Should bw profile pics be real or fake?

[funlovingboi]

On one hand a real profile picture is more authentic and honest, and you know that people are chatting you up not based on false impressions of you.  

 

On the other hand, having a real profile pic in the public domain can be quite a nightmare for discreet guys like me, as I fear someone recognising me.  It somehow seems as good as if I were out of the closet...

 

Please share your experiences regarding this...what will be your advice?  I'm kind of at an internal tug of war here...argh!

 

Should I or should I not post a real profile pic?

[KAXavion]

Nope, for discreet guy. No . Recommended not to. I mean since you are discreet then what's the point of putting a real pic. People will start looking at you. 

 

Whats should be the way is to be comfortable. And have people not look on people base on appreances but personality rather. 

 

Cause only you can know if a person is real. I don't need to know his real look. Base on his personality and how he protray themselves already shown me how he's like even without looking at him.

[KAXavion]

I would rather you not to. The purpose of discreet is to stay hidden and not exposed to others since discreet is another word for unnoticed. And I myself is discreet. My friend and family doesn't even know anything about me. I am happy to be discreet now but on a different level of discreet as you. I'm now taking baby steps slowly too. If you like. I would like you to walk with me. 

[lovehandle]

Who /how do we monitor who puts up a real photo? moderators? they cannot, unless they  have seen the real person

Like what Kaxc has mentioned above ,some choose to be discreet but I have put up a photo of my genuine body parts, nothing is fake in me , or in my life (esp dislike liars)
Some could put up a non-current photo: maybe 30yrs ago? so it is still the real him

but @KAXavion r u discreet, u put up a real photo right?
one choose to be discreet could be due to professional/job reasons instead : certain career will invite the unnecessary if pp or stakeholders knew u r a gay: eg parents and students + principal etc

Even w a real photo, many still lied in bw or probably grindr(after reading the threads) , some may have youngish-looking face(I m the opposite) but their scaly-peel-off skin on legs and hands easily divulge that they are more than 20yrs older than their photo

In reality, while many focus on personality, still most men (be it gay or not) still want to look for a guy w great personality + a decent look or meat
Somehow all will still ask for statistics and (race too) photo eventually

[funlovingboi]

Thanks for the advice guys <3  

 

So can it be said that most guys will prefer to find out other men's personality first, instead of jumping straight into stats and appearances? even if they're just looking for fun?

[lovehandle]

26 minutes ago, funlovingboi said:

Thanks for the advice guys <3  

 

So can it be said that most guys will prefer to find out other men's personality first, instead of jumping straight into stats and appearances? even if they're just looking for fun?

sadly, majority of them are about looks and LOOKs! esp gays

[lovehandle]

and that is why many could lie or use another person's photo

[funlovingboi]

 

2 minutes ago, lovehandle said:

sadly, majority of them are about looks and LOOKs! esp gays

 

you speak as though you such a great resentment against them...why? was it because of a horrible experience?  

 

6 minutes ago, lovehandle said:

and that is why many could lie or use another person's photo

 

I see...so will it be better to video chat and see how it goes first before getting to know each other further..

[lovehandle]

16 minutes ago, funlovingboi said:

 

 

you speak as though you such a great resentment against them...why? was it because of a horrible experience?  

 

 

I see...so will it be better to video chat and see how it goes first before getting to know each other further..

I speak in a factual manner, resentment or not , it will not change the fact

ie I m just stating a fact

problem is not all are comfortable to show their face or to "expose" themselves
but from the description (or profile ) when they PMed one another, one has to be honest in describing yourself...

Videochat can be too troublesome as not all may have a laptop or they may not be convenient to do such a chat (in office/in school or even at  home)


but if u r comfortable in putting up your photo, go ahead and be as open as possible...

For me, my msg is clear to all, not into looks and I have no decent look to offer too

[funlovingboi]

I see, thanks lovehandle.

[hairy springroll]

Cyber world dont expect and take it seriously 

cruelty!!!!

