Do you mind going out with older guy?

[Steve5380]

If old is good,  then older should be better,  no?

How about people in their 70s?  Isn't this a treat?  

[fab]

18 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

If old is good,  then older should be better,  no?

How about people in their 70s?  Isn't this a treat?  

 

70s is best with 90s.

 

70s will be the babies. 

[Steve5380]

3 minutes ago, fab said:

 

70s is best with 90s.

 

70s will be the babies. 

 

70s with 90s is too close to your declared maximum of 17 years.

 

If in my 70s my ideal match are those in their 30s,  in my 90s I might accept those in their 40s, 

but only the ones in good shape.

[fab]

10 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

70s with 90s is too close to your declared maximum of 17 years.

 

If in my 70s my ideal match are those in their 30s,  in my 90s I might accept those in their 40s, 

but only the ones in good shape.

 

Hopefully your ideal match don't think like you.

 

Good luck.

[Guest Uncle2]

3 hours ago, fab said:

 

70s is best with 90s.

 

70s will be the babies. 

It's funny, I was fucked by someone I thought he's in the 40s. Then he said he's almost 60, almost my same age. He thought I was 40s too.

 

If I'm really in my 40s, and my fucker is 20s, then I'm considered DOM. Now I'm 60s, and I chase 40s, it's uncle chasing uncle. Some people call that uncle lesbianism, like it's against some kind of gay law, LOL instead of DOM.

[Guest Uncle2]

3 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

70s with 90s is too close to your declared maximum of 17 years.

 

If in my 70s my ideal match are those in their 30s,  in my 90s I might accept those in their 40s, 

but only the ones in good shape.

Turn that around, those in their 90s will not be interested in you in your 70s LOL. Never mind those in their 30s.

Your ageism bites both ways. I know you'll argue that it's your freedom of choice, but you're spreading it around like the coronavirus.

[Steve5380]

9 hours ago, Guest Uncle2 said:

Turn that around, those in their 90s will not be interested in you in your 70s LOL. Never mind those in their 30s.

Your ageism bites both ways. I know you'll argue that it's your freedom of choice, but you're spreading it around like the coronavirus.

 

I think you have it backwards.  Ageism is dislike, discrimination against the old.   I am instead a defender of the old,  BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT TO BE OLD IS!  

The ignorant young  (because many young people are not ignorant) think that to be old is to be decrepit, disabled, bitter, unattractive,  and I know from personal experience that this is not true. You can read from plenty of guys who like to be with those in their 50s and 60s.   I simply suggest that this can also extend to the 70s nowadays, since we take better care of ourselves.  

[Guest Guest Guest]

Age gap not a problem. I have been go out with my bf for meals, shopping. And our age gap is 20+ apart. I don't see anything wrong with that. So long as the person you go out with can click well. Who cares what others think or say. I always have breakfast with my bf and always bump into my eldest aunt. Nothing to be shy

[Guest Guest.....]

On 1/30/2020 at 10:59 PM, LeanMature said:

 

You shouldn't worry about what others think or judge. If you bump into a relative, just said he is your colleague. If you bump into a colleague, just said he is your relative. Make sense right ?

I agree totally. My aunt always bump into me and my bf when we have breakfast together. Our age gap is 29 years apart. This does not stop us from meeting up for meals or go shopping. 

[LeanMature]

On 2/2/2020 at 10:42 AM, Steve5380 said:

If old is good,  then older should be better,  no?

How about people in their 70s?  Isn't this a treat?  

 

You have to ask, better for what ?  

[LeanMature]

On 1/31/2020 at 12:29 AM, repressednerd said:

 

When I was slightly younger, I got very turned on seeing an older man moan as he shot his load on my face. Especially those men in their 40s. 

 

One of them was the kind who look like a refined teacher, but turned into beast once horny. He had one of the best cum quality. 

 

That is what it mean by: 衣冠禽兽.  What do you mean best cum quality ? 

[fab]

57 minutes ago, LeanMature said:

 

That is what it mean by: 衣冠禽兽.  What do you mean best cum quality ? 

