Who Will You Be With When You Are 50

[Guest artemov]

I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. Even though it was more than 2 years ago, I still think of him now and the good times we spent together.

Like how he once piggybacked me down a long side street in Bangkok, while I was screaming, smiling and holding him tight at the same time.

Or how he went for a long overseas trip for the first time, and I cried and cried the first night. He immediately called me using his handphone all the way from Europe to let me hear his voice. I felt so happy then.

It was my first serious relationship, and for me at least, it was love at first sight. But I was inexperienced and headstrong, and got into many arguments with him. Yet I did try to make it work, and I sincerely believed that I was ready to spend the rest of my life with this man. But it was not meant to be. We broke up with great animosity, and I still hate him for shattering my dream. It was partly my fault, but not all.

When we are with someone, I guess we tend to concentrate too much on his faults and bad points, while overlooking his good points, probably the very things that we fall in love with in the first place. This must be what they call "taking for granted".

If I am given a chance again, I promise myself that I will try much harder this time. I will be more tolerant and more mature. I will see the good things in him and brush off the bad things. I will enjoy every moment with him, good or bad. But at the same time, I will not be naive and blind.

If you love someone, do not put your happiness in the hands of fate. Work hard for it and try your best to make the relationship work.

I want to be with my life partner when I am 50.

[GachiMuchi]

It is not uncommon to hear such incident of how one break off with their partner. My guess is you were very "young" (mentally) when you had your 1st relationship. Happy to know that you have since grown stronger and more determined to make the next one work.

Good luck to you.

[LupCheong]

*waves at artemov smiling*

Doesn't we always wished we could turn back time and amend the wrong things we have done to someone or ourselves? We all learn from our mistakes, I'm glad you have grown matured over the years after this incident. Hugs

[Guest artemov]

*waves at artemov smiling*

Doesn't we always wished we could turn back time and amend the wrong things we have done to someone or ourselves? We all learn from our mistakes.

* waves at LupCheong smiling too *

Yes, we all wished that we can amend our wrongs. But I also know that what's done cannot be undone. I can only hope that I will not repeat the same mistakes again. But the soul is weak.

Then again, I am afraid that I might not have the chance again. I might have lost that someone truly meant for me and none will ever come again. Some will have more than one chances, and maybe some will have none.

Yet another part of me believes that your soulmate is whoever you want him to be. He doesn't just come knocking onto you carrying a heavy box, or happen to share the same bus-stop with you during a heavy rain. If you fight for it, then it will work. But it takes two hands to clap.

Quite a few gays I know seems to have given up on finding love, or are even unwilling to try. Reasons they gave range from "I am too old and ugly" to "gays cannot form long term relationship". Do they truly believe that? Or are they unwilling to make the effort or the sacrifice. But I am neither their judge nor their jury.

What do you think?

[oralb]

never say never

you never know who's waiting for you in the corner of your life.

by dwelling on the past and thinking never, you might have close another chance with another MR right.

羅志祥 - 愛*轉角 (from 转角遇到爱)

我伪装着 不露痕迹

想在你身边 静静的陪着看着天边

骑着单车 忘记心

我的路口 爱在等着

你往前走 不回头看了

记忆的笑脸 缓缓的敲著我的琴键

我不舍得 让你孤单单的

我爱你的 心牵挂著

心不在拼命躲 不去害怕結果

假設有個以後 你會怎麽說

一直想跟你說 幸福不再溜走

下個路口 你會看見愛

有美麗笑容

愛轉角遇見了誰 是否有爱情的美

爱转角以后的街 能不能有我来陪

爱转角遇见了谁 是否不讓你流淚

也许陌生到了解 让我来当你的谁 (将寂寞孤单作废 让我来当你的谁)

我不讓愛掉眼淚 不讓你掉眼淚

現在永遠 你就是我 就是我的美

[Buaya]

Artemov, you remind me of when my first ex broke up with me... I was totally devastated as I truely believe we will be together for life... I hated him for spoiling my dream, though I still love him and I told my friends my ex was dead. Even till now, I still harbour some love for him, though I no longer hated him... We had even emt up for gatherings and occassional sex a few years back... But he is now very much in love with his partner and seldom meet friends now... He is a very nice gentleman, who is cheeky, yet serious, matured yet playful... A perfect man indeed, hahaha... slim, long thick cock, willing to flex and cute looking etc... Even my partner now told me he thinks my ex is cute when they met some time back...

