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Finding a Partner (compiled)

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I know this topic has been discussed many times but it's always relevant as countless guys are in need of more avenues to find love. Each thread also discusses slightly different aspects of the same question. I have been using Jack'd for some time but I'm sick of it already. I had talked to many people and met up a few guys; it's very tedious. But if I quit the app, where else can I find other gay guys? Are there avenues other than gay apps? I know people have suggested clubbing but there are so many of us who don't club and don't want to club. Some also suggested having more gay friends so that they will introduce you to other guys, which brings us back to square one. Some say go to the gym, but I can't see it as a fruitful avenue. Despite the number of online avenues available, meeting people is not getting easier for a multitude of reasons (imposters, tedious chatting before meeting, etc). 

 

Those people whose mouths are permanently sore and foul, who are always waiting to lash out at others for some reason or another, who are always seeking ways to feel superior to others and those who cannot put themselves in the shoes of others (by far the most), please refrain from commenting. Thank you. 

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Haha there was a survey which revealed that 2/3 of same-sex relationship began from apps.

 

the truth is that there is no easy way. Yes some people have fairy tale like meetings but not everyone has that. 

 

Yes there are a lot of people on apps but I would want to believe there are people on apps with the same belief as me. Maybe because we subconsciously tend to choose people who look good or have hot bod.. Ignoring those people with a cartoon display pic. Nowadays I find those with unassuming dp are super fun people to know. Give it a try!

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blueb Newbie

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I met my husband through okcupid. It's quite popular in the US. Maybe not in Sg, but we do use match.com, tinder. I think Grindr, Jackd and hornet are more for hookups.. Then again I met my ex bf from Jackd too. 

 

Dating is hard, it requires 2 willing party at the right time to make it work. I'd say don't sweat the part in yearning to belong to someone. Sweat in the part of making yourself happy and content leading the life you wanna lead and eventually it will inspire someone like minded who want to share that lifestyle with you. 

 

Cheers!

Edited by blueb

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wantonmee Newbie

wantonmee

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gotta start from some base like apps, forums, online chats, even gay bars/saunas

i think the fact that u are posting shows that u are at a tipping point of frustration

don't laser focus yourself on finding someone on purpose, just let things flow naturally

continue to app, continue to chat, continue to meet at gay bars but with easy intentions of just hanging out and meeting new people. 

such things cannot be force fed, i feel.

 

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Hilder Newbie

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You remind me of my friend. My friend will say similar things as well. He says he's ugly. I told him, he's not ugly. I have been using the Grindr, Jack'd app, clubbing, going to bars and meeting gays for the past 7 years already. Till now, I'm still single. Along the way, I do have crush, falling in love. However, it's always a one-sided thing. I do admit I am getting sick as well of all this apps maybe 2 years ago. Nowadays, I go with the flow.  It's nice to be in love, it's nice to be in a relationship. For all this to happen, 2 parties must have a mutual feeling together. Right now, I have business to focus, activities to pursue and I have a lot of friends whom I cherished and cherished me over the years. I still enjoy making new friends, in fact some are younger than me. I ended up giving advice to their life. I still wish I am in a relationship, having a partner, I'm growing older year by year...I have since told myself, some things you can't force it to happen. Although my heart is already stolen for now.

Yo jeez...jeez mama...

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HydroNaut Newbie

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On 4/22/2016 at 6:50 PM, Guest Guest said:

I know this topic has been discussed many times but it's always relevant as countless guys are in need of more avenues to find love. Each thread also discusses slightly different aspects of the same question. I have been using Jack'd for some time but I'm sick of it already. I had talked to many people and met up a few guys; it's very tedious. But if I quit the app, where else can I find other gay guys? Are there avenues other than gay apps? I know people have suggested clubbing but there are so many of us who don't club and don't want to club. Some also suggested having more gay friends so that they will introduce you to other guys, which brings us back to square one. Some say go to the gym, but I can't see it as a fruitful avenue. Despite the number of online avenues available, meeting people is not getting easier for a multitude of reasons (imposters, tedious chatting before meeting, etc). 

 

Those people whose mouths are permanently sore and foul, who are always waiting to lash out at others for some reason or another, who are always seeking ways to feel superior to others and those who cannot put themselves in the shoes of others (by far the most), please refrain from commenting. Thank you. 

 

Well, yes it is quite frustrating on apps if you are sincerely looking for something more genuine.

Most people seek fun, even people who seeking friends and ltr, more often than ever will lost patience in chatting in an "anonymous" form.

Yes, like the way you put it "Tedious Chats" dun normally comes with a good ending.

 

Even if you say you dun mind looks but seeking personality and chemistry. Some physique attraction has to be there to bring your "yearning" to continue the exploration of each other.

 

I believe noone is "unwanted", in any point of our life.....we do get people who really fancy us. But it was our expectations that make us yearn for better ones to come.

