Wide Age Gap Relationship + R/ship Btw A Younger And Older Guy + Does Age Matters In A R/ship? (Compiled)

[Guest duck]

i recently 'got together' with this 19 year old who is 8 years younger than i am. while his thinking is rather sophisticated for his age and we share many common topics, i have this lingering feeling that he might grow up [go to uni, meet new people etc.] turning out to be rather different and cause our relationship to crumble. has anyone here dated younger guys with such a wide age gap? how has that worked out for you?

[Bily]

I never dated b4 , but I feel like age doesnt matter. I know eight years is a lot but if you guys really do love one another , why not?. Plus I think a reasonable age gap for me is below 10 years?

[Cube3]

I know of lovely couples with over 20 years age gap! Love knows no boundaries...

[Meneedyew]

i met my partner when i was in polytechnic, don’t worry, i was already 18 back then. we met online and he is 20 years older than me. older partners tend to sayang you more from what i observed. he’s willing to give in. although sometimes when he talks about his past (with his ex etc) or when i read his old bw posts, i do get jealous.

[SamTan]

My partner is 27 olders than me and when he shares with me his past experiences, I do get jealous as well.. well, if i’d meet him any younger i would he in primary school! Lol. All’s good for us now, and we are enjoying every moment of it. Age do play a small part but its not a big issue. Cheers

[LeanMature]

2 hours ago, Meneedyew said:

i met my partner when i was in polytechnic, don’t worry, i was already 18 back then. we met online and he is 20 years older than me. older partners tend to sayang you more from what i observed. he’s willing to give in. although sometimes when he talks about his past (with his ex etc) or when i read his old bw posts, i do get jealous.

 

What that you read made you jealous ?

[Guest bottom]

On 6/18/2018 at 3:59 PM, SamTan said:

My partner is 27 olders than me and when he shares with me his past experiences, I do get jealous as well.. well, if i’d meet him any younger i would he in primary school! Lol. All’s good for us now, and we are enjoying every moment of it. Age do play a small part but its not a big issue. Cheers

 

It is usually easier or acceptable for an older top to pair up with a young bottom but not the other way around....

[GachiMuchi]

 

What’s it like to be in a big age-gap relationship?

 

Gay men with partners significantly older or younger talk about their relationships

 

Sam Stanley and Laurence Hicks (Photo: Sam Stanley | Facebook)

 

9 November 2018    8:44 GMT

David Hudson

 

 

 

Why are people so curious about large age-gap relationships?

In the world of opposite-sex relationships, it’s not unusual to read about an older man married to a much younger woman. Look at… um, Donald and Melania Trump. When it’s the other way around, like with French President Emmanuel Macron and wife, Brigitte it prompts more comment.

When older and younger gay men get together, there can be assumptions about a wealth imbalance or power mismatch in the relationship. For example, when the actor, broadcaster and writer Stephen Fry married Elliot Spencer in 2015, eyebrows raised at their 30-year age difference.

Stephen Fry and husband Elliott Spencer in the music video for Tim Arnold’s What Love Would Want (Photo: YouTube)

Diver Tom Daley and screenwriter Dustin Lance Black are another couple who have been on the receiving end of bitchy comments over their 20-year age gap.

Rugby player Sam Stanley, now 27, came out in 2015. Besides being an openly gay player, many other gay guys were equally fascinated that he was in a long-term relationship with Laurence Hicks, who is 34 years older.

The two, who met eight years ago via the dating site silverdaddies.com, are planning to marry. Despite this, some accused Stanley of being a ‘gold-digger’, and Laurence of being a ‘perv’.

Given gay people have fought society’s notions of who they should fall in love with, there still exist ideals when it comes to partners, whether it’s in looks or age.

Martin and Yvan

Martin, 36, met his partner, Yvan, aged 56, via a gay dating website. They met a week later at a gay bar and Martin says it was ‘love at first sight.’

‘We went camping the next weekend, and it was clear that we found each other attractive, intellectually, emotionally and physically. The week after we decided to commit into a relationship.

‘I remember Yvan told me he was really concerned about the age gap at the beginning. From my part, I wasn’t concerned about it, as I was used to being in relationship with older men. I had only one relationship that the other one wasn’t older than at least 10 years. When I first had sex, I was only 17 years old, and the other one was 34.’

Yvan, two decades older than Martin, says he did have concerns at first.

‘I was afraid of generational conflicts and the difference of mentality and maturity; and also afraid of what others would think of it, would they think I am a sugar daddy, or that I’m out walking with my son.’

However, rather than any negative reaction, he says he received encouragement from those close to him.

‘All my friends and colleagues told me that I was stupid to stop myself from possibly having a good relationship because of the age.’

Martin and partner Yvan (Photo: Supplied)

‘We often joke that we have the same mental age’

Martin and Yvan have been together six years. They live in Montréal, Canada.

‘We often joke that we have the same mental age,’ says Martin. ‘I was, and still am, more mature than people of my age: calm, reserved. While Yvan looks younger than his age, and also his personality is younger than the same people of his age, always joking, cheerful.

‘Our relationship is the longest and the best I ever had; we had some downs, but the arguments we had were few and short.’

Martin says he’s had no negative reaction from friend and family to his relationship with Yvan.

With regard to those times when he’s more conscious of the age gap, Martin says it’s rare. However, ‘Yvan is retiring next year, and we shared some concern regarding this change of life. Most of our friends that already are retired said they were even more active than before, so I’m not specially concerned.

‘I know we have a good communication together and we will adapt as events will go on.’

For both Martin and Yvan, the age gap is not an issue.

