worldangel Posted January 4, 2022 Posted January 4, 2022 Joke: Sarcastic Tattoo Parlour For a while I worked at a sarcastic tattoo parlour. I quit because I couldn’t take the needling. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 4, 2022 Posted January 4, 2022 Joke: Post Office Brawl Did you hear about the brawl at the post office? The stamps got licked by the postmaster. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 4, 2022 Posted January 4, 2022 Joke: Dyslexic Cow Have you heard of the dyslexic cow who attained enlightenment? It kept on repeating OOOOMMM! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 4, 2022 Posted January 4, 2022 Joke: Hello… Hello… Hello Somebody told me that echoes repeat everything back... Where have I heard that before? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 4, 2022 Posted January 4, 2022 Joke: Gray Haired Bond Why did James Bond have gray hair? Because he had no time to dye. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 4, 2022 Posted January 4, 2022 Joke: Halloween Phone Call You so ugly… You so ugly that on Halloween you had to trick or treat over the phone! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 4, 2022 Posted January 4, 2022 Joke: You Are Invited To A Party The invitation to the party said: “You are invited to a party for those who cannot have an orgasm." P.S. Let us know if you can't come! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 4, 2022 Posted January 4, 2022 Joke: It Doesn't Work That Quick After completing their shopping, these two friends were about to drive back home and one of them realized that she’d forgotten to stop at the pharmacy for birth-control pills. Rushing into the nearest drugstore, she handed the prescription to the pharmacist. “Can you fill this quickly?” she asked. “I’ve got someone waiting in the car.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 5, 2022 Posted January 5, 2022 Joke: Arms Dealer I buy all my guns from a guy called “T-Rex”. He’s a small arms dealer. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 5, 2022 Posted January 5, 2022 Joke: Lost An Electron An atom lost an electron. It said, “Man, I really ought to keep an ion them.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 5, 2022 Posted January 5, 2022 Joke: Monopoly Board Game You can tell Monopoly is an old game. Because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 5, 2022 Posted January 5, 2022 Joke: Blonde Police Officers Two blonde police officers crash their patrol car into a tree. After a moment’s silence, the first blonde says to the other, “Wow, I think that’s the quickest we’ve ever got to the scene of an accident.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 5, 2022 Posted January 5, 2022 Joke: Gave Up Seat I gave up my seat on the bus for a blind person. And that’s how I lost my job as a bus driver. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 5, 2022 Posted January 5, 2022 Joke: Sine And Cosine As a child, I was obsessed with the difference between sine and cosine. As I got older, I realized it was just a phase. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 5, 2022 Posted January 5, 2022 Joke: Killer Clowns I, for one, support these crazy killers dressing up like clowns. It was a lot harder to see them coming when they were dressing like cops. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 5, 2022 Posted January 5, 2022 Joke: Wife’s Birthday Present It’s my wife’s birthday in a couple of days and when I asked her what she wanted she said she’d be happy with anything with lots of diamonds in it. She’s going to love this pack of playing cards I’ve bought her. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 5, 2022 Posted January 5, 2022 Joke: Job Qualification I went for a job interview today. The interviewer said, “If you get the job, forget everything you learned in college. You won’t need it working here.” I said, “I didn’t go to college.” She said, “Well then, you’re under-qualified to work here.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 Faking Orgasms Do you know why women fake orgasms? Because men fake foreplay. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 If It Makes You Nauseous A couple is riding in the back of a limo on the way to their honeymoon boat cruise. The husband says, "Honey, I want to stop and pick up some condoms before we go." "Good idea," she says. "While you're in there, pick me up some Dramamine." The groom gets out, walks into the drugstore and says to the clerk, "I'd like a box of condoms and a package of Dramamine, please." "Yes sir," says the clerk, "but do you mind if I ask you a question? If it makes you nauseous, why do you do it?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 Three Nights In A Row Kevin is watching a movie on Friday night and feels rather amorous. He says to his wife, "Hey honey, how about it?” She says, “I have a headache.” Saturday night they are in bed, and he asks, “Sweetheart, how about it?” She says, “I’m too tired.” Sunday night he climbs into bed, puts his arm around her, and says again, “Well how about it?” She pushes him sway and says, “Three nights in a row? What are you, a sex maniac?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 Just Hold Me A couple is getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up and everything. But then the wife stops and says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." The husband says, "WHAT??" The wife explains that he mustn't be angry, that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. Then he realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it. So the next day the man takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each, and then they go to the jewelry department where she gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. He says, "You don't even play tennis, but OK if you like it then let's get it." The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says, "I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register." The man stops and says, "No, I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." The woman's face goes blank. He continues... "I just wanted you to HOLD this stuff for a while." The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode. The guy says, "You need to be in tune with my financial needs as a man." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 8, 2022 Posted January 8, 2022 Joke: A Stranger In Your Room Do you suffer from anxiety that a stranger may be hiding in your room? You're not alone. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 8, 2022 Posted January 8, 2022 Joke: Bigfoot Confusion Bigfoot is sometimes confused with Sasquatch. Yeti never complains! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 8, 2022 Posted January 8, 2022 Joke: Bill's Change "Bill's nowhere near the fool he was." "Has he reformed?" "No, he's dieting." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 8, 2022 Posted January 8, 2022 Joke: My Dog I threw a ball for my dog... It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a Tuxedo. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 8, 2022 Posted January 8, 2022 Joke: High Tech Delivery My sister gave birth in a state-of-the-art delivery room. It was so high tech that the baby came out cordless! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 8, 2022 Posted January 8, 2022 Joke: Were You Caught Too? A man had two parrots, and he was having difficulties figuring out which is a male and which is a female. One day coming back from work he saw that one of the parrots was on top of the other. He caught the one on top and shaved his head, giving him a bald-head, thinking, now he could identify which is the male or female. The following day a friend of the owner of the parrot, who was bald, came looking for the man. The parrot called out to him, "Hey mister!" When the man turned, the parrot said, "Were you caught fxcking too?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 9, 2022 Posted January 9, 2022 Joke: What Kind Of Fish? What kind of fish is made from just two sodium atoms? 2 Na. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 9, 2022 Posted January 9, 2022 Joke: Small Items Only I’ve started a business where I weigh tiny objects. It’s a small-scale operation. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 9, 2022 Posted January 9, 2022 Joke: Quiet Tennis I had a game of quiet tennis today. It’s just like regular tennis but without the racket. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 9, 2022 Posted January 9, 2022 Joke: Narcissim My therapist told me my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 9, 2022 Posted January 9, 2022 Joke: At Least They Listen “Thank you for calling the NSA…” “The only government organization that actually listens to you.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 9, 2022 Posted January 9, 2022 Joke: Conspiracy Theories Conspiracy theories are a lot like moon landings. They’re all fake. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 9, 2022 Posted January 9, 2022 Joke: Thesaurus Breakfast What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 9, 2022 Posted January 9, 2022 Joke: Scrabble Tiles I accidentally swallowed a handful of Scrabble tiles today. My next bowel movement could spell disaster. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 9, 2022 Posted January 9, 2022 Joke: Chemical Reaction My friend fell into a vat of chemicals. Ironically, it was his quick reaction that killed him Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 9, 2022 Posted January 9, 2022 Joke: Sitting On His Lap To surprise her husband, an executive’s wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting on his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 Joke: Group Of Babies What do you call a group of babies? An infantry. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 Joke: Split Personality “I have a split personality” …. Said Tom, being frank. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 Joke: Dead Dog My girlfriend’s dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She went mad, “What am I going to do with two dead dogs?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 Joke: Rainwatcher A guy walked up to me and asked me, "how's life going?". I said, "not sure, can we meet up sometime unannounced to you and have me ask how's your life going?" He said, "no, I don’t think so." I said "well now you know what it feels like, you might aswell have put me infront of a jury" He said "well, I'm sorry I was busy talking to my friends and they dared me to talk to you" To which I replied "well I was busy talking to your mom and she said that she doesn't want you to talk to random people anymore and call them your 'friends'" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 Joke: A Fruit Tree My neighbour was afraid to grow a fruit tree. I told him to grow a pear. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 Joke: The Doctor I went to the doctor the other day and complained about my sore feet. He said: “Gout!” I said: “But I’ve only just walked in!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 Joke: Eating Out I have the most marvelous recipe for meatloaf... All I have to do is mention it to my husband and he says, "Let's eat out." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 Joke: Sherlock Holmes Gets Audited Why did Sherlock Holmes get audited by the IRS? He had too many deductions. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 Joke: Overloaded Police officer: “Your truck is heavily overloaded. I simply cannot let you continue like that. I’m going to have to take away your driver’s license.” Driver: “You’re kidding me, right? The license can only weigh one ounce, tops!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 Joke: Do What I Do Norma and Sonia were talking about their grandchildren after the holidays. Norma said, "My daughter-in-law stopped making my grandchildren send their 'thank you' notes. Each year I sent the grandchildren a card with a generous check inside. I always received a lovely `thank you' note. However, since my daughter-in-law stopped making the grandkids send thank you notes, I never hear from them." Sonia said, "My daughter-in-law never made the grandchildren send `thank you' notes. I too send them a very generous check. However, for the past several years, I hear from them within a week after they receive it. In fact, they each pay me a personal visit." "Wow," remarked Norma. "I wish mine would do that." "You can, Norma, you can." "How?" Norma asked "Simple. Do what I do. Don't sign the check." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 12, 2022 Posted January 12, 2022 Joke: Best Sporting Events Mo: What were the best sporting events you’ve ever attended? Joe: Well, years ago I went to an Indiana-Michigan basketball game. Indiana was coached by the iconic Bobby Knight. Mo: Wow! Joe: And recently, I went to an Ohio State-Michigan football game. Ohio State was coached by the up-and-coming Ryan Day. Mo: Wow again! What were those games like? Joe: They were like Knight and Day! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 12, 2022 Posted January 12, 2022 Joke: It's Where Batman Lives I went to dinner with my husband, a male friend of ours, Jim, and his new girlfriend, Dorothy. While eating dinner we got on the subject of vacations. Dorothy said that she wanted to go to Gotham City for her next vacation. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't a real place. She laughed and said, "It is, too. It's where Batman lives." I laughed and looked over at Jim who smiled and told me she was serious. I then tried to explain. "Batman does not exist. Why do you think there have been four of them: Bale, Clooney, Kilmer and Keaton?" She looked me straight in the eye and said, "That's because he doesn't want anyone to know who he really is." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 12, 2022 Posted January 12, 2022 Joke: I Call It The Rodeo Two guys are in a bar, having a beer and discussing different positions. The first one announces, “My favourite position is ‘the rodeo.’” “How does that one work?” asks his friend. “Well,” the first one replies, “you get your wife on all four on the bed, then do it to her doggy style. When she really starts enjoying it, you whisper in her ear, 'Your sister likes this position, too.' Then you try and hang on for eight seconds!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
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