[Hiv Support Group] Living A Life Being Hiv+ & Living With Someone Who Is Hiv+ (Compiled)

[Guest brian87]

hey there, just wanna say we'll be there for you, stay strong alright! Technology is definitely progressing fast, and I'm sure a reasonably priced AIDS cure will soon be available!

There's already at least a case of patient being successfully treated!

http://www.naturalnews.com/032457_AIDS_stem_cells.html

Do call the AFA hotline!I'm sure they'll be able to help you!It's good to bolster up your immune system from now onwards too, by eating more fruits and veggies. If you need someone to talk to,feel free to add me in msn /message me here alright! All the best for you!

[Guest confuse]

in the first place (afraid) how and where u got hiv from? was it at the sauna or was it from yr bf?did u play raw sex? or did u mix poppers and drugs that cause yr blood test to be positive? and how come u got no fever since u say u are positive?

[GachiMuchi]

Here are some previous posting on the topic of HIV & Aids.

http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=18158 - HIV / AIDS Discussion

http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=1789 - Living with - Being HIV+

Hope it would help. If you still have question, I would suggest that you speak with those from AFA. They have counselors there that can help you with answering all your questions which you had asked.

Don't give up. Being HIV is not a death sentence these days. Good luck and take care.

[GachiMuchi]

tsktsk. play too much... have sex too much.... play somemore lah

Jeremy,

What you wrote is uncalled for and because of your anti-social behaviour, I am suspending you for 1 week for being insensitive.

And I do agree with those whom had posted in reply to your post that "If you had nothing good to say, just shut your CB mouth".

I hope you learn something today because we are all in the same boat. What makes you think you are immune to HIV? You are not.

[Guest Guest]

Jeremy,

What you wrote is uncalled for and because of your anti-social behaviour, I am suspending you for 1 week for being insensitive.

And I do agree with those whom had posted in reply to your post that "If you had nothing good to say, just shut your CB mouth".

I hope you learn something today because we are all in the same boat. What makes you think you are immune to HIV? You are not.

:clap:

[Wilaemina]

Dear -afraid-,

I first want you to realize that you will not be walking this long walk alone. I'm a healthcare professional and I would sincerely like to take this long walk with you as a friend. I would also like to answer your questions personally. Do drop me a message and let me help you? Having HIV is NOT the end of the world and trust me on that, I've been a nurse for 7 years and I've seen success stories. Drop me a message and I'll help you go through this long journey together. Sometimes, all it takes is a friend who doesn't judge and is willing to make sacrifices.

[kimlo777]

I did a project with HIV/AIDS and saw many HIV+ people living life just like us... except that they need to dliigently take their medication everyday. HIV/AIDS is no longer a life sentence. With the medication they can live a normal life up to more than 20 years. The proprietary (branded) medication are expensive but less so now compared to 5 years ago. However, many Singaporeans purchase the generic (non-branded) medicine from Thailand and I was given to understand it costs less than $250 per month. You need not fly to Thailand yourself. AFA organises a pool of couriers who go to Thailand to buy the drugs. If you cannot afford (and is able to show cause), organisations like Tzu Chi will pay for your medication. Pick up the phone and call AFA for more information.

[GachiMuchi]

Dear -afraid-,

I first want you to realize that you will not be walking this long walk alone. I'm a healthcare professional and I would sincerely like to take this long walk with you as a friend. I would also like to answer your questions personally. Do drop me a message and let me help you? Having HIV is NOT the end of the world and trust me on that, I've been a nurse for 7 years and I've seen success stories. Drop me a message and I'll help you go through this long journey together. Sometimes, all it takes is a friend who doesn't judge and is willing to make sacrifices.

I am allowing this post of your, but this is a one off case and I am overlooking my shoulder over this ad on the Main forum.

Dear Afraid,

Please sign up as a member so that others whom like Wilaemina can private message (PM) you. At the same time those members whom are HIV+ or those who wants to extend their friendship to fellow HIV+ sufferers can also get in touch with you.

[Wilaemina]

A warm thanks to the moderator. My assurance that my intentions are sincere. Being a nurse and a volunteer with AFA, I would sincerely like to help and I can share certain insights. I'm a HIV/AIDS champion in my polytechnic last time and I have sincere intentions. Once again, sincere thanks to the moderator and -afraid-, chin up, everyone in this community is behind you.

[paperpuncher]

tsktsk. play too much... have sex too much.... play somemore lah

As much as I appreciate the freedom of speech, your response shows a lack of empathy and even if this is your true cynical self, you could have kept it to yourself instead of mocking at the threadstarter who is already at the verge of emotional and mental breakdown.

I would very much like to be a jerk and troll in all the threads you posted in BW as way of showing the rest my disgust for you, but you are not worth the effort.

Yours truly,

Edited May 1, 2012 by paperpuncher

[GachiMuchi]

Paperpuncher,

He is a young prick and like many youngsters, a few in the news recently can be unsympathetic and hv little or no empathy. We don't need to start a lynch mob to get blood and by me suspending him, lets hope it's enough for him to learn his lesson.

So everyone, Please GET BACK ON TOPIC. It's about Afraid and not about some juvenile jerks.

[Guest cactus]

Shut your mouth up ! You are a bloody bastard and a fxxking retard ! ! !

Sorry that after thinking for few times, I decided to flame Jeremy!

I wish there is a button so called as " HATE" instead of "like" ! You definately will score!

As much as I appreciate the freedom of speech, your response shows a lack of empathy and even if this is your true cynical self, you could have kept it to yourself instead of mocking at the threadstarter who is already at the verge of emotional and mental breakdown.

Please do not condemn him. People do say wrong things at wrong time.

I am sure he did not mean it.

Jeremy,

What you wrote is uncalled for and because of your anti-social behaviour, I am suspending you for 1 week for being insensitive.

And I do agree with those whom had posted in reply to your post that "If you had nothing good to say, just shut your CB mouth".

I hope you learn something today because we are all in the same boat. What makes you think you are immune to HIV? You are not.

He just 心直口快。

Give Jeremy a chance bah. No need to suspend him.

Everybody made mistake mah.

Edited May 1, 2012 by cactus

[samsara]

Jeremy,

What you wrote is uncalled for and because of your anti-social behaviour, I am suspending you for 1 week for being insensitive.

And I do agree with those whom had posted in reply to your post that "If you had nothing good to say, just shut your CB mouth".

I hope you learn something today because we are all in the same boat. What makes you think you are immune to HIV? You are not.

Approved. He needs to reflect on his past actions.

Edited May 1, 2012 by samsara

[paperpuncher]

Please do not condemn him. People do say wrong things at wrong time.

I am sure he did not mean it.

He just 心直口快。

Give Jeremy a chance bah. No need to suspend him.

Everybody made mistake mah.

There are certain behaviour that cannot be condoned and what he did is one of it. If such adverse behaviour can be accepted or easily shrugged off as a one-off mistake by the community, we can expect to see its exploitation by other forum members.

In my opinion, the one week suspension is a slap in the wrist to Jeremy but I trust the judgment of the moderator.

[Guest Thomas]

hi there,

i'm sorry to hear about your predicament.. don't be disheartened.. you don't know how much advancement we have achieved over the past decades in treating HIV patients.. the doctors are now more equipped to deal with that illness and the life span is definitely much much longer..

i'm volunteering at communicable disease centre (cdc) and there are patients that are younger than you are.. so don't give up and be strong..

[fenghou]

There are many helpful comments made in this thread.

I personally feel that you should join a social HIV pos gay group to support one another emotionally (you know discussion group kinda thing).

Take things slowly

Remember to stay calm and think things through before doing anything foolish.

Seek redress by being a kinder person, a better person. There's more to you than being gay or being HIV+.. You're much more than that.

Good luck.

[IceCleric]

Do you have any idea who did you contacted it from? If yes, have you told him yet?

He needs to know too.

But in he meantime, do stay strong alright.