 

多汁浓绸又鲜甜?

Edited February 3, 2020 by fab

[Steve5380]

9 hours ago, LeanMature said:

 

You have to ask, better for what ?  

 

For whatever old is good.

[repressednerd]

10 hours ago, LeanMature said:

 

That is what it mean by: 衣冠禽兽.  What do you mean best cum quality ? 

 

Cum a lot on his tanned brownish skin and the colour of his cum was opaque white with a good smell. 

[LeanMature]

11 hours ago, repressednerd said:

 

Cum a lot on his tanned brownish skin and the colour of his cum was opaque white with a good smell. 

 

And he was in his 40s ?

[Guest Mary]

Is the virus not the nationality 

 

Is the person you are going out with not his AGE 

[fab]

On 2/2/2020 at 2:52 PM, Guest Uncle2 said:

Turn that around, those in their 90s will not be interested in you in your 70s LOL. Never mind those in their 30s.

Your ageism bites both ways. I know you'll argue that it's your freedom of choice, but you're spreading it around like the coronavirus.

 

On 2/3/2020 at 12:47 AM, Steve5380 said:

 

I think you have it backwards.  Ageism is dislike, discrimination against the old.   I am instead a defender of the old,  BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT TO BE OLD IS!  

The ignorant young  (because many young people are not ignorant) think that to be old is to be decrepit, disabled, bitter, unattractive,  and I know from personal experience that this is not true. You can read from plenty of guys who like to be with those in their 50s and 60s.   I simply suggest that this can also extend to the 70s nowadays, since we take better care of ourselves.  

 

I reckon he meant u r ageist cos u only go young ones but not old ones.

 

 

[fab]

On 2/2/2020 at 2:44 PM, Guest Uncle2 said:

It's funny, I was fucked by someone I thought he's in the 40s. Then he said he's almost 60, almost my same age. He thought I was 40s too.

 

If I'm really in my 40s, and my fucker is 20s, then I'm considered DOM. Now I'm 60s, and I chase 40s, it's uncle chasing uncle. Some people call that uncle lesbianism, like it's against some kind of gay law, LOL instead of DOM.

 

Lol.

 

That's y I said,  if u go for older ones, instead of the DOM, u will be the baby.

[Guest Guest]

On 2/2/2020 at 2:44 PM, Guest Uncle2 said:

It's funny, I was fucked by someone I thought he's in the 40s. Then he said he's almost 60, almost my same age. He thought I was 40s too.

 

If I'm really in my 40s, and my fucker is 20s, then I'm considered DOM. Now I'm 60s, and I chase 40s, it's uncle chasing uncle. Some people call that uncle lesbianism, like it's against some kind of gay law, LOL instead of DOM.

 

Don't worry lah ... the term "DOM" on BW is reserved for one particular member here who don't shower for days. If he is not a DOM, nobody can be a DOM. 

[Zomgzmg]

I prefer older guys because they are more mature in their thinking and is also more financially stable. Plus, they've got moves in bed 😛

[Guest Putty Lip]

3 hours ago, Zomgzmg said:

I prefer older guys because they are more mature in their thinking and is also more financially stable. Plus, they've got moves in bed 😛

There is no clear evidence to support your case.

[Guest Uncle2]

4 hours ago, fab said:

 

Lol.

 

That's y I said,  if u go for older ones, instead of the DOM, u will be the baby.

Yeah, I was amused watching the DOM molesting the younger guys at the TV room.

When he sat beside me, I still felt safe since I'm older than him.

 

Then he placed his hand on my thigh. I was thinking, "Hello bro, that's my move okay, how dare you." Now I the hunter becomes the hunted. I was thinking, so salah leh.

 

When he started that tingling touching with his fingers, " that's another one of my moves what. DOMs kungfu all from the same master issit?

Oh no, I'm getting hard..."

 

He flipped my towel exposing my hardon. I run. Haha, got guys watching so paiseh.

 

 

[Zomgzmg]

51 minutes ago, Guest Putty Lip said:

There is no clear evidence to support your case.

