Discussion On Bisexuality - Men Who Loves Both Sexes + Bi Men Share Experience (compiled)

[derryfawne]

I was in relationship with a girl before. Didn't work out for an obvious reason.

I'm gay.

And why did I even date her then? 'Cause I was still in denial.

Always been gay from the start.

End of story.

[Guest bisexual fun]

Next I've experimented with bisexual group fun and enjoyed it tremendously.

 

Can elaborate more on what you did in that bisexual group fun? e.g. what did you do with the men and what did you do with the women?

[ash12]

Can elaborate more on what you did in that bisexual group fun? e.g. what did you do with the men and what did you do with the women?

Lol, I believe the topic is regarding the transition from straight to bi and not our sexual escapades

[Guest Guest]

Lol, I believe the topic is regarding the transition from straight to bi and not our sexual escapades

just post your video lah . hehe

[SeannyShortcake]

Well, growing up, I used to think I was purely straight. Was sexually involved with girls since 17. The thought of guys never once crossed my mind. But It all started when I ventured into tranny porn at the age of 20-21 and i realized it excited me. Tried a tranny once and enjoyed playing with 'her' dick. Not into anal though. After that, I've tried my first guy and realized that it wasn't such a bad experience. Next I've experimented with bisexual group fun and enjoyed it tremendously. So I guess I changed from straight to bisexual. But now, 4 years later, my lust for guys begin to wane. The urges are only occasional. So I guess I'm confused yet again. Or maybe my female fwb is keeping me busy. Haha. Despite all that, it was all purely physical. I never thought of being romantically involved with guys, only with girls. But who knows in the future. I don't think a straight guy can never sway the other way or vice versa. I guess it all depends on where u are on the kinsey scale.

 

Heh heh..

 

We learn something new every day eh.

[joshTWjosh]

I had a gf from 15-16, and another from 17-18.

 

But I guess I hadn't "fully matured" yet haha.

[transmissionsm]

bisexual, more towards girl. I want to get married but due to my quiet nature I cannot find a gf.

 

So my sexual urge is towards men which can easily find ...but thing is HIV scares me so far only 1 top penetrated me before...enjoyed it so much but also scare to "catch" any std. If not for hiv/std I would have let myself be fuck 1000 times already :

[Guest Guest]

bisexual, more towards girl. I want to get married but due to my quiet nature I cannot find a gf.

 

So my sexual urge is towards men which can easily find ...but thing is HIV scares me so far only 1 top penetrated me before...enjoyed it so much but also scare to "catch" any std. If not for hiv/std I would have let myself be fuck 1000 times already :

I think you are a girl based on your '1,000  times'.

[Dorkable]

I was skirt chasing and falling in love with girls when I was a teenager, only because I was brought up to believe that was the norm. I brushed off my attraction to the same gender, contributing it to a part of growing up phase. Gradually, my sexual attraction towards girls diminished as I grew up while I was leaning more towards the guys. So even given the "normal" upbringing, I couldn't deny what's really inside me. Girls were really part of my growing up phase to help me identify that guys are hot.

[futaki]

I have had 2 gfs and a couple of ONS before... all my life, i was living a straight lifestyle. somewhere 4 yrs ago, my curiousity got the better of me... just started to sign up for an account in a gay website... lo and behold, i found someone like me... and we've been together ever since. We both are not out... still having our 'straight' lifestyle without anyone knowing...

[Guest Guest]

I have had 2 gfs and a couple of ONS before... all my life, i was living a straight lifestyle. somewhere 4 yrs ago, my curiousity got the better of me... just started to sign up for an account in a gay website... lo and behold, i found someone like me... and we've been together ever since. We both are not out... still having our 'straight' lifestyle without anyone knowing...

I just dedicated Stevie Wonder's 'Part-time Lover' on 90.5FM to you

[Wigo]

Any more story to share?

