Touchy guys

[Guest Confused Senior]

Hi BW, can someone explain to me why some guys get very touchy with other guys?

Not the kind that touches your tits, butt or crotch, but the kind that randomly places their hands on yours, randomly pulls you over and lock elbows, places their hands on your thigh. The kind that might randomly say they miss you (or sometimes love you even?!?!) but they don't mean it that way, do they?!?!

These kinds of more "intimate", "affectionate" gestures in general.

 

As expected, the reason why I'm asking is cus this straight, attached guy has been doing these to me. We aren't super close, but we're in the same CCA and I'm his senior. There were instances where I gave him advice here and there, so I think we became friends this way. We also have a certain synergy when it comes to our CCA, so we tend to stick close to one other.

There was once he took my hand and locked our fingers, and there are instances where I notice him looking at my direction from the corner of my eye.

 

(Trying really hard not to think so much T.T)

 

So anyway, why do think some guys do this? Is it cus they were deprived of some human touch while growing up so they start to crave it from other people? Or Is this perhaps cus he's trying to get my attention cus I'm his senior and he looks up to me (I'm sure he does)

[Lemonjuice]

Why dont you just ask him? 

[lovehandle]

good reply Lemon juice

maybe TS has to stop assuming he is PURELY straight

[repressednerd]

Some people are naturally touchy and this is likely due to their upbringing where their family does a lot of touching even when expressing non-romantic love.

 

Normally I would think that those who hardly practise touching during their upbringing would be uncomfortable with touching.

 

Touching is quite fine, unless he touch some parts like your butt or rubs your back. Then you know the intention is definitely not platonic.

[Guest Two Cents]

Is it possible that sometimes he is doing these out of security? Perhaps in some of the foreign circumstances, he feels less secure but he behaves like you said because you are his close buddy and being around you makes him feel more comfortable with his surrounding.

Just offering my two cents

[lovehandle]

22 minutes ago, repressednerd said:

Some people are naturally touchy and this is likely due to their upbringing where their family does a lot of touching even when expressing non-romantic love.

 

Normally I would think that those who hardly practise touching during their upbringing would be uncomfortable with touching.

 

Touching is quite fine, unless he touch some parts like your butt or rubs your back. Then you know the intention is definitely not platonic.

TS mentioned touched thighs woh (near to crotch)
and then touching is fine , eg pat shoulders or back

but he mentioned locked fingers (i only does that to kids) and peeping at TS too esp there is nothing insecure to talk about when it comes to CCA (not as in a major decision like migration to another ctry for good)
Lacking of human touch doesnt mean u go do it
Some child are not breast-fed by their mum, or the mum was no longer w them since born, would that led them to touch other mothers?
usu those who do it are those who have experiences sleeping on a mum's breast ...and they yearn to have it again
 

[iwannac]

I personally think I'm quite touchy by nurture. I was pretty much raised that way by my mum and I'm quite aware of it.

I can tell you now that even though that's how I show love and affection (and I don't necessarily mean in a romantic way), I am also aware of the way I touch people.

 

Friends and/or colleagues that I'm close to; I'll probably touch their hands, back, and/or shoulders. Sometimes other parts too but usually in a very conscious, joking manner (e.g. caressing their thigh and smiling at them in a creepy manner, pinching their face/cheeks lightly and telling them that they are such a handsome young man/beautiful young lady). I should also note that it also applies the other way around, whereby if I consider someone an acquaintance or unfavourable, I would not feel comfortable having any form of physical contact with the said person.

 

That being said, I will never touch anyone (probably other than my nonexistent partner) the way your colleague touches you. I find the behaviour you described quite intimate. I think @-Ignored- is right. While he might have a girlfriend, I don't think it's safe to assume that your colleague is purely straight - unless he is from a different culture.