But I guess we all need to move on. With the experience we garnered along the way, we will be better in whatever we do. And the next one will just get better...

Open your heart and reject no one who knocks... You wun know who is the right person... Until you try.

*hugs*

[TopChinese]

Why stop at 50? Why not aim to be with your life partner till the end of your days?

[cubby74]

Didnt know Artemov can be so serious.

Relationship is never easy, we learn from the first and we will still keep on learning everyday.

the essence of a relationship is communication. I couldnt stress more on that. it is really the make or break of a relationship. I am with my partner now for 1.5 yrs, initially we had our own expectations of one another, this led to qaurrels and arguements, after that we realise that we need to match each other expectations. We begin to talk more, about our likes and dislikes, we compromise.

Now, its very much a stable relationship and a good one too.

[Andy@Tokyo]

Hi there

I almost gave up the thought that serious relationship is possible although i just entered PLU 1 and a half years ago.. maybe the reason for that was the fact that i was asked to help up at a bar. From inside the counter, it seems that everything is 100X clearer. many of those i like were already attached and most others were just playing ard.

Many times i thought that this relationship is serious and going to be steady, it didnt turn out right. I envy that u had a 3-yr-relationship and i hope that this current one that i am on would last. Like many of u have said and it is also wat i was advised: it is not easy, but both parties also need to put in effort.（お互いに努力が必要です。）　

Regards

[Lungker]

Who Will You Be With When You Are 50?

I will still be with my right hand and occasionally fooling around with my left hand.

they don't smoke, they don't argue, they are always there when you need them, they don't fool around with other people unless you are involve in the orgy too, they don't expect you to remember their birthdays, they are as clean as you want them to be, they will work for free for you....

:hat: :smokin:

[skylancer]

Sorry to hear your sad sad story. I understand how you feel for this 3 yrs relationship... it reminds me how i go to this PLU line and met my 1st ex.

I also cried alot and he is the guy who comfort me down with his sweet voice. I always stay in his apartment when we are together. but alot of bad things happen at the 2yr of our relationship and he just flint around.. in the end... like wat u see in my past posting. All left me and i left a broken body.

But i don hope much for any relationship as i know it will never happen like my past relationship again. So i boost myself and work hard to earn more money so that i can live alone in a unit like the rest does.

When i m in my 50s, i think i will live alone in a unit and rest in a nature place where nobody knows where m i... at least nobody disturb me when i noti? haha

**i already no faith in relationship due to the past so i just see wat can i have then i have it**

[Guest artemov]

Hi Sky,

I don't know what you went through with your ex that you couldn't recover and have lost faith in relationship. It saddens me because you are still very young. Maybe that's why I rarely see you smile.

I wished I can tell you that a better one will come along soon. A perfect someone who loves you and whom you love dearly. But I don't even believe it myself, though I desperately wants to. I can only tell myself to try my best, to be more receptive and not turn down others because of miniscule faults.

Though I am a bit of a loner, and used to solitary activities (not what you think), I want a loving companion, warts and all, to grow old with. I don't want to cruise the saunas and trawl the chatrooms when I am 50, offering free blowjobs to cute young things only to have them push me away in disgust. I have more pride than that.

[SunDevil]

Seriously, I'm not even thinking about 50 yet...cos' I've come to realize that life always has a way to twist things around for you. How about just living for NOW?

For those that have lost their beliefs in love somewhere along the way, I do hope that you guys will keep an open mind because you never know that kind of pleasant surprises that life will throw at you.

[maturemedium]

When U love someone, U accept him as he is. U accept his family background, his education level, his culture, his interest ,even if differs from yours. U respect him as he is. U cannot force upon him things that he dun like. U might like durian while he hates it. U might like classical while he like junkie music. Torlerate each other. Like u said.. look at his good side. Then the relationship will last.

[chubbylover]

Seriously, I'm not even thinking about 50 yet...cos' I've come to realize that life always has a way to twist things around for you. How about just living for NOW?

