Wide Age Gap Relationship + R/ship Btw A Younger And Older Guy + Does Age Matters In A R/ship? (Compiled)

[LeanMature]

27 minutes ago, cityhallguy said:

I’m 37 top and he’s 59 btm as mentioned before we together only for 3.5years so still consider green.

 

My dear, use expensive products (Lamer) to maintain his facial skin while I am using water. I bless with good genes though the skins on my legs  are kind of dry because I don’t drink enough water.

 

My partner is also an OCD, initially I can’t get use to it. Then slowly I gave up things I normally will do, by letting him to do how he wants to do. So eventually, he is the one do most of the household works, because he’s so perfectionist.

For example, such as the colors of our bedsheet, blankets, cushions, pillow cases and throw have to suit to the colors of the room, which I will never bother to spend time doing colors matching for such things. We ended up shopping for three days to satisfy his color coding of our bedsheets, cushion, pillow case and rugs. I can wash my own clothings but I can’t wash his clothings, because he got his own way of separating different fabrics, colors and quality, whereas I only do separate between colors and white clothing and between expensive and normal clothing.

 

Of course, there are things I learnt from my partner, such as making our bed nicely like the IKEA furniture display. Back in SG, living with my parents, though I have my own bedroom, I never sleep on a bed. I only had mattress on the floor, tow pillows, a booster and a blanket, that’s it. I don’t care about the colors and once I woke up, I just fold the blanket nicely and placed it on the bottom of my pillows which were stacked up on the mattress and the booster just put at a side. Once moved living with my partner, I learnt how to make up our bed by following how he wants the pillows, cushions, blankets and the throw to be displayed although something he re arrange the throw or the cushions that I lay on once I’m out of the room. I remembered one time, I follow the trend of that “Karate Chop” on the cushions, he not happy with it, said it was “Tacky” and asked me not to do it again. 

 

Your old man needs to maintain his look to be compatible, since there is a 22 years age gap in between.  It's good too that he has an understanding partner who let him call the shot in the daily running of the household.  I think it is not easy living with an OCD.  

[cityhallguy]

7 minutes ago, LeanMature said:

 

Your old man needs to maintain his look to be compatible, since there is a 22 years age gap in between.  It's good too that he has an understanding partner who let him call the shot in the daily running of the household.  I think it is not easy living with an OCD.  

 

Is not easy for him to live with me too, lol. Sometimes or most of the times, I often assume he knows what I would like or my preference but sadly to say he fails to do so. For example, Valentine day, normally people know it is an important day for a couple but he thought I not that type of person who will celebrate because I don’t celebrate my birthday. So last year he chose that day for us to fly back SG for CNY, I take it as ok, no choice as attending my family reunion dinner is more important. Then this year he arranged a gathering dinner with his friends because I didn’t say anything about it last year. I bit pissed off and asked him if he knows that day was Valentine’s Day  and he said first year we celebrate but second year we didn’t so he took it as I not interested to celebrate and he will always remind me that he doesn’t have the telepathy ability to read my mind, LOL. Serve me right !!! So communication is really important.

[Guest chi-dude]

1 minute ago, cityhallguy said:

 

Is not easy for him to live with me too, lol. Sometimes or most of the times, I often assume he knows what I would like or my preference but sadly to say he fails to do so. For example, Valentine day, normally people know it is an important day for a couple but he thought I not that type of person who will celebrate because I don’t celebrate my birthday. So last year he chose that day for us to fly back SG for CNY, I take it as ok, no choice as attending my family reunion dinner is more important. Then this year he arranged a gathering dinner with his friends because I didn’t say anything about it last year. I bit pissed off and asked him if he knows that day was Valentine’s Day  and he said first year we celebrate but second year we didn’t so he took it as I not interested to celebrate and he will always remind me that he doesn’t have the telepathy ability to read my mind, LOL. Serve me right !!! So communication is really important.

 

are you generally attracted to older bottoms? was this something you knew from young?

[cityhallguy]

20 minutes ago, Guest chi-dude said:

 

are you generally attracted to older bottoms? was this something you knew from young?

Yes, somehow I don’t know why I’m able to convert or meet older non-Chinese man to be btm for me. 

