I Feel so Lonely; am I the only gay person who feels Lonely / Sad / Miserable / Less Attractive? (Compiled)

[Guest LonelyPerson]

Why i need to grow up? Whats wrong of wanting a boyfriend and fantasies about hot guys? Please explain. thank you!

[Guest Guest]

Those that want you to grow up is because they want to attract your attention , size you up , and if possible go to bed with you.  They are the rejected lot.

[EasleyLim]

How old are you? You sound like a teenager.

[chargingbull]

Hi, I am very lonely. I don't have gay friends and I really don't know how to handle this. I cannot resist any further, if I look at hot guys on the street I will get extremely turned on. I think I am a really a SLUT. Any hot guys I look at I get turned on and dream of f**king them, but of them are straight. Haix... I am so jealous of girls!!! I am 19 and I need a handsome boyfriend!!!

you have a very low self-esteem.

 

probably you lack parental love, and or your mother is not loving enough or too fierce and controlling in your life that sets you negative to female role model and therefore you long for that father figure.

 

you need to break away from this low self esteem or it will take over your life in negative.

 

try taking part in team sports.... basketball or football.

 

remember... you are not a female!!

[The.Intrv.]

 

 

If carnal desire is the only thing you wish to sate, the doors to the saunas are always open.

Edited October 14, 2013 by The.Intrv.

[Blacque]

Hi, I am very lonely. I don't have gay friends and I really don't know how to handle this. I cannot resist any further, if I look at hot guys on the street I will get extremely turned on. I think I am a really a SLUT. Any hot guys I look at I get turned on and dream of f**king them, but of them are straight. Haix... I am so jealous of girls!!! I am 19 and I need a handsome boyfriend!!!

 

 

Why i need to grow up? Whats wrong of wanting a boyfriend and fantasies about hot guys? Please explain. thank you!

 

Wanting a hot boyfriend isn't wrong. 

 

Well if you think you're always very horny, then have sex constantly. If you can't resist the temptation, succumb to it. Maybe you'll learn something from it.

[EasleyLim]

you have a very low self-esteem.

 

probably you lack parental love, and or your mother is not loving enough or too fierce and controlling in your life that sets you negative to female role model and therefore you long for that father figure.

 

you need to break away from this low self esteem or it will take over your life in negative.

 

try taking part in team sports.... basketball or football.

 

remember... you are not a female!!

 

Lol, low self-esteem have nothing to do with feeling like a woman. What kind of logic is that?

[acem69]

I really need love from man...please be loyal n accept me as me...

Im really lonely I need man can take care of my heart...love hug♥♥♥

[lonely57]

haha. i feel very very lonely in camp. i feel like the odd one out. theres like 2 distinct groups. the "delinquents" and the "dota clan". I belong to neither. its just me and myself. hard to join them though no matter how i tried =/

[snowball]

我认为童话故事固然很美, 但现实却很实在很残酷。

人有追求幸福的权利, 但也应该衡量自己的条件而作出衡量,

若幻想超载, 苦的是自己。

每个人都希望奇迹的发生, 但机率真的是不多。

一句话, 量力而行。

[Lin_vola]

How true. Lonely sad and miserable.

Edited October 15, 2013 by Lin_vola

[Guest stardustsxz]

Greetings BW-ers,

I have been thinking a lot lately and felt that I needed an avenue to pen down my thoughts so here goes.

 

I am 20 this year and yes I know I am young and still inexperienced in life. There is still so much more for me to learn and experience. I guess that is the reason why many people in this circle keeps telling me "you are still young." Not that i disagree with this notion but why do I feel as if being young is a crime. When i approach guys to chat, i get rejected for being young. When I question people about relationship issues, they tell me not to be in a rush to be in a relationship cause I am still young. I get it, I am young but being young also entails me to be very curious about a lot of things. When i ask a lot, people tell me i start to become annoying. So, tell me who can I turn to. I am still discreet and it's impossible to approach my family, who happens to be very conservative. I just feel really tired being pushed aside just cause I am young. & it does not help that it can really depressing and lonely when you have no one to turn to in this circle. I probably have come to a point where I get so afraid to socialise cause it's hard to find true friends these days. Everyone just comes and go and I can't help but feel used by many "friends". 

 

To sum it up, I have never felt any more lonely than before in this circle and it gets to me a lot. Am i the only one feeling this way then?

