What Is Love? (Compiled)

[shaberu]

I have encountered men that like me but too bad they are not my type. Even if men i liked, i missed that chance and only once. It just because i never knew that straight and handsome men like them can be gay. And again, one man seemed to have interest in me. He is not bad looking (also possibly my type if i want it to be) but i met him at sauna. Well, i guess he is asking me for s*x only. Once, i am told that lean meat is popular in sauna. I had made too many mistakes in my life. If i can grow from infant gay so be it. Life is really tough and close to depression and very painfull as gay.

[GachiMuchi]

Shaberu san, dai jo bu yo.

Life is full of ups and downs, be it you str8 or be it you AJ or be it whatever. Life is tough, but as long as u are tougher, it will pass one. These are the trials and tribulation of life. You like ppl, ppl dun like u.. ppl like u, u dun like them. So it is like that one lor.

Just make sure that you did make an effort and even it did not go as you wished, don't despair, move on and try other targets.

[kerbee10]

IMOP,

There is an equation is falls the opposite

LTR is not equal to BGR

usually BGR start off with the chasing ...like cat chase mouse kinda thing

LTR usually start with slaughtering the chicken and then think of whether to eat the chicks.

Usually LTR starts off like...love at first sight.........so ingredients is like "sex"

BGR ususally starts also the same as in love at first sight..."sex" but it takes awhile to come into that sex...u need other ingredients to get the flame starting...

and AJ sex can gets quite easily...many time is FOC....

Love.....If you love someone....you have forgotten to love yourself........as you will do anything at the prority of that party...

But if you like someone......it maybe a period of time..but liking changes...like example..today u drink coke tomolo u drink pepsi.....

Regardless love or like....outsider will not know..only we ourselves knows the answer.......

Cheers...

[Riko]

kerbee, I don't think you know what BGR means.

You probably think that it's a real REAL relationship. It actually means Boy Girl Relationship.

So if you're trying to say that BGR starts with love first, then you're wrong, because relationships, regardless of their gender orientation, happens the same way(s).

It's either one night that turned into attachment, or just plain love.

BGR is Boy Girl Relationship. It is used to refer to puppy love... aka, love between two young teens.

LTR is Long Term Relationship. This is a general term, for something lasting. Usually used in the realm of the internet.

[FD forever]

To me, love or be love is something wonderful.But if there is no trust,care, understanding and forgiving...then there will not be love between one another. I don't believe in loving someone and the other party don't love you as much. It must be equal. I also don't believe in open relationship, what does this phrase mean.It mean that although both people are attached,they can still go find someone else for sex or even have sex together.This kind of relationship don't make sense at all,if you love someone and want to be with him for the rest of your life,then both parties have to love each other and no third parties.

[hot_soup69]

Love is nothing but meaningless,most will say how much they love each other & how much they know what the meaning of true love,but at the end when the feeling no longer there,all is bullshit,most ppl when together will full of empty promises & swet talk,but after the peroid end,then they will give full of excuse to prove they really love b4,however true or not only heaven knows,whether they really mature in thinking & towards with love only GOD knows,no point try to tell others how great lover they are,cos is a game or not is a fact or not is not by words,is deep from the hearts.

When both together,action worth more than thousands of sweet talks & lies,treasure & appreaciate each other is most important.

[shaberu]

To me, love or be love is something wonderful.But if there is no trust,care, understanding and forgiving...then there will not be love between one another. I don't believe in loving someone and the other party don't love you as much. It must be equal. I also don't believe in open relationship, what does this phrase mean.It mean that although both people are attached,they can still go find someone else for sex or even have sex together.This kind of relationship don't make sense at all,if you love someone and want to be with him for the rest of your life,then both parties have to love each other and no third parties.

Love is definitely wonderfull. IMO, care, understanding and forgiving is more important than trust. I too dun believe in loving some1 if he doesn't love you. It is the sacrificial you make. Are you willing to die for some1 and he doesn't love you? The logical answer in NO. Nothing is equal in life otherwise we will not accept we are gay. An open relationship is just play play only. You are happy? So do i! You are not happy? So am i! When some1 aks you for a 3some, he does not love you. Do you wanna share your love with some1? Are you too posssive? How many people like you are willing to sacrify? Hope i do not give the wrong answer. You are falling for the wrong person.