I agree with that. Maybe one day you are crossing the street and was knocked down by a reckless driver, which leaves you permanently disabled and bed-ridden, and ended up that when you are 50 you find yourself in the company of.....your aging parents! Or...your ever sickening brother or sister (thunder clapping in the background)

As for me, I guess being the selfish nut that I am...I am gonna be spending my 50th birthday with myself. Provided that I take care of myself to stay alive till then.

Then again, who wants to live that long anyway?

[GachiMuchi]

I think it is good that you guys (you know who you are) joined us in our recent gatherings. I hope that I can have more time to organise more such gatherings so that guys like you (although not restricted to single guys), can mingle and hopefully, something will tingle (it rhymes) in the love / friendship department.

Even though love may or may not happen, at least we hope you guys can find some friends, through the meetings/gatherings. Someone once told me that "BF can come and go, it's your friend that will be the one that is by your side."

I have had a couple of relationships, but even though I am no longer with my ex, my friends are still around.

So, when I am 50, I would still want my good friends with me; with or without a bf.

[guest_明星]

For me, i would prefer to have a buddy staying together in a apartment til death tear us apart.

I know is not easy and oso nobody want me, guess i can just dream on.

Cheers for those gay couples manage to stay together til death.

Cheers

[snowball]

I never believe when people say that they Love you forever or you are the most important person in my Life etc etc... all sucks. Those sweet talk got expire dates, i rather he treats me well & faithful to me when we are both together & treasure every moments we had, not here say he know what is true Love & how much he Love me but sleep with different people & fxxk around on the other side

[Guest artemov]

I have had a couple of relationships, but even though I am no longer with my ex, my friends are still around.

So, when I am 50, I would still want my good friends with me; with or without a bf.

But humans have different needs.

Friends and a life partner satisfy different needs.

I can't do without my friends, but I also don't want to live the rest of my life without a partner.

[Andy@Tokyo]

I can't do without my friends, but I also don't want to live the rest of my life without a partner.

[homeboi]

i once deeply attach with an 50yo guy but he prefer older guy than him.... so i have to let him go so he will be happy

[Buaya]

I would love to be with friends... That's why I am keen to meet people... But I also cannot be without my partner... I must be attached to feel happier... I would love to be able to bring my partner and my friends together so we can go out together once in a while... Less bored and he can also have more friends... But my partner does not enjoy meeting my friends... And he dun really like me to mingle with his friends... So, at this moment in time, I think I will like to spend my old age with my partner.

[Guest artemov]

... So, at this moment in time, I think I will like to spend my old age with my partner.

So sweet

[Asura]

I don't even know I am live until 50. Some people call me pessimistic, but than that is still a fact that I am a sick person.

When I was first attached with my first BF, we thought we would grow old togather. but one thing leads to another, he pass away, i am sick and as years goes by, my number of problem increase.

Many times, I wish I had a BF, i search, i look, but maybe already being a chub, my market is small, on top of that, I am a quiet person, even lesser. But even when there is a chance, my sickness may turn off the person and things end without get started.

Even when things turn up well, I will fall into fear that one day I will just pass away suddenly and left him lonely and sad.... Now I don't even know if I could or dare find anyone at all...

[IkuTube]

I don't even know I am live until 50. Some people call me pessimistic, but than that is still a fact that I am a sick person.

Even when things turn up well, I will fall into fear that one day I will just pass away suddenly and left him lonely and sad.... Now I don't even know if I could or dare find anyone at all...

Wise if you are to live in the 'now' - in nowness, you are in control over situations. Stay positive.

Take charge of your life, my friend.

[fisherman]

Hi no matter who will you be with when you are 50, you must be good to urself. always stay positive.

yes if you are with your BF then that is nice, but if you dun have, is not the end of the world.

we still got frens and families. Stay cool and positive, we have so many pple here in BW.

Be good to urself.

[GachiMuchi]

I don't even know I am live until 50. Some people call me pessimistic, but than that is still a fact that I am a sick person.

When I was first attached with my first BF, we thought we would grow old togather. but one thing leads to another, he pass away, i am sick and as years goes by, my number of problem increase.

Many times, I wish I had a BF, i search, i look, but maybe already being a chub, my market is small, on top of that, I am a quiet person, even lesser. But even when there is a chance, my sickness may turn off the person and things end without get started.