Edited November 19, 2018 by iwannac

[lovehandle]

Just like many thought that japan is famous for porn or kinky stuff

all my jp colleagues felt weird when they heard from a SEAsian colleague that her son is still sleeping with her (at the age of P3-4)
they (the jp) felt that is not right

many parents bathe w child in full view  (eg Jp onsens) , this is not unheard of
but one day if u r tasked to help bathe your pri-sch nephews or nieces  in their home (parents are late from home) , do u also strip yourself in full nude and then to bathe them? (even though u knew for sure no1 will be returning at that time -u have full privacy by yourself) - i will never assume that japanese can accept  Parents sleeping together with children(even with pyjamas or clothings fully on)


Being brought up is 1 thing but carrying youself is another
ie also similar to :

Choose to live a lifestyle is 1 way (cos u r living in your own residence) but once u r out to the real world, u know what is not acceptable and what is to avoid 
Anyone can have their own choice (to b touchy) but carrying them out which involve another person, i trust a matured person will know what is best and how to behave
To me, TS's case is very obvious (1 way is to observe whether he does that to another person, since u r able to observe so much things using the corner of your eyes)

[Guest guest]

Touchy guy friend? I have never had such friend in my entire life. Maybe no one interested to touch me?

[Ironrod]

18 hours ago, Guest Confused Senior said:

Hi BW, can someone explain to me why some guys get very touchy with other guys?

Not the kind that touches your tits, butt or crotch, but the kind that randomly places their hands on yours, randomly pulls you over and lock elbows, places their hands on your thigh. The kind that might randomly say they miss you (or sometimes love you even?!?!) but they don't mean it that way, do they?!?!

These kinds of more "intimate", "affectionate" gestures in general.

 

As expected, the reason why I'm asking is cus this straight, attached guy has been doing these to me. We aren't super close, but we're in the same CCA and I'm his senior. There were instances where I gave him advice here and there, so I think we became friends this way. We also have a certain synergy when it comes to our CCA, so we tend to stick close to one other.

There was once he took my hand and locked our fingers, and there are instances where I notice him looking at my direction from the corner of my eye.

 

(Trying really hard not to think so much T.T)

 

So anyway, why do think some guys do this? Is it cus they were deprived of some human touch while growing up so they start to crave it from other people? Or Is this perhaps cus he's trying to get my attention cus I'm his senior and he looks up to me (I'm sure he does)

 

It's call Bromance and it's fun! Especially if you are cute. Don't read too much abt it becos some guys are just fun-loving, some are just notti.

 

During army time, my muscular sergeant (he is the one who motivates me to gym) even purposely teases me by showing me his big dick (I think it was just to prove not all big muscular has a small dick). He has a SIA gf that time so I never think otherwise.  Learn to differentiate bromance and romance, it will save u a lot of heartaches.

[sum1outhere_03]

Hmm, if you really want a definite "label", it can prolly be drilled down to this thing call "love language" (disclaimer: not the kind of erotic love you'd think of; just love in general).

 

There are generally 5 categories (5 love languages):

• words of affirmation
• quality time
• receiving gifts
• acts of service
• touch

If he like to give touch, then most likely his love language is touch, regardless of gender.

I have male and female who likes to be "touchy"  

[zyjd]

24 minutes ago, Ironrod said:

 

It's call Bromance and it's fun! Especially if you are cute. Don't read too much abt it becos some guys are just fun-loving, some are just notti.

 

During army time, my muscular sergeant (he is the one who motivates me to gym) even purposely teases me by showing me his big dick (I think it was just to prove not all big muscular has a small dick). He has a SIA gf that time so I never think otherwise.  Learn to differentiate bromance and romance, it will save u a lot of heartaches.

just curious though: did your sergeant know about your sexual orientation? I'm thinking he may not be so inclined to teasing by exposing his dick to you if he knew you're gay.

[Conflicted]

On 11/19/2018 at 10:32 PM, sum1outhere_03 said:

Hmm, if you really want a definite "label", it can prolly be drilled down to this thing call "love language" (disclaimer: not the kind of erotic love you'd think of; just love in general).

 

There are generally 5 categories (5 love languages😞

• words of affirmation
• quality time
• receiving gifts
• acts of service
• touch

If he like to give touch, then most likely his love language is touch, regardless of gender.

I have male and female who likes to be "touchy"  

 

-

Edited January 11, 2021 by Conflicted

[Guest Confused Senior]

Hey BWers, thank you for all your comments!

