Lonely Death Discussion - Kodokushi (孤独的死亡) (compiled)

[mate69]

11 hours ago, Guest guest said:

The older you get, the more difficult to find friends and maintain the close knit relationship.

 

yes this is very true 

[Steve5380]

12 hours ago, Guest guest said:

The older you get, the more difficult to find friends and maintain the close knit relationship.

 

Is this your personal experience, or are you repeating what you hear others say?

Maybe you confuse finding friends with finding fuck buddies?

 

It is very possible that a person who was very antisocial as young,  becomes more social as he grows older and more inclined to find friends.

[cutejack]

7 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Why not?  It could be worse.  You can be disgusted that you are the one who has to die,  while the surrounding friends look so rosy and healthy 

Omg..what kind of mentality...sad for u

[Steve5380]

5 hours ago, cutejack said:

Omg..what kind of mentality...sad for u

 

I am not saying that this is what I will feel when I die.  I have never died before, so it's too early to know.

And it is too early for you to know either.

[cutejack]

Just now, Steve5380 said:

 

I am not saying that this is what I will feel when I die.  I have never died before, so it's too early to know.

And it is too early for you to know either.

Dude, all die one day no matter what. Dying is not a looser or a winner. Infact better to go before others go coz life on earth is not fantastic either.

[Steve5380]

8 minutes ago, cutejack said:

Dude, all die one day no matter what. Dying is not a looser or a winner. Infact better to go before others go coz life on earth is not fantastic either.

 

Did I write that not all die sooner or later?  Life on earth not being fantastic is a POOR reason to want to go.

 

But going before others can be better.  My bf always wanted to go before I did.  And so it happened.  He rests in peace, while I have to grieve and mourn him  

[lonelyglobe]

On 6/30/2020 at 10:39 PM, Guest guest said:

The older you get, the more difficult to find friends and maintain the close knit relationship.

That is so true especially in this circle....some of the thing that's can be done:

- rent out your spare room so anything wrong at least you tenant can call an ambulance for u. 

- arrange daily delivery service like newspaper or food, so if your stuff pile up outside the door,  hopefully the delivery man do something

- weekly meeting with friends, maintain a good relations with neighbour

 

When all failed,  the last thing is go check into old folks home. 

[Steve5380]

9 minutes ago, lonelyglobe said:

That is so true especially in this circle....some of the thing that's can be done:

- rent out your spare room so anything wrong at least you tenant can call an ambulance for u. 

- arrange daily delivery service like newspaper or food, so if your stuff pile up outside the door,  hopefully the delivery man do something

- weekly meeting with friends, maintain a good relations with neighbour

 

When all failed,  the last thing is go check into old folks home. 

 

Technology comes to the rescue.

 

It won't be long before we will have some very intelligent wrist watches (some exist already)  that constantly monitor your vital signs:  blood pressure, heart beat,  possibly the oxygen level, and they have a wireless connection to a network.  If something goes wrong,  they alert a monitoring service which will call the user (subscriber), and if no answer they will alert an emergency service that will come to the home.  The watch also has an emergency button which the person can press to call this emergency service.

 

This should beat any old folks home, since it monitors the user all the time, 24/7,  and the service includes a medical record of the person which tells it what to expect.

 

[cutejack]

1 hour ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Did I write that not all die sooner or later?  Life on earth not being fantastic is a POOR reason to want to go.

 

But going before others can be better.  My bf always wanted to go before I did.  And so it happened.  He rests in peace, while I have to grieve and mourn him  

Did i write that life isnt fantastic on earth n must die?

Im answering yr mentality that dying surrounded by healthy ones is sad. 

As though dying is a sin n not time for it.🙄

[lonelyglobe]

https://www.zaobao.com.sg/znews/singapore/story20200703-1066121

[Guest Kung Hei]

On 6/29/2020 at 4:16 AM, Steve5380 said:

The Eskimos have a better system than the Japanese.

The elder go out and wander through the tundra to be eaten by the polar bears,

which in turn are killed by the people, who must eat them to survive.

 

It must be strange to eat a piece of bear breast and speculate how much of that meat is one's deceased grandma.

 

Are they relatives?

[superflawless]

Dying alone is more a problem for the living.

The dead is already dead so.... not a real problem for the deceased.

I do believe in spirits lingering on, if they are unable to move on or have deep grievances. So you might want to find a good priest to spiritually cleanse the place after detoxifying the area.

 

Some of you might think that if you have a partner or have children, you will most likely avoid this fate of dying alone too.

But I can also dig up stories of elderly spouses killing their partners or their children taking all the money, leaving the elderly vulnerable.

养儿防老? 

No longer a guarantee. 

 

I suggest building a strong network of friends and/or relatives. 

Don't be difficult to get along wit. Be easy going and build more ties within the community.

