worldangel Posted December 31, 2025 Posted December 31, 2025 Joke: Writes and Wrongs Teacher: "Your spelling is really improving, Henry, I only counted three mistakes." Henry: "That's great!" Teacher: "And now, let's check the second sentence." yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 31, 2025 Posted December 31, 2025 37,720th Joke: Logging In Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: "Close Enough." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 1 Posted January 1 Joke: Designated Drunk One night at a local bar frequented by a bunch of deer hunters who were waiting for the opening day of deer season, the local sheriff scoped out the joint for possible drunk drivers. As he waited, eventually a patron stumbled out of the bar, fumbled for his keys, tried them in three different cars until he finally found his, got inside and rested his head on the steering wheel. The deputy knew he had his drunk driver, so now all he had to do was wait for him to start his engine and pull out of the lot. A few hours passed by and most of the other deer hunters had left by then, when the patron abruptly lifted his head, cranked the car up and drove out of the lot like a bat out of hell. The deputy followed him and stopped him promptly. He administered the breath-o-lizer test and it read 0.00. Confused, the deputy asked the driver what the hell was going on. The driver looked at him innocently and said, "Well, tonight I'm the designated decoy." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 1 Posted January 1 Joke: Keep the change An elderly couple visits their grown-up grandson one night. While in the bathroom, Grandpa discovers a bottle of Viagra in his grandson's medicine cupboard. "I don't think you should take one of those," says the grandson when his grandpa asks him about them: "They're pretty expensive." "How much?" asks the old timer. "$20 a pill," replies the grandson. "I'd still like to try one," says the old man: "Before we go in the morning I'll leave the money under the pillow in the guest room." The next day the grandson goes into the guest room, and lifts the pillow to find $120. Puzzled, he calls his grandpa. "Grandpa, I told you the pills were $20 each!" he says. "I know," says the old man: "The extra $100 is from your grandma!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 1 Posted January 1 Joke: An office exec was interviewing... An office exec was interviewing a blonde for an assistant position, and wanted to find out a little about her personality. "If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?" "I'd have to say the living one." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 1 Posted January 1 Joke: Bottom of the Class “I’m worried about you always being at the bottom of your class,” said the father to his son. “Don’t worry Dad,” he replied. “They still teach the same thing at both ends.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 2 Posted January 2 Joke: There is a knock on the pearly... There is a knock on the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks out, and a man is standing there. Saint Peter is about to begin his interview when the man disappears. A moment later there’s another knock. Saint Peter gets the door, sees the man, opens his mouth to speak, but the man disappears once again. “Hey, are you playing games with me?” Saint Peter calls after him, rather annoyed. “No” the man’s distant voice replies anxiously. “They are trying to resuscitate me.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 2 Posted January 2 Joke: My prayers are answered... A grandmother who took her little grandson to the beach. They were having a good time until a huge wave came in and swept the boy out to sea. She fell down on her knees and pleaded to the heavens, "Please return my grandson, that's all I ask! PLEASE!!!" A moment later, lo and behold, a wave swelled from the ocean and deposited the wet, yet unhurt child, at her feet. She checked him over to make sure that he was okay. He was fine. But still she looked up to the heavens angrily and said, "When we came he had a hat!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 2 Posted January 2 Joke: I'm Working Just seen a burglar kicking his own door in. I asked: “What are you doing?” He said: “Working from home.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 2 Posted January 2 Joke: Problem With Women "Doc," said the young man lying down on the couch, "You've got to help me! Every night I have the same horrible dream. I'm lying in bed when all of a sudden five women rush in and start tearing off my clothes." The psychiatrist nodded, "And what do you do?" "I push them away!" "I see. And what can I do to help you with this?" The patient implored, "Please--break my arms!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 3 Posted January 3 Joke: Professional Worrier David had been extremely anxious for years. It got to the point where his compulsive worrying was ruining his life, so he went to a psychiatrist, who recommended that David hire a professional worrier. After he'd been working with the specialist for a few months, David's friend John noticed a change. "What happened?" John asked. "You don't worry about anything anymore." "I hired a professional worrier!" David answered. "That must cost a fortune," John said. "Yes, he charges $3,000 a month," David said sheepishly. "Three thousand dollars! How can you ever afford to pay him?" John exclaimed. "I don't know," David said. "That's his problem." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 3 Posted January 3 Joke: Nursery school teacher says to... Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?" First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue" eacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange..." Second little boy..."Trees are definitely green" "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown." Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks: "Does a fart have lumps?" The teacher looks horrified and says "Johnny! Of course not!!!" "OK...then I DEFINITELY shit my pants..." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 4 Posted January 4 Joke: Sales associate Sarah, a Sales Associate at supermarket notices a man in the card section. When she walks by an hour later and sees him still there she walks over to see if she can help. “Can I help you?” she asks. “Well I don’t know” the man responds “I’m having a problem, I can’t find anything that my wife would believe!