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What should I do? I Really like a guy 9 years younger than me...


Guest Klairz

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Guest Klairz

I've been reading BW for a while now and I feel this is kinda weird, but I thought I should open up my feelings (at least online) that I feel that I fancy a guy who is 9 years younger than me. We are pretty close (or at least i think!) we text each other, mostly about sports-related stuff, tech-stuff and also about mutual friends (aka gossiping). I really enjoy his company and texting almost every day. I know deep down it's one-sided unrequited love, but I still hope one day we can be closer than good friends/buddies (I'm not sure if this is possible). I've never really felt like this towards another guy, although I know I will not end up getting married with a woman. There were a few occasions where we traveled overseas (in a group) and I snuggled to sleep on the same bed as him (No other intentions) just to see him fall asleep with his cute boyish face under the dim light. He thinks that is "annoying" but still let me on his bed anyways. I'll also admire his nice smooth skin from afar, each time wanting to feel it with my own hands. I will tell myself inside that this boy deserves a good girl instead of a perverted man like me who likes guys. We know each other some time now, I really like him so much but I feel like each time I think of us ever being together, I die a little inside. He may or may not know I have "special" feelings for him (more than a friend) Sometimes I feel who we really love should not be based on whether he/she is a guy/girl😔Sorry for the long post, but I feel that it's a new year and I need to get this off my chest, welcome all comments! Happy 2020 everyone !

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Guest Try and see

Find opportunities to swim and go to the gym with him.

 

Even if you can't have him, you can get the chance to see him in various stages of undress, especially in the changing room  :twisted:

 

Cherish him, especially since I believe he is straight, because once a guy has a girlfriend or gets married, they won't have time to text you everyday or go out with you anymore. 

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What you feel for someone, be it infatuation or love, we've all experienced it at some point in our lives that feeling of unrequited love. In high school, I used to be in love with my classmate of 4 years. He's like big brother I never had and always friendly towards me even though I was very timid and shy to talk to new classmates in our first year. But at some point we need to move on from this kind of love because it will not be mentally healthy and cause emotional stress. I was lucky because we are separated after high school, even though we went to the same college for a short period of time albeit different courses, so there wasn't much chance for interaction between us. So that forced me to focus my energy on other things and other people who is gay like me.

 

I wish you can move on from this infatuation in 2020 and that you won't be hurt badly from it like some others have. 

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Guest Klairz
10 minutes ago, Guest Try and see said:

Find opportunities to swim and go to the gym with him.

 

Even if you can't have him, you can get the chance to see him in various stages of undress, especially in the changing room  :twisted:

 

Cherish him, especially since I believe he is straight, because once a guy has a girlfriend or gets married, they won't have time to text you everyday or go out with you anymore. 

Haha, I know where this is going but.... I mean he's not exactly hunky or hot to begin with (neither am I), but thats one element/something about him I love so much. That's he's normal and all, I just want to be around him every time. I also dread the day he finds his a girlfriend, which means I will naturally be forgotten/left behind... I really cherish him alot, even friends around us tease that I am biased towards him, like I'll fetch him around and run errands, send him back, buy him tech stuff etc. (none of which was asked by him) I feel that I can give/provide him anything he wants (as long as I can afford) even if it means going out of my way... Sigh, I hope I've not fallen too deep into the pit

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Guest Klairz
7 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

What you feel for someone, be it infatuation or love, we've all experienced it at some point in our lives that feeling of unrequited love. In high school, I used to be in love with my classmate of 4 years. He's like big brother I never had and always friendly towards me even though I was very timid and shy to talk to new classmates in our first year. But at some point we need to move on from this kind of love because it will not be mentally healthy and cause emotional stress. I was lucky because we are separated after high school, even though we went to the same college for a short period of time albeit different courses, so there wasn't much chance for interaction between us. So that forced me to focus my energy on other things and other people who is gay like me.

 

I wish you can move on from this infatuation in 2020 and that you won't be hurt badly from it like some others have. 

