Discussion on Retirement For Older Gay + Life @ 50, 68 & Beyond + Retire With No Worries (Compiled)

[waterballoon]

I've actually never thought that far.. lol

[suckmenao]

I've actually never thought that far.. lol

don't worry, you can accompany me sipping coffee on the road side eyeing for young hotbodies.

[Guest Guest]

#2

May stay in Singapore if someone is going to prevent me from floating off somewhere.

Someone who loves me so much that he replaces my heart with heavy love & care,

that I can hardly take off into the sky.

Why not "Someone whom you love so much that you replace his heart with heavy love & care,

that I can hardly take off into the sky."???

[waterballoon]

don't worry, you can accompany me sipping coffee on the road side eyeing for young hotbodies.

omg I do not wish to be someone like that when I'm old!

[suckmenao]

omg I do not wish to be someone like that when I'm old!

you might be interested to check this:

http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/blowingwind.org#

click on the audience tab and see the age group which is over represented.

[Guest someone knows u]

omg I do not wish to be someone like that when I'm old!

I used to do it... :oops: nothing to be paiseh...

[darkflame]

Why not "Someone whom you love so much that you replace his heart with heavy love & care,

that I can hardly take off into the sky."???

Then I'll be the one taking off to the sky, because I got no heavyweight to make me stay on the ground. :yuk:

omg I do not wish to be someone like that when I'm old!

Better than sitting around the stone chess table, listen to birds chirp in the morning.

In their cages of course.

[MeowPrince]

I'd want to continue making pictures of places around the world, but have a little home on one of the quieter Cyclades or down in Western Crete, with my cats. With an annual exhibition to showcase my works, though it will definitely not be in Singapore.

[Guest amidst_the_stars]

omg I do not wish to be someone like that when I'm old!

Me too !! Its kind of sad...no offence.

[Guest Genkisam]

To own a small cosy cafe, filled with books and good food. Having a live band at weekend nights, performing an old song or two.

Preferably having a boyfriend to man the place too. If not, guess I'll do it till I couldn't do it anymore.

[doncoin]

My ex's dad and his partner has been together for about 20 something years. They live in this retirement village in Florida, with easy access to the beach etc. What's fun is they have their group of gay friends living nearby. I.e. a few houses away and they all hang out daily- morning walks on the beach, bbqs etc. Talk about bird migration patterns etc. since they live near some nature reserve as well.

I think it is pretty ideal scenario observing them. I think as i get older, I appreciate my friends more. My bestie and I spoke about it, we may invest together with a few of our close friends on real estate near each other. All I ask is some place warm.

[MlyGuy1975]

I hope to make enough money and retire in Singapore if possible. Don't think I'd want a condo so I'll be happy with a HDB flat. That way I can continue doing my artworks, photography and turn it into a mini gallery. While my dreams of living with a partner till our twilight years were recently dashed, I hope to find someone like minded to grow old with still.

[Kolomon]

Hi everyone, I'm new in this forum.

I have been wondering, do bottoms lose out when they grow older? Like say age 40 plus. I don't know but the tops I met usually prefers younger guy like age 18 to 25, so what happens when I grow older? Do I get less market value now that I have aged?

I have asked people on Grindr and Jack'd why do they prefer younger guys and they told me the reason is because either the hole is fresh or they just generally prefer young guys. Which leads me to think that bottoms lose out when they grow older.

Any comments/pointers for me. I'm afraid that I would be unwanted when I grow older. (I know I'm still at a very young age but I can't help but think about my future)

Thanks.

[jameshkh1209]

If you are still going around looking for sex at that age, then perhaps.

I prefer younger guys but not only because of fresh holes but also because as a top I'll be in a better position to take care of him, be the one "wearing the pants" if you know what I mean.

But I'm sure once you've found your special one, then he will want you no matter how old you guys get. Most tops in relationships won't just dump his boyfriend of many years because the boyfriend passed a certain age limit.

just my two cents

[GachiMuchi]

So long as you grow old gracefully, you can still have good market value regardless whether you are bottom or top. I have had my fair share of bottom guys in their 40s, some are well maintained and or still have nice bod and tight butt.

