Cheating Boyfriend / Lover + Why Cheat when In a Relationship? (Compiled)

[Guest Guest]

Just sharing a Facebook posting of mine made last month....

====

Thanks to NLB books fiasco, a client of mine engaged me in a lively debate over "alternative lifestyle (aka LGBT)" issue, thinking that I'm a married man…

I offered her another perspective and defended the alternative lifestyle pretty well, until she said: "They all lead promiscuous lifestyle, changing or having multiple partners all the time. There is no moral obligation among the alternative lifestyle".

This statement caught me dumbfounded, reality hit me hard at that moment, YES it is very true (though some of you guys may say it's the minority, I beg to defer that it is the majority instead).

That is exactly the typical cause of breakups or "complicated" status, and that reminded myself that I was a recent victim of such.

Probably this is why heterosexual look down or frown upon "alternative lifestyle", we have cheapen ourselves...

She ended with, "I am not against alternative lifestyle but don't mess with my family or push for greater space or acceptance in the society".

Is it the insatiable palate of AJs that leads to the non existence of moral obligation ?

#AJ #gay #NLB #LGBT #family #couple #values #married #acceptance #breakup #cheapen #complicated #itscomplicated #infidelity #promiscuous #alternativelifestyle #moralobligation

#insatiablepalate #pinkdot

She forgot to add that they love fucking young cute guys only , once they find you lo they will throw you aside , no matter how long

[Guest Guest]

She forgot to add that they love fucking young cute guys only , once they find you lo they will throw you aside , no matter how long

Once they find you are getting old , will dump you aside if they got younger ones , the reason why straights hate gays ...and the straight girls and guys are learning from them ! No lasting relationship or any tolerance !!

[Guest Guest]

some women think so big deal of themselves.

 

go see how married uncles cruising at swimming pool toilets.

[Guest Guest]

Once they find you are getting old , will dump you aside if they got younger ones , the reason why straights hate gays ...and the straight girls and guys are learning from them ! No lasting relationship or any tolerance !!

straight refers to gays or straight?

 

some women think so big deal of themselves.

 

go see how married uncles cruising at swimming pool toilets.

 

men will be men...

look at those sex sites

it is still thriving... 

[darrenpanfried]

If I was the guy who went sauna and my bf found out, I would come clean and explain why I did it.

[Guest Guest]

If I was the guy who went sauna and my bf found out, I would come clean and explain why I did it.

 

why then? maybe you can start practising now?

i mean start explaining now. 

[Guest Guest]

Talking about brother-in-law, how about this news:

TV Host, 52, killed by son-in-law who is his lover ! It's complicated.

http://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2014/aug/31/us-talkshow-host-scott-rogers-shot-dead

http://youtu.be/zm7gFpIY1kA

[aycee]

yes.

so ch8

More like Taiwanese soap opera

[AidenKingston]

If that happened, first of all, I'll feel hurt. Then I won't feel angry cause I'll just feel disappointed. Like why did he lied to me? Why doesn't he trust me and tell me the truth? I might open an eye and close the other. Because I think that if you want to be my boyfriend means to grow old with me, not screwing around with others in spa or other place and that is just cheating on me. If he dare to do the first time, he will do the second time.

[Guest Guest]

Once they find you are getting old , will dump you aside if they got younger ones , the reason why straights hate gays ...and the straight girls and guys are learning from them ! No lasting relationship or any tolerance !!

Oh what utterly absolute stulid sounding rubbish!

[Guest Guest]

Oh what utterly absolute *stupid sounding rubbish!

Typo corrected.

[Guest boys-pleasure]

Ah that's horrible... I'm sorry to know that....

Try to talk to him. If he's still lying, the only thing is to break up with him. Save yourself from more lying and cheating, and the pain that comes with it. Good luck!

This is why I'm still single haha

[Guest Guest]

Caught him red handed also mean you were there for fun. Both are catching each other red handed. No need to explain further.

[Guest guest]

If you homo drama queens insist on trying to copy straights then become religious and travel somewhere where you can take vows to be exclusively faithful, to promise all kinds of things, get legally married, some even adopt kids. Then divorce when the itch takes over. Would be wise to have a pre-nup.

 

The rest of us will chase every piece of cute @$$, work out our own style relationships and not whine.

[ohlala]

"To each his own". 

[Guest Guest]

Caught him red handed also mean you were there for fun. Both are catching each other red handed. No need to explain further.

 

There is something wrong with your brains,  ' Caught him red handed also mean you were there for fun' 

 

How can he catch him red handed if he wasn't in the sauna, how did  you know that he did not go in to catch bf after seeing suspicious behaviour in the home, you mean wives who bring hen friends to catch husband in Geylang with prostitute , the wife fully clothed not with a man also have committed the same deed as the horny husband ah.

 

Please if you want to justify philandering behaviour use a better argument. Sounds like bad fart

[Guest Kosovo]

If the bf quietly mastubating himself in front of webcam, does it consider cheating?

http://38.media.tumblr.com/3be8949fccad983a35ced6e6bde683f6/tumblr_n7ticqLKsj1tektiao1_400.gif

[Guest Caught BF ? Then how ?]

There is something wrong with your brains,  ' Caught him red handed also mean you were there for fun' 

 

How can he catch him red handed if he wasn't in the sauna, how did  you know that he did not go in to catch bf after seeing suspicious behaviour in the home, you mean wives who bring hen friends to catch husband in Geylang with prostitute , the wife fully clothed not with a man also have committed the same deed as the horny husband ah.

 

Please if you want to justify philandering behaviour use a better argument. Sounds like bad fart

 

 

I have never been to Cruise Club, but my friends did mention my BF was there before. Should I join the catching game ?  What should one do if caught ?

[Guest Teacher]

I have never been to Cruise Club, but my friends did mention my BF was there before. Should I join the catching game ? What should one do if caught ?

Make him kneel down to apologize outside Cruise Club. Slap him hard on face until he scared.

Educational video for your training use

http://youtu.be/ILiI--_5B2o

[Guest GYMMER]

Make him kneel down to apologize outside Cruise Club. Slap him hard on face until he scared.

Educational video for your training use

http://youtu.be/ILiI--_5B2o

 Really must do this meh ?

[Guest CHEATING BFs]

  This thread should be

"Cheating BF's and How not to get discovered."

[Guest Guest]

REal life catch mistress at husband 's work place , daughter caught everything on headphone , poor wife wants to rip the face off mistress, husband stops her, PRC mother had to support daughter studying in NTU , everything exposed on youtube. unfortunately for gay bf=bf, no recognised status so cannot paly the wronged wife, and kick up a big fight.

Lan lan adultery in Singapore is not a crime chargable unlike Taiwan , Korea. China.

 

 

Do you dare kick up a fuss in gay sauna after catching bf redhanded, police come arrest you first for disturbing the peace.

PRC woman easy to tempt older married men , if wife looks like that.

 

 

[Guest Guest]

REal life catch mistress at husband 's work place , daughter caught everything on headphone , poor wife wants to rip the face off mistress, husband stops her, PRC mother had to support daughter studying in NTU , everything exposed on youtube. unfortunately for gay bf=bf, no recognised status so cannot paly the wronged wife, and kick up a big fight.

Lan lan adultery in Singapore is not a crime chargable unlike Taiwan , Korea. China.

Do you dare kick up a fuss in gay sauna after catching bf redhanded, police come arrest you first for disturbing the peace.

PRC woman easy to tempt older married men , if wife looks like that.

The China mistress looks worst than an average Sg woman.

[gummibear]

The China mistress looks worst than an average Sg woman.

Feel so sad for the wife. Can hear how hurt she is.

[Guest Pri]

Any more stories of cheating and betrayal? Would like to hear stories from the cheater's perspective. Why you cheat?

[Guest Guest]

Saw it in Cruise club.  One guy was raising his voice while the other guy was sobbing.  Later, the sobbing guy hugged his BF and mumble ....I m sorry.....don't leave me.   At one point,  he almost wanted to kneel down.

[Guest Colin]

Will you cheat when your bf if the opportunity is there, say in the gym changing room, at the public toilet urinal, ???

[Friendly]

I would like to say no one is perfect and LOVE stands for

 

L - Lots

O - Of

V - Voluntary

E - Efforts

[Guest Guest]

I don't think anything could be worst than what happened to me and my boyfriend a few years ago at a gay sauna in HK. Unbeknown to both of us, we lied to each other we were going back to our respective hometown when we both went to HK to have fun and we bumped into each other at the same sauna! I think it was fate.....we both cheated on each other at the same time. Imagine the surprise on our faces when he walked out of a room with another guy and I was standing at the corridor waiting for my prey......I was the first one to react and threw a punch at his face. He retaliated by shouting some vulgar words at me for pretending to be a saint! We then went our separate way.

