Discussion on Facts & Signs of Aging + How to cope with Aging + Aging Gracefully (compiled)

[Guest Guest]

I see 3 bitches. Hahaha.

Ok guys. Back to the topic or like the bitch says, I'll hv to kick you guys.

Thank u gm. Love u lots some ppl just can't take the heat when a different than theirs opinion is offered.

[Guest white hair]

I am really pleased i am getting more white hair now. Is that "aging gracefully"?

[Guest Guest]

I am really pleased i am getting more white hair now. Is that "aging gracefully"?

Frankly, some men do look better and sexier with white hair.

As for me, guess I have the same problem with most Asian gay men.

I'm lean and have a boyish face, and lucky me no white hair in sight yet.

I've no choice but to upkeep my looks, yoga and whitening products a must for me!

[gstc82]

Joan rivers! Simply loved her!

[Guest sushibomb]

It is very rare case that men do look better and sexier with white hair( ex. Richard Gere).

Usually white hair make men look older than their ages.

[Guest Aged soul]

My neighbour kids really drove me up the wall.  Everyday, they played and jumped next door until the late evening and have been tolerated everyday.  I am not the kind of guy who lost temper easily, neither do show them openly.  Most of my life I swallowed all kind of unjust but this one really drove me up the wall.  

 

Today, their noise came so loud and literally right at my doorstep, treating the corridor like their playground.  I opened the door, told them off and than shut it immeidately.  Thereafter something quite worrying happened...

 

I trembled. Why is that so?  Was it sign of all those bottle up anger and suddenly it released instantly resulted in me getting so agitated?  Nevertheless, the kids got my message and shut their holes. 

 

What is more annoying is the parents, how did they bring those kids to be such a noise and mishief? Their nose not only penetrated the walls next door, but it creeps me out and have my goose stand on end.  I cannot have proper sleep and I need to work the next day.  I just could not understand why parents are not disclplining their child and by telling their children to shut off, they may come after a gay next door. Will they?

 

Is my fear unfounded or is my aging taking a toll on me.  

[EasleyLim]

How old are you?

[Guest guest]

All along u must be a timid person, never show yr anger to another party, when u decided to let go yr emotion, imagine the amount of courage and decision u pull in, and sudden outburst is just too much for u to take. Sign of old age? It tremble in normal day, eg holding a cup

[Guest Aged soul]

40

How old are you?

[Guest Guest]

Thyroid problems may cause trembling. Diabetes may also be a cause. In your case, it might just be a sudden drop in blood sugar because your body used up a lot of sugar and oxygen in your anger (or more likely your low blood sugar is causing you to be angry) causing you to tremble. Go for a blood test and ask the doctor to do the tests for the above at some polyclinics. Cost less than $30, I think.

[Guest Wesley]

I had the same think although I only put up with it for a couple of months. One morning at 7AM I confronted the mother while her to mutant children, a boy and a girl, were kicking up a ruckus in the stairwell echoing into our bedroom. Her excuse was that they were only children. I guess she felt children her children should be allowed to do whatever they wanted. I informed her she was a lousy parent. This embarrassed her and I haven't had a problem since.

Some people are selfish.

[shyc]

Aged Soul, sympathies to your problems. I guess bring up children is not easy for parents who are not well prepared or responsible. But than again children are children, if it's one child than the issue seems rather insignificant but when you put two or more together, that's when the 'fun' begin. Fun for them but agony for other not used to such. We too were children once. You mention it being a constant affair till your outburst. Had you spoken to the parents before, informing them it disturb you too much especially if it's late into the evening? As responsible parents they would try to control it to the minimum but you must understand they are children and asking them to be completely quiet while growing up might be too difficult a task. If it's repeated issue and you had already inform them, than maybe you might consider to highlight to them that you might bring up the matter to your town council. Of course this must be within a reasonable boundary. Anyway unless the children are already spoilt brats under their irresponsible parents, one sudden yell most likely to scare them for a while to behave. 

Which bring me to the issue of equating trembling to aging. At 40, unless you suffering from some form of early aging, otherwise it's really nothing to worry too much over. From your description above, sound more like you were way too agitated which may have cause you to tremble after doing something you most likely don't do regularly. Unless you are constantly trembling recently than my advice is seek a professional doctor advice, incase of any underlining issue. If it's just one off than, you are way too disturb by your neighbours' children. 

