Samuel Lim Posted January 29 Posted January 29 (edited) Always have ppl asking me annoying qns on social media—like “What’s your job?” when they don’t even know me, or dropping unnecessary remarks like “K” or “Ok.” So here’s a consolidation thread: feel free to post your best sarcastic clapbacks so we can all reference how to roast dumb stuff around. Wrong answers only. Sarcasm mandatory. 🏆 🔥 Example Replies: Q: “What’s your job? (without even fucking knowing a shit about u)” *A: “I’m a full-time oxygen consumer. Benefits included.” *A: “CEO of Saying ‘K’.” *A: “Minister of Eye Rolls.” Reply: “K” (after comprehensive explanation to all the shit) *A: “Wow, Shakespeare called—he wants his brevity back.” *A: “Groundbreaking. Truly redefining communication.” Q: “Is that your dog?” (while you’re holding a leash) *A: “No, I just borrow random mammals for cardio.” Reply: “?” after a full explanation *A: “Ah yes, the ancient art of punctuation-as-conversation.” *A: “Your contribution has been noted by the Council of Confusion. Drop your best sarcastic job titles or clapbacks below—let’s build the ultimate roast library. Edited January 29 by Samuel Lim add on sum1outhere_03 1 Quote Curious? Brace for questionable decisions. Enter at your own risk 😂🖤 https://linktr.ee/gdboy6969
Samuel Lim Posted January 29 Author Posted January 29 Recently a random stranger decided to comment that I’ve “put on weight.” First off—who asked? Second—why do people think they get a say in anyone else’s body? Here’s my reply: Am I fucking interested in looking like famine incarnate? NOPE. HARD PASS. I’m not “just fine.” I’m not “just surviving.” I’m THRIVING. Quote Curious? Brace for questionable decisions. Enter at your own risk 😂🖤 https://linktr.ee/gdboy6969
Why? Posted January 29 Posted January 29 (edited) 4 hours ago, Samuel Lim said: Q: “Is that your dog?” (while you’re holding a leash) *A: “No, I just borrow random mammals for cardio.” I don't see anything weird asking the question above. When I see someone with a dog, I tend to ask the guy if the dog was his. Then he told me It was his brother's dog. Glad I did ask. If I reply the way you did, to someone's questions above, I will also appear immatured to the other party. If you sense something is amiss, it doesn't require much effort to keep quiet and move on. If you are still keen with the person in question, there are better way to answer his question:- “What’s your job? Answer: Before I answer your question, what about yours? Reply: “K” Reply: “?” Just wait for the follow-up from the other party. From there, he might want to go deeper with you. The signal is obvious if he doesn't say anything or logs off suddenly. Move on and stop arguing with him. You don't have to go down to his level with so much unnecessary drama. Edited January 29 by Why? cycle25 1 Quote
Samuel Lim Posted January 29 Author Posted January 29 2 hours ago, Why? said: I don't see anything weird asking the question above. When I see someone with a dog, I tend to ask the guy if the dog was his. Then he told me It was his brother's dog. Glad I did ask. If I reply the way you did, to someone's questions above, I will also appear immatured to the other party. If you sense something is amiss, it doesn't require much effort to keep quiet and move on. If you are still keen with the person in question, there are better way to answer his question:- “What’s your job? Answer: Before I answer your question, what about yours? Reply: “K” Reply: “?” Just wait for the follow-up from the other party. From there, he might want to go deeper with you. The signal is obvious if he doesn't say anything or logs off suddenly. Move on and stop arguing with him. You don't have to go down to his level with so much unnecessary drama. It's ur prerogative to respond that way—but all that contrived "wisdom" still reads like a manual for beige wallpaper. I’ll pass on the lecture notes, thx. I’m very sure some of us here prefer conversations with actual pulse— not some straight‑acting performances of “maturity.” Quote Curious? Brace for questionable decisions. Enter at your own risk 😂🖤 https://linktr.ee/gdboy6969
cbm Posted January 29 Posted January 29 @Samuel Lim Who's gotten your panties in a bunch, sista? Not everyone is the consummate conversationalist like you and I. Come and chat with me, your friendly, neighbourhood, bisexual pakcik. Tell me about your kinks and fetishes. hairyboycunt, bluerunner and Samuel Lim 1 2 Quote