 

It makes sense that a person might become touchy if he/she was nurtured this way. He/she would also have to be comfortable with the person he/she is touching, so I guess I'm happy he feels comfortable enough with me:). But, it still seems really strange that a person would purposely touch me in areas that most people would only touch if they're that close to each other romantically. As per @iwannacmcomment, most people would deliberately show signs that he/she is merely joking. My junior doesn't really show any signs that he is joking. And if he's really being funny, why for heaven's sake is he trying to see how far he can go with his touching. There is a limit to how naughty one can be right? And what did he, or touchy ppl in general, get out of all this?

 

@-Ignored-he's is also touchy with some other guys in the CCA. But I seem to get most of it. Perhaps it's just cus we're always near one another.

Oh, but interestingly enough he does not touch my butt. I, on the other hand, did place my hand above his butt once, in response to him placing his hand at my waist. @repressednerdI guess i'm the one exposing my intentions instead ehehheh *spasms and dies*

 

@Conflicted I spend huge amounts of energy trying not to over think things haha. I still am trying not to. But it doesn't help that he's my type. Man, Bromance is tough on a gay guy, esp when feelings develop unintentionally. I'm enjoying it nonetheless. But still... Cukbcyuutfb

 

Perhaps I'll casually ask him about it when the opportunity arises. I just hope it won't get weird. It happened to me once in secondary school already with another guy (thankfully we remained friends until we graduated but the time when it was weird was emotionally draining)

 

On a side note, @Ironrod you lucky man! I have yet to have a straight muscular guy show me his dong.

I did have a straight attached guy kiss me on the cheek in army tho. :3

He was trying to be funny, and loved my shocked reaction.

...

WHY STRAIGHT GUYS. WHY.

[Conflicted]

On 11/20/2018 at 4:11 AM, Guest Confused Senior said:

Hey BWers, thank you for all your comments!

 

It makes sense that a person might become touchy if he/she was nurtured this way. He/she would also have to be comfortable with the person he/she is touching, so I guess I'm happy he feels comfortable enough with me:). But, it still seems really strange that a person would purposely touch me in areas that most people would only touch if they're that close to each other romantically. As per @iwannacmcomment, most people would deliberately show signs that he/she is merely joking. My junior doesn't really show any signs that he is joking. And if he's really being funny, why for heaven's sake is he trying to see how far he can go with his touching. There is a limit to how naughty one can be right? And what did he, or touchy ppl in general, get out of all this?

 

@-Ignored-he's is also touchy with some other guys in the CCA. But I seem to get most of it. Perhaps it's just cus we're always near one another.

Oh, but interestingly enough he does not touch my butt. I, on the other hand, did place my hand above his butt once, in response to him placing his hand at my waist. @repressednerdI guess i'm the one exposing my intentions instead ehehheh *spasms and dies*

 

@Conflicted I spend huge amounts of energy trying not to over think things haha. I still am trying not to. But it doesn't help that he's my type. Man, Bromance is tough on a gay guy, esp when feelings develop unintentionally. I'm enjoying it nonetheless. But still... Cukbcyuutfb

 

Perhaps I'll casually ask him about it when the opportunity arises. I just hope it won't get weird. It happened to me once in secondary school already with another guy (thankfully we remained friends until we graduated but the time when it was weird was emotionally draining)

 

On a side note, @Ironrod you lucky man! I have yet to have a straight muscular guy show me his dong.

I did have a straight attached guy kiss me on the cheek in army tho. :3

He was trying to be funny, and loved my shocked reaction.

...

WHY STRAIGHT GUYS. WHY.

 

-

Edited January 11, 2021 by Conflicted

[Guest Warning Fools On Rules]

A small number of guys are simply touchy with their close friends. Take it as a compliment that he considers you a close enough friend to touch you. Don't assume that he is secretly gay or anything equally outlandish. If the topic ever comes up in conversation, make it clear that you are a 100% supporter of LGBTQ rights, and 100% opposed to any kind of senseless hatred. But do not come out of the closet, unless he does so first, or you really want to regardless of what impact doing so might have on your friendship.

