Anyone felt like there is no point to life

[Guest Why]

We study for good grades. So can get good job so can retire. Then when we retire we find things to do. 

 

What's the point and purpose of life? I can't seem to understand it. 

 

My friend who committed suicide told me before that life is about making the best of every single day. 

 

But I just feel anger, frustration, disappointment every day. I don't remember the last time I felt happy. 

 

Do you? 

 

Some people say life is about love. But most gay don't ever get to experience that. Some say life is about leaving a legacy. But who cares.. People still remember Steve job meh? I mean, I don't even remember how he look anymore. 

 

Fame? Success? Do people remember those famous and successful people in the past? 

 

I dunno. Is that why people do drugs? And crime? Cause there is no real purpose? 

 

Seems like life, for me recently, is just to make end meets. To keep a job, to get paid, so I can be worried about the future. Without actually living in the present. 

[GachiMuchi]

You might want to seek help because apparently, you are living in hell and not enjoying THE PROCESS OF LIFE.

 

It could be that you are suffering from some form of depression. 

Below are the symptoms.

 

Depression can be cured if treated early.

 

Mai tu liao. Seek help immediately.

What is depression? (click link for detail )

Symptoms

Although depression may occur only once during your life, people typically have multiple episodes. During these episodes, symptoms occur most of the day, nearly every day and may include:

• Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
• Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
• Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports
• Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
• Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
• Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain
• Anxiety, agitation or restlessness
• Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame
• Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
• Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide
• Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches

Can contact Oogachaga for help

 

 

 

 

[D.0284]

please seek professional help when needed.

Edited May 9, 2023 by D.0284

[Sweetie Pie]

People who work and work, without passion, often encounter the above depression.  Once they quitted their job, they suddently felt a sense of relief, like a new purpose found (not that they have found any) but the joy of freedom is also a purpose too?  Without spending half your daily time in office, you can use the extra time to seek meaning, to learn something, or even socialise with people in your situation.  

 

I still remember waiting for my public transport to work, before the sun rises.  By the time I knock off from work, it was already dark in the evening. I don't get the chance to see the sun.  Then I start to prepare for sleep, so that I have energy for the same routine the next day.  It was a torture, not that I love my job, but I find the time spending in office is boringly stressful, and I felt my boss is having a lot of freedom himself - suka suka leave and come and then get paid obscenely including buying expensive car, playing golf and his family members didn't have to work. 

 

After I quitted,  I felt refreshed.  I eat good, sleep well and enjoy window shopping like nobody business. Then I took art craft hobby, which I enjoyed tremendously and now nearly an expert in making miniature clay....art.  My teacher said I am expert already.

 

In my bucket list, I plan to learn baking, cooking, sewing (still got untouched future skill credit).   I may also do Youtube video by learning how to shoot and taking video (this one got a bit of income me think). 

 

In future, if possible,  I will take up part-time job, non stressful type - may be 4 hours per day or twice full day per week simple job.  The type that I can socialise in the office and then get paid,  

 

In case you do not know,  I eat very little, mostly milk and salad and a bit of chicken. My lifestyle.  I don't like to mingle with people often. I skip weekend, public holiday and daily peak hour to avoid seeing so many people.   it is my lifestyle not to get involved with Tom Dick and Harry who will give me stress, headache and very unstimulating gossip. 

 

As I wrote the above,  I am learning Malay language and Nepali language.   Once, in the middle of the night,  I tried to refurbish my furniture at home and my neighbour said "Ooi!!!  don't need to sleep ah?!!!".  The sky's the limit and I already felt so full - during unemployment and I like it.   24 hours like not enough.  I think I need help??

 

Edited May 9, 2023 by Sweetie Pie

[Guest Whywhy]

7 hours ago, Guest Why said:

We study for good grades. So can get good job so can retire. Then when we retire we find things to do. 

 

What's the point and purpose of life? I can't seem to understand it. 

 

My friend who committed suicide told me before that life is about making the best of every single day. 

 

But I just feel anger, frustration, disappointment every day. I don't remember the last time I felt happy. 

 

Do you? 

 

Some people say life is about love. But most gay don't ever get to experience that. Some say life is about leaving a legacy. But who cares.. People still remember Steve job meh? I mean, I don't even remember how he look anymore. 

 

Fame? Success? Do people remember those famous and successful people in the past? 

 

I dunno. Is that why people do drugs? And crime? Cause there is no real purpose? 

 

Seems like life, for me recently, is just to make end meets. To keep a job, to get paid, so I can be worried about the future. Without actually living in the present. 

 

Hi Why, I'm Whywhy.

 

I used to be a very motivated and hardworking person throughout my whole life.

 

I started feeling lost and demoralised 2 months ago but no apparent reasons. I should be happy instead because I found a better job. 

 

However, I feel just like you. What's the purpose of life for me? In fact, my friend asked me the same question just yesterday and I don't have the answer for him.

 

I'm quite sure I'm not depressed. Hopefully not. After doing self-reflection, I suspect it's due to the rising cost of living that slowly becomes a reality in all aspects of our lives.