[Guest Guest]

Straight --> Gay --> Bisexual

 

Was straight when I was growing up but definitely has some gay friends then. Though I do think about sex with guys I always have girlfriends and one lasted for 4yrs but it has never worked out in the end as I was unsure. A few years later I dated a guy and things worked out for us and we were together for years. Unfortunately, most guys cant stand my temper and it did not worked out in the end. Recently a funny thing happened, I am attracted to girl again. So might just get married and have children since I love children

[Guest Raiden Alpha]

All phenomena arise from the mind.

Nothing is fixed especially in the intangible realm.

Especially things that cannot be seen with the five sense. It mean all things are shape and will into existence by your own heart callings.

You can be straight,gay,bisexual,pansexual or asexual. It all stem from your heart,your own will.

一念生万像

[PeterTan359]

I was gay since puberty. At that time i totally had no sexual urge towards females. I was miserable and felt sad being a gay.

After uni in my 20s, due to family pressure, i dated girls. After some time, i slowly discovered that i could be aroused when having intimate contacts with girls. Thats how i developed from gay to bi.

[randomuse]

Well, growing up, I used to think I was purely straight. Was sexually involved with girls since 17. The thought of guys never once crossed my mind. But It all started when I ventured into tranny porn at the age of 20-21 and i realized it excited me. Tried a tranny once and enjoyed playing with 'her' dick. Not into anal though. After that, I've tried my first guy and realized that it wasn't such a bad experience. Next I've experimented with bisexual group fun and enjoyed it tremendously. So I guess I changed from straight to bisexual. But now, 4 years later, my lust for guys begin to wane. The urges are only occasional. So I guess I'm confused yet again. Or maybe my female fwb is keeping me busy. Haha. Despite all that, it was all purely physical. I never thought of being romantically involved with guys, only with girls. But who knows in the future. I don't think a straight guy can never sway the other way or vice versa. I guess it all depends on where u are on the kinsey scale.

 

I agree.

[sprintkayak]

i totally agree! is there a platform for bisexual ladies and guys to post?

[EasleyLim]

They are there. They just need to hide because bis aren't particularly well-received in the gay and straight community.

[Guest Wondering]

bis aren't particularly well-received in the gay and straight community.

 

Personal view?  Any research to link?

[EasleyLim]

Personal view?  Any research to link?

 

None of them are "scientific" research tho. Last one is more of meta-analysis, the rest are opinion pieces. If you wish, you can google 'Bisexual Erasure'

 

http://www.advocate.com/commentary/2014/07/28/op-ed-nbcs-straight-washing-john-constantine-bi-erasure

http://the-artifice.com/orange-is-the-new-black-bisexual-erasure/

http://www.uic.edu/depts/quic/bisandallies/myths.html

http://www.kenjiyoshino.com/articles/epistemiccontract.pdf

Edited November 17, 2014 by EasleyLim

[upshot]

Personal view?  Any research to link?

You need to really start to reading a lot of the past threads here to get a good idea how they are seen even by the gay community here to know why they hide their true identity or to meet up in any bisexual organised event.

 

Alongside to that, the general public's view on gay and gay sex. A Bi is something thought as freaky or coward depending on who you ask be it a gay or str8. what kind of person would want to be seen fucking with both sexes.

 

You would think a gay person who have been stigmatized and discriminate for so many decades till they are now more or less gaining recognition and acceptance by the world THUS you would think they understand the plight of the Bi-sexual.. BUT NO !.. now the freed gay  are the new bigots to join in with the str8 to condemn.

 

Don't take my word for it, go read the past threads and you will see. THEN you will start to see why trying to find some hideaway or sanctuary for bisexual to share and findanswer is so hard in Singapore. the good news is, westerns are more ready to accept that but the Asian especially from those ( not all mind you) I see in blowing wind. Saddening.

[Guest Guest]

Another reason is also because bi s love to lie a lot. They are never truthful to gays at all.

Just my own opinion on most bis I have met in my gay life!

[EasleyLim]

Another reason is also because bi s love to lie a lot. They are never truthful to gays at all.

Just my own opinion on most bis I have met in my gay life!

 

^ see what I mean?

It's not like lying is exclusive or practiced predominantly by bisexuals. Everyone lies, straight or otherwise. But bisexuals are the ones that gets tagged by such labels.  