Even when things turn up well, I will fall into fear that one day I will just pass away suddenly and left him lonely and sad.... Now I don't even know if I could or dare find anyone at all...

When you are born, you bring nothing into the world..

When you dies, you bring nothing away.

Why are you still with so much "Fear"?

Om Ma Ni Pa Meh Hom!

[bearhunt]

I'm actually very scared of the idea of ending up alone. Somehow I feel that it invalidates me as a person.

I've never had a long term relationship. Is there something wrong with me?

I always seem to fall for all the wrong guys. (Either attached or simply playing around) Psychologists will tell you that that is because of some programming or beliefs in my subconscious that is leading me towards all these "wrong" choices.

I fear being rejected, but yet sometimes rejection makes me feel alive.

Is that fxxked-up or what?

In any case, I tell myself that I am simply being human. As a human being we all have needs. We need a partner with whom to express certain forms of love with, as some forms of intimacy are not appropriate being shared with friends or family.

However, never fall into the trap of thinking that without a significant other you are incomplete.

Ask yourself, whenever you are feeling down or afraid or lonely, "even without this other thing/person, i still exist. if i still exist without it, then why do i need it in the first place?"

No my friends, it is not that we need Love or a relationship or a partner. It is just that having a partner allows us to express the "Lover" in us. And as it is intrinsic in our nature to Love, we naturally seek to experience the full range of this emotion. Therefore it is only natural to want a partner.

Having friends (really good friends who care abt and love you) and no partner presents one set of problems. Having a partner and no friends causes yet another. Its about balance, and eventually all things tend to equilibrium.

That is the nature of Life. Remember, YOU are a part of Life. Sometimes, there's nothing left to do but to kick back, surrender and enjoy the ride.

Bearhuntingly

[Panda_9791]

I will definitely hope to be with a bf/partner at 50yo. My close friends are a couple and approaching 50, it gives me alot of hope that it's possible

But if not, i guess friends is the next best option...

[reflection]

xxx

[Asura]

When you are born, you bring nothing into the world..

When you dies, you bring nothing away.

Why are you still with so much "Fear"?

Om Ma Ni Pa Meh Hom! 

When you love someone dearly, you would be afraid to hurted him mah, thats what I fear lor....

[GachiMuchi]

Sorrow (悲), happiness (欢), departure (离), gathering (合), live (生), aged (老), sick (病), death(死) are part and parcel of life, for which no one can escape.

So long you live your time you have; this lifetime, to the fullest, you should have no fear or regrets.

Om Ma Ni Pa Meh Hom!

[Buaya]

Like 赵永华's song 最浪漫的事, where there is a line '我能想到最浪漫的事 就是和你一起慢慢变老。。。'

[Asura]

This song always make me cry. Waiting for that day to come, but it may never...

在super market逛了好大一圈

想你爱咖哩或是意大利面

幸福的食谱再恶补几遍

我的优点要你百尝不厌

在下班路上租了几支影片

有你在沙发就是浪漫剧院

辛苦的时候想著你的脸

没有蛮牛活力也会出现

喔~小夫妻我的福气

这辈子可以让我爱上了你

这一路，有时晴，有时雨

都没有关系

我们的真心超过钻石对爱的定义

小夫妻~永不放弃

默契是最富有的一种储蓄

赌气话，你一句，我一句

也觉得甜蜜

多庆幸我们望著同样明天

牵手在努力

你今天玉米浓汤有一点咸

你没送钻戒以后补我项链

我的通通是你的没有期限

存够钱我们逛地球一圈

喔~小夫妻，我的福气

这辈子可以让我爱上了你

这一路，有时晴，有时雨

都没有关系

我们的真心超过钻石对爱的定义

小夫妻~永不放弃

默契是最富有的一种储蓄

赌气话，你一句，我一句

也觉得甜蜜

多庆幸我们望著同样明天

牵手在努力

喔~小夫妻我的福气

这辈子可以让我爱上了你

这一路，有时晴，有时雨

都没有关系

我们的真心超过钻石对爱的定义

小夫妻永不放弃

默契是最富有的一种储蓄

赌气话，你一句，我一句

也觉得甜蜜

多庆幸我们望著同样明天

牵手在努力

我愿意，这一生，这一世

呵护著你

一直到，你当爷爷，你当奶奶

还是老夫老妻

[mature40s]

Who will I be with when I am 50?? I will 50 next year!!! I am still with my bf whom I met in 2001. Compared with many PLU couples, I must say our relationship is very strong. We are in a closed relationship and I have resisted many temptations especially when I am on business trips (particularly BKK!!) ... no sauna ... no hanky panky massage ..... Will I still be with my current bf in the next 10 years?? I don't know ... but I treasure I what have ....