‘No, the difference has never been a problem, because mentally Martin has a maturity of a 40-year-old.’

Jake and Ned

Jake, 25, is a recent college graduate in Newark, New Jersey. His partner, Ned, is 64 and retired. They met three years ago via Grindr. They do not currently live together.

‘At first we just wanted to hookup,’ Jake tells Gay Star News. ‘But eventually we started to click. We enjoyed each other’s presence and started going on dates. We became official after 3-4 months. I told him I loved him on the Staten Island ferry and he luckily felt the same way too. It’s been three years ever since and we are still together.’

Jake says he’s not exclusively attracted to older guys, and has dated men of all ages. However, both he and Ned had initial reservations over the age gap.

‘We both had doubts. I came out about a year before I met him and he was worried that because of my inexperience, my love for him would be finicky and short-lived.

‘Also, he was afraid that I might cheat on him with younger guys and possibly transmit an STD, which was why we used condoms during the beginning of our relationship.

‘Another reason was that since I was just starting my career, I would evidently move to another state and leave him. I promised him that I would take care of him, but he felt like he would be a burden to me.

‘As for me, I felt like I could not help him physically and financially. I was still saving up for a car while we dated! I also felt he should find someone closer to his age to relate to since he is much older and needs someone who will be close by and provide better companionship. Nonetheless, we gave it a shot and now we are three years strong.’

Family strife

Despite being committed to one another, Jake and Ned haven’t told their respective families about the age-gap between them.

‘Both of our families know we are dating but they have never seen us.

‘My immediate family knows I am gay but they are not quite accepting of it. They would rather just ignore it, which is fine with me. My brother is the only one who has met him and he is very supportive of my relationship.’

He says Ned’’s family are ‘not homophobic whatsoever.’ However, the age gap is another thing.

‘One of his nieces got into a relationship with a man four years older than her and most of the family was outraged, including his immediate family. Because of this, he is very hesitant about introducing me to his family.’

Are there times when you are more conscious of the age difference than at others?

‘Yes, especially during the beginning of our relationship. My boyfriend lives alone and most of his family live out of state. He could get physically injured one day and there won’t be anyone around to help him.

They are also both aware that at 64 years old, Ned is might face failing health or illness as he ages. Like Laurence Hicks, they also had concerns about Ned being questioned for his choice of partner.

‘I look younger than my age,’ says Jake. ‘There are times when [Ned] would be afraid the police might be called upon for possible pedophilia.’ This is despite the fact Jake was well over the age of consent when they met.

These concerns aside, generally, ‘Our age difference is a non-issue and very rarely comes up… except maybe during pop culture references.’

Bart and Ekachai

Finally, there’s husbands Bart and Ekachai. They live in Los Angeles, and there’s a 28-year age gap between them. Ekachai, 33, is originally from Thailand but emigrated as a teenager and is now a US citizen.

They met in 2003 via a gay dating website called Bigger City, and have been together ever since. They married in 2015.

Bart, 61, says he has always been attracted to younger guys. He has had previous relationships with men 5-10 years younger.

‘I didn’t see the age difference as a problem I have always felt my spirit or mentality was youthfully geared so dating younger guys was never an issue for me.’

Similarly, Ekachai had always been attracted to bigger, beefier guys who tended to be older.

‘Ekachai’s family being traditionally Thai was not as accepting’

Bart says they faced a varied reaction from their families to their relationship.

‘My family wasn’t too concerned about the age difference, they just wanted us to both be happy with our relationship.

‘Ekachai’s family being traditionally Thai was not as accepting but they’ve become accustomed to our relationship and eventual marriage.

‘Friends were for the most part supportive and encouraging for our relationship and for that we’re grateful.

‘When we first started dating I did have some concerns, primarily about communication,’ says Bart. ‘It was very vital to me that we were both on the same page when it came to all things concerning our relationship.

‘There was definitely a learning curve as I had not been involved with someone so much younger than myself.

‘But I found that Ekachai was very mature for his age and often we both found we shared the same views about topics that related to us both, so working through any issue was actually pretty easy.’

Photo: Sam Stanley | Facebook

Making it work

There’s an assumption that big age-gap relationships don’t work the same way as relationships between people similar in age. However, none of the men who spoke to Gay Star News confirmed this viewpoint.

In fact, difference in age aside, their relationships worked pretty much like any other relationship – although it obviously helps if your family are supportive.

All relationships take work and will have their ups and down. Bart’s advice for making age-gap relationships work is the same as one would offer any couple.

‘Always remember to listen and understand where your partner is coming from. You might be older or younger but that just means you have to be more open minded about it.

‘Make sure you communicate with each other openly and honestly. Put any issue each of you might have out on the table and deal with them so nothing can crop up later that could cause problems.’

And for those outside of such relationships, don’t make assumptions about them. After all, as we’re fond of telling the homophobes: Love is love.

Some names in this article have been changed.

 

[Steve5380]

I like that photo with Sam Stanley and Laurence Hicks  (first photo in the thread).

It shows how inclusive love can be.  The older man must be wonderful inside

and the fat belly is only a minor personal detail.

 

I have an acquaintance who looks identical to Hicks, who is much fun to be with.

He lives in Kuala Lumpur,  is wealthy with a nice partner in an open relationship including an adopted straight son,

and has tons of cute young Malays who are after him without any money involved!

[Guest guest]

Parasite and host relationship.

Parasitic co existance.

