Philip & Me - My Story

[Guest Whisperer]

Guys, sorry for the long delay.

Anyway, here's the continuation ...

And Thanks again for reading my writings. At the same, Happy and Prosper Lunar New Year to all.

[Guest Whisperer]

It had been such a long time that I engaged the entire day in bed with someone, with whom I had started to feel so much closer and not bothered with doing anything else. There was no other wishful thinking than to be close with Philip. I hoped there would be more good days ahead. At last, I felt that my spirit was lifted even if it was only the beginning. That my past broken dream to love a man had finally left me and I prayed hard that it had buried itself with my past. Philip had, without him knowing, filled my emotional and physical void.

It was just so true that love had no other desire but to fulfil itself. It was a perfect Sunday to be with Philip. The beautiful feeling surpassed the needs for breakfast and lunch and I was not even feeling hungry for dinner. Perhaps, that was what most people would probably say that love made a difference.

We had so much personal conversation, personal sharings, throughout the day. For the very first time, Philip shared with me a lot more about himself. About his childhood, about his family and about Lynn. I was surprised, and particularly grateful and felt warmth, at his own comfort in opening up to me. Before today, he had always been very minimal in telling me anything personal. As much as I wanted to tell myself that I knew him, I did not know much. Mostly, in the past, his sharing was about his career and how important that he had to be financially successful.

While I consciously told myself that it took a lifetime to know somebody, today marked a significant beautiful beginning between us. In all the processes of sharing, we could learn more about ourselves. It might not be everything but, at least, we succeeded to lay a path towards establishing the health on our friendship. Of a new relationship between us.

I wanted the day to be filled with building up respect, and importantly trust, between us. It was the way I wanted about relationship should I fall in love again. My past experiences had taught me hard lessons that true physical intimacy was not possible without having emotional and intellectual sharings. There had to be a common ground and understanding, a voluntary communication without been coerced. We had to start to tell each other and let our sharings opened their doorways for each of us to understand about our emotions, ideas, philosophies, values and moral beliefs. These elements should never be taken for granted, either in life or in a relationship.

I took it as a good sign that we started to share more intimate stuffs. Perhaps, the sex that we had been having had reached its peak for the time being. And, the only good thing, after a physical exhaustion, that came out of it was to be naked about our life. I believed Philip had thrown himself, freed from his own restriction, into my world. He voluntarily shared everything that crossed his mind. I felt that I had become a significant person for him to bare it all. It was almost like two guys were falling in love and getting into a relationship and sharing was a crucial aspect.

While I appreciated all these forthcoming confessions, I felt a sense of loneliness in Philip. Deep inside him, there was a cry to reach out to someone. His voices, as he shared more about himself, had the lonesome energy. At times, I could feel the sadness in his tone.

"I have never had someone that I can talk with .." he said. "And I just feel you can understand me without judging."

I did not reply anthing to that. I did not want his thought to be disrupted. The less I talked, the less I could be critical and it would make it easier for him to flow out his thoughts, without disruption. I made a mental note to listen, to hear him and that was far more effective than to engage in a Q and A session.

I took his hand and held it tight. That was the only way I felt I could comfort him at the moment. I looked deep into his eyes. They were his windows to his soul and I wanted to be part of that. I wanted him to feel that I would always be there for him. It was the only way for us to share to trust each other.

"Do you think it is possible for a straight guy to be gay?" he asked. I knew this topic would come soon. After all, we had been having physical intimacy all throughout the week. In our nakedness, there was $!^*| nothing else that had not been shared. The fact remained, as at today, I had sucked his cock, tasted his tongue and his cums and he had entered me.

The one thing that I learned about Philip, he was sexually high. Yesterday had been such a marathon and he had been wanting more if I had not told him to slow down. I could not be conclusive about this new found intimacy, whether he enjoyed sex with me or just the actions per se. I still wanted to believe it was totally new to him. I kept pushing my suspicions away. I knew if he wanted to tell me otherwise, he would. That much I felt about his honesty. About his sincerity. That much I felt he would open up to me.

The thing about physical intimacy, it often crossed into our emotions and it could lead into a connection, a feeling of being totally secure and safe. Things could happen that created the potential to bridge souls to become one. Obviously, from the way I wanted to see it, Philip had felt good when we got intimate. It opened up the gateway for him to be true to himself. It released his own inhibitions. It unblocked, if there was any, a suppressed life he led so far.