 

Deep now, I could see for myself this rat race is going to get harder. Retirement is beyond reach for most people. I'm next if I'm not already one of them. Then what's the point of living. To continue chasing the deadline that is one month ago at work? Have to think twice before buying piece of chocolate in NTUC?

 

I really respect the boomers. My mum is in her 70s. She insists on continuing working at her age doing the same old job throughout her life. The pay is pathetic btw.

I don't know where she got her motivation from. The thought of going to work already made me tired. Again, I'm not a lazy person.

 

I hope you are not depressed. Just someone like myself who needs to find enough reasons or truths to keep us going.

 

Lastly, I suggest you go for a short trip. Get out of this country for a few weeks. Living in Singapore can be suffocating at times. 

 

All the best!

 

[DonsonKwa]

only advice is to hv an objective in life and work toward that.  

mixed ard with frenz & ur relatives.   dun isolate urself.  

when ur frenz hv outdoor activities join them.

when they hv social gathering like dinner or just kopi with them

that what I had done to keep myself sane & active.

of course I do faced up & down in relationship.

if u hv bros /& sisters,  do keep in good relation as u need them too.  

I am going to reach 7th decade of my life & still ok & still alone single. 

dun think so much on the negativeness of being gay.  

yes,  I do feel lonely, I going traveling,  join frenz in leisure tracking to stay physically fit

do some ad hoc part time job for some pocket money.  

that is how I survive for so many yrs of loneliness. 

 

 

 

[buddy4life]

10 hours ago, Guest Why said:

We study for good grades. So can get good job so can retire. Then when we retire we find things to do. 

 

What's the point and purpose of life? I can't seem to understand it. 

 

My friend who committed suicide told me before that life is about making the best of every single day. 

 

But I just feel anger, frustration, disappointment every day. I don't remember the last time I felt happy. 

 

Do you? 

 

Some people say life is about love. But most gay don't ever get to experience that. Some say life is about leaving a legacy. But who cares.. People still remember Steve job meh? I mean, I don't even remember how he look anymore. 

 

Fame? Success? Do people remember those famous and successful people in the past? 

 

I dunno. Is that why people do drugs? And crime? Cause there is no real purpose? 

 

Seems like life, for me recently, is just to make end meets. To keep a job, to get paid, so I can be worried about the future. Without actually living in the present. 

There is indeed no point in life!

 

Nope, there's nothing written in the stars (unless one still believes in fairy tales) or that one is ever the chosen ONE for some secret mission/grand scheme on Earth.

Maybe the point is more about being contended rather than being happy.

It being just about love is too one dimensional, scoping it too narrowly only to demoralise oneself ever so easily if one feels that he can never find love.

 

IMHO, people who do drugs voluntarily are just weak (unable to resist the temptation) and resorting to crime is just building one's own happiness on other's misfortunes, just wait till you are on the receiving end. 

It need not be about fame, success or leaving a legacy - how much fame, success and what legacy constitute a point in life? All these are relative. Who'll be the judge?

People also talk about finding the meaning in their lives but sadly, how many can actually find it? And if they find it, will they recognise it?

 

You have to CREATE the meaning/point in your life. What is your strength? Use your strength to help others. When the focus is on others and not yourself, you'll find it so much easier to achieve happiness then when you first set out to find happiness for yourself.

 

Take the first step, create your own point, happiness will come.

 

As you lay yourself to sleep every night, ask yourself, what are you contended with today, what have you done today to make yourself feel proud today. Affirm yourself. 

 

Edited May 9, 2023 by buddy4life
To elaborate

[doncoin]

I think in Singapore, there is too much focus on the grades and not the actual learning process and experience itself. That sort of takes the joy out of learning. Sure, tests are meant as a guide to the educators and yourself to have an understanding of where you are vis-a-vis your classmates and peers, and they should only serve as that, i.e. you need more time to learn and understand the concept, etc. compared to your classmates. When you are studying just for the grade itself, you don't really learn. 

 

Just know that life has its ups and downs. That is normal. You cannot be high all the time, nor will you be down all the time. Find friends and supporters who will help you ride through the waves and build the resilience to go through them when they cannot be there for you. 

 

People do drugs usually out of curiosity. Doing drugs is not so much the problem. It is the addiction to drugs that is the big problem. 

[cutejack]

When u expect too many things in life , u will get depressed and fed up. If u r employed with good salary, try saving as much as possible , set target to quit when u think u have saved enough. Don't be too greedy n thinking to become rich so n so much of money etc etc. All these will end u up in depression. 

Always be thankful that u r healthy, not born handicapped, still can work n eat , all these will make u live contended. "I am" being not straight n after my loved mum passed away. I learned my lesson in life n happy now. By God's grace. Take care.

[Steve5380]

3 hours ago, doncoin said:

I think in Singapore, there is too much focus on the grades and not the actual learning process and experience itself. That sort of takes the joy out of learning. Sure, tests are meant as a guide to the educators and yourself to have an understanding of where you are vis-a-vis your classmates and peers, and they should only serve as that, i.e. you need more time to learn and understand the concept, etc. compared to your classmates. When you are studying just for the grade itself, you don't really learn. 