Samuel Lim Posted January 29 Author Posted January 29 (edited) 16 minutes ago, cbm said: @Samuel Lim Who's gotten your panties in a bunch, sista? Not everyone is the consummate conversationalist like you and I. Come and chat with me, your friendly, neighbourhood, bisexual pakcik. Tell me about your kinks and fetishes. Ohhh, so you’re a fetish person? I heard “Sides” just opened a new spot—you should swing by, surprise yourself, and maybe discover you’ve been into artisanal chaos all along. As for me… my kinks are a mystery. I don’t even know if I have any. Unless eating like a conveyor belt and drinking like a malfunctioning soda fountain counts. In that case, I’m basically a machine with feelings. 🖤🥤🍔 Edited January 29 by Samuel Lim Quote Curious? Brace for questionable decisions. Enter at your own risk 😂🖤 https://linktr.ee/gdboy6969
cbm Posted January 29 Posted January 29 (edited) Yes they moved. It's a bigger space. Still in Orchard Road. Now it's called 5ides (letter s change to number 5). Got an invite to a closed door event there. Hehe. You may think you're malfunctioning, but perhaps what you need is someone to stroke you the right way. 😉 Jokes aside, receiving those type of messages is common. Even if you get annoyed with them, they cannot register why you're annoyed. It's unfathomable in their minds. So now I simply reflect back the same energy towards them. "Just buy bigger pants" Edited January 29 by cbm Quote
Mickey.Lois Posted January 30 Posted January 30 20 hours ago, Samuel Lim said: Recently a random stranger decided to comment that I’ve “put on weight.” First off—who asked? Second—why do people think they get a say in anyone else’s body? Here’s my reply: Am I fucking interested in looking like famine incarnate? NOPE. HARD PASS. I’m not “just fine.” I’m not “just surviving.” I’m THRIVING. I am sure the response will be different if the comment is worded as: Oh!! great body If you are putting up a photo, then expect people to comment. If you don't need comment, then don't put it to public. and don't expect to read praising comments all the time. Quote
radiusulnar Posted January 30 Posted January 30 This thread brightened my morning. 🙏 Samuel Lim 1 Quote
Mickey.Lois Posted January 30 Posted January 30 16 minutes ago, radiusulnar said: This thread brightened my morning. 🙏 bitching is the catalyst for brightening!!! Samuel Lim 1 Quote
Samuel Lim Posted January 30 Author Posted January 30 (edited) 2 hours ago, Mickey.Lois said: I am sure the response will be different if the comment is worded as: Oh!! great body If you are putting up a photo, then expect people to comment. If you don't need comment, then don't put it to public. and don't expect to read praising comments all the time. I comment not for clout But to counteract the cosmic cringe of unsolicited commentary and the endless spread of shitty negativities. And if karma had a loyalty program, I’d be platinum by now—racking up points for every CNY Karen vibe I vaporize, one snappy comment at a time. P.s. And yes, @Mickey.Lois you’re right: if someone says “Oh!! great body” the response would be different. Because here’s the thing—praise is free. Negativity is taxed. And I’m the collector Edited January 30 by Samuel Lim Quote Curious? Brace for questionable decisions. Enter at your own risk 😂🖤 https://linktr.ee/gdboy6969
Samuel Lim Posted January 30 Author Posted January 30 (edited) CNY Special... self-defense to: “Why no girlfriend? Why not married?” interrogations (feel free to add on): 1. The Husband Swap Special “Oh, you’re so concerned about my love life… wanna share your husband then? Equality, right?” 2. The Queer Upgrade “Girlfriend? Please. I’m holding out for a boyfriend who can cook, clean, and slay harder than me.” 3. The Rainbow Mic Drop “Not married yet, but thanks for asking—my RSVP is reserved for the Pride parade, not your registry.” **Unhinged ver: 1. The Family Upgrade "Oh you're worried about my love life? Cool, introduce me to your son—heard he's single and I like my men with daddy issues and a trust fund. 2. The Grindr Gospel "Girlfriend? Babe, my phone's hotter than your marriage—I've got 47 unread messages and zero alimony payments." 3. The Pet Replacement "Why no partner? My vibrator doesn't talk back, doesn't judge my life choices, and never asks why I'm still single at family dinner." 4.The Immediate THREATS ( my preferred style- always work) "If you ask one more time I'm adopting your dog and teaching it to hump your leg exclusively." P.S. Enjoy watching ur relatives short-circuit and pretend they're choking on fish bone Edited January 30 by Samuel Lim sum1outhere_03 1 Quote Curious? Brace for questionable decisions. Enter at your own risk 😂🖤 https://linktr.ee/gdboy6969