Philip was the only son in the family. While his two sisters had already married with kids, he was still not planning to settle down. "Lynn knows that I am not in a hurry to marry her." he said nonchalantly. "The good thing, she is a very independent woman who wants to build her career first too."

In a way, I felt that Philip had a blessed life. There seemed to be no outside pressure other than what he imposed upon himself. His parents, as he shared, never asked that he should get married soon. "There was no pressure from them at all" he said. Unlike in my situation, my parents were still hoping for me to get married one day and gave them grandchildren.

Philip was pretty close with his parents, his sisters and nephews and nieces. I had met them during their Christmas celebrations over the last few years. There was so much bonding in the family. At work, Philip had always been lucky either with promotion and big annual increments. And then, he was lucky that Lynn had been such a nice girlfriend whom not stopping him from doing anything. Philip had his own social life that Lynn did not seem to intrude much. There were many times when Philip could be out with me and Lynn could spend her time doing her own things.

He leaned closer to me and gave me a hug. "What's that for?" I asked.

He did not reply. I suspected that Philip was not good romantically with words. I did not want to blame him. I had to understand. I had to accept it. Probably, it had to do with the Man's ego. Philip had been cooped in society, I believed it so, and it would never be easy for him to be lovey dovey with another guy. He behaved differently when he was with Lynn or with any of our female colleagues.

He started to play with my nipples. By now, he knew how sensitive my nipples were and it would lead me wanting more. He knew, what was to follow next, I would want sex. It made me glad in certain wierd ways that he knew how to make me horny. How to initiate sex. It got the better of, in my awkward shy ways, to get us into sex. Admittedly, I enjoyed being with him. I enjoyed his kisses, his hugs, his moans and the way he fucked me.

Philip made me to feel different. He was completely a gentle guy who knew how to turn sex into a sexual therapy. How to turn lust into tangible progress to bond and not just a mindless fuck-and-be-done session. He would always give me a good hug after I cummed. Even when he was about to cum, he made sure that I already had enough of the high feelings. He would then let out a gasping audible moan, with his own intense pleasure, to tell me that he was shooting out his hot sperm. He would not just pull his cock out but stayed inside me till I was done cumming. Then, he would kiss me while giving a good hug.

"I just want to feel your warmth. It makes me feel .. " he paused.

"Err, it makes you feel that you can fuck me again?" I teased him.

He chuckled. I restrained myself from teasing him too much. I wanted him to be comfortable with our situation. I wanted him to realize that it was a gay thing between us. For me, it was the natural way. He had to see it that way too if he wanted to be at peace with his life choices. I wanted him to accept it without my influence, without telling him what was right and not. A leopard would never change its spot and Philip had to find his own ways to be comfortable with himself. He had to realize it from within himself.

"Don't try me." he said. "It is a good thing that I have found my match."

"Your match?" I asked. My tone did not sound right.

"Oh, sorry." he replied.

Thing was, he should not feel sorry. I was not exactly taken aback but just surprised. But it was true that I was a little confused and he was right to sense it. Perhaps, I was puzzled, probably offended, with the words. Taking the time to explain, he continued "What I meant to say was, I am happy that we enjoy sex. I enjoy it and that you too, I believe. In a way, I am glad that I do not have to force you to participate just to get me to shoot off my load."

"Yes, I enjoy sex too and it hell makes a lot of different when doing it with someone I like." Indirectly, I wanted to let him know that I liked him, a lot. That, giving in, I had my limits too. I felt that I had gone past the days of aimless and meaningless sex. I would rather just DIY than to feel empty doing it with someone whom I could not connect with.

Philip started to touch my cock. "What the hell. I am not making you feel good now?"

He noticed that I was only having a semi erection. He lowered his head down to suck my dick head. I let him. He had my cock in his mouth and I still could not get hard. I pulled him up and gave him a kiss.

"Don't get the wrong idea," I started to talk, "I still want us to talk, Philip. I still want to hear so much about you." I lied a little there. What I wanted was to hear how he felt about the whole situation. Importantly, I wanted to hear about what he felt about me. It had come to a point where I needed to know.

There were so much about Philip that I wanted. I loved his body. I loved his low hanging balls, his thick cock with that beautiful long foreskin. I loved the way he kissed me. I loved the way he fucked me. But, what made me wanted him most, was his whole package. I felt so much connected spiritually with his soul. With his sincerity and openness. He had such a beautiful aura in his spirit that I wanted to be part of it.