 

It seem through my circle of friends, those who stay long with one another are always those that are not comparatively "comparable". One is better looking, the other is fat, one is older and the other is younger, one is manly and the other is effeminate. Sometimes, in a relationship, we seek for something from our partner that we fall short of. ^_^ 

 

 

 

 

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Rice60640 Enthusiast

Rice60640

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Do you have hobbies or interests? Do the things you love, not the things that you think will find you a husband. Be at ease with yourself. Love yourself. Someone will notice you when you are happy and not too eager. Continue to meet people and chat with them. Have some great meals together.  Have some great sex along the way.  Learn some new things. Eventually a relationship or several relationships may happen to you or not, what is important is that you've lived a full life.

Edited by Rice60640
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I met my first bf at a comic book rental shop. He kept stealing glances at me and always stay near by. After bumping into him for few times I followed him to the toilet and that's when we started chatting. We dated a few times before I hv sec with him. Our relationship lasted about a year.

 

I met my 2nd bf in front of a gay club. He chatted me up and we hv sec that night. We like each other and then and the relationship lasted for 2 years before he got so bz with work and no time for me. We departed in peace.

 

I met my 3rd bf at the condo I used to stayed.  he always watched me swim in the evening and later joined me at the sauna room. We became friend for a while before I accepted his invitation to visit his unit. He prepared a romantic candle light dinner and wine. Naturally we hv sex and got attached. Tho our relationship lasted only about 6 months before I found out he was married and his wife is living at Melbourne!

 

I met my current bf of 9 years from gay chat room. We chat for a while before we tall on the phone. Then dated and hv sex. Till now we are doing fine.

 

Have not tried any gay app. But my advice is opportunities is everywhere. Just have to open your eyes and jump in when u get the chance!

 

Good luck!

 

 

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reflector85 Newbie

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Well, the 'right' 1 doesn't comes along so easily isn't it? I met my ex and got tgt for 6 months before I know he was cheating on me. After which, had dated a few guys but didn't work out. Worse part is he told me he doesn't like me after 6 months.. I srsly don't know what takes him so long to realise that 

 

It makes me wonder at times, so hard to be love ma?

Edited by reflector85

--- To infinity and beyond ---

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Guest

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I've never used a gay / dating app. Way too dubious. 

Will it help if you attend gay events ? Or volunteer at LGBT events? That may be helpful to make like minded friends and you can move from there? 

I'm only 26 but I really miss times where social media and Apps were not too common. 

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ChenL Newbie

ChenL

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i missed out so many things when I was studying in sg.. Busy to act straight and my studies, and now I damn regret... Now I back to my country and live with my parents, basically no chance to get freedom for now....

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darkflame Newbie

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I think maintaining relationships have become harder ironically with more technology.

But that just means our way of handling relationships may be obsolete.

 

Personally, if you are volunteering, doing so for the purpose of finding someone will make you lose focus in volunteering gradually.

 

These days, when I can maximise my time to do stuff efficiently, concerns for getting into a relationship have taken a backseat far behind many stuff.

Image00109.jpg

I'm always running after you.

You are my ideal.

You are me.

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dreamerboy Newbie

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More activities for members to mingle please! Also, to draw out the discreet ones, it is best to book a location rather than have it in public, or choose a quiet place. Not everyone is comfortable with the possibility of their friends seeing them with an assortment of guys, a bunch of strangers with whom they may or may not click with. 

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Guest Glyph

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On 4/27/2016 at 7:34 AM, EasleyLim said:

Umm, IG = Interest Group, lol. 

 

Might just be me who use that acronym, hahah.

 

Your nerd is starting to show, my friend.

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lonelyglobe Veteran

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On ‎26‎/‎4‎/‎2016 at 8:07 AM, Rice60640 said:

Do you have hobbies or interests? Do the things you love, not the things that you think will find you a husband. Be at ease with yourself. Love yourself. Someone will notice you when you are happy and not too eager. Continue to meet people and chat with them. Have some great meals together.  Have some great sex along the way.  Learn some new things. Eventually a relationship or several relationships may happen to you or not, what is important is that you've lived a full life.

if nobody buy u gift on your birthday, buy yourself...if nobody travel with you, travel alone then, u won't want to stop exploring beautiful places just because there is no companion, life continues wheather u have or don't have that someone special, having said that, of course it will be nice to have someone to grow old with I suppose.

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Guest Teatree

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You always got a choice - to be choosy or not choosy. If not choosy, there is a big pool of mature singles out there for you to tap on. Only if you are not concerned about looks and bod.

 

But if you remain choosy, then continue your waiting game.

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31 minutes ago, Guest Teatree said:

You always got a choice - to be choosy or not choosy. If not choosy, there is a big pool of mature singles out there for you to tap on. Only if you are not concerned about looks and bod.

 

But if you remain choosy, then continue your waiting game.

 

Sad but true. Many lonely singles out there wasting their youth away waiting for that perfect guy who never comes.

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jackrezal Apprentice

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8 hours ago, lonelyglobe said:

if nobody buy u gift on your birthday, buy yourself...if nobody travel with you, travel alone then, u won't want to stop exploring beautiful places just because there is no companion, life continues wheather u have or don't have that someone special, having said that, of course it will be nice to have someone to grow old with I suppose.