Meanwhile, you may want to check out this website http://iwillsurvivesg.wordpress.com

[Guest Butted]

Let put it this way. In today local society context, there are many worse situation than having chronic illness...

- those who lost their job due to influx of more available cheaper workforce.

- the high cost of living that is driving our pocket dry faster..and in debt, broke or bankrupt cases,

- messy family or work relationship affairs,

- those fell out of love, got dumped, rejected and lonely

- those got bullied..or from foul mouth idiots like Jeremy

- etc.

Living with chronic illness will likely change your outlook & guts character which will enhance this life of yours that make many people envy of you.

Bring out the animal in you. Show the world you can do better than the next guy. Kick asses..and not afraid of living. After all, you got nothing to lose liao.

[janth]

Please be strong. (:

[cire83]

+ oil, take care and be strong.

[uniform_guy]

Bless for your bravery!

Hope this information helps you

1) Is it a must for the government to know I have HIV?

MOH, will have a statistic and records of all HIV + person. However this record will only stay within the relevant department.

2) In response to 1, if yes, can the government not tell my family?

If you are age 21 and above, it will be your choice to review your medical condition to your family. As for 21 and below, I not so sure to state.

3) I can't serve NS anymore right?

You will be pes F. However, if you feel you would like to serve the country, you still can go through medical board. This will depend on your medical conditions and doctor recommendation. But will be pes e9l9 working as a clerk.

There is many others reasons why a person is pes F.

4) How much are the price for the HIV drugs?

HIV drug is depend on your medical condition, and doctor prescription recommendation.

They do import from Thailand, which is cheaper.

5) What should I donow? Who do I talk to to get started on the medicine?

Go to poly clinic / AFA to do HIV test. If it still + get a referrer letter from them. When to start your medical will depend on your blood count (cd4). Not to worry too much ya.

[Guest Guest]

when u go to cmpb for check up, i think they will do a blood test for hiv and info will be sent to relevant authorities. Dun hide, be brave and face it.

[Guest With Love]

Dear 19 and HIV +

I'm so glad to see all of the outpouring of love and support for you. I wish to express other optimism for you to consider.

I believe we all have a specific "mission" in life and that every life is meant to contribute to the growth of humanity in general. I have no way of knowing what your life's mission is but I am quite positive it is not to leave your family with legacy of a "heavy heart". Secondly, I think they would feel "betrayal" by you that you couldn't come to them for support.

Even when bad things happen like chronic diseases like HIV or cancer people can still positively contribute to their family. Part of the human experience is not knowing when our mission is complete so no one knows when they are going to die. That's just one of life's mysteries everyone must accept.

Life is never easy and all of us have personal challenges. There is no question that some people's burdens are heavier than others. Once again this is one of life's mysteries. However, every one of us is not given a challenge that they can't handle. Moreover, somehow, we are all given the necessary skills to overcome any personal challenge.

We sometimes don't have a choice as to what our personal challenges might be and therefore must accept that sometimes, "These are the cards life has dealt me so I must make the best of a less than ideal situation."

With this in mind, it is my hope that you can view your HIV status as a challenge that you can win and there are lots of people out there that want to help you win. There is nothing "free' in this world and hard work is always required. Those that work the hardest reap the biggest rewards so when you are ready just in with both feet.

Who knows, maybe you will go to medical school and invent a cure for HIV.

It’s time for you to embrace your life’s mission and rise to the challenge.

With lots of love…

[Guest elgar90]

Lets not fire at Jeremy anymore he known his mistake..

As for the TS, I hope you will be strong. If you need help you can try Oogachaga (http://www.oogachaga.com/ or Oogachaga Hotline: 6226 2002) they our local LGBT counselling organisation. They might be able to talk you through your hardship.

If you need confidential counselling you may try :

DSC Clinic

Tel: (65) 6293 9648 (appointments)

Tel: 1800-252 1324

(confidential counselling)

Info obtained from MOH website.

Hope you will fight this virus and perhaps in the future there will be a cure for it! Jia you!