 

Just know that life has its ups and downs. That is normal. You cannot be high all the time, nor will you be down all the time. Find friends and supporters who will help you ride through the waves and build the resilience to go through them when they cannot be there for you. 

 

People do drugs usually out of curiosity. Doing drugs is not so much the problem. It is the addiction to drugs that is the big problem. 

 

The strive for high grades and elite academics in Singapore always make me think of Thio Li-ann. Oxford, Harvard... blah, blah, blah.  Yet what a completely stupid malevolent woman void of decent moral standards!   Not for nothing was she despised at the New York University where she intended to teach HER views of "Human Rights",  ha ha.

 

https://www.fridae.asia/gay-news/2009/07/23/8657.thio-li-ann-cancels-visit-to-nyu-law-school-amidst-controversy

 

So high grades and elite academic references don't guarantee that a person will deserve to be desired.

 

Maybe much of the Singaporean youth should change their interest to vocational studies.   Dignity should not be equated to wearing a tie and shuffling papers for a living.  There is dignity in the contribution to society of electricians, plumbers, A/C repair technicians, mechanics in auto repair and manufacturing, masons, carpenters, welders, oil field workers, watch makers, administrators of computer systems, luthiers, piano tuners, and a lot of other activities that keep society running, without the need of fancy diplomas that may not reflect anything but ambition, time dedicated and money spent.

.

 

 

Edited May 9, 2023 by Steve5380

[Guest Why]

I'm not stressed out about life. I think I'm more burnout and jaded about it. 

 

Example the 3 NUS undergraduates who died at New Zealand. Hey at least they went camping abroad. What did I ever accomplished? 

 

Right study hard, go NUS. Dunno exchange or holiday, so luxurious can afford to fly to new Zealand to experience life. 

 

I feel more dead than them. God should have traded their lives with mine. 

 

 

 

 

 

[amuse.ed]

On 5/9/2023 at 12:46 PM, Guest Why said:

We study for good grades. So can get good job so can retire. Then when we retire we find things to do. 

 

What's the point and purpose of life? I can't seem to understand it. 

 

My friend who committed suicide told me before that life is about making the best of every single day. 

 

But I just feel anger, frustration, disappointment every day. I don't remember the last time I felt happy. 

 

Do you? 

 

Some people say life is about love. But most gay don't ever get to experience that. Some say life is about leaving a legacy. But who cares.. People still remember Steve job meh? I mean, I don't even remember how he look anymore. 

 

Fame? Success? Do people remember those famous and successful people in the past? 

 

I dunno. Is that why people do drugs? And crime? Cause there is no real purpose? 

 

Seems like life, for me recently, is just to make end meets. To keep a job, to get paid, so I can be worried about the future. Without actually living in the present. 

 

May I suggest for one to dive into the concepts of western Astrology and I-ching (whichever it's more receptive for the individual).

 

It has supported me tremendously while I am adjusting to my mental illness reclassification of Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) from Bipolar Disorder (diagnosed in 2000/2001) and numerous episodes of suicidal thoughts.

 

Both concepts allow me to better understand the 5W and 1H of my thoughts, feelings and actions. The best part is I am still discovering myself daily.

 

Life is a muse yet fulfilling.

 

Take care. 

[PlayersGroup]

If this is helpful, speak to someone. Samaritans of Singapore Helpline: 1767

 

For me, I concluded that even if there comes a time there is no purpose or cause I could devote my life to, there are others with dreams or needs whom I can help. That gives me something beyond myself to consider. 

 

I treat my life on earth as a temporary excursion in my current form, this bundle of atoms, molecules and thoughts that one day will go back to being stardust. Just enjoy the ride and make it meaningful as much as we can. 

 

 

[Guest Really??]

41 minutes ago, PlayersGroup said:

If this is helpful, speak to someone. Samaritans of Singapore Helpline: 1767

 

For me, I concluded that even if there comes a time there is no purpose or cause I could devote my life to, there are others with dreams or needs whom I can help. That gives me something beyond myself to consider. 

 

I treat my life on earth as a temporary excursion in my current form, this bundle of atoms, molecules and thoughts that one day will go back to being stardust. Just enjoy the ride and make it meaningful as much as we can. 

 

 

 

So it reinforced the idea that ones life has no purpose other than to serve others? 

 

Like your own basic need is already met. Can help other with their sufferings? 

 

Then if there is no people around to help? Then your life suddenly become meaningless again? Or are you just finding meaning in the misfortune of others? That somehow it makes me you feel better than someone else has less or is worst?? 

 

I dunno man. I really dunno

[Guest Why I'm like this?]

Maybe I'm special. 

Maybe I'm crazy. 

Maybe I'm delusional. 

 

But I truly believe that everyone is fake. 

Everyday we wake up and we put on a mask. We give ourselves a role to play. Like a game. 

 

We call ourselves student. 

We call ourselves politicians. 

We call ourselves driver. 

We call ourselves by our job. 

We call ourselves by our role. 

