Of Love Struggles & Cries Of A Married Gay Man + Cheating Married Men Leading Dual Life (compiled)

[Guest Sporty]

How old are you Sporty ?

I'm in the beginning of my 40s! Does age really affects my loneliness?

[chubachub9]

I never ask hook-ups to meet at my home, just in case things turn bad and they come around looking for my wife to percha-lobang!

Any married guys out here have their affairs turn sour, and then have the boyfriends threaten to expose all to the wives?

[Guest Stewed Rabbit]

It reminds me of Fatal Attraction in the movie and the hands that rock the cradle. Jealousy is the most dangerous sickness and can be life threatening. Be warned!

[Guest Guest]

My friend said somebody here is stalking him and deleting all his postings. Why? This forum is so sneaky to do things behind people's back? How can we trust this place anymore?

[Guest Once Married]

We all can get lonely regardless of our age, but when one gets older, it is more so depending on the circumstances and what you yearn for. For married guys, when you get older and your children have grown up, you are less tied up and that's when have time on your disposal to think of your secret desire. Being married, we cannot do alot of things that the single and especially the outed do.

We can lessen our degree of loneliness by engaging in some sports, hobbies etc.

Sporty, beginning of 40s and you feel lonely, wait till you are like me 60+.....old and ugly.....haha!

[Guest Peace54]

First

KNOW YOUR FEARS

- fear of getting disease

- fear of being with gayish guys and be seen by colleagues

- fear of getting out of closet and can't resist temptation

- fear of being discoverd by family

KNOW WHAT YOU DONT WANT

- dont want to harm your family

- dont want to be disturbed by persistent guys

- dont want anal and oral, risky acts

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

- just want to have simple fun

- just want to have hangout buddies to share thoughts with and have simple fun as well

DONT BE SCARE OF SAYING NO

Snowball is correct, once you are out, you will slowly open up to more and more risky behaviours unless you are able to exercise self control. TAKE NOTE. ORAL AND ANAL IS NOT SAFE.

[Guest Peace54]

Ya Bimarriedtampchn hit the point right. I been having this thoughts for years afraid to have fun with guys who want anal or oral afraid of catching of disease. then again i want to have fun. not many guys want to have fun the way I want to.

[Guest Guest]

try me

Ya Bimarriedtampchn hit the point right. I been having this thoughts for years afraid to have fun with guys who want anal or oral afraid of catching of disease. then again i want to have fun. not many guys want to have fun the way I want to.

[Guest Nin An]

Why u get older u worry if u can still be attracting men or can perform.

Then you want to try before it's too late. Find it very syok. Then you get hook and try more and more. Then you try overseas. Then .....

[mamamia]

I'm in the beginning of my 40s! Does age really affects my loneliness?

Early 40s is still a young age. You still have a good lifetime ahead.

My take is that you must know what you want.

Ask yourself do you truly love your wife ? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with her ? Are u thinking of guys when you make love with her ?

Or you simply have no passion or feeling with her anymore ...?

And are you prepared to give up your marriage life and lead the life you have been longing for - ie to be in love with a man ?

But giving up your marriage may not necessary mean that you would find the love of your life ? Would your life be worst if you divorce ?

Perhaps you can write to : Bonnie Kayle at BonKayle@aol.com

She has done messive study and she is an expert in handling gay husband issues.

[tyan]

Have you guys try to get into a religion and study what you are lacking in life?

Looks like it is the route many older people will take.

[tyan]

I engage myself in gym and swim so much to occupy myself everyday. I build up a nice fit body. My wife can't appreciate my fit body. She always say that a man must build his brain not the body and it's useless too be hunky.

Does this contribute to my loneliness and struggle for men deeper after my marriage?

Hi sporty,

If your wife dun appreciate your fit body. Let me worship it!

[Guest Sporty]

Hi Guys

Thanks for all the replies. Really appreciate! Thanks

[Guest iPhone]

In a husband/wife relationship, sometimes, such talks are not the problem itself. She may (I say may, just a possibility) say this because you might have spent a little to much time at the gym. Or she expected you to help with somethings in the house but you might have neglected to do it. Or somethings lese. Could try to look at the bigger picture and see if there are other latent issues.