Edited November 18, 2014 by EasleyLim

[Guest Guest]

When they are tired of the gal, they will tell the gal they will hv no future and they are actually more interested in guys.

When they are tired of the guy, they will tell the guy that there is no future for them and they are actually more interested in gals.

[Guest Guest]

^ see what I mean?

It's not like lying is exclusive or practiced predominantly by bisexuals. Everyone lies, straight or otherwise. But bisexuals are the ones that gets tagged by such labels.

But lying is their forte, due to their precarious positions. Many are married. But I must admit some of them lie so much that they often go back and forth in their positions, having forgotten what they had said earlier to whom, so ended up being not very good liars.

[Guest emomomo]

It sounds like your problems isn't bisexuality people, but assholes that cheat on their existing relationships. And plenty of gay and straight people do that too.

Please avoid stereotypes.

[Guest wozzit]

But lying is their forte, due to their precarious positions. Many are married. But I must admit some of them lie so much that they often go back and forth in their positions, having forgotten what they had said earlier to whom, so ended up being not very good liars.

 

I suspect lying has to come into the equation, esp in conservative societies. But I have known several bi guys in the west who are/were married. Two had told their partners before they tied the knot. Both couples went on to hv kids - 4 and 5 respectively - n both of the guys had regular meetings with other guys which the wives knew all about. What may be different is that the meetings with other guys were purely sexual - nt romantic.

[leibniz]

Should we open BW to bisexuals and lesbians too? That'd be awesome.

[Run]

Ok,so it occurs to me that I don't get bi guys much like how straight guys don't exactly get gay guys. It's to the extent that you could call me judgmental. I mean,I'm very averse to dating bi guys cause while I may be able to accept to some degree my bf ogling at other guys,I'll feel totally insecure with the idea of him ogling at girls. Cause I've already fallen for way too many straight guys in my life that I hate the possibility of my guy having a thing for girls too.. Maybe even more than for guys,cause I know there're many bi guys who root for the 'conventional' team much more but for fun they come around to our team once in a while. I feel like these ppl are the ones so frequently mentioned by those fundamentalist Christian groups when they talk about the success of their 'conversion' therapies... So yea,you could call me a bigot in my own right but please do try to see where I'm coming from. It's just that it really sucks when you know your partner is perfectly capable of breaking up with you & marrying a girl to buy into society's pressure...

 

What I'm asking is if the bi guys could help to alleviate these concerns & worries of mine that I believe almost every gay guy who's dating,has dated or has plans to date a bi guy have had. Cause I myself don't like it that I'm in a way quite bi-phobic... I understand that it's very hard for the bi guys too. But still.. It's very hard for me to not think of such things when a potential date/bf tells me he's bi...

 

No hard feelings alright? I hope you do understand where I'm coming from. 

[GachiMuchi]

Ok,so it occurs to me that I don't get bi guys much like how straight guys don't exactly get gay guys. It's to the extent that you could call me judgmental. I mean,I'm very averse to dating bi guys cause while I may be able to accept to some degree my bf ogling at other guys,I'll feel totally insecure with the idea of him ogling at girls. Cause I've already fallen for way too many straight guys in my life that I hate the possibility of my guy having a thing for girls too.. Maybe even more than for guys,cause I know there're many bi guys who root for the 'conventional' team much more but for fun they come around to our team once in a while. I feel like these ppl are the ones so frequently mentioned by those fundamentalist Christian groups when they talk about the success of their 'conversion' therapies... So yea,you could call me a bigot in my own right but please do try to see where I'm coming from. It's just that it really sucks when you know your partner is perfectly capable of breaking up with you & marrying a girl to buy into society's pressure...

 

What I'm asking is if the bi guys could help to alleviate these concerns & worries of mine that I believe almost every gay guy who's dating,has dated or has plans to date a bi guy have had. Cause I myself don't like it that I'm in a way quite bi-phobic... I understand that it's very hard for the bi guys too. But still.. It's very hard for me to not think of such things when a potential date/bf tells me he's bi...

 

No hard feelings alright? I hope you do understand where I'm coming from. 

