Devilchub Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 Will u ever consider accepting someone who is married to become ur bf? And do u think this kind of relationship can last? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asura Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 Never. I don't think it will last. Quote It's just me.... Asura... don't fear, but be very afraid.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 Some readers ever say they had or currently attach with married guys, some put moral aside, they have their supporters & say nothing wrong with that, as long both really love each others.I won't ever attach with married guys, fun yes but draw a clear cut. To me Love can't share, especiall i won't into third party, somemore people got family & some even got kids. Family man should put their family in the first place, if they can't be a Good Father & Good husband, what make him to become a Good Boyfriend? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonely Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 I won't put up any moral arguments for this, but if you decided to play the game, you have to abide by the "rules". If you can't take it, then don't get involve. Quote Jealousy is when you realise the things you don't have.Envy is when you realise the things you'd never have. -Nip/Tuck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 I won't put up any moral arguments for this... Ture, no point having arguments for that, some people even just into married guys only, to them is just like discover Gold.It's their Life style, if they both don't mind, why should we care that much Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonely Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 This is no longer a clear right or wrong thing anymore, our lives have gotten so much more complicated. Sometimes it is very hard for outsiders to judge who is right or who is wrong. If life is simple black or white and we all can be logical in our thinking, there won't be so much unhappiness. We are all trying to live our lives the best we know how. Quote Jealousy is when you realise the things you don't have.Envy is when you realise the things you'd never have. -Nip/Tuck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devilchub Posted August 20, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 I used to attached with a married man before, but only lasted a year. Many close friends of mine, told me this kind of relationship can never last, which is quite true.But love is blind, also love have not right or wrong. For me, to love someone who is married, take me alot of courage as i have to endure not calling him during weekend, can't celebrate valentine day with him, can't take care of him when he is sick, can't stay out late whenever we meet....etc.We in love, then we broke off and we patch back together again. Somehow things couldn't work out right, we finally choose to live our own life.If u asked me will i ever find myself a new bf who is a married man, my answer is NO. :whistle: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baloo Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 just curious. How old are you Devilchub? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 I always wonder, it is true that love itself no right or wrong, but how if apply to human? Cos to me, many thing you have the choice to have or not to have, to jump or not to jump into it, i don't think Love is Blind, but human is If loving a married man take alot of Courage, then what make a person to become a third party? Think again, you like someone to involve your relationship? I think we actually have the answer within us & is very clear, just most of the people are selfish & son't care whether are we hurting others at the same time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firday Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 Ever fall in love with a married guy but withdraw afarid to hurt the guy n his family since I do love him so much to let him free.In the end, his family breakup due to his inner self emerge but I wasn't the lucky one to have him in the end.Up till today, I still doubt there a chance or even ONE chance to ever happen. Both will still get hurt in the end unless otherwise whereby the other (wife) die or divorce. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boxers Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 Love is only between 2 persons. So long as both parties are happy with what they have, then it's alright. Quote "Do what you wanna do in life despite what others say, it's your life anyway." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GachiMuchi Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 Been there done that. My 1st bf was a married guy. Broke off with him after 1 year when I found out he is an Asshole. I was young then and like they say, love is blind or was it, when you are in love you are blind? Quote http://gachimuchi2008.blogspot.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PSS Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 Love is only between 2 persons. So long as both parties are happy with what they have, then it's alright. Boxers, i think you say something very wrongly & a huge big mistake. with a married guy there will never be 2 person anymore kindly take note, it involve wife, kid(s) etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Right or Wrong? Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 Picture this...A married man discover his gay side late... there can be many reasons for this, denial or lack of info at his time (20-30 years ago).Now he took the courage to tell his wife...That he can no longer be the husband she thought he is... as he has fallen in love with a man.He tells her that she can have all he owns as it is his fault... just set him free.The wife will not accept divorce...She will not accept sharing him with man either.Threatens him with suicide even if he gets involve with any gay activities...So who is right... who is wrong?It's easy for you to say... no one force him to get married in the first place, so he has to bite the bullet. If it is that easy, why are we gay... why not turn straight. It's an easier life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 Right or Wrong? What i can say is, from your post i can see what is mean by full of excuses. Why don't you say his wife have affair outside etc? I won't deny that what you say really happen, but what the percentage?When we want to say something that seem sound sensible, kindly think twice, what if that really happen to our family or our sibling etc? Similar Thread do discuse before, no answer... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reflection Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 Love is only between 2 persons. So long as both parties are happy with what they have, then it's alright.A third party is always a third party. Does 1 + 1 = 3 ? or 1 + 1 +1 = 2 ? Quote z Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicefatboy Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 Well I believe that it is about quality time and not quantity of time. So in a sense even if he is married it could still work. He doesnt have to be with you all the time to be your bf. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Right or Wrong? Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 Right or Wrong? What i can say is, from your post i can see what is mean by full of excuses. Why don't you say his wife have affair outside etc? I won't deny that what you say really happen, but what the percentage?When we want to say something that seem sound sensible, kindly think twice, what if that really happen to our family or our sibling etc? Similar Thread do discuse before, no answer... I am simply putting this up as an example to show that there is no absolute right or wrong. So that people don't just simply act so self righteous.If for the above scenario...If my husband don't love me no more.. I'll set him free... though I might be sad and broken hearted. If he still loves me and I still want to be with him, I will share him with the man. If I can't accept that, I'll divorce him.If my dad is gay, I will accept him as who he is. He is my dad after all.Well, not everyone is like me... But don't think that everyone is small like you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 yup i totally believe what you say , often people can talk this talk that when nt happen to oneself yet, this type of ppl all over & this type of person normally voice the loudest, i admit that i am small, just cos i wont like to find any excuses to cover my mistake & try to make myself look right & grand, Love relationship can share, esp with the third party, i envy you :clap: :whistle: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 Right or Wrong? forget to tell you, do you want to ask how many BW married guys here want to divorce after they know they are Gay or Bi after many years & when they attach with guys? How many will tell their wife? Be more mature when you want to give scenario & compare your own answer provided & the rest of the senders, i think you are the one who is simply act so self righteous Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GKS Posted August 20, 2007 Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 My experience. yet to continue with my account. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devilchub Posted August 20, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2007 Hi baloo, i am 40 now Before i meet my ex, he have attached with another guy before. Many things had happen in his family which i think is not too nice to discuss here.I am certain i am blind when i have fall for him, maybe married man got some kind of charm in them which i couldn't resist. :yuk: I also know is never good to become a third parties in any forms of relationship, especially trying to breakup someones family,while i was with my ex, i have never asked him to divorce with his wife, neither did i demand much from him. Just wish to spend time with him whenever he is free.During the one year with him, we do have many sweet memories, of cos also many bad things happen too. Well, this is very normal in any form of relationship.I won't regret for knowing him, afterall i do love him before and i choose to be with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baloo Posted August 21, 2007 Report Share Posted August 21, 2007 That's the root of the problem right there isn't it?The need for a 1 or 0 answer... neat, clean, precise, boxed up, no way to misinterptete the solution... like a solution to a mathematical equation.News: life isn't like that. Not even for straight couples who end up in triangles, where wife finds another man she more truely love than her current husband, or other way around a triangle love affair.or a housewife discovers she is lesbian... and needs to leave her straight husband and children for her newly discovered love.so of course there's no fixed answer, and no single solution to this... too many dynamic variables...as long as all can come to terms, and accept things as they are, and move on and be happy about it in the long run... it should work out fine for all parties.it's when people insist that they come out fairer than the other party(s) that things get problematic...so to all in such situations.... think peace, think harmony, think acceptance, and last but not least, DUN FXXK CARE what those who are not involved think or say. Fuxxking KAYPO bastards... none of thier business backside itchy jealous chap ji kar... :yuk: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Right or Wrong? Posted August 21, 2007 Report Share Posted August 21, 2007 yup i totally believe what you say , often people can talk this talk that when nt happen to oneself yet, this type of ppl all over & this type of person normally voice the loudest, i admit that i am small, just cos i wont like to find any excuses to cover my mistake & try to make myself look right & grand, Love relationship can share, esp with the third party, i envy you :clap: :whistle: Whatever... just die unhappy and disappointed since most people can't live up to your moral standards and you can't excuse yourself for failing them too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaiboyz Posted August 21, 2007 Report Share Posted August 21, 2007 I will unless i stay in with his wife and having assets under my name! hahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