[teatree]

12 hours ago, funlovingboi said:

On one hand a real profile picture is more authentic and honest, and you know that people are chatting you up not based on false impressions of you.  

 

On the other hand, having a real profile pic in the public domain can be quite a nightmare for discreet guys like me, as I fear someone recognising me.  It somehow seems as good as if I were out of the closet...

 

Please share your experiences regarding this...what will be your advice?  I'm kind of at an internal tug of war here...argh!

 

Should I or should I not post a real profile pic?

 

Well, you can always used your profile picture 10 or 15 years back.  It is still your real and honest picture and people won't recognize you.  It could be disappointing when someone meet you but at least you are not using someone picture.

[Guest 72%dark]

6 hours ago, funlovingboi said:

So can it be said that most guys will prefer to find out other men's personality first, instead of jumping straight into stats and appearances? even if they're just looking for fun?

 

You’d be surprised by how many people say that it’s a person’s character/personality that matters most when choosing a potential boyfriend, but who consider looks to be a veto factor. They basically say that if they don’t like someone’s looks, it just wouldn’t work (implying that they’re not willing to get to know the other party as a person first before passing judgement). For example, if you browse profiles on a platform like Grindr, you’ll find many people who say they’re not looking for hookups (ironically), who claim to abhor superficiality and to be looking for a deeper connection, but who (with no sense of irony) declare “no pic no chat” or even detail physical requirements for potential partner. 

 

So it’s not being resentful or cynical, but merely realistic, to recognize that many – or even most – people do actually care more about appearances than they might claim to. This is even more so if you and/or the people you correspond with are primarily looking for fun.

 

Try out a little experiment for yourself. Upload a picture of a hot bod to your profile and see how quickly your hit rate rises and how many messages flood your inbox; then upload some other non-hot bod pic and see how quickly interest fades. (No matter if your profile description reveals what a soulful personality you have, people don’t read it; they just look at your pics.)

 

If you want to put yourself on the market and get some action but don't want to compromise your privacy, upload public pictures of yourself that aren't personally identifiable. Don’t bother with fake pics (or real but obviously outdated pics) because few things disgust people more than the feeling of being “cheated” or lied to.

[lovehandle]

14 minutes ago, 72%dark said:

 

 

Try out a little experiment for yourself. Upload a picture of a hot bod to your profile and see how quickly your hit rate rises and how many messages flood your inbox; then upload some other non-hot bod pic and see how quickly interest fades. (No matter if your profile description reveals what a soulful personality you have, people don’t read it; they just look at your pics.)

 

I fully agreed

 

the moment they saw my face, they fled like seeing a ghost

 

muahahahahaha, I will haunt them later in 7th mth

[Carpenter]

Even if you r discreet you can still put up real pic. Say took a pic of your fingers then voila, real but discreet at the same time. N no, u dont need to post your abs, penis or ass pic. 

[Carpenter]

3 hours ago, lovehandle said:

I fully agreed

 

the moment they saw my face, they fled like seeing a ghost

 

muahahahahaha, I will haunt them later in 7th mth

You so scary mehhh

[lovehandle]

7 hours ago, Carpenter said:

You so scary mehhh

As those who see me this way, I m just plain looking and I grow "too fast"

My straight friends have no issue w me

 

Anyway who cares!

[Estarif]

16 hours ago, Carpenter said:

Even if you r discreet you can still put up real pic. Say took a pic of your fingers then voila, real but discreet at the same time. N no, u dont need to post your abs, penis or ass pic. 

 

Defintely what he said, dont need to show face, or anything else extra if ur not looking to get hooked with fun

[Kimochi]

If you put photo of you when you were fit 10 years ago you need to state to avoid mistake . If meet up the guy fly your kite don't cry and make noise .

[Guest Glyph]

Care to define "fake pics"? Does that include pictures that depict sceneries, fictional characters, abstract art, and your favourite idol or your pet?

