Guest Why? Posted July 8, 2022 Report Share Posted July 8, 2022 Abit shameless no? considering that the other party is a working adult as well… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greenliv Posted July 8, 2022 Report Share Posted July 8, 2022 Maybe it's a case of the more you give, the more you will receive. If you can afford it, it's a blessing to give than to receive. It's never shameful to receive. It is miserable to live life thinking that everything must be fair and square. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Why? Posted July 8, 2022 Report Share Posted July 8, 2022 On 7/8/2022 at 7:46 PM, Guest Why? said: Abit shameless no? considering that the other party is a working adult as well… Because he confident that you will like him. Thus he is entitled to be treated as though you are taking advantage of his good look. It happens in the Gay circle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted July 8, 2022 Report Share Posted July 8, 2022 Usually I treat people I don't expect people to treat me .Is only food do not have to be so calculating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Michael Posted July 9, 2022 Report Share Posted July 9, 2022 On 7/8/2022 at 7:46 PM, Guest Why? said: Abit shameless no? considering that the other party is a working adult as well… U met one who is shameless and u come online to lament abt it So between shameless and brainless I pick the former Typical of many , Mr. A made a mistake, instead complain to Mr. B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keyboard Posted July 9, 2022 Report Share Posted July 9, 2022 so tempted to write... i expect the uglier one to treat #prettyprivileges Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radiusulnar Posted July 9, 2022 Report Share Posted July 9, 2022 i think should split And then 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted July 9, 2022 Report Share Posted July 9, 2022 Also, on a side note, if one party books a hotel room for a meetup, it's only right for the other guy to offer to pay half, especially if he (guest guy) is staying for the entire duration of the booking. Some gays will just meet up but pretend to not realise that they should at least offer to pay half the rent money. Conversely, if one gay decides to meet up and have fun using very expensive sex toys (or other items) that are planned for his own use during the meetup, then it's not fair to make the other guy pay half for all the items, especially if after the session, the first guy is going to bring all the items home. A lot of these meetup "rules" stem from common human decency and etiquette. Sadly, there are many cheapskate and unprincipled gays in the community who don't bother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keyboard Posted July 9, 2022 Report Share Posted July 9, 2022 On 7/9/2022 at 3:38 PM, Since u r here said: u bad! but ie the truth ! eeeerrrrr. ni hao huai, ni hao huai. pulls pants down and bend over On 7/9/2022 at 4:03 PM, radiusulnar said: i think should split split legs? split hair? split cheeks? i don't think sex must be included in a first meet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 Treating the other guy on the first meet-up is ok lar, don't be so calculative, esp you can afford to pay for the treat. Unless everytime when you go out with this guy, and you are expected to pay everytime then a bit too much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
And then Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 If it is some stranger you are never going to see again, then I think it is a bit weird to treat or be treated. Different situation if there has been/ will be physical intimacy, been Facebook friends chit chat for a while, people you will likely keep on having some sort of contact with, or people you have spent some time with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Try and see Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 On 7/10/2022 at 9:48 AM, Guest guest said: Treating the other guy on the first meet-up is ok lar, don't be so calculative, esp you can afford to pay for the treat. Unless everytime when you go out with this guy, and you are expected to pay everytime then a bit too much. My personal rule is to see the earning status of the other person. One time, I went out with a doctor (straight married guy, and it wasn't a date) for dinner, and he expected me to pay for it! I would have been more willing if he was a student or maybe unemployed. But a doctor! 🤦♂️ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Melvin Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 Isn't it about who is courting who ?? If you date me for a dinner and it is not a friend outing and I have to pay half ?? On 7/8/2022 at 9:14 PM, Guest Guest said: Usually I treat people I don't expect people to treat me .Is only food do not have to be so calculating. U look at food. I look at principle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radiusulnar Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 On 7/9/2022 at 7:11 PM, keyboard said: eeeerrrrr. ni hao huai, ni hao huai. pulls pants down and bend over split legs? split hair? split cheeks? i don't think sex must be included in a first meet. sorry, i did not say clearly. should be split the bill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 Don't give gay a bad impression fighting over a cup of coffee on who pay for the coffee for first blind date. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Susan Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 On 7/10/2022 at 4:04 PM, Guest Guest said: Don't give gay a bad impression fighting over a cup of coffee on who pay for the coffee for first blind date. Oh so by paying coffee on the first date will give GAY a good name (what if it is a dinner at Mortons) still wanna good name or split or depending on earning power or depending on who is courting who ? Actually there is NO right or wrong. It all depends on your the situation and exercise discretion , that all ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abc_sg Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 Well, I don’t expect anyone paying my bill even when I was student with small budget. If the guy wanted to date at a place I can’t afford, I simply just tell him I couldn’t afford it and suggest another place, and reject it if he insisted on his choice and wanted to pay for me. I mean, if things work out between 2 of us, he or i would have lots of chance to treat each other. If not, I wouldn’t feel like I owe him something. Balestier, Kimochi and Leanmeat 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ffffffff Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 My fren at age 15, was already acting like a major star with diva temper, even before he even became one! Saturday nights, supper at Hyatt, the ground floor eatery. Back in the days 1983 where it's the place to see and be seen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keyboard Posted July 10, 2022 Report Share Posted July 10, 2022 On 7/10/2022 at 4:01 PM, radiusulnar said: sorry, i did not say clearly. should be split the bill. Just teasing. In case you wanted to split more stuffs. 🤤 Are we assuming this is for a date or just meet ups (cos there are people who are chronic serial meet ups). On the doctor note, they do carry huge debts unless you're saying someone who already owns their own clinics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted July 11, 2022 Report Share Posted July 11, 2022 Blind date go only macdonal why go Morton?Trying to show off than people can sharper their knife.Be smart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest GUEst Posted July 11, 2022 Report Share Posted July 11, 2022 On 7/10/2022 at 10:16 AM, Guest Try and see said: My personal rule is to see the earning status of the other person. One time, I went out with a doctor (straight married guy, and it wasn't a date) for dinner, and he expected me to pay for it! I would have been more willing if he was a student or maybe unemployed. But a doctor! 🤦♂️ Either he is a cheapo doctor or stingy doctor. Some people are very stingy even they are rich. Even ask them to buy you one cup of $1.20 kopi at a coffeeshop, they also would not. So many times earning status of a person is not equal whether he will give a treat or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leanmeat Posted July 11, 2022 Report Share Posted July 11, 2022 (edited) Usually the younger ones expect u to spend. Even if they are not super young also. Or he thinks he cute enough for u to spend. Edited July 11, 2022 by Leanmeat Balestier 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leanmeat Posted July 11, 2022 Report Share Posted July 11, 2022 (edited) On 7/10/2022 at 7:53 PM, abc_sg said: Well, I don’t expect anyone paying my bill even when I was student with small budget. If the guy wanted to date at a place I can’t afford, I simply just tell him I couldn’t afford it and suggest another place, and reject it if he insisted on his choice and wanted to pay for me. I mean, if things work out between 2 of us, he or i would have lots of chance to treat each other. If not, I wouldn’t feel like I owe him something. Yah. Better than feeling u owe them something. Esp when u r not even "friends" yet Edited July 11, 2022 by Leanmeat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singalion Posted July 11, 2022 Report Share Posted July 11, 2022 (edited) Why do people expect you to treat them on the first meet up? I fail to see the point: Isn't it the "first meet up" for both? So how can one side ask to be "treated" from the other? Edited July 11, 2022 by singalion Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Melvin Posted July 12, 2022 Report Share Posted July 12, 2022 On 7/12/2022 at 7:01 AM, singalion said: Why do people expect you to treat them on the first meet up? I fail to see the point: Isn't it the "first meet up" for both? So how can one side ask to be "treated" from the other? That is why you are Ang mo and we are asian Just like you guys dont understand why we gave money to our parents , monthly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singalion Posted July 12, 2022 Report Share Posted July 12, 2022 On 7/12/2022 at 7:01 AM, singalion said: Why do people expect you to treat them on the first meet up? I fail to see the point: Isn't it the "first meet up" for both? So how can one side ask to be "treated" from the other? But who is going to be treated on the first meet up? The shorter one? The bottom? The eventually less masculine one? The younger one? The one who allegedly has the lower salary? The one who did not send the first contact or request to meet up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robin Posted July 12, 2022 Report Share Posted July 12, 2022 I don’t mind & I almost always treated a date on the first meeting. But I must admit I do use their response to access the suitability to be my partner. If the response is self-entitlement, naturally it’s almost the last meeting. When I first met my partner, he was still a part-time student & was holding a part-time job as well. It was supposed to be a dinner plus movie date. I paid for the dinner & he quickly insisted to pay for the movie. Subsequently on the 1st two months, whenever we go for our weekly hotel staycation, though I always offer to pick up the bill, once a month, he will insist he will do it. That naturally sets a good stage for a LTR. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mary Posted July 12, 2022 Report Share Posted July 12, 2022 On 7/12/2022 at 12:08 PM, singalion said: But who is going to be treated on the first meet up? The shorter one? The bottom? The eventually less masculine one? The younger one? The one who allegedly has the lower salary? The one who did not send the first contact or request to meet up? The one courting the other Remember u r aftering me not the other way around That is how Asian works , hence wedding , Male side pays alot more than the female side In fact now with my bf , he bears all cost . Day 1 I made know to him , u r aftering me, u r richer than me, if half /half I might as well be single Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singalion Posted July 12, 2022 Report Share Posted July 12, 2022 On 7/12/2022 at 12:11 PM, robin said: I don’t mind & I almost always treated a date on the first meeting. But I must admit I do use their response to access the suitability to be my partner. If the response is self-entitlement, naturally it’s almost the last meeting. When I first met my partner, he was still a part-time student & was holding a part-time job as well. It was supposed to be a dinner plus movie date. I paid for the dinner & he quickly insisted to pay for the movie. Subsequently on the 1st two months, whenever we go for our weekly hotel staycation, though I always offer to pick up the bill, once a month, he will insist he will do it. That naturally sets a good stage for a LTR. The right and humble person will reciprocate at his means... He might not take you to a 5* hotel brunch but with some effort will look for a romantic spot at the seaside or elsewhere and treat you in return. I don't think anything one sided will work out in the long term. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Melvin Posted July 12, 2022 Report Share Posted July 12, 2022 On 7/12/2022 at 12:08 PM, singalion said: But who is going to be treated on the first meet up? The shorter one? The bottom? The eventually less masculine one? The younger one? The one who allegedly has the lower salary? The one who did not send the first contact or request to meet up? So let me understand you / your culture In your culture ,. If you are interested in me, asking me out for dinner but go on Dutch, that is how you guy works right ?? When in ROME do as the ....... That why there are many things NO right or wrong , just cultural diff. My bf is Ang mo, he was like you - your theory ! I made it so clear, u want me, in my country Singapore, do it this way , otherwise pls try others esp those keen in u , I am sure they don't mind paying for u , let alone go on Dutch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Melvin Posted July 12, 2022 Report Share Posted July 12, 2022 On 7/12/2022 at 2:11 PM, singalion said: The right and humble person will reciprocate at his means... He might not take you to a 5* hotel brunch but with some effort will look for a romantic spot at the seaside or elsewhere and treat you in return. I don't think anything one sided will work out in the long term. I just prove you wrong Now that we are together for 11 years, he not only pay for everything, now it includes house and car Is all about how much u love a person and willing to share your wealth Is very clear in my re/ship , he is a giver (he was aftering me) I love him not to the point to split half my wealth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singalion Posted July 12, 2022 Report Share Posted July 12, 2022 On 7/12/2022 at 2:11 PM, Guest Melvin said: So let me understand you / your culture In your culture ,. If you are interested in me, asking me out for dinner but go on Dutch, that is how you guy works right ?? When in ROME do as the ....... That why there are many things NO right or wrong , just cultural diff. My bf is Ang mo, he was like you - your theory ! I made it so clear, u want me, in my country Singapore, do it this way , otherwise pls try others esp those keen in u , I am sure they don't mind paying for u , let alone go on Dutch You are wrong. there are plenty of local guys in Singapore who go "on Dutch", even in the first meet up. Some will even insist before you went for the date or at the start of the first meet. Local guys tend not to "look cheap" or as if they are only interested in your wallet... I m not sure if you meeting a lot of Singaporean guys for a first date... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Melvin Posted July 12, 2022 Report Share Posted July 12, 2022 On 7/12/2022 at 2:15 PM, singalion said: You are wrong. there are plenty of local guys in Singapore who go "on Dutch", even in the first meet up. Some will even insist before you went for the date or at the start of the first meet. Local guys tend not to "look cheap" or as if they are only interested in your wallet... I m not sure if you meeting a lot of Singaporean guys for a first date... I dont , not like u , so many dates with those willing to go Dutch. Is good u have your pic and make known your requirements, less conflict Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singalion Posted July 12, 2022 Report Share Posted July 12, 2022 (edited) On 7/12/2022 at 2:13 PM, Guest Melvin said: I just prove you wrong Now that we are together for 11 years, he not only pay for everything, now it includes house and car Is all about how much u love a person and willing to share your wealth Is very clear in my re/ship , he is a giver (he was aftering me) I love him not to the point to split half my wealth Sure, there are guys (also in a relationship) who think they can keep a relationship going by throwing money to the other. I personally think this is not a good way to have a long term perspective for any relationship and I don't think it would last forever. Nobody has been talking about splitting half all the time... Relationships are a give and take but made up from different factors... It looks to me like you have not yet learned what love means and your own post tells us this. Edited July 12, 2022 by singalion Leanmeat 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leanmeat Posted July 12, 2022 Report Share Posted July 12, 2022 Well even if it was the other party asking me out, I wouldn't mind going on dutch. Really dont wanna feel like I owe a favour. Esp if you dont knw if you gonna meet again. Better go Dutch. But then I prefer I pick the place. Dart and cumulusish 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dart Posted July 12, 2022 Report Share Posted July 12, 2022 On 7/8/2022 at 7:46 PM, Guest Why? said: Abit shameless no? considering that the other party is a working adult as well… Shameless indeed. Meeting up is to know the other person better face to face for potential friendship. Friendship is never one way, it's always able to give and able to take for both parties. The first meeting will be the first impression and the most important one to kick start a friendship. There was this guy who suggested we meet at a posh Japanese restaurant and he initiated that he would treat me. He seemed to be always looking around and quite restless while on our first date. That was a red flag. When the bill came, he took out his credit card only to be told that restaurant only accepted cash. Ending up I have to foot for the bill. He apologized and swore he would treat me the next meeting. I did not buy it. The call never came as I expected. Another incident with another guy, a more cultivated one from what I perceived. He told me upfront that we go on separate bill. It was a relax atmosphere and with no reservation we had a fun time together. fab and Leanmeat 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Michael Posted July 13, 2022 Report Share Posted July 13, 2022 On 7/13/2022 at 12:21 AM, Dart said: Shameless indeed. Meeting up is to know the other person better face to face for potential friendship. Friendship is never one way, it's always able to give and able to take for both parties. The first meeting will be the first impression and the most important one to kick start a friendship. There was this guy who suggested we meet at a posh Japanese restaurant and he initiated that he would treat me. He seemed to be always looking around and quite restless while on our first date. That was a red flag. When the bill came, he took out his credit card only to be told that restaurant only accepted cash. Ending up I have to foot for the bill. He apologized and swore he would treat me the next meeting. I did not buy it. The call never came as I expected. Another incident with another guy, a more cultivated one from what I perceived. He told me upfront that we go on separate bill. It was a relax atmosphere and with no reservation we had a fun time together. posh implied atas / expensive yet dont accept CC - interesting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singalion Posted July 13, 2022 Report Share Posted July 13, 2022 On 7/13/2022 at 12:21 AM, Dart said: There was this guy who suggested we meet at a posh Japanese restaurant and he initiated that he would treat me. He seemed to be always looking around and quite restless while on our first date. That was a red flag. When the bill came, he took out his credit card only to be told that restaurant only accepted cash. Ending up I have to foot for the bill. You could have acted with some drama and force him to go to the next ATM and withdraw some cash.... 🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dart Posted July 13, 2022 Report Share Posted July 13, 2022 On 7/13/2022 at 11:01 AM, Guest Michael said: posh implied atas / expensive yet dont accept CC - interesting. Tahulah saya apa itu posh 😄 Very few posh establishments still demand for hard cash and this particular one did. Wonder how they manage the large amount of cash by the end of the day. On 7/13/2022 at 4:53 PM, singalion said: You could have acted with some drama and force him to go to the next ATM and withdraw some cash.... 