Not sure if that is something I knew off, but I guess is my past experiences. When I came out, I always hook up with older man and prefer with older man. Hugely, because I got a very bad experience with younger guy or guy at my age during my 20s and there’s nothing to do with lacking of father love. 

[Guest chi-dude]

2 minutes ago, cityhallguy said:

Yes, somehow I don’t know why I’m able to convert or meet older non-Chinese man to be btm for me. 

Not sure if that is something I knew off, but I guess is my past experiences. When I came out, I always hook up with older man and prefer with older man. Hugely, because I got a very bad experience with younger guy or guy at my age during my 20s and there’s nothing to do with lacking of father love. 

 

nice...so older bottoms dont intimidate you?..do you take the more dominating role of a top or its very much equal which i doubt coz usually tops in some aspect do tend to be more dominating by nature..

[G_M]

I've decided to merge the old and new similar topics together so that members can see previous questions and replies.

[cityhallguy]

26 minutes ago, Guest chi-dude said:

 

nice...so older bottoms dont intimidate you?..do you take the more dominating role of a top or its very much equal which i doubt coz usually tops in some aspect do tend to be more dominating by nature..

 Not at all, the older bottoms I had and have are straight acting looking man and some were married or divorced. So when I’m top them, I feel enjoyable (honestly, I don’t know how to describe the feelings are like but is all good). I’m more a rough top and is quite dominate when come to intercourse, I decide the position, speed and intensity. I sometimes can be an asshole acting like the porn star in the movie,  sayings some cheeky lines like while in action, “ Is that what you want?”, “ You like it harder”, “ You want me to stop or go deeply?” I remembered I caused one of my ex-es to hospital because he got a hip joint pain, one day after our sex.

Dont mind sharing with you more, on the other hand, when come to the initiate foreplay, I’m more a btm than a top, so I please the other party first, till his gate is ready to be opened for me then I switch over my role (Top).

 

 

 

[Guest disclosed yourself]

The interest in an older guy is maybe the feeling of comfort to be with someone who is somehow settled in his personality. sure not everyone but probably most.

 

And it is nothing uncommon in the straight world, therefore a wide age gap is nothing explicit of the gay world.

 

I personally feel pity for a very much younger guy (any age gap exceeding 10/ 15 years), because the younger one will be left behind one day and this in an age where he most probably will not find any suitable new partner, as he reached an age which is not considered attractive anymore. Sure, it can happen the other way around, accident, cancer and other reasons, that the younger partner dies earlier, but the probability that the older partner will die first is much higher.

 

I think the most healthy age gap might be around 5 years.

 

But nobody is here to judge, we can't judge preferences and should not control them.

Everybody should live the life he feels happy with.

 

 

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ma whero ma pango ka oti ai te mahi.

[cityhallguy]

Haha... I’m gonna be lamed.

Remember the old watch advertisement by Andy Lau?

The slogan or phrase was

“ 不在乎天長地久，只在乎曾經擁有“。

But of course, the lens you put on is right too, just different people looking at things differently.

A part of me inside, also have the same view as you, thus to be independent not just financially, but physically, mentally and emotionally are important too, to prepared myself for that day to come. 

I know what I sign for and the consequences and hope same for others, so don’t regret or complain later, lol....

 

[fab]

1 hour ago, cityhallguy said:

Haha... I’m gonna be lamed.

Remember the old watch advertisement by Andy Lau?

The slogan or phrase was

“ 不在乎天長地久，只在乎曾經擁有“。

But of course, the lens you put on is right too, just different people looking at things differently.

A part of me inside, also have the same view as you, thus to be independent not just financially, but physically, mentally and emotionally are important too, to prepared myself for that day to come. 

I know what I sign for and the consequences and hope same for others, so don’t regret or complain later, lol....

 

 

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=%23&ved=2ahUKEwi41ojno47hAhVJMo8KHYatBMQQwqsBMAF6BAgBEAg&usg=AOvVaw0VTJzWxrN8ZFOD4xbU2nov

 

It's chow yun fatt actually.