I engage myself in gym and swim so much to occupy myself everyday. I build up a nice fit body. My wife can't appreciate my fit body. She always say that a man must build his brain not the body and it's useless too be hunky.

Does this contribute to my loneliness and struggle for men deeper after my marriage?

[Guest Guest]

Are you...

"

•Feeling a need for adventure and change.

•Questioning the choices, you have made in your lives and the validity of decisions you made years before.

•Confusion about who you are and where you are going.

•Anger at your spouse and blame for feeling tied down.

•Unable to make decisions about where you want to go with your life.

•Doubt that you ever loved your spouse and resentment over the marriage.

•A desire for a new and passionate, intimate relationship.

"

These are the symptoms of mid life crisis

Read more here

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/isdivorcethesolution/f/midlifecrisis.htm

[Guest Guest]

I am also married, have 2 kids and I fully understand the feeling of our married brothers here. Although, I am very tempted to have sexual contact, I stayed away for just one reason...STDs...especially the dirtiest of them....HIV. Whenever I am horny for men, I feel awful and lonely...I just surf the web...look at the gorgeous guys...do a self release and when I cummed, I am in control again.

Here is an interesting article about our foreign brothers who are in the same boat:-

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-am-in-love-with-my-wife-but.html

[Guest Guest]

I never ask hook-ups to meet at my home, just in case things turn bad and they come around looking for my wife to percha-lobang!

Any married guys out here have their affairs turn sour, and then have the boyfriends threaten to expose all to the wives?

Asking for it and deserving it isn't it?

[Guest Sporty]

I am also married, have 2 kids and I fully understand the feeling of our married brothers here. Although, I am very tempted to have sexual contact, I stayed away for just one reason...STDs...especially the dirtiest of them....HIV. Whenever I am horny for men, I feel awful and lonely...I just surf the web...look at the gorgeous guys...do a self release and when I cummed, I am in control again.

Here is an interesting article about our foreign brothers who are in the same boat:-

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-am-in-love-with-my-wife-but.html

Ya same here. But the problem is, I'll feel very bad and guilty after that. The worst is I'll feel more to have guys after this.

[Guest Sporty]

I am also married, have 2 kids and I fully understand the feeling of our married brothers here. Although, I am very tempted to have sexual contact, I stayed away for just one reason...STDs...especially the dirtiest of them....HIV. Whenever I am horny for men, I feel awful and lonely...I just surf the web...look at the gorgeous guys...do a self release and when I cummed, I am in control again.

Here is an interesting article about our foreign brothers who are in the same boat:-

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-am-in-love-with-my-wife-but.html

Sorry, the above key in wrongly

Ya same here. But the problem is, I'll feel very bad and guilty after that. The worst is I'll feel more to have guys after this.

[Bengish]

There are many single man out there, why pick a married man ?

Good question: Why pick a married man?

Truth or not, sometimes things cannot be explained WHY!

[cw30]

Ya same here. But the problem is, I'll feel very bad and guilty after that. The worst is I'll feel more to have guys after this.

If you just want to have sexual contact with a male, either you do it once for all OR forget about it and focus on other healthy stuff. It is unhealthy to yourself and your family if you are struggling with this issue of yours.

Just go to any establishment where you know where is it, fulfill your desire and get over it.

Edited November 20, 2010 by cw30

[Guest Ivan]

If you just want to have sexual contact with a male, either you do it once for all OR forget about it and focus on other healthy stuff. It is unhealthy to yourself and your family if you are struggling with this issue of yours.

Just go to any establishment where you know where is it, fulfill your desire and get over it.

I've tried that before. It did satisfy my lust at that time but I felt terribly guilty after that. Also its terrible to just fool around with people we don't know. Perhaps it might be better to find a more permanent and close male friend who can be a companion, fun buddy (when horny) and with no strings attached. With people who are also facing similar situation.