[Exynos]

I feel this way all the time. Relax dude it really feels more like a phase. We're young so there's a need for validation; of our existence, of our worth... of course we all know that we are the best validation for ourselves but I think that's something that needs a lot of time to sink in.

 

What's more, looking around and seeing your peers falling in and out of love. How can it be that we're all young yet we're the only ones who're alone? I know how that feels, and we all know that such transient "love" doesn't mean much in the end but what pain is worth more, than a broken heart?

 

No one is wrong when they said we are young. Indeed, at this age (20, 21, 22, etc) it is the era to experiment. Sex, life, love, friendship, etc... there's no better time to screw up, knock your head, fall down AND get up than now. It's painful to learn that it's retarded to "settle down" this early, because there's so many things out there we don't know of at this age but it's true - the older we get the more we know. And with knowledge and good foundation comes a strong relationship (IMO at least).

 

"Don't tell me our youth is running out; it has only just begun."

[GachiMuchi]

stardustsxz do try to learn from people like Exynos.

 

Your kind of thinking is typical young guy's thinking; the "Me, Myself & I " effect. e.g. I want this, I need that, give me this & that, am I etc.

The need for validation,

The need to be love,

The prove of your existence, etc. just to name a few.

 

When you are rejected, you question your worthiness, your ego bruised, you are hurt, etc. but had you asked yourself, what you could you have done to improve yourself? Instead of feeling dejected and defeated, you should pick yourself up and try again and if there are areas which need improvement, do something about it. No one owes you living and if you think everything should be like a fairy tale, it's time to wake up and face reality. This is what your parents and every one else have to go through, regardless whether you are str8, gay, bi or whatever.

 

While Exynos had externalised himself and he basically got the jis of what he needs to do; which is to experience life, make mistakes, picks oneself up and try again and with every mistake, grow stronger and more experience.

 

On a personal note : Please don't expect to be 'spoon fed'. Stop whining and Grow up. (in a nice tone)

[sanxian1990]

Sounds like you've got too much free time to think about such questions.

Go engage in the sport you have always wanted to do, learn a new form of art, take up music lessons. Fill up your schedule with things that makes the endorphins and adrenaline pumping. Till then, you will be so looking forward he next day that you have no excess energy to entertain those silly thoughts.

That's how I got through that phase.

[Angelix]

I'm young but it doesn't stop me from building friendship and relationship. I think we are at the advantage here because we are afford to experiment with our youth in order to shape our belief, thinking and interests through the process. All of us made mistakes but I don't cry myself over the spilled milk, instead I move and learn not to repeat it.

 

Go out and experiment but be safe. 

[kingbitch]

My opinions/responses as a thirty year-old:

 

"When i approach guys to chat, i get rejected for being young."

- Some of us, like me personally, do not like younger guys - simply because we don't like younger guys. They do not turn us on, even on a platonic level. Perhaps we prefer guys who tend to be more mature, or who have seen and done more things in life. Younger guys tend to be slimmer and leaner - physical qualities that I do not prefer. So what's this got to do with 'to chat', you ask? How many people are online just "to chat"? The majority of sensible human beings would not be online just "to chat" with strangers when they have their own group of real-life friends and family. Of course, there are always a handful of guys who really wish to chat simply for fun / spend away time / make new contacts. You would probably encounter these guys eventually.

 

"When I question people about relationship issues, they tell me not to be in a rush to be in a relationship cause I am still young."

- I'm with you. This response is bullshit. No one is "too young" to experience a relationship.

 

 

"When i ask a lot, people tell me i start to become annoying."

- Yes it's annoying if a complete stranger on the internet, or someone I barely met, impales me with a hundred questions. Since I'm not a close friend, I don't feel motivated to expend so much effort in helping this relative stranger in his quest for self-discovery - unless I have something to gain, like getting into his pants.

 

"So, tell me who can I turn to. I am still discreet and it's impossible to approach my family, who happens to be very conservative."

- Keep befriending new friends, with the expectation that most (95%?) of these friendships would be short-lived. Occasionally you might meet friends you could start hanging out with - for company. It takes time and luck to meet a special person that you can genuinely click with as a good meaningful friend.

[HydroNaut]

Over the years, I just find that PRO-ACTIVENESS is the way to maintain and sustain a relationship or friendship.