That said, I do noticed that there are a large number of guys when they are older who do not take care of themselves, and allow their body to "go to waste". So the key point here, it to take care of your body and stay healthy and exercise regularly.

[Kolomon]

But I'm sure once you've found your special one, then he will want you no matter how old you guys get. Most tops in relationships won't just dump his boyfriend of many years because the boyfriend passed a certain age limit.

Ah, so if I do get to an old age and am not looking for sex, will it be difficult? Because you said most top in relationships won't dump his boyfriend of many years just because he passed a certain age limit. What if they were not in a relationship to begin with, the top can choose younger guys over guys above a certain age limit.

The influx of gay people coming out of their closets or reaching the legal age is just higher than the amount of gay people dying . So generally tops would prefer younger guys? They have the choice, why would they choose a older guy .

[GachiMuchi]

I think you worried too much for someone your age. You should be thinking of how to work on your relationship instead of thinking how loose your ass is going to be when you are in your 40s, which is another 20 years time.

[Kolomon]

That said, I do noticed that there are a large number of guys when they are older who do not take care of themselves, and allow their body to "go to waste". So the key point here, it to take care of your body and stay healthy and exercise regularly.

Okay, thanks for your input. I will keep that in mind and not let my body putrefy. The world is a practical place, people usually choose looks over personality. So I gotta up my game and keep my market value. After all, if I don't have the youth factor, I guess I still have the body to attract people, I know my good looks will definitely die down one day. Age catches up with anybody.

[Kolomon]

I think you worried too much for someone your age. You should be thinking of how to work on your relationship instead of thinking how loose your ass is going to be when you are in your 40s, which is another 20 years time.

I do worry a lot, because I get many advances from people. I know that they just want to get into my ass. All these will be gone.

I know how to work on relationship and my ass definitely won't be loose, I don't give myself to people easily. They have to earn it from me.

I'm just afraid that it be hard for me to get into a relationship in the future. Maybe it's just a fear of the uncertainty.

[jameshkh1209]

I do worry a lot, because I get many advances from people. I know that they just want to get into my ass. All these will be gone.

I know how to work on relationship and my ass definitely won't be loose, I don't give myself to people easily. They have to earn it from me. I'm just afraid that it be hard for me to get into a relationship in the future. Maybe it's just a fear of the uncertainty.

Haha like GM said, you can always keep your body in shape. Beside, when people aren't thinking with their dicks, they do look for many other qualities; maturity, personality etc etc. If what you say is true, then most if not all middle aged men would be damn desperate by now. Well, many are. But there are many who find their partners and settle down too.

[Kolomon]

Haha like GM said, you can always keep your body in shape. Beside, when people aren't thinking with their dicks, they do look for many other qualities; maturity, personality etc etc. If what you say is true, then most if not all middle aged men would be damn desperate by now. Well, many are. But there are many who find their partners and settle down too.

Okay thanks a lot.

I guess I need not worry about the other qualities part, because I have confidence on my qualities as a person.

Alright I be heading to bed.

Thanks for the help, GM and jameshkh1209. Can sleep peacefully now.

[Guest Marad44]

Nick Yee has interesting statistics on Tops & Bottoms: http://www.nickyee.com/ponder/topbottom.html

[matthewleon]

Nick Yee has interesting statistics on Tops & Bottoms: http://www.nickyee.c.../topbottom.html

Very interesting statistics, albeit the small number of N. Is this case study done in Asia?

I was too lazy to read the full thing.... I just read the main points and looked through the graph.....

As a almost pure bottom, I do prefer taller men but not necessarily hairier... Of cz we bottoms prefer bigger, heavier, and more mature men, just like how ladies do, I suppose? ^_^

[jtsc]

Now I'm starting to understand why so many bottoms think I'm a top

[Blissfull]

Be dead before you grow old and it will be fine. That's my plan anyway.

THAT ASIDE, old for young is pretty normal, most people like to go for young and smooth ones. Probably work for a lasting relationship that doesnt build on looks but personality. (:

[Guest Teen]

Cant agree much . Bottoms who are of older age have lose out much more than tops . This is through my observations .

