Committment Ceremony

[Guest Ang Mo]

I need some information on whether anyone knows someone who will conduct an committment ceremony.I am an Ang Mo who lives and works here for the past 18months and I met the man who I want to exchange committment vows with.

[oralb]

dear

welcome to singapore where any homosexuality acts are illegal.

so no cermony will be legally binding and recongnized. hence you can do whatever ceremony you prefer as this will be more spiritual.

[worldangel]

You are right legally…….. any way, some times in March this year, the Newpaper reported a local gay couple tied commitment knot …. :thumb:

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The Electric New Paper :

THEY'RE HAVING A 'UNION PARTY' 70 close friends, family members invited

THEY want to tell the world about their commitment to a same-sex relationship.

13 March 2006

THEY want to tell the world about their commitment to a same-sex relationship.

It's a daring move in Singapore, where such unconventional unions are kept out of public view.

On 3 May, hairstylist Aaron Lim, 33, and Thai makeup artist Khomkrit Chaiwichit, 27, will tie a commitment knot at a 'union party' in front of more than 70 close friends and family members.

It's not an impulsive move, say the couple who met five years ago.

While other gay couples here have held such ceremonies discreetly, Mr Lim stands out for being so open about it.

'Sure, you can publish my name and my picture. I don't see anything wrong with that,' Mr Lim told The New Paper on Sunday.

Is this the Brokeback Mountain effect? The acclaimed Ang Lee movie about a gay couple made waves at the recent Academy Awards.

KUCHING UNION

There was also the much-publicised union between a man and a transsexual in Kuching last November. Though not recognised by the Malaysian government, the couple staged their ceremony as a conventional bride-and-groom affair, with 850 guests.

This was, of course, different in many ways, but did it influence Mr Lim and Mr Khomkrit?

Mr Lim acknowledged that gay relationships are not widely accepted here. He said: 'I know this will not be legally recognised here, but I'm only doing it for myself, so it doesn't matter what other people think.'

He met Mr Khomkrit, who is known as Timmy, at a gay disco in Bangkok.

This is Mr Lim's first gay relationship as he had dated women previously.

'I just want to be happy, and for my close friends and family to share in my happiness,' said Mr Lim.

If the ceremony is not legally recognised, why go through it?

'Personally, it's because I want to make a commitment to Tim. I want to show him that I'm proud to be his partner and that my love is sincere.

'Also, it is out of respect for my friends and family members. In a way, I want to express my appreciation for their support all these years,' said Mr Lim.

Among the guests will be local entertainment personalities.

Mr Lim added it took about three years and three proposals from Timmy before he finally nodded his head.

'Tim's grandmother first mentioned a (commitment ceremony) two years after we started seeing each other, but I just left it as a hint and didn't do anything about it.

'Then, Tim asked me a few times, when we were together having a meal or something,' Mr Lim recalled.

He was hesistant to say yes then because he had felt he wasn't ready.

'But the third time he asked, sometime last year, I said yes.'

Mr Khomkrit said in a phone interview from Bangkok: 'We want to show that we are serious about each other and not just playing around. Aaron takes care of me and I want to be with him for the rest of my life.'

As for the ceremony being not legally binding, Mr Lim says it doesn't bother him at all.

Should one of them die before the other, 'we have agreed to give a certain percentage of our assets to the other person, and the rest will go to charity'.

DRAWN UP WILLS

He added: 'We have talked about this, and have drawn up wills for this purpose.'

In legal marriages, all the assets of someone dying without a will go to his or her spouse and children.

As for a possible break-up later, Mr Lim said: 'Nobody thinks of that, and I'm confident this will work out. I know I'm willing to work at it and that Tim is the one I want to grow old with.

'Basically, those legal things that we can work around, we'll do that. For those that we have no control over like our fate in the future, we will just handle it when and if it comes.'

Mr Lim has planned two celebrations - one in Singapore and another in Bangkok next year.

In countries where same-sex unions are legally recognised, often as civil partnerships, the ceremony is likely to include signing documents in front of witnesses. (See other report.)

For Mr Lim's event at a seaside bungalow in the east, he revealed: 'I'm going to have a buffet spread for over 70 people. There will be some entertainment, some of my celebrity friends will also perform.'

Quite unlike the gay Taiwanese-American character in Ang Lee's other gay movie, The Wedding Banquet, who tries to hide his sexual preference from his parents by going through a sham marriage with a female immigrant, Mr Lim is not shy about his relationship.

His friends and family are supportive, he said.

His elder sister, Madam Lim Chau Yong, a 51-year-old catering assistant, said in Mandarin: 'Initially when they first got together, I thought it was strange. It's not conventional.

'But after a while, I could see my brother is happy. And as long as he's happy, it's enough for me. That's the most important thing.'

About the marriage, she added: 'I know this is not the norm in society. But you see, even in a normal marriage between a man and a woman, there's no guarantee of happiness.'

Said MediaCorp artiste Constance Song, one of Mr Lim's close friends: 'It shows they really love each other.

'It's even more difficult for a gay couple to get married than it is for a heterosexual couple. Not only are there finances and the planning of the night to worry about, there's also people's expectations (to manage).'

http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/printfriendly...,103376,00.html

[Guest bearbear]

well,

my partner & i have been together 11 years by the time oct 10 comes along. we had a "wedding" attanded by our family members and frens. we called it our wedding but i guess its more of a committment ceremony as a same sex marriage in singapore is not binding.

we wrote our own vows, had a cake, my 3 cousins made a band and played music, rings,matching black outfits, kisses, food, red packets and a long night of sex.........hehehe.

Being gay in singapore is NOT illegal but gay sex is............but come on, as long as it done behind closed doors non is the wiser.

Im all for "committment ceremonies but please dun make it a fashion trend, as sometimes we gay people can go over board with stuff like these. my partner & i had ours 5years ago, 6 years after we started "dating". i know someone that had a committment ceremony a month after meeting this guy and barely 3 months later they broke up and are in debt as they sign everything for their wedding by VISA.

so, thats my point of view, im not saying im right nor am i saying anyone else is right or they should do this or that but i hope letting people know that others have had committment ceremonies before maybe it will help them see what they want to do.

my only advise is...........be sure of what you want, who you both are and whats the reasons behind wanting one.

cheers

[Guest Guest]

bearbear, congratulations on your "wedding" ceremony. maybe u can share with us your secret to a lifelong partnership? i think many of us are struggling and your secret might help many of us here...

congratulations again...