[Steve5380]

4 hours ago, Guest disclosed yourself said:

 

I personally feel pity for a very much younger guy (any age gap exceeding 10/ 15 years), because the younger one will be left behind one day and this in an age where he most probably will not find any suitable new partner, as he reached an age which is not considered attractive anymore. Sure, it can happen the other way around, accident, cancer and other reasons, that the younger partner dies earlier, but the probability that the older partner will die first is much higher.

 

 

It happened "the other way around" to me,  I recently lost my partner, 20 years younger, which I had met 22 years ago.  When we met I was beginning the 50s and now I am in my 70s.

I am not the same today as I was 22 years ago.  But then, I'm not too different either.  I have not experienced a total devaluation but still have plenty left, and I plan to make good use of it. 

[GachiMuchi]

9 hours ago, cityhallguy said:

 Not at all, the older bottoms I had and have are straight acting looking man and some were married or divorced. So when I’m top them, I feel enjoyable (honestly, I don’t know how to describe the feelings are like but is all good). I’m more a rough top and is quite dominate when come to intercourse, I decide the position, speed and intensity. I sometimes can be an asshole acting like the porn star in the movie,  sayings some cheeky lines like while in action, “ Is that what you want?”, “ You like it harder”, “ You want me to stop or go deeply?” I remembered I caused one of my ex-es to hospital because he got a hip joint pain, one day after our sex.

Dont mind sharing with you more, on the other hand, when come to the initiate foreplay, I’m more a btm than a top, so I please the other party first, till his gate is ready to be opened for me then I switch over my role (Top).

 

 

I always thought you are mild mannered like Clark Kent. Didn't know you can so 'hiong' one. Haha, Like they say. 男人不坏。。同志不爱。。。

[cityhallguy]

2 hours ago, GachiMuchi said:

 

I always thought you are mild mannered like Clark Kent. Didn't know you can so 'hiong' one. Haha, Like they say. 男人不坏。。同志不爱。。。

 

Haha... Time, environment and experience change me bah like watch too much porn and often met guys who prefer me to cocktease them bah. 

[LeanMature]

16 hours ago, cityhallguy said:

 Not at all, the older bottoms I had and have are straight acting looking man and some were married or divorced. So when I’m top them, I feel enjoyable (honestly, I don’t know how to describe the feelings are like but is all good). I’m more a rough top and is quite dominate when come to intercourse, I decide the position, speed and intensity. I sometimes can be an asshole acting like the porn star in the movie,  sayings some cheeky lines like while in action, “ Is that what you want?”, “ You like it harder”, “ You want me to stop or go deeply?” I remembered I caused one of my ex-es to hospital because he got a hip joint pain, one day after our sex.

Dont mind sharing with you more, on the other hand, when come to the initiate foreplay, I’m more a btm than a top, so I please the other party first, till his gate is ready to be opened for me then I switch over my role (Top).

 

 

 

 

So this is very refreshing, not the usual younger bottom seeking sugar daddy edition.  

[tomcat]

On 3/18/2019 at 8:15 PM, Guest disclosed yourself said:

 

In some countries the divorce rates of straights are outrageous, so I always look with respect to gay couples who stay together for long periods where there is nothing that hinders one of them to just run off.
 

Keep up healthy communication, that is the most important. Try not to fall into routine, that is a relationship killer no 2. usually the older you get the easier you learn to handle differences. But I know on a bad day something might slip out of our mouth and things start to sour for some while.

And most commonly, you can try as much as you want to bring differing characters together, but there will always be an area or issues.

It is the way to get back on track again, which shows respect to the other and openness to discuss differences.

Please give a good example in the next 50 years. Keep it up!

 

Once, when Singapore is ready for accepting gay couples, we need you to give the good example that it works is nothing much different to straight people.

Ah, thank you - i kind of missed this response. 

Yeah, we realised early on that there is nothing to show for in a gay relationship...No marriage cert, no BTO, no children, nothing except  the promises one makes to the other.  It does simplify,  but it also makes a gay r/s all the more delicate and fragile. maybe this is why they tend to break apart and not be able to stand the test of time. because it is easy to forget, neglect and break a promise.

