How to React to an Ex who was a Hunk but now an Old Uncle?

[Guest Grossed Out]

This has nothing to do with Age for a start. 

 

Although not having kept in touch for at least 2 decades (letting go means forgetting the bad romance), a mischievous moment after reading a Blowing Wind thread suddenly caused a google of his name. And it was easy to get images as well since he is rather a public figure (which he self-admitted was the advantage of working with an organisation that is lacking in the looks department).

Some old photos of his younger days popped up and of course the nice memories of two young professionals going out to many events and activities that drew admiring stares. 

But when some recent ones popped up like a social event he attended a month of so ago with a woman (he can be quite charming to female colleagues) next to him, the immediate reaction was one of disbelief and mild disgust. Only in his early 50s. he already looked like your average heartland neighbourhood uncle except dressed in coat and cutesy (sometimes he is just daring while straight acting) bow tie. He is obviously not spending his very fat income wisely.  

 

It was truly a moment of shocked recoil and looking back. breaking up was really fair and thank goodness, he was, after all the manly and better looking one.  Should I rejoice about a close shave with a horrible ending? 

[Guest Expat]

On the flip side, maybe you should mourn your loss. You won't be so attractive yourself some day if you still are so. If he has a fat income, he'll be comfortable until his end.

 

And if you'd stayed together and you loved him, by now after two decades you would see well past his appearance. Most couples are just friends by two decades. You lost a friend with a fat income.

 

The tone of your post feels ugly

[Guest Guest]

1 hour ago, Guest Expat said:

On the flip side, maybe you should mourn your loss. You won't be so attractive yourself some day if you still are so. If he has a fat income, he'll be comfortable until his end.

 

And if you'd stayed together and you loved him, by now after two decades you would see well past his appearance. Most couples are just friends by two decades. You lost a friend with a fat income.

 

The tone of your post feels ugly

Hear hear! The post sounds very sour. And by the sounds of it, TS will also be no spring chicken.

[GachiMuchi]

6 hours ago, Guest Grossed Out said:

This has nothing to do with Age for a start. 

 

Although not having kept in touch for at least 2 decades (letting go means forgetting the bad romance), a mischievous moment after reading a Blowing Wind thread suddenly caused a google of his name. And it was easy to get images as well since he is rather a public figure (which he self-admitted was the advantage of working with an organisation that is lacking in the looks department).

Some old photos of his younger days popped up and of course the nice memories of two young professionals going out to many events and activities that drew admiring stares. 

But when some recent ones popped up like a social event he attended a month of so ago with a woman (he can be quite charming to female colleagues) next to him, the immediate reaction was one of disbelief and mild disgust. Only in his early 50s. he already looked like your average heartland neighbourhood uncle except dressed in coat and cutesy (sometimes he is just daring while straight acting) bow tie. He is obviously not spending his very fat income wisely.  

 

It was truly a moment of shocked recoil and looking back. breaking up was really fair and thank goodness, he was, after all the manly and better looking one.  Should I rejoice about a close shave with a horrible ending? 

 

If you are my ex, I am glad to have nothing to do with you. If you love someone, you would love him for who he is, past and present.

Only a superficial and shallow person goes for the looks and the fat income.

I am sure you will be single for a long long time because you don't know what love is and how to love.
You don't deserve anyone but yourself.

底你单身一世！(Cantonese)

[Cube3]

6 hours ago, Guest Grossed Out said:

This has nothing to do with Age for a start. 

 

 

Yet you are trying to age-shame, appearance-shame? Or fat-shame him...? Trying to sound non-discriminatory, but that's exactly what you do: bully and discriminate.

[Guest Judge]

7 hours ago, Guest Grossed Out said:

 of This has nothing to do with Age for a start. 

 

Although not having kept in touch for at least 2 decades (letting go means forgetting the bad romance), a mischievous moment after reading a Blowing Wind thread suddenly caused a google of his name. And it was easy to get images as well since he is rather a public figure (which he self-admitted was the advantage of working with an organisation that is lacking in the looks department).

Some old photos of his younger days popped up and of course the nice memories of two young professionals going out to many events and activities that drew admiring stares. 