[kerbee10]

kerbee, I don't think you know what BGR means.

You probably think that it's a real REAL relationship. It actually means Boy Girl Relationship.

So if you're trying to say that BGR starts with love first, then you're wrong, because relationships, regardless of their gender orientation, happens the same way(s).

It's either one night that turned into attachment, or just plain love.

BGR is Boy Girl Relationship. It is used to refer to puppy love... aka, love between two young teens.

LTR is Long Term Relationship. This is a general term, for something lasting. Usually used in the realm of the internet.

:clap:

Hi,

Thanks for your amendments..but by the way how do you know I duno BGR....

To each of his own..but I phrase my statement very generally..but if you can get the meaning of what i am trying to relate..or you yourself been into a BGR before then you would understand what i meant..

Indeed LTR or BGR just only a entity....but in the scene many many have been using LTR as = to a guy loving a guy... I am just quoting it as an example.....

sorry no offense to you...

its only purely my views...and open for discussion...eveyone define their desire for love differently..its not important to accept others defination..because as long you enjoy the process of the LOVE substances...you will find what you want to know..

cheers

[Buaya]

Love is...

When he is not around, you wonder how he is...

When he is sick, you wish you are the one who's in pain...

When he needs you, you want to be there for him...

When you are angry with him but you see him and he smiles, you forgive him right away...

When he is around you, you want to hold his hand and kiss him on the face, no matter what the others around you mght think...

When he kisses you, you wish the time would stop and you would kiss forever...

When he sleeps, you wish you don't have to sleep and can just see him sleep peacefully...

When he snores, you think it is not that loud... And eventually you will get use to it...

Ahh... When you are in love...

Ok, the above is just some of the feelings I have about being in love... When I love a person, I will just end up loving him more with each passing day... unless he does something really unforgivable... Or he leaves me... I guess I am a little silly in this respect...

[Guest only love]

love is priceless. we are a seed of love and our task is to move forward in life to nurture it from within us. a nurtured love [spelt self love] eventually bears the fruits, the flowers, the aroma, the height, the colours with its bright shining light and above all, a foundation to raise our body, mind and soul towards a better individual. with it, it's a pyramid of elegance and attraction.

in nurturing [spelt positive thinking and healing], we open our hearts for better things in life. nothing else matters [spelt acceptance]. we shall live life with understanding [spelt non-judgemental] and honouring and accepting everything that we'll be experiencing [spelt positive thinking].

we say that's life is a box of chocolates [spelt choices]; each with its unique taste to every individuals. at the end of the day, all the chocolates in the box will be picked. every individual has a place here in this life - the only thing that separates 'the winners and the losers' [spelt ego] is how we have taken seriously with that seed of love.

a full grown nurtured seed, even if the branches or trunks seem awkward to some people [spelt physical attractions], commands a special connection. it's unquestionable and we just cant fathom sometimes why we can like someone who have nothing but love. a full grown nurtured seed is forever whilst a full grown un-nurtured seed undergoes trials and tribulations.

life, afterall, centers on love. we do everything from love. when we are in love with our negativity, life begets negativity. and true when we are in love with all-things-well, it just begets all-things-well.

where there is love, nothing is too much trouble, and there is always time.

[newguy2l]

again people here so long winded

love = sex

that's all

[GachiMuchi]

again people here so long winded

love = sex

that's all

Sorry! Wrong! Sex is a subset of Love but Love is not equal to Sex.

Some can have Love then they can have sex.

Some can have Sex without Love

Some can love many

Some can only Love one

Some can have sex with anyone

Some can only have sex with one

Different folks different strokes. To each his own.

[bigtommyboysg]

LOVE IS:

living one more day longer than him so that i can accompany him and be with him till the end. to be by his side and care for him till the end. just that one more day.

[Guest Gogo]

LOVE IS:

living one more day longer than him so that i can accompany him and be with him till the end. to be by his side and care for him till the end. just that one more day.