[Guest 2 cents]

Such relationship seems like father "adotping a son" with sex element included.  At least from outsider point of view,  whether there is genuine love only the couple know best.  Let's say from a scale of 1 to 10 (fake love to genuine love) can be tested.  If the elderly man is super rich, it tend to fall within the category of 1 - 5 if the young guy "likes" him. and if he is super broke, it tend to fall within category of 6 - 10 if the younger guys still loves him.   Financially aside, if the elderly guy is super handsome than probably it falls within the scale of 6 - 8 and may fall with each passing years.  The only relationship that can be considered genuine if both party already knew and stayed together for at least 15 years and above because fake love usually cannot stand the test of time.

[Guest InBangkok]

3 hours ago, Guest 2 cents said:

The only relationship that can be considered genuine if both party already knew and stayed together for at least 15 years and above because fake love usually cannot stand the test of time.

 

I think that's basically nonsense because it assumes that any relationship between younger and much older men lasting just a few years has to be based on something other than love. I know a guy who met his partner 14 years ago - so, yes, they almost fit the suggested criterion. The westerner was 61 when they met; the Thai guy 23. But money had nothing to do with the relationship that ensued. Indeed, with his own business, the younger was well able to look after himself. They entered into a civil partnership in London in 2008 after they had been together for 4 years. They then got married 4 years ago. Now the younger is considerably better off than his partner. Money has made absolutely no difference to them at all. The fact is they love each other now as much as they loved each other within the first new months.

 

I fully accept that many gay guys cannot understand why any young guy would seek a much older man to find love. So they assume it has to be a money-based relationship. I am certain in some cases it is. But for many couples it is not. All around the world there are younger guys seeking the genuine love and companionship of someone who is older - sometimes much older. We should all accept that each of us is different. And thank goodness for that!

[lovehandle]

i m sorry i felt that only other regions' Chinese will accept such relationship of a gap of 50yo , i truly felt China etc can accept

evenn though i frequent oldies' sauna , i find it challenging (that the partner is even older than my dad) too, i did qn can i accept it


btw, they r NOT rich hence this thing was exposed (view it) - cos i m worried many assumed they r rich

some cannot accept having sex with bit of chaolao, appeared old/ or with bit of wrinkles , puzzling why some saunas can exist

Wanna guess who is top or btm (dont give those kind of ans that we dont have to differentiate top or btms)?

it is beneficial to view this even if u r not into age-grp issue, can we have members who shared such info-documentary instead of discussing pregnant men?
discuss more on societal concerns eg budget and policies



e.g of local seemed so surprised that a malaysian (who is young and desirable) yet able to accept an old or chub, what is it so surprising?
there are also endless thread discussing why their frens accpeted a bf who is not at all good-looking?!

 

Edited March 17, 2019 by lovehandle

[lonelyglobe]

Unfortunately in this circle, physical aspects are still very crucial and therefore age, looks and built are still important factors to be considered, perhaps that is also the reason so many cant find the so-called the other half.

[Guest guest]

老牛吃嫩草，

 

老牛赚到了，

 

嫩 草 吃 大 亏，

 

又要为姥姥补阳气，姥姥是万年吸精妖魔，怎么喂也喂不饱的，

 

嫩草会被耗完精气， 面容与体质早衰，

 

还是找年龄相似的比较划算，

 

吃大亏哦， 

 

又是

 

黑发的送白发的  ，  极大多数是这样的。

[lovehandle]

11 minutes ago, lonelyglobe said:

Unfortunately in this circle, physical aspects are still very crucial and therefore age, looks and built are still important factors to be considered, perhaps that is also the reason so many cant find the so-called the other half.

yup! i agree

even when not finding the other half
they r so fussy already, i have to go thru a full body inspections answering tons of qns (although as a top, my dick easily passed his so-called non fussy primary test)
i failed in that round, i havent even complete the family-checking round etc (this is not for partnering and marriage hor the test)
which is why i m puzzled and terribly confused , the person strip me naked w tests is NOT younger than me , by the way (inn case many of u assumed, he must be a fresh meat and i m hankering him)


i truly wonder how many young boys in 20s would even allow the Old caucasian to touch them in the very first place? (be it in an open/brightly lit place or dark/sauna) 
from my experience with China/taiwan, they r really not too into that (the non-fussy ones) - of cos they do have statues w buttocks sticking on the wall 
my key opening word is they r not fussy - from that region

u can easily see that the young guy in that video is Highly learned and educated with his kind of flawless english!!!! He knows the regulations of other ctries too and he is so comfy w the english (i m sorry i have seen tons of msians working in service line , facing the wealthy in his line , tremble at speaking v simple english)

fresh meat in sg looks no diff from those in that region, the ONLY diffce is the mindset, sad to say!

and that has nothing to do w 老牛吃嫩草

in sg there r many oldies asking me too , just to suck regularly, but i dont want pp still visiting sauna yet passing germs to me 
plenty of cows in sg but problem is younger ones will not agrree to it in this region

[Guest Blank]

90% of the younger men are good looking ones and they just have to suck the old money dry without real true love. 

 

Let's be realistic: if the old man is poor, do you think they wanna be with him?

 

Truth hurts

[Guest - max -]

How big is "big gap"? I have first hand experience with dating guys much younger, up to 20 years difference.

And the thing is that they seem to like me more than I like them. It helps that I am accomplished in my career, and very importantly look very young for my age.

From the older guy's perspective,  I can pay for meals and outings without having to bait an eyelid. However the young guy must be at least able to show some appreciation. That is enough.