radiusulnar Posted January 30 Posted January 30 8 hours ago, cbm said: Someone please ask me what my job is (CNY music in background; relatives chatting) "Gong Xi Fa Cai! You must be cbm, second uncle's cousin-in-law. What's your job?" Quote
sum1outhere_03 Posted January 31 Posted January 31 (edited) On 1/29/2026 at 1:53 PM, Samuel Lim said: Always have ppl asking me annoying qns on social media—like “What’s your job?” when they don’t even know me, or dropping unnecessary remarks like “K” or “Ok.” So here’s a consolidation thread: feel free to post your best sarcastic clapbacks so we can all reference how to roast dumb stuff around. Wrong answers only. Sarcasm mandatory. 🏆 🔥 Example Replies: Q: “What’s your job? (without even fucking knowing a shit about u)” *A: “I’m a full-time oxygen consumer. Benefits included.” *A: “CEO of Saying ‘K’.” *A: “Minister of Eye Rolls.” Reply: “K” (after comprehensive explanation to all the shit) *A: “Wow, Shakespeare called—he wants his brevity back.” *A: “Groundbreaking. Truly redefining communication.” Q: “Is that your dog?” (while you’re holding a leash) *A: “No, I just borrow random mammals for cardio.” Reply: “?” after a full explanation *A: “Ah yes, the ancient art of punctuation-as-conversation.” *A: “Your contribution has been noted by the Council of Confusion. Drop your best sarcastic job titles or clapbacks below—let’s build the ultimate roast library. My answer for the job question: What's your job? (Referring to my office one, not massage) I get urgently chased and fucked left right centre all the time. At the same time I chase and fuck others too. Sometimes money is good but doesn't go into my bank unfortunately Everything is tight. 😂 I wished they were all my type so they can all top me Guess this role (no roasting for correct answers) Edited January 31 by sum1outhere_03 Quote Will you be my valentine's?
Samuel Lim Posted January 31 Author Posted January 31 30 minutes ago, sum1outhere_03 said: My answer for the job question: What's your job? (Referring to my office one, not massage) I get urgently chased and fucked left right centre all the time. At the same time I chase and fuck others too. Sometimes money is good but doesn't go into my bank unfortunately Everything is tight. 😂 I wished they were all my type so they can all top me Guess this role (no roasting for correct answers) R you Ah Long? Because that job description sounds like you’re chasing people, dodging karma, and collecting emotional debts with interest. sum1outhere_03 1 Quote Curious? Brace for questionable decisions. Enter at your own risk 😂🖤 https://linktr.ee/gdboy6969
cbm Posted January 31 Posted January 31 1 hour ago, radiusulnar said: (CNY music in background; relatives chatting) "Gong Xi Fa Cai! You must be cbm, second uncle's cousin-in-law. What's your job?" Whether it's CNY or Hari Raya, annoying relatives are the same. Even if you've told them before what you work as, they will still ask you again but they don't really understand what your job is. I will tell them like this: "I feel that I'm an engineer by virtue. It's my duty to fix malfunctioning machines. Working with machines everyday, I do realise that machines have feelings too. Sometimes you need to sayang them a bit so that they will run beautifully." sum1outhere_03 1 Quote
sum1outhere_03 Posted January 31 Posted January 31 (edited) 13 minutes ago, Samuel Lim said: R you Ah Long? Because that job description sounds like you’re chasing people, dodging karma, and collecting emotional debts with interest. Hahaha I like the description of your words 👍 Hmm. Not the actual ah long... Ah long is part of my job. U can try cgpt for answers (under the sub category under the line "The role that fits perfectly" (on the second line) Additionally, for me is sayang humans. sayang the "tops" mostly 😂 and we try not to smack people's ass below if we can Edited January 31 by sum1outhere_03 Samuel Lim 1 Quote Will you be my valentine's?
sum1outhere_03 Posted January 31 Posted January 31 (edited) 3 minutes ago, cbm said: Whether it's CNY or Hari Raya, annoying relatives are the same. Even if you've told them before what you work as, they will still ask you again but they don't really understand what your job is. I will tell them like this: "I feel that I'm an engineer by virtue. It's my duty to fix malfunctioning machines. Working with machines everyday, I do realise that machines have feelings too. Sometimes you need to sayang them a bit so that they will run beautifully." Virtual machines? Or physical ones? 😅 Edited January 31 by sum1outhere_03 Quote Will you be my valentine's?