[Guest Fantasy]

There's good discussion and sharing of viewpoints here. I'm also a married but unlike most, I'm already 62. I do not consider myself "over the hills"' as I consider myself still sexually active. I jog and go the gym regularly to keep my body in good form. I've a good family and I cherish that. Having read the bw articles and sharing of stories, I do sometimes fantasize how I wish I could be young again and experience the ropes of what it takes to be like one of the brothers here. Women once they have attained menopause are less likely to be interested in sex and so the married men become lonely. Any views on this?

[Guest Guest]

You linke sex and loneliness ? Having no sex mean lonely ? hmm

There's good discussion and sharing of viewpoints here. I'm also a married but unlike most, I'm already 62. I do not consider myself "over the hills"' as I consider myself still sexually active. I jog and go the gym regularly to keep my body in good form. I've a good family and I cherish that. Having read the bw articles and sharing of stories, I do sometimes fantasize how I wish I could be young again and experience the ropes of what it takes to be like one of the brothers here. Women once they have attained menopause are less likely to be interested in sex and so the married men become lonely. Any views on this?

[Guest Fantasy]

Lonely when you do not have a partner to engage you sexually...yes, that's what I was referring to lol.

[cw30]

no offence here but there is always batam or geylang for sexual active men in their prime age. as long as they wipe their mouth clean.

[Guest Guest]

Sorry, there are many gay massage parlours, call boys, and even bangkok for company /buddy with no strings attached.

[MarriedGUY]

Hi Married Man,

I am married too. I can understand how you feel; guilt and fear V desire. It is a big struggle to balance; a life long struggle.

One of the best thing to do in order not to get "disease", find a committed married buddy who is careful, mature, discreet and willing 121. And more importantly, not emotionally sticky.

And please find someone you can trust to open your heart to. Someone not judgemental and open minded and preferably bi and married. Sometimes, from sharing, you find a moments of release.

[Guest ben06]

Sorry, there are many gay massage parlours, call boys, and even bangkok for company /buddy with no strings attached.

Thanks. Are you able to suggest parlors and saunas that are comfortable for the seniors? Fantasy.

[Guest Guest]

Ya.. its not easy to be Bi while married.. sigh..sometimes, craving for some body warmth or touches with another guy..not into anal though, just hugging,touching and handjob would be nice..already almost 50 but still in pretty good shape..hopefully can be fren with ppl in the same background..

[Guest guest]

Ya.. its not easy to be Bi while married.. sigh..sometimes, craving for some body warmth or touches with another guy..not into anal though, just hugging,touching and handjob would be nice..already almost 50 but still in pretty good shape..hopefully can be fren with ppl in the same background..

Yes, i married man also prefer some body warmth or touches with another senior / mature guy..not into anal though, just hugging,touching and handjob would be nice..

[Guest findingmyself]

I have been dating a married guy for 6 months now and it all started with me just being who i am and being a good listener.My friend didnt have anybody he could talk too about his problems at work, problems at home and sexually too and thats where i came in. It all started with us just being friends to close friends and then with each day we became closer and closer till one day we started using the love word. From that day onwards we became a couple and we met more and more often and even went out on dates. Dating a married guy is not easy and you know you have to share his time with his family too and have to have lots of patience about it too. I would think many married guys just need a good friend or somebody who cant understand them or just somebody who wouldnt judge them is what they are looking for. My married friend is now in a fixed as he loves his family and now loves me too.He finds it difficult to have sex with his wife as he is having sex with me and can only have sex with one. My heart is torn as i love him too but cant imagine him leaving his family and the shame he would go thru so abit lost too of what to do.

My thoughts to married guys who want to have fun outside, as long you get married responsibility comes with it. If you want to live your life then you have to sacrifice one. As long you get married and have a bf and want both then you have a big problem and actually you cant win. Its not easy being the married Bi guy and also being the gay guy who falls for a married man.