I knew I had made him a little startled. I held his hand and got him to touch my nipples. I started to fondle his balls. Almost immediately, he was hard. I took his cock and sucked it. He gave a little soft moan. I pushed him to sit against the bed head. His cock had started to get wet with his precum. I reached out to get the condom.

"Oh shit, we have used all the three condoms?" I uttered in surprise.

It did not bother him somehow. "Do hear what I said?" I asked.

"Do you want me to rush down and get more?" He mocked playfully. "We can always use without it, can't we? Don't tell me you will get pregnant if I shoot inside you."

It surprised me. I was not sure whether to get angry or be thankful.

"Let's just be comfortable between us now. Perhaps, it has to be this way." he said.

"This way means .." I asked him.

"I like you and I want to feel you more. If only you allow me to" came his reply.

"Oh, what the fuck, Philip. What do you mean? You don't even know me much yet." I retorted.

"So let me be inside you without the condom. I will then know you since the rubber will only cloud my cock from seeing deep inside you." He tried to be funny.

"Only if you are my lover. Else you can wait." I was not thinking when I said that.

"I am now." came his quick reply. He pulled me closer to him and started to kiss me. "Don't you see what is happening between us?" he asked.

I tried to look away. I was speechless.

"Wierd it may sound to you and how impossible you think it is, I am falling for you." Philip held my head as he made that statement. He looked straight into my eyes. "And please don't you dare think I said this because I want to fuck you without the condom. That is not the point."

I was still speechless. I felt like a stupid bitch. I should be celebrating and screamed in joy but I had to have my head to sink in. Strange, when the truth had come in such an expected moment, my mind conveniently stopped to think. Was that how humans could never be satisfied, I wondered. Why could humans be difficult to be pleased?

"I hope you are feeling the same way too." he asked me.

I did not want to answer it. Instead, I kissed him and played with his cock. I wanted it to stay hard. I wanted him to ooze with more precum. We continued to french kiss while I rolled down his foreskin. Slowly, I lifted myself up and placed his cock to enter me. I pushed myself down slowly to let his cock to enter me. It was a little painful but somehow it did not matter much. I let his full length to go inside me while I sat on him.

"Are you feeling alright?" he whispered into my ear.

"Just hug me and don't move, Philip" I finally said something.

We did not move once we found a comfortable position. I just wanted to sit on top of him. I wanted to feel him from this position. I eased myself and not to feel any more pain. I did not want him to move in and out too.

"Okay, let's continue talking now" I chuckled and gave a little laugh.

Philip burst into laughter. "You are just a genius prick!" he hit on my head gently.

"Do you really meant what you said earlier, Philip?" I asked him.

[Guest Guest]

Somehow, I keep thinking of Philip as this guy when reading the story. He's the husband in the korean drama 粉红色唇膏 LOL

[Mareshka]

Whisperer, your writing is so intense. I've never ever read such a rivetting story. Well done!

PS: If you can shorten the lapse between entries, that'll be awesome hehe but hey, you're the ringmaster here

[AidenKingston]

Could someone from the admin side compile his story and put it in a new post like a story book?

[Guest Guest]

Hi whisperer, your story nv fail to make me hard whenever I read. Damn nice. And envy you can have fun with your love one.

Can you briefly describe yourself? Your looks, height, weight, and of cos ur dick. Keke.

Thanks.

[Guest Guest]

It seem there are a few paragraphs missing from the last entry to the current entry

[Guest passer by]

what actually happen after philip saw the whatsapp??

[Guest Whisperer]

Whisperer, your writing is so intense. I've never ever read such a rivetting story. Well done!

PS: If you can shorten the lapse between entries, that'll be awesome hehe but hey, you're the ringmaster here

Thanks again, Marekshka for reading. Haha, I'll try to do that though time, mostly, is against me. Kinda lame, I know, as I often believe that we should be taking charge of our time and time a slave to it. Hopefully, I can get myself better organized.

[Guest Whisperer]

Somehow, I keep thinking of Philip as this guy when reading the story. He's the husband in the korean drama 粉红色唇膏 LOL

Ah, he's cute.

[Guest Whisperer]

Could someone from the admin side compile his story and put it in a new post like a story book?

I don't think that's possible nolifeGRAY.

[Guest Whisperer]

Hi whisperer, your story nv fail to make me hard whenever I read. Damn nice. And envy you can have fun with your love one.

Can you briefly describe yourself? Your looks, height, weight, and of cos ur dick. Keke.

Thanks.

