Guest :-( Posted April 12, 2018 Report Share Posted April 12, 2018 Can tell me why are you feeling this way? How did you overcome it? And now, what are you going to do about it... Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Skinny Fat Posted April 12, 2018 Report Share Posted April 12, 2018 Yes I want to die! I cannot take it animore! My life is terrible! I am ugly l! skinny Fat! And disgusting looking! Nobody wants me! I want Choi Minho! He is something I need desperately! I hate everybody! Let me die! Don’t stop me! At least at death I have hope reborn as a more goodlooking person Choi Minho will like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cutejack Posted April 13, 2018 Report Share Posted April 13, 2018 (edited) Put up a topic someone can die with alot of drama.sibeh nabeh.lol Edited April 13, 2018 by cutejack Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Skinny Fat Ugly Posted April 13, 2018 Report Share Posted April 13, 2018 2 hours ago, cutejack said: Put up a topic someone can die with alot of drama.sibeh nabeh.lol Just because you call yourself ‘cute’jack does not give you the right to make fun of and laught at other people. You are not Choi Minho! He will never be nasty like you! I want to die!!!! i cannot take all this evil and unfairness anymore! Why i hAve to be borned Skinny Fat and ugly!!!????? Why I have to put up with all the insults!!!! God! Take me! Let me die!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cutejack Posted April 13, 2018 Report Share Posted April 13, 2018 Hey hello be thankful u r not handicapped or having any illness Ppl who always thankful will have a peaceful n blessed life. U think im cute n handsome meh.my nick only say so.huahahahahaha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Skinny fatty Ugliest Posted April 13, 2018 Report Share Posted April 13, 2018 I cannot take this torment anymore! God I want this miserable and ugly existence to end. Why you created me so ugly???? Ahhhg I cannot bear to look at myself! I cannot eat cannot drink or think or go to sleep! i live Minho so much! but I cannot have him!!! why? Why? Why? is so unfair. He is so handsome So cute and such cute butt! I can just die thinking of him and I cannot help me die quickly! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CKW Posted April 13, 2018 Report Share Posted April 13, 2018 11 hours ago, Guest :-( said: Can tell me why are you feeling this way? How did you overcome it? And now, what are you going to do about it... Thanks Hey, Not sure why you are asking this, but if you are feeling suicidal, understand that you are not alone. Do get help and talk to someone. You can all the SOS hotline (24 hrs) at 1800 221 4444. Take care! https://www.sos.org.sg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tampenises Posted April 13, 2018 Report Share Posted April 13, 2018 (edited) - Try your best to stay positive, - Friends - are important, - Sports - eg. Yoga. Channel any negative thoughts into sports which you really enjoy(can make friends too), - Hobbies - Anything to keep your mind going, - Religion - any that interest you. - Try to stay away from sad songs. Get professional help if all the above fails. It does help affter you pour out your sorrows/ heart to the professionals. You are more than what you think you are so don’t give up. Don’t choose the easiest way out. Smile Edited April 13, 2018 by Tampenises typo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abang Posted April 13, 2018 Report Share Posted April 13, 2018 If I have the mentality of that Skinny Fat Ugly, I would not have live till my current age of 57 (in 2 days' time). Life is never a bed of roses and yes, we are entitled to complain and whine non-stop (like me 3 years ago in the hospital). I was so unhappy with the treatment and the food but never had I once think of dying. Also in life, we cannot have everything. Sometimes we win and most of the time, we lose. So what? Life goes on and learn to appreciate the smaller things in life. If there is no man who wants us, we should want ourselves. We should pamper ourselves - from spa treatment, good food, good wine，享受蔡琴的歌声 and good books. 没有男人不可悲， 不懂爱惜自己才混账！ I am sure there is a man a lan-jiao away. auscent 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dying man Posted April 13, 2018 Report Share Posted April 13, 2018 I feel like dying because I feel I have not achieve anything big in life. for me house is the most important things to have. and I have not own one yet. and not smart and no irreplaceable or important skills. I have too many worries as my age is increasing. feel like just go and die. don't want to live a miserable life Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest miracles Posted April 13, 2018 Report Share Posted April 13, 2018 what is miserable and what is successful? i once heard a taxi driver telling me he used to work in bank, earns quite fat and always go for overseas trip. in the end he got retrenched and end up driving cab. when you are successful u are always worried about losing your business, losing your house, hard to make friends,... if you can make it good for you anyway but if you can't achieve anything 'big' (i think you meant make lots of money buy house and so on) i guess sometimes we just have to accept a simpler life and live happily. be contented we are not blind and still need to make a livelihood. be contented that we can have legs walk and go for a jog whenever we like. most of all, be contented you have a life, you are a human living in times of peace, although tiring, but so many people out there in place worse than