Lol what do you want me to say? Based on my experience the older ones had more to talk about (their life, politics etc), while the younger ones were more surface level. The former was also more into turning you on in bed and had more $ to pay for things. 

[RetailTwink]

I don't mind as long as we can pretend to be coworkers in public.

[Guest guest]

35-40 year old already consider old people? Then beyond 40s how? This is sad.

[Steve5380]

9 hours ago, fab said:

 

 

I reckon he meant u r ageist cos u only go young ones but not old ones.

 

 

 

Since when is this ageism?   Different activities have different optimum ages.

 

To choose the headmaster of a Buddhist monastery you go for the old ones, not for the young ones.

Also to promote to judges one will choose the older more experienced jurists, not the young.

To unload sacks of potatoes from ships one will choose the young men, not the old.

To enlist in your armed forces your government chooses young men, not old ones.

 

If for sex one is attracted to the young men more than the older ones, what is wrong with this?

 

 

9 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

 

Don't worry lah ... the term "DOM" on BW is reserved for one particular member here who don't shower for days. If he is not a DOM, nobody can be a DOM. 

 

Yes, you are this hiding member or non-member.  "Guest Guest" aka "Dirty Auntie".   They don't call you dirty for nothing.  Being so negative you must be old and defeated.  And you probably are a man.  So DOM fits you perfectly

 

[repressednerd]

13 hours ago, LeanMature said:

 

And he was in his 40s ?

 

Mid-40s

[fab]

32 minutes ago, Shay said:

For example: I am 42 years old and still ...:.. guys in early 20 ask me out for coffee

 

 age is not an issue 

 

I m sure many early 20s or teenagers would still gladly ask 53 yo CD out too.

[fab]

3 hours ago, Shay said:

whats cd? 

 

Chuan do 

[Guest Uncle2]

On 2/4/2020 at 1:00 PM, fab said:

 

 

I reckon he meant u r ageist cos u only go young ones but not old ones.

 

 

Steve5380 is in his 70s. If he can still find younger guys then power to him. He deserves it because seeing how ah peks are treated in the saunas, he's certainly exceptional and a good counter to other ageists.

 

It's that he kept harping on it and it's his attitudes that sucks. He's right that this is all about sex and a 30yo guy is certainly much more desirable than someone his own age. Even those ah peks themselves prefer someone younger. But we all don't spread this toxic attitude around like the coronavirus. Sometimes be kind and give a little.

 

But since we are talking about things like naughty sex and saunas that are not politically correct, we don't really have the moral high ground to demand some charitable kindness. It's up to the individual giving from his heart for karma or whatever. Hopeful, the bad attitude virus don't spread and make it worse.

 

I'm near 60 and I've seen here young discriminating against the old, even old discriminating the old, young like old, old like old. There's someone for everyone. 

 

I hate to think someone younger giving me charity. If he's telling me directly, I'll thank him and say no thanks. Of course there are some ah peks who don't mind. I don't speak for them. 

 

Even if I give charity sex at Shogun, I don't know what's the right approach since I don't even know whether the ah pek also thought he's giving me charity sex LOL. All I could do is if he's not pushy, I'll pretend to leave the chance for him.

 

I know I'm no Chuando myself but Chinese saying our body is nothing more than a 臭皮囊 bag of stinky skin, if it gives him pleasures, then let him have it for a moment, as long as there's nothing wrong with him. I'm not going to lose a gram of flesh so why not. And I'm not thinking of getting a gold star for it either. Just be kind to each other to make it a better place for all of us old gays is enough. A better place also for me when I'm 70s or 80s. Karma also works in indirect ways.

[Steve5380]

10 hours ago, Guest Uncle2 said:

Steve5380 is in his 70s. If he can still find younger guys then power to him. He deserves it because seeing how ah peks are treated in the saunas, he's certainly exceptional and a good counter to other ageists.

 

It's that he kept harping on it and it's his attitudes that sucks. He's right that this is all about sex and a 30yo guy is certainly much more desirable than someone his own age. Even those ah peks themselves prefer someone younger. But we all don't spread this toxic attitude around like the coronavirus. Sometimes be kind and give a little.