[reflection]

Who will I be with when I am 50?? I will 50 next year!!! I am still with my bf whom I met in 2001.  Compared with many PLU couples, I must say our relationship is very strong.  We are in a closed relationship and I have resisted many temptations especially when I am on business trips (particularly BKK!!) ... no sauna ... no hanky panky massage ..... Will I still be with my current bf in the next 10 years?? I don't know ... but I treasure I what have ....

You are an inspiration for many who have crossed 40s and still looking for a soul mate...Sincerely wish you the best (白头偕老） for your golden years ahead.

[Takahome]

Well... 50... hmm that's a long way to go.

I guess I will be spending it alone i guess... Quite hard to find the right guy.

Anyway now still trying to enjoy singlehood as try not to think about getting a bf since hard to find lol.. maybe when get older will be different

For now.. cheers to singlehood!

[fisherman]

I want to be with my BF when i am 50. we love each other very much, and treasure every moment we have together.

is not easy to find true love. for those who who found it, do treasure it.

for those who has not, i am your Mr Right will come.

have faith in yourself and be positive.

[wasabi]

... Someone once told me that "BF can come and go, it's your friend that will be the one that is by your side."

I have had a couple of relationships, but even though I am no longer with my ex, my friends are still around.

So, when I am 50, I would still want my good friends with me; with or without a bf.

Good friends are for life with/without a BF.

Always treasure your good friends for they are the ones who will be there for you when you are in a rocky relationship or dire straits.

Boyfriends, please cherish your scarced relationship and your other significant half.

I always see couples and partners having tiffs over things that do not matter a lot .

Sometimes, personal pride, dishonesty, insecurity, a lack of mutual trust and possessiveness are the main root causes that manifest into other problems.

Do know that having a boyfriend or partner does not equate to everlasting bliss/love. We are not living in a fairy-tale world where there is a happy ending. Both parties have to make the effort and continue to work on their relationship and improve it further, have open communication, and always sit down calmly together to resolve any conflicts if arise.

[micklee101]

Like matrure 40s' relation,am too can resist all temptation, am no longer going sauna etc after met my current bf for 2yrs ++.i tot we r in stable relation,but am wrong.He just too playful!!!I allowed him stay overnight outstation meeting with his cyber plu friend,after tat he ask me let him go outstation overnight again saying this time is the final trip, as he miss the guy's cock n saying even he flirting around but the HEART IS WITH ME. How many final time he will b asking??? i really doubt can i accepting his excuse until 50 yrs old.

True love is hard to find.Please b faithful n treasure the relation for those who have stable relation.

[tic-toc]

actually 50 isn't so far away. When I was in my 20s, I thought I would never live pass my 35th birthday. Our perspective changes so now I would think who will I be when I am 70 !!!

Well return to this topic. I think I will be with my bf. He certainly wishes to get rid of me but where got so easy one??!! I will stick onto him like leeches

[skylancer]

okok... My turn to talk...

Actually, i prefer a small group of PLU friends who live near me so that we can meet up often without worries. But i hope i can find someone who can stay with me thin and thick until i am 50 plus? plus staying together? It might be a daydream for me, but i will work hard on that matter.

Now i just focus on my work will do..

[reflection]

okok... My turn to talk...

Actually, i prefer a small group of PLU friends who live near me so that we can meet up often without worries. But i hope i can find someone who can stay with me thin and thick until i am 50 plus? plus staying together? It might be a daydream for me, but i will work hard on that matter.

Now i just focus on my work will do..

btw, would you like to reveal your age range?

[darkflame]

If I'm attached, maybe I'll be staying with someone. And I hope I can age gracefully. At least look like this guy below:

 

 

If single, hopefully I won't become a Madame Butterfly listening to 我等着你回来.