ours are struggling to live. i wish your heart finds the right place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ugly Skinny Fatty Posted April 13, 2018 Report Share Posted April 13, 2018 25 minutes ago, Guest miracles said: what is miserable and what is successful? i once heard a taxi driver telling me he used to work in bank, earns quite fat and always go for overseas trip. in the end he got retrenched and end up driving cab. when you are successful u are always worried about losing your business, losing your house, hard to make friends,... if you can make it good for you anyway but if you can't achieve anything 'big' (i think you meant make lots of money buy house and so on) i guess sometimes we just have to accept a simpler life and live happily. be contented we are not blind and still need to make a livelihood. be contented that we can have legs walk and go for a jog whenever we like. most of all, be contented you have a life, you are a human living in times of peace, although tiring, but so many people out there in place worse than ours are struggling to live. i wish your heart finds the right place. Yes yes at least a person kind enough to wish that my heart will find the right place!!! Yes yes I want to die! Die quickly is my hearts dearest wish. I cannot have Minho - what is there to live! Let me die with some hope and dignity that I may be reborn more beautiful next life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowball Posted April 13, 2018 Report Share Posted April 13, 2018 (edited) Stop Thinking - Just Do It - You Can Do Anything! Edited April 13, 2018 by snowball Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Unwanted Skinny Fatty Posted April 13, 2018 Report Share Posted April 13, 2018 53 minutes ago, snowball said: Stop Thinking - Just Do It - You Can Do Anything! Yes I know what you wAnt me to do. Don’t worry I will not live Long to pain you! My life is already a terrible burden without any kindness or love or Minho!!!! How am I going to bear dying and living Minho?!!! How can I bear living at alll. Ohhh all this is killing me!!!!!! Why don’t I just fall down unconscious!!!! lightning strike me down!!?!!!!!!! Let me Die!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NickT Posted April 13, 2018 Report Share Posted April 13, 2018 Always look on the bright side of things theres a silver lining in every cloud! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest :-( Posted April 13, 2018 Report Share Posted April 13, 2018 Thanks everyone for the kind words. I'm touched that even as a strangers, you offer a bit of concern for me. I wish my parents are gone so I can make an easier exit. This is something I can't tell my bf too. One day, my final day will come. Can't wait for it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Depressed Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 Somehow... someone took a video of me cruising in public toilet and passed it to my company.... now everyone is avoiding me with only some being professional.... i really cannot stand this loneliness.... trying hard to find a new job.... but it is not easy.... i regret doing it but sometimes.. injust get stressed and i .... really feel like shit.. how am i going to carry on like this.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 It happens to us that we sporadically wish to die. What helps me in such situation are the thoughts about all the people who would be hurt by me dying. These are not only the ones who depend on me, financially or otherwise but includes everyone who likes my company, my persona: family, friends, neighbors. A dead person is gone forever, never again able to communicate again, interact. And we are erased from a dead person's mind like we have never existed for them. Is this irreparable pain, grieving of many people justified by some individuals having seen you cruising in a public toilet? Does this make you liable of going to jail, of being fired from your job, of catching a terminal illness? One useful thought is: FUCK THEM! Depending on the nature of the video and the person who took it, you can deny everything and accuse the person of having set it up. ENJOY lying as much as you can and even making fun of it, dismissing any insinuations. Take this opportunity to build up assertiveness, a thick skin, resilience. DON'T retreat to a dark corner like a roach sprayed with Off. They don't come to you? Go to THEM with a friendly smile in your face. MaleHQ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Depressed Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 Thanks Steve. I really feel disgusted with what i have done.... i cannot take back what i did... i am trying to look forward but i really feel miserable... took mc today and have been stuck in my room crying and sleeping... will take mc tmr also... as i dont know how to face them especially when they avoid me outright.. its not my fault that i am gay... if i can change .. i will ... but this persecution is not fair Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 Look at the case of this Black actor Jussie Smollett who apparently staged an attack on him and made a false report of it. He is now terribly disgraced, with charges brought against him and a perspective of jail time, with loss of his work, fame, everything. Did he break down, tearfully confessed his crime and asked for forgiveness? NO! He hired a top lawyer and is going to fight the charges. He denies everything and keeps his claims to be a victim. I am not condoning what he allegedly did and I think that it is very probable that he is guilty. He must have additional grief that HE did this to himself and is seen by everyone as a stupid loser. But I like the fact that he is fighting back instead of letting himself be destroyed. And I wish him luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
