worldangel Posted February 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 Joke: Bobcat training One day a teacher was talking about picking rocks with his Bobcat (tractor). As the teacher continued with the discussion a Blonde was very confused. Finally she raised her hand and said "teacher how did you train your bobcat to pick up rocks." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 Joke: Lobster tail & beer A red neck is driving down a back road in Tennessee. A sign in front of a restaurant reads: Happy Hour Special. “Lobster Tail and Beer.” “What a surprise” he says to himself, “my three favorite things!!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 Joke: Replacement Cannibal father and Son were walking through the jungle when they saw a pretty, butt naked blond run by.The Son said to the dad "Let's track her down, kill and eat her". The Dad said back "No, let's track her down and take her home and kill your Mother".. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 Joke: Small problems A guy walking on the sidewalk passed by a young man sitting on a bench with his head hanging low crying. The man asked, "What’s wrong friend?" "Well," The man replied, "I live in an expensive house, I have a hundred dollar a day allowance, I get a new sports car every other month and I'm surrounded by beautiful women." "Then why do you feel so down?" asked the stranger. "Because," replied the young man, "I forgot where I live!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 Joke: Business trip While on a business trip through his son’s college town one early morning the father though he would pay his boy a surprise visit, arriving at the young man’s fraternity house, dad rapped loudly on the door.After several minutes of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second floor window, “can I help you?” “Does Duncan Lyon live here?” asked the father. “Yeah,” replied the weary voice. “Go ahead and dump him on the front porch.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 Joke: Mommy, look at this....As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, "Mommy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said, "Mommy gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again. When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face. I said, "What's wrong honey?" "Mommy, where's my booger?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2016 Joke: Still single...Fred is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?" Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them." His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother." A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?" With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much." The friend said, "Then what's the problem?" Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her." jeeves 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2016 Joke: Tom had this problem of getting... Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning by almost two hours. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss," he said, "The pill actually worked!" "That's all fine" said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2016 Joke: Wife asks husband, "How many w... Wife asks husband, "How many women have you slept with?" Husband proudly replies, "Only you, Darling - With all the others, I was awake." Hospital Visiting Hours are 10 am to 4 PM. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2016 Joke: A special celebration... While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather to how things used to be in the "good old days." Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, "Roy, aren't you and your bride celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary soon?" "Yup, we sure are," Roy replied. "Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?" another man asked. The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, "For our 25th anniversary, I took the misses to Tucson. For our 50th, I'm thinking about going down there again to pick her up." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2016 Joke: Horse-back riding A blonde goes horse-back riding. It starts out slow, but then it starts to gallop. The blonde is enjoying herself. All of a sudden she slips off and her foot gets caught in the reins. The horse doesn't stop and the blonde is still being dragged upside down. She doesn't know what to do. Finally the Wal-Mart manager comes and unplugs it. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2016 Joke: Three Nurses Tricks Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor. The first nurse said, "I put cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn't hear. The second nurse said, "Well, I did worse than that. I poked holes in all his condoms. The third nurse fainted. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2016 Joke: Paint my house A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous and sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition." Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked into her eyes and slowly, meaningfully said, "Paint my house." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2016 Joke: The Key Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper. After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill said to Jim and Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2016 Joke: What do you like best about me.... I asked my wife the other day what she liked best about me.... "Is it my firm, trim, athletic, body? Or, rather, is it my astounding intellect?" She replied.... "Your sense of humour, dear." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2016 (edited) Joke: Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a... Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper. After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill said to Jim and Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!" Edited February 10, 2016 by worldangel Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2016 Joke: There was a student who was desirous ... There was a student who was desirous of taking admission for a study course. He was smart enough to get through the written test, a GD and was to appear for the personal interview. Later, as the interview progressed, the interviewer found this boy to be bright since he could answer all the questions correctly. The interviewer got impatient and decided to corner the boy. "Tell me your choice;" said he to the boy, "What's your choice: I shall either ask you ten easy questions or ONE real difficult. Think well before you make up your mind." The boy thought for a while and said, "My choice is ONE real difficult question." "Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!" said the man on the opposite side. Tell me: What comes first, Day or Night?" The boy was jolted first but he waited for a while and said: "It's the DAY, sir." "How???????" the interviewer was smiling ("At last, I got you!" he said to himself.) "Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!" Admission for the course was thus secured. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2016 Joke: The millionaire... A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his fiftieth birthday, so during this party he grabs the mic and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. "I will give anything they desire of mine, to the person who swims across that pool." So the party continues with no events in the pool, until SUDDENLY, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened, and in the pool is a man and he is swimming as hard as he can, and the fins come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going and the sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, wet and soaked! The millionaire grabs the mic and says, "I am a man of his word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?" the millionaire asks. The guy grabs the mic and says, "Why don't we start with the name of the idiot that pushed me in!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2016 (edited) Joke: A young woman went to her doctor ... A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor. "You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman. "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific." The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried. The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger." Edited February 10, 2016 by worldangel Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 Joke: Pregnancy Tests The young college physician was bewildered by the procession of unhappy young women regularly visiting his campus clinic for pregnancy tests. “There seems to be something in the air this time of the year that causes young girls to get pregnant,” he commented to an older colleague. “What it is, I wonder?’ “Their legs,” replied his friend. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 Joke: Girl Grasshoppers? A little boy was looking in his cupped hands at a bunch of grasshoppers "Mommy" The boy said, “are there girl grasshoppers?" "No" says the mom "Are there boy grasshoppers?" the boy said. Now, he mom was thinking to herself if she wanted to give her little boy the birds and bees talk now, but decided not to. "Yes, there are boy grasshoppers" said the mom, then the little boy crushes the grasshoppers in his hand and says, "Faggots". Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 Joke: Some Like It Hot A guy working in Texas and it's really hot. He just got paid so he goes to the first bar he sees. He sits on the stool and says, "Man I'm so thirsty I could lick the sweat off a cow's balls" The bartender turns around and say's "moo-moo buckaroo" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 Joke: Sex Therapy The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller asked, “Doctor, I want to know, why do men always want to marry a virgin?” To which the doctor handily responded, “To avoid criticism.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 Joke: Roll Your Own A guy goes into a store and asks the clerk "Where would I find tampons?" The clerk says "Isle 15." The guy goes to isle 15 and comes back with cotton balls and a roll of string. The clerk asks, "I thought you wanted tampons?" To which the guy replied, "I did, but the other night I asked my wife to go get me a pack of cigarettes and she came back with some Bugler and rolling papers. If I can roll my own, so can she!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 Joke: A Simple Question Little Johnny runs into his house and asks, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," says his mom, "Of course not." Little Johnny runs back outside, and his mom hears him yell to his friend, "It's OK, we can keep playing!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 Joke: Three Mice Three mice were sitting in a bar one boring evening and making bets on who was the toughest mouse. The first mouse said, "I'm that tough, you know that "rat nip", I sniffs it! The second mouse said "Well that's not so tough "see those mouse traps" I bench press those! So the third mouse slams his drink on the bar and says "oh yeah, you guys think you are so tough? "See me, I'm going home to F U C K the cat!! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 Joke: A Simple Question Little Johnny runs into his house and asks, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," says his mom, "Of course not." Little Johnny runs back outside, and his mom hears him yell to his friend, "It's OK, we can keep playing!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 Joke: Bull Stock A farmer goes in half with a friend to buy a bull so he can increase his stock. A couple of weeks later the friend comes by to see how his investment is doing. The farmer complains that the bull just east grass and won’t look at the cows. His friend suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull. The following week his friend returns to see if the vet helped. The farmer looks delighted: “The bull has taken care of all my cows, broke through the fence, and has even serviced all my neighbor’s cows! “Wow,” says his friend, “what did the vet do to that bull?” “Just gave him some pills’” said the farmer. “What kind of pills?” asked his friend. “I don’t know, but they sort of taste like peppermint.