 

I mean, if you're simply talking about randomly snapping a guy's pics somewhere and using it as your own, then it's obviously not okay? That's like impersonation.

 

In any case, I'm guessing it depends on what you wanna use BW for. I'm better off with one less platform where all that's ever asked of me is "seek?", and if it can't get any worse. Where peeps smack a crotch pic of themselves grabbing their male organ through thin cloth in your face, yet the profile states they're not up for monkey business. Want to bluff who sia that one. SMH

[wantonmee]

i don't understand the dilemma....

it's like grindr (or insert any other gay app/board/forum), do u post real or fake pics?

that's entirely up to u...

[Oopiess]

i agree with wantonmee, i believe some people are not out of the closet yet or arent comfortable with their bodies/ image shown to the world(subjective). im still.. not very "out" and only to some people who i trust. so its just personal preference 

[Carpenter]

16 hours ago, Glyph said:

Care to define "fake pics"? Does that include pictures that depict sceneries, fictional characters, abstract art, and your favourite idol or your pet?

 

I mean, if you're simply talking about randomly snapping a guy's pics somewhere and using it as your own, then it's obviously not okay? That's like impersonation.

 

In any case, I'm guessing it depends on what you wanna use BW for. I'm better off with one less platform where all that's ever asked of me is "seek?", and if it can't get any worse. Where peeps smack a crotch pic of themselves grabbing their male organ through thin cloth in your face, yet the profile states they're not up for monkey business. Want to bluff who sia that one. SMH

Yup, bw to me is just a forum to discuss things, chatting n prob making new online friends without any benefit or something like that. Not sayin that you cant find soulmate or fb, because bw have the section especially for it. Just people want to socialise with other gay men without getting ask if you wanna have fun.

[keyboard]

Quoting from your About Me.

"The pic is not me btw, I'm a slightly smaller version of him, though I can shamelessly say that I am fit and have abs.  I'm just really shy about sharing my pics."

 

I'm not one who go for hookups, so I don't really know how many real or fake pics there are out there in the apps. I do wonder, how will your family/friends etc recognise a bod pic unless it's uniquely easily identifiable?

 

Makes me think about how many straight guys are being cheated by girls who "enhanced" their boobs pics with bras and angles.

 

For the record, i would think how a girl or guy react to be cheated on is very different in general.

[KENZ]

makes no diff ...even if you put your real pic, people will still ask for more pic, some will believe, some will still have doubt. 

If you don't feel comfortable don't force yourself, after all while chatting, you can still follow up with sending your face pic privately. That applies to all gay websites and apps. 

[Guest]

I'm in favour of real pics, and profile, especially if you are planning to hook up: honesty causes less false expectations and disappointment later. Anyway, you can't hide your attributes when you eventually meet up. 

 

(OK, so very few people are interested in me ... but at least I'm not lying.)

 

I appreciate that everyone can choose their own level of comfort, though. I am not comfy showing my face publicly on my profile, for example. Do what works for you, based on what you intend to get out of being here. 

[snowball]

for me, if not convenient to show face, then body etc, no point showing something that not belonging to oneself, as well don't show any better, but i respect others choice.

[lovehandle]

10 minutes ago, snowball said:

for me, if not convenient to show face, then body etc, no point showing something that not belonging to oneself, as well don't show any better, but i respect others choice.

I agree to that!
everything must b real

 

 

but many in order to show eg muscles, went for gym , nothing wrong w pursuing a healthy lifestyle, but is gym on muscles - really a must???
I felt sad for them when they told me that THIS Is the ONLY way to get men and to get laid

it is as good as all the ladies come telling me, in order to get married, they must train up their boobs or apply thick makeup ...it s disappointing to hear such views
it is equivalent to hearing the only way to get rich is to get into a religion and pray for that (nothing wrong getting into a philo/religion for the betterment of society, but not for the reason of getting rich and to pursue 5Cs)