The promise we made to each other is just to create a simple love. No lies, no secrets, whatever is on his mind is my concern and vice versa. We circumvent problems of expectations by avoiding making promises like, "I will love you forever and ever" and the like. We know from experience that those promises are best uttered to yourself, and then shown to your loved one.  So in that respect, we are not those cheesy lovey dovey couples, but we are steadfast partners in the life we build together, the small things we do for each other are the most meaningful and most cherished.

So actually to be contrary, the rhythm of our life together or the routine is something that we are actually very grateful for. The stability, security and streamlining of both our time, resources and energy is exactly what makes the partnership work. We are two driven people who upon coming together become stronger and faster, working towards a common goal together. So I appreciate and am grateful for sharing that goal with him, and his continued drive - as mine.

Part of creating a simple love, also means that we are open to communicate how we are changing ourselves (emotionally, mentally, sexually etc). The element of true unconditional love comes in when one loves the other even when he is changing, this rings true in all r/s that i have seen. one will accommodate and change with the other, and always from a place of gratefulness and thanks. this alone has seen us through many situations that would leave other relationships broken and tattered. 

In terms of gay representation, I think more types of gay people need to come out - so the world knows that there are as many types of gay people as there are straight. Not every gay person is a cliched limp wristed fashion-obsessed, or muscle mary hooked on drugs and circuit parties. There needs to be more duality and diversity in what a gay person looks like, before the rest of the world can even come to the idea that "oh wow, they are just like us!"

 

 

[Andrew Tee]

After being single for more than 10 years. I recently have this special feeling for a guy in his twenties. I am 42 this year. Went on trip with him last weekend. He was in open relationship with 2 guys previously but just broke off recently.  I initially thought of proposing to him during the trip but it did not happen. The first night he told me he was having a body ache and when I asked him if he wants a massage he rejected and he ended up looking for a MB.  The next day I wanted to celebrate his birthday for him and also got rejected. He told me he only want to celebrate birthday with people that he want.  I did manage to give him a massage on the second night as he got attracted by the smell of the massage oil I brought with me to trip. ( I do good massage. Haha) The rest of the trip we chatted alot. He told me his stories, his ex, his flings... We shared food, he help me carry my language etc.  I think one of the main reason he rejected me was because of the age difference.  I didn't show him any bad emotion through out the trip but my heart is aching.  

 

My conclusion is age does matters. I don't think young guys would want to settle down with older guys.  

[Steve5380]

40 minutes ago, Andrew Tee said:

After being single for more than 10 years. I recently have this special feeling for a guy in his twenties. I am 42 this year. Went on trip with him last weekend. He was in open relationship with 2 guys previously but just broke off recently.  I initially thought of proposing to him during the trip but it did not happen. The first night he told me he was having a body ache and when I asked him if he wants a massage he rejected and he ended up looking for a MB.  The next day I wanted to celebrate his birthday for him and also got rejected. He told me he only want to celebrate birthday with people that he want.  I did manage to give him a massage on the second night as he got attracted by the smell of the massage oil I brought with me to trip. ( I do good massage. Haha) The rest of the trip we chatted alot. He told me his stories, his ex, his flings... We shared food, he help me carry my language etc.  I think one of the main reason he rejected me was because of the age difference.  I didn't show him any bad emotion through out the trip but my heart is aching.  

 

My conclusion is age does matters. I don't think young guys would want to settle down with older guys.  

 

Don't get discouraged.  20 years is not an excessive age difference.  But very young people may not have much appreciation for older ones.  You will have more luck in your 50s with someone in his 30s.  By then he will not be at the top of the world anymore but will have learned some life lessons.  And if you take care of yourself you can be very desirable in your 40s.

[kimlo777]

10 hours ago, Andrew Tee said:

After being single for more than 10 years. I recently have this special feeling for a guy in his twenties. I am 42 this year. Went on trip with him last weekend. He was in open relationship with 2 guys previously but just broke off recently.  I initially thought of proposing to him during the trip but it did not happen. The first night he told me he was having a body ache and when I asked him if he wants a massage he rejected and he ended up looking for a MB.  The next day I wanted to celebrate his birthday for him and also got rejected. He told me he only want to celebrate birthday with people that he want.  I did manage to give him a massage on the second night as he got attracted by the smell of the massage oil I brought with me to trip. ( I do good massage. Haha) The rest of the trip we chatted alot. He told me his stories, his ex, his flings... We shared food, he help me carry my language etc.  I think one of the main reason he rejected me was because of the age difference.  I didn't show him any bad emotion through out the trip but my heart is aching.  