 

Its only when we leave that role playing world when it's off work. We embrace our true self. 

 

Our true self reveals itself from 6 pm to 12 am. 

 

So what are we really? 

 

For me? I'm a gay porn addict. I watch porn and jerk off before bed. 

 

For me? I'm also a consumer of entertainment. I watch YouTube and watch how people fake their lives on camera. 

 

Apart from dinner, porn, entertainment and games. I am nothing. 

 

[PlayersGroup]

31 minutes ago, Guest Really?? said:

 

So it reinforced the idea that ones life has no purpose other than to serve others? 

 

Like your own basic need is already met. Can help other with their sufferings? 

 

Then if there is no people around to help? Then your life suddenly become meaningless again? Or are you just finding meaning in the misfortune of others? That somehow it makes me you feel better than someone else has less or is worst?? 

 

I dunno man. I really dunno

🤷🏻‍♂️

 

 

[IkuTube]

Be a doer, not a thinker.  

The mind likes to intellectualize and it can be a problem.  When it continues to analyze and when all answers are not satisfactorily accepted, there will be no peace, no joy and no happiness.  The act to intellectualize does not guarantee wisdom nor does it help to improve the way of life.

Too much analyzing will paralyze one's way of life.  When the mind is stuck with so much time thinking and worrying, it hinders the simplest thing.  It clouds clarity.  It stops the person to focus on problem solving.  It stops the person from living.  When he stops living, he becomes the prisoner of his own stuck mind.  This is where burnout can take place and depression to set in.

The only way to solve (any) problem, in life, is to get out of it.  First, recognize the problem.  Second, accept the problem.  Third, stop the blame and take responsibility.  Fourth, find the courage (paradigm shift) to change.  

Believe that everything is possible.  What is not possible is in the lack to believe and where one continues to give excuses and making more excuses.  The more the mind resists, the more problems come.  It is good to ask, every now and then, the question – ‘What is it in me that I have not done things right that I keep experiencing the same old mistake(s) in my life?’

Often we hear, 'Be happy, don't worry'.  Let this be a mantra to one's life.  Simply, don't fret the small stuff.  Stop worrying about a variety of things all at once.  Learn to smell the roses, be grateful for the little things and do the small things with great love.

 

-----------------------------------

To TS .. It is good for you to consider talking to a professional.  Get yourself heard.

 

[Guest Lash out]

6 minutes ago, IkuTube said:

Be a doer, not a thinker.  

The mind likes to intellectualize and it can be a problem.  When it continues to analyze and when all answers are not satisfactorily accepted, there will be no peace, no joy and no happiness.  The act to intellectualize does not guarantee wisdom nor does it help to improve the way of life.

Too much analyzing will paralyze one's way of life.  When the mind is stuck with so much time thinking and worrying, it hinders the simplest thing.  It clouds clarity.  It stops the person to focus on problem solving.  It stops the person from living.  When he stops living, he becomes the prisoner of his own stuck mind.  This is where burnout can take place and depression to set in.

The only way to solve (any) problem, in life, is to get out of it.  First, recognize the problem.  Second, accept the problem.  Third, stop the blame and take responsibility.  Fourth, find the courage (paradigm shift) to change.  

Believe that everything is possible.  What is not possible is in the lack to believe and where one continues to give excuses and making more excuses.  The more the mind resists, the more problems come.  It is good to ask, every now and then, the question – ‘What is it in me that I have not done things right that I keep experiencing the same old mistake(s) in my life?’

Often we hear, 'Be happy, don't worry'.  Let this be a mantra to one's life.  Simply, don't fret the small stuff.  Stop worrying about a variety of things all at once.  Learn to smell the roses, be grateful for the little things and do the small things with great love.

 

-----------------------------------

To TS .. It is good for you to consider talking to a professional.  Get yourself heard.

 

 

 

 

 

Okay later I go home in the crowded MRT like a pathetic loser without a car. I will stop by the auntie selling tissue and tell her to smell the rose and don't fret the small stuff.. 

[Guest Lash out]

10 minutes ago, IkuTube said:

Be a doer, not a thinker.  

The mind likes to intellectualize and it can be a problem.  When it continues to analyze and when all answers are not satisfactorily accepted, there will be no peace, no joy and no happiness.  The act to intellectualize does not guarantee wisdom nor does it help to improve the way of life.

Too much analyzing will paralyze one's way of life.  When the mind is stuck with so much time thinking and worrying, it hinders the simplest thing.  It clouds clarity.  It stops the person to focus on problem solving.  It stops the person from living.  When he stops living, he becomes the prisoner of his own stuck mind.  This is where burnout can take place and depression to set in.

The only way to solve (any) problem, in life, is to get out of it.  First, recognize the problem.  Second, accept the problem.  Third, stop the blame and take responsibility.  Fourth, find the courage (paradigm shift) to change.  

Believe that everything is possible.  What is not possible is in the lack to believe and where one continues to give excuses and making more excuses.  The more the mind resists, the more problems come.  It is good to ask, every now and then, the question – ‘What is it in me that I have not done things right that I keep experiencing the same old mistake(s) in my life?’