But when some recent ones popped up like a social event he attended a month of so ago with a woman (he can be quite charming to female colleagues) next to him, the immediate reaction was one of disbelief and mild disgust. Only in his early 50s. he already looked like your average heartland neighbourhood uncle except dressed in coat and cutesy (sometimes he is just daring while straight acting) bow tie. He is obviously not spending his very fat income wisely.  

 

It was truly a moment of shocked recoil and looking back. breaking up was really fair and thank goodness, he was, after all the manly and better looking one.  Should I rejoice about a close shave with a horrible ending? 

 

Any pics to support, we need to see how good you are !!! Else SHUT UP!!!!

[Ben S]

all living creature will age ... after certain age, human looks/appearance can only go downhill from there.

 

So, it is up to the person him/her self to try to look after him/her self physically and keeping healthy.

if they can still look great in 50s .... that's great.

if not ... well, that's life.

Personally, I think everyone judge others (looks, wealth, etc) ... whether it's good idea to say it in public, that's debatable (mostly negative than positive)

 

my point is

if you think you made the right choice and should rejoice ... sure, go for it ... but choose wisely who you're sharing your opinion/story/judgement with

[Guest]

9 hours ago, Guest Grossed Out said:

This has nothing to do with Age for a start. 

 

Although not having kept in touch for at least 2 decades (letting go means forgetting the bad romance), a mischievous moment after reading a Blowing Wind thread suddenly caused a google of his name. And it was easy to get images as well since he is rather a public figure (which he self-admitted was the advantage of working with an organisation that is lacking in the looks department).

Some old photos of his younger days popped up and of course the nice memories of two young professionals going out to many events and activities that drew admiring stares. 

But when some recent ones popped up like a social event he attended a month of so ago with a woman (he can be quite charming to female colleagues) next to him, the immediate reaction was one of disbelief and mild disgust. Only in his early 50s. he already looked like your average heartland neighbourhood uncle except dressed in coat and cutesy (sometimes he is just daring while straight acting) bow tie. He is obviously not spending his very fat income wisely.  

 

It was truly a moment of shocked recoil and looking back. breaking up was really fair and thank goodness, he was, after all the manly and better looking one.  Should I rejoice about a close shave with a horrible ending? 

beauty in the eye of beholder....i guess you dun know how to love a person and whoever with you - his eye got stamp on it. LOL

 

try not to judge a person by his cover or outlook.

 

 

 

 

[sgmaven]

While we all try to age gracefully, even more tragic are those who are old, but pretend to be spring-chickens (when it is so obvious to all around that they are no longer young). Come on, growing old is part of life. If you are unable to accept that fact, I think you need help. And if all that matters is the looks of an individual, then such shallow behaviour would reap what it sows.

[Beefycub]

don't think u can look at the young and mature dudes in the same way.

u can never compare a 20yo bod with a 50yo bod.

even if the 50yo gyms like fuck and spends money to nip/tuck, both bods will still feel different, it's just life.

but the appeal of the 50yo is not just physical, for some of them, it's their sense of humor, comfort, calmness they exude, which are fuck-sexy too. 

ps: again, not sayin all mature dudes can be like that either.

 

 

 

[LeanMature]

You are still jealous of him and couldn't forget him after 20 years. 

[fab]

Same as everyone else.

 

With respect.

[paddle_up]

Personally, looks and bods should never be one’s only assets as these are inevitably depreciating assets;

 

as one ages, I would expect nicer personality, mild temper, more accommodating and forgiving become attractive attributes that make mature men dashing. Due mainly to their charisma. 

[auscent]

U can rejoice at his ageing esp if the ex has treated u like shit in the past. Just dont forget everyone ages!

[blueblueblue]

I would ask myself am I any better?

[Guest Michael]

Why do you need to react , just say hi and chat 

[Guest Grossed Out]

Well, thank you for some of the strong and anti-ageism reactions.. 

I guess many of you are putting yourself in a similar position to him. 

First he will never be a friend with a fat income but a very well paid stingy philanderer; he only limits one rubber for his own use! Shocking but true.  I chose to let go. 