Oh btw, the govt will be informed if you did your test at Polyclinics or DSC. Its wise to inform the govt too.

According to Cap 137 (25) of Infectious Disease Act , your information will not be shared.

Protection of identity of person with AIDS, «HIV» Infection or other sexually transmitted disease

25.—(1) Any person who, in the performance or exercise of his functions or duties under this Act, is aware or has reasonable grounds for believing that another person has AIDS or «HIV» Infection or is suffering from a sexually transmitted disease or is a carrier of that disease shall not disclose any information which may identify the other person except —

(a)

with the consent of the other person;

(b)

when it is necessary to do so in connection with the administration or execution of anything under this Act;

(ba)

when it is necessary to do so in connection with the provision of information to a police officer under section 22 or 424 of the Criminal Procedure Code 2010;

[10/2008 wef 10/06/2008]

[15/2010 wef 02/01/2011]

©

when ordered to do so by a court;

(d)

to any medical practitioner or other health staff who is treating or caring for, or counselling, the other person;

(e)

to any blood, organ, semen or breast milk bank that has received or will receive any blood, organ, semen or breast milk from the other person;

(f)

for statistical reports and epidemiological purposes if the information is used in such a way that the identity of the other person is not made known;

(g)

to the victim of a sexual assault by the other person;

(h)

to the Controller of Immigration for the purposes of the Immigration Act (Cap. 133);

(i)

to the next-of-kin of the other person upon the death of such person;

(j)

to any person or class of persons to whom, in the opinion of the Director, it is in the public interest that the information be given; or

(k)

when authorised by the Minister to publish such information for the purposes of public health or public safety.

But please inform any first respondent (be it police, Civil Defense personnel, medical personnel) that you are HIV + so that they can proceed accordingly while assisting you in the future.

Edited May 1, 2012 by elgar90

[Magicerife]

when u go to cmpb for check up, i think they will do a blood test for hiv and info will be sent to relevant authorities. Dun hide, be brave and face it.

actually, there'll be a medical declaration section where you get to declare hiv status / hep B etc. and i would urge you to declare if you already know rather than letting them verify the entire thing altogether, unless you hope to get a 2nd opinion via this route. if they choose to be anal about it, you could be liable for a charge since you will be acknowledging that you have filled in the form to the best and truest of your knowledge. and it'll be uglier when they inform your parents directly. seen how it happened before.

albeit what many have said here, gotta tell you very honestly that retroviral cocktail doesnt come without its side effects. have seen in the clinical setting how several people reacted adversely to it at the start, and how some people decided to give it up altogether to "lessen the suffering". while there have been significant studies and results to prove the efficacy of retroviral cocktail, there are also people who failed to respond well to it. the cost of the cocktail can range from between 100 to 350, depending on the number of cocktail drug you'll be prescribed with and the dosing frequency. have seen people who took only 2 drugs (non nucleoside reverse transcriptase inhibitor and nuramidase) and people who took more than 6 types (to target every step in the viral replication).

while i fully empathize your situation and can comprehend your apprehension with coming clean to your family, i think it will be wise to do so for practical reasons:

1) are you able to pay for the HIV cocktail and the monthly test for your CD4 count? you might intend to find a job to support yourself and your medication routine but honestly, singapore has not transcended to the level where people are open minded enough towards HIV patients. personally know of several HIV patients from the clinical setting who have had issues finding a job and had to rely on their wives / families to pay for their medications. not to mention, the costs of the tests you will have to take.

2) protecting your family. you can take all the precautions on your end, but you'll never know what might happen that allows the antigenic transfer. granted, horizontal transmission requires a high viral load and there hasnt been reported cases of airborne transmission. but i guess you'll feel better knowing that all safety nets been put in place? of course there'll be a period of awkwardness running in the household, but from what i've seen, people do adapt and continue to lead life normally thereafter.