Often we hear, 'Be happy, don't worry'.  Let this be a mantra to one's life.  Simply, don't fret the small stuff.  Stop worrying about a variety of things all at once.  Learn to smell the roses, be grateful for the little things and do the small things with great love.

 

-----------------------------------

To TS .. It is good for you to consider talking to a professional.  Get yourself heard.

 

 

 

 

 

Professional cost 100 to 250 dollars per hour / consultation. 

 

Cheat people money. It's like robbing the blind. It's like taking money from a child. 

 

Everything in our world is monetized. Money money money. 

 

But lashing out at Internet is free!!!! 

[PlayersGroup]

On 5/9/2023 at 12:46 PM, Guest Why said:

 

Some people say life is about love. But most gay don't ever get to experience that. 

 

Oh and about this. First, I think life is so much more than love. But being an understanding and loving person certainly makes life more enjoyable for ourselves and those around us.

 

I don't claim to know most gay people, but really depends where u look. Everywhere I look I see people in loving relationships, str8 or gay, open, polygamous or monogamous. Granted, relationship is not easy all the time, but so what. Single be happy being single. In love be happy being in love. 

[Guest how sia]

14 minutes ago, PlayersGroup said:

 

Oh and about this. First, I think life is so much more than love. But being an understanding and loving person certainly makes life more enjoyable for ourselves and those around us.

 

I don't claim to know most gay people, but really depends where u look. Everywhere I look I see people in loving relationships, str8 or gay, open, polygamous or monogamous. Granted, relationship is not easy all the time, but so what. Single be happy being single. In love be happy being in love. 

 

depends HOW u look

[notd]

On the topic of love, in the loose words of former supermodel Gisele Bundchen - "You're lucky if you get to love once, some people don't even get to love at all."

 

And that is true. You may have someone who is genuinely in love with you, and you may not return those feelings. Some people go from one partner to the next, they may marry but they will never truly experience what it's like to genuinely be in love. And that opens up the conversation about loving vs. being loved. 

 

Still, I wouldn't trade unrequited love to being loved by someone that I have no feelings for. 

 

Secondly, if you're feeling nihilistic about life, I urge you to seek a licensed therapist or counselor to talk about your feelings. Master's counseling students often offer pro-bono services to people to complete their credit hours. They may not possess the full skill range to treat you, but they are supervised and will do their best to assist. And if I can offer any further words of consolation, know that every step that you take, every mistake that you make, every breath of air that you breathe in, know that they're all meant to take you to where you need to be. Lastly, recognize that your body is doing more than you can ever imagine to keep you going in tough times. You may hate it, beat it up for not coming through at times, but human resilience can often surprise many of us at times. Treat it well.

 

 

[AgentFit]

On 5/9/2023 at 12:46 PM, Guest Why said:

We study for good grades. So can get good job so can retire. Then when we retire we find things to do. 

 

What's the point and purpose of life? I can't seem to understand it. 

 

My friend who committed suicide told me before that life is about making the best of every single day. 

 

But I just feel anger, frustration, disappointment every day. I don't remember the last time I felt happy. 

 

Do you? 

 

Some people say life is about love. But most gay don't ever get to experience that. Some say life is about leaving a legacy. But who cares.. People still remember Steve job meh? I mean, I don't even remember how he look anymore. 

 

Fame? Success? Do people remember those famous and successful people in the past? 

 

I dunno. Is that why people do drugs? And crime? Cause there is no real purpose? 

 

Seems like life, for me recently, is just to make end meets. To keep a job, to get paid, so I can be worried about the future. Without actually living in the present. 

 

Thank you for sharing.  

 

I believe each of us is created by our Maker to be unique, with a special purpose and skills.   When we are able to use the  skills to fulfill the purpose, that can be meaningful and fulfilling.

 

For eg, some of us thrive on helping others, and hence find fulfilment in careers related to that.  Some find fulfilment after work in volunteering services. 

 

Another eg, some of us are born to share - so you have teachers, public speakers..   No matter how tiring their jobs can be, they find meaning and enjoy themselves.

 

So searching within ourselves for the purpose that energizes us, and creating opportunities for ourselves to fulfill the purpose (whether through day job or social activities) might be the key to a more meaningful existence.

 

There are many out here listening to you.  You are not alone.

Cheers to a better everyday for you, even if slowly but surely.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest Guest]

I have this existential crisis when I’m depressed. I still don’t know the real purpose of life but I do think the company is important. I’m thankful for my partner who has been with me for the past decades. 

[singalion]

 

 

On 5/9/2023 at 12:46 PM, Guest Why said:

We study for good grades. So can get good job so can retire. Then when we retire we find things to do. 

 

What's the point and purpose of life? I can't seem to understand it. 

 

My friend who committed suicide told me before that life is about making the best of every single day. 

 

But I just feel anger, frustration, disappointment every day. I don't remember the last time I felt happy. 

 

Do you? 

 

Some people say life is about love. But most gay don't ever get to experience that. Some say life is about leaving a legacy. But who cares.. People still remember Steve job meh? I mean, I don't even remember how he look anymore. 