Thanks for sharing, I also hope for the best way forward which is to move on... But easier said than done, I've been distracting myself with other things like work, attending courses etc. Hope it'll turn out better in 2020 !

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4 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

What you feel for someone, be it infatuation or love, we've all experienced it at some point in our lives that feeling of unrequited love. In high school, I used to be in love with my classmate of 4 years. He's like big brother I never had and always friendly towards me even though I was very timid and shy to talk to new classmates in our first year. But at some point we need to move on from this kind of love because it will not be mentally healthy and cause emotional stress. I was lucky because we are separated after high school, even though we went to the same college for a short period of time albeit different courses, so there wasn't much chance for interaction between us. So that forced me to focus my energy on other things and other people who is gay like me.

 

I wish you can move on from this infatuation in 2020 and that you won't be hurt badly from it like some others have. 

 

True.. It's better not to play with fire... Cherish the good times you have with him. You could test water with him but the consequences could  or could not be dire.. if he's receptive, good for you!! If he's negative, he will avoid you like plague or despise you thereafter... You need to weigh your options whether to take this relationship further..

 

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7 minutes ago, Guest Klairz said:

Haha, I know where this is going but.... I mean he's not exactly hunky or hot to begin with (neither am I), but thats one element/something about him I love so much. That's he's normal and all, I just want to be around him every time. I also dread the day he finds his a girlfriend, which means I will naturally be forgotten/left behind... I really cherish him alot, even friends around us tease that I am biased towards him, like I'll fetch him around and run errands, send him back, buy him tech stuff etc. (none of which was asked by him) I feel that I can give/provide him anything he wants (as long as I can afford) even if it means going out of my way... Sigh, I hope I've not fallen too deep into the pit

 

Oh, you have to be very careful, cos you are making the same mistake I made in my younger days - investing too much in a one-sided friendship with a straight guy.

 

Firstly, stop all presents and gifts and free stuff. Then stop running errands for him (just say you're busy). Slowly pull yourself away from him.

 

The rule is: don't do anything special for him what you won't do for your other friends. 

 

If not, if this goes on, you will get burnt very badly once he gets a girlfriend.

 

Take care!!

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1 hour ago, Guest Klairz said:

I've been reading BW for a while now and I feel this is kinda weird, but I thought I should open up my feelings (at least online) that I feel that I fancy a guy who is 9 years younger than me. We are pretty close (or at least i think!) we text each other, mostly about sports-related stuff, tech-stuff and also about mutual friends (aka gossiping). I really enjoy his company and texting almost every day. I know deep down it's one-sided unrequited love, but I still hope one day we can be closer than good friends/buddies (I'm not sure if this is possible). I've never really felt like this towards another guy, although I know I will not end up getting married with a woman. There were a few occasions where we traveled overseas (in a group) and I snuggled to sleep on the same bed as him (No other intentions) just to see him fall asleep with his cute boyish face under the dim light. He thinks that is "annoying" but still let me on his bed anyways. I'll also admire his nice smooth skin from afar, each time wanting to feel it with my own hands. I will tell myself inside that this boy deserves a good girl instead of a perverted man like me who likes guys. We know each other some time now, I really like him so much but I feel like each time I think of us ever being together, I die a little inside. He may or may not know I have "special" feelings for him (more than a friend) Sometimes I feel who we really love should not be based on whether he/she is a guy/girl😔Sorry for the long post, but I feel that it's a new year and I need to get this off my chest, welcome all comments! Happy 2020 everyone !

 

First thing first, is he gay ?

 

Don't read and response to guests' post

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3 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

 

Oh, you have to be very careful, cos you are making the same mistake I made in my younger days - investing too much in a one-sided friendship with a straight guy.

 

Firstly, stop all presents and gifts and free stuff. Then stop running errands for him (just say you're busy). Slowly pull yourself away from him.

 

The rule is: don't do anything special for him what you won't do for your other friends. 

 

If not, if this goes on, you will get burnt very badly once he gets a girlfriend.

 

Take care!!