When we met in Singapore, we both didn't want to be the first to say sorry.....a few days later he moved out of my apartment and my life.

[Paladze]

Hello,

I want to share my story with you. I have a boyfriend and I love him so much. He is my first experience, so kind and sexy. Our story was as a fairytale at first. After 6 months of dating we moved in. We have lived together for 2 years, but recently he behaves oddly. He always walks with his phone and he nitpicks with me. I’m afraid that he is cheating on me but I can’t check him. What can you advise me? Please help me, I really don't know what to do!!!!! 

[mate69]

How old are you, TS?

 

The reason I am asking is I believe the way/method that is best for one person depends at least to a certain extent on his age.

[yhtang]

And if you do catch him, Paladze, what will you do?  Will you leave him?  Take him back? 

 

Will you trust him ever again?  If there is no trust, is there any meaning to the relationship?

 

I don't mean to be rude, but all these have to be considered before taking further action. 

 

If he was not cheating on you, and you get found out you were checking on him, how is he likely to react?

 

If he decides to dump you, where would you go?  What would you do? 

 

Sadly, that is the reality of the situation.

[iamziz]

Lack of communication is one of the main destructions to a relationship. When that happens, assumptions make friends with you. And we know it too well assumptions can be disastrous.

Either you and him start talking or you can continue to play police and thief leading to more emotional pain, and if not careful a depression.

Die die both must talk and clear air. Else, go separate ways to a happy single life.

[Paladze]

Thanks for replies! I understand you well. And my head says me your words. I just don't want to lose him and I believe we can be happy again. But I'm not sure at 100% that he is a cheater. If he has cheated on me then I will leave him. But If there is a chance to make him love me again, I want to use it. That's why I want to check him.

[Marineboy]

Tail him tactically or pay for the service..private eye

[fab]

R u ready to break up?

If he loves u, he wont cheat u.

If he cheat u, he doesnt love u.

[snowball]

you are afraid ... so you are just guessing, are you feeling insecure? have you open out and discuse with him yet?

if he has changed, you can't do anything, he might just break off with you if he found out that you are checking him,

well, so best is talk with him and let him know how you are feeling within, the rest is up to him.

[Guest Guest]

Everything is not so black and white. Just because he cheats does not mean he no longer loves you, not to condone cheating. Men are built to be polygamous. Why don't you first ask yourself if you are prepared to accept polyamory, then point blank ask if he is cheating and to be honest that it is either not acceptable to you or that you will be prepared to close one eye.

[Guest Guest]

Everything is not so black and white. Just because he cheats does not mean he no longer loves you, not to condone cheating. Men are built to be polygamous. Why don't you first ask yourself if you are prepared to accept polyamory, then point blank ask if he is cheating and to be honest that it is either not acceptable to you or that you will be prepared to close one eye.

duh . This is selfish act

[Guest Limkopi]

Everything is not so black and white. Just because he cheats does not mean he no longer loves you, not to condone cheating. Men are built to be polygamous. Why don't you first ask yourself if you are prepared to accept polyamory, then point blank ask if he is cheating and to be honest that it is either not acceptable to you or that you will be prepared to close one eye.

You are not fit for a relationship.

You are worst than a dog.

Love is painful if you don't trust your bf and suspicious about him. Try to solve your problem asap.....keep it in the heart will explore one day...

[Guest Ener]

Use a tranquilizer blow gun or something, brg along a huge net to restrict the catch from struggling if the tranquilizer effects wears off.

[Paladze]

We all understand that men are polygamous and there is no difference if he is a gay or straight. But it does not mean that it is normal when your bf cheats on you. It is very painfull to know that somebody betrays you. My friend advised me to install a spying app on his phone. He said there are many spying apps which are absolutelly stealthy. I know it is not right to spy on him. But this is the only way for me to be calm. Do you know an effective spying app?

[iamziz]

And if you do catch him, Paladze, what will you do?  Will you leave him?  Take him back? 

 

Will you trust him ever again?  If there is no trust, is there any meaning to the relationship?