 

Fame? Success? Do people remember those famous and successful people in the past? 

 

I dunno. Is that why people do drugs? And crime? Cause there is no real purpose? 

 

Seems like life, for me recently, is just to make end meets. To keep a job, to get paid, so I can be worried about the future. Without actually living in the present. 

 

7 hours ago, Guest Why said:

I'm not stressed out about life. I think I'm more burnout and jaded about it. 

 

Example the 3 NUS undergraduates who died at New Zealand. Hey at least they went camping abroad. What did I ever accomplished? 

 

Right study hard, go NUS. Dunno exchange or holiday, so luxurious can afford to fly to new Zealand to experience life. 

 

I feel more dead than them. God should have traded their lives with mine. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We shouldn't come here and play with such scenarios, if it doesn't actually apply to yourself.

 

There are people in critical situations and and feel at the end of the road and the least we should do is making such scenarios to a comedy.

 

It seems you are making a mockery here.

 

Please grow up.

 

Many posters have taken efforts to come to respond.

 

Unfortunately, since your second post I can't take you serious any longer.

 

 

 

Edited May 10, 2023 by singalion

[auscent]

If we dont learn to be contended in any way, life will never be good.

[kidster]

Motivation is often the fuel for a strong purpose/dream/ambition.

 

It has to come from within as external motivation is not as strong. Eg. A child studies very hard because he came from a poor family.

 

Where do you find new motivation when fire in you has died off? 

[Steve5380]

13 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

I have this existential crisis when I’m depressed. I still don’t know the real purpose of life but I do think the company is important. I’m thankful for my partner who has been with me for the past decades. 

 

I am probably much older than you, and I also still don't know the real purpose of life.   But I am content with the idea that it is not in our nature to know the purpose of this life, and to know what will come next.   I think that it can be therapeutic to ACCEPT OUR NATURAL IGNORANCE.   

 

I recently spent some time with my 2 months old grandson.  I held him, looked into his eyes, and wondered what may be happening inside his mind.  He must be totally ignorant of everything, yet...   I doubt that he is disturbed by this.    He must feel alive of course,  and take in new experiences of this world.  Without being judgmental.  Of course his preoccupation must be to suck out his mother's milk, and be able to piss and poop.  And it is doubtful that he already compares himself with others,  having more or less than they have or being more or less than they are.

 

Why should our life be different?  We also have the preoccupation to get what is necessary to sustain our life.  But beyond this?  We are never too old to feel alive and take in new experiences all the time.  Of course we adults have goals, ambitions, plans, successes and failures,  but we can always fall back to the existence of a baby for a while and detach ourselves of the negatives that naturally appear in our lives,  while we keep eating, drinking, peeing and pooping.

[Guest Lol]

13 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

I have this existential crisis when I’m depressed. I still don’t know the real purpose of life but I do think the company is important. I’m thankful for my partner who has been with me for the past decades. 

 

So if your partner is no longer here. 

Suddenly died? Or cheat on you or leave you. And you suddenly lost your purpose of life? 

 

Reminds me of those story that the husband kept the wife corpse on the house cause can't let go for more than a decade... 

[Guest Haha]

13 hours ago, singalion said:

 

 

 

 

We shouldn't come here and play with such scenarios, if it doesn't actually apply to yourself.

 

There are people in critical situations and and feel at the end of the road and the least we should do is making such scenarios to a comedy.

 

It seems you are making a mockery here.

 

Please grow up.

 

Many posters have taken efforts to come to respond.

 

Unfortunately, since your second post I can't take you serious any longer.

 

 

 

 

You should stick to serious topic like USA politics and Ukraine war. Because you cannot cut and paste information from article about mental health.... Or can you?? 

[sgwildfire18]

On 5/9/2023 at 10:53 PM, doncoin said:

I think in Singapore, there is too much focus on the grades and not the actual learning process and experience itself. That sort of takes the joy out of learning. Sure, tests are meant as a guide to the educators and yourself to have an understanding of where you are vis-a-vis your classmates and peers, and they should only serve as that, i.e. you need more time to learn and understand the concept, etc. compared to your classmates. When you are studying just for the grade itself, you don't really learn. 

 

Just know that life has its ups and downs. That is normal. You cannot be high all the time, nor will you be down all the time. Find friends and supporters who will help you ride through the waves and build the resilience to go through them when they cannot be there for you. 

 

People do drugs usually out of curiosity. Doing drugs is not so much the problem. It is the addiction to drugs that is the big problem. 

Actually ... in SG, it's more than just grades ... everything is about MONEY MONEY MONEY (and our millionaire ministers still want to extract more).

I can connect with TS .. I think his situation is worsened by the environment here. Hence he may want to create an exit route while he is still young

[sgwildfire18]

On 5/9/2023 at 12:46 PM, Guest Why said:

We study for good grades. So can get good job so can retire. Then when we retire we find things to do. 

 

What's the point and purpose of life? I can't seem to understand it. 

 

My friend who committed suicide told me before that life is about making the best of every single day. 

