worldangel Posted June 7, 2020 Report Share Posted June 7, 2020 Joke: A farmer ordered a high-tech machine A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. It happened that the equipment arrived when his wife was away. So he decided to test it on himself first. He inserted his penis into the equipment, turned the switch on, and voila, everything else was automatic! He really had a good time as the equipment provided him with as much pleasure as his wife did. However, when the fun was over, he found that he could not take the instrument off. He read the manual, but did not find any useful information. He tried every button on the instrument - some made the equipment squeeze, shake, or suck harder or less - but still he had no success getting out of it. Panicking, he just barely reached the phone and called the supplier's customer service hotline. The farmer: "Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It worked fantastic. But how can I take it off from the cow's udder?" Customer Service: "Don't worry. The machine was programmed to release automatically after collecting about 2 gallons of milk." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 8, 2020 Report Share Posted June 8, 2020 Joke: Get Some Toilet Paper A blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in the backyard. A bird flew over them and pooped on his head. “Shit,” the man said. “Get some toilet paper.” “What for?” said the girl. “He must be a mile away by now.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 8, 2020 Report Share Posted June 8, 2020 Joke: Today's Motto School Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, I want you to memorize today's motto, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive." Little Johnny: "Yes mam, but I know it already. My father says he has always used that as his motto in his business." Teacher: "Oh, how noble of him! And what is his business?" Little Johnny: "He's a boxer." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 8, 2020 Report Share Posted June 8, 2020 Joke: Shift of Responsibility The new chairman, giving his acceptance speech at the annual meeting of a local society club indicated his concern... "In most associations half the members do most of the work while the other half does nothing. Beginning today this will change. From this day forward this will be reversed!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 8, 2020 Report Share Posted June 8, 2020 Joke: Clueless My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often turns to me for advice. Recently I was in the shower when he poked his head in to ask, "What should I feed Lily for lunch?" "That's up to you," I replied. "There's all kinds of food. Why don't you pretend I'm not home?" A few minutes later, my cell phone rang. I answered it to hear my husband saying, "Yeah, hi, honey. Uh…what should I feed Lily for lunch?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 8, 2020 Report Share Posted June 8, 2020 Joke: Was I born? Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 8, 2020 Report Share Posted June 8, 2020 Joke: Home yet? A middle-aged woman sought help from her doctor. "All my husband does is complain that I never want to have sex with him," she said. "And he's right too. I have no desire at all." The doctor gave her a prescription and told her to return for a visit in two weeks. After the two weeks were up, she bounced smiling into his office. "Those pills were great Doc, I'm doin' it twice a night now." "That's wonderful," said the doctor, "What does your husband say now?" "How should I know?" she replied. "I ain't been home yet." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 9, 2020 Report Share Posted June 9, 2020 Joke: Parking Trip While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat on my face. As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, "Are you hurt?" "No, I'm fine," I said. "Oh, good," she continued, "Will you be vacating your parking space now?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 9, 2020 Report Share Posted June 9, 2020 Joke: Rules Are Rules We are 10 days into self-isolation and it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks. It breaks my heart to see her like this. I have thought very hard about how I can cheer her up. I have even considered letting her in - but rules are rules. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 9, 2020 Report Share Posted June 9, 2020 Joke: Once He Starts Kissing You “The trouble with Bob,” mentioned Sue to her roommate, “is that once he starts kissing you, he never knows where to stop.” “That’s funny,” Deb said. “The last time I went out with him, he found a great place to stop!