romeooug Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 Hold your head up high and live life without regret. You are who you are. There is no shame in that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 1 minute ago, Guest Depressed said: Thanks Steve. I really feel disgusted with what i have done.... i cannot take back what i did... i am trying to look forward but i really feel miserable... took mc today and have been stuck in my room crying and sleeping... will take mc tmr also... as i dont know how to face them especially when they avoid me outright.. its not my fault that i am gay... if i can change .. i will ... but this persecution is not fair If the video would show you seducing and fooling around with women, their reactions would be completely different. You know that there is nothing wrong in being a gay and that cruising in a public toilet is nothing serious. So you also must know that THEY are the ones who are wrong, brain-washed, fooled by antiquated ideas. How to face them, when they avoid you outright? Face them with a friendly smile. Like nothing happened. They avoid you.... why? "oh, what a stupidity!!, that's all false" Unless you have come out as gay, can you be bisexual? Can you have a girlfriend? Could she have challenged you to cruise in a toilet? If you are not extremely ugly, you can find a girlfriend for a while? Can you have her come to your office and kiss you in front of all the people there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Depressed Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 I am really lost now... i am thinking of quitting but i really need to job to support my elderly parents. At my age, it is not easy to find another job. I have always been in the closet and this makes it more painful for me. Thank you for your pragmatic words... but it is really difficult to see rationally if you are the one who is affected ... and the problem is i cannot share this with anyone i know.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovehandle Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 i m sorry i dont find the above comments much helping the problem is he cruised and it was recorded how would the HR and co. view him & how your boss see it Are u willing to apologise and ask your co. what do they intend to deal with u? (also u sure u can control your urges? u must have cruised for quite long before it was "Recorded") there are venues for you to "Release" ,doin it at a public (including male toilets) is not professional at all(yes, u r slightly better than those who can do it at staircase , gardens, malls) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 1 minute ago, Guest Depressed said: I am really lost now... i am thinking of quitting but i really need to job to support my elderly parents. At my age, it is not easy to find another job. I have always been in the closet and this makes it more painful for me. Thank you for your pragmatic words... but it is really difficult to see rationally if you are the one who is affected ... and the problem is i cannot share this with anyone i know.... Don't try to see it RATIONALLY. Human relations are not rational. DON'T QUIT. Give it some time and see what happens. This could be THE OPPORTUNITY OF YOUR LIFE to emerge from your capsule of shyness and stand up for yourself. You could ignore the whole thing, or take it with humor, or you could let yourself be pulled out of the closet as a disgraced gay, or you could step out as a metrosexual, dealing with girls but fooling around too, something that is nobody's business but yours. You can share this with us at BW, we know each other Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Time will heal Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 Damn. that's a really bad predicament. Did you do it at the vicinity of your office? If not, then someone is definitely have a feud with you. Do you have any idea who? Not like it will salvage anything, at least you can get their reason for doing so. Since they video you in the toilet, it's breach of privacy on your side? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 (edited) 6 minutes ago, -Ignored- said: i m sorry i dont find the above comments much helping And you think that it HELPS to recriminate him for having cruised and tell him to ask for forgiveness and mercy? If the video was not taken in a bathroom at the workplace, it should not be relevant to his status as employee. Instead it could be a violation of any regulation against taking hidden videos and making them public for evil purposes. (the person who took the video could be threatened with filing a claim) . Edited February 25, 2019 by Steve5380 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Depressed Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 The problem is .. no one is saying anything to me.... i am not someone who cruises regularly.... it happened on a day i was really stressed....last wed... and on friday, i see a complete change in attitude of my colleagues... i am guessing this is the only explanation... their attitude shows a sense of disgust when i tried to talk to them... even the usual lunch grp did not call me and left. Anyway... i know that i cannot do anything right now.... i need the job ... i just need to buy time... on friday .. my boss was still ok... i am not sure is it because he is not aware yet... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Depressed Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 Thank you all... i am not sure what i am going to do.... i am just going to sleep this off for the time being....i am really tired of crying.... it feels better and then the realisation my my situation sets in again... i really hope no one ever undergoes what i am feeling now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovehandle Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 i only care about moving forwd the first thing is he has to manage his sexual activities - cruise somemore and get caught again? -control somemore but will lead to even intense urges Which is why i provide him a proper channel/solution (nearest to 1, doesnt mean ie a proper venue/channel, one usu will not committ such acts near/@ a work place vicinity ): goin to sauna Only upon reflection then one can move on (if one holds his head up without even reflecting,nothing will be changed when in the very first place, esp if it is a mistake committed near to a workplace) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovehandle Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 18 minutes ago, Guest Depressed said: The problem is .. no one is saying anything to me.... i am not someone who cruises regularly.... it happened on a day i was really stressed....last wed... and on friday, i see a complete change in attitude of my colleagues... i am guessing this is the only explanation... their attitude shows a sense of disgust when i tried to talk to them... even the usual lunch grp did not call me and left. Anyway... i know that i cannot do anything right now.... i need the job ... i just need to buy time... on friday .. my boss was still ok... i am not sure is it because he is not aware yet... crying is therapeutic, do cry it out real loud please the issue is not whether u cruises regularly , the problem is u did it somewhere too close to your workplace and I didnt mention the frequency, i emphasized on the length of it if i m going to a toilet (for a typical male, i will unzip and let it all out at a urinal and walk out immediately, tht takes less than 30sec), i usu will just urinate and rush back to office or to go home(for a good rest) I wont even have the luxury time to even stand there and observe males but if i have seen something and i must have monitor it quite long that my brain told me something is wrong, and then i will take out a camera and start recording , in short: your activity must be of lengthy for someone to observe something is "wrong" with you (in a situation esp in a toilet scene, i will not take out a phone to start recording another male for fun) I made mistakes too (Far worse than this), paid a terrible price for that too, life still goes on after my reflection Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovehandle Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 27 minutes ago, Guest Depressed said: The problem is .. no one is saying anything to me.... i am not someone who cruises regularly.... it happened on a day i was really stressed....last wed... and on friday, i see a complete change in attitude of my colleagues... i am guessing this is the only explanation... their attitude shows a sense of disgust when i tried to talk to them... even the usual lunch grp did not call me and left. Anyway... i know that i cannot do anything right now.... i need the job ... i just need to buy time... on friday .. my boss was still ok... i am not sure is it because he is not aware yet... what do you expect anyone to say to u?? "Bro (or sis)" , stop performing such "gayish" actions in.............if u wanna do, pls do it at your personal trip or house or ..,..the male colleagues of our co. will be ..." i rather not want to hear such comments (cos i have done my reflection and felt apologetic enugh*) i dont need to hear such comments , such warnings should be given to recalcitrants instead * a mature would have done so much reflection (rather than ignore the whole thing, or take it with humor) and to treat this matter w seriousness, this could be a legal case if ....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest disclosed yourself Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 Actually instead of feeling like a criminal you should report the guy who distributed the video in your conpany to the police. He had no right to disclose it without your consent. The leak amounts to bullying and harassment. He is the real cuprit not you. The leak is a violation of the PDPA. Sometimes you have to be strong and fight back. If you need help or assistance respond back. ------------------------------------------------------------------ E kore e ea i te kupu taku aroha mōu. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve5380 Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 6 minutes ago, Guest disclosed yourself said: Actually instead of feeling like a criminal you should report the guy who distributed the video in your conpany to the police. He had no right to disclose it without your consent. The leak amounts to bullying and harassment. He is the real cuprit not you. The leak is a violation of the PDPA. Sometimes you have to be strong and fight back. If you need help or assistance respond back. You have the right idea. It would be helpful if there were a group or individual who could support him in person. If the publication of the video was a crime in SG, he could hire a lawyer. 