 

But since we are talking about things like naughty sex and saunas that are not politically correct, we don't really have the moral high ground to demand some charitable kindness. It's up to the individual giving from his heart for karma or whatever. Hopeful, the bad attitude virus don't spread and make it worse.

 

I'm near 60 and I've seen here young discriminating against the old, even old discriminating the old, young like old, old like old. There's someone for everyone. 

 

I hate to think someone younger giving me charity. If he's telling me directly, I'll thank him and say no thanks. Of course there are some ah peks who don't mind. I don't speak for them. 

 

Even if I give charity sex at Shogun, I don't know what's the right approach since I don't even know whether the ah pek also thought he's giving me charity sex LOL. All I could do is if he's not pushy, I'll pretend to leave the chance for him.

 

I know I'm no Chuando myself but Chinese saying our body is nothing more than a 臭皮囊 bag of stinky skin, if it gives him pleasures, then let him have it for a moment, as long as there's nothing wrong with him. I'm not going to lose a gram of flesh so why not. And I'm not thinking of getting a gold star for it either. Just be kind to each other to make it a better place for all of us old gays is enough. A better place also for me when I'm 70s or 80s. Karma also works in indirect ways.

 

I think that we agree more than we disagree.

 

I'm sorry if my harping on how an old man also finds younger guys sucks!  If I spread this around like an infectious disease it is because...  because I want to infect in those who are afraid of becoming old some hope that old age is not necessarily so bad.  We all see old men who are pitiful.  And by saying not necessarily I hope to give the idea that to be pitiful when old can be avoided.   I have avoided it,  and if I can do it,  so can most people.  It is just a matter of becoming aware early on,  and then making the resolution of cultivating good habits.  This is much better than having the illusion that good life ends at 40,  and then trying to get as much fun and enjoyment before the 40s,  no matter what.

[Blogger Adam]

When I was 18, I dated the sweetest, gentlest, and most caring 30-year-old man.

 

It was the result of a whirlwind-One-Night-Stand turned romance.

 

Back in NS, I obviously had needs on weekends, and one night, through IRC, I hooked up with L.

 

I had never been intimate with anyone older than I, but my consolation was that it was one-off, so let's just get it over and done with.

 

L picked me up near my place, drove to his place, and we had the most boring sex.

 

But it was what happened after the encounter that touched me.

 

He asked if I wanted to sleep over (since I had no curfew) and because he was free the next day, he could make me breakfast then send me home.

 

I said yes.

 

That night, we snuggled.

 

Enveloped by his warmth, I felt loved.

 

It was very random, very unexpected, very chivalrous - and when you throw these elements into the mind of an 18 year old, they equate to romance. 

 

That was how I met L, and how we started.

 

To me, a relationship was simply a relationship: Never mind how L looked, how boring he was in bed, or how old he was. 

 

What mattered most was really the inside. And the chemistry we shared.

 

I was attracted to L because he was first and foremost very intellectual, and was by far the most understanding boyfriend I had (then again, I was only 18 and my first boyfriend - who was slightly younger - was an ass).

 

But even then, I was starkly aware of how different L and I were.

 

I was in NS, struggling to pay my M1 hand phone bills (and other expenses as you can imagine, since I no longer had time to tutor on the side), and although I was set to attend university after I ORD-ed, I still had no idea how my future would be. I was clueless but guiltlessly carefree. 

 

L on the other hand was an accomplished professional who works late on weekdays. He has his own place, is well-travelled, and would once in a while play the piano and serenade me on my voice mail.

 

On days when I booked out, he would wait for me at a nearby car park and drive us off for dinner.

 

Not just any dinner.

 

At nice places where I couldn't have afforded if not for him.

 

Of course that made me very uncomfortable but L insists he wants me to eat well and money, comm'on, money isn't an issue.

 

Speaking of money, L is one generous lover.

 

Watches, shoes, books were regular gifts.

 

Whenever we are together, just L and me, I felt like the happiest person on earth.

 

No thoughts of an age gap between us.