 

Some guys here might give you bad advice because they have overactive imaginations, and it is not their problem if something goes wrong, while your life would be negatively impacted by going too far. There is nothing wrong with having close non-sexual friends. Put all gay thoughts out of your mind when you are with him, however, unless he is the one pushing things in that direction. I once had a touchy friend who was actually straight and came very close to doing something dumb. Then he got engaged and married.

[Ironrod]

23 hours ago, zyjd said:

just curious though: did your sergeant know about your sexual orientation? I'm thinking he may not be so inclined to teasing by exposing his dick to you if he knew you're gay.

 

Oh during my army days, I was as innocent as a piece of paper. But I agree with you, if he thinks i am gay, I doubt he will even talk to me. A lot of guys hit on him because he was perfection.

 

Oh, but I did always hug a cute buddy in bed while watching TV in the bunk (because we are staying in unit). I hug him so often that other bunkmates tell him not to spoil me. Nothing sexual, just pure teasing and playing. Army life was fun because I was a simpleton back then. Frankly speaking, my life was complicated only after I become gay and sexual awoken.

Edited November 20, 2018 by Ironrod

[Guest Blank]

I only allow cute guys to touch me

[Amethyst]

Its nice to have touchy guys friend. Gay or straight. During my army days, I have a buddy. We slept on double deck bed. Every morning I will woke up first from the upper deck. Will woke him up to go brush teeth and use toilet while all other bunk mates still sleeping.  

Edited November 14, 2020 by Amethyst

[Kimochi]

Communication means. Some people are just the touchy type.. 

[mate69]

only if u r as hot as kevin pearson in this is us

[yoyo74]

If a person touch you already means he like u be it gay or straight. When a person touches your thighs means he is trying to make you goes hard and he most probably want to see how your expression looks like when u goes hard. When a person touches you already given you the moral rights to touch him back. If you like him as well u should reciprocate the touching as well. You can also say something like "are you trying to touch my dick and jerk me off?". You can also touch his abs than his chest and slowly move to play with his nipples if he does not try to stop you. Penis should be the last part of the body to go through if he does not stop you. You are now already having fun with someone that you like. Only when u feel he is close enough than u can check out if hes gay or straight. If u cant feel the closeness between both of u than u can dont even need to ask.

[Guest Hand]

I have a Bangladesh colleague last time who hold my hand when we walked to mrt after work. Is their culture i think. 

 

Until not long ago, I read from someone explanation that because they have been taught to hold hands from young to avoid being kidnapped by strangers. Very touching story. 

[fetish72]

Get very touchy can be good and can be dangerous as it may get into trouble. Not much society get very touch unlike the European culture that also fall  at certain country and district. I think is all depend on the upbringing the families from. Asian tend to say that they are open minded but the bottom line is that they are not. There so many ways to show affection than get very touchy. Some people get touchy is to show their  care and affection towards another party. Some families they very close till they don't have the boundaries as long they know that they did not touch private area. If you have a family you can show the affection but as they grow older it have to  stop  those very touchy and we need to educate the young generation how they should behave as this start from home and reflect the upbringing in the family.

[yoyo74]

6 minutes ago, fetish72 said:

Get very touchy can be good and can be dangerous as it may get into trouble. Not much society get very touch unlike the European culture that also fall  at certain country and district. I think is all depend on the upbringing the families from. Asian tend to say that they are open minded but the bottom line is that they are not. There so many ways to show affection than get very touchy. Some people get touchy is to show their  care and affection towards another party. Some families they very close till they don't have the boundaries as long they know that they did not touch private area. If you have a family you can show the affection but as they grow older it have to  stop  those very touchy and we need to educate the young generation how they should behave as this start from home and reflect the upbringing in the family.

Lets educate the younger generations to be more touchy so more can be open minded lol

[cutejack]

1 hour ago, yoyo74 said:

Lets educate the younger generations to be more touchy so more can be open minded lol

yeah n we gain from it.lol

[Guest ikmal_90]

How can we prevent them especially on this situation of covid and monkeypox?