 

[Karma]

* waves at LupCheong smiling too *

Yes, we all wished that we can amend our wrongs. But I also know that what's done cannot be undone. I can only hope that I will not repeat the same mistakes again. But the soul is weak.

Then again, I am afraid that I might not have the chance again. I might have lost that someone truly meant for me and none will ever come again. Some will have more than one chances, and maybe some will have none.

Yet another part of me believes that your soulmate is whoever you want him to be. He doesn't just come knocking onto you carrying a heavy box, or happen to share the same bus-stop with you during a heavy rain. If you fight for it, then it will work. But it takes two hands to clap.

Quite a few gays I know seems to have given up on finding love, or are even unwilling to try. Reasons they gave range from "I am too old and ugly" to "gays cannot form long term relationship". Do they truly believe that? Or are they unwilling to make the effort or the sacrifice. But I am neither their judge nor their jury.

What do you think?

 

I cannot but agree to the reasons given. Seems that PLUs r very particular abt looks and ages and that relationships r rather fragile

[zwei]

I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. Even though it was more than 2 years ago, I still think of him now and the good times we spent together.

Like how he once piggybacked me down a long side street in Bangkok, while I was screaming, smiling and holding him tight at the same time.

Or how he went for a long overseas trip for the first time, and I cried and cried the first night. He immediately called me using his handphone all the way from Europe to let me hear his voice. I felt so happy then.

It was my first serious relationship, and for me at least, it was love at first sight. But I was inexperienced and headstrong, and got into many arguments with him. Yet I did try to make it work, and I sincerely believed that I was ready to spend the rest of my life with this man. But it was not meant to be. We broke up with great animosity, and I still hate him for shattering my dream. It was partly my fault, but not all.

When we are with someone, I guess we tend to concentrate too much on his faults and bad points, while overlooking his good points, probably the very things that we fall in love with in the first place. This must be what they call "taking for granted".

If I am given a chance again, I promise myself that I will try much harder this time. I will be more tolerant and more mature. I will see the good things in him and brush off the bad things. I will enjoy every moment with him, good or bad. But at the same time, I will not be naive and blind.

If you love someone, do not put your happiness in the hands of fate. Work hard for it and try your best to make the relationship work.

I want to be with my life partner when I am 50.

 

 

Sweet

Edited July 28, 2013 by zwei

[joshTWjosh]

That's why this song always brings tears to my eyes. The first time is so hard. So hard to forget...

[Guest Curiousnazrul]

Falling in love is easy, but staying together as a couple, well, that's hard work and being a gay couple makes things even harder. Although things are rather hard for gays, I have always believed that we are all capable of lasting and loving monogamous relationships because although things are harder, gay relationships not differ very much from heterosexual relationships. I always find the seemingly prevalent view of gays, especially the young ones, being jaded and giving up or gays choosing to indulge in sexual activities as opposed to a relationship quite disturbing because it shows that we are somewhat defeatist by giving up, as well as creates an impression that we prefer the easier way out, hence the choice to indulge in sexual activities as opposed to a relationship. I have been in and out of love, and I too have been very immature, but I believe that when we are in a good place relationship wise, we shouldn't allow our fears, insecurities and immaturity to be a cancer in our relationships. If we allow it to affect us, we may all end up regretting our decisions and behavior like the thread starter. Let's all aspire towards a lasting relationship, shall we? Haha.

[abang]

Breaking up is painful but it does not mean it is the end of the world.

Being there, done that...

 

At 52 and 3 months and bf-less for some time no, I don't think life is all that bad.

I try to accept the fact that I may end up as a lonely old man.. feeding pigeons and rearing fish..

But so what if that happens?

 

I can still go for a swim, hit the gym .. go for my favourite food and relaxing at Sentosa.

Life at 50.. you take things slowly and don't fight over trivial things in life..

Be happy ..

[gstc82]

Gay life is tough. My partner n I are together for 18 years this national day"s eve. What we fear is who will be left behind when the other is gone.

He is 12 years my senior but who knows, if I leave this earth, how will he cope? If he leaves first, how will I cope? Who will depart first is the easier decision. The hardest part is the one who will be left behind.