 

In fact, there was very little gap: On some weekends, I would stay over and he would want to snuggle (while I wanted to have sex) and then he would want to snuggle more (and I would want more sex).

 

He makes edible-enough brunches (I couldn't wake up early to eat breakfast), we talked, we laughed, and most importantly, we discussed.

 

L was an engaging conversationalist. He not only listens; he thinks, and he sometimes agrees and counter-argues.

 

I was very happy in that world that involved just the two us.

 

Eventually, I brought L to meet my gay best friend Stanley.

 

Stanley's words to me after our first meeting were sincere... "you're not being yourself when you're around L. You almost seem like you don't want to be yourself when you're with L."

 

Of course, I was too proud to admit back then, that Stanley was right.

 

So I shelved Stanley's insightful comments, and focused on my present with L.

 

The weekly romance, weekly trysts, weekly world of our own.

 

Until L felt it was time to take me out of his apartment to introduce me to his friends.

 

Friends of his age. Friends of similar status. Friends of similar accomplishments.

 

And I have never felt so self-aware.

 

With L's friends, I stand out like a sore thumb: The only botak head among the group (L's friends weren't old enough to be balding).

 

I was very self-conscious in the way I spoke and dressed (I constantly wore a cap but I felt it was more  to cover up my insecurities rather than my NS-botak head), while L and friends didn't seem to have to do much to look comfortable and confident.

 

Whenever I'm with them, I couldn't help but hear Stanley's words in my mind.

 

To be fair, L's friends made me feel included and at ease - but deep down, I couldn't help but feel different.

 

Inferior.

 

Un-belonged.

 

Unworthy even.

 

On some days, I even imagine how outsiders would see me and L.

 

That boy must be after his money. He must have daddy issues.

 

One day, I realised just how bad my self consciousness had led me to.

 

L and I were in a shopping mall when I spotted some of my NS friends from a distance.

 

I immediately made a U-turn, signalling Larry to follow me.

 

I told him I hated that group of friends and didn't want any form of interaction with them.

 

The truth, however, was that those were my good friends....and I wasn't ready to be spotted with L, and I didn't know how to introduce L to them.

 

Soon enough, I saw how my simple 18-year-old mind worked: I had gone from feeling the intense spark of unexpected romance with L, to feeling unworthy to his love, to feeling - and I shall say it as it is now - ashamed to be with an uncle.

 

The whole manifestation took three months.

 

I concluded that I was too immature at 18 to be in a relationship with someone older.

 

I couldn't handle it.

 

I talked to L about it.

 

It's funny how two articulate people who had no problems conveying ideas and emotions to each other, could not be on the same page to meaningfully understand and solve the issue at hand.

 

I remember L's patience with me.

 

I distinctly remember he said I thought way too much. And that I would eventually grow out of this mindset - after all, university awaits, and thereafter, I'll embark on my own career and I would eventually be seeing things from his viewpoint.

 

His words, which were meant to bring us closer, ended up drifting us further.

 

L's words were so true that it struck me.

 

We aren't on the same page to begin with. We are from two starkly different worlds.

 

That night, we ended things in L's car. The very first place where we met that fateful ONS night.

 

L and I lost touch shortly after.

 

I flew off to attend university, and for three years, I forgot about L.

 

Today, as I write this, I am heartened to realise how L had been so correct yet again.

 

I have indeed grown out of that childish mindset. I've embarked on my own career after graduation. And I am seeing this from a different viewpoint.

 

I want so much to talk to L again - not as lovers - but as friends.

 

Friends who finally have the same wisdom and maturity.

 

Oh, there must be so much to talk about.

 

Sadly, L has since changed his phone number and my multiple ttempts to reach him over the years had not been fruitful.

 

Wherever you are, Larry, I wish you well.

 

 

[Guest Fatty]

On 2/4/2020 at 9:16 PM, Guest guest said:

35-40 year old already consider old people? Then beyond 40s how? This is sad.