 

[Steve5380]

I had a honeybee hive rooted in an outside wall of my house for several years.  They didn't bother me.  

Until recently they found a way into my kitchen, and once there they try to go back to the open by banging against the glass of my kitchen window.  Something irritating.  So I had to call a professional bee hive relocator who removed the honeycombs and everything from my wall.  

 

I value bees as intelligent and valuable insects.  Yet they don't have a concept of what glass is and tried forever to get to the outside they saw through the glass, until they died of exhaustion.  I felt sorry for the hundred or so bees I found dead on the window seat and kitchen counter in the morning.  

 

This made me realize that we are no different from these honeybees,  and our death is not more tragic than the death of a single bee.  

[Guest Irritating]

38 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Until recently they found a way into my kitchen, and once there they try to go back to the open by banging against the glass of my kitchen window.  Something irritating..  

Why don't you just open the window and let them out?  You murderer!

[Steve5380]

1 minute ago, Guest Irritating said:

Why don't you just open the window and let them out?  You murderer!

 

Because this window in my kitchen does not open. 

[Guest Lame]

7 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Because this window in my kitchen does not open. 

Lame.  You can smash it with a chair and spare many innocent lives.

[Steve5380]

4 minutes ago, Guest Lame said:

Lame.  You can smash it with a chair and spare many innocent lives.

 

I could not have done this without hitting and murdering some of these innocent bees !

[Guest Duh!]

10 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

I could not have done this without hitting and murdering some of these innocent bees !

Let's say a swarm of hornets flew into your house looking for a kill and you have no way out except the window (that does not open),  I wonder will the window still be more precious to you then?

[Steve5380]

2 minutes ago, Guest Duh! said:

Let's say a swarm of hornets flew into your house looking for a kill and you have no way out except the window (that does not open),  I wonder will the window still be more precious to you then?

 

I usually don't invite swarms of hornets into my house,  and they have no reason to enter.   My doors of course open, and other windows too.  I could have told the bees to use the door or another window,  but...   they don't understand English.

[Guest Bumbled]

 

38 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Because this window in my kitchen does not open. 

I hope it is not bumble bees that died.  I love bumble bees.  Every morning,  I saw them hovering around my morning glory without fail. 

[Steve5380]

52 minutes ago, Guest Bumbled said:

 

I hope it is not bumble bees that died.  I love bumble bees.  Every morning,  I saw them hovering around my morning glory without fail. 

 

They were not bumblebees but honeybees, quite tame, yet I was stung a couple of times, nothing pleasant!  The ones that entered my kitchen died, but the tens of thousands removed by the beekeeper must be now happily collecting nectar somewhere else.  We NEED the honeybees!

[fly360]

So how. Euthanesia can?

[Steve5380]

On 6/27/2020 at 11:18 PM, mith said:

well, if anyone had lived a full happy life, diying alone, or with the whole village kneeling by your bedside when you die, is of no significant to me! still die. i dont believe in the afterlife, so die means the end. no need people around. the body is but just the physical body and the physical things u left behind... dead already makes no difference.

 

I don't believe in @mith (no, sorry, I mean myths) but I agree with you.  To die is something very personal, so it is not helped by having persons standing around. 

 

The population in Japan is in decline, with a 0.3% yearly reduction now.  Families have less children, and less Japanese want to marry.  This is good, a trend that should accelerate all over the world.  Population growth should also reverse to negative in America.   Nearly 8 BILLION humans is TOO TOO MUCH.  The way to achieve this is to sharply reduce births, and let us old people pass away in one way or another, but by NATURAL death.  From dust we come,  to dust we return!

[Guest Wahahahahha]

10 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 I was stung a couple of times, nothing pleasant!  

Actually, I won't blame the bees for what it did...wahahahahahaha.

[Steve5380]

29 minutes ago, Guest Wahahahahha said:

Actually, I won't blame the bees for what it did...wahahahahahaha.

 

It should be "for what THEY did".    I don't blame them either.  Every bee that stung me died from that, protecting their hive,  poor things  

[Guest Guest]

2 hours ago, Nightingale said:

 

This reminds me of the Sky Burial in Tibet where the dead are chopped into pieces and fed to vultures.

 

https://www.greattibettour.com/tibetan-culture/sky-burial.html

 

 

From what we see of your reputation here on BW, you will be feasted by rats when you die. And that's way better than what you really deserve. 

[upshot]

There is always the alternative. Suicide Forest (Yes in Japan). Come from dust. Go back to dust.

[Steve5380]

3 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

 

 

From what we see of your reputation here on BW, you will be feasted by rats when you die. And that's way better than what you really deserve. 

 

So what does he really deserve?  Hasn't he redeemed sufficient bad karma by your presence here?

[Guest Hairy Rambutan]

 

 

What are you doing to mitigate this type of ending ?

 

Live with a group of friends , the last one will be like this.

 

Live in an old folks home ?