Totally agree. I also once did something similar. Unless something is possible if not, it is not worth.

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Someone told me his 27 yrs younger bf is sincerely in love with him.

 

I ask with your what? 

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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6 minutes ago, bigdanbeam said:

I thought  you believed  in true love? 🤭

 

I  do.

 

Just not between them.

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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Guest Klairz
4 hours ago, LeanMature said:

 

First thing first, is he gay ?

 

I'm pretty sure he's straight, has an ex-gf but they are no longer in contact. He sort thinks I "may" be gay, but as a decoy I do talk about girls openly between us, that's just in case he may be homophobic. We casually talk about his ex every now and then, I can tell that he still loves her deeply as the way he described their past romance only make my heart even more fond of him. I would imagine all the happy times we could spend together - like a silent film playing in my own head 😓

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Guest Klairz
4 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

 

Oh, you have to be very careful, cos you are making the same mistake I made in my younger days - investing too much in a one-sided friendship with a straight guy.

 

Firstly, stop all presents and gifts and free stuff. Then stop running errands for him (just say you're busy). Slowly pull yourself away from him.

 

The rule is: don't do anything special for him what you won't do for your other friends. 

 

If not, if this goes on, you will get burnt very badly once he gets a girlfriend.

 

Take care!!

 

The presents and stuff is purely from me, without him demanding any of it, sometimes he even strongly rejects them but give in eventually. Because I know he will use them and it will help him in his daily life. I do not expect anything in return (favours, gifts, sex etc.) but I just want him to be happy. I know I should stop it ASAP, I will try to taper off slowly in 2020, that's the best way out for me I guess ... Thanks again 

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8 hours ago, Guest Klairz said:

I've been reading BW for a while now and I feel this is kinda weird, but I thought I should open up my feelings (at least online) that I feel that I fancy a guy who is 9 years younger than me. We are pretty close (or at least i think!) we text each other, mostly about sports-related stuff, tech-stuff and also about mutual friends (aka gossiping). I really enjoy his company and texting almost every day. I know deep down it's one-sided unrequited love, but I still hope one day we can be closer than good friends/buddies (I'm not sure if this is possible). I've never really felt like this towards another guy, although I know I will not end up getting married with a woman. There were a few occasions where we traveled overseas (in a group) and I snuggled to sleep on the same bed as him (No other intentions) just to see him fall asleep with his cute boyish face under the dim light. He thinks that is "annoying" but still let me on his bed anyways. I'll also admire his nice smooth skin from afar, each time wanting to feel it with my own hands. I will tell myself inside that this boy deserves a good girl instead of a perverted man like me who likes guys. We know each other some time now, I really like him so much but I feel like each time I think of us ever being together, I die a little inside. He may or may not know I have "special" feelings for him (more than a friend) Sometimes I feel who we really love should not be based on whether he/she is a guy/girl😔Sorry for the long post, but I feel that it's a new year and I need to get this off my chest, welcome all comments! Happy 2020 everyone !

9 years younger only. Try yr luck man

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9 hours ago, Guest yssong said:

go for it dude my bf is younger then me 15 years

 

8 hours ago, Guest Cutie for Cutie said:

Pervert.:whistle:

 

Pervert???

 

My wife was 4 years younger than me, my boyfriends were all about 20 years younger.  There is NO perversion in that,  it is just what attracts you.

 

You may qualify to be a priest in a religion where homosexuality is perversion...   or join the staff of City Harvest Church  :lol:

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Guest No Regret

Don't live life with regret. If you love or like someone tell him. Otherwise you will regret for your whole life even whwn the time before you pass away.

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18 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

What you feel for someone, be it infatuation or love, we've all experienced it at some point in our lives that feeling of unrequited love. In high school, I used to be in love with my classmate of 4 years. He's like big brother I never had and always friendly towards me even though I was very timid and shy to talk to new classmates in our first year. But at some point we need to move on from this kind of love because it will not be mentally healthy and cause emotional stress. I was lucky because we are separated after high school, even though we went to the same college for a short period of time albeit different courses, so there wasn't much chance for interaction between us. So that forced me to focus my energy on other things and other people who is gay like me.