 

But I just feel anger, frustration, disappointment every day. I don't remember the last time I felt happy. 

 

Do you? 

 

Some people say life is about love. But most gay don't ever get to experience that. Some say life is about leaving a legacy. But who cares.. People still remember Steve job meh? I mean, I don't even remember how he look anymore. 

 

Fame? Success? Do people remember those famous and successful people in the past? 

 

I dunno. Is that why people do drugs? And crime? Cause there is no real purpose? 

 

Seems like life, for me recently, is just to make end meets. To keep a job, to get paid, so I can be worried about the future. Without actually living in the present. 

I empathize with you. I can feel anger, frustration and disappointment - especially when everything in SG is about MONEY MONEY MONEY and the MIW still bring in FT to snatch our jobs (but what to do? Sinkaporeans deserve the government they voted for).

 

I don't agree with you on the love part though. It is possible to find gay love .. sometimes even more abundantly than what you plan for. To that end, I am happily "married" although not to a Singaporean.

 

Life is short - u live for a few decades then you return to dust. My mum's passing has made me realize that the only eternity is in heaven so maybe u should start making your down payments for your life there while u are still on earth 

[Guest ffffffff]

Is it because of others imposing on you? 

 

That you feel you are living a life others want you to live but not your own

 

[samdiggin]

i actually have the same thoughts from time to time 😕

[auscent]

Some form of conformity is to be expected in community living.

 

If we dont carve niches to devp our own identity and learn to have measured contendment, we wont be happy bro.

[Guest Lol]

8 hours ago, auscent said:

Some form of conformity is to be expected in community living.

 

If we dont carve niches to devp our own identity and learn to have measured contendment, we wont be happy bro.

 

Does it matter? Nobody will remember you. Nothing we do in life matters. Except at this moment. Right now. 

[egal]

i do

[gucici]

When a baby comes to life, grew up to be a kid, he doesnt have any goals too. Yet the kid enjoys what he is doing. Toy trains, remote car, lego, computer games, candies, chocolates, cakes. And they will fight for their life for all those. When they grew up as an adult, their passion changes. Maybe they live to eat good food, live for music to play in a band, live for yearly holidays, and they continue to earn more money for even better lifestyle.

You can enjoy these in the present. Doesnt mean that you can only enjoy when you turn old.  So do what you enjoy now. Be bold. Because when we are old, our passion changes again.  There must be something that you dreamt of doing it. Do it now. Not when you have knee, eye, body issues..

 

 

[Guest Whywhy]

When I notice I have mild depression symptoms due to stress in life, I started seeking help everywhere.

 

I have no problems calling my close friends and tell them I'm stuck in life. Don't need to feel embarrassed. I discuss solutions with them, hear their views and even lend a listening ear to the challenges they are facing at their end. 

 

When it didn't help much, I called the SOS hotline. Sharing my problems with a total stranger provide another form of stress relief because I don't need to hold back any info as compared to talking to someone I knew. However, they will not be offering any solutions. They could only point me to more resources.

 

My point is, when you notice a changed behavior from your usual self. In my case, I am feeling lethargic and wanting to sit down and do nothing, just want to listen to an old song over and over again. These could be depression symptoms.

 

It has been months and I feel I'm still spiralling down but it has slowed down thanks to my own efforts. The only person who can help is ourselves so we can't give up. If not, it will get worse. Hope it helps. 

[Steve5380]

4 hours ago, Guest Whywhy said:

When I notice I have mild depression symptoms due to stress in life, I started seeking help everywhere.

 

I have no problems calling my close friends and tell them I'm stuck in life. Don't need to feel embarrassed. I discuss solutions with them, hear their views and even lend a listening ear to the challenges they are facing at their end. 

 

When it didn't help much, I called the SOS hotline. Sharing my problems with a total stranger provide another form of stress relief because I don't need to hold back any info as compared to talking to someone I knew. However, they will not be offering any solutions. They could only point me to more resources.

 

My point is, when you notice a changed behavior from your usual self. In my case, I am feeling lethargic and wanting to sit down and do nothing, just want to listen to an old song over and over again. These could be depression symptoms.

 

It has been months and I feel I'm still spiralling down but it has slowed down thanks to my own efforts. The only person who can help is ourselves so we can't give up. If not, it will get worse. Hope it helps. 

 

I suggest that you seek help on the Internet,  watching on YouTube the multitude of videos that associate mental health with good nutrition, topics like healthy metabolism, insulin sensitivity, intermittent fasting, etc.   You can also watch some videos posted on the thread "for gays who will be seniors ...".  We can be SELF SUFFICIENT in fixing what needs improvement in ourselves, going beyond what the Medical Establishment does not yet care to include in their treatments.

[Steve5380]

5 hours ago, gucici said:

 

You can enjoy these in the present. Doesnt mean that you can only enjoy when you turn old.  So do what you enjoy now. Be bold. Because when we are old, our passion changes again.  There must be something that you dreamt of doing it. Do it now. Not when you have knee, eye, body issues..