Thanks Guest.

Err, I am much just an average person. About the same physique as Philip. Wahlau eh, LOL, err, my dick is also just average but it is functional well.

Philip stood at 1.76m and probably his weight was about 68 kg.

[Guest Whisperer]

It seem there are a few paragraphs missing from the last entry to the current entry

My bad. I don't usually follow-up the story from where it previously ends.

what actually happen after philip saw the whatsapp??

Nothing significant. To Philip, the message was kinda a synchronicity to how we would be spending the day. He mentioned that Lynn would be busy and would be out almost the whole day. Hence, there was no necessity for Philip to call her. In a way, it was like a free day for him just to spend time with me. :twisted:

[Guest Guest]

Nice story. Get me hooked. Hope to see the continuation soon.

[estee12]

hey. whisperer! not sure if this question is asked yet, but are you still with philip currently?

[Guest Guest]

Philip sound to me the man I ever have some encountered with him and we are still in contact. To confirm is Lynn a stewardess from SQ.

[Guest passer by]

eh??? no more already??? 

[Guest Whisperer]

Nice story. Get me hooked. Hope to see the continuation soon.

 

Thanks Guest.  Hope you'll continue to read.

 

 

hey. whisperer! not sure if this question is asked yet, but are you still with philip currently?

 

Ah, can I answer that through continuation of the more stories to come?

[Guest Whisperer]

Philip sound to me the man I ever have some encountered with him and we are still in contact. To confirm is Lynn a stewardess from SQ.

 

The world can be such a small place.  Sometimes, I feel that we may have some kind of a twin somewhere.

 

It shocks me that there is such a synchronicity.  Lynn is not a stewardess.

[Guest Whisperer]

eh??? no more already??? 

 

I am finding time to write.  Have been busy with CNY and travelling.

 

Hopefully will write soon.  Thanks again for reading, passer by.

[Guest -Capricorn=]-]

I totally love reading ur story right from the start, and will definitely be waiting for the next part as always!! Can't wait!

[Tasmania Tasmania]

Great stories! !

[Cornerstone]

it is like a dream come true! reminded me of the similar feelings I had...

[chaox]

waiting for the continuation 

[G a b]

Hey Whisperer, trust me, you make every single one of us here on the edge waiting for the next part! I really like your story! Keep it coming aites?

Cheers!

[Guest passer by]

ahhh.... no more already??? i miss the story...

[Guest Whisperer]

I totally love reading ur story right from the start, and will definitely be waiting for the next part as always!! Can't wait!

 

 

Great stories! !

 

 

it is like a dream come true! reminded me of the similar feelings I had...

 

 

waiting for the continuation 

 

 

Hey Whisperer, trust me, you make every single one of us here on the edge waiting for the next part! I really like your story! Keep it coming aites?

Cheers!

 

 

ahhh.... no more already??? i miss the story...

 

Thank You all!

 

Sorry for the late reply.  Hehe .. * Akan Datang * soon ...

[Guest Whisperer]

I felt so much engulfed with kindred emotions sitting on top of Philip.  This close proximity between us, with our bodies barely an inch away from each other in this position, gave me that longing feeling not to let him go.  We had never been this close.  We had never been this intimate.  We had never explored the possibility that we could allow our souls to snug into each other's comfort zone and yet filled so much at ease with respect.  In this position, the fusion of our auric fields intertwined into one common reciprocal feeling.

I felt every inch of his hard cock moving deep inside me as I glided it all in.  I made sure to glide it slow so that I could feel it all.  Admittedly, this position made me to take charge though not that I wanted to take a dominant role nor I triumphed at the situation.  I was able to sit on it right through.  I liked the feeling.  I could feel his cock hitting something inside me and it gave me, somewhat, an intensed sensation.  

This feeling was more than sexual.  It brought about a host of other needs and feelings.  It was a weighty bagful feeling of love, of wanting to be held, wanting to be caressed and, importantly, a feeling of value.  I made sure he was comfortable to take my weight.  I made sure he enjoyed it as much too.  At times, he gave a soft moan and I could feel that he wanted me to just push it in.  At times, he grabbed me hard.  I ignored all his actions.  I wanted him to feel the aesthetics of making love, the stimulation that two men could possibly enjoy, and there was more than just the thrusting to reach the climax.
 

I never knew that we could engage with such delicate sex.  All those past thoughts and all those unwanted fears to become sexual, and to get into a relationship, with Philip were one useless energy.  I should have known better that fear hindered many progress.  It hindered the growth for faith.  Fear, in itself, destructed the flow of life.  It swayed away our mind far from cultivating motivations and achieving confidences.  