Dinosaur

[LeanMature]

10 minutes ago, TeiTei said:

I am now 21, currently studying IT Engineering. My partner that i met on the dating app is 43 years old. my main goal is only to get a better future, to be a fnancially stable, and secure. He helps me with my pocket money and tuition bills...

 

Upon request or voluntarily ?

[fab]

1 hour ago, TeiTei said:

I am now 21, currently studying IT Engineering. My partner that i met on the dating app is 43 years old. my main goal is only to get a better future, to be a fnancially stable, and secure. He helps me with my pocket money and tuition bills...

 

If there's no financial aid, will you still see him?

[armitage]

if both have mutual consent/interest why not haha

[Tylor]

Nope I don’t mind. In fact preferably older men more mature and experienced 

[Guest Older]

I have a sex partner in his early 70s now. 

[armitage]

7 hours ago, Tiroi said:

Do you think that a perfect sugar relationship is built on the basis of wealth and trust? The sugar relationship will be carried on under the terms of a mutually agreed upon arrangement?

 i was talking in terms of a relation between 2 beings... but if you are talking about a sugar relationship then isn't it basically wealth and trust?

[Steve5380]

13 hours ago, Jacoob said:

For me, I will only be in sugar relationships if my needs and wants are well fulfilled. I personally think it is very important to make sure that the sugar daddy has sufficient financial  to pamper his sugar baby.

 

13 hours ago, Jacoob said:

Yes, I agree with you...I believe that everything must be agreed upon before one embarks on well-defined sugar relationship...By this, the needs and wants of all parties will be well fulfilled...

 

This is a relationship of financial interest.  It is simply a variation of prostitution.

 

Before you get angry with me for mentioning prostitution,  an intimate relationship with an implicit or explicit component of payment, let me tell you that I don't find all prostitution morally objectionable.  I don't mind voluntary prostitution to achieve a positive result that otherwise would not be possible,  like going to school and getting a degree.  For some time now I have stopped passing judgment on money boys and money girls.  If at some time I decide to have fun with money boys,  like when I am old,  I will see it positively as a way of helping young persons make a living.  It will be all free choice,  his and mine 

 

[Guest Six]

8 hours ago, Tylor said:

Nope I don’t mind. In fact preferably older men more mature and experienced 

Define older men - 60, 70, 80 or beyond? 

 

While some say 35-40 is already old. 

 

 

[fab]

Age is relative.

 

Imo, any gap big enough to b dad and son, is too big.

Edited February 9, 2020 by fab

[lonelyglobe]

Young is like 40 and below

Old is like 60 and above

In between still have middle age 😊

[Steve5380]

4 hours ago, lonelyglobe said:

Young is like 40 and below

Old is like 60 and above

In between still have middle age 😊

 

Today the divisions between the age types are more flexible to adapt to the individual.  

The beginning of middle age can be between 40 and 60. 

The end of middle age can be between 65 and 80

After 75, the beginning of old age can always be 5 years after the current age 

 

[Guest waaahahahaa]

2 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Today the divisions between the age types are more flexible to adapt to the individual.  

The beginning of middle age can be between 40 and 60. 

The end of middle age can be between 65 and 80

After 75, the beginning of old age can always be 5 years after the current age 

 

40 is the old age of youth.  While 50 is the youth of old age.  by "VICTOR HUGO" 

 

 

[Kye]

it is ok as long as not too much display of affection... I go out with my daddies and uncles alot... every thing is ok... including holding hands just no lips to lips kissing... I think general public can accept. I still go out with matured uncles...

[LeanMature]

On 2/8/2020 at 11:13 PM, Tylor said:

Nope I don’t mind. In fact preferably older men more mature and experienced 

 

With or without sugar ?  Kopi siewdai ?

[fab]

2 minutes ago, LeanMature said:

 

With or without sugar ?  Kopi siewdai ?

 

Lol.

 

Too much dai will result in diabetes. 

[fab]

4 minutes ago, LeanMature said:

 

But you have to eat her fermented oyster right ?

 

Can go with wasabi and soy sauce.

[singalion]

On 1/30/2020 at 7:03 PM, Maelstorm said:

Like you are young adult going out with 35-40 old person? 