 

I wish you can move on from this infatuation in 2020 and that you won't be hurt badly from it like some others have. 

 

Maybe he cant meet you oftenly because of his stern and strict family and that he needs to be at home on time..i am sure he did tried to lie to his parents to spend longer hours with you in the classrooms...

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Chat with him and just keep in touch with him. Anything can transpire, regardless of the age difference. For some reasons, i'm also getting interested in people 2 decades younger than me now. It just happens, and not a deliberate choice. Even if it don't work out at the end, at least you have given it a good shot, and hopefully it will be a sweet experience for both of you. 

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19 hours ago, Guest Klairz said:

I'm pretty sure he's straight, has an ex-gf but they are no longer in contact. He sort thinks I "may" be gay, but as a decoy I do talk about girls openly between us, that's just in case he may be homophobic. We casually talk about his ex every now and then, I can tell that he still loves her deeply as the way he described their past romance only make my heart even more fond of him. I would imagine all the happy times we could spend together - like a silent film playing in my own head 😓

 

Then go no further if he is straight. No longer çontact ex-gf doesn't mean he want sex with gay. If you persist, you might even lose the friendship.

Don't read and response to guests' post

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On 1/2/2020 at 12:11 PM, Guest Klairz said:

What should I do? I Really like a guy 9 years younger than me...

 

poster1239.jpg

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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1 hour ago, fab said:

 

poster1239.jpg

 

TS is just someone with a big crush on a guy 9 years younger than him and on someone potentially straight. It's not as if he is the first one to go through that. Your reactions so big and so many for what? He hitting on your bf huh? 

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30 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

 

TS is just someone with a big crush on a guy 9 years younger than him and on someone potentially straight. It's not as if he is the first one to go through that. Your reactions so big and so many for what? He hitting on your bf huh? 

 

At least in his 30s.

Still so childish 

Lust a young straight .

鍾意就好,理佢男定女

 

never argue with the guests. let them bark all they want.

 

结缘不结

不解缘

 

After I have said what I wanna say, I don't care what you say.

 

看穿不说穿

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Guest Klairz
19 hours ago, Guest No Regret said:

Don't live life with regret. If you love or like someone tell him. Otherwise you will regret for your whole life even whwn the time before you pass away.

Half of me don't mind keeping this to myself even until I pass on. I would not want to risk outing myself to him, especially when we're in the same group of friends. But I will really think hard tonight...

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Guest Klairz
10 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

Chat with him and just keep in touch with him. Anything can transpire, regardless of the age difference. For some reasons, i'm also getting interested in people 2 decades younger than me now. It just happens, and not a deliberate choice. Even if it don't work out at the end, at least you have given it a good shot, and hopefully it will be a sweet experience for both of you. 

I totally agree, it isn't a deliberate choice for me to fall for a str guy and/or so much younger than me. In fact, me liking guys isn't a deliberate choice. I actually enjoy every moment with him now, during outings, meals etc. each time we meet, I secretly melt inside, I am actually contented the way this is until we eventually part ways... I heard he may eventually pursue his studies abroad this year, that might be a good "wake up" call for me... I hope

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Guest Klairz
3 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

 

TS is just someone with a big crush on a guy 9 years younger than him and on someone potentially straight. It's not as if he is the first one to go through that. Your reactions so big and so many for what? He hitting on your bf huh? 

Thanks for sticking up for me, I'm not too bothered with such comments as they are in no way constructive. This is indeed a first time liking a guy so much younger, I just wanted to get some views and opinions from you guys, and what should I do. I've also considered almost all options listed... I guess when "Love" hit me, it hit really hard!

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Guest Klairz
2 hours ago, fab said:

 

At least in his 30s.

Still so childish 

Lust a young straight .