PlayersGroup Posted January 31 Posted January 31 20 hours ago, Samuel Lim said: CNY Special... self-defense to: “Why no girlfriend? Why not married?” interrogations (feel free to add on): About 10 years back, at reunion dinner, I decided and replied: "你不知道我是同性恋mehh?" (you dunno I'm gay mehh?). Everybody paused and laughed. No one asked me me that since. Samuel Lim 1 Quote
cbm Posted January 31 Posted January 31 1 hour ago, sum1outhere_03 said: Virtual machines? Or physical ones? 😅 Both. Last time there were only physical machines. Nowadays, thanks to the Internet, there are virtual machines as well. With virtual machines, you now can do remote control(play), not unlike what we're doing right now. I still much prefer physical machines though. The tactile feedback is scintillating. For your case, when "everything is tight", it requires physical inspection. You simply cannot do this remotely. My professional advice as an engineer would be to use plenty of lubrication. There's nothing like a well oiled machine performing at optimum level. Quote
singalion Posted January 31 Posted January 31 I guess general friendliness would bring better results. The meant to be “sarcastic “ replies reveal more of the character than maybe wanted. in fact I see some personal unhappiness in replying in such manner. PS: no nasty reply required from TS, as my intention is more to help positively… Quote
Balestier Posted January 31 Posted January 31 2 hours ago, singalion said: I guess general friendliness would bring better results. The meant to be “sarcastic “ replies reveal more of the character than maybe wanted. in fact I see some personal unhappiness in replying in such manner. PS: no nasty reply required from TS, as my intention is more to help positively… Can be sarcastic online. What's yr job ? Admin. Why no gf ? So many divorce (said that to divorcee) Quote
passinthenight Posted February 1 Posted February 1 I usually reply with a "That's nice dear". * I find this response frustrates the living hell out of people. especially scammers that are trying to impress me at the start of the conversation. Quote
cbm Posted February 1 Posted February 1 4 hours ago, singalion said: I guess general friendliness would bring better results. The meant to be “sarcastic “ replies reveal more of the character than maybe wanted. in fact I see some personal unhappiness in replying in such manner. PS: no nasty reply required from TS, as my intention is more to help positively… TS is simply venting about getting low effort messages from people. It's not that he's actually replying to them sarcastically. He's using generative AI (you can tell from the use of long dashes) to come up with those snide remarks. I don't get the sense that he's sarcastic by nature. Besides, being friendly to low effort people would not change the outcome. The result will still be the same. Those interactions will die off. Meanwhile, it seems that I'm here conducting a masterclass on how to flirt with another man. The trick is not about being charming. It's about being disarming. Quote
Balestier Posted February 1 Posted February 1 53 minutes ago, passinthenight said: I usually reply with a "That's nice dear". * I find this response frustrates the living hell out of people. especially scammers that are trying to impress me at the start of the conversation. Received few messages from wine investors. Just replied i am early retiree . No money Quote
cbm Posted February 1 Posted February 1 10 minutes ago, Rebelution said: 🤣 THIS IS HILARIOUS 😂 Dannnn dodged a bullet there. Phew. Rebelution 1 Quote
sum1outhere_03 Posted February 1 Posted February 1 1 hour ago, Rebelution said: 🤣 THIS IS HILARIOUS 😂 Real world example that conversation not going anywhere😅 Rebelution 1 Quote Will you be my valentine's?
Why? Posted February 1 Posted February 1 Nowadays, I kept seeing guys with boobs. In future, I will shoot the first question: Your cup size, please? Quote
cbm Posted February 1 Posted February 1 1 hour ago, Why? said: Nowadays, I kept seeing guys with boobs. In future, I will shoot the first question: Your cup size, please? Hello, my eyes are up here. sum1outhere_03 1 Quote
singalion Posted February 6 Posted February 6 On 2/1/2026 at 3:31 PM, Rebelution said: 🤣 another one Large size T-shirts... 😆 Quote
singalion Posted February 6 Posted February 6 sarcastic or ironic replies don't work in this region, in particular in Singapore. People mostly don't get it and just block you on apps. Quote
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