 

 

If we are not old yet,  what we should "do now" is everything in our healthy lifestyle that will preserve our full functionality when we are older.  There is no need to have knee, eye, body issues until we are in our eighties and older.  And it is after retirement and still healthy and fully functional, that we can do things that need the free time we will enjoy then. 

[Sweetie Pie]

6 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

If we are not old yet,  what we should "do now" is everything in our healthy lifestyle that will preserve our full functionality when we are older.  There is no need to have knee, eye, body issues until we are in our eighties and older.  And it is after retirement and still healthy and fully functional, that we can do things that need the free time we will enjoy then. 

Like, the joy of spreading falsities in this forum?😝

 

Do you know that YouTube has started to censor videos that promote ketogenic diets and other non-WHO-compliant alternative health improvement informations?Why America is moving backward rather than forward baffles me.To prevent the free flow of information on alternative medicine in your nation, I suspect certain "Power" agenda must be at work.

[Salt&Pepper]

10 hours ago, Guest Whywhy said:

When I notice I have mild depression symptoms due to stress in life, I started seeking help everywhere.

 

I have no problems calling my close friends and tell them I'm stuck in life. Don't need to feel embarrassed. I discuss solutions with them, hear their views and even lend a listening ear to the challenges they are facing at their end. 

 

When it didn't help much, I called the SOS hotline. Sharing my problems with a total stranger provide another form of stress relief because I don't need to hold back any info as compared to talking to someone I knew. However, they will not be offering any solutions. They could only point me to more resources.

 

My point is, when you notice a changed behavior from your usual self. In my case, I am feeling lethargic and wanting to sit down and do nothing, just want to listen to an old song over and over again. These could be depression symptoms.

 

It has been months and I feel I'm still spiralling down but it has slowed down thanks to my own efforts. The only person who can help is ourselves so we can't give up. If not, it will get worse. Hope it helps. 

 

I'm happy to hear that your spiralling down has slowed and you have determination to help yourself out of being stuck. I quite sure many people have given you very good advice and suggestions. I'm just going to throw in one thing that I don't see mentioned in this thread & I dunno if the SOS helpline people have suggested to you before....that is see a doctor and get a comprehensive blood work analysis.

 

Do let the doctor know your situation so they may include tests on your blood that may not be included in the usual tests. I'm not suggesting that you see a doctor to put you on medication. Hormonal imbalances can cause depression. If you have a medical condition that you are unaware of and causing you to have periodic sprout of mild depression, than addressing the underlying medical condition may help you break the cycle or let you manage it more effectively.

 

Take care 🙏

[Guest COME]

I feel it everyday , sometime 3 x day 

 

Such feeling happens everytime after I cum , then I asked what is the meaning of life 

 

but an hour later I come again, and I think again 

 

is a cycle 

[AskMeNot]

Life is really what you make out of it.

[Guest Whywhy]

10 hours ago, Salt&Pepper said:

 

I'm happy to hear that your spiralling down has slowed and you have determination to help yourself out of being stuck. I quite sure many people have given you very good advice and suggestions. I'm just going to throw in one thing that I don't see mentioned in this thread & I dunno if the SOS helpline people have suggested to you before....that is see a doctor and get a comprehensive blood work analysis.

 

Do let the doctor know your situation so they may include tests on your blood that may not be included in the usual tests. I'm not suggesting that you see a doctor to put you on medication. Hormonal imbalances can cause depression. If you have a medical condition that you are unaware of and causing you to have periodic sprout of mild depression, than addressing the underlying medical condition may help you break the cycle or let you manage it more effectively.

 

Take care 🙏

 

Thanks. I will go for health screening.

 

On the mental side, I feel that I'm fighting alone for a lot things in my life.

 

There are some topics I can't ask my straight friends. I don't have many left either as we have shifted apart after all of them get married.

 

Common topics but in the context of being a gay

1. What are the considerations while buying a house?
2. Relationship - hard to find
3. Finance - single income
4. Health 
5. Friends - less or no gay friends
6. Retirement - alone
7. How to survive at workplace? - Those married and with kids tend to group together

On top that, other topics that straights also face

1. Aged parents
2. How to climb up career ladder
3. Many others....

[Steve5380]

10 hours ago, Sweetie Pie said:

 

Do you know that YouTube has started to censor videos that promote ketogenic diets and other non-WHO-compliant alternative health improvement informations?Why America is moving backward rather than forward baffles me.To prevent the free flow of information on alternative medicine in your nation, I suspect certain "Power" agenda must be at work.

 

 

Yes, I read about this new censorship in YouTube.  There are contradictory opinions about this.  On one side, it is wise to eliminate false health information that can be damaging to the public.   On the other side,  who has the absolute knowledge to be the judge?  

 

And if they want to start censuring false information...  how about all the videos about religion,  pro and con? Who has an absolute knowledge of religions?  

 

YouTube is becoming too powerful.  It is time for the creation of equally capable alternatives.  And it is time that the US government proceeds with its plan to break the MONOPOLY  that Google,  the owner of YouTube,  has over many cyber products.

.

Edited September 16, 2023 by Steve5380