 

My conclusion is age does matters. I don't think young guys would want to settle down with older guys.  

To  many age does matter but there will always be someone for everyone.  One day you might just meet someone who doesn't mind the age gap.  I won't say I am in a relationship but I am seeing someone who is exactly half my age (I am 62 this year) and we chat online frequently expressing how much we miss each other.  We look forward to seeing each other and hugging and kissing.

[LeanMature]

10 hours ago, Andrew Tee said:

After being single for more than 10 years. I recently have this special feeling for a guy in his twenties. I am 42 this year. Went on trip with him last weekend. He was in open relationship with 2 guys previously but just broke off recently.  I initially thought of proposing to him during the trip but it did not happen. The first night he told me he was having a body ache and when I asked him if he wants a massage he rejected and he ended up looking for a MB.  The next day I wanted to celebrate his birthday for him and also got rejected. He told me he only want to celebrate birthday with people that he want.  I did manage to give him a massage on the second night as he got attracted by the smell of the massage oil I brought with me to trip. ( I do good massage. Haha) The rest of the trip we chatted alot. He told me his stories, his ex, his flings... We shared food, he help me carry my language etc.  I think one of the main reason he rejected me was because of the age difference.  I didn't show him any bad emotion through out the trip but my heart is aching.  

 

My conclusion is age does matters. I don't think young guys would want to settle down with older guys.  

 

He treated you as a friend and companion. So if you treasure this friendship, leave it this way.  Most young guys seek is "fatherly love and attention" due to the lack of it from their biological father.  Very few really want a partner with 20 or 30 years age gap.

[tomcat]

10 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

You will have more luck in your 50s with someone in his 30s. 

 

11 hours ago, Andrew Tee said:

My conclusion is age does matters. I don't think young guys would want to settle down with older guys.  

Agree completely with this - the boy is still young, he still wants to play. 

A bigger question I'd like to broach is for those older always seeking young, does this also become an inverse prejudice against guys of their own age? 

I had met a guy who said he will only date 25 year olds. He was late 30s at the time. At 40, 50, 60, 70, if he still dates only 25 year olds, for me, that shows a retardation of his sexuality. It's not so much a preference anymore, it is a cage and a sign that he is stuck in a kind of psychological rut.

That chances are, as we all know, is that 25 year olds have very little reason to stick to an older man outside of the creature comforts the latter is able to provide. That is not a true love connection - which for me, should transcend age, and is some ways the crux of many of the healthy successful relationships shared in the thread.

 

[Steve5380]

1 hour ago, tomcat said:

A bigger question I'd like to broach is for those older always seeking young, does this also become an inverse prejudice against guys of their own age? 

I had met a guy who said he will only date 25 year olds. He was late 30s at the time. At 40, 50, 60, 70, if he still dates only 25 year olds, for me, that shows a retardation of his sexuality. It's not so much a preference anymore, it is a cage and a sign that he is stuck in a kind of psychological rut.
 

 

This can be confronted with another question:  is "inverse prejudice" a strong tag for what is "lack of interest"?   If so, do we gays have "prejudice" against women?

 

I also find it strange that attractive population remains the same at 30, 40, 50....70.    In my experience, the older one gets, the older are the guys one feels attractive.

[tomcat]

15 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

This can be confronted with another question:  is "inverse prejudice" a strong tag for what is "lack of interest"?   If so, do we gays have "prejudice" against women?

 

I also find it strange that attractive population remains the same at 30, 40, 50....70.    In my experience, the older one gets, the older are the guys one feels attractive.

I don't think they are equatable.

A lack of interest is pretty straightforward, not feeling anything about something - an absence of caring for or about it. But prejudice, inverse or otherwise, conjures a reactionary awareness of the abject repulsion towards something - which is then often manifested through action itself.

One is passive, the other is quite active, in that it can inform decisions, actions, thought processes. the former is just what we say here "anything also can lor, dont really care". 