Most time or rather, I find that in the busy and hectic context of Singapore.....no one had any spare time for anyone and that maybe a possible cause of lack of social correspondences most of the time.

 

I guess to begin with anything, you have to try bringing yourself on the tabs of your phone or keyboard. A simple "Hello","Hi", "Had Lunch" etc... might just do the trick of getting a certain responsiveness from whoever you wanna connect to. As the saying goes, "In this world, there is no ugly people but only if you are lazy people".

 

Of course all said, you need to have that extra X-factor to carry through to the next phrase.

[Huckleberry]

Sometimes, I feel so alone I just wish someone would just hold me and make me feel loved.

 

Isn't it sad ?

 

This happen often.

 

And always...there is nobody...

Edited July 6, 2014 by Huckleberry

[journey]

Learn to be independent. Learn to embrace own self. A lifeskill.

[Marineboy]

Will you accept my frenly hug? Its free n hope you might feel at least a little more loved from a stranger

 

Take care n hope you will find more love around you.

[thatstr8chnguy]

Sometimes, I feel so alone I just wish someone would just hold me and make me feel loved.

 

Isn't it sad ?

 

This happen often.

 

And always...there is nobody...

 

bro hug!!

[iamziz]

If only we have a ''Hug Committee'' in different parts of Singapore where someone in need of a human touch can go to someone in the ''Hug Committee'' to get a hug or just cry with no questions asked. This can help the person feels better.

 

Hope you will have someone you can call a friend to offer you that hug you long for, TS.

 

Hugs

[MikeD]

U are not alone ((

[snowball]

俗话说得好，有相同的病的人要相互怜悯，有相同的忧患的人要相互救助 ，

那不如彼此互相交流认识 。

Edited July 6, 2014 by snowball

[grey_line]

I know how you feel...has always been independent and embracing my own self...but recently really felt the pressure of loneliness

That moment you just need someone to depend on, to feel loved and worth something...

You are not alone hugz

[newlife82]

Sometimes, I feel so alone I just wish someone would just hold me and make me feel loved.

 

Isn't it sad ?

 

This happen often.

 

And always...there is nobody...

 

U r not the only one.

It's just part of our life.

Cheers up.

[GachiMuchi]

Sometimes, I feel so alone I just wish someone would just hold me and make me feel loved.

 

Isn't it sad ?

 

This happen often.

 

And always...there is nobody...

 

First : Change your profile.

 

http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showuser=8653

 

You: I am basically a nerd and am secretly proud of it [i have a Brain!]

Reply : Does it means that you like to stay home and do nerdy tech and intellectual stuff?

You: I would love to talk to people that share similar intellectual and work out interest as me.

Reply : what if you can't find people who share the same interest as you? does that means you stay single? Also, you do know that not everyone could be like you to match your nerdy interest

You : Please understand that unless you have made an effort to talk to me or get to know me, do not expect me to just except your friend request because I don't know you.

Reply : this seems to be the crux of your problem. I think people did make an effort to get to know you, but you blow them off with the above message. So Do you want or don't wants people to know you and make friend with you?

 

Second : Change your Signature.

 

You : DO NOT ADD ME AS A FRIEND IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

You : I WILL NOT ACCEPT.

You : AT LEAST HAVE THE COURTESY TO DROP ME A MESSAGE AND START TALKING FIRST.

Reply : No wonder you are alone and not loved.  HELLO! You put yourself there.

 

Third : Change your profile pic

Reply : Like it or not, the above pic is screaming for unwanted attention from anyone who might lust after your body. So what do you want? you want people to take you seriously and engage in intellectual discussion with you or you want people to lust after you.  Please make up your mind, OK.

 

Suggestion :

1. Rephrase your profile & Signature so that you appear more friendly.

2. State what you are looking for and please don't be so vague.

3. Change your profile pic if you don't want unnecessary attention from people who only lust after you body.

 

Since you state you are an intellectual person with a brain. Please put it to good use. I am sure you will know what I am trying to put across to you.

 

My 2 cents.

[Guest Dongle]

When you are too focus on getting something, you will feel very down if you don't get it.

 

Please understand, there are sequence of steps before you get the person you like. 

 

First, get to know more people.  Don't be judgemental.  Just enjoy knowing people as they are, not people the way you want them to be.

 

Liberate your mind.  Be open.