There were many times, throughout our friendship, that I had a strong feeling that Philip had some subtle liking for me.  But I always took it that we were just great buddies.  That we just happened to have so much common perspectives about life.  Philip and I were so much a thinker rather than a doer.  I learned not to provoke the situation.  I was afraid that I could lose him as a friend should i misread the signs.  All these years, I convinced myself to ignore my instincts.

There were times when I told myself that I might regret for not taking the initiative.  I might look back, one day in the future, and felt ridiculous that I had let opportunities and time to slip away.  After all, Philip had known about me.  If he had been homophobic, we had laid down and spelt all the Dos and Don'ts.

Deep inside me, I thanked the Universe to bring me this far.  To put a closure to my fears and allowed me to walk my life on Earth with Philip.  The way I had wanted it to be.  It had always been, in my selfish way, never enough that he was just a good friend, a good colleague and a good buddy.  I wanted more of him.  I wanted to share his life and let him shared mine in return.  I wanted to be his lover and that he could love me, as a lover, in return.

 

There had always been something special and something mysterious about Philip. I felt that I would be a happier guy should I be able to be together with him in a relationship.  Where we would make a good couple, be in a complimentary role and to grow old together.

I hugged him tight when I finally had his full length inside me.  I looked into his eyes and slowly kissed him.  He placed his hands on my buttock to support me.  I squeezed my arse tight.

"Aaahhhh" he moaned.  "I never knew fucking a guy is so nice." He started to say something.

"Careful what you might say, dude."  Somehow, I became a little defensive.  Truth was, I did not want to be made a sexual object.  I did not want Philip to make use of me to release, if any, his pent up sexual desires.  I was still struggling with my consciousness to accept that things were happening for good reasons.

"You seem to have a problem that we are having sex here.  Why do I have this feeling that you think I am just toying you?"  There was assertiveness in his voice.

At times, I forgot that Philip was very intuitive.  I put my head to rest on his shoulder.  It was my way to avoid my shame.  He held my face as he continued, "You must learn to have more faith in me.  This is the only way we can move on together."

"While it is true that I enjoy it, it is not about taking any advantages here.  I could easily just wank off and not to deal with any repercussion.  Have you also thought that I could think that you are taking advantage?"

 

That was one hell of a confession, I thought.  It made me to realize that I was still trapped in my self conscious world.  It brought back the awareness that I had not moved on from my last failed relationship.  I had become afraid of love.  I had little faith in other guys.  It made me to realize that logical thinking thinned out when lusts over-powered the mind.  Lust often traded in and when sex was over, we could either regret, feel cheap or abandon.

"And please don't say you are sorry here.  It is good that we have this conversation.  We will learn to know each other and we will learn to accept each other."  He ended, what I felt was hard truth, and hugged me tight.

I was speechless.  Philip had read my mind well.  He definitely understood how I felt at the same time.  Perhaps, he understood the subtle shame that was going through inside me.  There was some sort of shame, which I could not even describe it well, that I - as a man, could be such a bottom. To start with, I had probably conjured up the idea that it made me less manly and that Philip would not take me seriously.  I had been wrapped in all these heteronormative bullshits that the straight society had thrusted upon us.

Funny, as much as I felt tension about the conversation, my body knew that I had to keep his erection inside me.  I glided up and down to keep his cock hard.  I did not want it to slip out.  I did not want it to get messy.  I wanted to take it out only after he shot his cum inside me.

 

"I just want you to accept me for what I am, Philip."  I took the courage to say something in return.  "And what we are doing, I have to tell you honestly that I have started to feel something stronger for you ..."

I left it at that.  I still needed more courage to admit that I had fallen in love with him.  That I wanted a relationship.  That I was ready to be his lover.

"And so be it.  Like you, I feel that we are crossing over into a new territory with our friendship." He replied.

I started to kiss him again.  We kissed hard and he started to play on my nipples.  I gave a soft moan and he started to thrust his hard cock up and down.  My precum wetted our lower bodies.

"How come your nipples are so sensitive?" he asked.

"Ah, remind me to call my mum and ask her later." I joked.

Philip slapped my face lovingly and thrusted his hard cock deeper.

"Ouch!"

"Sorry, does that hurt? Sorry. Sorry."  There was much sincerity when he said it.  He hugged me tight as though he had hurt me.  That was, indeed, Philip who always cared for others.