37 minutes ago, Guest Depressed said: Thank you all... i am not sure what i am going to do.... i am just going to sleep this off for the time being....i am really tired of crying.... it feels better and then the realisation my my situation sets in again... i really hope no one ever undergoes what i am feeling now Bad things can happen to anyone of us. And so we like to help. Maybe you can give us some more details like: How was the video distributed, and were you named with it? Did you see it? Are you fully recognizable in it? Did it caught you in a sexual act? Where did the cruising happen? You can also casually ask your colleagues why they are avoiding you, or missed to going with you to lunch. But don't admit to anything. Meanwhile, there is nothing wrong with crying, sleeping it off. These things often look and feel worse than what they actually are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest disclosed yourself Posted February 25, 2019 Report Share Posted February 25, 2019 15 minutes ago, Steve5380 said: You have the right idea. It would be helpful if there were a group or individual who could support him in person. If the publication of the video was a crime in SG, he could hire a lawyer. Bad things can happen to anyone of us. And so we like to help. Maybe you can give us some more details like: How was the video distributed, and were you named with it? Did you see it? Are you fully recognizable in it? Did it caught you in a sexual act? Where did the cruising happen? You can also casually ask your colleagues why they are avoiding you, or missed to going with you to lunch. But don't admit to anything. Meanwhile, there is nothing wrong with crying, sleeping it off. These things often look and feel worse than what they actually are. the picture of someone, who can be identified counts as personal data in Singapore. I can offer to help. maybe others join in too. We should not allow others to go scotts free on such things. -------------------------------------------------------------- Waiho i te toipoto, kaua i te toiroa. Let us keep close together not far apart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 Your hr can't persecute u though your colleagues can ostracize u. Just be strong, find a new job n move on. Quote 鍾意就好，理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Depressed Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 Yes... i think my boss does not talk about it because what i did was in my own free time after work.. and he knows that i do good work for the company. dont really want to blow this up by reporting to police .. am worried that it may become bigger.....then i cannot face my own family. Will take another 2 more days of MC... just texted my boss that i am having high fever... donno how long i can keep this up. thanks for all your support.... It helps but i am really not sure whats going to happen when i go back to work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovehandle Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 Good that u learn to face it a co. Has the right to ensure all staff perform w professionalism at all situatn esp if it s abt a person’s character Any suggestion which will not help in polishing a better character of yourself(nt others), do not ever spent half a second pondering them, that adds on to your headache/illness https://www.facebook.com/921897311234267/posts/2197088457048473?sfns=mo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FattChoy Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 On 4/13/2018 at 2:45 AM, Guest :-( said: Can tell me why are you feeling this way? How did you overcome it? And now, what are you going to do about it... Thanks I wanna end my life by masturbating to death. But after one round, I just want a good plate of chicken chop and large serving of chips and coleslaw instead. Then play a few hours on my ipad, maybe catch some TV series. Then hang out with my friends over tea, as I check out cute bears over Growlr and Jackd. What was the question again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fab Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 In Buddhism, the primary purpose of life is to end suffering. http://www.religionfacts.com/buddhism/meaning-life Buddhism advocates the Noble Eightfold Path, and does not advocate suicide. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_views_on_suicide Quote 鍾意就好，理佢男定女 never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want. 结缘不结怨 解怨不解缘 After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say. 看穿不说穿 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest disclosed yourself Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 5 hours ago, Guest Depressed said: Yes... i think my boss does not talk about it because what i did was in my own free time after work.. and he knows that i do good work for the company. dont really want to blow this up by reporting to police .. am worried that it may become bigger.....then i cannot face my own family. Will take another 2 more days of MC... just texted my boss that i am having high fever... donno how long i can keep this up. thanks for all your support.... It helps but i am really not sure whats going to happen when i go back to work. Why should there be any impact on your family? For such a report you won't end up in the tv or on the front line of any news. And you can always request for a gag order (meaning your name is not allowed to be published during any circumstance). People have been belittling gays for very long and have been doing this to shame them. The guy who filmed you could have made a joke with you and tease you here and there after he saw it, but not to share the video in the company. He is the one who should approach you and at least offer to apologise. You