[Guest Guest99]

I have been dating a married guy for 6 months now and it all started with me just being who i am and being a good listener.My friend didnt have anybody he could talk too about his problems at work, problems at home and sexually too and thats where i came in. It all started with us just being friends to close friends and then with each day we became closer and closer till one day we started using the love word. From that day onwards we became a couple and we met more and more often and even went out on dates. Dating a married guy is not easy and you know you have to share his time with his family too and have to have lots of patience about it too. I would think many married guys just need a good friend or somebody who cant understand them or just somebody who wouldnt judge them is what they are looking for. My married friend is now in a fixed as he loves his family and now loves me too.He finds it difficult to have sex with his wife as he is having sex with me and can only have sex with one. My heart is torn as i love him too but cant imagine him leaving his family and the shame he would go thru so abit lost too of what to do.

My thoughts to married guys who want to have fun outside, as long you get married responsibility comes with it. If you want to live your life then you have to sacrifice one. As long you get married and have a bf and want both then you have a big problem and actually you cant win. Its not easy being the married Bi guy and also being the gay guy who falls for a married man.

I feel that a married man who is falling in love with a man or can only romantically in love with a man is living in a lie ; it's going to be very tired for him and also unfair to his wife. He should just leave the wife and pursue his true love. Yet , he can still take care of his family financially and visit the children on a regular basis.

By the way , how old is your friend ? How many years he had marries and how many children he has and how old are there ?

[fatguy]

Having been with a married man before...... i learn one thing... u have to let go.

in the end.... 99.9% of the time he will choose his family over his "boytoy" that's just the way it works here... gay relationships are still taboo. hence... it all just physical.

[Guest Guest]

Gay saunas like tmc & shogun are frequented by many older men. Massage parlours are abundant in S'pore, u just need to check the directory. As long as you hv moolah, 'short-time' male companionship with no strings attached is not a 'Fantasy'.

[Guest darkflame]

Personally, I'll never forgive myself if I dated a married man.

I understand true love matters but there are other factors to consider too. I'm not going to be a family wrecker because I come from a broken one.

So I would prefer to keep my relationship with a married man at the companion level but not anything beyond that. If he is the one trying to woo me, I think I might just remind him what's more important to him and then cut off all contact with him to let him ponder.

Marriage is something not to be treated lightly. Once married, whether gay or not, you have to take care of your spouse.

Even if you don't remember saying the vow anymore, it's a fact you have said it and you have to honour it.

Especially for young families, think of the children who suffer from having to see their parents divorced. Some can accept it but not all.

Regardless of sexual orientation, I believe all men will develop a paternal instinct of varying degrees once their children are born. So family is chosen over love. Some men regret leaving their families for the passion of love, only to find out they miss their children so much yet unable to meet them often or never.

Just some thoughts I would like to pen down with regard to the issue of relationships with married men.

[armstrong]

Ya.. its not easy to be Bi while married.. sigh..sometimes, craving for some body warmth or touches with another guy..not into anal though, just hugging,touching and handjob would be nice..already almost 50 but still in pretty good shape..hopefully can be fren with ppl in the same background..

Hope to find someone alike in times of need, though not for ltr..mutual understanding of needs..

[Guest guest]

Ya.. its not easy to be Bi while married.. sigh..sometimes, craving for some body warmth or touches with another guy..not into anal though, just hugging,touching and handjob would be nice..already almost 50 but still in pretty good shape..hopefully can be fren with ppl in the same background..

Hope to find someone alike in times of need, though not for ltr..mutual understanding of needs..

you can msn me

[armstrong]

you can msn me

Sorry, how to msn or email you?? thx

[olderadmirer]

Sorry, how to msn or email you?? thx

hi, please check your email. i had sent to u already.

[Guest Alamak]

if i dare to write here about it means i m not afraid of wat other ppl say already

and yes whenever i read such stories of how the mistress so shameless show up at the house or make a scene to the press like liang zhi qiang case, i m sorry i won't pity him,he deserve it! yes i pity the wife

but who will pity me?

if someone can go through all these just to take revenge, u can imagine how hurt i was then!

i was not even a sunday church goer yet he always encourage me to go church and even ask me to join him

of course i felt he is god sent! hahahhaha. anyway i m still not a sunday church goer till now

but i m glad i took the revenge look at the bright side, he is now openly gay and can live as a gay person rather than hide his identity now

now i want to see wat is this acjc principal case like............

If you are not afraid what others say, why not put out your real name???

[Guest Enough is Enough]

ppl who are not in my shoes will never know the hurt i went through!

everything so sweet by him and suddenly he is disappeared without a word, no replies from sms, no pick up my calls

ppl will always judge from tv series, that the mistress is always the bad one, its the foxy devil, they will condamn the mistress, she deserve it!

now i was once the mistress i do not think this way anymore, u think i want to be the mistress? u think i want all these to happen to me? you think i can predict?

ppl will always say u jolly well know he is married yet u still go with him? you deserve it!

i wish emotions is something that can be explain n controlled well. He was so sweet and nice to me that i just fell

logger heads into it...........

who would have thought a fellow christian will do this to another fellow christian again.......

yes i was revengeful, i was all out to be!

i m not sure if i m the first or the how many victims in his life

but i told myself i m going to be so revengeful that he will forever regret ever doing such a thing to another gay fellow and knowing me!

i want him to loose and get as much hurt as possible of how i feel!

i want him never to do this to another fellow gay again

that was years ago and i m very happy now, i don't care wat ppl say, i know i did the right thing to teach this guy a lesson from toying us gays!

i did see him on the streets some time back, well he is now out of shape, and thinning hair, face looks haggard, totally not my type anymore, no more feelings!

and i m happily attached!

The thing about people like you is that you have such enormous hatred and retribution in your mind that you cannot deal with loss. Experience tells me that even if he had come to you and tried to end it peacefully, you would have reacted the same way. People like you are usually lowly educated and have low EQ.

You never see the bigger picture and are just selfish, choosing to harm others and third parties just to get your satisfaction. I had a few exes like that before. Even when I sit them down and try to end things peacefully because of mutual differences, they go all crazy and choose to harm me and my family as they see it as a way to cope with their loss and lack of love.

C'mon. This is not some life and death matter that requires ridiculous exacting of revenge. If someone leaves you, move on. I've been left before too but you don't see people like me going all crazy.

I know this contradicts what I've been saying, but I really have enough of people like you. (Four exes to be exact) So I hope you get AIDS and die.

[Guest In same Boat]

Ya.. its not easy to be Bi while married.. sigh..sometimes, craving for some body warmth or touches with another guy..not into anal though, just hugging,touching and handjob would be nice..already almost 50 but still in pretty good shape..hopefully can be fren with ppl in the same background..

Hope to find someone alike in times of need, though not for ltr..mutual understanding of needs..

I am in similar circumstance as you and also hv those cravings you describe.

Certainly,Not into LTR, but wish to connect up with you to pursue mutual interests in times of need.

I am not a member, hope you can give your email address?

[Guest AnnoyedPerson]

The thing about people like you is that you have such enormous hatred and retribution in your mind that you cannot deal with loss. Experience tells me that even if he had come to you and tried to end it peacefully, you would have reacted the same way. People like you are usually lowly educated and have low EQ.

You never see the bigger picture and are just selfish, choosing to harm others and third parties just to get your satisfaction. I had a few exes like that before. Even when I sit them down and try to end things peacefully because of mutual differences, they go all crazy and choose to harm me and my family as they see it as a way to cope with their loss and lack of love.

C'mon. This is not some life and death matter that requires ridiculous exacting of revenge. If someone leaves you, move on. I've been left before too but you don't see people like me going all crazy.

I know this contradicts what I've been saying, but I really have enough of people like you. (Four exes to be exact) So I hope you get AIDS and die.

I am sorry but I feel that your last few words were pretty extreme isn't it? I mean, you're trying to get them to be cool headed and be less hateful, ironically, you sound even more hateful than them right now. "Hope you get AIDs and die"?! Seriously? Like this sentence would create peace? Worst, you made a condescending remark like "people like you are usually lowly educated and have low EQ". I hope that you yourself could be less hateful. Everyone has the right to do what they want to, whatever happens, we have to live with the consequences. Whether they regret what they did or not is their decision. You're not them, so you would not understand their loss. Just like I'm not you so I would not understand your loss. But I believe that there is no need to hurl such hurtful comments if what you truly want is for people to be more rational and cool headed in future. If I did offend you in any way, I apologize. I'm just annoyed with "I hope you get AIDS and die."