It is very true as lonelyglobe has mentioned. Life does go one even if all you do the whole day is whine and groan and complain about why everyone else is happier than you. Good advice for me also who is always so lazy and don't know what to do about the non-existent relationship part of my life. Just enjoy living!

 

On 4/27/2016 at 0:01 AM, ChenL said:

i missed out so many things when I was studying in sg.. Busy to act straight and my studies, and now I damn regret... Now I back to my country and live with my parents, basically no chance to get freedom for now....

Take one step at a time. I'm not sure where back home is for you but I'm sure when you start working, there will be opportunities to explore and grow further, maybe even stay by yourself or with friends? The past is indeed gone and there is nothing (no technology yet) that we can do to change it. Learn from your mistakes and there will be less to regret. But I don't think being busy with your studies is that big a regret plus acting straight is a natural thing to do in a world where we are taught of the place for man and woman. So, don't give up, enjoy life and be the best you can be (I should be ashamed of myself telling you this when I myself am just a lazy couch potato and I just bought a t-shirt proclaiming to be a television marathon champion :P but that's just me)

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Have to start from hookups but not with people around your normal lifestyle.

That said please be restraint during the many opportunities when you meet someone.  Most just wanted sex . If you only go for simple clean fun you will realise that there is this particular group ( the ones who conform to my style ) who can be converted to bf/husband.  Those for hardcore sex will definitely drop you out as boring. Be thankful as sensibly it means not sharing their high risk exposure.  The would be bf/husbands tend to want to do more level of sex with you.  It would develop into closer relationship in the process of knowing more of you while intimacy increases.

Voila... good luck my friend!  

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ChenL Newbie

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Très bien~ 

15 minutes ago, Guest said:

Have to start from hookups but not with people around your normal lifestyle.

That said please be restraint during the many opportunities when you meet someone.  Most just wanted sex . If you only go for simple clean fun you will realise that there is this particular group ( the ones who conform to my style ) who can be converted to bf/husband.  Those for hardcore sex will definitely drop you out as boring. Be thankful as sensibly it means not sharing their high risk exposure.  The would be bf/husbands tend to want to do more level of sex with you.  It would develop into closer relationship in the process of knowing more of you while intimacy increases.

Voila... good luck my friend!  

 

 

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Rice60640 Enthusiast

Rice60640

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On April 30, 2016 at 0:19 PM, Guest said:

 

Sad but true. Many lonely singles out there wasting their youth away waiting for that perfect guy who never comes.

 

I blame it on the Disney princesses.  There is no such thing as a Prince Charming. Prince Charming is in the eye of the beholder. Your Prince Charming maybe some else's troll. So, forget about the happily ever after.  Be happy now and let the ever after take care of itself. 

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Guest Lonelysoul

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Hiiii, I just want to find out how do guys here find partners?

 

I am still discreet so I don't go to bars or any gay gatherings etc. I use jackd and grindr but not up to any luck I would say. 

 

In terms of look im not photogenic and don't really like taking photos but people did have said I'm good looking and some say cute so because of that photos of myself don't really help me :( and I don't know what should I do.

 

advice please :)

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sum1outhere_03 Proficient

sum1outhere_03

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Sorry off track a bit here...

 

On 4/27/2016 at 10:37 AM, mate69 said:

IG : Instagram

That's what we heard most, isn't it? lol, and I thought so too :D

 

On 4/28/2016 at 7:34 AM, EasleyLim said:

Umm, IG = Interest Group, lol. 

 

Might just be me who use that acronym, hahah.

And you're right Easley! LOL. Actually it's in the list of acronym...

 

Surprisingly Instagram is not! It's probably used by the Taiwanese world (we were so influenced by them, aren't we?)

Here's the evidence:

http://acronyms.thefreedictionary.com/IG

Edited by sum1outhere_03

Will you be my valentine's? :D

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Guest Guest

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13 hours ago, Guest Lonelysoul said:

Hiiii, I just want to find out how do guys here find partners?

 

I am still discreet so I don't go to bars or any gay gatherings etc. I use jackd and grindr but not up to any luck I would say. 

 

In terms of look im not photogenic and don't really like taking photos but people did have said I'm good looking and some say cute so because of that photos of myself don't really help me :( and I don't know what should I do.

 

advice please :)

Get a professional photographer 

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Guest Lala

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I've been single for a very long time. The last relationship that I had lasted only 3 days. Please advise how to get a long lasting relationship

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Guest Boyfriend

Guest Boyfriend

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Instead of simply listing your personal stats, your position in bed... why don't u start the conversation going by listing down your interests, your passion, what you are good at, what you are not so good at, exactly what you want to improve on, etc. Theres so many things to kickstart a convo instead of the usual "seek?" and then wait for hours to get a 5 word reply from the other side. No wonder Singaporeans find it so hard to find love, not because of expectations but because they do not know how to be more detailed and forthcoming in their responses.

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