Not quite getting the second paragraph there. But I do know some out and proud people who proclaim they will never date beyond an age group, despite their own incrementing age. Can see this very often in Grindr too, and I do wonder:

"what happened to you? who hurt you?" haha

Edited April 18, 2019 by tomcat

[LeanMature]

8 minutes ago, tomcat said:

I don't think they are equatable.

A lack of interest is pretty straightforward, not feeling anything about something - an absence of caring for or about it. But prejudice, inverse or otherwise, conjures a reactionary awareness of the abject repulsion towards something - which is then often manifested through action itself.

One is passive, the other is quite active, in that it can inform decisions, actions, thought processes. the former is just what we say here "anything also can lor, dont really care". 

Not quite getting the second paragraph there. But I do know some out and proud people who proclaim they will never date beyond an age group, despite their own incrementing age. Can see this very often in Grindr too, and I do wonder:

"what happened to you? who hurt you?" haha

 

Got to be realistic and adjust expectation as you ages.  

[Steve5380]

14 minutes ago, tomcat said:

A lack of interest is pretty straightforward, not feeling anything about something - an absence of caring for or about it. But prejudice, inverse or otherwise, conjures a reactionary awareness of the abject repulsion towards something - which is then often manifested through action itself.

One is passive, the other is quite active, in that it can inform decisions, actions, thought processes. the former is just what we say here "anything also can lor, dont really care". 
 

 

LOL!  I might be a villain in your eyes.  I would not have sex with a typical 50+, and very few 60+.  But I have no problems with younger guys. Is this prejudice?  I like to socialize with older people of both genders.  But the only old guy I consider for sex is... me!  

[tomcat]

44 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

LOL!  I might be a villain in your eyes.  I would not have sex with a typical 50+, and very few 60+.  But I have no problems with younger guys. Is this prejudice?  I like to socialize with older people of both genders.  But the only old guy I consider for sex is... me!  

nolah, by no means a villain haha.

but if i were to find myself in a similar position, i think it does beg closer self-examination. like why is it so? and if i do feel very strongly about it, why? and where does it stem from?

It is nothing threatening at all, but it can perceived as such, as a lot of our identity is wrapped up in our choices, beliefs and prejudices. rather, it would say it is about imploring within to understand one's self better. usually there is a reason, long embedded within us, but forgotten.

[Guest Random]

21 this year. Apart from guys near my age, I also get turned on by 30+ guys who are matured, fit & manly. Wearing executive attire kind. 40+ onwards nope because age gap is too huge for me. 

[Steve5380]

8 hours ago, tomcat said:

nolah, by no means a villain haha.

but if i were to find myself in a similar position, i think it does beg closer self-examination. like why is it so? and if i do feel very strongly about it, why? and where does it stem from?

It is nothing threatening at all, but it can perceived as such, as a lot of our identity is wrapped up in our choices, beliefs and prejudices. rather, it would say it is about imploring within to understand one's self better. usually there is a reason, long embedded within us, but forgotten.

 

We should be used to this self examination since childhood.  WHY?   Why am I attracted to boys, but feel nothing for girls?

I stopped asking myself this question without answer.  I find 20 y.o. beautiful, but not the 60 y.o.  And for sex I go after beauty (not big cock, or macho look)

I could also ask myself:  why do I prefer to eat chocolate over eating okra?

 

[cmehz]

imo, i think age really matters in relationships. tends to have different mindsets and have quite a different lifestyle comparing those in theirs 20s and 30s. 

[Andrew Tee]

On 4/18/2019 at 10:11 AM, LeanMature said:

 

He treated you as a friend and companion. So if you treasure this friendship, leave it this way.  Most young guys seek is "fatherly love and attention" due to the lack of it from their biological father.  Very few really want a partner with 20 or 30 years age gap.

Yup. I eventually told him my feelings and just stayed as friends. Actually he is my personal trainer, so whether I like it or not I still have finish my sessions with him. 

[Guest Boy]

Hello BWers,

 

For those in a large age gap relationship, eg >15 years, how do you introduce your partner whenever you see people that you are not out yet to? Do you introduce them as friend? or nephew? Or which do you think should be the "correct" definition to introduce him?

[LeanMature]

Uncle or god brother, whichever comfortable. 

[lonelyglobe]

Personal assistant was quite famous once.... 