Waaa ~~~ so touch. *sniff sniff* ... and the tomb stone breaks open, two butterflies (both male) flying out of the crack into the sky ...

[Guest Guest]

This is so sweet...

Love is...

When he is not around, you wonder how he is...

When he is sick, you wish you are the one who's in pain...

When he needs you, you want to be there for him...

When you are angry with him but you see him and he smiles, you forgive him right away...

When he is around you, you want to hold his hand and kiss him on the face, no matter what the others around you mght think...

When he kisses you, you wish the time would stop and you would kiss forever...

When he sleeps, you wish you don't have to sleep and can just see him sleep peacefully...

When he snores, you think it is not that loud... And eventually you will get use to it...

Ahh... When you are in love...

Ok, the above is just some of the feelings I have about being in love... When I love a person, I will just end up loving him more with each passing day... unless he does something really unforgivable... Or he leaves me... I guess I am a little silly in this respect...

[gz69a]

Love is about deep feelings that goes further than carnal sex and physical sensations.

 

It is in the heart, in the mind and transcends the physical touch.  Yes our senses magnify those feelings but even when the person you love is not around the feeling and glow should be there.

 

If you love someone and is reciprocated, it is a great joy and blessing.  But you can still give love.  Love has to be unconditional.   

 

I am running out of words...

[Guest Guest]

Love is when u just want to give without any expectation...u feel u have so much love to give, nothing can't stop you from giving and loving, cos it brings you so much joy in return

[Guest Guest]

And I always believe you won't know love until you experience its unconditional aspect. It is like you won't know how does something taste like until u tasted it. What we know before that r just concepts that r fed to us by others or the society.

[Guest Guest]

Love is about sacrificing your time and money without expecting anything in return!!!

[leibniz]

It's neuro-biochemical product - a brain chemistry. That's what love is. What love means is another question. 

[Guest Stephen_K]

And I always believe you won't know love until you experience its unconditional aspect. It is like you won't know how does something taste like until u tasted it. What we know before that r just concepts that r fed to us by others or the society.

 

How true it is but how many can truly love another unconditionally with no expectations except the love from parents ( and even so, it is not applicable to all parents on earth)

[Guest Guest]

How true it is but how many can truly love another unconditionally with no expectations except the love from parents ( and even so, it is not applicable to all parents on earth)

It is possible because love is our essence. We are at different stages in life which are leading us to experience unconditional love.

The way to achieve that is to be aware that we get held back by fear..which is the opposite of love.

Fear gives us the illusion that we r going to lose something if we don't get what our ego telling us to get. Don't think or rationalise too much, follow your heart cos your higher self will lead you to where u r supposed to go.

[Guest Stephen_K]

It is possible because love is our essence. We are at different stages in life which are leading us to experience unconditional love.

The way to achieve that is to be aware that we get held back by fear..which is the opposite of love.

Fear gives us the illusion that we r going to lose something if we don't get what our ego telling us to get. Don't think or rationalise too much, follow your heart cos your higher self will lead you to where u r supposed to go.

 I truly agree on the fear portion but how do u define unconditional love? Wont it be suffocating to the other party if the love is unbalanced?

[Guest Stephen_K]

It is possible because love is our essence. We are at different stages in life which are leading us to experience unconditional love.

The way to achieve that is to be aware that we get held back by fear..which is the opposite of love.

Fear gives us the illusion that we r going to lose something if we don't get what our ego telling us to get. Don't think or rationalise too much, follow your heart cos your higher self will lead you to where u r supposed to go.

 I truly agree on the fear portion but how do u define unconditional love? Wont it be suffocating to the other party if the love is unbalanced?

[Guest Haddaway]

[Guest Haddaway]

Sorry for the lameness. First thing that came to mind.

[Guest Guest]

I truly agree on the fear portion but how do u define unconditional love? Wont it be suffocating to the other party if the love is unbalanced?

If u realize, I am also the guest replying on the other thread on waiting..haha

Unconditional love is when u love without expectation of anything in return. In fact, u give(love) because it gives u so much joy in giving(loving). You won't feel suffocating cos u also know to express unconditional love to yourself..u r in control of the pace of giving and receiving where everything will flow in perfect harmony.