[Kolomon]

Be dead before you grow old and it will be fine. That's my plan anyway.

THAT ASIDE, old for young is pretty normal, most people like to go for young and smooth ones. Probably work for a lasting relationship that doesnt build on looks but personality. (:

I don't wanna die young, so many things I want to do in life. =D

I guess the old going for young is pretty normal, it also happens in heterosexual relationship. I agree with you, relationship needs to be built on personality, looks is ever-changing and the amount of gay guys coming out everyday is growing, means more options for the top to choose. But one thing the young gays don't have when I grow older is experience in life. ;D

[Blissfull]

But one thing the young gays don't have when I grow older is experience in life. ;D

And the experience in bed.

[Kolomon]

Nick Yee has interesting statistics on Tops & Bottoms: http://www.nickyee.c.../topbottom.html

Oh cool, thanks for the link =D. I think only tops who prefer around their age, 33.3% is enough for me. When I'm grow older, there will still be a high percentile of people who don't mind. Hehe, I will be moving from the lower percentile to a higher percentile when I grow older based on the chart.

Thanks .

[Kolomon]

And the experience in bed.

Oh that! :twisted:

Art of seduction. Yea, I'm good at that!

[Blissfull]

Oh that! :twisted:

Art of seduction. Yea, I'm good at that!

Youre a natural

[Kolomon]

Youre a natural

Opps, don't tell that to everyone here.

Lunch soon okay? =D

[happy.99]

maybe there isn't much top because if guys want to top, they can still top a woman right? but what can a bottom do?

[Kolomon]

maybe there isn't much top because if guys want to top, they can still top a woman right? but what can a bottom do?

But there will not be any sexual attraction/romance if the person is gay. It be like cum and go.

[keyboard]

You're worrying too much about things you cannot control. Everyone will grow old, society changes, fashion changes, I can't say what 20 years down the road will be like. We used to like ah bengs, now? Last time also got center parting, now so obiang already right. You are at a smartphone age, so move along with times and you should do just fine.

Plan for your future, retirement, the things you want to do if you get to live long. If nothing else worries you, then at that point, worry about getting laid. When you are young now, go out and get your hole used as much as often, once past 25, also not a lot of people will want liao. (Do not take that seriously.) Like you said, younger are getting out there nowadays. Practise safe sex.

[PaterTenebrarum]

TS, u feel that way cos perhaps the guys usually meet are those who like young guys. Nothing wrong with that.But.

There are others who prefer guys who a bit more mature. I, for one, do not find pretty young twinks attractive at all. Will never date anyone below 30. I prefer men to boys.

And what "market value" are you talking about? Guys like myself prefer guys who are more mature both physically and mentally, as they are more financially independent and are usualy more mature emotionally. And for me, a masculine man's body is way more attractive than a youthful boyish one.

Open your eyes and look at the big old grand gay scene before you. Beyond Grindr,, beyond Play, beyond your own circle of friends, beyond Singapore.

You will see that there is something ie a market for every one, someone for all ages, top, bottom, vanilla, kinky, into watersports, into bondage, etc etc.

Everyone grows old one day but as one gets older, one tends to see that there is more to a companionship than sex or even being top or bottom for that matter.

Remember, open your eyes and take a closer look at the big old gay scene.

Edited November 8, 2011 by PaterTenebrarum

[P_Drinker]

live each day like your last why worry about something that hasn't happened or you don't even know if it'll happen.

you can also try being a top... i like ass a lot and i was disappointed i couldn't get it up the first few times i wanted to fxxk a guy... prolly cos nervous and plus the condom was choking my poor thick penis. so i bottomed after the first few failed attempts n enjoyed it - but i realise the many small cocks i meet cant satisfy my hole's undying hunger... so i flipflopped one dude who REALLY turned me on and voila, i was topping! damn shiok! but it goes to show i need to be realli turned on by the btm to top him. which brings me to my next point - i like older bottoms too! their flexible holes make it easier for my thick cock to slide in and they can realli take a good banging yumms.

[Kolomon]

TS, u feel that way cos perhaps the guys usually meet are those who like young guys. Nothing wrong with that.But.