like wind Posted August 21, 2007 Report Share Posted August 21, 2007 If you have a married as your b/f, it will always/mostly lead to sad ending... So, not encouraged and try not to... But, there is rare (very rare) case that it work with all three parties... [AGAIN, VERY VERY VERY RARE]Feel like wind, roaming free Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devilchub Posted August 21, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 21, 2007 Indeed is true, sad ending in the end. Also i saw number of cases, some of my friends who hv a married man bf also have the same ending as me. Maybe there are some very rare case out there who work out right. I will never encourage anyone if they seek my opinion whether they should go with a married man. Once bitten twice shy. As from what i have learn, i noticed married man kind of looking for lusts more then relationship, they somehow never satisfy with just one sex partner, even they tell u how much they love u. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted August 21, 2007 Report Share Posted August 21, 2007 Married man works for me, especially when mine is in his late 50s. He has the paternal attitude - patience, caring, loving, tolerant and considerate. I need space and the fact that he needs to spent time with his family accords me that freedom to do things that he has no interest in. I did not consciously go look for a married man to have a relationship. It happened that he was married. And it works for me. We have been at it for 6 years. So there are exceptions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harylok Posted August 21, 2007 Report Share Posted August 21, 2007 Toss a coin and tell me which side is good or bad?!My pt is that Everyone has different encounters...The end result varies and due to many factors. JUZ DO IT ..... if you truly in search for true love...Hary.... its YOUR LIFE reinbowl 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy@Tokyo Posted August 21, 2007 Report Share Posted August 21, 2007 I have personally seen several successful cases of married man affairs.1> Two of them know each other so much, that they even know each other family. sometimes they have family outings together. and even when both of them go on private tours, the family members wouldnt even suspect.2> Wife and kids know abt daddy's preferance to men. and wife is quite understanding about the situation. the daddy doesnt take advantage of the situation. Moreover, he does not stay overnights with men, except on tour with his bf, sometimes.3> His wife had passed away and only his kids are left, but they lived separately. He stays near his bf and often when they go out they hold hands while walking down streets.4> Married men has a bf and during wkends, he spends time with his bf. His wife and kids doesnt know abt it. whenever his bf feels down, he is always there for him. 5> They have been attached for more than 9 yrs. the daddy always goes back by the last train and they always play golf and drink together. 6> This married man has 2 house, one in tokyo and one in kyoto and he plays ard with men like noone business, like though he doesnt have a family to worry abt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted August 21, 2007 Report Share Posted August 21, 2007 I only can say, if you are such person, then you will agree & feel that it is not a big deal, but to those who into moral, they will find it should not be encourage, fair or nt fair think oneself know better, betray or nt betray your love one heaven know no matter what type of reason you have, as some people mention, is your life, you decide, as long you wont regret & face it like a man when thing happen. I always believe one thing, a person who really know what is True Love, they won't want or try to hurt their belove. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy@Tokyo Posted August 21, 2007 Report Share Posted August 21, 2007 Guest.. i agree with u as in i am the type who would not get married...but as for the otherside, dont u think it is difficult to control? for e.g. when u go sauna and meet ur type, do u ask every single one of ur type whether they are married bf doing with them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted August 21, 2007 Report Share Posted August 21, 2007 Andy@Tokyo, i don't have the position to say Right or Wrong cos i am not the GOD, i just here to share my own view & what if happen to me. I have fun with married guys, some like me alot, but i know where should our line go till, i will & never fall in Love with a married guy for sure, i not interested in Love Triangle & i won't let myself be the 3rd party, i will not forgive myself this whole life by doing that. True that you cant stop others like or love you, but you can stop yourself when you know the truth right? Is just the matter you want to let go or not, even he is really your type, so? My conscience won't allow me to do so & i rather give it a miss Love is selfish i must agree, but now i unsure it is apply to 3rd party too when a person who is destroying someone happiness... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy@Tokyo Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 Guest... i was and am unsure but after a few months since the discussion on similar topic, i find it is a case to case basis matter. In fact, i dont feel that love is so so selfish. e.g. if i find that my bf come to love another guy, i would give them by blessings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 e.g. if i find that my bf come to love another guy, i would give them by blessings. Andy@Tokyo, sorry to say that beside give him all the blessing what else you want?3rd party have no right to say that he is nt selfish cos what he did already ... Even married guy break off with him one day & look for another, is not a big deal, when 3rd party involve in a married guy relationship, he will never never be the victim cos he refuse tolet go & willing to continue unhealthy love, the only victim are married man's family members Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy@Tokyo Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 Guest, i also mentioned case-to-case basis. in one of the case i have witnessed, the man's wife has already died and his children lives away from him. I dont know how close is him to his children.. but isnt this case okie? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 Guest, i also mentioned case-to-case basis. in one of the case i have witnessed, the man's wife has already died and his children lives away from him. I dont know how close is him to his children.. but isnt this case okie? OK, if this case i have to say i won't call that as 3rd party, i even think the " married " guy should for for his happiness, he don't need to care too much what his children think cos his children can't company him always but his "Lover " can I just call 3rd party when the person wife is still around, you get what i mean, betray is betray no matter how nice the reason you can give, True? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asura Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 The reason that I will not go for a married guy, is because of the OTHER commitments that he may or may not have.I don't believe that he will be able to give whatever I would want, but of cause, I am not saying all are like that. For the case what Andy had mentioned, the wife past away and children grown up and away also, I see it as if this guy needs companion.Hence, I am not against the term "marriage" but rather "he and his time" belongs to someone else.But of cause, Quote It's just me.... Asura... don't fear, but be very afraid.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoner79 Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 hmmm.... i have a friend, after attached with his bf for 3 years plus, then discovered that his bf is married... with 2 kids, one 4 years old, one 1 years old. freaked him out.... Quote Would It Shatter Your Illusion If This Angel Had Been Cursed?http://shitou79.blogspot.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devilchub Posted August 22, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 if u think u can endure and can accpet what i writen below if not u better consider this kind of relationshp.Married man : 1)They can't spend much time n cannot stay late cos have to report home early.2)There are many places he cannot go, especially near his house or places his families member alway go.3)He can't spend Valentine Day, and many others public holiday together with u.4)U can't call him at nite or during weekend. nor text him with mushy sms as his wife might spot check his cellphone.5)Some of them will never let u have their photo. So can forget abt thinking taking photo together with him.Of couse there will be many other things u may need to consider too. I wun say all married man will have this kind of restrictions, some of them do have alot of freedom as they really know how to cover up themself well.Anyway, wish u all the best if u have decide to with a married man. :thumb: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reflection Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 As a 3rd party, be prepared to- get names like Quote z Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devilchub Posted August 22, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 Reflection, i m about to write that too but second though, dun wan to offend anyone cos is their life. EugeneSin 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reflection Posted August 22, 2007 Report Share Posted August 22, 2007 Reflection, i m about to write that too but second though, dun wan to offend anyone cos is their life. Devilchub,It is okay. This is the societal view and we are merely bringing it out for discussion. Societal acceptance or condemnation is real! Quote z Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dienasaw Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 married or not is not the problem. problem is when they impose unfair restrictions on you which seem unreasonable considering you are making so many concessions for them already... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gpfun Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 I guess we cant really generalize all cases. Frankly, getting involved with a married guy means that you have to make some sacrifice or mentally you should be prepared for some sort of "compromise". At times, it is good when you can have time to yourself. My ex-bf demanded almost every hour of my time to be together and that stressed me out as I dont have the freedom to do things I like alone like reading a book or reading to music.Back to the topic. I have known of friends who are together with married men and some of them have been together for more than decade. Though the guy who is attached to the married men have some minor complaints of not able to spend a lot of time together, they are still happily together, much to my envy.It is not easy to find a gay couple (of whom both not are married) to be together for more than decade, let alone a couple of whom one of them is married.Whatever the case is, so long as both parties enjoy each other company and understand the boundaries and sacrifices, it may not be impossible.Just my 2-cent worth of thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeboi Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 my 1st ex is a married man but he flirt and i have to break off with him.... but i still accept an married man to be my bf if he is sincere to his family and me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 my 1st ex is a married man but he flirt and i have to break off with him.... but i still accept an married man to be my bf if he is sincere to his family and me sincere???? OMG, if he true & responsible to his family, he will brtray them???? is it Steven Lim joke? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justanotherchub Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 this is a common discussion in this forum,i believe that.to me, in a relationship, married or pure blood doesnt different. it depend on what u expect and what you willing to give.of cos, some ppl did hv bad experience with married guy. but still have some ppl having sweet time for long period. how long consider long period? 1 yr, 5 yrs, 10 yrs?i dun like to put all responsible to married guy on a failure relationship. failure relationship is make by 2 party. yes,some ppl falied bcos of married issue, but not all.someone did mentioned in this post, since u in the game...just play it well. and this is what i think of a relationship too. if u dun play it well, dun blame bcos the other party is married. since you choose a married guy, u know what you should act inhis live (or i shld say in this game). some ppl looking for 7-11(24 hr open for u) like of love/relationship, some ppl learn to understand and respect other's living behaviour. anyway, married guy is not a poison in gay relationship. if u dun hv well prepare, dun taste it.btw, i am pure blood. i did hv good and bad exp with married guy.NEVER REGRET! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 NEVER REGRET! I agree, when you want to step into people family & love a married guy, just face what ever come to you next. Don't put the blame on them, cos you already know what type of person they are, if sad ending, just blame oneself " fan jian " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dienasaw Posted August 25, 2007 Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 no leh... any relationship is a 2-way thing... each person has to play his part but of course the contribution by both parties are not equal. if the relationship fails, it's because both failed to do what they were supposed to do. cannot blame just one party alone and cannot assume that only the unmarried person bear all the consequences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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