Matured Love

[Guest Guilty one]

I have seen straights lover willing to die for love or committing silly suicide over love. Does gay people have such kind of impulsive reactions?

When I met my first bf, I almost put all my heart and soul into loving him to the extend that if he strayed away from loving me, I will be struck dumb and my mind went blank for days before living normally again. Breaking up is like waking from a long sweet dream and not quite ready to face reality.

In my mind, matured love should be the most wonderful and stable love one should ever sought to have. Thus I have special liking for guy (who is attached) in his mid 30s to late 40s. I am willing to take someone matured lover for my own consumption. It equivalent to feeling secured when a friend has warmed up his seat for me thus the seat is deemed steady and warm for great comfort.

If there are 4 seats and 5 friends, one will definitely have to fall when the music stop for them to grab their seats. Most of the time, these seats do not belong to me and I wanted to be involved in the game because of lonesome.

When I saw my friend losing weight or putting on a solenmn look because of lost love, I felt so guilty. His bf is after a good looking person like me but I am ugly beneath his sight.

I am numbed by emotional cares, attachement is no longer my cup of tea. I should give up my seat that does not belong to me and leave the scene of game.

Damaged is done but nothing can prove me non guilty. Many in the gay world will judge me worst of its kind and should be screwed by a 1000 rods and banned from being in the community. How could that be possible unless I am straight?

Will you forgive me.

Merry Christmas.

[doncoin]

All is fair in the game of love and war. :thumb:

You do what you've got to do to make you happy.

[Guest Guest]

If there are 4 seats and 5 friends, one will definitely have to fall when the music stop for them to grab their seats. Most of the time, these seats do not belong to me and I wanted to be involved in the game because of lonesome.

[Guest Lover]

I have seen straights lover willing to die for love or committing silly suicide over love. Does gay people have such kind of impulsive reactions?

Firstly, even as we remember only winners, and never thought or balanced that winning idea with the tons of losers and of losing, so we only remember the sensational and think that it is the norm.

This is typical, and a characteristic and limitation of human statistical thinking - if we can called it thinking at all - and is something much exploited by marketeers, positive thinking gurus, motivational speakers, media advertisement, the government, and so forth.

And it is the reason why we can have multimillion dollars winners in lotteries, for in every winner, there are millions of very hopeful but losing suckers.

So I wager most willingly that there are tons of straight couples that stray, eat secretly, have open relationship, etc even as you think it is the norm amongst gays.

But there is a difference: it is harder for straight couples to break up, or at least publicly and openly, especially after marriage, for, particularly, legal complications, social and, for some, religious stigma. And so the cheating is more pervasive, goes on longer, and the cover up more sophisticated. And you see less.

But what you dont see is not neccessarily absent.

What I do not know is the proportion of straight people willing to commit "silly suicide" in the population of straight relationships. But I think it will be the same or maybe even lower than amongst gay lovers.

For, and secondly, gay love is, in a sense, a purer love.

For straight people marry for political, social and economic reasons too. What proportion marry for pure unadulterated love, that I do not know.

For sure some gays do try to do a so-called LTR for these very same reasons, ie with a what's-in-it-for-me attitude and motivation (even as such motivate all human relationships), but as there is no formal legal institutions, as in marriage, it cannot stick, as a mutually obligated contractual context cannot be enforced on each other. (If there is love such contract is not only unnecessary but totally inadequate.)

And so gays are left with only carnal reasons and true love.

And if it is not carnal, then only the pure, selfless - and perhaps silly - kind of love is left behind.

When I met my first bf, I almost put all my heart and soul into loving him to the extend that if he strayed away from loving me, I will be struck dumb and my mind went blank for days before living normally again. Breaking up is like waking from a long sweet dream and not quite ready to face reality.

I rather think that if the love was indeed love, then maybe you'll be telling a different story.

From what I have seen, and thought, people mostly are in love with love itself, that is, some romantic notion, possibly picked up from movies, TV soap, own imaginations, and so on, and may live life without ever knowing what is love, but yet seeking love all the time, never learning anything from relationship to relationship: always seeking love but incapable of knowing what it is from reality and experience.

Like putting "heart and soul into loving him". What does that mean in the first place, and it is actually a circular thing, for what is love for which you are putting heart and soul? And can you name a trustworthy manual of love if anyone were to ask you where he or she can read and learn about love? Surely it cannot just be from movies and TV soap and what you imagined.

Will you forgive me.

If love will die for you willingly and on a whim and for any silly reason, what then is a little forgiveness?

Love forgives all and always. Any iota less is not love at all.