 

It all boils down to :

1.  You always barking up the wrong trees (falling for str8 guys)

2.  Never learn your lessons and getting hurt over and over again (Not a very bright guy who lets your emotion gets the better of you)

3.  Behaving like a girl and not thinking like a man (It seems you don't understand man)

4.  When you are ready, you will find your right person and will stay attached, otherwise you will never be able to settle down.

5.  You have to deal with your own insecurities (Insecure and controlling means you are not mature / ready for a relationship)

6.  Look inwards on what you can change and or what you can accept of others and not what others can do or not do to reassure you of your insecurities.

 

If you have such worries with bi guy, then don't date bi guys. From my understanding of your post, you seems to like manly guys and ends up they are either str8 or bi. If I am not wrong, you might be the type who might not even like gay guys. Which is why you ends up making the same mistakes over and over again.

 

I am also guessing that once you like someone, you will throw yourself and your feelings for them and ends up getting hurt when maybe all they want from you could be sex. So you keep getting hurt.

 

When you learn how to manage you feelings and think like what a man thinks, maybe you won't be in the predicament you are in.

 

** Maybe it's time you get out more ( was reading your other post and realised that you are a nerdy guy who don't go out to much. You might have lost touch with how to deal with people on a personal level.)

 

To quote you "No hard feelings alright? I hope you do understand where I'm coming from."

Edited February 3, 2015 by G_M

[Run]

Appreciate the thought dude,though I'd like to clarify a lot of points.

 

1- That was before I got to find out about gay dating apps & attend lgbt events like pink dot. Now I do try my best not to fall for str guys. But c'mon,feelings are called feelings because we can't exactly control them. I still do fall for straight guys cause my heart tells me to but my brain has learnt to not act on those feelings.. I mean,it's the same thing as how some girls might fall for gay guys. They know they could never get them (unless,like my main focus here,they're bi) but their hearts still race when they see them.

 

2- Gotta agree with you on that. I can act very irrationally when it comes to the affairs of the heart.

 

3- Could you clarify what you meant by me not understanding men? I mean,unless you tell me most guys are bi (which I find it hard to believe),I do understand men enough to have many guy friends. If I didn't understand them & behave like a girl,I would have a more than proportionate number of female friends than guy friends cause I'd identify with girls better,which is so not true in my case. To me I find girls harder to understand than guys.

 

4- Can't argue with this. I guess most of us are also looking for someone to eventually settle down with,though some might find the idea of commitment scary. I don't. In fact I value commitment. That's why for me open r/s are strictly a no-no,but that's for another day..

 

5- You got a point there. As much as I appear confident,I do hold a lot of insecurities,especially in terms of whether people would like me or not (and I'm talking in general,not even about r/s)

 

6- What I meant to ask by my post is for the bi guys to clarify with gay guys like me who have second thoughts about dating them e.g. whether they have wavering thoughts about both guys & girls even in a r/s,whether they change teams as quickly as they change their clothes,how they feel about some of the misconceptions I might have with regards to their sexuality. 

 

I do like all kinds of guys - straight,gay,bi. I mean that's the definition of being gay right? To be attracted physically/emotionally to the same sex? I'm gay doesn't mean that I'll only be attracted to fellow gay guys what.. So obviously there will be points in life where I find a bi guy very attractive in terms of his looks,personality,manners,etc. But by your logic,just because of my prejudice against them,I can never fall in love & date them,which to me is ridiculous because what if we happen to be extremely compatible?

 

Plus the reason I fell for straight guys more often in the past is because I only mixed around with straight guys. There was no opportunity for me to have met & known gay guys cause I didn't know how the community worked. Now I do chat up gay guys on various apps (not for fun) and attend lgbt events like pd. My circle is still predominantly straight,as with many guys here I believe. Unless you exclusively choose to only be friends with gay guys...

 

Your point about me throwing myself at guys I fancy is very true. That's sth I'm trying to change myself too.

 

About the last point, my nerdy doesn't mean stay-at-home,quiet,and socially awkward with no friends. What I mean by me being nerdy is my interests heavily lie in what one might consider nerdy stuff like science,politics,social issues,etc. At least to my knowledge,most guys my age don't really talk about such stuff on a regular basis,preferring to talk about more in-the-present stuff like food,what they're doing,sports,gym,etc.