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 9, 2020 Report Share Posted June 9, 2020 Joke: It's My Turn Tonight Forty men attended a counselling session to exchange views on their sex patterns after marriage. After a short briefing, the counsellor asked how many of them have sex with their wives only once a week. Half of the men raised their hands. The counsellor then asked how many have sex with their wives only once every two weeks. Twelve of the remaining twenty men put up their hands, a little embarrassed. "I presume then the rest of you do have sex with your wives only once a month?" All, except for one of the remaining eight acknowledged. The counsellor turned his attention to this odd-looking guy sitting at the corner of the class, giggling to himself. "Sir, I am sorry to ask, but why are you still smiling since you are not enjoying the same frequency as the rest?" To this the timid man said," Tonight is the night." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 9, 2020 Report Share Posted June 9, 2020 Joke: Divorce A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So, the jury asks the woman first. She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and apart of me." The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question. The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to me or the machine" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 10, 2020 Report Share Posted June 10, 2020 Joke: Cavity Search Request A Police officer asked a stupid criminal why he requested a body cavity search when he was arrested. The criminal replied, "Cause that way I can't be fingered in a line up!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 10, 2020 Report Share Posted June 10, 2020 Joke: I'm Only After One Thing A man parks his car at the supermarket and is walking past an empty cart when he hears a woman ask, “Excuse me, do you want that cart?" “No,” he answers, “I’m only after one thing.” As he gets closer to the store, he hears the woman murmur under her breath, “Typical male!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 10, 2020 Report Share Posted June 10, 2020 Joke: Heart to Heart Talk A woman has a heart to heart talk with her sister. “Sis, I have two boyfriends and I’m very, very happy. One guy is kind, considerate, giving, and handsome.” “Then why do you need the second one?” “He’s straight.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 10, 2020 Report Share Posted June 10, 2020 Joke: Entire Conversation For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the children. She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on her grandchildren. "Oh, I've done all the talking, and I'm so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me... what do you think of my grandchildren?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 10, 2020 Report Share Posted June 10, 2020 Joke: Talcum Powder in the Underwear One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it will take a few inches off of your butt!" His wife was not amused and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What the Hell is this?" he said to himself, as a little dust cloud appeared when he shook them out. "April," he hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put Talcum Powder in my underwear?" She replied with a snicker, "It's not talcum powder, it's Miracle Grow!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 11, 2020 Report Share Posted June 11, 2020 Joke: New Job I've just turned down a job delivering for my local fruit and veg shop. They offered to pay me in vegetables, but the celery was unacceptable. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 11, 2020 Report Share Posted June 11, 2020 Joke: Little Johnny knows Weather Little Johnny's teacher was discussing the weather in chemistry class? She asked, "When rain falls does it ever rise again?" After asking various students she called on Little Johnny. "Yes, it does... in dew time." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 11, 2020 Report Share Posted June 11, 2020 Joke: Rookie Policeman Fresh from graduation the rookie policeman called the precinct to report his first robbery: "Chief, a man has been robbed down here and I've got one of them." Chief: "Great job. Which one of them do you have?" Rookie: "I have the one that has been robbed." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 11, 2020 Report Share Posted June 11, 2020 Joke: Who Did This To You? Doug came home unexpectedly early from work only to find his wife lying in bed naked with large hickies all over her neck and red welts all over her breasts. She had obviously been ravaged in a moment of passion. Doug then noticed a burning cigar on the night stand next to the bed. He screamed at his wife, “What is going on here, who did this to you?" His wife calmly and innocently said, “No one Doug, whenever I try to smoke a cigar, I break out in a rash!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 12, 2020 Report Share Posted June 12, 2020 Joke: Doctor Visit A man visits his doctor and complains that he feels like he has 5 legs. The doctor asks him how do his pants fit? The man replies, "Like a glove!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 12, 2020 Report Share Posted June 12, 2020 Joke: Know the Elements On the first day of class the chemistry professor was asking around the room the elements in the periodic table. "Jones, what does HNO3 signify? Jones, searching for the answer replied, "Well, ah, I've got it right on the tip of my tongue, sir." Professor: "Well, you better spit it out. It's nitric acid." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 12, 2020 Report Share Posted June 12, 2020 Joke: The Psychiatrist's Test A mother was worried that her three-year-old son was unusually precocious, and took him to a psychiatrist. "Right," said the shrink, "We'll just try a few simple tests." To the boy, he said "Say a few words - anything that comes into your mind." The boy turned to his mother and asked, "Does he want logically constructed sentences or just a few random and purely isolated words?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 12, 2020 Report Share Posted June 12, 2020 Joke: You Think You Were Embarrassed Mrs. Schmidlap hires a maid with beautiful blonde hair. The first morning, the girl pulls off the hair and says, "I wear a wig, because I was born totally hairless. Not a hair on my body, not even down there." That night, Mrs. Schmidlap tells her husband. He says, "I've never seen anything like that. Please tomorrow, ask her to go into the bedroom and show you. I want to hide in the closet so I can have a look." The next day, Mrs. Schmidlap asks the girl, the two of them go into the bedroom, and the girl strips and shows her. Then the girl says, "I've never seen one with hair on it. Can I see yours?" So Mrs. Schmidlap pulls off her clothes and shows her. That night, Mrs. Schmidlap says to her husband, "I hope you're satisfied, because I was pretty embarrassed when that girl asked to see mine." Her husband says, "You think you were embarrassed...I had the four guys I play poker with in the closet with me." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 12, 2020 Report Share Posted June 12, 2020 Joke: The Postman Three women are talking about their sex lives. One says, “I call my husband ‘The dentist’ because nobody can drill like he does.” The next says, “Well, I call my husband ‘The Miner’ because he has an incredible shaft.” The third sighs and says, “I call mine ‘The Postman’." “Why the ‘Postman’?" asks one of them. “Because he always delivers late and half the time it’s in the wrong box!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2020 Report Share Posted June 13, 2020 Joke: The Lousy Lover The morning after their honeymoon night, the wife says to her husband, “You know, you are a lousy lover!” The husband replies, “How would you know after only thirty seconds? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2020 Report Share Posted June 13, 2020 Joke: Cold But No Shrinkage Two old ladies are walking through a museum and get separated. When they run into each other later the first old lady says, "Did you see that statue of the naked man back there?" The second lady replies, "Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing. My gosh, the penis on it was so large." And the first old lady blurts out, "AND COLD TOO!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2020 Report Share Posted June 13, 2020 Joke: The Same Bank The same guy has robbed the same bank three times in the last 30 days. The FBI, in charge of preventing a fourth robbery ask the nervous bank teller, "Have you noticed anything in particular about the robber?" "Yes," the teller replied. "I notice that each time he comes into the bank he's much better dressed." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2020 Report Share Posted June 13, 2020 Joke: More Freedom The son has finally saved enough money to buy his own house. It is just a few houses down the road from where his parents still live. On the day he moves in he invites some friends over, turns on the music and drinking a few beers. As the son was making his toast and said, "I don't have to listen to my parents anymore", the phone rings. He goes inside to answer and is silent when he re-joins the party. "Who was that?" ask one of the guests. "Well," replied the son. "It was my father telling me to turn down the music as there are people in the neighbourhood that are trying to sleep." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 13, 2020 Report Share Posted June 13, 2020 Joke: I Bet You 50 He Will A dumb college girl went into a bar. She sat down next to this guy and started watching the news. On the news there was a man getting ready to jump off a bridge. The girl said, “I don’t think that he is going to jump." "No, I am pretty sure he will,” said the guy. The girl lays down a $50 dollar bill and says, “I bet you $50 dollars he won’t." The man lays down a 50 too and says, “I bet you $50 dollars he will." They kept watching and sure enough the man jumped. The girl then pushes the 50 towards him. The guy laughs and says, "I can’t take that. I saw this an hour ago." She says, “No you take it. I saw it an hour ago too. But I never dreamed he would jump again!