can ask him for his apology first. You might call up a friend and ask him to meet with you while your friend is around. Don't meet him alone. If he doesn't then I can only rest with my earlier recommendation: report him. The police in Singapore knows to handle such cases in privacy. Your boss can still factor in your deeds (from outside the office) or bypass you in future for any promotions due to the fact that you are gay or what happened. (Look a boss would not employ someone who he finds out that he had a brawl at a bar, just as an example, so some colleague filming his and distributing this, could mean the end of his employment at the company). So your boss still might factor in all this. Then, if he needs a team to work together and if you fall out of the team due to this, what is left for him to do? I don't think that in such situations there is a track record for good work done in companies. It depends a little on the personal morals of your boss too. For sure in the long term it is best to find a new employer. But I don't want you to run away and let the real nasty culprit succeed in his shameful actions to pin you as a gay and belittle you in front of others. Straight people fail in life too. But do we run around and make everyone aware of their faults at every corner? Yes, you can run away from this, but it might haunt you sooner or earlier again. In a small city like Singapore even if you work in a new company your ex colleague might know someone with your then new Employer. I assume the boss will talk to you sooner or earlier. If you have a very good boss, he would even "defend" you in front of his staff and point out the wrong. But many bosses are not trained to handle such situations. I have no issues to meet up with you and assist you throughout this period. I have been made belittled as a gay during my university studies and can recall your experience and what you are going through. Some guys to an incident even tried to blackmail me. Sometimes we have to face the truth and sometimes it is good to fight back if people just use this against you. I gained strength from that experience and learned not only to accept myself but to handle such situations better in future. You can't run away from certain things in life which are innate to us gays. ______________________________________________________________________ He kai tangata, he kai titongitongi kaki; He kai na tona ringa, tino kai tino makona noa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truth Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 (edited) 8 hours ago, Guest Depressed said: Yes... i think my boss does not talk about it because what i did was in my own free time after work.. and he knows that i do good work for the company. dont really want to blow this up by reporting to police .. am worried that it may become bigger.....then i cannot face my own family. Will take another 2 more days of MC... just texted my boss that i am having high fever... donno how long i can keep this up. thanks for all your support.... It helps but i am really not sure whats going to happen when i go back to work. Glad that you are thinking sensibly, by reporting to the police/confronting the whistleblower will only blow things up further. Just remember 2 wrongs do not make a right, 何必弄的两败俱伤. I feel it is always good to go back to work asap, the more you sit on it, the more you are going to think negatively. Once you have cried your heart out , it is perhaps time to face the truth. You might want to start off by rehearsing in front of the mirror, focus on how you should carry yourself if people were to bring this up. Just bear in mind, nobody is 100% pure & perfect in this world...I'm sure it is not too difficult to come up with 1 good reason that could help you gain the understanding & empathy from others. I believe a certain self-proclaimed heroine here (more like 猪八戒though) has already offered *it's assistance . Just remember to seek a second opinon here if you were to meet up with *it (hope I'm using the right pronoun as she might be offended by gender inequality). It is actually normal to be getting all these cold shoulders from others as they are probably still coming to terms with this shocking exposé of yours. I'm sure if you have been a good co-worker all this while, people will soon forget and move on with their lives. 天无绝人之路 the worst can happen is to lower your expectations a bit & move on with a new job lor. Edited February 26, 2019 by Truth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alponsu Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 8 hours ago, Guest Depressed said: Yes... i think my boss does not talk about it because what i did was in my own free time after work.. and he knows that i do good work for the company. dont really want to blow this up by reporting to police .. am worried that it may become bigger.....then i cannot face my own family. Will take another 2 more days of MC... just texted my boss that i am having high fever... donno how long i can keep this up. thanks for all your support.... It helps but i am really not sure whats going to happen when i go back to work. I do hope you get better soon. The recording of you sounds like an underhanded attempt to ruin your reputation. Is such a toxic culture normal in the company? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jurlean87 Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 Hey, sorry to hear you’re feeling this way, but good that you expressed it. SOS saved my life, must seek professional help yah? As CKW mentioned above: SOS hotline (24 hrs) at 1800 221 4444. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FattChoy Posted February 26, 2019 Report Share Posted February 26, 2019 20 hours ago, Guest Depressed said: Somehow... someone took a video of me cruising in public toilet and passed it to my company.... now everyone is avoiding me with only some being professional.... i really cannot stand this loneliness.... trying hard to find a new job.... but it is not easy.... i regret doing it but sometimes.. injust get stressed and i .... really feel like shit.. how am i going to carry on like this.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovehandle Posted February 27, 2019 Report Share Posted February 27, 2019 once reflected, move on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thorzguy Posted February 27, 2019 Report Share Posted February 27, 2019 (edited) All of us have been thru the lows in our lives. Some may sink into depression, with or without realizing it. It doesn't help when almost all aspects in life came crashing down on you and it seems like you are the only one suffering. But hey, that's is totally UNTRUE. Everyone has their own set of problems and by turning to death, is a very cowardly way of handling any situations. Plus, the problem does not go away. Be a responsible man, hold your head high and keep going. Stay positive, focus on what can be done (instead of the problem), exercise and rest well. Pray (if you have a religion) and mediate. Remember: there are millions of people who are fighting to stay alive. Being alive is the greatest gift of all. Side note - there are days that I just feel so damn bloody tired. From work, family and any other damn thing that can happen. What I will do is to take a day or two OFF and just sleep. Go for my run too. After that, I feel much better, and happier. Edited February 27, 2019 by thorzguy abgsam001 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Depressed Posted February 27, 2019 Report Share Posted February 27, 2019 Thanks everyone for the support.... some colleagues have reached out to me via whatsapp to check if i am ok. I guess, i have no choice... will face what i have to and just focus on my work till i move on and find another job... really appreciate the solidarity in supporting me thru advice and even to meet me in person... i will just pray that i have the strength to go to work tmr and see thru the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest disclosed yourself Posted February 27, 2019 Report Share Posted February 27, 2019 No worries, we are happy that you are on the way back to track. In a small city like Singapore I m very sure that most of us, even those who tried to be as closeted as possible have had a sort of awkward experience. You never know who is loitering around. It is a good sign to receive some whatsapp from colleagues. Straight people sometimes get that guilt feeling too, because they know we are humans. They might have feared you committed suicide. And I bet often they will just say: It just came out what we suspected for quite some time and what was rumoured between the colleagues behind the ranks of the office pantry. "Ah, have you seen XYZ was there at the Starbucks with that 20y younger guy... do you think he is...?" In fact, a lot of female colleagues can recognise very fast if someone might be gay. It is the way we look at girls and where we tend to look at. More often it are the male colleagues who have no clue. Despite the fact that one Member here spoke out against me, I know that the decision rests with you. Maybe it is just a result of my personal experience, but straight guys must learn too that some things cross the limit. Distributing videos in between of colleagues of such a nature are a clear no go. There is no difference if let's see you start distributing explicit sexual videos you shot from two straight colleagues who are both married and have an extramarital affair and which you took secretly let's say on a company trip or excursion. Nowadays, I would have the guts to bring the problem up to the guy who took or distributed the video. But you better get a good rest and, yep, stepping back to the office won't be as easy as before but I hope you will manage it. And as I said often here at other places, I hope you can look for some "more or less" trusted good gay friend. I m very sure this will not be the last thing happened to you and it is always good to have someone to talk to. Don't stay on your own. You are in a privileged city already where you can find other gay guys as friends and you're not in a small town somewhere with the next bigger city 100km away (e.g. Indonesia, Thailand). Trust me, you will find a lot of friends if you just want to. Wear your pink undies with pride, head up, you are not a lesser person only because you are gay. You did nothing seriously wrong. In fact, it was nothing. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- He wha tawhara ki uta, he kiko tamure ki tai. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovehandle Posted March 1, 2019 Report Share Posted March 1, 2019 On 2/27/2019 at 4:35 PM, Guest Depressed said: Thanks everyone for the support.... some colleagues have reached out to me via whatsapp to check if i am ok. I guess, i have no choice... will face what i have to and just focus on my work till i move on and find another job... really appreciate the solidarity in supporting me thru advice and even to meet me in person... i will just pray that i have the strength to go to work tmr and see thru the day. even colleagues know?????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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