 

I don't mean to be rude, but all these have to be considered before taking further action. 

 

If he was not cheating on you, and you get found out you were checking on him, how is he likely to react?

 

If he decides to dump you, where would you go?  What would you do? 

 

Sadly, that is the reality of the situation.

 

Spy app? Seriously?

 

How would you answer the above questions then as mentioned by yhtang? If both can't sit down and talk or one isn't talking while the other tries to talk, get a 3rd person both of you trust you could confide to. After living together for 2 years, there must be someone you could talk to to help. Someone not biased. Have a serious thought about this spy app thingy. I see danger. Once again, you both need to talk.

Edited June 5, 2015 by iamziz

[Guest Snowball]

If you don't trust your bf, what is the point of being together? If he is cheating behind you again and again, is he consider a bf still?

[Guest Guest]

We all understand that men are polygamous and there is no difference if he is a gay or straight. But it does not mean that it is normal when your bf cheats on you. It is very painfull to know that somebody betrays you. My friend advised me to install a spying app on his phone. He said there are many spying apps which are absolutelly stealthy. I know it is not right to spy on him. But this is the only way for me to be calm. Do you know an effective spying app?

Oh..i smell something fishy here.

[KnightParis]

Everything is not so black and white. Just because he cheats does not mean he no longer loves you, not to condone cheating. Men are built to be polygamous. Why don't you first ask yourself if you are prepared to accept polyamory, then point blank ask if he is cheating and to be honest that it is either not acceptable to you or that you will be prepared to close one eye.

 

He has a point.

This is the mature way of handling the situation should the situation arrive.

It is a fact that we humans are born to be polygamous. Serial monogamy is polygamy too by the way. 

[Guest Guest]

Tail him tactically or pay for the service..private eye

 

 

Private eye are licenced to tail only legitimate cases only , for example a boss suspect theft or corporate theft in company, must provide proof of ownership of company,

 

Private investigators also take on adultery cases where both [parties are married to each other and one party suspects adultery and third party, I think they also want to see marriage cert or proof of marriage,

 

it is to protect themselves, from jealous third party, who may only be a mistress and not married to the guy, only legitimate cases will be pursued by Private Investigators  .

 

They do not trace for loose relationship like gays and gays , where there is legal definition or lesbiana nd lesbian, what happened if the discovered party goes to PI office and raise a ruckus, only adultery cases are legally challengeable,

 

gay relationship do not have alimony to pay and no legal status. Hhahhahahahahahah................

[IkuTube]

Lets get back to basic.  Why is this cheating happening?  It is often said that cheating happens because the relationship is no longer nurturing.

 

To proceed with an eye for an eye will not benefit the couple.  While it is true that cheating is disrespectful towards TS but, if it is taken on a positive sign, it is about realizing there's something wrong.  It is about sitting down all over again.  Having lived together for 2 years and when there is not much communication - and, I really mean heart to heart understanding - can create a situation where couples easily take each other for granted.

 

I must say yhtang posted very good questions:

 

And if you do catch him, Paladze, what will you do?  Will you leave him?  Take him back? 

 

Will you trust him ever again?  If there is no trust, is there any meaning to the relationship?

 

I don't mean to be rude, but all these have to be considered before taking further action. 

 

If he was not cheating on you, and you get found out you were checking on him, how is he likely to react?

 

If he decides to dump you, where would you go?  What would you do? 

 

 

I always believe there is a solution to every problem.  The difference is in the individual.  On a grandeur scale, people who find solutions to problems are those who firmly believe that solutions exist for every problem.  Problem is there for one's understanding, one's acceptance and for one's growth.

[snowball]

什么都要查根问底，却又受不了真相的刺激，何必? 何苦?

[Paladze]

I know it is not right to spy on him. But this is the only way for me to get the truth.

Some days ago my friend advised me to use spytomobile app and I installed it on my bf's phone. It is really stealthy and works good. Now I can read his messages, see his calls and see his location on google maps.

I have found out that my boyfriend's collegue writes romantic messages to him . Yesterday night he visited his collegues's house and he had been there for 30 minutes. I don't know what to think. When he came home I asked why he was so late and he answered he was at work. He lied to me. I didn't tell him that I knew where he was. I decided to wait sometime untill I would get real facts.

Edited June 9, 2015 by Paladze