🤣 I had a feeling he was familiar with the restaurant. Fortunately, I brought enough cash otherwise we would do the cleaning up of dishes right after our meals. That lad was so hard up for fine Japanese cuisine and saw me as a walking ATM 😄 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sayfirst Posted July 13, 2022 Report Share Posted July 13, 2022 Imo, people who have this expectation of the other person picking up the bill the first time reeks of self-entitlement. Kimochi and Leanmeat 2 Quote A licensed gay realtor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derryfawne Posted July 14, 2022 Report Share Posted July 14, 2022 Too many variables, just leave it to how things roll on... with a pre-expectation that going Dutch is the default unless anyone suggests otherwise Quote “Do not take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.” — Elbert Hubbard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Try and see Posted July 15, 2022 Report Share Posted July 15, 2022 On 7/13/2022 at 12:21 AM, Dart said: There was this guy who suggested we meet at a posh Japanese restaurant and he initiated that he would treat me. He seemed to be always looking around and quite restless while on our first date. That was a red flag. When the bill came, he took out his credit card only to be told that restaurant only accepted cash. Ending up I have to foot for the bill. He apologized and swore he would treat me the next meeting. I did not buy it. The call never came as I expected. Another incident with another guy, a more cultivated one from what I perceived. He told me upfront that we go on separate bill. It was a relax atmosphere and with no reservation we had a fun time together. The first guy, if he was sincere, would have reimbursed you in cash the bill amount at his earliest chance. Apparently he just took advantage of you. Reminds me of one time when I treated my work subordinates for high tea buffet at the Shangri-la Hotel. Towards the end of the high tea, I realised, to my horror, that the cafe only accepted cash or credit cards. I had assumed that they accepted Nets as well, which was my intended mode of payment. Anyway, I told my subordinates to continue enjoying themselves while I went out to "get something". I basically brisked walked to the nearest ATM to withdraw enough cash for the bill, which was about $300. I have forgotten where the nearest ATM was by now, but I recall it being pretty far away. And it didn't help that Shangri-la Hotel is located on top of a small hill! The trip to and fro to withdraw the money and come back was quite a workout for me, and under the hot sun too! Anyway I made it back to the cafe in good time, and settled the bill when it was time to go. I didn't mention to my subordinates why I had to go out, and I was glad that they were too busy chatting with each other to ask. No way was I going to let my subordinates pay the bill (even temporarily) when I had promised them that I was going to treat them. That would have made me look like a real shitty supervisor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dart Posted July 15, 2022 Report Share Posted July 15, 2022 On 7/15/2022 at 8:17 PM, Guest Try and see said: The first guy, if he was sincere, would have reimbursed you in cash the bill amount at his earliest chance. Apparently he just took advantage of you. Reminds me of one time when I treated my work subordinates for high tea buffet at the Shangri-la Hotel. Towards the end of the high tea, I realised, to my horror, that the cafe only accepted cash or credit cards. I had assumed that they accepted Nets as well, which was my intended mode of payment. Anyway, I told my subordinates to continue enjoying themselves while I went out to "get something". I basically brisked walked to the nearest ATM to withdraw enough cash for the bill, which was about $300. I have forgotten where the nearest ATM was by now, but I recall it being pretty far away. And it didn't help that Shangri-la Hotel is located on top of a small hill! The trip to and fro to withdraw the money and come back was quite a workout for me, and under the hot sun too! Anyway I made it back to the cafe in good time, and settled the bill when it was time to go. I didn't mention to my subordinates why I had to go out, and I was glad that they were too busy chatting with each other to ask. No way was I going to let my subordinates pay the bill (even temporarily) when I had promised them that I was going to treat them. That would have made me look like a real shitty supervisor. The first guy obviously took advantage of me. His body language already wasn't in line with a genuine meet up. It's not really a big deal to me, it was just a one time incident and I tallied back my budget with two days of Nasi Lemak bungkus and Roti Canai haha .... just kidding. For the least, it was about food and not cheating in monetary term. Thanks for sharing your experience. Our action tells very much of our principle and how much we respect others and more importantly ourselves. mate69 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Try and see Posted July 15, 2022 Report Share Posted July 15, 2022 On 7/15/2022 at 11:55 PM, Dart said: The first guy obviously took advantage of me. His body language already wasn't in line with a genuine meet up. It's not really a big deal to me, it was just a one time incident and I tallied back my budget with two days of Nasi Lemak bungkus and Roti Canai haha .... just kidding. For the least, it was about food and not cheating in monetary term. Thanks for sharing your experience. Our action tells very much of our principle and how much we respect others and more importantly ourselves. Thanks for your sharing and kind words too! 👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Michael Posted July 16, 2022 Report Share Posted July 16, 2022 On 7/15/2022 at 8:17 PM, Guest Try and see said: The first guy, if he was sincere, would have reimbursed you in cash the bill amount at his earliest chance. Apparently he just took advantage of you. Reminds me of one time when I treated my work subordinates for high tea buffet at the Shangri-la Hotel. Towards the end of the high tea, I realised, to my horror, that the cafe only