Sometime problems are easily resolve if you just try to talk things out. Unless you are already having issue with their parents or else they will try to understand. A lot of time people are not sensitive to their surrounding. In this instant the parents may have gotten used to their children noise pollution, that they fail to notice the disturbance. 

Hopefully you can manage to resolve amicably.

[Guest Passingthru]

Barring neurological or genetic problems, trembling is a sign that you're in a highly toxic state.  Certainly a strapping young man of 40( in this day and age, 40 is the new 29 ) shouldn't be getting the shakes.

 

Give me a DETAILED( as if you were writing a diary or posting silly FB statuses ) account of a typical day in your life from rise till bedtime and I'll show you where you've gone astray.

 

Personally, I'm lucky in that when I'm acutely stressed, my toxic state reveals itself in the form of scarily dark urine despite enough liquid intake.  This clear manifestation/warning helps me take steps to mitigate the problem.

[darkflame]

I do tremble quite a lot when a dog barks at me or when I need to talk to people upfront.

[Guest stbrianud]

I do tremble quite a lot when a dog barks at me or when I need to talk to people upfront.

 

I assume his trembling is more like spasms rather than chills down the spine or in fear.

[Guest proper]

It's okay. You're just reacting to adrenalin.

Once you clear the adrenalin you should be fine.

[Guest Aged soul]

I tremble when I am agitated. Sometimes unreasonable and demanding colleagues also made me tremble. People screamed at me also made me tremble.  

 

A little history, my dad and uncle also have such symtoms.  Are this inherited and is there a cure?

[Butterscotch]

And here I thought trembling refers to when you bottom and you have your legs up in the air for too long. Oop.

[Gerard]

You were hyper because of anger so you trembled.

[Guest Guest]

I tremble when I am agitated. Sometimes unreasonable and demanding colleagues also made me tremble. People screamed at me also made me tremble.  

 

A little history, my dad and uncle also have such symtoms.  Are this inherited and is there a cure?

It is natural. I also have this. If u are frightened and u don't tremble, then something is wrong with u biologically. Once u get used to the frights, u will not tremble anymore because u would have known how to handle the situation.

 

If a person works in very hostile working environment eg. customer service, or in mediation centres, or in courts or prisons where u witness or have to deal with very hostile people every day, u will not tremble. If u shout at a lawyer or police, they won't tremble, they will be able to react to your shouting very calmly, because they are used to it. But if u shout at those dainty girls where their boyfriends/husbands always protective of them, immediately they will cry. 

 

So don't worry about the trembling. Just tell yourself u should not frighten and u must deal with it with composure. U will notice after some time, you no longer tremble. 

[Guest Guest]

its normal. when im angry, i also tremble and turn red face since young. but i dont tremble until i shake like a drug addict.

[Guest Blow]

When you see your wrinkles becoming more and more. Your hair start to turn white. Your skin not as tight. Your eyes lose the sparkle. Your teeth chip and break. The pride of youth gives way to the despair of old age.

 

How do you cope? Especially if you were once handsome.

[doncoin]

I don't think old age is about despair, or any age for that matter. Getting old is an eventuality, just as growing up is. From the moment we are born, we are marching towards death. Between both points is how we live. Choosing despair is a choice. Once you figured out and accept reality, there really isn't much to be upset about. You do what you can to maintain what you have. What cannot control, accept it, and focus on what you can and have. 

 

Don't be too attached to your looks. They fade. 

[khanomjeen]

No time to even think about that.

 

Work, invest, gym travel. Life really passes you very quickly.

 

Live in the moment and be happy and satisfied Be healthy and humble.

 

[Guest Alive]

If you don't age, you die...

 

I choose to age. LOL!

[Guest Clash]

Getting older is part of life but you can fight it every step of the way. I am 44 and almost everyone who meets me for the first time says I look about 30. Facial wrinkles and sagging skin can be fought with facial creams and if necessary botox, white hair can be colored, eyes can be uplifted by smiling more and looking happy, chipped teeth can be repaired by dentists, bulging bellies can be tightened by going to the gym, and love handles can be removed by surgery if needed. Expensive? Yes! But either you accept getting older quietly or you fight it for as long as possible.

[upshot]

On 07/10/2016 at 0:01 AM, Guest Blow said:

When you see your wrinkles becoming more and more. Your hair start to turn white. Your skin not as tight. Your eyes lose the sparkle. Your teeth chip and break. The pride of youth gives way to the despair of old age.

 

How do you cope? Especially if you were once handsome.