 

"I am going to fall back so you can do your part, Philip."  I suggested to him.  He laughed and replied, "Gosh, I thought you would want to control me!"

"No, I rather you do the hard work." I snorted and continued laughing.

It took us awhile to adjust our position without getting his hard cock slipped out.  We moved to the edge of the bed where he could fuck me while he was standing.  It seemed to be a comfortable position for both of us.  I spread my legs and lifted it higher.  He pushed his full length inside me.  I held his shoulder and brought his upper body down to my level to kiss me.

He started to play on my nipples.  I felt high and folded my legs across his back.  Slowly, he started to lick my right nipple.  It was the most sensivite one.  I moaned louder.

"Pump me, Philip." I kinda begged him.

Instead, he glided out his cock slowly and when it was almost out, he thrusted it in.  He kept doing that few times.  Each time, I wanted more.  Strangely, it made me to have an erection too.  My precum kept dripping.

"Do you want me to shoot inside you?" he asked.

It was unexpected.  I thought he would continue and just shoot.  I opened my eyes and replied, "Of course, I want it to be inside me.  I want to feel you."

"You sure?" he asked.

 

"If you think I can be pregnant, try it and we'll know soon."

Philip smiled.  That smile was such magical.  Suddenly, there was a gust of emotions filled in me.  I felt his light of love.  I felt another kind of emotion between us.  I felt something so different.  He pumped me again.  Slow and hard.  Slow and hard.  It was such a good fucking feeling that I had never felt for so long.  It was a high feeling that I had missed for years and suddenly I felt my soul had come back to me.

Strange but I felt blissful.  I felt his love welling up on the inside of me.  I was overcome with an indescribable emotion that I cummed at the same time without wanking it.  My hot sperm shot all over my body and, for such an unknown situation, I cummed loads.

Philip saw that I had auto cummed and thrusted faster.  Soon, he exploded his load inside me as he moaned louder.  "I've cummed." he said.

I smiled and and got him to lie on me.  I put my legs behind his back and hugged him.

"I hope you enjoyed it." he whispered softly.

"I do, Philip."  I told him as he rested his head comfortably on my shoulder.  We stayed in this position for awhile. We felt restful.  We felt peaceful.  Gently, he raised my upper body and hugged me tight.  We kissed.

"I love you, Philip." so I told him.
 

 

 

 

 

[Mareshka]

Hail Philip...and Whisperer hehe

[Guest Happy Guy]

Like like like.....

[otokonoko]

讚！

[addicktz]

Twice and I your latest entry and twice I ended up with a hardon! Nice update. But please try not to let us wait so long!

[alien0505]

Your story always keep me want to read more. I love your story, so lovely n touching.

Where usually your have your sex?

[Yas1950]

Great stuff Whisperer, welcum back.

[Guest Guest]

wheres ur update? more than a month already!

[Yas1950]

Somwhow I had missed your latest update till now.

Wow this chapter is so hot yet not too vulgar. Very well written.

Again I would urge you to not hide behind  being a guest and write using

your membership 'handle' so we can register our 'likes' and you can

earn 'credits'.

Thanks for a beautiful piece.

Edited April 22, 2013 by Yas1950

[Guest jaY]

Is this thread still alive or already moved to another?

[Guest Whisperer]

Sorry for the long break, guys.

 

It has been busy, busy road lately. 

 

The continuation ....

 

 

 

 

[Guest Whisperer]

Our friendship had a new twist.  It had moved on to something special.  It happened naturally.  It just happened.  The lesson that I learned here was to give up my desperation and to allow faith to come in.  I had been telling myself not to think too much about it.  It was something special, something beautiful and that I had to accept it and just be thankful.  Over thinking usually made us not to live the way life should be.  Worries and pride obscured the process of life.  When I let go of my desperation, my spirit lifted.  It made the impossible possible.

I was no longer surprised, nor would I allow my mind to let it wondered, that Philip had changed.  Philip had become very much comfortable with me.  He could just hug me or kiss me whenever he felt like.  Everytime he did it, I would be swamped with the feeling of love.  Of wanting and wanted.  Of joy and peace that, suddenly, my life had become full again.  

I had learned to accept the fact that the process of our lives was meant to be.  It took years but it had happened.  Perhaps, the process had to be this way.  We had to be friends first so that we could learn to experience with each other.  It was, probably, the tide of waves that we needed to go through, with all the up and down, to finally knowing someone before the real emotion set in.  That, when it really happened, there was real meaning to it.  There was real agenda to pursue.  There was real purpose.