[Behrhunter]

DADDY! Especially if he is a hot dad.

 

Just kidding. I also believe that you should be comfortable with what you are introduced as. If your are not comfortable with it then discuss with your partner. 

 

From my past experience, when I was younger, I never bothered. When I dated older guys, I just introduced them as friend. Most people wont ask more. If it is really awkward, just introduce the name .. hi this <insert name here.> Unless you are repeatedly seeing this person, eg, mom seeing you bring your partner home over and over and you are still not out. That's where things get strange. 

 

Now that I am older, I do have some encounters with younger guys and it feels quite strange for me as i spent most my twink days as the younger one. So if you are the older one i see where you are coming from but my thoughts are still the same. Just say friend. 

[zac89]

There is a guy that I like, but he is 8 years younger than me, I'm 30 while he is 22. Do you reckon this relationship can last? Since the younger one would want to explore more to know himself during this period? Any thoughts and experience to share on this? 

[Torrent]

If there is a common ground to serve as foundation, age gap isn't much of an issue. I know of someone who was only a few years age gap between me and him, but yet we still failed to work out. 

Maturity also helps, sometimes the younger one might be more mature than you think. Traditionally, we'll depend on the older one to guide and lead the younger one though.

Edited June 5, 2020 by Torrent

[shrugs]

14 minutes ago, zac89 said:

There is a guy that I like, but he is 8 years younger than me, I'm 30 while he is 22. Do you reckon this relationship can last? Since the younger one would want to explore more to know himself during this period? Any thoughts and experience to share on this? 

 

last means how long? in 10 years time, you will be 40 and he will be where you are in life now.

 

do you, at the current stage of life, see yourself with someone in his early forties?

 

i personally have had enough heartbreak dating someone younger and just starting to explore. so i just try not to take it too seriously.

 

 

 

 

 

[repressednerd]

I think 8 year gap is not very big. There are some couples where one guy is twice the age of his partner.

 

Some young guys can be very mature, and some old guys can be very childish. I think the difference might lie in physiological needs. A young guy, even if mature in thought, would still have a body that might desire more sex, or have to make do with jerking off. My ex was older than me, so sometimes during the morning I would jerk off while my ex hug me but not jerk off.

[kinky kyle]

I have met at least 2 couples with very wide age gaps... around 20 years, it is possible but I doubt it's common.

Edited June 6, 2020 by kinky kyle

[Guest Young thing]

12 hours ago, Torrent said:

Maturity also helps, sometimes the younger one might be more mature than you think. Traditionally, we'll depend on the older one to guide and lead the younger one though.

In that case, the younger one needs a Guardian not a lover.

[Guest btm]

Talk about life with him. Depending on his answers, you'll know how mature he is or if you share the same goal for the future.

[Torrent]

1 hour ago, Guest Young thing said:

In that case, the younger one needs a Guardian not a lover.

That's why I used the word 'tradition', and traditions are meant to be broken. In today's case, whoever can step up, just do it, regardless of who's the older or younger one.

[zac89]

Noted guys, I will think about it and let u guys know the developments

[TT2880]

20 hours ago, zac89 said:

There is a guy that I like, but he is 8 years younger than me, I'm 30 while he is 22. Do you reckon this relationship can last? Since the younger one would want to explore more to know himself during this period? Any thoughts and experience to share on this? 

 

Hi,

 

You mentioned you like him. That is the answer. When you live in fear of the unknown that lies ahead, you will never see your bliss today. 

 

Whether you and him wld work out or not, no one here can tell. So what if you think that he is mature for his age? Many gays in their later years are still single. Are they not matured enough? 

 

So what if you and him have many things in common, many gays who shared many common interest and thoughts are good friends or "sisters", and not couple.

 

So, is not about the tangible attributes that make a relationship works. It is the intangible effort that has the potential of bringing you and him the ultimate bliss of a relationship. Even the day were to come to an end, both of you have not missed out a single moment to not love one another. 

 

All the best to you. 