 

If you are the younger guy seeking the older guy, I have some tips for you. Listen to what the older guy has to say. We are older and are more caring. Imparting wisdom and knowledge is part of how we care. Appreciate the things the older guy does for you. It will help to keep them to continue to shower concern. Show some independence as if you are in a "partnership" with the older guy, and not a parasitic relationship. As least try to portray it that way. Older men go for  younger guys to feel young, so play along with it. 

 

Finally, beware of older guys. Yes. Beware. They have had a head start in life, and have been through more rounds of dramas. They will know how to outwit or dictate a situation. Please do your own assessment of whether the older guy is a gem to keep, or is just looking to fertilize another young bubble butt.

 

Just my two cents worth. Please disregard if they all sound nonsensical or offensive.

[cityhallguy]

I’m one of them and ready for the public comments (+/-)here lol.

Like some others here, I also had hard time to find the perfect or ideal partner and had some bad relationships too.

So as you grow older, you start to look at things in a different ways and so I started to drop my partner standard.

At the same time, I had spent more time on my career and to be financially independent. However, working in SG is really stressful and it is even worse when you were working with a Japanese company.You need to work long hours for overtime, to show that you are a hard working employee (Japanese working culture). Nevertheless, the company I worked with treat me well, the pay was very good and provided great benefits such as car, yearly pay increment and bonus (6mths). I was very grateful and happy for the first 2 years with the company, able to treat overseas holiday twice a year for myself, the company also sent me over to japan to work for couple of months every year and I enjoyed my time over there as I got to see my anime, manga, yaoi and experienced the gay culture. Yes, I’m single so when I travelled I can fool around and hookup with man easily but I felt lonely, I want to share my joy with someone special. I told my friends and families they didn’t understand why I had such a feeling as they were envied me with what I had.

Then later on, one of my regular lunch break hookup buddy (GWM) started to express interest on me when he was about to leave SG for good and he asked me to move over NZ and live with him. All along, we had never talk to each other much, only texting each other to meet for sex during lunch break that’s all, lol (Slut & Bitch). I took about 6months to think if I should move over and start a steady relationship with him. So the thought I had were, he’s look decent and pleasant, looks like he is in late 40s or early 50s (I was 35), different from all my ex-es, I also tired of my work, even though I can earn lots of money I’m still not happy (no work life balance), tired of SG and it’s society ways of looking at LGBTQ, etc....

Finally, agreed and we planned about how I moved over, so I decided to make a career switch to expand my knowledge horizontally by going back University to study and I got it in. I only know about my partner age (mid 50s) and some information about his financial when I was applying my student visa.Anyway, I resigned my job and moved over to NZ, living with my current partner now and still doing my study. I’m out with my families and most of my close friends, though some thought I crazy and some happy for my decision.

We have been together for about 3.5 years, we have our up and down same like others. We only know each other well when we live together. He is totally different from the past when he was just my regular hook up buddy and vice-versa for him too. I acknowledged there’s some age-gap issues but is minor, there are others problematic issues we have encountered like cultures, habit, behaviors, house rules, bed rules, cleanliness, etc.. So age-gap is really not a big deal to us. 

I think I’m not a gold digger, lol (let you guys judge bah, doesn’t matter to me). I paying my own university fees at international rates, my own daily expenses and our monthly household contribution. He take care and support our basics needs (house, water, food, power).

Last year, I just got my NZ resident permit, with the help of our friends and families support to prove our relationship, so can save some of my money as I be paying domestic fees for my university. 

So am I happy right now? Not really, I happy that I got a nice and great partner who can blend into my families and friends. I’m not happy that I’m running out of my own savings! I need to quickly finished my study and get a job fast! That’s all.

 

[lovehandle]

oh, i felt many have a bad judgement in gauging  a person's age

 

[Steve5380]

5 hours ago, Guest Blank said:

90% of the younger men are good looking ones and they just have to suck the old money dry without real true love. 

 

Let's be realistic: if the old man is poor, do you think they wanna be with him?

 

Truth hurts

 

You have a rather poor concept of older men.  "Truth hurts" at all ages.  We seniors have the EXPERIENCE.  Of course we know about young prostitutes.

 

5 hours ago, Guest - max - said:

 

If you are the younger guy seeking the older guy, I have some tips for you. Listen to what the older guy has to say. We are older and are more caring. Imparting wisdom and knowledge is part of how we care. Appreciate the things the older guy does for you. It will help to keep them to continue to shower concern. Show some independence as if you are in a "partnership" with the older guy, and not a parasitic relationship. As least try to portray it that way. Older men go for  younger guys to feel young, so play along with it. 

 

Finally, beware of older guys. Yes. Beware. They have had a head start in life, and have been through more rounds of dramas. They will know how to outwit or dictate a situation. Please do your own assessment of whether the older guy is a gem to keep, or is just looking to fertilize another young bubble butt.

 

 

I have to fully agree.

 

5 hours ago, cityhallguy said:

 

 So the thought I had were, he’s look decent and pleasant, looks like he is in late 40s or early 50s (I was 35), different from all my ex-es, I also tired of my work, even though I can earn lots of money I’m still not happy (no work life balance), tired of SG and it’s society ways of looking at LGBTQ, etc....

.....

I acknowledged there’s some age-gap issues but is minor, there are others problematic issues we have encountered like cultures, habit, behaviors, house rules, bed rules, cleanliness, etc.. So age-gap is really not a big deal to us. 

I think I’m not a gold digger, lol (let you guys judge bah, doesn’t matter to me). I paying my own university fees at international rates, my own daily expenses and our monthly household contribution. He take care and support our basics needs (house, water, food, power).