 

Sorry smarty pants, your assumption is wrong, I'm not 30 yet - but that doesn't mean my thoughts and actions are childish. Childish in this case maybe, I suppose but don't we all have a part of us inside or even during a chapter of our life when we are like that?

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On 1/2/2020 at 12:11 PM, Guest Klairz said:

I've been reading BW for a while now and I feel this is kinda weird, but I thought I should open up my feelings (at least online) that I feel that I fancy a guy who is 9 years younger than me. We are pretty close (or at least i think!) we text each other, mostly about sports-related stuff, tech-stuff and also about mutual friends (aka gossiping). I really enjoy his company and texting almost every day. I know deep down it's one-sided unrequited love, but I still hope one day we can be closer than good friends/buddies (I'm not sure if this is possible). I've never really felt like this towards another guy, although I know I will not end up getting married with a woman. There were a few occasions where we traveled overseas (in a group) and I snuggled to sleep on the same bed as him (No other intentions) just to see him fall asleep with his cute boyish face under the dim light. He thinks that is "annoying" but still let me on his bed anyways. I'll also admire his nice smooth skin from afar, each time wanting to feel it with my own hands. I will tell myself inside that this boy deserves a good girl instead of a perverted man like me who likes guys. We know each other some time now, I really like him so much but I feel like each time I think of us ever being together, I die a little inside. He may or may not know I have "special" feelings for him (more than a friend) Sometimes I feel who we really love should not be based on whether he/she is a guy/girl😔Sorry for the long post, but I feel that it's a new year and I need to get this off my chest, welcome all comments! Happy 2020 everyone !

Large age gap is not fearful but gossips are (人言可畏). If one decides to pursue someone much younger (or much older) than him, he must be confident enough to withstand all the stares and criticisms.

Think carefully and then follow your heart.

All the best, Guest Klairz.

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On 1/2/2020 at 12:11 PM, Guest Klairz said:

I've been reading BW for a while now and I feel this is kinda weird, but I thought I should open up my feelings (at least online) that I feel that I fancy a guy who is 9 years younger than me. We are pretty close (or at least i think!) we text each other, mostly about sports-related stuff, tech-stuff and also about mutual friends (aka gossiping). I really enjoy his company and texting almost every day. I know deep down it's one-sided unrequited love, but I still hope one day we can be closer than good friends/buddies (I'm not sure if this is possible). I've never really felt like this towards another guy, although I know I will not end up getting married with a woman. There were a few occasions where we traveled overseas (in a group) and I snuggled to sleep on the same bed as him (No other intentions) just to see him fall asleep with his cute boyish face under the dim light. He thinks that is "annoying" but still let me on his bed anyways. I'll also admire his nice smooth skin from afar, each time wanting to feel it with my own hands. I will tell myself inside that this boy deserves a good girl instead of a perverted man like me who likes guys. We know each other some time now, I really like him so much but I feel like each time I think of us ever being together, I die a little inside. He may or may not know I have "special" feelings for him (more than a friend) Sometimes I feel who we really love should not be based on whether he/she is a guy/girl😔Sorry for the long post, but I feel that it's a new year and I need to get this off my chest, welcome all comments! Happy 2020 everyone !

I wish I have a guy nine years older than me, having crush on me haha. I will so gonna make you mine *evil grin*

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Someone i met at work 12 years ago - we hit it off well like long-lost brothers.

Enjoyed every moment i spent with him and the bias you guys mention was inevitable.

I was visibly defending him and treating him better despite of my impartial reputation in the circle of friends.

Everyone around us and his then-wife-to-be sensed a bromance ongoing.

After his marriage, it was time to wake up from the dream. 

Something happened and we drifted apart.

Yet last year, we met up a few times -we realized both of us changed but the magical feeling of being each others' soulmate remains.

Guess not all forms of love must end in possession - you feel happy as long as you know the other person is doing great.