 

Better.?

 

At the end , we all turn into liquid.

[Guest Try and See]

It is inevitable that most of gays not just BWers will die poor and alone

[Guest Guest]

On 5/28/2022 at 9:48 AM, Guest Try and See said:

It is inevitable that most of gays not just BWers will die poor and alone

 

Not necessarily.

 

Gays can be financially comfortable in their post-retirement years, if they work hard and plan their finances properly.

"Alone" is okay, as long as you are healthy and financially sound.

 

Rather, a lot of straight guys are the ones who end up poor and alone when they are older because when they were young, they didn't save, didn't have a proper career, abused their kids, cheated on their wives, splurged on women and/or drugs, made bad investments, gambled excessively, etc.

So they squander their wealth, and their wives leave them, and their kids hate them.

Then in their 60s-70s, they end up sitting alone in the coffeeshop everyday, looking at girls . . .

 

My point is being gay does not mean dying "poor and alone", just like being straight doesn't mean dying rich and surrounded by family members.

A lot depends on what you do with your youth.

[Guest dying alone is normal]

Even if u are heterosexual with kids. your kids will have their own families and move out.

u will also die alone.

 

even if u are married old couple with happy live. if u dont die together at the same time. one of them will also die alone.

we all die alone. 

i think best is go hospital and die there. so not alone haha. so its some emergency or tragic..

 

if u have a peaceful death. die in sleep. it's always die alone one whaaat.

[Steve5380]

On 5/27/2022 at 8:32 PM, Guest Hairy Rambutan said:

 

 

What are you doing to mitigate this type of ending ?

 

Live with a group of friends , the last one will be like this.

 

Live in an old folks home ?

 

Better.?

 

At the end , we all turn into liquid.

 

It is not such a bad type of ending.  It depends of what was the cause of death.

 

But to die alone and unnoticed may not be an issue for the deceased, but more for those who find him afterwards.   When we die, this may be such a relevant event that being alone or surrounded by 10 family members may not be something we notice.  It is common that old folks living with family die during the night, and nobody notices this until the morning.  So let's not be afraid of dying alone.

 

What is more important is to have means to seek help when we need it.  There are services one can contract, with a little device to call for it.  We may fall unable to get up and need to be assisted, maybe taken to an hospital, for example.  As long as we have money to pay for such service, it makes little difference if we have family, social life or not.

.

Edited May 28, 2022 by Steve5380

[Guest Hairy Crab]

They say Gays and Trans and pondans and bapoks love, just love to get up, and perform in costumes and lights and stage. 

 

No need boring school teens to come and entertain the old gay folks with tired worn routines if the chicken dance, and musical.chairs. 

 

 

Gay , akua retiress will put up a show overshadiwing everyyears NDP ar the padang. 

 

Minus the exoensive fireworks. 

 

There is so.such thing as a retired, deflated drag queen , akua.

[GachiMuchi]

Here is part 2

 

 

[G_M]

On 5/28/2022 at 9:32 AM, Guest Hairy Rambutan said:

 

What are you doing to mitigate this type of ending ?

 

Live with a group of friends , the last one will be like this.

 

Live in an old folks home ?

 

Better.?

 

At the end , we all turn into liquid.

 

Dying alone is not something that only affects the gays it is a societal issue.

I've merged with other similar thread which was discussed ealier.

[Guest Try and see]

On 5/28/2022 at 11:04 AM, Guest dying alone is normal said:

Even if u are heterosexual with kids. your kids will have their own families and move out.

u will also die alone.

 

even if u are married old couple with happy live. if u dont die together at the same time. one of them will also die alone.

we all die alone. 

i think best is go hospital and die there. so not alone haha. so its some emergency or tragic..

 

if u have a peaceful death. die in sleep. it's always die alone one whaaat.

 

We can't determine when and how we die. A lot of people who are dying don't make it in time to the hospital before they pass away.

 

Maybe one idea for those who live alone is to pass a set of your house keys to a trusted relative. So if he/she does not hear from you for a long time, they can at least check on you to make sure you are okay.

 

I always find it very sad whenever I read about elderly people who die alone in their HDB flats, and no one knew until the neighbours noticed the rotting corpse smell  😱😢

 

Yeah.

In the old days, it's really 养儿防老 (having children will protect your old age), because the children and grandchildren all stay in the same house, and take care of each other.

 

But nowadays, young couples want to have their own space, and often, especially the girl will resent having to live with her in-laws. 

 

So a lot of old couples end up living alone, and when one spouse dies, it's really very sad and lonely.

 

I ever knew a case in S'pore where this elderly widowed lady had ten adult children, and before she was discharged from the hospital, the ward staff asked which of the children could let the mother move in with them because she was very old and frail.

All ten of her children refused, and all gave the excuse that they could not accommodate the old lady because they had their own family to take care of 😢