[Guest Enough is Enough]

I am sorry but I feel that your last few words were pretty extreme isn't it? I mean, you're trying to get them to be cool headed and be less hateful, ironically, you sound even more hateful than them right now. "Hope you get AIDs and die"?! Seriously? Like this sentence would create peace? Worst, you made a condescending remark like "people like you are usually lowly educated and have low EQ". I hope that you yourself could be less hateful. Everyone has the right to do what they want to, whatever happens, we have to live with the consequences. Whether they regret what they did or not is their decision. You're not them, so you would not understand their loss. Just like I'm not you so I would not understand your loss. But I believe that there is no need to hurl such hurtful comments if what you truly want is for people to be more rational and cool headed in future. If I did offend you in any way, I apologize. I'm just annoyed with "I hope you get AIDS and die."

I guess that was a little too caustic and I probably shouldn't have said that.

But sometimes these people can be so selfish, so vindictive that they will go out of their way just to ruin your life and the lives of people around you. Relationships and connections you have maintained can all come crashing down when someone out there has every intention to harm you so that you will be unable to pick yourself up after he leaves.

It's ironic. That someone can love you and then do all this to you, and say that he loves you too much. They make it sound like a profession of love and passion, but it's basically saying if I can't have you, no one else can, not even your family and friends. And the most ridiculous part is that they hope you come back to them so that they will stop all their revenge! Like why would anyone return to that after seeing all the havoc wrecked?

Anyway that was a digression. I'm just really aghast at what he did to ruin a family.

The reason why i say he is lowly educated is because C'mon. You are having an affair with a married man. In what infernal world would you think he would give up everything he has including his family for you? He should have just walked away from it, and more so seen it coming. The reason why I said he has low EQ is quite obvious. And the reason for generalising is because anyone who agrees with his actions should all fall into the same boat.

[Guest Guest]

you deserve it, i did the same thing to another married who i see for 3 months and can say i love u even

fxxk me raw a few times even and one day with no indication of ending fxxk me raw and disappeared from my life

i was totally heart broken

i totally seek revenge

i went to search for his flat and waited at his car, put all our photos n facts on it and his wife saw

call his nos when i know its his family day together every weekend until he got to change his nos

i went to his church to look for him and told his wife who i m

i went to his work place area where he always eat, i pour coffee over his clothes in front of his colleagues and told them this is the fxxking idiot who is a fxxking gay and yet so irresponsible and walk off

now i m happy, he is just like u , lost everything!

guys, becareful who ppl like such ppl who toil your feeling!

I hope someday the person who has lost everything because of you and now has nothing to loose comes back and really make you loose everything. You think your revenge is smart? You may not be the one having the last laugh.

[Guest Guest]

I know this contradicts what I've been saying, but I really have enough of people like you. (Four exes to be exact) So I hope you get AIDS and die.

Wow, you're over-reacting ! make people think that you're in fact Dr Ong

[Guest onceagayalwaysgay]

Wow, you're over-reacting ! make people think that you're in fact Dr Ong

wow didn't know this thread still got people writing to condamn me, totally forgotten about it, long move on after the revenge, totally happy and satified hahaaha, i am prefectly ok with it, I dare to do it and i dare to write it here, obviously couldn't care less what you guys say about me

my story is meant to be a lesson to all the married man out there, you play with peoples feelings, then be prepared for people like me, i make sure you regret ever to know a person like me to the your death bed.

of course my story is also for people who get involved with married man, be it whatever the turn out be like, you have to be really strong and be prepared, becos you will always be condamn by society and even your own gay brothers for your involvement with a married man

yes i m STILL happily attached........as for him he may have lost everything then but through this episode, he does not live a fake life anymore

his whole family knows he is gay by now and he can really live life as a gay person now

[Guest Hurt b4 2]

I hope someday the person who has lost everything because of you and now has nothing to loose comes back and really make you loose everything. You think your revenge is smart? You may not be the one having the last laugh.