 

After know xxxx number of people, then it before your fate if you find the one you like and the one who like you.

 

 

[navyblue]

Yes, i clicked on his profile, saw the enlarged profile pic, read the first statement about him being a nerd, and i straight away exit.

[ezzeq]

Gachimuchi knows how to package people. From pr or marketing industry?

Edited July 6, 2014 by ezzeq

[Huckleberry]

Thanks for all the love and personal message guys

 

Maybe for the first time for a very long time, I will very a night lovely hung from someone

[azimuth]

Be secure about yourself. The more you whine about it, the more it will take shape in reality. Take charge of the issue and make a personal commitment to change it.

[iamziz]

Thanks for all the love and personal message guys

 

Maybe for the first time for a very long time, I will very a night lovely hung from someone

 

A lovely hung dick or a hug or both? hehehehehehehehehehehehehe

[Guest Guest]

First : Change your profile.

http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showuser=8653

You: I am basically a nerd and am secretly proud of it [i have a Brain!]

Reply : Does it means that you like to stay home and do nerdy tech and intellectual stuff?

You: I would love to talk to people that share similar intellectual and work out interest as me.

Reply : what if you can't find people who share the same interest as you? does that means you stay single? Also, you do know that not everyone could be like you to match your nerdy interest

You : Please understand that unless you have made an effort to talk to me or get to know me, do not expect me to just except your friend request because I don't know you.

Reply : this seems to be the crux of your problem. I think people did make an effort to get to know you, but you blow them off with the above message. So Do you want or don't wants people to know you and make friend with you?

Second : Change your Signature.

You : DO NOT ADD ME AS A FRIEND IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

You : I WILL NOT ACCEPT.

You : AT LEAST HAVE THE COURTESY TO DROP ME A MESSAGE AND START TALKING FIRST.

Reply : No wonder you are alone and not loved. HELLO! You put yourself there.

Third : Change your profile pic

Reply : Like it or not, the above pic is screaming for unwanted attention from anyone who might lust after your body. So what do you want? you want people to take you seriously and engage in intellectual discussion with you or you want people to lust after you. Please make up your mind, OK.

Suggestion :

1. Rephrase your profile & Signature so that you appear more friendly.

2. State what you are looking for and please don't be so vague.

3. Change your profile pic if you don't want unnecessary attention from people who only lust after you body.

Since you state you are an intellectual person with a brain. Please put it to good use. I am sure you will know what I am trying to put across to you.

My 2 cents.

I totally disagree with GM.

No matter how you package, you can never please everybody. It is better to be honest and show what you feel is the real you. This gay circle is really getting too superficial. It is better that they don't even approach you then to breakup after getting involved.

There will always be others who will fit your profile.

There is nothing wrong feeling lonely, we are human after all. I am sure it shows that you are real. It is better than some who show a strong face in public but we know the real truth is far from that.

By the way, you are hot.... "WOOF"

Yeah I am superficial sometimes too. But I guess you are intellectual as you say, enough to handle that .

[Blacque]

Huckleberry's signature seems a little 'hostile', lol. 

 

 

If only we have a ''Hug Committee'' in different parts of Singapore where someone in need of a human touch can go to someone in the ''Hug Committee'' to get a hug or just cry with no questions asked. This can help the person feels better.

 

Hope you will have someone you can call a friend to offer you that hug you long for, TS.

 

Hugs

 

Actually, a 'hug committee' is very doable. Considering the benefits of hugging, why not?

[iamziz]

Huckleberry's signature seems a little 'hostile', lol. 

 

 

 

Actually, a 'hug committee' is very doable. Considering the benefits of hugging, why not?

 

Someone take the lead. Meanwhile, those sincerely need a hug in my area let me know. Will try to make time.

[cutejack]

only in your area? I need a hug as a friend honestly..will you?

[ziddyzid]

have some confidence to boost your self esteem, yah?

[Guest LonelyPerson]

Hi, I'm 20 year old and feeling very lonely. I don't really have much friends from this community and currently towards my friends I am still discreet. To be honest, I really don't know how to make real friends from this community because many times the people I've talked to just want to have sex. Any ideas for a starter to widen his circle of friends faster? I've never been to club, drink, smoke, sex, or have bf before so I haven't really done anything yet. Thanks!