 

My external appearance and looks does not define me. You appreciate what you have and enjoyed it while you can.... THEN,... as you mature ( as oppose to saying growing old) you maturely face the fact and rationalize that like everything else, nothing stays the same. What goes up must come down.

Might be hard for you if this has escaped you all this time as life for you till now seem like there is no end in sight but it is never too late to come to term with it. You have to. There is no going back and not always reversible. I come to this point more or less but as much as I knew what I use to be able to do, now having to slow down or do less is something that does not bother me as much. There are trades-offs too but SEX is not always so important to me. SEXUALITY does not again define me. Looks though I was much better looking before might have faded somewhat from being older... again it does not define me. For one thing I am comfortable being with people or as a loner and who I am with how I look.

You did not grow old in a split second. You have time still to adjust and come to term with who you are now, know who you are then and now you need to know what you are today heading into the sunset phase. All is still not lost. Just need to take certain things off the table and add some other new lifestyle stuff activities or changes to your present situation. It happens to all of us eventually.

By the way, this is not exclusive to gays.. this is something that effects str8 folks too. Mid-life crisis or whatever you want to call it. We will never get to avoid it. You can only delay it for so long.

Edited October 8, 2016 by upshot
Typos...and some clarity due to missing words from rushing to post heh

[PaterTenebrarum]

You said "if you were once handsome". But u see..older guys can still look good. 

Of course...with age, it does get a wee bit harder. If in the past I could binge eat for the whole day and not gain an ounce, now I can feel myself balloon after just a meal.

Sure..the hair is now thinning at spots and the lines are currently more pronounced.

But truth be told...I feel better now than I did in my party boy 20s. 

With age.. one has to take better care of oneself. So I quit smoking...cut down drinking n took up long distance running. So..am now at the same weight of an 18year old me...22 years ago!

So...yea..u csn be older n look good n have a tight body with abs. It just takes a wee bit more effort.

I embrace aging cos I cannot run away from it.

Edited October 7, 2016 by PaterTenebrarum

[Guest Fatty]

I feel suicidal. 

[Guest 7156]

 

"My external appearance and looks does not define me ."

 

Huh , I am dumbfounded.

 

 

[Guest mcsteamy]

it's inevitable. no point harping on the past. live in the present. only way is forward. there are many many other things life has to offer, if you choose to look beyond your current scope. 

[Traveler3032]

Diet,  exercise are good anti aging measures.  But frankly,  you also need a well paying job and have financial security.  Then you have confidence and resources to attract guys!  Don't play too much when you're young.  Career is still important. 

[azimuth]

Like what they always say. Enjoy while it last!

[Guest Druggie]

Better take more ice join mass orgy stream sex beedio on Cam4. OD and die cock stand. Shiok!

[lohwpr]

It is more than just look and health....

 

It is also seeing your love ones leaving you and your friends dropping like flies.

 

You become more and more lonely. You keep talking to yourself, telling yourself to stay strong but in reality, you missed someone dearly and that empty void, regardless what u do, cannot be filled.

 

And because u love your better half dearly, you rather let him go first because you do not want him to go thru the suffering of not having you around. 

 

You learn to live alone. Eat alone, sleep alone, travel alone, even though u tired to engage yourself into many activities. Yoga, Church and etc. You still feel lonely. 

 

There are moments where u wonder what is the point of living......That is why many elderly have suicidal thoughts and some, succeeded in doing so. 

 

We need to live our life now, cherish our loves ones because we are all running out of time.

 

Argue and fight less, love more. 

 

Edited October 7, 2016 by lohwpr

[lonelyglobe]

one of the best writing here, very true indeed.......physical attributes can be improved through training or surgery....money can be earned and saved (no point earn but don't know how to save)...what is the most scary part is seeing those around you like falling soldiers, one by one fall before you.....your 10,000 facebook or line "virtual" friends properly wont be there for you, your married straight friend have children accompany and grand child to care for.....doing things alone in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond is going to take a different perspective, inner strength need to be strong and of course a healthy body which can achieved through diet and exercise.

[Guest]

No need to "cope" with ageing. Just embrace it.

 

Instead of mourning for the loss of youthful looks that nobody on Earth can reclaim, spend more time loving people that you care about and not just only yourself, life will be more fulfilling that way.