accepted cash or credit cards. I had assumed that they accepted Nets as well, which was my intended mode of payment. Anyway, I told my subordinates to continue enjoying themselves while I went out to "get something". I basically brisked walked to the nearest ATM to withdraw enough cash for the bill, which was about $300. I have forgotten where the nearest ATM was by now, but I recall it being pretty far away. And it didn't help that Shangri-la Hotel is located on top of a small hill! The trip to and fro to withdraw the money and come back was quite a workout for me, and under the hot sun too! Anyway I made it back to the cafe in good time, and settled the bill when it was time to go. I didn't mention to my subordinates why I had to go out, and I was glad that they were too busy chatting with each other to ask. No way was I going to let my subordinates pay the bill (even temporarily) when I had promised them that I was going to treat them. That would have made me look like a real shitty supervisor. 2 gays decided to meet up & wonder who should pick up the bill VS a HOD decided to buy his staffs a meal =- IT IS not the same situation. Furthermore u confessed you want to treat your staffs ! what else is there to compare ??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dart Posted July 16, 2022 Report Share Posted July 16, 2022 On 7/16/2022 at 9:36 AM, Guest Michael said: 2 gays decided to meet up & wonder who should pick up the bill VS a HOD decided to buy his staffs a meal =- IT IS not the same situation. Furthermore u confessed you want to treat your staffs ! what else is there to compare ??? The crux of the matter is the commitment to one's word. That's where the two cases meet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Michael Posted July 16, 2022 Report Share Posted July 16, 2022 On 7/16/2022 at 10:30 AM, Dart said: The crux of the matter is the commitment to one's word. That's where the two cases meet. U may wish to refer to the chat topic AGAIN , the punch word is expect and not commitment . He brough in a case whereby he committed. This chat is about expectation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dart Posted July 16, 2022 Report Share Posted July 16, 2022 On 7/16/2022 at 10:40 AM, Guest Michael said: U may wish to refer to the chat topic AGAIN , the punch word is expect and not commitment . He brough in a case whereby he committed. This chat is about expectation Likewise in my case, that guy committed. Therefore I expected him to carry out his word. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Try and see Posted July 16, 2022 Report Share Posted July 16, 2022 On 7/16/2022 at 10:30 AM, Dart said: The crux of the matter is the commitment to one's word. That's where the two cases meet. Thanks, bro! You're right there. On 7/16/2022 at 9:36 AM, Guest Michael said: 2 gays decided to meet up & wonder who should pick up the bill VS a HOD decided to buy his staffs a meal =- IT IS not the same situation. Furthermore u confessed you want to treat your staffs ! what else is there to compare ??? In Dart's case, his friend already agreed to pay for the Japanese food. While the credit card thing was not his fault, he could and should have repaid Dart as soon as he could. If I were that friend, I would have politely asked Dart to pay in cash first, and immediately transfer the amount to his bank account, thereby still honouring my word to treat him. Can tell his intention was not there. Small sidetrack, this is how it works with my mum and my aunt when we go out to eat. If my mum is treating the restaurant food, my aunt will still pay using her credit card, cos she wants the points. Then my mum will give her the cash. In my case, I promised my subordinates that it was my treat. I could have acted blur when it was time to pay the bill, and say that I only have a Nets card and no cash, and then use my authority to force my staff to split the bill among themselves, and then act blur after that by not repaying them. And I being their work superior, they would not dare to directly ask me back for the money. But what would that have made me? Yes, a complete as***le with no principles. I was not going to sell my integrity and honour for $300. If I said I would pay for the high tea, I'll pay for the high tea. If the cafe has no Nets terminal, I will get off my ass and look for an ATM, which was what I did, even if the nearest ATM was very far from the Shangri-la Hotel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singalion Posted July 16, 2022 Report Share Posted July 16, 2022 (edited) On 7/15/2022 at 8:17 PM, Guest Try and see said: Anyway, I told my subordinates to continue enjoying themselves while I went out to "get something". I basically brisked walked to the nearest ATM to withdraw enough cash for the bill, which was about $300. I have forgotten where the nearest ATM was by now, but I recall it being pretty far away. And it didn't help that Shangri-la Hotel is located on top of a small hill! The trip to and fro to withdraw the money and come back was quite a workout for me, and under the hot sun too! Orchard Towers or Forum should be the nearest ATM... 😂 Lucky you didn't pass by a hot boy at the Shangri La lobby and... let your guests wait for you... Not sure you can call the location of Shangri La being on a "hill"... Walked there plenty of times. If familiar there is even a secret shortcut. Edited July 16, 2022 by singalion Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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