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 5 Posted January 5 Joke: One … Two … and three …. A man having trouble achieving an erection decides to consult a witch doctor. The witch doctor throws some herbs on a fire, shakes his rattle, and says, "I have placed a powerful spell on you, but it will only work once a year. Just say 'one, two, three' and you'll get the largest erection you've ever had. After your wife's been satisfied, simply say 'one, two, three, four' and it will disappear for 12 months." Later that night as the man is lying in bed watching television, he says to his wife, "Watch this! One, two, three!" His penis becomes larger and stiffer than ever before. His wife is amazed. She smiles and says, "That's great! But what did you say 'one, two, three' for?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 10 Posted January 10 Joke: Emergency landing... An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. "All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 10 Posted January 10 Joke: At The Bar I was sitting at a bar with a friend the other night when he casually pointed across the bar from us and said, "see those two old drunks sitting there... that's going to be us in ten years." I looked and him and said, "that's a mirror stupid!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 10 Posted January 10 Joke: What Is A Pessimist? What is a Pessimist? The real world dictionary defines a 'pessimist' as an optimist with no experience Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 10 Posted January 10 Joke: Christmas Shopping I tried to go Christmas shopping last year, but I didn’t have no money. I just went window-shopping with a brick. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 11 Posted January 11 Joke: You never tell me A man says to his wife, “You never tell me when you have an orgasm.” “You’re never home.” She replies. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 12 Posted January 12 Joke: Emergency landing... An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. "All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 12 Posted January 12 Joke: At The Bar I was sitting at a bar with a friend the other night when he casually pointed across the bar from us and said, "see those two old drunks sitting there... that's going to be us in ten years." I looked and him and said, "that's a mirror stupid!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 12 Posted January 12 Joke: The doctor... The doctor entered the room and advised his patient that a brain transplant was the only remedy. "Fortunately" he continued, "this hospital has perfected the procedure, however, it is not yet available on the National Health and you will therefore have to pay. We have two brains in stock at the moment, a female brain costing £30,000 and a male brain at £100,000" "Why is the male brain so expensive?" asked the patient. "Oh, that's easy, male brains are hardly used." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 13 Posted January 13 Joke: Why are you crying? Two guys were sitting outside a medical clinic. One of them was crying, tears were pouring down his face. The other guy asked, "Why are you crying?" The first one replied, "I came here for blood test." The second one asked, "So? Why are you crying? Are you afraid?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 14 Posted January 14 Joke: Bus stop smell A guy is walking past a bus stop and says to a woman "Can I smell your cunt?" "Fuck off, no you can't smell my c*nt!" the woman yells back at him, "Oh", he replies, looking slightly confused, "it must be your feet then". Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 16 Posted January 16 Joke: My mind is gone "Oh goodness," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!" Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, "I'm not surprised: You've been giving me a piece of it every day for twenty years!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 16 Posted January 16 Joke: Masturbation Contest Who's the world's greatest athlete? The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 17 Posted January 17 Joke: The Running Florist I was working in my downtown flower shop, when I noticed a man grab a bouquet and head for the door without paying. By the time I got to the door, he was halfway down the block. As I ran after him, I heard a woman across the street yell, "Run, Florist, Run!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 18 Posted January 18 Joke: A trucker who has been out on... A trucker who has been out on the road for three weeks stops into a brothel outside Vegas. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a bologna sandwich!!!" The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal." The trucker replies, "Listen sweetheart, I ain’t horny, I’m homesick." yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 18 Posted January 18 Joke: It's the drinking... The patient was lying in bed, still groggy from the effects of the recent operation. His doctor came in, looking very glum. "I can't be sure what's wrong with you," the doctor said. "I think it's the drinking." "Okay," the patient said. "Can we get an opinion from a doctor who's sober?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 19 Posted January 19 Joke: Young Son: "Is it true, Dad? I... Young Son: "Is it true, Dad? I heard that in some parts of the world a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her” Dad: That happens in every country, son Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 19 Posted January 19 Joke: Computers are like air conditioners... Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 20 Posted January 20 Joke: My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC ... My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn't find any. So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, "These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?" "The produce guy looked at me and said, "No. You'll have to do that yourself." shyc 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 20 Posted January 20 Joke: People are ignoring me A patient walks into a doctor's office. Patient: Doctor, people ignore me. Doctor: Next! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 21 Posted January 21 Joke: Break in.... A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape. "It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us." The boss screamed: "We had $100 when we broke in!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 21 Posted January 21 Joke: Giving a man his physical, a doctor... Giving a man his physical, a doctor noticed several dark, ugly bruises on his shins, so he asked, "Do you play hockey?" "No." "Do you play soccer?" "No." "Do you play any other physical sport?" "Not at all. I just play bridge with my wife." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 22 Posted January 22 Joke: A lawyer walks into a bar and ... A lawyer walks into a bar and sits down next to a drunk who is closely examining something held in his fingers. The lawyer watches the drunk for a while till he finally gets curious enough to ask what it is. "Well," said the drunk, "it looks like plastic and feels like rubber." "Let me have it," said the lawyer. Taking it, he began to roll it between his thumb and forefinger, examining it closely. "Yes," he finally said, "it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, but i don't know what it is. Where did you get it?" "From my nose," the drunk replied. shyc 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 22 Posted January 22 Joke: A guy walks into a bar........... A guy walks into a bar........... He orders a drink........... after a few.......... he must visit the john. he does not want anyone to steal his drink. so he puts a sign on it. saying, , " I SPIT IN THIS BEER, DO NOT DRINK'. after a few minutes he returns........... There is another sign next to his beer, saying, SO DID I. shyc 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 23 Posted January 23 Joke: Be My Valentine A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 23 Posted January 23 Joke: One night, as a couple lay ... One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. His wife turned over and said, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." Her husband, rejected, turned over and tried to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolled back over and tapped his wife again. This time he whispered in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 24 Posted January 24 Joke: Fire Hydrant Factory A man who worked at a fire hydrant factory was always late for work. When confronted by his boss the man explained, "You can't park anywhere near this place!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 24 Posted January 24 Joke: Stung by a bee A woman taking golf lessons had just started her first round when she was stung by a bee. Distraught, she went back into the clubhouse and told her golf teacher about the incident. "Where did it sting you?" he asked. "Between the first and second hole," she replied. He shook his head and said: "That’s your problem right there. You had your feet too far apart!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 25 Posted January 25 Joke: Waiting for love A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move. "No thank you." she said politely. "This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love." "That must be rather difficult." the man replied. "Oh, I don't mind too much." she said. "But, it has my husband pretty upset." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 25 Posted January 25 Joke: The Weakest Link Diner: "I would like a cup of coffee, please." Waiter: "I'm very sorry, sir, but I'm afraid we're fresh out of coffee today; our coffee maker has been completely exhausted." Diner: "I'm not surprised, due to how weak it's been lately." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 26 Posted January 26 Joke: Marry A Lawyer A doctor told her patient that his test results indicated that he had a rare disease and had only six months to live. "Isn't there anything I can do?", pleaded the patient. "Marry a lawyer," the doctor advised. "It will be the longest six months of your life." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 26 Posted January 26 Joke: Sign of the times... A woman met her husband at the train station after work for the ride home. He looked haggard, so she asked, "Rough day?" "You bet it was," he groaned. "Our computers were down, and we had to think all day long." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 27 Posted January 27 Joke: Vaseline uses A woman answers the door to a market researcher. "Good morning madam, I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Do you use it at all in your household?" "Oh yes, all the time. It's very good for cuts, grazes and burns." "Do you use it for anything else?" "Like what?" "Ahem.. err.. well.. during.. ahem.. sex." "Oh, of course. Yes, we smear it on the bedroom doorknob to keep the kids out." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 29 Posted January 29 Joke: Prophylactics I remember one point, this older gentleman asked me for some prophylactics, and at that time, my sexual vocabulary wasn’t that great, you know. So, I’m checking my word bank for the closest thing I have to prophylactics. Closest thing I got -- pterodactyls. I was all confused. I was like, Excuse me, sir, I hate to break it to you, but those things have been extinct for 65 million years. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted January 30 Posted January 30 Joke: Do angels fly? Child: “Mom, do angels fly?” Mom: “Yes, they do.” Child: “Then why doesn't our maid fly?” Mom: “But she is not an angel.” Child: “Yes, she is. Dad calls her angel.” Mom: “Does he? All right, you will see her fly tomorrow.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted February 2 Posted February 2 Joke: A guy had just returned from two... A guy had just returned from two weeks of vacation. He asked his boss for two more weeks off to get married. "What?" shouted the boss, "I can't give you more time now. Why didn't you get married while you were off?" "Are you nuts?" he replied. "That would have ruined my whole vacation." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted February 3 Posted February 3 Joke: Blind date How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate. "Terrible!" the room-mate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce." "Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?" "He was the original owner." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
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