---

So am I happy right now? Not really, I happy that I got a nice and great partner who can blend into my families and friends. I’m not happy that I’m running out of my own savings! I need to quickly finished my study and get a job fast! That’s all.

 

 

You don't sound like a gold digger, haha!  And a 15 year age gap is no big deal.  He is probably very happy to have you as a partner. 

Don't feel bad if you have to relay on him for economical reasons.  As an older one, I can speculate that he may even be pleased to do it.

 

I found my ideal partner when I was starting my 50s, and he was 20 years younger.  We lived together for 21 years until he passed away last year due to illness. This was wrong, I should have died first, but I'm glad he didn't have to suffer the loss of his partner, which can be hard.  I was the one in strong financial position and I cared for him during his illness for more than half the time of our relationship.  I found out early that he was not a "gold digger" but his love was sincere.  Now I not only miss him, but also miss taking care of him.  He was a very spiritual guy and I had wondered if he didn't do some witchcraft to "catch" me.  If so,  I am thankful to witchcraft!

[lovehandle]

Initially they tot 8yr diffce is no big deal but.....: 

 

was surprised tyla sing quite well!!!!

:

[kimlo777]

I am 62 yo this year and had several relationships with men who are between 20 to 30 years younger than I am.  I play the bottom role in all these relationships so perhaps I could be termed as the older 'bitch'.  In all of these relationships, money had nothing to do with it.  They have all been affairs built on strong emotional foundation.  The sex was good too. Those who have been following my tracks would have read about my Thai boyfriend who is married with a beautiful family and is 20 years younger than I am.  Although he is from a mega-rich Thai family, I am no gold digger and we were happy while it remained an 'open relationship'.  Unfortunately it all ended when he started becoming more possessive and wanted an exclusive relationship which I was not ready for.  Currently I am free without any serious gay partner although I have started seeing a member of BW who is 31 years younger and we are enjoying the sex and each other's company.

[Guest Blank]

12 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

You have a rather poor concept of older men.  "Truth hurts" at all ages.  We seniors have the EXPERIENCE.  Of course we know about young prostitutes.

 

You don't believe 90% of the cases I've mentioned fall in that category of an older richer man in order to secure a young handsome man?

 

These days even a 30yo man has difficulty looking a basic bf, so I cannot comprehend how 'easy' it could be for a 50yo to be in the same quest yet the bf is good looking. 

 

My conception isn't poor on older men, and we have to be realistic. By giving a 10% buffer, I have been very very lenient. The actual might be <1% for those based on true love rather than a money relationship. 

[LeanMature]

The only issue with big age gap is sex.

[Guest bottom]

21 minutes ago, LeanMature said:

The only issue with big age gap is sex.

 

agree...esp if the older guy is the top and the younger is bottom..over time the top wont be able to perform like how he use to..thats when the problems starts unless have a open relationship...

[Guest I think]

1 hour ago, Guest bottom said:

 

agree...esp if the older guy is the top and the younger is bottom..over time the top wont be able to perform like how he use to..thats when the problems starts unless have a open relationship...

I disagree. Once the bottom ass became loose, the top will find another tight one. It has nothing to do with age.

[kimlo777]

whether the age gap is wide or not, the truth is nothing lasts forever.

[tomcat]

Haha, I am also one of them. My partner is 13 years older than me.

In some aspects, he is younger and more carefree than me. And in other aspects, i am matured and more decisive. but make no doubt he is a whiz at his job, and I am a regular working adult too.

I suppose when people are bored, they always want to sensationalise things. by the way, due to simple living, diet and exercise, my partner seems to stop aging at late thirties. i was also shocked by his age. together we do all the right things to prolong our health, and i also look about 10 years from my actual age of 36. during recent CNY, one of my dumb uncles asked me stupidly how old I am, 28, 29?, when his own son is a good 5 years younger than me. He was visibly shocked when i gave a "are you stupid" face, and said "I'll be 40 in 4 years".

sex-wise, we are in an open relationship for the past 4 or 5 years, and that is not really a big deal as we are both matured and open about finding other guys attractive. We are not possessive, even though we love and value each other. He is my partner for life, and we match on so many other aspects of life (health, lifestyle, finance, etc), that allowing him to express his physical nature makes me happy. I am glad that my partner is still hot enough to be f*ckable. 

by the way, he is a bottom. and i am a vers, who enjoys flip-f*cking, so i'm like the universal adaptor when we do find a cute guy to play with as a third.

i have shared all this before, any long time forum members will know nothing has changed, but everything i do share it, i do expect to be called many things by bittergourds and sourgrapes. but we are still here through it all, and we are still going strong into our 9th year together. 

if you are hater, bring on the hate. if you are a peaceful person, wish us many more years of love and peace. thank you!



 

[lonelyglobe]

Now need to define what is big age gap, some feel 10 years is big but actually if one look 5 years younger and the other look 5 years older and both are hot like fuck, then that is perfect match actually....but from the above pictures and example, there is really a huge age gap of 25 years and above, while one looks hot, the other really sorry to say that but cmi, such incidents really makes u wonder what are the younger guy thinking of?

[Guest disclosed yourself]

2 hours ago, tomcat said:

Haha, I am also one of them. My partner is 13 years older than me.

In some aspects, he is younger and more carefree than me. And in other aspects, i am matured and more decisive. but make no doubt he is a whiz at his job, and I am a regular working adult too.