U know u need not hurry, u won't feel agitated or depressed if things don't go your way..as you know at the end, everything will be perfect as what it is meant to be

[Guest Stephen_K]

If u realize, I am also the guest replying on the other thread on waiting..haha

Unconditional love is when u love without expectation of anything in return. In fact, u give(love) because it gives u so much joy in giving(loving). You won't feel suffocating cos u also know to express unconditional love to yourself..u r in control of the pace of giving and receiving where everything will flow in perfect harmony.

U know u need not hurry, u won't feel agitated or depressed if things don't go your way..as you know at the end, everything will be perfect as what it is meant to be

This is soooo philosophical...It is so much easy to say then to put it in practice or at least for me...how do you control the pace of giving and receiving? What do you receive? His love in return or the joy or providing love? What do you mean express unconditional love yourself? I do know what you mean on your last sentence on "everything will be perfect as what it is meant to be" but this concept is still very new to me

 

Ya i sort of guess you were same guy..hahaha

[Guest Guest]

This is soooo philosophical...It is so much easy to say then to put it in practice or at least for me...how do you control the pace of giving and receiving? What do you receive? His love in return or the joy or providing love? What do you mean express unconditional love yourself? I do know what you mean on your last sentence on "everything will be perfect as what it is meant to be" but this concept is still very new to me

Ya i sort of guess you were same guy..hahaha

Yes I hv gone thru a period of distresss mentioned in the other thread to come to this realization. It is difficult to feel it even though u know it intellectually.

What I get in return is the deepest peace and joy. U will continue to love him whether he loves u in return, cos as u r not expecting anything u won't feel hurt.

It is a good start u r asking these questions. What I can suggest is try to ask yourself what he means to u. Why r u in love with him? Sometimes asking yourself question is as important as getting the answers. Try to figure out as an outsider whenever u hv negative feeling, why do u feel certain ways..was it because u were expecting something

[Guest Stephen_K]

Yes I hv gone thru a period of distresss mentioned in the other thread to come to this realization. It is difficult to feel it even though u know it intellectually.

What I get in return is the deepest peace and joy. U will continue to love him whether he loves u in return, cos as u r not expecting anything u won't feel hurt.

It is a good start u r asking these questions. What I can suggest is try to ask yourself what he means to u. Why r u in love with him? Sometimes asking yourself question is as important as getting the answers. Try to figure out as an outsider whenever u hv negative feeling, why do u feel certain ways..was it because u were expecting something

Many have asked me the question of why do I like him and till now I cannot pinpoint an actual reason. He is of course cute, charismatic, articulative, smart and to some extent similar to me in terms of personalities but these are not the actual reasons..I simply like him because I just like him.

I have negative feelings as I felt insecure;I am afraid I will lose that liking of him during the wait. He told me he will be a better person (or not) after August as currently he is going a lot of things in his life; his passionate career was messed up by his working partners and his mum who is currently overseas is sick ( he is trying to fly back to see her). I guess he is sorting things out and need a lot of space/alone time but I am afraid of losing that liking feeling ( It may really prove/confirm that what others around us have been "poisoning" me with; I am just only simply infatuated with him and we do not belong to be together at all).

[Guest Guest]

Many have asked me the question of why do I like him and till now I cannot pinpoint an actual reason. He is of course cute, charismatic, articulative, smart and to some extent similar to me in terms of personalities but these are not the actual reasons..I simply like him because I just like him.

I have negative feelings as I felt insecure;I am afraid I will lose that liking of him during the wait. He told me he will be a better person (or not) after August as currently he is going a lot of things in his life; his passionate career was messed up by his working partners and his mum who is currently overseas is sick ( he is trying to fly back to see her). I guess he is sorting things out and need a lot of space/alone time but I am afraid of losing that liking feeling ( It may really prove/confirm that what others around us have been "poisoning" me with; I am just only simply infatuated with him and we do not belong to be together at all).

It is the negative feeling or fear that I mentioned earlier..why there is a need to fear what is going to happen in the future? If u lose interest during the wait, it is just another outcome, which seems to you undesirable at this moment. Since there is this period of uncertainty, why not give yourself a chance to letting go your control of the future and enjoy the moment while you are still in his life.

