worldangel Posted January 12, 2022 Report Share Posted January 12, 2022 Joke: A Couple of Stiff Ones A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice looking girl behind the wheel. There was a strong liquor smell all over the car. "I am going to give you a Breathalyzer test,” he said. “That will show whether or not you are under the influence of alcohol.” She blew up the balloon and the cop walked it back to the police car. After a minute or two, he returned to the girl’s car. “Well, it looks like you’ve had a couple of stiff ones,” he said. “You mean it shows that too?!?!” she asked, surprised. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 12, 2022 Report Share Posted January 12, 2022 Joke: If He Can Have Sex An 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defence. "Your Honour," she began coolly, "I figured that at 92, if he could have sex, he could fly!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 23, 2022 Report Share Posted January 23, 2022 Joke: Saran Wrap As Underwear A man goes to a psychiatrist office wearing nothing but saran-wrap as underwear. The psychiatrist looks at him and says, "I can clearly see you are nuts!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 23, 2022 Report Share Posted January 23, 2022 Joke: Mad Cow Disease Two cows were talking in the field one day. First Cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?" Second Cow replies, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn't it?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 23, 2022 Report Share Posted January 23, 2022 Joke: A New Pair NIKE just came out with a new pair of trainers aimed towards the lesbian demographic. They come with an extra long tongue and you can get them off with one finger. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 23, 2022 Report Share Posted January 23, 2022 Joke: Civil Rights Bill A reporter asked this dumb redneck what he thought about the President's Civil Rights Bill. He answered, “If he owes it, I reckon he should pay it." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 23, 2022 Report Share Posted January 23, 2022 Joke: Their Genitals Are Where? “It’s common knowledge,” said the zoology student, “that elephants have their genital in their feet.” “Really?” said the professor. “Absolutely,” smiled the pupil. “If they step on you, you are fxcked! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 24, 2022 Report Share Posted January 24, 2022 Joke: I Hate Her “You don’t seem to like the new tutor?” his mother asked. “I hate her,” screamed little Johnny, “I’d like to grab her and bite her on the back of the neck... like daddy does.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 24, 2022 Report Share Posted January 24, 2022 Joke: Who's the Lucky One? A blind, a deaf and a cross-eyed go to the show. The blind did not see but heard, and said it was nice. The deaf saw it and said it was nice. The cross-eyed one said, "I am the lucky one, I saw, it twice!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 24, 2022 Report Share Posted January 24, 2022 Joke: Lovely Moon “Isn’t the moon lovely?” she sighed. “If you say so,” answer her boyfriend. “I’m in no position to say.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 24, 2022 Report Share Posted January 24, 2022 Joke: Marry Virgins Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 24, 2022 Report Share Posted January 24, 2022 Joke: When She Married Jack When her friends got word that Salome, a beautiful young starlet had married Jack, and elderly producer worth billions… They all sent her 'Get Will' cards Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 24, 2022 Report Share Posted January 24, 2022 Joke: The Horny Skeleton What did the dead-tired skeleton wife say to her way horny skeleton husband when he was getting way to close for comfort in their coffin? "Honey, I know you're just dying to get in, but sorry I have a skull-splitting headache tonight!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 24, 2022 Report Share Posted January 24, 2022 Joke: Why Little Boys Whine Why do little boys whine? They're practicing to be men. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 24, 2022 Report Share Posted January 24, 2022 Joke: Chickens Don't Wear Shorts Why doesn’t a chicken wear shorts? Because his pecker is on his face! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 24, 2022 Report Share Posted January 24, 2022 Joke: A Large Stiff One After noticing a beautiful young redhead sitting alone at the bar, a young stud confidently strolls over to her side and says, “What can I get you, gorgeous?” The woman blushes and replies, “If you’re sure you don’t mind, I’ll have a large stiff one, please.” “Would that be before or after I get the drinks?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 24, 2022 Report Share Posted January 24, 2022 Joke: Pig! A man is driving down a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving up the same road. As they pass each other the woman leans out the window and yells, "Pig!" The man immediately leans out his window and replies with, "BITCH!" They each continue on their way, as the man rounds the next corner he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 25, 2022 Report Share Posted January 25, 2022 Joke: When My Wife Gets Mad I hate it when my wife gets mad at me for being lazy. It’s not like I did anything! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 25, 2022 Report Share Posted January 25, 2022 Joke: Doctor Appointment I told the doctor’s receptionist I need an appointment. “How about 10 tomorrow?” she asked. “I don’t need that many,” I replied. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 25, 2022 Report Share Posted January 25, 2022 Joke: Loaning Weight I never actually lose weight anymore. Apparently, I just loan it out and it comes back with interest. And lately, I have been getting great rates of return! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 25, 2022 Report Share Posted January 25, 2022 Joke: Southern Grandmother A southern grandmother went with the family to visit Niagara falls. She decided to order ten hot dogs from the restaurant for the extended family. When her number was called she was given tea and a hot dog. She told the lady that she had ordered ten hot dogs. The lady said, that's what we gave you, tea and a hot dog. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 25, 2022 Report Share Posted January 25, 2022 Joke: You Are Invited To A Party The invitation to the party said: “You are invited to a party for those who cannot have an orgasm." P.S. Let us know if you can't come! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 25, 2022 Report Share Posted January 25, 2022 Joke: My Wife Has Laryngitis A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis. The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it. The man said, "Cure it, I want to prolong it!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 25, 2022 Report Share Posted January 25, 2022 Joke: The Wet Spot Tonight Women of the world unite! It's time to rollover… And let the man sleep in the wet spot tonight! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 25, 2022 Report Share Posted January 25, 2022 Joke: She So Hairy Yo momma is so hairy… You got rug burn during birth! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 25, 2022 Report Share Posted January 25, 2022 Joke: This Is My Sister The non-commissioned officer surprised the private in the barracks with a girl. “Uh-uh, this is my sister, Serge.” the private stuttered. “That’s okay,” the sergeant soothed. “She used to be mine.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 25, 2022 Report Share Posted January 25, 2022 Joke: 25 Years Ago A man, celebrating his 25th anniversary, looked at his wife and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, I lived in a one-room apartment, watched a 15-inch black-and-white TV, and drove a rusty old car. But, every night, I slept with a gorgeous blonde. You're ageing now, and I figure you're not keeping up your appearance like you did all those years ago. I'm not too happy about it." His wife looked back at him and said, "It's true that I'm not what I used to be. But, sleep with a gorgeous blonde tonight, and I'll see that, once again, you're living in a one-room apartment, watching a 15-inch, black-and-white TV, and driving a rusty, old car." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 26, 2022 Report Share Posted January 26, 2022 Joke: I Wish I Were A Ring I wish I were a ring upon my lovers hand… For every time she'd wipe her ass… I would then see the Promise Land! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 26, 2022 Report Share Posted January 26, 2022 Joke: Being A Grandfather A loving couple had their first grandchild and was visibly excited. So the wife asks her husband, "Honey, how does it feel being a grandfather?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 26, 2022 Report Share Posted January 26, 2022 Joke: Eggs In the Morning The man walks up to the pretty lady at the end of the bar, ready with his (so believed) best pick-up line. "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized," she answers casually, and then walks away. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 26, 2022 Report Share Posted January 26, 2022 Joke: One At A Time What is the difference between a college professor and a proctologist? A proctologist only has to deal with one asshole at a time. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 26, 2022 Report Share Posted January 26, 2022 Joke: Are These My Brains? A little 5-year-old was examining his testicles while taking a bath. “Mom,” he asked, “are these my brains?” “Not yet,” replied his mother. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 26, 2022 Report Share Posted January 26, 2022 Joke: The Undressed Comedian What did the comedian say while he was undressing? Haven't you ever seen a comic strip?! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 26, 2022 Report Share Posted January 26, 2022 Joke: Going To Have A Baby Tim goes to his boss’s office and says, “Sir, I need tomorrow off. My wife is going to have a baby.” The boss gives his the day off. Two days later Tim walks into work, and the boss asks, “Was it a boy or a girl?” Tim says, “We won’t know for nine months.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 26, 2022 Report Share Posted January 26, 2022 Joke: Why Did You Get Married? “You and your husband don’t seem to have and awful lot in common,” said the new tenant’s neighbour. “Why on earth did you get married?” “I suppose it was the old business of opposites attract,” was the reply. “He wasn’t pregnant and I was.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 26, 2022 Report Share Posted January 26, 2022 Joke: Available Over the Counter There were two men standing at the medicine isle in the supermarket. The first man said, "Viagra is the greatest drug in the world it has helped my love life and I feel much better about my self." The second man replied, "Wow, it helped you that much! Can you get it over the counter?" The first man said, "If I take two." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 26, 2022 Report Share Posted January 26, 2022 Joke: What's with the Numbers? This guy goes into a bar, orders up a beer, and notices that the patrons are holding slips of paper with numbers written on them. Periodically the numbers are being called over the p.a. system. Curiously, the guy asks the bartender, "What's going on?" So the Bartender breaks it down saying, "It's simple, you order a drink you get a number. If we call your number, you get to go in the back and get laid!" The guy says, "I don't believe it, sounds like bullshit to me." Some drunk guy sitting a few stools down, interrupts, "It's not bullshit, my wife's number has been called 3 times in the last 20 minutes!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 27, 2022 Report Share Posted January 27, 2022 Joke: Packed Up And Left "Yo Momma is so ugly…" "How ugly is she?" "Yo momma is so ugly, her vibrator packed up and left!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 27, 2022 Report Share Posted January 27, 2022 Joke: No Time For Directions Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won't stop to ask directions! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 27, 2022 Report Share Posted January 27, 2022 Joke: Math With His Wife What did the mathematician do to his wife? Subtracted her clothes, divided her legs and square rooted her! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 27, 2022 Report Share Posted January 27, 2022 Joke: You Never Tell Me A man says to his wife, “You never tell me when you have an orgasm.” “You’re never home,” she replies. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 27, 2022 Report Share Posted January 27, 2022 Joke: Screw for the Rake A woman walks in to a hardware store with the head of a rake that's been broken off. She walks up to the counter. The store clerk looks at her, looks at the rake head, then says, "Do you want a screw for that rake?" She looks at him, looks at a fancy toaster on the shelf behind him, and then replies, "No, but I’ll blow you for that toaster." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 27, 2022 Report Share Posted January 27, 2022 Joke: It Worked on the Other Side One night, a man and his wife were watching TV. It was about breast implants. The wife said, ”I wish I had bigger breast.” The man said, ”You don’t have to get silicone breasts, just wipe between your breast with toilet paper.” "How would that work?" asked the wife. The man said, "Well, you have been wiping your butt for 50 years and it's gotten bigger." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 27, 2022 Report Share Posted January 27, 2022 Joke: Are You Sure You Remember the Plan? A Blonde and a Brunette are going to rob a bank. The day before the robbery the brunette turns to the blonde and says, "Do you remember the plan?" "Yes," says the blonde. "Well let's go over it," says the Brunette. The day of the robbery the Brunette insists that they go over the plan again so they do. "You have 5 Minutes," says the Brunette. Twenty minutes go by and finally the Blonde comes out of the bank dragging the safe by a rope she tied to it. The security guard comes running out with his pants around his ankles reaching for is gun. The blonde says, "F*** this", she lets go of the safe, and runs to the car. They are driving away and the Brunette screams. "YOU IDIOT, I TOLD YOU TO TIE UP THE SECURITY GUARD AND BLOW THE SAFE!!!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 27, 2022 Report Share Posted January 27, 2022 Joke: Man's Perfect Breakfast Many a person would ask what is a man's perfect breakfast. This is when an English breakfast is set before him with fresh orange juice. On his right is the Vogue and his daughter is smiling happily on front. On his left his very successful son on the Time's cover. Then when he opens the middle page of the Playboy, he finds his girlfriend on it, and while he throws some more milk in to his coffee, he sees his wife's face on the carton Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 27, 2022 Report Share Posted January 27, 2022 Joke: It Isn't True A man was standing on a train platform when he observed someone near him shouting at one of the departing passenger, “Goodbye. Your wife was a great lay, Your wife was a great lay!” He was stunned. After the train pulled away, he walked over to the man who’d done the shouting, and asked, “Did I hear you correctly? Did you tell that man his wife was a great lay?” The other man shrugged his shoulder. "It isn’t really true,” he said, “but I don’t want to hurt his feelings.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 27, 2022 Report Share Posted January 27, 2022 Joke: A Piece Of String Peter is drinking in a bar, and he sees a guy three stools away every once in a while reach around to tug on a piece of string that is hanging out of the back of his shirt collar. Peter says, “Hey, pal, what’s that string for?” The guy says, “A couple of days ago I had a date with a great girl, and when we got into bed, I couldn’t get a hard-on. It made me so crazy that I tied this string to the end of my dick, and now, every time I think of how it let me down, I pull on the string so my cock can kiss my ass.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 28, 2022 Report Share Posted January 28, 2022 Joke: Three Things You Never Do What are the three things that you never do when you get old? 1. You never pass a bathroom. 2. You never trust a fart. 3. You never waste a hard on. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 28, 2022 Report Share Posted January 28, 2022 Joke: Let Her Go Crazy An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex." "But you are not wearing any of those things," replied the artist. "I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted January 28, 2022 Report Share Posted January 28, 2022 Joke: Sleep In Daddy's Room One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't, dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big pussy." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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