 

 

 

[mangotsf]

My dating life includes 1 guy more than twice my age n another 11 years older. Like all other relationships, compatibility, chemistry tgt (in bed included) and communication are key for a healthy one. There will be differences like preference over music n topics but it wont be a big deal w u truly love each other and over time, yall will share common experiences through dates n stuff. Go for it

[mangotsf]

And like the people above, wont say maturity plays a big role in a relationship. It's not good to have everything in common anyways. What matters is that both of you have the same goal in mind

[Zerosum]

57 minutes ago, mangotsf said:

And like the people above, wont say maturity plays a big role in a relationship. It's not good to have everything in common anyways. What matters is that both of you have the same goal in mind

Wise words from a handsome fellow - I'm swooned 

[Guest broadwayboy]

On 6/5/2020 at 11:10 PM, zac89 said:

There is a guy that I like, but he is 8 years younger than me, I'm 30 while he is 22. Do you reckon this relationship can last? Since the younger one would want to explore more to know himself during this period? Any thoughts and experience to share on this? 

(as a PHD i don't have time to read the comments so if u reply don't expect a response from me, i will never reply. Thx 4 ur u.)

 

Firstly, congrats zac89! Life has opened up a door of opportunity for u & I am sincerely happy for u... even though we remain anonymous.

 

I had a date once(met him this year), 10 years younger than me, but would things have worked out btw both of us?

Yes, only because:

1) from the beginning, he voluntarily adopts the more submissive role, so that's a sure win coz quite a low rate for quarrels, but then again... this is a personal decision btw the 2 of us.

 

2) U are absolutely right on your 2nd point. I was stunned when he told me "I mite have to go overseas for my studies" & I was like... i went overseas to study a decade ago... U telling me... now then u go overseas to study?!?
Well,

what to do?
If u really like him... u would sacrifice whatever impending life decision that he makes... that will ultimately affect ur life, in either a small or big way.

What i didn't like about this was the loss         ... of common ground...

I am Generation X... he is a millennial    .... loss of common ground...

I am into Symphony 92.4... he is KISS92... loss of common ground...

                                                                                                                                                             

                                                                                                                                                                                             

                                                                                                                                             

the list goes on... the lack of shared common life experiences btw us because I have aged in advance of him by a few stages... & this is inevitable... but are u willing to accept this loss of common ground... that requires double the amount of effort in order to compensate for the age gap? Here is where u have to do the Maths... & I wish u all the best in ur decision, all the best!!!
 

---6th June 2020---

Edited June 10, 2020 by broadwayboy
.

[Guest 21 years age gap]

I met my bf in this forum in 2011 when he was 18 yo and I was 39 yo. We just celebrated our 9th anniversary together and we are now staying together. Just hope that you will find your love regardless of any age gap. God bless. 

[zac89]

7 hours ago, broadwayboy said:

Firstly, congrats zac89! Life has opened up a door of opportunity for u & I am sincerely happy for u... even though we remain anonymous.

 

I had a date once(met him this year), 10 years younger than me, but would things have worked out btw both of us?

Yes, only because:

1) from the beginning, he voluntarily adopts the more submissive role, so that's a sure win coz quite a low rate for quarrels, but then again... this is a personal decision btw the 2 of us.

 

2) U are absolutely right on your 2nd point. I was stunned when he told me "I mite have to go overseas for my studies" & I was like... i went overseas to study a decade ago... U telling me... now then u go overseas to study?!?
Well,

what to do?
If u really like him... u would sacrifice whatever impending life decision that he makes... that will ultimately affect ur life, in either a small or big way.

What i didn't like about this was the loss         ... of common ground...

I am Generation X... he is a millennial    .... loss of common ground...

I am into Symphony 92.4... he is KISS92... loss of common ground...

                                                                                                                                                             

                                                                                                                                                                                             

                                                                                                                                             

the list goes on... the lack of shared common life experiences btw us because I have aged in advance of him by a few stages... & this is inevitable... but are u willing to accept this loss of common ground... that requires double the amount of effort in order to compensate for the age gap? Here is where u have to do the Maths... & I wish u all the best in ur decision, all the best!!!
 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------6th June 2020----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Thanks dude, what if the younger guy I like is more dominant , while in terms of sexual position, we both are versatile top. Would that be a problem hmm

[iamnotashame]

For that, its a give and take issue. Are the two of you willing to give and take at different times? If so, you can consider.