I believe he is going thru some diffilcult moments. You can just be there to support him whatever you can without any expectation on what u will get at the end. This will really be a good test if both of you r meant to be together. If he needs to be alone, just let him know u r there whenever he needs you. Your anxiety about the future will not be helpful to him during this period.

If u see it, it is a learning experience for you too. U will definitely be a better person and lover after going thru all this.

[Guest Stephen_K]

It is the negative feeling or fear that I mentioned earlier..why there is a need to fear what is going to happen in the future? If u lose interest during the wait, it is just another outcome, which seems to you undesirable at this moment. Since there is this period of uncertainty, why not give yourself a chance to letting go your control of the future and enjoy the moment while you are still in his life.

I believe he is going thru some diffilcult moments. You can just be there to support him whatever you can without any expectation on what u will get at the end. This will really be a good test if both of you r meant to be together. If he needs to be alone, just let him know u r there whenever he needs you. Your anxiety about the future will not be helpful to him during this period.

If u see it, it is a learning experience for you too. U will definitely be a better person and lover after going thru all this.

I have previously went through a lot of disappointments..though i have picked myself up after each failure, it has however reached a stage of fearing of going through it again...

 

What you have replied have definitely invoke a lot of deep thinking....I want to be there for him while giving him the space and time ( i will check on him via text messages every 2-3 days) but patience is really not my strength

 

For him, I will try to wait patiently...at least for the few months he has asked me to do so

Edited June 18, 2013 by Stephen_K

[inamoto]

Love for me is:

 

- the stage when sex is not the most impt input to your r/s

 

- knowing how the other party's day has been will affect your mood (eg. If u had a shitty day but you know that he has had a fruitful day, it somehow puts a tiny smile to your face and vice versa)

 

- being willing to do the little things for him that can put a smile of his face 

 

- ever so looking forward to seeing him, even at the end of a long day 

 

- when he is unhappy, you are always ready to be his dependable harbour 

 

- when things don't go well for him, you just wish to be the one that is going through on his behalf 

 

- when he is faced with things that he cannot solve, you think of ways to help him with it

 

- when superficial issues that usually are a taboo to you, don't apply to him (eg. u are fine to look beyond his looks etc) 

 

- you are appreciative of being able to be with him and look forward to each day with him 

 

- when his interests starts to be of your priority 

 

- if he falls sick, you will not complain of the hassle but will have the thought of nursing him to health

 

- when you start planning to start a life with him

 

- when you can sense the level of trust and commitment through non verbal languages

 

- when this person gives u the hope in life

 

That's just my humble opinion

Edited June 20, 2013 by ina

[hggave]

Ina.. i agree with your opinion.

However, the other party should show the same feeling too, otherwise it would be one-sided love.

[inamoto]

hggave: it takes both hands have to clap but mostly, we can only control our side of the equation.. if it screws up, i ain't our fault.. nothing can be worst than blaming yourself for messing up something great.. 

Edited June 19, 2013 by ina

[Guest Stephen_K]

I have previously went through a lot of disappointments..though i have picked myself up after each failure, it has however reached a stage of fearing of going through it again...

 

What you have replied have definitely invoke a lot of deep thinking....I want to be there for him while giving him the space and time ( i will check on him via text messages every 2-3 days) but patience is really not my strength

 

For him, I will try to wait patiently...at least for the few months he has asked me to do so

You guys are so right on the reciprocating portion...it need not be the same but at least should be 2 sided...guess it is better off to be friends/acquaintances

[gongtang]

love is:

-when I think of you all the time, irritating sometimes, happy sometimes.

-looking forward to see you everyday.

-having the urge to talk to you all the time.

[dannysuz]

To me, there is no such thing called love. This is the feeling when you are lonely and you need someone to fill up your loneliness.  Adam and Eve. Eve was created from Adam for him to enjoy so that he was not lonely. Is there love between Adam and Eve ?

 

If you are busy working or playing, will you still thinking of your love one ?

[Anonymouslymystical]

Some say love, it is a river, that drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor, that leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need

 

- Bette Midler, The Rose

[GoodBoyRan]

I think love is different things for different people. 