 

But again all of those don't mean that I can't hold an engaging conversation with a perfect stranger at a party/event. With strangers,I'm actually surprised myself that I'm usually the one who initiates the conversation. If you knew me personally you'd know that I'm very balanced bw being extro & intro. & I do love to go out,much more than I might have you believe just by reading my posts. Although the idea of sitting around watching my favorite youtube channel at home also doesn't sound any less good.

 

So yup,ultimately,I still believe my concerns are echoed by many in the gay community,just that maybe people don't really like to talk about bi-phobia within our own community cause it's so ironic that we should be discriminating them when society at large discriminates us all. It's true,just look up about bi-phobia in the lgbt community & you'll realize everywhere it's the same - there are some gay guys who don't necessarily dislike bi guys but at the same time,are apprehensive about dating them.

 

But gay,straight,or bi,we're all humans. And humans fear what they don't understand. Which is the very reason I'm asking the bi guys if they could enlighten me on their interpersonal/romantic/sexual behavior & feelings.

 

Thanks for replying though! After all,feedback is how we all improve.

[EasleyLim]

I'm not exact sure what the bi guy can do to smooth over your insecurities. If you feel insecure about your guy having a thing for girls, that's really your problem and it's not an issue he can fix. He can tell you a million times that commitment to a relationship isnt exclusive to any one type of sexual orientation but you probably won't believe him anyway. So what's the point of trying to assure gay guys with trust issues when said gay guys can't even settle their own insecurities?

Edited February 4, 2015 by EasleyLim

[LongCurious]

Its like saying im vegetarian and im repulsed by others that love to eat meat.

[puppyfart]

I don't understand wat's zis got to do with bi guys.... gay guys are just as prone to break up with u and fall for another guy.

The heartbreak will be no less than breaking up with bi guys.

So de issue is not whether your bf is bi or not, but rather it is u, who needs to accept dat very relationship is fragile (bi, str8, gay or... bestial)

There are just no guarantees in life, enjoy what u can while u can.

Good luck nonetheless

[Guest Guest]

I think those who have second thoughts abt bi guys are just trying to minimize the possobility of the bf leaving for another person. The fact that the partner is bi already doubled the odds of that happening

[beinda1996]

So yea,you could call me a bigot in my own right but please

[SeannyShortcake]

That's great,buddy.

 

Perhaps you could consider dating girls or turning asexual.

 

That way you'll never have to worry the infinitely impossible fact that guys straying all the damn time.

[Guest Glyph]

I think those who have second thoughts abt bi guys are just trying to minimize the possobility of the bf leaving for another person. The fact that the partner is bi already doubled the odds of that happening

 

The root is the same, innit? Insecurities.

 

I'm not a very mathematical kinda person. In life, it's just 50-50. Either it happens or it doesn't.

[Guest Guest]

The root is the same, innit? Insecurities.

I'm not a very mathematical kinda person. In life, it's just 50-50. Either it happens or it doesn't.

Neithet am I. But I know female plus male population means double the risk. Especially in a homophobic society where people may succumb to marrying pressures at the end.

[Guest Glyph]

Neithet am I. But I know female plus male population means double the risk. Especially in a homophobic society where people may succumb to marrying pressures at the end.

 

You could double or triple the risk but the root is still the same. What needs to be addressed here is OP's perception of a relationship. Like what most have pointed out, his insecurities.

 

And while you're at that, bi guys aren't the only ones who succumb to domestic pressure - whether marriage is involved or not. I came out to my mom years ago. And she said specifically;

 

"It doesn't matter if you don't get married. But I'd rather see you single than being with some other guy."

 

Do you see where I'm coming from?

[Guest Guest]

He's a tall, successful, young, down to earth and very handsome guy.

His company posted him here in singapore to supervise a project, we met on tinder and agreed on a premise that we're both not looking for sex.

He smokes small cigar and know how to enjoy the finest thing in life. Everything about this guy is so appealing......

