Need some relationship advice

[just_random]

It’s probably just me being too overly attached and one sided. So……

I’ve met this guy from the G app and at around February, and has been texting. After which, he had to fly overseas for work hence we continued texting daily and had weekly video calls. I must say the the texts isn’t as fresh as before that one thing to note. But we did had plans to travel later this year and had booked air tickets.

Few weeks later, he had developed some dermatology medical issues and that’s where it started dying down as he said that he needs time to be alone and had no mood to text or communicate much as he is having anxiety and troubling with his issue. So we hardly texted.

Afterwards, as we initially planned to fly separately to the country as he and I are in long distance, he gave a heads up to me that the trip might have to be cancelled as he might be flying back home earlier from his overseas work due to his condition and not end of the year. But he’ll try to stay there longer and make the trip happen as my flight can’t be cancelled or refunded.

Recently, he gave me an update that he would be flying back home for a short trip due his condition and texted me that “we meet and talk more as well as discuss about the trip.”

So for the past few weeks till now, I’ve noticed from time to time from he posts ig stories and spending time with his friends. And I also noticed occasionally he was active on the G app.

I understand that he needs time alone and also needs his friends around him. But is it just me or I do feel I’m overly attached to him with all this things going on. And he probably had lesser attachment as compared to me.

Side note: he was the one that wanted daily texts, initiates weekly video calls as well as the trip. Till now he does occasionally react to my ig stories. And we aren’t exclusive. 

So I’m lost right now and I need some advices.

Edited May 28 by just_random

[cbm]

Here's what chatgpt says:

 

1. Mixed Signals & Changing Dynamics
It seems like the connection started strong, with consistent texting, calls, and even a planned trip—initiated largely by him. But after his medical issue, his engagement dropped significantly. That shift in behavior can be confusing, especially when it's not clearly communicated.

 

2. His Medical Condition and Avoidance
It’s possible his health issues are genuinely distressing, leading him to withdraw emotionally. People handle stress differently—some isolate, some seek comfort. However, if he’s well enough to socialize and use the G app, that signals he’s not completely withdrawing from everyone, just possibly from the OP.

 

3. The IG and G App Activity
This is understandably hurtful. It’s not wrong to want clarity or feel a disconnect between his words (“I need space”) and actions (social media activity). It doesn’t mean he’s lying, but it suggests that OP may not be his current priority, which is important to acknowledge without self-blame.

 

4. Emotional Investment & Imbalance
OP seems more emotionally invested than he is right now. That doesn't mean OP did anything wrong—attachment happens—but it’s important to protect your emotional well-being if someone is no longer showing the same care and commitment.

 

Advice for OP:

Don’t ignore your gut. The sense of being “overly attached” isn’t something to be ashamed of, but it’s a signal that you’re emotionally tied to someone who’s not meeting you where you are.

 

Have a gentle, honest check-in. When he’s back and you meet, talk openly: “I’ve been feeling unsure about where we stand, especially with how things have changed. I just want to understand where your head and heart are.”

 

Don’t wait in limbo. If his answers are vague or avoidant, take that as a cue to step back. You deserve clarity—not breadcrumb interactions or lingering hope.

 

Value your feelings. It’s not “just you.” Your longing for connection is real, and it’s okay to want more. But try not to chase someone who isn’t showing up for you consistently.
 

[doncoin]

Rather than sitting around and wait for him, just ask him directly and get clarity. There is no point moping around, especially with the trip. You still have time to ask a friend to join if things don't go the way you hoped. 

[tinkymale]

Just ask him be frank abiut what’s coming up between you two. Perhaps he just want a friendship and not a relationship. So don’t set expectations 

[wanton_mee]

Is all Your own expectation. how I felt from my own experience. 

[egal]

takes two to tnago

 

 

he seems no longer keen

[yhtang]

19 hours ago, just_random said:

It’s probably just me being too overly attached and one sided. So……

I’ve met this guy from the G app and at around February, and has been texting. After which, he had to fly overseas for work hence we continued texting daily and had weekly video calls. I must say the the texts isn’t as fresh as before that one thing to note. But we did had plans to travel later this year and had booked air tickets.

Few weeks later, he had developed some dermatology medical issues and that’s where it started dying down as he said that he needs time to be alone and had no mood to text or communicate much as he is having anxiety and troubling with his issue. So we hardly texted.

Afterwards, as we initially planned to fly separately to the country as he and I are in long distance, he gave a heads up to me that the trip might have to be cancelled as he might be flying back home earlier from his overseas work due to his condition and not end of the year. But he’ll try to stay there longer and make the trip happen as my flight can’t be cancelled or refunded.