 

There is actually a lot of different aspects to be discussed:

 

1) I think for two Asian or Singaporean guys with an age gap, going out, doesn't mean much. One can be the ex-teacher colleague. I think you guys interpret too much into it and are worried what others think. As long as you don't get intimate or touchy, I would say from my experience 95% of locals would be not having any thoughts. it might be different, if you both walk along Orchard Road or another crowded place. 

 

2) There is a difference if you spot an older white guy let's say above 55y or older and a very young Asian boy, to make the matter "worse" someone with very boyish looks. Worse might be the wrong word for the lusty White guy (lol). People tend to look eventually or would be more suspicious on both of them. For both of them walking on Orchard, I was in a group of straight locals and the comments weren't very pleasing. Best in such situations might be to meet directly at the restaurant, coffee shop, food court and not to spend long time in bright display to others. I know some young locals feel offended if you ask for discretion or think you are rude, but often a bit discretion is the better way to avoid reactions or people mumbling about you. The same situation can happen when you bump into some Caucasian friends, worse if they know you never hang around with girls or ladies or never brought one along. (Oh, didn't he say some months ago he is a divorcee, do you think he is gay?" "No, but some weeks back he was even with a younger Asian man at this coffee beans near to Forum, I wouldn't wonder if..." Meaning: Meeting at crowded spots in public might be risky if you tend to be very discreet. What I noted in Singapore or Malaysia: (not that I m that old already, but sometimes even a 40s walks with a 20s Asian boy on the road:) the locals mostly look (down) at the Asian boy and not to the White guy. What we take from that: The embarrassing moment may be higher for the local boy. 

 

3) If the age gap is not so big 20s and 35y for two Asians, I don't see much problems. Having "excuses" / "explanations" ready, should be useful in such situations if anybody who knows you approaches you. "Oh, we had been neighbours some years back" ;  "Hey, hi Jia Yong, haven't seen you for a while, oh, this is Mr Tan, he  used to lecture at my university". The worst is in such scenarios if you stutter or end up with a chili crab sort of face colour. My recommendation is to have a simple explanation on hand and ready to just tell something, even if it is just a quick invention.  

 

4) From overseas escapades I actually noted, more rural areas in Malaysia or generally everywhere in Indonesia, people tend to be more innocent in thinking something "gay" as to such situations. Mostly locals are simply interested to know where you come from and proud if you visit their area. Thailand seems quite relaxed on such issues anyway. 

 

5) What I noted in Singapore on this topic: You can see that homosexuality is more "out" nowadays. People here are more aware of gays, then it has been some years ago. More people tend to "spot" you or have looks at you outside. Some years back nobody really bothered, but as the homosexuality is more prevalent in news and media, locals seem to sense something earlier nowadays.  If I sense, some locals are getting too close with too big eyes and ears open, I mean those kaypoh sort of people, who sitting next to your table stop talking and only listen to your conversation with the Asian boy trying to catch every word from your lips, I will instantly switch any critical topic and start talking things like " Oh, just a reminder, on the third part of the book, there is a shift of the vocabulary and more negative words are used in the common language of the main character, you should point every detail out and list it up for the discussion on the book in the next lecture. And please be cautious not every negative connotation can be grouped into this category..."  Most kaypohs will just turn their heads and start talking on their own matters again... 

 

6) on the age discussion: 

I don't think there are major issues if one guy is in the early 20s and the other 35y. 

It is more critical if one is in early 20s but the other above 55y or older. 

But why do you bother anyway? If you are both from the same ethnic, the older can always be a relative, you just met by accident. 

If you reflect too much on what others might think or they could assume you are gay, then you tend to behave even more suspicious. 

 

Stay calm, act normal, just continue your conversation and don't think too much. 

People in public are too busy in sharing their life on Facebook or looking what others posted anyway as if they took note of your presence...

And if you have too many fears, it just reflects negative on you personally: Start accepting you are gay and don't bother always about others. Just don't behave too "gay" like very touchy and intimate in public. 

Edited February 12, 2020 by singalion
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