It may seem evil to some but having being through something similar I can empathize with oncegayalwaysgay.

Love betrayal is a very strong emotion.

From the moment we met and he tried to get into my pants, I rejected him. I was too good for him. He tried and tried for months till I softened and went dinner with him at his nice condo. Ended up being date raped by him. At my age of late 30 and always being a top, I was devastated because he screwed me raw twice and I was full of his sperm inside me. The fear of getting Aids and trying to wash his sperm out was scary. Added to that my ass was sore and bloody red.

I went back to beat him up and surprisingly he took my few hard blows without ducking. He fell down and was bleeding and crying. I was afraid that I went too far so I helped him to nurse his wounds. One thing led to another, his sweet and strong will to woo me even if I can hurt him, I was touched.

He sure knew how to romance me with flowers, chocolates, sweet sms to pacify me when I scolded him for treating me like a lady which made me uncomfortable. Then he offered me free holiday in Bangkok with him and free shopping. Of course being in the same hotel room and after those sexy shows, eventually we made love.

Yes I knew he planned everything. I fell for it all willingly because after all so much effort he must be crazy about me as he always said. He will always take care of me. He's rich and I'm relatively poor, yes I was blinded by his money. Who doesn't like being driven in a Merc and dine in nice hotels?

And for that I only had my body to offer because I am not well educated. The sex was fantastic.

Alas it lasted only more than a year and he soon started calling less and less till one day he stopped totally. I called him only to find his number no more in service. Tried to go to his condo and the security guard said he was not home though I saw his BMW went in and out before.

Hard to believe that so much sweet words that he promised me were just empty. How can he even lie and lie and lie and I believed in every word he said and was in a dream like state feeling so loved like our fav song's lyrics

I've got sunshine

On a cloudy day

When it's cold outside

I've got the month of May

I guess you'd say

What can make me feel this way?

My girl

(My girl, my girl)

Talkin' 'bout my girl

(My girl)

I've got so much honey

the bees envy me

I've got a sweeter song than

the birds in the trees

I guess you'll say

What can make me feel this way?

My girl

(My girl, my girl)

Talkin' 'bout my girl

(My girl)

Hey hey hey

Hey hey hey

Ooooh...

I don't need no money,

fortune or fame

I've got all the riches baby

one man can claim

Well I guess you'll say

What can make me feel this way?

My girl

(My girl, my girl)

Talkin' 'bout my girl

(My girl)

Yes the song is about My Girl and he played it when he made love to me. He said it was so romantic and he whispered the lyrics into my ears.

Doesn't that give you an idea of his extreme tactics to lie all the way into my heart? Being the macho type that I was I don't give my heart that easily if not for his extreme tactics.

Yet....why did he have to do that if he don't love me? Is my body really worth that much effort when he could just buy young fit men in Bangkok. They are better than me. How can my heart not melt under such extreme tactics?

With all these confusing behaviours from him, I can only draw one conclusion that he simply enjoyed it like a game of toying with my feelings. Nothing is more satisfying than to bring down the pride of a man who look down on him initially. My greatest anger was being so easily read by him that I may look tough outside but was so soft inside and easily manipulated like a money grabbing woman. And I fell for it. Was it my stupid fault or was he too evil?

He got his revenge, hence I seek mine too. An eye for an eye. Let the world go blind for all I care because I am no weakling to trifle with. He should know that from the start when I beat the shit out of him. Nothing is too evil for a mf bastard like him. What had I done to him to deserve this? He's ugly and every knew that then why not take revenge on everybody then. Why me, why me? Was I just an interesting challenge game for him to hunt down and "kill"?

[Guest Once Married]

Lonely when you do not have a partner to engage you sexually...yes, that's what I was referring to lol.

But do you mean if you can have sex with your wife, you wont be lonely. In other words, can sex with a woman makes you happy? If that is the case it is easier solved, there are so many available in Geylang alone.