I suppose when people are bored, they always want to sensationalise things. by the way, due to simple living, diet and exercise, my partner seems to stop aging at late thirties. i was also shocked by his age. together we do all the right things to prolong our health, and i also look about 10 years from my actual age of 36. during recent CNY, one of my dumb uncles asked me stupidly how old I am, 28, 29?, when his own son is a good 5 years younger than me. He was visibly shocked when i gave a "are you stupid" face, and said "I'll be 40 in 4 years".

sex-wise, we are in an open relationship for the past 4 or 5 years, and that is not really a big deal as we are both matured and open about finding other guys attractive. We are not possessive, even though we love and value each other. He is my partner for life, and we match on so many other aspects of life (health, lifestyle, finance, etc), that allowing him to express his physical nature makes me happy. I am glad that my partner is still hot enough to be f*ckable. 

by the way, he is a bottom. and i am a vers, who enjoys flip-f*cking, so i'm like the universal adaptor when we do find a cute guy to play with as a third.

i have shared all this before, any long time forum members will know nothing has changed, but everything i do share it, i do expect to be called many things by bittergourds and sourgrapes. but we are still here through it all, and we are still going strong into our 9th year together. 

if you are hater, bring on the hate. if you are a peaceful person, wish us many more years of love and peace. thank you!



 

 

We always wish everyone the best. It makes me proud that gay couples without some marriage bond manage to stick together for so many years.

In some countries the divorce rates of straights are outrageous, so I always look with respect to gay couples who stay together for long periods where there is nothing that hinders one of them to just run off.

Keep up healthy communication, that is the most important. Try not to fall into routine, that is a relationship killer no 2. usually the older you get the easier you learn to handle differences. But I know on a bad day something might slip out of our mouth and things start to sour for some while.

And most commonly, you can try as much as you want to bring differing characters together, but there will always be an area or issues.

It is the way to get back on track again, which shows respect to the other and openness to discuss differences.

Please give a good example in the next 50 years. Keep it up!

 

Once, when Singapore is ready for accepting gay couples, we need you to give the good example that it works is nothing much different to straight people.

 

 

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

Tohu noa ana koe, e Rangikiato, he whata kei te kakii.

[Guest Candy Cane]

I rather go for a 52yo good-looking guy than a 25yo ugly-looking  person.  Age is subjective.

[Steve5380]

10 hours ago, Guest Blank said:

 

You don't believe 90% of the cases I've mentioned fall in that category of an older richer man in order to secure a young handsome man?

 

These days even a 30yo man has difficulty looking a basic bf, so I cannot comprehend how 'easy' it could be for a 50yo to be in the same quest yet the bf is good looking. 

 

My conception isn't poor on older men, and we have to be realistic. By giving a 10% buffer, I have been very very lenient. The actual might be <1% for those based on true love rather than a money relationship. 

 

In this area, things are not all white or black.  The beauty of the young one is surely a contributor to the relationship, as is the money of the old one.  But they are not the totality of it in 90% of the cases.

[Guest Guest]

A 50yo TOP with a 30yo BTM partner seems normal.  But have u guys come across a 30yo TOP with 50yo BTM partner? 

[cityhallguy]

8 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

A 50yo TOP with a 30yo BTM partner seems normal.  But have u guys come across a 30yo TOP with 50yo BTM partner? 

Me!

[zephin]

16 hours ago, tomcat said:

Haha, I am also one of them. My partner is 13 years older than me.

In some aspects, he is younger and more carefree than me. And in other aspects, i am matured and more decisive. but make no doubt he is a whiz at his job, and I am a regular working adult too.

I suppose when people are bored, they always want to sensationalise things. by the way, due to simple living, diet and exercise, my partner seems to stop aging at late thirties. i was also shocked by his age. together we do all the right things to prolong our health, and i also look about 10 years from my actual age of 36. during recent CNY, one of my dumb uncles asked me stupidly how old I am, 28, 29?, when his own son is a good 5 years younger than me. He was visibly shocked when i gave a "are you stupid" face, and said "I'll be 40 in 4 years".

sex-wise, we are in an open relationship for the past 4 or 5 years, and that is not really a big deal as we are both matured and open about finding other guys attractive. We are not possessive, even though we love and value each other. He is my partner for life, and we match on so many other aspects of life (health, lifestyle, finance, etc), that allowing him to express his physical nature makes me happy. I am glad that my partner is still hot enough to be f*ckable. 

by the way, he is a bottom. and i am a vers, who enjoys flip-f*cking, so i'm like the universal adaptor when we do find a cute guy to play with as a third.

i have shared all this before, any long time forum members will know nothing has changed, but everything i do share it, i do expect to be called many things by bittergourds and sourgrapes. but we are still here through it all, and we are still going strong into our 9th year together. 

if you are hater, bring on the hate. if you are a peaceful person, wish us many more years of love and peace. thank you!



 

Wow. Good long term relationship :)  I'm more curious on what skin care you use to look 10 yrs younger XD

[kimlo777]

2 hours ago, cityhallguy said:

Me!

I am a 62yo bottom and am currently seeing a 31yo top.

[lovehandle]

@zephinLikely to b his genes

Edited March 19, 2019 by lovehandle

[lovehandle]

1 minute ago, kimlo777 said:

I am a 62yo bottom and am currently seeing a 31yo top.

Gd to shut many up

[Steve5380]

12 minutes ago, kimlo777 said:

I am a 62yo bottom and am currently seeing a 31yo top.

 

Congratulations to your 31 year gap relationship.

[Guest disclosed yourself]

33 minutes ago, zephin said:

Wow. Good long term relationship I'm more curious on what skin care you use to look 10 yrs younger XD

Fresh milk directly from the tap...