There are others who prefer guys who a bit more mature. I, for one, do not find pretty young twinks attractive at all. Will never date anyone below 30. I prefer men to boys.

And what "market value" are you talking about? Guys like myself prefer guys who are more mature both physically and mentally, as they are more financially independent and are usualy more mature emotionally. And for me, a masculine man's body is way more attractive than a youthful boyish one.

Open your eyes and look at the big old grand gay scene before you. Beyond Grindr,, beyond Play, beyond your own circle of friends, beyond Singapore.

You will see that there is something ie a market for every one, someone for all ages, top, bottom, vanilla, kinky, into watersports, into bondage, etc etc.

Everyone grows old one day but as one gets older, one tends to see that there is more to a companionship than sex or even being top or bottom for that matter.

Remember, open your eyes and take a closer look at the big old gay scene.

Maybe like you say, those tops that hit on me are the ones that like young guy.

Everyone has their own preference, some like chubs, some like twinks, some like bears. I'm just feeling insecure, the thought of being single when you're 40+ is just scary and lonely, no one wants to be alone (well for me that is).

Yea I know, there's lots of market out there. BDSM, Master/Slave, watersports, <<Don't Feed The Troll>>, fisting, leather, etc, all these fetishes.

Actually, I'm not looking for sex, I'm looking for companionship, someone who I can grow old with, learn new things together, do crazy things together, and of cause the usual, sex. I'm just afraid that when I get older, it will be more difficult for me to get into a relationship. With age comes experience, which is why I prefer older guys actually. Just scared I will not have all these attention anymore next time.

My eyes are open, learning new things everyday. I'm here to gather more inputs from everyone and fight this issue that has been haunting me recently.

Thanks a lot.

[Kolomon]

You're worrying too much about things you cannot control. Everyone will grow old, society changes, fashion changes, I can't say what 20 years down the road will be like. We used to like ah bengs, now? Last time also got center parting, now so obiang already right. You are at a smartphone age, so move along with times and you should do just fine.

Plan for your future, retirement, the things you want to do if you get to live long. If nothing else worries you, then at that point, worry about getting laid. When you are young now, go out and get your hole used as much as often, once past 25, also not a lot of people will want liao. (Do not take that seriously.) Like you said, younger are getting out there nowadays. Practise safe sex.

It's all these unknowns that scares me a lot. The future, I have plans already, plan A, B, C, etc, but then whether the plans will be fulfilled will be up to each individual, I'm confident that I will do good in the future. Just not so at the companion for life part.

[Kolomon]

live each day like your last why worry about something that hasn't happened or you don't even know if it'll happen.

you can also try being a top... i like ass a lot and i was disappointed i couldn't get it up the first few times i wanted to fxxk a guy... prolly cos nervous and plus the condom was choking my poor thick penis. so i bottomed after the first few failed attempts n enjoyed it - but i realise the many small cocks i meet cant satisfy my hole's undying hunger... so i flipflopped one dude who REALLY turned me on and voila, i was topping! damn shiok! but it goes to show i need to be realli turned on by the btm to top him. which brings me to my next point - i like older bottoms too! their flexible holes make it easier for my thick cock to slide in and they can realli take a good banging yumms.

Ahahaha, this actually made me laugh.

Well, I think I'm just thinking too much about the future. Gotta come back to reality and live life as it is. Met someone who really got me thinking about the future, gotta stop worrying.

[Guest Ironrod]

TS, I just want to say is most older btms I met.....are

1) Sissy - perhaps after getting fxxk too much assume that they are a full fledged woman and starts going insane.

2) Btms whom uses excessive beauty products

3) Keep address each other as "sister", "mommy" or "mei Mei" pisses me off

4) Become size queens becos they have seen it all and the hole wanted more

5) Older btms can be very aggressive in bed [very scary]

Conclusion - I prefer younger btms due to my experience with older btms lol

[P_Drinker]

just embrace it. win, lose or draw. in any relationship, even marriage, no one owns the other party. anyone can step out of a relationship at any time - this is something u can't control. what u can do is cherish every moment while it lasts.