 

No one had the right to judge what was happening between us.  No one had the right to say that I had taken advantage of a situation and it placed it to my favor.  I saw nothing, absolutely nothing, to think that Philip had been under coercion to do what he seemed to know.

"I am a happy guy now."  Philip said.  We had just finished our dinner and having coffee.  In three days, we would be heading back home.

"I never thought things will be this way.  The silly me wants to thank you but it sure makes no sense."

"It does not!" I stopped him.  I knew what he wanted to tell me.  I knew exactly how he felt.  Still, he had to say it.

"I want to be with you!  There is this indescribable feeling that is growing within that I want it to continue.  Strangely, I am also feeling afraid to lose you now."

 

I sat there just looking at him.  Speechless but elated.  Joyful yet the unexpected sadness crept a little.  I wondered at the mystery of life.  The same nuances of life, as a whole, where good things seemed to come only after we had to go through some hurdles.  Had it be this way for humans to reap with wonderful rewards?

"We have to make future plans.  There must be a way for us to be together from now on.  I do realize it is not going to be easy, especially for me, but I want you to know that I will not want things to end between us."

I knew he was thinking of Lynn.  I had my conscience about it too.  Emotional love, somehow, aroused the unexpected yet emotional hope was an act of cowardice.  I could not place both energies and hoped for a win-win situation to happen.  I began to be aware that the experience had a reason to teach us what we had not yet learned.

 

"Are you with me?"  Suddenly, he felt that he had talked too much.  "Do say something. Give me the assurance that I .. or we .. are doing the right thing?"

"What is right for me may not be the right thing for you, Philip." I replied.

"But, at least, you can agree or disagree.  It will be good if we are to talk about it.  We are in it together here, right?"  Obviously, his patience was running out.

I decided to move closer to him.  It did not matter that we were in a public place.  We felt that we had to be close to each other.  "You know that I have fallen for you, right?" I asked.

 

He nodded and placed his hand over mine.  I could kiss him there and then.  "You have to find your right thing within you, Philip."  I continued.  "I always believe that faith is freedom and that you have to find your own to be who you are.  Importantly, whatever that you think is the right thing for you, I will honor it.  For you to love me now is already a great blessing."

"Yes, I am aware that you love me and I ... love .. you too."  There was sincerity when he said that though he had to pause to finish the sentence. I understood that it was not easy for him to verbalize those words with his new life experience.

"Guess, what I am trying to tell you, things between us may not be the same when we go back.  I may need to adjust things and I fear that you might think that I am .."

 

"Dump me?" I decided to finish it for him.

"I know about your past.  You don't have to dwell dark into it.  And, that's not the way to be serious here."  There was seriousness in his tone.  Perhaps, I had to work on my faith.  I had to move on and to allow opportunity to take place.

"Let's not plan, Philip.  All that we need to do is to honor how and what we are feeling for each other now." I continued after feeling guilty to make such a silly remark earlier.  "The more we jitter, the more we make it worse."

I guessed that laid the answer.  There was nothing wrong with anxiety but all that we could do was to place hope for good things to happen.  For thinking positively that would lead to positive consequences.  We had to live and always looked for a solution for each repeated fears.  Sooner, little by little, a path could be found and we would learn to live with the storms.
 

"I guess that's it eh?"  Philip remarked.  "I am still not sure how to make you believe that I want you .."

"How about you say 'let's just pay and we go back to the hotel now?" I interrupted.

Philip laughed.  "Oh yes! You still owe me one fuck!"

 

 

 

[garuda]

Love the story...

[otokonoko]

It was a painful wait, Whisperer!

[Thinker]

Emotional love, somehow, aroused the unexpected "yet emotional hope was an act of cowardice."...

. this just hits the point.... of most of us I think....

[Guest Whisperer]

Love the story...

 

Thank You, garuda.

 

It was a painful wait, Whisperer!

Works have taken much of me. I must add that I would love to continue the story and put it to an end. Someday, when I am ready, this story has to end.

Meanwhile, Thank You for patiently reading it, otokonoko. 

 

Emotional love, somehow, aroused the unexpected "yet emotional hope was an act of cowardice."...

. this just hits the point.... of most of us I think....

It is tragic eh, that we have hope but very often we tend not to honor it.