3) their support. the side effects of antiviral cocktail can really be quite horrible in some patients; it's idiosyncratic. at times like these, there are people who think of giving up. but the support of the family is the best motivational force to keep them battling on.

with understanding can there be acceptance. and only with acceptance can there be recovery. seek to understand, hope to get their understanding. when they do, they would accept it naturally and only then will you be able to recover; mind and body.

[yiswim]

1) Is it a must for the government to know I have HIV?

You will referred to Communicable Disease Centre (CDC), TTSH, for followup, when you are diagnosed and confirmed as HIV+ by anonyomous testing clinic, e.g. AFA. However, if you are dignosed and confirmed HIV+ by polyclinics or any government hospitals, then you will be automatically be referred to CDC, TTSH for followup. CDC, TTSH monitors all communicable diseases in Singapore, including HIV (AIDS). The government, in particular, the Ministry of Health keeps track of all HIV+ patients in Singapore if they are being treated by CDC. Having to say that, all these details are confidential to the ministry and the personnel that handled that data entry and monitoring. And take note, as someone had mentioned, do declare your status if you are going to have any form of intimacy with others as it is a crimminal offense not to declare the status. There are already a couple of people charged under this act.

2) In response to 1, if yes, can the government not tell my family?

Yes, the government will not inform your family (if you are of a legal age, i.e. 21yo). If you are below 21y.o, the government and the ministry reserve all rights to inform your parents (or legal guardian) because you can't make certain legal decision based on your age.

3) I can't serve NS anymore right?

Yes, if you declared during pre-enlistment checkup, you will be exempted from NS. However, do take note of the repercussion, such that in the future, your employers might ask why were you exempted etc. However, if you choose not to declare, and you were caught in any other form of medical checkup during NS (FFI checkup and as well as ORD FFI), you may be charged for court martial. So, once again, it is advisable to declare and back to question 1, if you are already undergoing treatment with CDC, your record is available in the health intranet (from MoH) and there is no way you could denied that you are not HIV+.

4) How much are the price for the HIV drugs?

Please refer to the following quote from CDC, TTSH.

Anti-retroviral Therapy Subsidy and Resource Utilisation Programme (ARTSRUP)

A medical subsidy of about $390 per patient per month is provided under this programme. The average cost of combination anti-HIV medications at our pharmacy is about $1,000 per month.

This programme aims to support economically active patients to buy anti-HIV medications from the CDC Pharmacy, especially those with dependants. These patients are likely to have good clinical outcomes with treatment.

Patients’ eligibility is reviewed on a yearly basis.

5) What should I do now? Who do I talk to to get started on the medicine?

As most of the threadsters had advised, do approach AFA (actions for aids) for advices and followup. Most likely, they will refer you to CDC, TTSH. However, as some threadsters had pointed out, you could get cheaper alternatives from Thailand (however, do take note, you might have to spend on airticket and stuff, so do work out the costs).

Lastly, HIV is incurable (that is a fact). BUT IT IS NOT A LIFE-THREATENING DISEASE (provided you take the cocktail drugs regularly to suppress the viral load and bring up your CD4+/CD8+ white cells count). HIV (AIDS) is deemed as a chronic illness like high-blood pressure and kidney failure. With proper treatment and medication, you still can lead a normal life. Live your life to the fullest (and it is definitely not the end of the world).

[Guest guest]

usually the rash will continue and accompany with high fever, u sure u hiv or just normal rashes?i have seen hiv patients usually they have very high fever and cant go to work and u dun have high fever?

[Guest Guest]

Please do not condemn him. People do say wrong things at wrong time.

I am sure he did not mean it.

He just 心直口快。

Give Jeremy a chance bah. No need to suspend him.

Everybody made mistake mah.

If he was or is REALLY sorry, he would had apologised. Wouldn't he?

Chance is to be earned, not given. If he had come out to apologise, I would. but he didnt, it means he isnt sorry and he should just stay in his cynical self and pray daily and hope such things will never happen to him.