[Chubby_1986]

Hi, I'm 20 year old and feeling very lonely. I don't really have much friends from this community and currently towards my friends I am still discreet. To be honest, I really don't know how to make real friends from this community because many times the people I've talked to just want to have sex. Any ideas for a starter to widen his circle of friends faster? I've never been to club, drink, smoke, sex, or have bf before so I haven't really done anything yet. Thanks!

Hii

[Guest Guest]

Hi, I'm 20 year old and feeling very lonely. I don't really have much friends from this community and currently towards my friends I am still discreet. To be honest, I really don't know how to make real friends from this community because many times the people I've talked to just want to have sex. Any ideas for a starter to widen his circle of friends faster? I've never been to club, drink, smoke, sex, or have bf before so I haven't really done anything yet. Thanks!

 

Why would u need to club, drink, smoke or have sex? Just make friends from different places and find your dreams like everyone else. Being gay doesn't mean u gotta do those things.

[greenroad]

hi dude.. there is no one bill that fits all.. do whatever you want which will make you happy, but just consider the consequences of your actions. eg smoking etc.

[navyblue]

I dun club drink smoke too.

Just lead a normal life and make friends through proper channels. I hang out mostly with straight people, and the few gays that I can talk to are from workplace.

[Guest Guest]

20 years old pls do not act as if are already go through a lot and know what is lonely and life,

you just make yourself more childish, wait till you 50 then you say it

[Guest jd]

Please stay safe and don't slip into the vicious cycle that a lot of people seem to get into. Being gay is simply your sexual orientation. It does not mean you have to

1) Use apps

2) Have hook-ups like sluts

3) Behave like prostitutes

4) Lack self-respect and respect for others

5) Go clubbing, drinking and exposing yourself to sexual predators every night

6) Compromise on personal values and beliefs

7) Get an STD

8) Jump into relationships

There are healthier ways to socialise and find yourself. Volunteer annually at Pink Dot. Look at Oogachaga and its activities, see what may fit you. Also lool up Pelangi Pride Centre (it's a library, if you're into that sort of thing).

Lastly, be yourself. You don't neccessarily have to go all out, because gays are everywhere and you never know where you might find love. Sometimes the most unexpected places. So don't neccessarily have to completely change your life, just be yourself.

[Guest Guest]

Please stay safe and don't slip into the vicious cycle that a lot of people seem to get into. Being gay is simply your sexual orientation. It does not mean you have to

1) Use apps

2) Have hook-ups like sluts

3) Behave like prostitutes

4) Lack self-respect and respect for others

5) Go clubbing, drinking and exposing yourself to sexual predators every night

6) Compromise on personal values and beliefs

7) Get an STD

8) Jump into relationships

There are healthier ways to socialise and find yourself. Volunteer annually at Pink Dot. Look at Oogachaga and its activities, see what may fit you. Also lool up Pelangi Pride Centre (it's a library, if you're into that sort of thing).

Lastly, be yourself. You don't neccessarily have to go all out, because gays are everywhere and you never know where you might find love. Sometimes the most unexpected places. So don't neccessarily have to completely change your life, just be yourself.

 

Very well said! And good recommendations of healthy pursuits for our LGBT youths. 

[Guest]

I'm feeling so depressed and alone eversince i outed myself. My relatives and friends are now keeping their distance from me. I'm not that goodlooking and not having great body so it is hard for me to get a boyfriend. I tried to use grindr for hookup but no one chooses me. They said even if you are a fat gay, someone will like you but nobdy is asking me.

[wilfgene]

31 minutes ago, Guest said:

I'm feeling so depressed and alone eversince i outed myself. My relatives and friends are now keeping their distance from me. I'm not that goodlooking and not having great body so it is hard for me to get a boyfriend. I tried to use grindr for hookup but no one chooses me. They said even if you are a fat gay, someone will like you but nobdy is asking me.

If you have indeed outed yourself, you would have signed up here.

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Guest said:

I'm feeling so depressed and alone eversince i outed myself. My relatives and friends are now keeping their distance from me. I'm not that goodlooking and not having great body so it is hard for me to get a boyfriend. I tried to use grindr for hookup but no one chooses me. They said even if you are a fat gay, someone will like you but nobdy is asking me.

 

Don't be disheartened. Some things take time. I really do think there's someone for everyone - may not necessarily be who you expect, though.