 

 

---------------------------

Ahakoa he iti he pounamu

[LeanMature]

35 minutes ago, kimlo777 said:

I am a 62yo bottom and am currently seeing a 31yo top.

 

Top daddy is in demand, bottom daddy is rare.  Congrats.

[Guest Honey]

If each dother happy age not a problem 

[tomcat]

11 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

A 50yo TOP with a 30yo BTM partner seems normal.  But have u guys come across a 30yo TOP with 50yo BTM partner? 

 

3 hours ago, cityhallguy said:

Me!

Me too! My primary role is top. it seems there are a lot of preconceptions and cliches. 
 

26 minutes ago, zephin said:

Wow. Good long term relationship :)  I'm more curious on what skin care you use to look 10 yrs younger XD

I wish there was such a miracle product, but unfortunately, it's more of lifestyle choices. We don't drink or smoke, and prefer filtered water or caffeine-free tea over juices, soft drinks etc. And lots of fresh veggies and foods. Cooking and meal prep also allows us to control what ingredients we incorporate. Hawker centre food can look deceivingly healthy.

One top tip for anti aging and general health:
Red meat and pork causes a lot of aging due to free radical damage. And the same modified or partially damaged cells can also give way to tumour growth, this is a little known medically proven fact. I suppose to release this info widespread will topple many food industries, so yes, shhhhhh. Also build up of animal toxins due to red meat consumption leads to a type of chronic body odour and really bad smelling sweat.

in terms of skincare, just sunscreen and general moisturisation. it's better to be oily than dry as we advance in age. 

[zephin]

13 minutes ago, tomcat said:

 

Me too! My primary role is top. it seems there are a lot of preconceptions and cliches. 
 

I wish there was such a miracle product, but unfortunately, it's more of lifestyle choices. We don't drink or smoke, and prefer filtered water or caffeine-free tea over juices, soft drinks etc. And lots of fresh veggies and foods. Cooking and meal prep also allows us to control what ingredients we incorporate. Hawker centre food can look deceivingly healthy.

One top tip for anti aging and general health:
Red meat and pork causes a lot of aging due to free radical damage. And the same modified or partially damaged cells can also give way to tumour growth, this is a little known medically proven fact. I suppose to release this info widespread will topple many food industries, so yes, shhhhhh. Also build up of animal toxins due to red meat consumption leads to a type of chronic body odour and really bad smelling sweat.

in terms of skincare, just sunscreen and general moisturisation. it's better to be oily than dry as we advance in age. 

Noted. This is my new bible XD. Which sunblock u use?

[tomcat]

9 minutes ago, zephin said:

Noted. This is my new bible XD. Which sunblock u use?

Best Option: Anessa Shiseido - SPF 50. Quality ingredients and there is a good range depending on your skin type.

Cheaper option: Sunplay - not bad for the price, good for daily wear and also when doing outdoor sports.

SPF count actually is not indicative of strength or power of protection, its a widely held misconception. 

 

SPF 35 doesn't mean it's weaker than SPF 50, but that the amount of time you can spend protected in the sun is lesser.

So you can buy accordingly to your daily needs, sun exposure.

 

[LeanMature]

47 minutes ago, tomcat said:

I wish there was such a miracle product, but unfortunately, it's more of lifestyle choices. We don't drink or smoke, and prefer filtered water or caffeine-free tea over juices, soft drinks etc. And lots of fresh veggies and foods. Cooking and meal prep also allows us to control what ingredients we incorporate. Hawker centre food can look deceivingly healthy.

One top tip for anti aging and general health:
Red meat and pork causes a lot of aging due to free radical damage. And the same modified or partially damaged cells can also give way to tumour growth, this is a little known medically proven fact. I suppose to release this info widespread will topple many food industries, so yes, shhhhhh. Also build up of animal toxins due to red meat consumption leads to a type of chronic body odour and really bad smelling sweat.

in terms of skincare, just sunscreen and general moisturisation. it's better to be oily than dry as we advance in age. 

 

This is 101 secret to youthful look.  Good advice.  The other two most important factors are exercise and sleep. 7 hrs minimum.

[tomcat]

19 minutes ago, LeanMature said:

 

This is 101 secret to youthful look.  Good advice.  The other two most important factors are exercise and sleep. 7 hrs minimum.

 
Yes, correct. Forgot to mention exercise, i think because it's already routine. sometimes i forget that people actually don't make time to exercise, thanks @LeanMature

we gym and swim on alternate days, with one rest day per week. workouts should be short, maximum 1.5 hours.

in terms of exercise, running is not advisable for those approaching in years or losing weight. wear out your joints faster, as well as repeated impact shocks to the face actually cause sagging. so we rely on swimming, cross-trainer, elliptical or rowing machine for cardio or warm up.

Sleep is the only one i am bad at, i clock about 4 to 5 hrs per night only. My partner sleeps a lot, maybe that is his real secret. When it comes to catching ZZZs,  avoid sleeping on your face, as that causes sagging and wrinkles too. This one our dermatologist friend told us and we realised that we are mostly flat sleepers, so i think this is a major tip actually.

Lastly, it's important to maintain a relatively stress free life. Don't get into petty fights, stop comparing yourself with others, consume and learn to live with less, keep a clean, clutter free home, streamline the important beneficial values you would like to nurture and let go of the rest.

One main top stress reliever: consider not having a TV. We haven't owned one since 2011, and it makes the home space much calmer, peaceful and stress-free. The worst you can do is to on or just stream drama, fighting, news outlets which are televising images of death, war and Donald Trump.

 

[cityhallguy]

5 hours ago, kimlo777 said:

I am a 62yo bottom and am currently seeing a 31yo top.