[P_Drinker]

TS, I just want to say is most older btms I met.....are

1) Sissy - perhaps after getting fxxk too much assume that they are a full fledged woman and starts going insane.

2) Btms whom uses excessive beauty products

3) Keep address each other as "sister", "mommy" or "mei Mei" pisses me off

4) Become size queens becos they have seen it all and the hole wanted more

5) Older btms can be very aggressive in bed [very scary]

Conclusion - I prefer younger btms due to my experience with older btms lol

sounds like small penis syndrome... HAHAHHAHAHA

no offence but the subtext is screaming at me!

[keyboard]

I'm confident that I will do good in the future. Just not so at the companion for life part.

Let me know when you find the solution

[Kolomon]

TS, I just want to say is most older btms I met.....are

1) Sissy - perhaps after getting fxxk too much assume that they are a full fledged woman and starts going insane.

2) Btms whom uses excessive beauty products

3) Keep address each other as "sister", "mommy" or "mei Mei" pisses me off

4) Become size queens becos they have seen it all and the hole wanted more

5) Older btms can be very aggressive in bed [very scary]

Conclusion - I prefer younger btms due to my experience with older btms lol

AHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHA, I doubt I will become like these.

I only know young bottoms so no comments on older bottoms, most of my awesome friends are bottom, whom I can have heaps of craze time together.

[GachiMuchi]

I am not trying to fault you but it seems you have the typical Singaporean traits of "Kia Si" (Afraid to die) and "Kia Su" (Afraid to lose), but in your case, it's more like "Kia Leng" (Afriad to BE TOO Loose).

At 19yo, you should not be worrying about such things. Instead, you should be building on your "software" to be a better person, built your personality, character, etc. Stay fit and healthy and your "hardware" will take care of themselves.

[Kolomon]

I am not trying to fault you but it seems you have the typical Singaporean traits of "Kia Si" (Afraid to die) and "Kia Su" (Afraid to lose), but in your case, it's more like "Kia Leng" (Afriad to BE TOO Loose).

At 19yo, you should not be worrying about such things. Instead, you should be building on your "software" to be a better person, built your personality, character, etc. Stay fit and healthy and your "hardware" will take care of themselves.

It's okay, maybe that's the first impression I'm showing everyone here. It's the topic I guess. Otherwise my personality is not like this, generally I have a good outlook on life. No point making myself upset over this, I'm doing something about this, hence why I come to a forum to get insights from people and then I will come to a conclusion myself and bury this issue away.

I know, I'm building on my software already, going for talks to improve myself. Going for training to become a leader. Learning new things to become a better person in life. Doing good deeds, making the world a better place to live in for my friends. No matter how small it is, it still makes someone life better.

[Guest Ironrod]

sounds like small penis syndrome... HAHAHHAHAHA

no offence but the subtext is screaming at me!

Abt penis size there is a thread regarding small penis already so we can move that discussion to there

But like what Lao Zhi says "There is only ugly, when one starts to compare. If you start comparing, you will never find the one you ever want. There will always be better ones."

[cool8]

Went through this phase before too... but found that it really is pointless to worry yourself sick about the competition because no matter how young you are, there will always be someone out there who is younger and cuter.

When you do find the person who, in your own words, can be your companion, look forward to growing old with you, learn new things together with you and do crazy things with you, then you have found a soul-mate. If you are able to connect on so many levels with him, you shouldn't have to worry so much about him constantly looking out for a younger, fresher ass. If he is, then... by logic, he isn't suited to be your life partner.

[Guest Marad44]

The future of a 19 year old Singapore gay bottom in Singapore could be more unclear than that of a 19 year old Singapore gay bottom in, say, Australia. That's one.

There is the notion that there are more gay bottoms than tops and that the gap is even greater in Asia. That's two.

Spin these two on the roulette, we end up with speculative answers which will dunk Kolomom in even greater confusion.

In the West, Kolomon's gay Asian brothers enjoy better status, being in reduced numbers and the supply-demand balance titling in their favor. 'Losing out when older' would only be a pin prick.

Edited November 8, 2011 by Marad44