There is no bitterness or sourness really although some of comments appear to be consequences of past rejection. Why should anyone regret letting go of a bad romance? 

As for being single, isn't it better rather than to end up being battered, abused and living with some people with very vocal opinions and violent outbursts?  We have seen enough of some people being treated like dirt by the bf and still sticks to him  like super glue because others think he is such a good catch. . 

And we all know too well if one has a bf who has both looks and money in the community, the green-eyed aunties will come up with all kinds of assumptions, accusations and condemnations. Yes when we were together, we already experienced these testy nasties, trying to break us up with all kinds of tale bearing and sowing mistrust, so that they can get closer to him. 

There is nothing to shame too as many of you mentioned the inevitability of growing old but factually based on the photos, it only appears to be faster and more damaging for him. 

Let's admit it, While some love gurus insist on lovey-dovey notions of what love should be, we still have to face reality. 

Spring chicken or not, the love indeed has to come from within and for yourself and others. Be nice to others with your words too. 

[Guest LetGo]

Live n let live.... u shd be happier if u can learn to let go!

[Guest Blank]

So true, my crush is 30 this year and got uncle look. Glad we didn't start this or I'll be stuck with him

[Steve5380]

If a 30 y.o. has an uncle look to you,  you must be around 10 years old?   

[tomcat]

On 11/27/2018 at 1:20 PM, paddle_up said:

as one ages, I would expect nicer personality, mild temper, more accommodating and forgiving become attractive attributes that make mature men dashing. Due mainly to their charisma. 

true, an older individual who still displays the propensity for cattiness, tantrums or emotional outbursts is more than a little unfortunate. 

i suppose, it is our assumption that with age comes maturity and wisdom - however this is not always the case, especially if one has lived a careless life without really refining himself. the saying that men age like fine wine is true because the true and good men go through the wringer, take on their life lessons and steel them into his being until he is formed and in total calm ownership of himself.

such individuals are actually very rare - to be made stronger not by stubbornness but by humility of knowing how to become a better man.

I am one who favours the mature man myself, and most of the time, it is their simple confidence and acceptance of who they are (weaknesses and strengths) that makes them very attractive to me. that, and the knowledge/wisdom they have and share with me, as well as, the calm they possess in almost all eventualities - it ticks all the boxes. 

ultimately, it is sexy to be with someone who knows himsel - regardless of age.

 

[Ivan Lim]

Ouch, I'm 30 this year and to me, if I like someone, it's not for the looks but for the 'mentality' which is why some times I find it hard to find a partner in SG with the same mindset.

[Guest Guest]

It ia the law of nature to decay and die. So don't be so judgmental to the way how your ex looks now. You will become like him sooner.

[yag123123]

On 11/26/2018 at 9:40 PM, Guest Grossed Out said:

This has nothing to do with Age for a start. 

 

Although not having kept in touch for at least 2 decades (letting go means forgetting the bad romance), a mischievous moment after reading a Blowing Wind thread suddenly caused a google of his name. And it was easy to get images as well since he is rather a public figure (which he self-admitted was the advantage of working with an organisation that is lacking in the looks department).

Some old photos of his younger days popped up and of course the nice memories of two young professionals going out to many events and activities that drew admiring stares. 

But when some recent ones popped up like a social event he attended a month of so ago with a woman (he can be quite charming to female colleagues) next to him, the immediate reaction was one of disbelief and mild disgust. Only in his early 50s. he already looked like your average heartland neighbourhood uncle except dressed in coat and cutesy (sometimes he is just daring while straight acting) bow tie. He is obviously not spending his very fat income wisely.  

 

It was truly a moment of shocked recoil and looking back. breaking up was really fair and thank goodness, he was, after all the manly and better looking one.  Should I rejoice about a close shave with a horrible ending? 

Boy Boy still dont know what love is...

 

I mistakenly insulted this person in my life at that time, i am confused and unable to accept his advances...he said he love me and i distance myself and by being mean...at that time i thought if he can take my worst then he deserve my best when i am ready

 

Long story short..he came back , we came together and he left me.during my poly days..maybe due to not being able to forgive me or out of revenge

 

It taught me...looks in a relantionship dont matter much...love is all about the heart

 

We can be totally different personalities and believes but love is about compromising these differences and accepting each other for who he is.