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2020 Report Share Posted June 14, 2020 Joke: He Lost His Penny Little Johnny came home from Sunday School with the distressing news news that he had lost the penny given to him for the collection. "But Johnny, this is the third Sunday in a row that you have lost your penny," indicated his mother. "Well," replied Johnny, "I gotta win sooner or later." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2020 Report Share Posted June 14, 2020 Joke: Lower My Sex Drive A 97-year old man visits his doctor and says, “Doc, I want my sex drive lowered.” “Sir," replied the doctor, “you are 97. Don’t you think your sex drive is all in your head?” “You are darned right it is!” replied the old man. “That’s why I want lowered!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2020 Report Share Posted June 14, 2020 Joke: Did You Bring Your Own Bag? A man goes shopping at Whole Foods to gets a few things. When he arrives at the checkout register the clerk asks, "Did you bring your own bag?" He responds, "No, she stayed home today." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2020 Report Share Posted June 14, 2020 Joke: Airline Request At the airport check-in counter I overheard a woman ask for window seats for both she and her husband. The clerk pointed out that this would prevent them for sitting together. "Sweetie," the woman replied, "I've just spent 10 days of quality time in a compact rental car with this man. I KNOW what I'm requesting!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 14, 2020 Report Share Posted June 14, 2020 Joke: What Audacity "You in the back of the room, what was the date of the signing of the Magna Carter?" "I dunno." "You don't? Well let's try this. Who was Bonny Prince Charley?" "I dunno." "Well, tell me what the Tennis Court Oath was?" "I dunno." "I assigned this stuff last Friday. What were you doing this last weekend?" "I was out drinking beer and fishing with friends." "You were? What audacity to stand there and tell me a thing like that? How do you ever expect to pass this course?" "I don't. I just came in to fix the radiator." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 15, 2020 Report Share Posted June 15, 2020 Joke: He's A Lawyer A blind rabbit and blind snake bump into each other in the forest. The rabbit says, "Excuse me, I'm blind." The snake replies, "That's okay, so am I. I got an idea. Let's rub up against each other so we know what we are?" Reluctantly the rabbit agrees. The snake coiled around the rabbit, felt his long ears and bushy tail, and said, "Hey, you're a rabbit!" It was then the rabbits turn. He felt the snake's fangs, ran down the snake's entire body, then felt the snake's rattler. The rabbit jumped back quickly and hopped through the woods frantically screaming, "HE'S A LAWYER, HE'S A LAWYER!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 15, 2020 Report Share Posted June 15, 2020 Joke: Have You Ever Geraldine: "Have you ever come across a man who, at the slightest touch, caused you to thrill and tremble and vibrate in every fiber of your being?" Mabel: "Oh, yes, for sure... the dentist." blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 15, 2020 Report Share Posted June 15, 2020 Joke: Go Away Fido One day a man was eating dinner at his girlfriend’s parents. The dog was under his chair and it barked while he was holding in a fart. This startled the man and caused him to rip a small fart. The mom said, "Fido!" Since the dog was receiving the blame he decided to rip a huge one. Again the mother said, "Fido! Go Away!” Seeing as the dog was continuing to receive the blame he let out a wet, loud, and/or possibly deafening fart. Then his girlfriend said, “Fido, you heard mom, leave before he shits on you!" blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 15, 2020 Report Share Posted June 15, 2020 Joke: The Girls Are Hungry A number of showgirls were entertaining the troops at a remote Army camp. They had been performing all afternoon and were not only tired but also very hungry. Finally, at the close of the show, the major asked, “Would you girls like to mess with the enlisted men or the officers this evening?” “Either way,” spoke up one of them. “But we’ve just got to have something to eat first.” blowmenow 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 15, 2020 Report Share Posted June 15, 2020 Joke: Suppose I Gave You $100 On a country road, a speeder hit and killed a dog. The dog's owner stood nearby, a gun in his hand. The speeder said, "Looks as if I killed your dog." "Sure does." "I'm sorry. Was it a valuable dog?" "I wouldn't say that." "Well, suppose I gave you a hundred dollars. Would that be enough?" "Well, I don't know." "Two hundred dollars. That should do it." "Sounds good." The speeder reached into his pocket and came up with the money. Pressing it into the man's hand, he said, "I'm sorry I spoiled your plans to go hunting." "I wasn't going hunting. I was heading out to the woods to shoot that mangy dog." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 16, 2020 Report Share Posted June 16, 2020 Joke: Let's Try 68 A husband comes home and says to his wife, "We've tried 69 before, let’s try 68." The wife asks, "What’s that?" He says, "You do me tonight and then I'll owe you one." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 16, 2020 Report Share Posted June 16, 2020 Joke: Stuck In Her Arse Two women walking home after a heavy night of booze, needed to pee, so they ducked into a graveyard. They had no toilet paper so, one woman used her knickers and threw them away the other used a ribbon from a wreath. The next day their husbands were talking. "We'd better keep an eye on our wives," one said. "Mine came home without her knickers." "You think that is bad," said the other "mine came home with a card stuck in her arse, saying, 'From all the guys at the fire station, we'll never forget you!'" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 16, 2020 Report Share Posted June 16, 2020 Joke: Make My Users Satisfied A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated, "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish." The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said, "I'd like there to be a just and lasting peace among the people in the middle east." The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits." The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, and let them ask sensible changes." Genie replies, "Uh, let me see that map again." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 16, 2020 Report Share Posted June 16, 2020 Joke: Henry Henry calls work and says, "Hey boss, no work for me today, I'm feeling sick. I got headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurt." The boss says, "You know Henry, I really need you today. When I feel like that, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That always makes everything better and then I can go to work. You try that." Two hours later Henry calls again. "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great! I'll be at work soon. By the way, you got a nice house." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 16, 2020 Report Share Posted June 16, 2020 Joke: You Need Tacks Too Pharmacist: May I help you sir? Client: Yes… I, uh... well, this is sort of embarrassing, but I’m going out on a date tonight, and you know, I need some… Pharmacist: You need some protection. Client: Right. Pharmacist: Small, medium, or large? Client: Uhhh. Medium, I guess. Pharmacist: Okay, that’ll be $2.35 including tax. Client: Tacks!! I thought they stayed on by themselves! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 17, 2020 Report Share Posted June 17, 2020 Joke: The Trouser Worm The teacher was some months pregnant and as she stood in front of her 5th grade class, Betty asks, "Why is your stomach swelled up?" So she said, "Can anybody tell me why my stomach is swelled up?" Jane said, "You were bit by a snake!" Billy said, "You were bit by a spider?" "No, neither one of those is correct," she said. Little Johnny then says, "I know why teacher." "Okay, why Johnny?" "You were bit by a trouser worm." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 17, 2020 Report Share Posted June 17, 2020 Joke: Fluffy's In Heat Little Sally asks her dad if she could take her dog Fluffy far a walk around the block. He tells her no, because Fluffy was in heat. Little Sally asks, "What does in heat mean?" Without any explanation, her dad took a rag with gas on it and wiped the dog’s rear end with it. He told her to go around the block and come back straight home. When she returned, she was alone. Her dad asks, "Where is Fluffy?" Little Sally says, "Fluffy ran out of gas a few blocks back and another dog is pushing her home." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 17, 2020 Report Share Posted June 17, 2020 Joke: Too Many Characters A dumb college blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!" "Yes, ma'am?" "I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!" "What was wrong with it?" asked the librarian. "It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!" The librarian nodded and said, "Ahh! You must be the person who took our phone book." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted June 17, 2020 Report Share Posted June 17, 2020 Joke: The Third Leg Conundrum Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong. "Well," replies Paul, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?" "Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh. "Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally worked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed." "That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?" "I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So, I got some duct tape and taped 'it' to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show". "Sensible" says Jeff. "So I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, sexiest, dress you ever saw." "And what happened then?" asked Jeff. "I kicked her in the face." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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