[Amir0412]

7 hours ago, Traveler3032 said:

Diet,  exercise are good anti aging measures.  But frankly,  you also need a well paying job and have financial security.  Then you have confidence and resources to attract guys!  Don't play too much when you're young.  Career is still important. 

It's how you look at yourself , lead your life and knowing that nobody can escape from being old.

 

Need a well pay job???

[Guest Fatty]

Be prepared to be out of job when you are replaced by cheaper better faster.

 

 

The 70% loves it.

[iamziz]

I have always believed do what makes you happy as long you are not hurting yourself and/or anyone, giving less or no fucks. You age better than stressing about everything that adds no value to your life - like worrying about people judging you. People will always judge no matter how good you are. You can't stop them. Let them have the fun doing that while you smile and walk away enjoying your life.

Edited October 8, 2016 by iamziz

[blowmenow]

On ‎10‎/‎7‎/‎2016 at 8:52 PM, Jonny_86 said:

No need to "cope" with ageing. Just embrace it.

 

Instead of mourning for the loss of youthful looks that nobody on Earth can reclaim, spend more time loving people that you care about and not just only yourself, life will be more fulfilling that way.

Sadly, its true that we cannot reclaim our youth... I know I hv to embrace it, easier said than done though.

I guess we just do our part with health care to delay the aging effect.. as I hv to swallow the painful pill then way people addressing me is different now... huhu...

[upshot]

On 07/10/2016 at 2:01 PM, Guest 7156 said:

 

"My external appearance and looks does not define me ."

 

Huh , I am dumbfounded.

 

 

 

I have no problem growing old... better that then being immaturely childish.

 

And my body does not define me. This is just an avatar I use for years.and I don't use BW as a pickup zone. And you think I look like what in this avatar of mine?  I use to have bigger biceps and thicker body but now a leaner slim me. What does that define???

 

I am being a little naughty and something I always see of myself on my own web cam in that same cam position (but lower down with legs spread open doing naught stuff from that chair on chaterbate or skype. If anything it define my naughty sexual exhibitionist. Not vanity or age.

 

 

 

Edited October 8, 2016 by upshot
after thought....

[upshot]

12 hours ago, blowmenow said:

Sadly, its true that we cannot reclaim our youth... I know I hv to embrace it, easier said than done though.

I guess we just do our part with health care to delay the aging effect.. as I hv to swallow the painful pill then way people addressing me is different now... huhu...

 

Priority is good health.. Being old and sick and loaded with medical bills is a worst nightmare in Singapore.

Edited October 9, 2016 by upshot

[blowmenow]

2 minutes ago, upshot said:

 

Priority is good healthy.. Being old and sick and loaded with medical bills is a worst nightmare in Singapore.

its same here in Malaysia, the boleh land! haha..

 

[Snapplejacked]

Just be thankful older men can still look somewhat attractive. Older women on the other hand...

[Guest Guest]

On ‎2016‎年‎10‎月‎7‎日 at 9:05 AM, Guest Clash said:

Getting older is part of life but you can fight it every step of the way. I am 44 and almost everyone who meets me for the first time says I look about 30. Facial wrinkles and sagging skin can be fought with facial creams and if necessary botox, white hair can be colored, eyes can be uplifted by smiling more and looking happy, chipped teeth can be repaired by dentists, bulging bellies can be tightened by going to the gym, and love handles can be removed by surgery if needed. Expensive? Yes! But either you accept getting older quietly or you fight it for as long as possible.

 

People should stop commenting that they are looking younger than their actual age. 

Show your picture!

[Guest Carpenter]

On 10/7/2016 at 7:55 PM, lohwpr said:

It is more than just look and health....

 

It is also seeing your love ones leaving you and your friends dropping like flies.

 

You become more and more lonely. You keep talking to yourself, telling yourself to stay strong but in reality, you missed someone dearly and that empty void, regardless what u do, cannot be filled.

 

And because u love your better half dearly, you rather let him go first because you do not want him to go thru the suffering of not having you around. 

 

You learn to live alone. Eat alone, sleep alone, travel alone, even though u tired to engage yourself into many activities. Yoga, Church and etc. You still feel lonely. 

 

There are moments where u wonder what is the point of living......That is why many elderly have suicidal thoughts and some, succeeded in doing so. 

 

We need to live our life now, cherish our loves ones because we are all running out of time.

 

Argue and fight less, love more. 

 

Agree!

 

What is worrying is not just the lost in physical shine, but what the doctor have to say about your, once in a blue moon, blood screening result and than you became part of old-age reality.   