Anyways, to the threadstarter, I think U re really brave, to even post it here.. if it was me.. i really wouldnt know what I would had done. I might not even have time long enough to post it. I know its easy to say stay strong to someone and prolyl if I were in ur shoes I wouldnt had been able to. Still, stay strong. I hope u got good friends to stay by U. =)

[chadvinz]

Words of encouragement and advice are pouring in. Hope you reply at least we know you are reading ... don't give up.

[Guest Guest]

to the TS:

How do u know for sure that you're HIV+?

Did u get tested?

Or did you just jump to that conclusion after googling possible causes for your rash?

[Guest Afraid]

Hi everyone..

I am so thankful and overwhelmed by the amount of people showing me endless concern and advises and love.

Thank you all! It made me cry so bad again, but it's a good one thou..

To those asking if I had raw sex, yes I had. I know I deserve it for doing that, but that guy told me he was clean and the sex with him was always amazing, top in my list I would say.. I hope this could be a lesson for you all, you can't believe anything a guy say. I am a living proof and victim

I think I will heed a advice from here and tell my mom that I got it from a girl instead of telling her I am gay.

I think I am so stupid but I am still lost. I have received my enlistment letter from the NS and was told to report on June to home team academy for a 8week physical training phase. I did the test few months back, last year I think and my result was PES A.

Now I am HIV poz, I will definitely become PES F right?

I heard some people say that gays are not allowed to be in the army. Is it true? That is why the questionnaire have questions similar to that?

If so, can I lie my way through the army and say I am gay and not telling them I am hiv + ?

Because right now the army doesn't know I am HIV poz and I can even get into their enlistment training already.

OMG I AM SO CONFUSED..

Medicine is 300+ per month? omg.. my family coudlnt afford that! If it's 100 a month I can still pay for it but 300... I really dont have idea how to survive this.. I mean other countries have free treatment for their citizens.

If I go to AFA for counselling and questions, will it be anonymous or will they declare everything to the government and my family?

I would sincerely like to thank everyone for your kindness and help once again, luckily I have this site to get myself prepared for the worst first..

THANK!

[Guest Medicine Buddha]

Aiyo, what makes you think HIV will end your world so soon. Like diabetes, kidney or heart patients, HIV is still considered quite "mild" to take life so easily. The fear probably is the constantly dose of medication, than again, with so many HIV support group and conselling around, should have diminished that financial fear drastically.

On positive notes, you don't have to serve NS. That is a huge huge freedom and thus you can make use of plenty of time to upgrade yourselves. There is no need to put yourselves under stress so go for easy and low profile jobs after your study. No need to let any company know you have HIV, similarly no reason to disclose you are gay to your prospective boss/colleagues. Live normally until you reached your prime decades later. Don't read too much into what HIV harm can do to you, some are just overly exxagerated but spend more times on how you can help yourselves stay healthy and happy.

As such, if you choose not to tell your parents/siblings than don't tell. Probably the time is still pre-mature. Wait until your family are more or less settled and everyone grown up while you are still healthy. You can slowly pick the right moment when you think your family begin to suspect or matured enough to support you spiritually. By than, probably a new drugs came along and stunt the world with break-record cure.

Even a healthy person cannot foresee the expectancy of life after today, let alone a HIV who can survive more than 20 years. Afterall, no gay people can easily settle down, bring up kids and start a family. That itself is the motivation that you owe no one and have no added responsibility, like heterosexual couple, if you should pass on.

You are not alone with thousand of people like you. Who knows, someday you are so used to your normal HIV lifestyle that you might just provide similar advice to someone who just found out he is HIV positive too.

It might sound easy for those not caught in your situation. The truth is, there is no reverse to your situation. Moving forward is the best option and easiest thing to do now. A new chapter has just begun, and you might ended up living a fruitful lives more than those who are not HIV positive.

May the world send its blue light to you.

[uniform_guy]

I think I am so stupid but I am still lost. I have received my enlistment letter from the NS and was told to report on June to home team academy for a 8week physical training phase. I did the test few months back, last year I think and my result was PES A. Now I am HIV poz, I will definitely become PES F right?

