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Posted

Joke: One … Two … and three ….

 

A man having trouble achieving an erection decides to consult a witch doctor.


The witch doctor throws some herbs on a fire, shakes his rattle, and says, "I have placed a powerful spell on you, but it will only work once a year. Just say 'one, two, three' and you'll get the largest erection you've ever had. After your wife's been satisfied, simply say 'one, two, three, four' and it will disappear for 12 months."

Later that night as the man is lying in bed watching television, he says to his wife, "Watch this! One, two, three!" His penis becomes larger and stiffer than ever before. His wife is amazed. She smiles and says, "That's great! But what did you say 'one, two, three' for?"

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted

Joke: Bus stop smell

 A guy is walking past a bus stop and says to a woman "Can I smell your cunt?"

 

"Fxck off, no you can't smell my c*nt!" the woman yells back at him,

 

"Oh", he replies, looking slightly confused, "it must be your feet then".

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

  • 5 weeks later...
Posted

Joke: My First One


This guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 7 shots of vodka. The bartender says, "Wow, must be a big occasion?" 

The guy says, "Ya, my first blowjob." 

The bartender says, "How about I give you an eighth shot on the house." 

The guy says, "If 7 shots wont get rid of the taste, nothing will!" 

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Joke: Two men were talking...


Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"


"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."


"Social Security sex?"


"Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Honey, What Did the Doctor Say?


A middle-aged man goes into the doctor's office for a check-up with a litany of complaints.


The doctor speaks to the man's wife alone and says, "There is nothing the matter with your husband. If you make a couple of meals for him a day, let him watch his sports. Do not complain at him too much and require him to listen. Limit his exposure to in-laws and make love to him once a week. Then, he'll probably live another 20 years."


She returns to her husband's side in the waiting room. He asks, "What did the doctor tell you?"


"You are going to be dying soon, my dear."
 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: What do you like best about me....


I asked my wife the other day what she liked best about me....

"Is it my firm, trim, athletic, body? Or, rather, is it my astounding intellect?"

She replied....

"Your sense of humour, dear."
 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

Posted

Joke: Ice Cream

An elderly couple was watching television one evening. The wife said, "I am going to get a dish of ice cream now." Kindly, the husband offered to get the ice cream for his wife.

 

"I'll write it down so you don't forget," she said.
"I won't forget," the old gent said. "But, I want chocolate syrup and nuts on it. So, I'll write it down," she replied.


"I will get you the ice cream. Don't you worry," replied the gentleman.


A few minutes later, the old man returned with bacon and eggs. His wife said, "See, I should have written it down because you forgot the toast."    
 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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