 

You joined the regular patient club, waiting at the pharmaceutical counter, for your name to be called among other elderly folks. Thereafter, you wonder whether you have enough savings for those medicine, while the clinic register your next appointment date.

 

When you returned home, your routine lifestyle resume - clubbing, cruising or whatever, and you were being rejected by the young and restless.  You decided to do gym, jog, swim but you also tried to conceal those aging naked fat or bones, of yours from being exposed to the world.  You while away, in those days and decided to find some jobs to do, but were rejected by society for your age.  Each fruitless days, became month and than years....

 

You needed money, but your CPF was locked and each year they tried to increase your withdrawal age limit. You wished to migrate but financially you can't.  You wished this island has a suburb country, a small humble cottage, away from the govt intervention, for you to live frugally, but it was an impossible dream wish.  You ate humblly to save money for medicine and monthly subsistence. Eventually, mal-nutrition caused you to become weaker and weaker.  Climbing stairs became a chores, the lift elevator did not land on your same floor, because the govt said you didn't vote for their party. 

 

You felt pawned, agonised those young days when you tried to performed energetically, at the National parade square, before the VIP, climbing robes and running stairs in your uniform, everyone clabbed, but now....you are just a nobody.

 

Emptiness brought old memories, recalling how time flies when you were, once upon a time, a young cheerful boy, at the playground thru kindergarden, surrounded by those you loved praising you, and marvelled at your handsome look.  During school days, those wonderful adventure of being a wild youth, fishing, hiking, camping, the hate/love relationship right up to your NS gunho days, you shouted, screamed and did that very stun to impress and liked by your fellowmen. Than work, cruising, upgrading,  hobbying, and all sort of adult activities you've tried.

 

Now, all those dissappeared swiftly into thin air and left a cloud of uncertainties before your eyes.  You shook your head, gave a loud sigh.  You lifted yourself from your chair against your weak limp, with aching back, went to the kettle to pour yourself a cup of lukewarm water and pop in your medication. A tooth from your set denture turned loose and dropped out. No money to replace.  You wonder, after today, what is next tomorrow?

 

The the answer came, a phone rang, the caller was an old school mates, brought news that one of your classmate has passes on peacefully.  Another relative brought news that one of your favourite uncles, who dotted you the most, did not make it.  

 

Each stranger who crossed your path, with simple greeting, brought consolation. Most of the time you are very much alone.  You turned on an old-time soulful songs, those that brought memories from favourite movies or singers now gone, so as to recap your time with whoever in the past.    You wished there were someone, partner/companion, nearby,  so that such remaining journey need not have to be so painful and meaningless to bear.  You badly needed a human voice and touch (not the sexual one now) to give you that spiritual lift. Each time you went out, and returned home empty, you are  reminded that you are the only one remained on this planet, as if.  
 

How lonesome was that during fast aging?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[lohwpr]

http://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/more-seniors-in-singapore-taking-own-lives

 

Break my heart after reading this.........

 

"..............

While some of these seniors are single from the start, counsellors say many others struggle with adjusting to life after the death of their spouses.

But loneliness is a state of mind and can affect even those who live with family. Prof Chan's study showed that individuals who live alone or live with children are most likely to be lonely, but living with a spouse helps to stave off loneliness............."

Edited October 9, 2016 by lohwpr

[lohwpr]

On hindsight, I wonder if it is better to feel less for others and be more oblivious to the ppl around me. One may argue what is the point of living but if we think about it, you tend not to get hurt so easily. 

 

For a long time, I always envy some who can go out for a good meal by himself, watch a movie by himself, travel by himself and really be ok by himself. That he is emotionally less or not attached to someone and he is still able to live a fulfilling life at the same time. 

 

I love my BF v much and we have been together for 17 years. The thought of losing him is unthinkable. It has become v real now as we are both getting older. We talked about it but.....................

 

I don't know what to do without him. 

 

Other than cherishing each other now, I knew I am in for a very rough ride if he were to go before me. 

 

If God allows, we will go together. 

Edited October 9, 2016 by lohwpr

[Guest Teatree]

How to cope with aging?

 

The answer is here:

1.   Save more than enough money.  Money is your best companion in old age. 

2.   Stay physically healthy.  As long as you can walk and move around, nursing home is not ready for you. Go for holidays instead.

3.   Stay mentally healthy.  Meditation.  Aging is part of life process and nothing in life is permanent.