[Guest Guest]

We met nearby his hotel and I was instantly drawn to his dazzling blue eyes and outgoing personality.

But there's Only one thing that confused me, he has never slept with a guy before.

We hungout for almost 9hours from daylight to nighttime we talked about politics, travel experiences, different perceptions of cultures and lots of bullshit.

He told me he didn't want to runaway eventhough this is his first time meeting guy from mobile app and he said I was attractive. I was head over heel.

When we were about to part ways I suggested maybe we could go back to his place, he told me he didn't want to offend me and he really wanted to but he's having an ongoing battle with his sexuality and he wouldve lost the war if he sleeps with me.

the night wasn't ruined though, we still hungout for a lil bit longer because honestly, I just liked spending time with him....

So have anyone experienced or meet with a bisexual guy b4? Or do u believe in bisexuality?

[Friendly]

For me i think bisexual guys just want to have fun and to do things in bed that their girl friend or wife don like to do for them like bj. I would have to say don waste time with them.. It will only hurt you. 

[upshot]

For me i think bisexual guys just want to have fun and to do things in bed that their girl friend or wife don like to do for them like bj. I would have to say don waste time with them.. It will only hurt you. 

Bro, you speaking as a medical doctor or expert in the field?

 

You know what they use to say about gay men and gay sex decades ago? That gay is a lifestyle not someone you are born as. Or what a religion nut job also will say of gay people who have gay sex ?

 

Are you speaking from a scientifuc background or out of post-gay bigotry ?

[Guest Guest]

Bro, you speaking as a medical doctor or expert in the field?

You know what they use to say about gay men and gay sex decades ago? That gay is a lifestyle not someone you are born as. Or what a religion nut job also will say of gay people who have gay sex ?

Are you speaking from a scientifuc background or out of post-gay bigotry ?

Post-gay? you sound a lot like Sue Sylvester. Since when had sexuality been accurately described by medical doctors. They are about as clueless as the person on the street, and only knew how to throw jargons around. Unless he or she isn't christian and is one of us, there is no chance he or she might know something!

[oralb]

alright back to the topic

 

Since the TS said he enjoyed the time, why not stay that way? Assuming that guy is being truthful to TS, then it will take time and effort for him to make up his mind. that guy is definitely confused on his identify and has not come to ease with himself

 

So what's TS intention?

Friendship - well TS has already gotten it

Sex - I would advise TS not to waste his time, as it may not even happen after TS invest his time

LTR - I would think this is even a longer shot as he is only based here on project basis

[upshot]

Post-gay? you sound a lot like Sue Sylvester. Since when had sexuality been accurately described by medical doctors. They are about as clueless as the person on the street, and only knew how to throw jargons around. Unless he or she isn't christian and is one of us, there is no chance he or she might know something!

 

"Post Gay" is a mile stone period that show the highest level of accepance by most civilised nations in the world. Maybe you are too young to know or you have taken it all for granted. But us older generations can remember thos days of what it was like to be prejudiced against and called many nasty names and attaching unfounded stigma against us.

 

 

 

On a side note: It's funny how people with proper ID would suddenly switch to "guest" mode to sheepisly write something contratry to who they are when using theri actual long term IDs. You do know that your IP can be tracked and identify and it can be links by data tracing to know who you are right? How you think police or forum owners..etc can track people who write certain kinds of seditious forums..etc. It's whether they want to take action or just use it when it matters most then reveal that.

Edited March 9, 2015 by upshot

[dcx2210]

For me i think bisexual guys just want to have fun and to do things in bed that their girl friend or wife don like to do for them like bj. I would have to say don waste time with them.. It will only hurt you. 

let's us all not be judgemental on others. we are not mind readers so let's not assume so much or let a few bad apple ruined your opinion about them. chill!

[EasleyLim]

Bi-erasure in the gay community? How surprising. And here I thought the the B in LGBT stands for bisexuals. Haha, silly me.

[mamamia]

Don't fall in love with him yet , don't inititaite , if he is keen on you he will make the first call, otherwise move on and forget about the whole thing, don't want u to get hurt ...