<<it your choice to inform cmpb with regards to your new medical condition. I would strongly encourage you to do that .+. As weather you going to pes f, that depend on you (do you want to serve ns) and medical recommendations by mo >>

I heard some people say that gays are not allowed to be in the army. Is it true?

<<totally nonsense, please. Gay still go through ns, as just what others did.>>

That is why the questionnaire have questions similar to that? If so, can I lie my way through the army and say I am gay and not telling them I am hiv + ?

<<you don't have to declare you are 302 status during army. As for medical, is just for you to know, your follows mates should not be inform.>>

If I go to AFA for counselling and questions, will it be anonymous or will they declare everything to the government and my family?

<< AFA is anonymous, there is a hotline to call them and you don't have to mention your personal particular for counseling advice>>

==============

Moderator note : Try to learn how to use quote. so that it is easier for people to read.

[Guest Realistically speaking]

There is no better excuse than your status to run away from serving the country, not only that, you will be exempted from everything from ICT to IPPT and mobilisation. This country still do not subsidise Aids medicines unlike other countries, so much for caring for its people.

[Guest chnboi91]

stay strong! its not the end of the world. there'll be people who can help you.

[Guest Guest]

- May i know how long u have been with him before u get the symptoms?

- What kind of rashes are they? whole body? any other symptoms u can share w us? we Ajs always need to be aware of symptoms.

- also...does he know his status? if he knows and he intentionally infect u, u can report him to the police in case he may continue to infect others.

- how old is he?

take care. its not the end. u can still live long...there r young ppl who collapsed after a marathon or just died in army after smoke bomb inhalation. its not the end yet. ok u may die in a car accident one day instead of HIV who knows (HIV did not claim ur life). so just live life normally.

[Clickclock]

"I heard some people say that gays are not allowed to be in the army. Is it true? That is why the questionnaire have questions similar to that?

If so, can I lie my way through the army and say I am gay and not telling them I am hiv + ?

Because right now the army doesn't know I am HIV poz and I can even get into their enlistment training already.

OMG I AM SO CONFUSED.."

Gays ARE allowed in the army, Im a living example, I'm a 302 personnel, that means I declared my sexuality to the army. We are still required to serve but we have drastically more "relaxed" vocations that aren't very chiong sua. If I were you i'll rather tell them I have HIV, after all, you DO have the illness and being HIV will get you PES F which is the ultimate excuse from serving the country. For 302 personnel like me, Im still pes B, but under the status, your PES status do differ from person to person depending on how and when you declared, I declared during bmt so Im still pes B, while a couple of my friends who declared at cmpb either got pes C or D. Its a diff, depends on the medical officer as well.

[koolkai]

You must be brave to take on this piece of unfortunate news. WIth the advancement of medicine, many people are living with HIV. You must take it in your stride and seek proper medical treatment. But of course, you must be more responsible now and not indulge in sex with anyone without informing them. God bless you!

[jiafeng.]

its not gonna be easy, but don't give up.

life still goes on.

stay strong!

[Guest Guest]

To those asking if I had raw sex, yes I had. I know I deserve it for doing that, but that guy told me he was clean and the sex with him was always amazing, top in my list I would say.. I hope this could be a lesson for you all, you can't believe anything a guy say. I am a living proof and victim

U only have 1 partner all the while or have several partners?

Do u guys know whether he can tk any legal actions against his partner? I am serious bcos he can get monetary compensation in return.

TS, did u go for another check up to confirm?

[Guest Guest]

There is no better excuse than your status to run away from serving the country, not only that, you will be exempted from everything from ICT to IPPT and mobilisation. This country still do not subsidise Aids medicines unlike other countries, so much for caring for its people.

That's true.. My country (indonesia) although is a poor and not a developed country, provides free ARV drugs for HIV+ patients.. Even the test and counselling is free of charge, unlike in sg where u have to pay $15-20 for test at DSC clinic and much higher at private clinics.

[lct]

Your fate is than say 10yr ago or even 5yr ago.

Many people experience side effects from antivirals. That is true and undeniable. Many do experience nausea and vomitting etc. However, most of the side effects are eminently treatable and most will get used after a while. Even the more serious ones like pins and needles from peripheral nerve damage can be countered by changing the medications.