 

 

Edited October 31, 2019 by yag123123

[blueblueblue]

Better to be a “has been” than a “never was”

[feedersmiracle]

Am attached to someone older than me and initially I was worried about his looks and him not fulfilling my standards but after 2 years, my worries have changed into being afraid that he will pass away before me or how our old age living together will be like...

 

Being in a fruitful rs does make your brain change priorities huh, either that or what researchers say about brain development ending at 25 actually being true.

Edited November 1, 2019 by feedersmiracle
Failed my English

[Guest DonDiablo37]

It is inevitable that we grow old and youthful look will pass away

[fitcubsg]

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.....that being said, beauty does fade, what you are left with, is a good heart.

Its in the genes, some people have good ones to remain looking youthful or like me, practice the good phrase, everything in moderation and maintain your health and looks.

Suffice to say, that is a mean thing to say, am sure beneath those words of no malice, am sure there is something more than meets the eye.

So what happens when you grow older and loose it? the tables will tip over on your side. So dont be quick to judge unless you want to be judged yourself.

Also for all the posts about aging, nothing works besides going under to get beauty procedures or be close to your aesthetic doctor 🙂

[lonelyglobe]

50 is not called old uncle,  is now refer to as "young senior" if that sound better. 

[Guest guest]

 

50 is not called old uncle,  is now refer to as "young senior" if that sound better. 

LOL...yes, "young senior"...can receive majulah package.

[Steve5380]

 

This has nothing to do with Age for a start. 

 

Although not having kept in touch for at least 2 decades (letting go means forgetting the bad romance), a mischievous moment after reading a Blowing Wind thread suddenly caused a google of his name. And it was easy to get images as well since he is rather a public figure (which he self-admitted was the advantage of working with an organisation that is lacking in the looks department).

Some old photos of his younger days popped up and of course the nice memories of two young professionals going out to many events and activities that drew admiring stares. 

But when some recent ones popped up like a social event he attended a month of so ago with a woman (he can be quite charming to female colleagues) next to him, the immediate reaction was one of disbelief and mild disgust. Only in his early 50s. he already looked like your average heartland neighbourhood uncle except dressed in coat and cutesy (sometimes he is just daring while straight acting) bow tie. He is obviously not spending his very fat income wisely.  

 

It was truly a moment of shocked recoil and looking back. breaking up was really fair and thank goodness, he was, after all the manly and better looking one.  Should I rejoice about a close shave with a horrible ending? 

 

Don't feel bad about your feelings of disgust, grossed out,  and the reactions given here to your post.  Hopefully you live a long life, and in some more decades your feelings will change to some of nostalgia and acceptance of the relationship you had with him.   What you had with him was LIFE, and life is an asset we keep accumulating.  Then with time, life episodes lose some importance, and all what matters then is what you have become. And this, what you will have become,  is in your hands.  Good luck!

[Guest Pilot]

This reminds me of Jerry Yeo. Totally transformed into another person. And he is only 37 years old. 

[thkr]

omg.. that's him. I glanced the title but didn't know.. now i've seen his other pics.. i rmb him.. oh goodness.. changed completely.

Edited August 24, 2023 by thkr

[radiusulnar]

i think the reaction will depend on how things ended. if it was amicable and looking back, there is a twinge of sorrow and what could have been, it would be a warm reaction of how time has flown and how time spares no one.

 

if it was a bust up, then it would be a schadenfreude moment. 

[repressednerd]

[benedict5856]

 

This reminds me of Jerry Yeo. Totally transformed into another person. And he is only 37 years old. 

 

In fact he is cuter in his looks now. YOunger looks like a flirt

[Guest Guest]

If u frequently swim as early as 7am at e pool, I m sure u will notice some 50-60yo dad bod uncles still haf a naughty manly look even tho they haf past their hunky yrs.

Dun tell me u will not be turn on by them?

[Guest So Malu!]

 

LOL...yes, "young senior"...can receive majulah package.

The Majulah package is too little and stingy.  Should be called malu package.   I won't publicly sing about it.