[Guest Whisperer]

We made love that night. When we reached back at the hotel, we were in each other's arms. The feelings we had were of legitimate needs and desires. There was a sense of meaning, of bonding together and putting the truth in the doing. The truth when we spoke about what we wanted. The truth of wanting to be together, to share our lives together and the willingness to go through it.

Honesty in heart to heart communication was such a powerful theme. It provided us to view every event, every sorrow and, perhaps, every prayer with the unshakable conviction that Love was totally and spotlessly trustworthy. The bottom line, it was easy to trust in things we could feel and see. We had fallen in love. We had fallen in love with the feelings that we got when we were together. We had turned those feelings into words, putting the truth into practice, and it filled us with romance. It was a wonderful thing.

This so-called thing, to both of us, was rather new. I had fallen for a guy whom I never thought would be my boyfriend. As much I had grown to like Philip, from just a colleague to a close friend, it didn't conjure that he would be in love with me today. There were many fleeting ideas to sex him particularly with the many occasions seeing his naked body back in the club. There were always the helpless hope. There were dreams and I had often wondered where it would end, where it would bring me and how it could happen. I believed Philip had never thought, in his wildest imagination, that he would fall for a guy too.

"Why is it that fucking you is always a good feeling?" Philip asked as he laid on top of me. He had wanted his cock to be inside me rather than I gave him a blow job.

I enjoyed the missionary position. To me, I didn't feel like I had been fucked properly if I had not spent at least a little time feeling the weight of the man above me, putting something on me. This position allowed me to look at Philip. This position allowed me to appreciate at his fundamental moves and to feel his emotions, in and out. There was absolutely nothing more beautiful than just to watch him. There was nothing better than noting the subtleties of a man who I had fallen deeply in love with.

"Because my ass is called love?" I teased him. "And if you are to push it harder in, it might even call your name out!" It was said in jest.

He laughed. I had asked for it! He pumped me harder and, at times, increasing the pace faster. "And .. and .. and .. when .. will .. I .. hear .. my .. name ..?" he asked without stopping the action.

I gave him a strong hug. I knew Philip was doing it not to hurt me but to get back at me for making fun of him. It was his loving subtle way to get even. Yet, there was gentleness in all the harshness. There was a swamped of gentle loving feeling going in and out of me. I never liked it rough but the way Philip did it gave me a feeling of security. A pleasurable feeling that completed my desire to be with him.

"Ahhhh .." he moaned softly into my ears as he put his whole weight on me.

"Did you cum?!?!" I asked.

He didn't reply. He stayed motionless while kissing my neck.

"Hey, did you cum??!!" I insisted for an answer.

He laughed. "Silly you! I know you want me to stay in longer." He continued laughing and started to pump me again. "Still feel the hard cock?" he continued laughing.

I grabbed him tight to stop the motion. In a way, I felt embarrassed. I raised my legs to wrap around his waist. That was the only way that I thought I could get him to stop laughing. Not that I was angry but it made me looked desperate. Guessed I had too much pride in me. Often, I had this little silly insecurity that I cared too much of what other people might think of my private side.

He started to kiss me. He knew that I was engulfed with my inferiority. Philip just knew my inner insecurities. The good thing, he would act without talking about them which would make me to feel worse. I reciprocated the deep passionate kiss. We continued to kiss, slow and sensual. I hugged him hard. I felt blessed and I prayed that our love would be forever.

"I always just want you to enjoy it, Philip." I told him. "And I must add that it makes me to feel good too, especially it is you who are giving it."

"I know that. It is good that I had one beer before we left the restaurant. It makes me to shoot it longer." he replied.

"But I want to shoot soon. The feeling is too good." He begged.

"And you will do it again before we finally call it a night?" I was not thinking as I said that.

I liked the intimacy between us. Somehow, I could never get enough of him. I could not put myself away from him without making love every night. I wanted him badly and I got very aroused around him and wanted to make love to him. The good thing, we felt freely in each other's presence and we did not have to hide any emotions. We felt good when we were around each other.

"Do you want to shoot it together or you prefer that I shoot first?" he asked.

"I prefer that I cum after you, Philip. And I want your cock to be still inside me when I shoot." I told him.

[otokonoko]

Welcome back!

[Yas1950]

As always, a great piece. Thanks for sharing your life with us.
Great work!

Yas

[Guest Fan]

Please continue. Nice story

[Guest Guest]

pls continue!

[Hermes]

so it ended or wat? 

[otokonoko]

What happened to whisperer?