All doctors involved in the care of HIV patients are caring as far as my limited experience goes. And HIV should not be kept secret to healthcare staff. I understand the paranoia of putting it on the national system but it is for your own good. I see HIV+ similar to Hep C+ or Hep B+. Infective symptoms and other symptoms possibly pertaining to medications will be treated more seriously in light of your status. Your GP may quickly end a consult of a young well pt but NOT a consult of young HIV+ pt. No doctor wants a pt to collapse and die from a severe infection, bacterial or viral, at home. On the other hand, well treated HIV+ individuals have almost as acceptable an immunity as normal people -- and hence the relative longevity which equates HIV+ pts to that of those with well controlled diabetes, hypertension etc.

Do register yourself on BW. If we need to send you info to help you, it will be easier. Good luck and God bless. On a final note, get that bastard out (NOT that one banned here for 1 week) and tell him to check his status if you have been monogamous with him.

Edited May 1, 2012 by lct

[exec_fetish]

Am so glad to see TS responding. Hope that everything can work out well for you in the end.

[Guest munchkix]

Hey TS, stay strong, have a positive, optimistic mindset. You have a bright future ahead of you, your life doesn't end with a full stop at 19. I suggest that you join support groups so that you don't feel left out or anything, as I know it is really hard to keep such matters to yourself. If you don't feel good being in a group, try talking to a counsellor or social worker or a very close friend. Keep yourself healthy, and do your blood tests regularly.

But from now on, if you were to have fun with anyone else, you are bound by the law to tell your partner that you are HIV+ beforehand. In any case, always use a condom if you have any fun, it's to protect yourself and your partner. If not, with double strains, it will be a very bad thing for you.

[boyzbe81]

Don't give up. Magic Johnson declared that he have HIV a long time ago but he is still standing now.

With medical advancements, cure could be just around the corner, so like everybody suggest. Go to one of those approved clinics and talk to the people and volunteers.

From now on, further protect yourself mentally and physically; there will always be other who will put you down but remember not to give up on yourself.

I'm not one who is good with words or at showing care so Good luck and all the best~

[passby]

tsktsk. play too much... have sex too much.... play somemore lah

Orh....Jeremy u gonna get canning liao...

[Guest Ian]

You need to start treatment ASAP so that you can retard the virus, by that i also mean you have to come out, just come out now without telling them you are HIV+, when you feel they are ready than break the news.

Don't wait too long.

Godspeed.

[GuyBornThisWay]

Hugs.

Treasure your life. All of us here hope you dun regress into negative thoughts or cause further self-inflicted harm. There will be people whom will continue to love you for who you are. I'm sure your parents are like that, and your friends in real life too.

Gambate, Jia You, Bonne chance!

[keyboard]

Hi TS,

there is one thing that i have not seen mentioned so far and I hope you can gather enough courage to do this. Contact tracing. The diagnose might be certain already, what you can do now is to prevent the spread of the virus from whom you caught it from. Talk to the AFA counsellor, very likely he/she might post you the same question, is to identify whom you caught the virus from, and prevent the spread. You have the power to not let what happened to you, happen on someone else.

Also, if the person who passed you the virus already knew he is positive and had sex with you without informing you of his status, it is punishable by law. I hope you'll be able to find it in you to be brave.

[hitchcube]

this sounds like a scary & lonely time for you. but it doesn't have to be this way.

you can read about a fellow teen's journey of being diagnosed with HIV, & how he survived, here in "My hopes & dreams"

and when you decide to get support for yourself, you can contact these professional organisations anonymously to find out more. you can choose not to give them your real name, & they won't know who you are, & anyway, they are bound by confidentiality, & won't reveal your identity to anyone else.

Action for AIDS - range of information & services

Oogachaga Counselling & Support (email counselling) - also runs hotline & face-to-face counselling services

Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) - hotline, email & counselling services - especially if you're feeling distressed or suicidal.