I’m 37 top and he’s 59 btm as mentioned before we together only for 3.5years so still consider green.

 

2 hours ago, LeanMature said:

 

This is 101 secret to youthful look.  Good advice.  The other two most important factors are exercise and sleep. 7 hrs minimum.

My dear, use expensive products (Lamer) to maintain his facial skin while I am using water. I bless with good genes though the skins on my legs  are kind of dry because I don’t drink enough water.

 

My partner is also an OCD, initially I can’t get use to it. Then slowly I gave up things I normally will do, by letting him to do how he wants to do. So eventually, he is the one do most of the household works, because he’s so perfectionist.

For example, such as the colors of our bedsheet, blankets, cushions, pillow cases and throw have to suit to the colors of the room, which I will never bother to spend time doing colors matching for such things. We ended up shopping for three days to satisfy his color coding of our bedsheets, cushion, pillow case and rugs. I can wash my own clothings but I can’t wash his clothings, because he got his own way of separating different fabrics, colors and quality, whereas I only do separate between colors and white clothing and between expensive and normal clothing.

 

There are things I learnt from my partner, such as making our bed nicely like the IKEA furniture display. Back in SG, living with my parents, though I have my own bedroom, I never sleep on a bed. I only had mattress on the floor, tow pillows, a booster and a blanket, that’s it. I don’t care about the colors and once I woke up, I just fold the blanket nicely and placed it on the bottom of my pillows which were stacked up on the mattress and the booster just put at a side. Once moved living with my partner, I learnt how to make up our bed by following how he wants the pillows, cushions, blankets and the throw to be displayed although something he re arrange the throw or the cushions that I lay on once I’m out of the room. I remembered one time, I follow the trend of that “Karate Chop” on the cushions, he not happy with it, said it was “Tacky” and asked me not to do it again. 

 

Of course, there are problems from my side too, like inherited my mum’s superstitious and habits. Like table clothes are not to be used to wipe anything on the floor even if just a coffee spillover, food are not supposed to be placed on the chair and packing the groceries, detergent, powder or soap etc. should not put into the same bag with food.

But for him, all these things are not a problem at all, he doesn’t mind or pay attention to it, unlike me.

 

Sex wise, we have to agree that some men as the grow older their sex drive/urge decrease. Not sure if that apply to my dear but we hardly have any sex after 2.5years. Communication is important in a relationships, we discussed about it and he understands I have more needs than him. So I can be naughty as long as I keep it to myself, he doesn’t know and it doesn’t affect our relationship. His most worry is I keep hooking up the same person and eventually gone out of control. However, most of the time, my hands are my best sex buddy, LOL.

So Is pretty hard to go and find fun without letting my dear know, as where ever I go, I need to let him know where am I going and who I going out with, this is for my safety and for him to have a peace of mind. The only opportunity that I can jolly well enjoy to go fill my sex needs is when we go on overseas holiday. Like last year, we went to Spain, I just told him I going to explore the gay sauna, and ask if is ok for him and he replied ok but need to know what time I’m back. He ok with that because we are in an overseas country  for a few days, and no ways in that few days I will gone out of control that I will elope with a guy, lol.

 

So far, what helps to keep my relationship strong with my dear, I have to thanks to all my ex-es. I just need to remember how my ex-es treated me before (bad treatments) and what mistakes you had made before with your ex-es, help me to treasure my dear. Even though once a while we may have a big fight, just thinking of how my dear is so much better than my ex-es makes me forget all the stupid arguments that we had. I also don’t like to go through all the dating hassles again. In addition, my parents likes him, my niece enjoy playing with him so you really can’t complain much about except sometimes I will still whine to my friends about him but who doesn’t do? Lol.

Edited March 19, 2019 by cityhallguy

[Guest interested]

21 minutes ago, cityhallguy said:

I’m 37 top and he’s 59 btm as mentioned before we together only for 3.5years so still consider green.

 

My dear, use expensive products (Lamer) to maintain his facial skin while I am using water. I bless with good genes though the skins on my legs  are kind of dry because I don’t drink enough water.

 

My partner is also an OCD, initially I can’t get use to it. Then slowly I gave up things I normally will do, by letting him to do how he wants to do. So eventually, he is the one do most of the household works, because he’s so perfectionist.

For example, such as the colors of our bedsheet, blankets, cushions, pillow cases and throw have to suit to the colors of the room, which I will never bother to spend time doing colors matching for such things. We ended up shopping for three days to satisfy his color coding of our bedsheets, cushion, pillow case and rugs. I can wash my own clothings but I can’t wash his clothings, because he got his own way of separating different fabrics, colors and quality, whereas I only do separate between colors and white clothing and between expensive and normal clothing.

 

Of course, there are things I learnt from my partner, such as making our bed nicely like the IKEA furniture display. Back in SG, living with my parents, though I have my own bedroom, I never sleep on a bed. I only had mattress on the floor, tow pillows, a booster and a blanket, that’s it. I don’t care about the colors and once I woke up, I just fold the blanket nicely and placed it on the bottom of my pillows which were stacked up on the mattress and the booster just put at a side. Once moved living with my partner, I learnt how to make up our bed by following how he wants the pillows, cushions, blankets and the throw to be displayed although something he re arrange the throw or the cushions that I lay on once I’m out of the room. I remembered one time, I follow the trend of that “Karate Chop” on the cushions, he not happy with it, said it was “Tacky” and asked me not to do it again. 

 

the difference between a top and a bottom is so glaring clear here..hahaha