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 Joke: Financial Difficulty A couple was having financial difficulties, so it was decided that the wife should try prostitution as an extra source of income. The husband drove her out to a popular corner motel and assured her that he would be at the side of the building if she had any questions or problems. A man pulled up shortly after and asked her how much she wanted to go all the way. She told him to wait a minute and ran around the corner to ask her husband. Her husband told her to charge the client hundred bucks. She went back and informed the client, and he cried, “That’s too much!” Then the man asked, “How much for a hand job?” She told him to wait a minute and ran to ask her husband how much. The husband told her to charge forty bucks. She came back and informed the man and he felt that this was an agreeable price and began to remove his pants and underwear. The woman noticed that the man was really well hung, so she asked him to wait a moment. She ran around the corner again and her husband asked, “Now what?” Then the wife said; “Can I borrow sixty bucks?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 (edited) Joke: Three old timers at the retirement ... Three old timers at the retirement home were complaining about growing old. The first one says, "I wake up at 7:00 AM and try for a half hour to take a poop." The second one says, "Oh yeah? I spend an hour trying to pee." The third one says, "I take a nice poop at 7:00 AM and about 7:30 AM take a nice pee." The other two guys look at him and ask, "What are you complaining about?" The third man explains, "I don't wake up till 8:30 AM." Edited February 11, 2016 by worldangel Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 Joke: The phone rang at the firehouse... The phone rang at the firehouse just five minutes after the men had all retired for their afternoon nap. "It's a terrible blaze at my house," the voice frantically cried. "The flames are licking through the basement and the first floor. Pretty soon they'll ravage the entire place." "Did you try throwing water over it?" asked the fire chief. "Yes!" "Then there's no use our coming over. That's all we do." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 Joke: Jury duty... Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn't believe in capital punishment and didn't want her personal thoughts to prevent the trial from running its proper course. But the public defender liked her thoughtfulness and quiet calm, and tried to convince her that she was appropriate to serve on the jury. "Madam," he explained, "this is not a murder trial! It's a simple civil lawsuit. A wife is bringing this case against her husband because he gambled away the $12,000 he had promised to use to remodel the kitchen for her birthday." "Well, okay," agreed Mrs. Hunter, "I'll serve. I guess I could be wrong about capital punishment after all." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 Joke: A Doctor’s Lecture A Doctor was addressing a large audience. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 Joke: The widower A widower who never paid any attention to his wife while she was alive now found himself missing her desperately. He went to a psychic to see if he could contact his late wife. The psychic went into a trance. A strange breeze wafted through the darkened room, and suddenly, the man heard the unmistakable voice of his dearly departed wife. "Honey!" he cried. "Is that you?" "Yes, my husband." "Are you happy?" "Yes, my husband." "Happier than you were with me?" "Yes, my husband." "Then Heaven must be an amazing place!" "I'm not in Heaven, dear." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 Joke: At the police station At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him. "Well," Bubba began, "We wuz havin' a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, 'Hey, der ya fellows wanna go hunting?'" "And then what happened?" the officer interrupted. "From what I remember," Bubba said, "I stood up and said, 'Sure, I'm game.'" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 Joke: A bit apprehensive... As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in several night time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant fresh from Jump School. He was quiet sad looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation. "Scared, Lieutenant?", I asked. He replied, "No, just a bit apprehensive." I asked, "What's the difference?" He replied, "That means I'm scared with a university education." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 (edited) Joke: The famous lawyer, who had been ... A famous lawyer, who had been a public defender for years, dies. He finds himself standing at the back of an enormous queue outside the gates of Heaven. The queue before him is enormous. The number of people who die in a single day appalls him. He can barely see St Peter sitting up on a podium outside the gates with a large book. Every now and then St Peter glances down the queue to see how he is going. Suddenly he catches the eye of the lawyer. He looks very surprised. He jumps down from the podium and comes running along the line until slightly out of breath he arrives beside the lawyer. He embraces him. He pulls him out of the queue and motions for him to come to the front of the queue. Another person questions what is happening and another angel speaks to the person. Word is passed along the queue and the lawyer is surprised, as people start nodding and clapping. He becomes embarrassed by all the attention and asks St Peter why he is getting the special attention. St Peter stops suddenly and looks concerned. "You are a lawyer aren't you?' "Yes" the lawyer replies. "Does this happen to all lawyers in heaven?" "Oh, no, "Said St Peter. "It's just you are the first one to ever get here." Edited February 11, 2016 by worldangel Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 (edited) Joke: Jill goes home one night with ... Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, superhot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other. She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!" Edited February 11, 2016 by worldangel Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2016 Joke: Psychiatric Evaluation As prerequisite for his job with a very conservative corporation, a young man was sent for a psychiatric evaluation. Picking up a stack of cards, the doctor showed the patient a pair of parallel lines. “When you look at this, what do you see?” “Two people making love,” he answered. The doctor held up a picture showing a rectangle. “What does this remind you of?” “A penis.” “And this?’ the doctor asked as he held up a triangle. “A pussy.” The psychiatrist laid down the cards. I’m afraid I can’t recommend you for the job, young man. All you think about is sex.” “Me?” the man yelled. “Who’s they guy with the collection of dirty pictures?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 Joke: A man hasn't been feeling well... A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete check-up. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly. "Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" "Nine..." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 Joke: Best room in the hotel? The drunk staggered up to the hotel reception and demanded his room be changed. "But sir," said the clerk, "you have the best room in the hotel." "I insist on another room!!" said the drunk. "Very good, sir. I`ll change you from 502 to 555. Would you mind telling me why you don't like 502?" asked the clerk. "Well, for one thing," said the drunk, "it's on fire." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 Joke: Why White Colour? A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?" The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure." The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father opinion, "Dad, why are wedding dresses white?" The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 Joke: College Professor Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest. The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bided his time. Then, halfway through the lecture, he began. "They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France." The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door. "Young ladies," said the professor with a broad smile, "the next plane doesn't leave till tomorrow afternoon." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 Joke: Rise Caesar! A rather bookish young man goes into a whorehouse to seek entertainment. He goes up to the madam and says, "Madam, I'd like a woman for the evening." The Madam says, "Sir, I'm afraid all the girls are taken tonight, but if you'd care to, I'm available." So the guy and the madam go into a bedroom and get undressed. As he takes off his clothes, she looks him over and she notices that, flaccid, he's only two inches long. But then the guy says, "Rise, Caesar!" And his cock rises to a full 12 inches. So they have a great time, and after about five hours even the madam is very impressed. "Sir," she says, "this has been one of the most pleasurable evenings of my life. I was wondering if you'd mind if I called the girls in so they could have a look at you. You're really something special, you know." But the guy says, "No, madam, no. I have come to bury Caesar, not to praise him." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 Joke: Playing Doctor Steve complained to his friend Al that lovemaking with his wife was becoming routine and boring. "Get creative buddy. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try playing doctor for an hour?" "Sounds great," Steve replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?" "Hell, just keep her in the waiting room for 45 minutes!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 Joke: The Race… Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighbourhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger co-worker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong. Gasping for breath, she replied, “When I see two men from the gas company running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 Joke: Super Bowl John received a free ticket to the Super Bowl. Unfortunately. John's seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the stadium. He noticed an empty seat 10 rows up from the 50-yard line. He decides to make his way to the empty seat. As he sits down he asks the man next to him if anyone is sitting there. The man told him no, it was empty. John is very excited to have a seat like this at a Super Bowl and asks why in the world no one is using it? The man replied that it was his wife's seat but she passed away. He said this was the first Super Bowl that they have not attended together since they were married in 1968. John said that it was really sad and asked if he couldn't find someone, a relative or a close friend to take the seat? "No" replied the man, "They're at her funeral!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 Joke: A guy was walking along the street... A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one of the runners and asked: "What's happening?" The runner replied breathlessly: "A lion has escaped from the zoo." "Oh my, which way is it heading?" "Well you don't think we are chasing it, do you?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2016 Joke: Getting Airsick A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, mean-looking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. He knows he can't climb over him, and so the little guy sits there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes over the little guy. He can't hold it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy's chest. About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him. "So," says the little guy: "are you feeling better now?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted February 15, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 15, 2016 Joke: Cooking class... One day during cooking class, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, was extolling her secrets for preparing perfect sauces. When she ordered us to the stoves to prepare our assignments, she said, "Now don't forget to use wooden spoons." As I stirred my sauce, I contemplated the physics behind the mystery of the wooden spoon and decided it must have something to do with heat conduction. I approached Mrs. Jones to test my theory. "Why wooden spoons?" I asked. "Because, she replied, "if I have to sit here listening to all your metal spoons banging against metal pots, I'd go nuts!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts