Will You Have A R/ship With A Married Man? + In Love With / Liked A Married Man (Compiled)

[greg01greg]

Be judgemental all you want. Please do. 
I’m just trying to wrap my head and trying to make sense of this myself. 
my friend has been in relationship with a married man for so many years who I have been trying to tell him that it would not work out eventually.

lately he hasn’t been the same, not present etc. 

so here I am trying to understand what warrants a married man to want to have the best of both worlds and try to get away with it. 

[Guest Get a grip]

11 hours ago, greg01greg said:

Be judgemental all you want. Please do. 
I’m just trying to wrap my head and trying to make sense of this myself. 
my friend has been in relationship with a married man for so many years who I have been trying to tell him that it would not work out eventually.

lately he hasn’t been the same, not present etc. 

so here I am trying to understand what warrants a married man to want to have the best of both worlds and try to get away with it. 

what’s there to wrap your head around?
 

Your friend also wanted to have the best of both worlds (something that felt like a relationship without all the messy bits of a relationship) and gave the married guy the chance to have the best of both worlds too.
 

They are both equally deserving of your judgement and negativity, if this is what you are asking. 

[AnglesnDemons]

It's unfair to ask for what you cannot expect, and it's unfair to expect what you cannot ask for. The reasons for wanting a married man and conversely, being a married man, are manifold but so too are the downsides. Being with one just means you have to take the good with the ill.

 

Almost like a marriage vow hor? But without being too abstract: can I suggest that it isn't worth judging or being judged for wanting/being with a married guy, this is a tale older than time itself (I mean, greek tragedies from before Christ are written about these types of affairs). If you want to be with a married man, go in with the eyes wide open, and know that this ultimately must be an expiring relationship. Not every relationship is forever so as long as the parties know what they are here for. Then they can proceed accordingly la.

[Ironrod]

18 hours ago, greg01greg said:

Thanks for all the opinion and I know this would be a unanimous vote. But feelings aside, how do you measure that person’s integrity? 
On one hand he speaks about an honest living, a man of full conviction etc. while on the other hand he’s leading a life total opposite to what he stood for.. 

looking at his life and what he accomplished, I kinda feel disgusted.. 

 

 

In Buddhism, to engage sexual intercourse with married men/women is consider "Sexual misconduct" because you are hurting their spouse. You are creating rift between 2 people and such should be avoided because it creates suffering and when one creates suffering.....Karma will follow. Its' not about you or him did it "willingly", it's about who you hurt in that process.

 

A lot of people doesn't understand about suffering but only questions when they starts to suffer. Usually with a lot of WHYS.

 

Just like a fishing hook that you unintentionally drop into the ocean, a fish may get hooked by it and it suffers due to your actions. Yet, you will never know and understand why you are having constant bodyaches and pain when its payback time. 

 

Conclusion? Its not just the married man/woman's who will pay, the one whom willingly engage them will also pay. So you are not any holier then the married men/woman whom you willing slept with or engage with secretly.

[greg01greg]

Ultimately this will hurt everyone but not to the married man. He will easily move on to the next one and yes  I suppose karma will follow.. 

The underlining question is - when will it stop. 

 

[Guest Get a grip]

27 minutes ago, greg01greg said:

Ultimately this will hurt everyone but not to the married man. He will easily move on to the next one and yes  I suppose karma will follow.. 

The underlining question is - when will it stop. 

 

how do you know it doesn’t hurt him living a double life? You’ve heard one side of the story…
 

And why are you so invested in this anyway? Why do you think it should stop?
 

Maybe it’s time to worry less about the mistakes you think other people are making. 

[D.0284]

2 hours ago, Ironrod said:

 

In Buddhism, to engage sexual intercourse with married men/women is consider "Sexual misconduct" because you are hurting their spouse. You are creating rift between 2 people and such should be avoided because it creates suffering and when one creates suffering.....Karma will follow. Its' not about you or him did it "willingly", it's about who you hurt in that process.

 

A lot of people doesn't understand about suffering but only questions when they starts to suffer. Usually with a lot of WHYS.

 

Just like a fishing hook that you unintentionally drop into the ocean, a fish may get hooked by it and it suffers due to your actions. Yet, you will never know and understand why you are having constant bodyaches and pain when its payback time. 

 

Conclusion? Its not just the married man/woman's who will pay, the one whom willingly engage them will also pay. So you are not any holier then the married men/woman whom you willing slept with or engage with secretly.

but marriage is a system that were motivated by political agenda. lust is instinct. but does love needs to last forever. perhaps we can never control who we love and how long it would last.

[D.0284]

1 hour ago, greg01greg said:

Ultimately this will hurt everyone but not to the married man. He will easily move on to the next one and yes  I suppose karma will follow.. 

The underlining question is - when will it stop. 

 

polygamy is never a new thing in asian culture. it has nothing to do with karma. i wondered if one can unwillingly fall in love with a married man? will the fact that he being a married man affect the fact that another being fond of him? is it is karma for a man to fall in love with another man who cannot promise exclusive love? is it a greed that even knowing that the one who he loves is married, one still goes all out to satisfy ones greed by destroying his partner marriage commands great karma?

human kid took at least 18 years to becomes an adult, so is it natural that in the conventional family that men and women has to stay together to raise a kid? is it a fact that homosexual couple could not conceive naturally? so why do homosexual has the urge to tied each other down?

i am not here to judge anyone. i am only here to provide a different perspective.

[Guest Huhh?]

19 hours ago, greg01greg said:

Ultimately this will hurt everyone but not to the married man. He will easily move on to the next one and yes  I suppose karma will follow.. 

The underlining question is - when will it stop. 

 

The married man should be the one terrified that his high strung drama queen gay fb will destroy his family, career and life by broadcasting their affair on a jealous whim.... it just shows your warped thinking....

[Ironrod]

On 7/3/2023 at 7:00 PM, D.0284 said:

but marriage is a system that were motivated by political agenda. lust is instinct. but does love needs to last forever. perhaps we can never control who we love and how long it would last.

 

I dunno how political is it but  "Marriage" is legally recognized union between people called spouses. It establishes rights and obligations between them, as well as between them. Yes, if you got car accident and need a signature for surgery, your spouse can sign on your behalf. Your bf cannot do that even if u together for 100 years. Love has nothing to do with it but its' a commitment. Why do you think ppl have wedding dinner? It's an announcement to tell others this person is taken, don't go fuck with them. That's why married people having sex outside their marriage is consider "sexual misconduct". 

 

I will stress again, fucking with married ppl is a 2 party responsibility. Don't just blame the married man/woman, the wrong belongs to both. That's what I want TS to know that's all.

[singalion]

Good question but I don't have an answer. 

 

Maybe because I would avoid married guys. 

 

 

The only thing I know is one of my friends who fell for a married guy that gave him 1000 promises such as divorcing his wife and starting a life with my friend etc but it never materialised... My friend needed long to get over all also it took long to find an end... 

 

[PlayersGroup]

If someone chose to recite marriage vows as a commitment in church or at a wedding that build a life with the lady n have children, I do consider that as a different level of commitment. You have in-laws, children, and chosen to take on the cultural n legal responsibility towards a household as husband and father.

 

Because it is a different level of commitment, I think it's no longer just about your sexuality, or satisfying one's sexual impulses or about a romantic relationship between "boy n girl". I will stay away from this.

 

Edited July 9, 2023 by PlayersGroup

[auscent]

FWB yes. Relationship no, because I dont want to share the man with a woman.

[Guest Cuckold]

You can trust the man but once his wife found out and come to your office and look for you or print out your face and put gay slut messages and distribute at your office lobby 🤔

 

Then don't go crying when I told you so. 

 

Play with fire. Get burn. 

[Guest Armpits]

On 7/12/2023 at 12:14 PM, Guest Cuckold said:

You can trust the man but once his wife found out and come to your office and look for you or print out your face and put gay slut messages and distribute at your office lobby 🤔

 

Then don't go crying when I told you so. 

 

Play with fire. Get burn. 

That almost happened. Lucky I quit my job and blocked him 

[Guest Liar liar pants on fire]

If he can lie to his wife or husband...he can surely lie to you. 

 

[Guest Wow]

this thread is so applicable to the current ongoing political scandals now

[Guest Mistress]

Warning. Just this morning while on my way to work saw many posters of a female photo with the label mistress.... 

 

It was plastered all over the walkway from the bus stop to my workplace. 

 

No idea who the mistress is. Yes police were called because the picture was sticked to my office building. 

 

Play with married man or woman. Get burned. 

[PlayersGroup]

I'm traditional only in that sense that if both partners have committed to a traditional marriage, then commit to it. 

 

But, if the couple have no children, and they enjoy open swinging with other  consenting adults or other forms of play, I don't see issues with trust if it is open n agreed.

[Guest hahaha]

you guys still hiding in the closet who wanna fool around with married men, better watch your backs that no PI is gathering evidence. Else you could one day find your photos and details circulated and getting outed at your work place and homes

[notd]

I have a story to tell you. Buckle up.

 

I used to know a friend who had an affair with a married guy. She was an ex-colleague who attended the same university that I did, and when I joined the company that we were both working at, she came up to me one day, and asked if I had studied at so and so course. That kickstarted a friendship that lasted for 6 years. At that point, I had no recollection of her beyond the fact she spotted a tomboyish haircut in uni. Neither of us shared a mutual friend, but I soon realized we had a lot more in common than we think. The first time we had lunch together as colleagues, perhaps due to my affableness, she confided straight up that she was in a relationship with a married guy.

 

The married guy happens to be a man in his 50s, a Chinese-converted Muslim I'm told, who made the decision to convert as his Muslim father-in-law was willing to back his business in return for having his daughter's hand in marriage. Suffice to say, the marriage happened purely for transactional reasons. However, seeing as he and his Muslim wife were already legally married anyway, they consummated and have a daughter together. As far as emotional attachment goes, the man probably loved his wife, just not enough as his money. At the same time, my friend who was then moonlighting as a financial agent, met him. A few exchanges here and there, a couple of flirts over the months and eventually, the two began an affair that would result in a tryst every other night, in her words "The most phenomenal sex ever." The two lived within a 10-minute driving distance from each other, and my friend being a single lady who rented a room at a landed property, had privacy to herself. She was bored, lonely, and head over heels for this married dude. He found her voluptuous, attractive and emanating feminity, the kind his wife no longer had. Naturally, it was a convenient exchange for the two. Both carried qualities that they sought in each other. Over time, my friend's attachment toward the married guy turned emotional. She was keenly aware that it was wrong, but when an affair happens, the moral grounds are blurred. Who are we to question the morality and sanctity of the bond that two people share anyway? As far as anyone was concerned, it was wrong on every level. Yet, to the two individuals involved, they were simply in love. The man likewise, shared the attachment with her, though it was more physical than emotional. He acknowledged he was in love with her, but not enough to abandon whatever he had, and start anew. Back then, my friend was in her mid-late 20s.

 

Two years passed. I left my job, had my first breakup, and pursued a different career path. My friend and I fell out of touch for a year or so, before reconnecting again over our shared struggles of separating from our relationship. She at that point, had broke things off with the married guy. I never questioned her decision nor did I probe either. I figured if she was willing to share her side of the story, she would in the fullness of time. By that point, she had established a preference for Malay and Indian guys. She was particularly attracted to masculine, scruffy men who in her words, exude primal male instincts. She had plenty of men fitting that description that were vying for her attention, yet none that were willing to commit to her, only to spend the weekly bed-xercise at her place. Once, she managed to snag herself a great catch. An incredibly wealthy, fit, and super-blessed-in-the-genetics-department Muslim man. Compared to the rest of the men she had dated who presented their pool of problems, this eligible Muslim bachelor's bag of problems was a stark contrast to the rest. Weekly date nights comprised of wagyu beefs and omakases at a random high-end restaurants downtown in KL, all coming from his wallet. All in all, it seemed she just needed to persevere, allow things to develop at their own pace, and she might have had a shot at a happily-ever-after. The guy was clearly enjoying his prime, he at that point, held a rather senior position at a famous O&G company, a feat for his age. Unfortunately, my friend expected more - Commitment. The guy flinched, and was intimidated, though he continued to approached and dated her semi-casually. It was a situationship that was promising, but no, none of it ever lived to see the day and I stopped hearing about him from our weekly mamak sessions eventually. The trend persisted over the next few years. My friend calls me up every other week to tell me about her boy problems. She had met so and so this week, slept with so and so this night, so and so sex was mindblowing, yet so and so ghosted her. 

 

She was always asking me "Notd, why do men do that?" Well... who was I to comment. I'm a man myself. I tried my best to answer based on what I heard anyway. It's painfully clear to me that she wants connection, an emotional connection, but her actions and her body language were the complete opposite of it. She was also, unironically, a mixed bag of massive problems looking back at things. She had her finances and life priorities sorted out, but emotionally, a huge wreck that I didn't know at that point. Men avoided her for a simple reason - She wore her heart on her sleeves, and demanded quite a bit. Nothing wrong with that, the men she fucked simply lacked what she wanted and they prematurely backed out because of that. Though she was a 5-figure earner monthly and believed in equality, she expected the men to be on a close, if not similar level. She wanted them to be the one to grab the bill after every dinner, even though she had the money to do so. For all the single, independent woman vibe she exuded, she longed to be coddled, and princessed.

 

Sometime during 2020, before the pandemic sunk in, she called me one night, and said her menstrual cycle was late. She was certain it was not pregnancy, as she was on birth control and timed her cycles correctly to avoid any mishaps. Yet she was clearly worried if it was something bigger brewing beneath. Knowing how big a deal this was, I offered to accompany her to the hospital for a checkup one weekday afternoon. 4-5 hours in the hospital, a checkup from her gynae, she comes out from the consultation room and slumps into the seat next to me. "What's wrong?" I asked. She told me the doctor instructed her to undergo a minor surgery after Chinese New Year. A simple check-in to remove a growth in her ovary, then she's clear for discharge the next day. But first, a course of antibiotics to rule out the possibility of any infection. I knew the news of surgery, however minor, scared her. It was the first time she had heard she needed to undergo invasive surgery. For all the health consciousness she had, it was a shock to her. I drove her back home that evening, she was looking out the view in my passenger's seat. 

 

"Did I ever tell you about the time I had an abortion?"

 

"Nope." I tried to calm myself, my eyes fixed on the rod.

 

As it turned out, the reason she stopped seeing the married guy was because he impregnated her on one of their regular rendezvous. Her menstrual cycle was late, and a checkup by her gynae revealed she was a month into pregnancy. The man told her to abort the baby, she knew it was the only way. My friend was a usually calm and collected individual, or at least she tries to be. But that evening, you could see she was crying inside. That facade of hers wore off. She felt guilty for taking a life. The process according to her, was heartbreaking. Taking drugs under the table to abort a barely-developing fetus was the tip of the iceberg. The horrifying part was expunging the bits in the toilet. It was a traumatizing and scarring experience. It finally made all the sense in the world, why she was the way she was with men. That evening, our friendship grew because of that. Alas, it didn't really last long.

 

The pandemic set in, everyone hunkered down in their homes, she carried on with her life. We still chatted but the lack of physical proximity meant a lot of things couldn't be discussed, and she was never a phone person anyway. The last straw was when the government lifted the lockdown, and she went back out to work as her job required her to do so. Thankfully, her ovary scare turned out to be a super minor infection that nothing a round of antibiotics wouldn't do to help treat, but it did little to remind her of her ways. She soon found herself involved with a foreign expat and got into another messy drama. I finally told her she needed to walk away from the negative coping behaviors she had and learned to channel them into something more productive. She never did, took my advice the wrong way and our friendship regressed several stages. Of course... she shared that the drama ended shortly too. Over the course of 2021 till today, she moved to a new location. We no longer meet because the driving distance between us widened, she received a promotion and became busier. We slowly fell out of touch, and sometimes I do think perhaps I was a temporary friend for her until she was out of her own phase. 

 

Today, she and I are simply acquaintances. She will respond if I responded to her stories on social media. On the other hand, she no longer actively spoke to me. As far I'm aware, she's currently in a relationship with a Chinese guy, a lawyer who is established in his own right. He was everything she had never hoped for, yet he brought two important two things she desperately needed in a relationship, and her life - Peace and groundedness. Both are well-introduced to their social and family circles, and it would seem the two are quite happy together.  For once in the six years I've known her, she was genuinely happy and glowing. You can tell from her photos that she's seeing better days. While all isn't dandy, some things have looked up and will continue to as long she doesn't relapse into unhealthy patterns. 

 

The point of this story? Whether you're hetero or homo, married men will absolutely wreck you. And even if they don't, you're probably a homewrecker to their wife. The same lie he's telling about you to his wife is the same lie he's telling other men. Perhaps you will have a hold on him in ways that no other man or his wife did, but he will continue to abuse your trust. Even in a men-to-men context,  which I have personally experienced, I was simply a tool to my fuck buddy. He and his husband consented to an open relationship, and despite thinking I shared something deeper with him, he was not averse to the idea of a random hookup at the gym cubicles in the evening while fucking me on his bed on the same night. Granted, I guess sleeping with him helped me get comfortable with sex. I was a virgin up to the point I met him, fearful of penetration and thinking I was a side. Little did I know all I needed was for someone patient who could give me the space to be comfortable with my sexuality, both in gender identity and actual sex. Us gay men get off easy as far as affairs are concerned, friends like the girl I have? Sometimes they pay a heftier price. You can argue it's quid for quo, but eh... 

 

Edited July 19, 2023 by notd

[egal]

too complicated.  stay out

[Ignatius93]

Yup if he said he declared got wife Infront of me you are "Out"! Of way n relationship with. And I found out he is single so I alr knew he single so if he wanted date me first thing shouldn't LIE one lie you are out ! 

[auscent]

Like a married man? That's ok. Kinda like male bonding. Anything more than that, Im not sure if it is worth the effort and complications.

[doncoin]

Personally, I have too much respect for the sanctity of marriage to ever want to be involved with a married man. Having said that, if it is an open relationship both parties agree to, then by all means hook up. 

 

If you are thinking of having some form of long-term commitment with the married man, you are only fooling yourself. If he is a closet case, you are highly likely to remain a dirty little secret. If you believe that is how you deserve to be treated, then by all means stay in the relationship. 

 

If you believe you deserve to be treated better, then be with someone who can treat you as such. 

[Guest CRAB]

Cut the crab 

 

U give me Chris Evan , Jin Chen Wu , I would care less they are straight gay bi or whatever 

I just do it 

[Guest Lol]

I will, but he must promise not to fall in love with me. Or leave his wife for me. 

 

Cause I'm not a home wrecker 

[Guest Crab Allergy]

I don't eat crab, so cut the CRAP... HEHEHE

[yhtang]

On 9/28/2023 at 4:44 AM, doncoin said:

If you are thinking of having some form of long-term commitment with the married man, you are only fooling yourself. If he is a closet case, you are highly likely to remain a dirty little secret. If you believe that is how you deserve to be treated, then by all means stay in the relationship. 

 

 

I agree with this statement. 

 

If you ever get involved with a married man, you have to accept the fact that you will always be a afterthought.  A long term relationship with a married man most probably will not work out too well and there will be little chance of him leaving his wife for you. 

[doncoin]

As I spent my adult years living in the West, I do find that generally in Singapore, most relationships are bound by heterosexual norms. Here, the predominant narrative is one where relationships are rooted in heterosexual norms. From a young age, we're conditioned to believe that not only is a heterosexual relationship the standard, but its primary purpose lies in procreation and preserving the family lineage. Any deviation from this norm is often met with disapproval. Even in cases of extramarital affairs, societal expectations dictate that they occur between a man and a woman. 

 

So, where does this leave those who identify as gay? Many grapple with the pressure to conform to these heterosexual norms, driven by societal, community, and familial expectations. I've noticed a number of gay or bisexual men in this forum who choose to maintain this facade. Whether it's due to fear of ostracization, a sense of shame, or a desire to seamlessly blend in, many opt for this path of least resistance. Their decisions are deeply personal, and it's evident that for many, it's a means of self-preservation—why court controversy and draw attention? 

 

Yet, there comes a moment of reckoning for those who identify as gay or bi—a moment to find inner harmony and live authentically. Embracing one's true self is crucial for genuine happiness and peace. Until then, if you are married to a woman, every day is a balancing act between who you would like her to think you are, and who you truly are. The only times when you can be your authentic self are those moments of tryst with your male lover/fling. Step outside those moments, you are on that tightrope, balancing how the world sees you and their expectations of you. 

 

For the guy who is planning to be in a relationship with the married man, like I have said before, you will be his dirty little secret. You matter and exist only in those moments of tryst. If you believe that is all you deserve in life, then that is all you deserve. 

 

 

[aftereightme]

58 minutes ago, doncoin said:

As I spent my adult years living in the West, I do find that generally in Singapore, most relationships are bound by heterosexual norms. Here, the predominant narrative is one where relationships are rooted in heterosexual norms. From a young age, we're conditioned to believe that not only is a heterosexual relationship the standard, but its primary purpose lies in procreation and preserving the family lineage. Any deviation from this norm is often met with disapproval. Even in cases of extramarital affairs, societal expectations dictate that they occur between a man and a woman. 

 

So, where does this leave those who identify as gay? Many grapple with the pressure to conform to these heterosexual norms, driven by societal, community, and familial expectations. I've noticed a number of gay or bisexual men in this forum who choose to maintain this facade. Whether it's due to fear of ostracization, a sense of shame, or a desire to seamlessly blend in, many opt for this path of least resistance. Their decisions are deeply personal, and it's evident that for many, it's a means of self-preservation—why court controversy and draw attention? 

 

Yet, there comes a moment of reckoning for those who identify as gay or bi—a moment to find inner harmony and live authentically. Embracing one's true self is crucial for genuine happiness and peace. Until then, if you are married to a woman, every day is a balancing act between who you would like her to think you are, and who you truly are. The only times when you can be your authentic self are those moments of tryst with your male lover/fling. Step outside those moments, you are on that tightrope, balancing how the world sees you and their expectations of you. 

 

For the guy who is planning to be in a relationship with the married man, like I have said before, you will be his dirty little secret. You matter and exist only in those moments of tryst. If you believe that is all you deserve in life, then that is all you deserve. 

 

 

I feel sad reading your comment as I always I love a married educator secretly - I don't mind being his sex slave ... he is so charming with muscular body

[doncoin]

3 hours ago, aftereightme said:

I feel sad reading your comment as I always I love a married educator secretly - I don't mind being his sex slave ... he is so charming with muscular body

 

 

Yes, the two of you can be in love, but that emotional connection only exists during those fleeting moments when you are able to get together, in the hourly hotel, or wherever. Since you don't mind and you are satisfied with the status quo, so be it. There is nothing to be sad about really unless you yearn or want more than what he can give.

 

 

 

[Guest G T]

For over a year now I've been a guy whom I met from business conference in KL. I didn't know he was married at first and he told me eventually. I know I'm just a spare and we only see ever month for meals, coffee and for fun. He ask for exclusivity to be safe. I'm fine with that. I've fallen much for him. I know this is temporary but I don't care.

[kwongheng]

On 7/3/2023 at 4:53 PM, Ironrod said:

 

In Buddhism, to engage sexual intercourse with married men/women is consider "Sexual misconduct" because you are hurting their spouse. You are creating rift between 2 people and such should be avoided because it creates suffering and when one creates suffering.....Karma will follow. Its' not about you or him did it "willingly", it's about who you hurt in that process.

 

A lot of people doesn't understand about suffering but only questions when they starts to suffer. Usually with a lot of WHYS.

 

Just like a fishing hook that you unintentionally drop into the ocean, a fish may get hooked by it and it suffers due to your actions. Yet, you will never know and understand why you are having constant bodyaches and pain when its payback time. 

 

Conclusion? Its not just the married man/woman's who will pay, the one whom willingly engage them will also pay. So you are not any holier then the married men/woman whom you willing slept with or engage with secretly.

 

We need to understand that the idea of sexual misconduct evolved over time from the original intention.

 

For example one of the original reason is to protect against women:

- (maturakkhita, piturakkhita) girls stil in the care of their parents;
- (malaguna-parikkhitta) those adorned with flowers, i.e. fiancees;
- (sassamika) married women
- (dhammarakkhita) those protected by the dharma, i.e. nuns
- (saparidanda) prisoners.

 

Then you have also had sexual misconduct interpreted as "If one has sex at an inappropriate time or place, with someone who is a virgin, not one’s wife, or not a woman, one is guilty of the sin of sexual misconduct." So, it means even married folks cannot have sex in the wrong time and place and this depends on context and not fixed.

 

It may have later evolved to the modern version of sexual misconduct, note that if we do strictly follow all the rules, some of them include homosexuality as part of sexual misconduct. 

 

I prefer not to judge people or give moral points (as if I am more moral than they are) for those having affairs outside their institution of marriage. After all Buddhism never recognize the institution of marriage unlike Christianity which is god given. The idea of marriage, especially for men is much more fluid in the past e.g Romans, Japanese, even Chinese will have married men having sex with men outside their marriage as part of norm.  We only have this idea of marriage as a sanctity because we have been globalized as a population and lost all the nuances of cultures and diversity.

[Balestier]

On 9/30/2023 at 4:29 AM, doncoin said:

 

 

Yes, the two of you can be in love, but that emotional connection only exists during those fleeting moments when you are able to get together, in the hourly hotel, or wherever. Since you don't mind and you are satisfied with the status quo, so be it. There is nothing to be sad about really unless you yearn or want more than what he can give.

 

 

 

And bear the consequences and guilt of a family wrecker

[Guest Guest]

1 hour ago, Guest G T said:

For over a year now I've been a guy whom I met from business conference in KL. I didn't know he was married at first and he told me eventually. I know I'm just a spare and we only see ever month for meals, coffee and for fun. He ask for exclusivity to be safe. I'm fine with that. I've fallen much for him. I know this is temporary but I don't care.

I didn’t know still need to sign exclusivity contract ah? 😅

 

Like what Balestier said, are you prepared to “bear the consequences and guilt of a family wrecker”?

 

… or is there none (consequences and guilt) to bring this up in the first place? 

 

Both parties happy with each other can already liao? YOLO? 👍👍

[Guest Guest]

3 hours ago, Balestier said:

And bear the consequences and guilt of a family wrecker

 

It takes more than a hand to clap. If the gay is the family wrecker, then what about the husband? The wife is not all that guilt free too, you know?

 

Women gets horny once a month. Men gets horny everyday. That's basic biology. If the wife expect the husband to tone down his sex appetite, why shouldn't the husband expect the wife to tune up her sex drive? If they can't meet in the center, why should the wife complain if the husband seeks fun elsewhere? Furthermore, it is not as if the husband will come home with a baby in hand after having sex with a gay. 

 

So, who exactly is the home wrecker here? The wife？

[Guest Guest]

4 hours ago, Guest G T said:

For over a year now I've been a guy whom I met from business conference in KL. I didn't know he was married at first and he told me eventually. I know I'm just a spare and we only see ever month for meals, coffee and for fun. He ask for exclusivity to be safe. I'm fine with that. I've fallen much for him. I know this is temporary but I don't care.

 

If he can ask for exclusivity to be safe, can you also ask him ensure that his wife is also safe? 

[cutejack]

32 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

 

It takes more than a hand to clap. If the gay is the family wrecker, then what about the husband? The wife is not all that guilt free too, you know?

 

Women gets horny once a month. Men gets horny everyday. That's basic biology. If the wife expect the husband to tone down his sex appetite, why shouldn't the husband expect the wife to tune up her sex drive? If they can't meet in the center, why should the wife complain if the husband seeks fun elsewhere? Furthermore, it is not as if the husband will come home with a baby in hand after having sex with a gay. 

 

So, who exactly is the home wrecker here? The wife？

Everyone give a big round of applause. Woohoooo.  👏👏👏

[Balestier]

45 minutes ago, Guest Guest said:

 

If he can ask for exclusivity to be safe, can you also ask him ensure that his wife is also safe? 

The wife is not all that guilt free too.

 

Women gets horny once a month. Men gets horny everyday. That's basic biology. If the wife expect the husband to tone down his sex appetite, why shouldn't the husband expect the wife to tune up her sex drive? If they can't meet in the center, why should the wife complain if the husband seeks fun elsewhere? Furthermore, it is not as if the husband will come home with a baby in hand after having sex with a gay.