 

I can't give a definition for it, but I think I'll know it when I see it.

 

I see it when my parents continue to care for me and accept me despite the numerous times I have continued to fail them.

 

I see in elderly couples who hold hands and walk together slowly, smiling together with the person that have stood with them through the years.

 

I see it when a child eagerly embraces her mum and showers her with kisses without any restraints.

 

I see it when a person decides to admit and announce to the world that he's in a relationship with another person that society might not approve of, despite knowing fully that he stands to lose all the other important relationships in his life but deciding that being with this person was worth that risk. 

 

Although it can be painful, confusing or intense, I think on the whole, love is pretty awesome.

[Guest Guest]

To me, there is no such thing called love. This is the feeling when you are lonely and you need someone to fill up your loneliness. Adam and Eve. Eve was created from Adam for him to enjoy so that he was not lonely. Is there love between Adam and Eve ?

If you are busy working or playing, will you still thinking of your love one ?

so u r working or playing?

[Guest game]

Love is nothing more than a game.

[GreatMast]

I actually made a search for this topic... Hmm a aj friend I meet recently, who I feel is in really deep thoughts, told me he "just wanna find his true love", it kept me thinking after that, so what's true love? does it matter who u fall in love with or who fall in love with u? does it matter is that person is a he or she? how old is he/she? what he/she does in life? how much $$ he/she has? I know the answer is NO to all of them... if so, what is it that makes u fall in love with someone? should there a reason to like somebody?

[Dorkable]

Love is.....instead of running away and giving up at the slightest hint of adversity, take it as an opportunity to show the other how much he means to you and how much you care about him.

[Only4awhile]

Love is a second hand emotion.

Like happiness, love is something everyone wants, most talk about, few understand and have.

Like math n science, love should be practiced more rather than preached.

To say you love someone before you even commit is to lie.

[Clickclock]

baby don't hurt me

don't hurt me, 

no more

[Guest Guest]

"The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give. When you love, you subconsciously strive to become better than you are. When you strive to become better than you are, everything around you becomes better too. During your youth, love will be your teacher; in your middle age, love will be your foundation; and in your old age, love will be your fondest memories and your greatest delight."

"When you start to really know someone, most of their physical characteristics vanish in your mind. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize their scent, and appreciate their wit. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with physical beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, or want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body for a little while, but not your heart in the long-term. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, most physical imperfections become irrelevant."

http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/08/06/12-rules-for-being-a-human-being/

[allyremen]

Love is when you go to bed with this notsohot guy and make love to him and then want to do it over and over again ...

[snowball]

    开始总是甜蜜的。后来就有了厌倦、习惯、背弃、寂寞、绝望和冷笑。

    曾经渴望与一个人长相厮守，后来，多么庆幸自己离开了？

    曾几何时，在一段短暂的时光里，我们以为自己深深的爱着的一个人。后来，我们才知道，那不是爱，那只是对自己说谎。

    你以为不可失去的人，原来并非不可失去。你流干了眼泪，自有另一个人逗你欢笑。你伤心欲绝，然后发现不爱你的人，根本不值得你为之伤心。今天回首，何尝不是一个喜剧？情尽时，自有另一番新境界，所有的悲哀也不过是历史。

    爱情总是想象比现实美丽，相逢如是，告别亦如是。我们以为爱得很深、很深，来日岁月，会让你知道，它不过很浅、很浅。最深最重的爱，必须和时日一起成长。

    因为爱情的缘故，两个陌生人可以突然熟络到睡在同一张床上。然而，相同的两个人，在分手时却说，我觉得你越来越陌生。

    爱情将两个人由陌生变成熟悉，又由熟悉变成陌生。爱情正是一个将一对陌生人变成情侣，又将一对情侣变成陌生人的游戏。

    相信爱情可以令一个人改变，是年轻的好处，也是年轻的悲哀。浪子永远是浪子。

时间会让你了解爱情，时间能够证明爱情，也能够把爱推翻.

[rotikawin]

字里行间好像流露出很多惆怅和遗憾。

Truthfully written, but saddening nonetheless.