Recently, he gave me an update that he would be flying back home for a short trip due his condition and texted me that “we meet and talk more as well as discuss about the trip.”

So for the past few weeks till now, I’ve noticed from time to time from he posts ig stories and spending time with his friends. And I also noticed occasionally he was active on the G app.

I understand that he needs time alone and also needs his friends around him. But is it just me or I do feel I’m overly attached to him with all this things going on. And he probably had lesser attachment as compared to me.

Side note: he was the one that wanted daily texts, initiates weekly video calls as well as the trip. Till now he does occasionally react to my ig stories.

So I’m lost right now and I need some advices.

 

I think the most annoying thing about relationships is the uncertainty factor.

 

You felt you had a relationship with him, and all seemed to be going well.  Suddenly, things do not seem to be what it was.  The reasons/excuses given can be anything, but the fact is that his subsequent actions and activities do not seem to collaborate his reasons/excuses for keeping his distance. 

 

I feel you have put in much effort into this relationship but it does not seem to have been reciprocated.  You now feel lost. 

 

But you feel lost because 

1)  you believed you had a relationship

2)  you expect the feelings to be reciprocated

3)  you find his activities incongruous with the reasons he gave to keep his distance from you

4)  you cannot accept that his investment in this relationship is not equal to your investment in this relationship.

 

In short, you cannot accept you have been dumped. 

 

I know it is easier said than done, but I think you deserve better, and it is time to let go.

 

I have been through similar, and in my case, it took a long time to forget.  But I could only start to forget when I learned to value myself more, and was willing to let go of (what I thought was a) relationship.  So it can be done, as many had before you did.  Try to let go and love yourself more. 

 

I hope all goes well for you. 

 

 

 

[wanton_mee]

1 hour ago, egal said:

takes two to tnago

 

 

he seems no longer keen

Machiam play squash ..but the wall is no longer there.. there goes the ball on the 😆runway. 

[egal]

squash u can play alone, lol

[wanton_mee]

1 minute ago, egal said:

squash u can play alone, lol

Need a wall but his wall has collapsed.

[egal]

if it was a wall, then he has not been very reactive at all, lol

[MasterFitMalaySG4U]

Obviously red flag haha why wait for someone childish? Not worth your time. 

 

That is why it is good to be direct if he is serious show it or prove it if not well play with your regulars haha 

 

Don't wait for someone who choose to let you hanging or drama or childish or insecure haha 

 

If u r that worthy he/she will do anything to maintain it haha 

[GachiMuchi]

On 5/27/2025 at 9:17 PM, just_random said:

It’s probably just me being too overly attached and one sided. So……

I’ve met this guy from the G app and at around February, and has been texting. After which, he had to fly overseas for work hence we continued texting daily and had weekly video calls. I must say the the texts isn’t as fresh as before that one thing to note. But we did had plans to travel later this year and had booked air tickets.

Few weeks later, he had developed some dermatology medical issues and that’s where it started dying down as he said that he needs time to be alone and had no mood to text or communicate much as he is having anxiety and troubling with his issue. So we hardly texted.

Afterwards, as we initially planned to fly separately to the country as he and I are in long distance, he gave a heads up to me that the trip might have to be cancelled as he might be flying back home earlier from his overseas work due to his condition and not end of the year. But he’ll try to stay there longer and make the trip happen as my flight can’t be cancelled or refunded.

Recently, he gave me an update that he would be flying back home for a short trip due his condition and texted me that “we meet and talk more as well as discuss about the trip.”

So for the past few weeks till now, I’ve noticed from time to time from he posts ig stories and spending time with his friends. And I also noticed occasionally he was active on the G app.

I understand that he needs time alone and also needs his friends around him. But is it just me or I do feel I’m overly attached to him with all this things going on. And he probably had lesser attachment as compared to me.

Side note: he was the one that wanted daily texts, initiates weekly video calls as well as the trip. Till now he does occasionally react to my ig stories. And we aren’t exclusive. 

So I’m lost right now and I need some advices.

 

If that person is a scammer, I am certain you will be scammed.

Also, I think that you should take it easy with him.

I won't be surprised that he might cancel the trip eventually due to some reason/s that crops up.

I thinik you can tell somewhat from what you had written and I am sorry to tell you that, it will happen just as you had thought.

I hope you can treat him just as causual friend and not someone that you want to considered as a partner. Then you won't feel so bad.

 

My 2 cents.

Edited May 30 by GachiMuchi