[singalion]

just react normal. Past is past... not all hunk guys are able to remain in shape... The majority doesn't...

 

I think it is more relevant for young people not to bulk up too much and maintain a healthy weight.

 

So many 3 - 5 year kids in Singapore look like they intend to start a Sumo career...

 

 

[Steve5380]

 

 

So many 3 - 5 year kids in Singapore look like they intend to start a Sumo career...

 

 

It is the same in America.    Now we are starting to have diabetes, fatty liver in children!  All victims of the criminality of the food industry...

 

In a place like Singapore with so many Asians who are Buddhists,  they should realize that any satisfaction because someone has lost his good looks will create a truck load of bad karma that will accelerate the loss of good looks for the one who feels that way.

[Guest Huh?]

 

 

In a place like Singapore with so many Asians who are Buddhists,  they should realize that any satisfaction because someone has lost his good looks will create a truck load of bad karma that will accelerate the loss of good looks for the one who feels that way.

What are you trying to drive at?

[singalion]

Steve5380 is simply trying to drive you nuts as you bother to react to any of his posts...

 

You just evidenced it once again...

 

[Steve5380]

 

What are you trying to drive at?

 

Exactly what I wrote.   When you suddenly see your ex after two decades and he changed from hunk to old uncle,  you should not feel disgust for past events or feelings that he deserved it, but wish him the best.

[Guest Guest]

 

This has nothing to do with Age for a start. 

 

Although not having kept in touch for at least 2 decades (letting go means forgetting the bad romance), a mischievous moment after reading a Blowing Wind thread suddenly caused a google of his name. And it was easy to get images as well since he is rather a public figure (which he self-admitted was the advantage of working with an organisation that is lacking in the looks department).

Some old photos of his younger days popped up and of course the nice memories of two young professionals going out to many events and activities that drew admiring stares. 

But when some recent ones popped up like a social event he attended a month of so ago with a woman (he can be quite charming to female colleagues) next to him, the immediate reaction was one of disbelief and mild disgust. Only in his early 50s. he already looked like your average heartland neighbourhood uncle except dressed in coat and cutesy (sometimes he is just daring while straight acting) bow tie. He is obviously not spending his very fat income wisely.  

 

It was truly a moment of shocked recoil and looking back. breaking up was really fair and thank goodness, he was, after all the manly and better looking one.  Should I rejoice about a close shave with a horrible ending? 

Just let him fuck lah.  Give it to him.

[calvt]

Just had a chat with him couple of weeks ago when I saw him randomly at a mall. We had a simple lunch then and a nice chat. I just wanted to make sure we are okay. He is busy with his family and kids and although is a chub now compared to his gym built body the last time we parted. I don't care because I loved him still. I still see his beautiful eyes and there was love too. He held my hand tightly in his car as he dropped me off at another place. He wanted my phone number, I told him better don't. It was a nice closure. I think it's okay to end that chapter now.

Edited September 6, 2023 by calvt

[LeanMature]

 

 

It is the same in America.    Now we are starting to have diabetes, fatty liver in children!  All victims of the criminality of the food industry...

 

In a place like Singapore with so many Asians who are Buddhists,  they should realize that any satisfaction because someone has lost his good looks will create a truck load of bad karma that will accelerate the loss of good looks for the one who feels that way.

 

Only Buddhists ?

[whitefuck]

 

Just had a chat with him couple of weeks ago when I saw him randomly at a mall. We had a simple lunch then and a nice chat. I just wanted to make sure we are okay. He is busy with his family and kids and although is a chub now compared to his gym built body the last time we parted. I don't care because I loved him still. I still see his beautiful eyes and there was love too. He held my hand tightly in his car as he dropped me off at another place. He wanted my phone number, I told him better don't. It was a nice closure. I think it's okay to end that chapter now.

 

That is damn good, son.  Yup, gonna be there is still love between you two, damn sweet.  daddy myself, yup, broke up with my boy after 6 years when i was 28 years old, as gonna be marrying my pussy.  We do meet up back in houston whenever i gonna be back for visitation, he gonna used my cock like he owned it all the time.