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On 1/2/2020 at 12:11 PM, Guest Klairz said:

I've been reading BW for a while now and I feel this is kinda weird, but I thought I should open up my feelings (at least online) that I feel that I fancy a guy who is 9 years younger than me. We are pretty close (or at least i think!) we text each other, mostly about sports-related stuff, tech-stuff and also about mutual friends (aka gossiping). I really enjoy his company and texting almost every day. I know deep down it's one-sided unrequited love, but I still hope one day we can be closer than good friends/buddies (I'm not sure if this is possible). I've never really felt like this towards another guy, although I know I will not end up getting married with a woman. There were a few occasions where we traveled overseas (in a group) and I snuggled to sleep on the same bed as him (No other intentions) just to see him fall asleep with his cute boyish face under the dim light. He thinks that is "annoying" but still let me on his bed anyways. I'll also admire his nice smooth skin from afar, each time wanting to feel it with my own hands. I will tell myself inside that this boy deserves a good girl instead of a perverted man like me who likes guys. We know each other some time now, I really like him so much but I feel like each time I think of us ever being together, I die a little inside. He may or may not know I have "special" feelings for him (more than a friend) Sometimes I feel who we really love should not be based on whether he/she is a guy/girl😔Sorry for the long post, but I feel that it's a new year and I need to get this off my chest, welcome all comments! Happy 2020 everyone !


Don’t. 

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Guest Klairz
17 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

My bf is 9 years older than me too, it's totally possible 

 

That's heartening to know! But I guess he must be into guys as well for that to be possible 🤩

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2 hours ago, Guest Klairz said:

 

That's heartening to know! But I guess he must be into guys as well for that to be possible 🤩

 

How would you feel and react if there is a guy who is 9 years older fancy you ?  Would you give him a chance to be your bf ?

Don't read and response to guests' post

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Guest Klairz
1 hour ago, LeanMature said:

 

How would you feel and react if there is a guy who is 9 years older fancy you ?  Would you give him a chance to be your bf ?


I know this age gap isn’t normal, but yes I will consider. Of course if the older guy is genuine, passionate, smart and funny, And really enjoys my company, no doubt I’ll try to make things work out between us, unfortunately this isn’t the case 😳 

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Guest Klairz
1 hour ago, Think Of Others said:

If the guy has nice personality and good character, the 9-yr age difference does not matter really. So yes to your second question. 🤗😆


You’re really open-minded and have a wonderful perspective to look at things. All I hope now is for things to work out pleasant for me 🥰

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IMHO, this "normal age gap" ideology doesn't really apply to PLUs. 喜欢就是喜欢咯。Unless you want a bf to show off.

I am thinking if a "50yo Chuan Do" holding hand with a 40yo dude, is there anything so inappropriate?

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Guest Klairz
31 minutes ago, Oishii said:

IMHO, this "normal age gap" ideology doesn't really apply to PLUs. 喜欢就是喜欢咯。Unless you want a bf to show off.

I am thinking if a "50yo Chuan Do" holding hand with a 40yo dude, is there anything so inappropriate?


If you just take a look around your circle of friends and family, regardless of PLU or heterosexual relationships, it’s more unlikely to find such “big” age gap. Yes I’ve confessed that I just like him 😓

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Guest Neh Neh
4 hours ago, Guest Klairz said:


If you just take a look around your circle of friends and family, regardless of PLU or heterosexual relationships, it’s more unlikely to find such “big” age gap. Yes I’ve confessed that I just like him 😓

Do share how you confess your strong feeling to him.

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Guest Klairz
19 hours ago, Guest Neh Neh said:

Do share how you confess your strong feeling to him.


Sorry, what I meant is that I’ve confessed online here to you guys 😖 not in person, I think I’ll never have the guts to do it 😔 I can’t lose him as a friend 😞

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Guest Klairz
1 hour ago, sam8899 said:

9 year age gap is nothing out of the ordinary, particularly among gay guys.

I wouldn't bat an eyelid.

19 years, or 29 years, then really have to think hard


That’s nice to hear, he may not even like me romantically. But for sure we are quite close, as friends - that I can say 🥰 We’ve just met up earlier this afternoon for a wonderful lunch. How I wish time would stand still during those moments 😕

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