worldangel Posted December 19, 2025 Posted December 19, 2025 Joke: An older man, not in the best... An older man, not in the best physical condition, asked the trainer in the gym, "I want to impress that beautiful girl. Which machine should I use?" The trainer replied... "Use the ATM machine outside the gym!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 19, 2025 Posted December 19, 2025 Joke: A wife, being the romantic sort... A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you." He replied, "I am in the bathroom. Please advise." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 20, 2025 Posted December 20, 2025 Joke: A posted in a couple’s home ... A posted in a couple’s home ...."I am the boss of the house...I have my wife's permission to say so!!!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 20, 2025 Posted December 20, 2025 Joke: Dr. Bill Patient to his doctor: "I have forgotten so many things lately, and it’s getting worse. What can I do?" Doctor: "Yes, this is a known illness, unfortunately it has no cure. On that note, I'd like to remind you about the $800 that you owe me." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 20, 2025 Posted December 20, 2025 Joke: Drunk in court A drunk man was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order." The drunk immediately responded, "Thank you, your Honor, I'll have a Scotch and soda." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 20, 2025 Posted December 20, 2025 Joke: Beware of dog Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying "DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!" posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 22, 2025 Posted December 22, 2025 Joke: Lottery win Two men had just won $500,000 in a lottery. Having a pint in a pub Tim say to Sean, "What about all them beggin letters? " Sean replies, "We'll just keep sending them." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 22, 2025 Posted December 22, 2025 A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. Ibn the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "when did you bag him?" The host said, "that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife." "What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter. "My wife." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 22, 2025 Posted December 22, 2025 Joke: A Conundrum If women do the same job for less money, why do companies hire men to do the same job for more money? It's a puzzlement! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 22, 2025 Posted December 22, 2025 Joke: If my memory was any worse Is swear if my memory was any worse i could plan my own surprise party. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 23, 2025 Posted December 23, 2025 Joke: When says to me great minds think alike When someone says to me great minds think alike, I just look at them and think “You dirty bastard” yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 23, 2025 Posted December 23, 2025 Joke: A compliment.... Bob was sitting at the table one morning, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player known for his lack of IQ. He turned to his wife and said, "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." She replied, "Why, thank you, Dear!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 23, 2025 Posted December 23, 2025 Joke: Toughest Spelling “I’ve just had the most awful time”, said a boy to his friends. “First, I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy”. “Wow! How did you pull through?”, sympathised his friends. “I don’t know”, the boy replied, “toughest spelling test I ever had”. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 23, 2025 Posted December 23, 2025 Joke: A Time Saver I ordered new coats for my kids... For convenience, I had them shipped directly to their school’s lost and found section. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
yhtang Posted December 24, 2025 Posted December 24, 2025 12 hours ago, worldangel said: Joke: When says to me great minds think alike When someone says to me great minds think alike, I just look at them and think “You dirty bastard” I am stealing this line. Thank you so much! worldangel 1 Quote
worldangel Posted December 24, 2025 Posted December 24, 2025 Joke: A compliment.... Bob was sitting at the table one morning, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player known for his lack of IQ. He turned to his wife and said, "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." She replied, "Why, thank you, Dear!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 24, 2025 Posted December 24, 2025 Joke: Christmas in October On social media I posted, “If anyone mentions Christmas before Thanksgiving, I'm going to delete them!” The next day, I didn’t have any friends. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 24, 2025 Posted December 24, 2025 Joke: Gift Exchange My friend reviewed her young son’s fill-in-the-blank homework. One line: “At Christmas, we exchange gifts with ___________.” His response: “Receipts.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 24, 2025 Posted December 24, 2025 Joke: He Knows As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally dropped one. "No problem," I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate. "You can't do that," argued my four-year-old. "Don't worry. Santa will never know." He shot me a look. "So, he knows if I've been bad or good, but he doesn't know if you dropped a cookie on the floor?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 25, 2025 Posted December 25, 2025 Joke: Thanks for the harmonica "Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas," little Joshua said to his uncle the first time he saw him after the holidays. "It's the best present I ever got." "That's great," said his uncle. "Do you know how to play it?" "Oh, I don't play it," the little fellow said. "My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 25, 2025 Posted December 25, 2025 Joke: Automobile Dealership When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. “Hey,” I announced to the technician, “it's open!” To which he replied, “I know — I already got that side.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 25, 2025 Posted December 25, 2025 Joke: Same Perfume My mother and my girlfriend are wearing the same perfume, which is weird because, all of a sudden, I’m attracted to my girlfriend. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 25, 2025 Posted December 25, 2025 Joke: A distraught investor called his ... A distraught investor called his financial advisor. “Is my money really all gone?” He wailed. “No, no,” the advisor answered calmly. “It’s just with somebody else!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 26, 2025 Posted December 26, 2025 Joke: Emergency landing... An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. "All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 26, 2025 Posted December 26, 2025 Joke: At The Bar I was sitting at a bar with a friend the other night when he casually pointed across the bar from us and said, "see those two old drunks sitting there... that's going to be us in ten years." I looked and him and said, "that's a mirror stupid!" yhtang 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 26, 2025 Posted December 26, 2025 Joke: What Is A Pessimist? What is a Pessimist? The real world dictionary defines a 'pessimist' as an optimist with no experience Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 26, 2025 Posted December 26, 2025 Joke: Christmas Shopping I tried to go Christmas shopping last year, but I didn’t have no money. I just went window-shopping with a brick. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 27, 2025 Posted December 27, 2025 Joke: Two elderly gentlemen from old folks home Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?" John says, "I feel just like a newborn baby." "Really!? Like a newborn by!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just pooped my pants." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 27, 2025 Posted December 27, 2025 Joke: Christmas Eve Accident Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something related to or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pockets and finds mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a candy cane, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of stockings. Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent Christmas?" "They're Carol's." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 27, 2025 Posted December 27, 2025 Joke: Speeding Ticket Cop pulls over a car with a couple in it. "What's the problem officer?" "Sir, you were going 68 in a 50-zone." "What, that's ridiculous! I did no such thing!" "Sir, I caught you with my radar gun, and it's always accurate, but I’ll give you some leeway and reduce it to 62. "Well, not this time, asshole. I know I was doing 54! I'll take it to court, you son of a bitch!" The cop hands the man the ticket, and he rips it up. "Sir, I'm going to have to insist you calm down, or I'll put you under arrest." Suddenly, the wife interjects, "Mister, I wouldn't push it. There's no use arguing with him when he's drunk." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 27, 2025 Posted December 27, 2025 Joke: The will to live A man went to his lawyer and said "I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it." The lawyer says "No problem, leave it all to me". The man looks somewhat upset ... "Well, I knew you were going to take the biggest slice, but I'd like to leave a little to my children too! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 28, 2025 Posted December 28, 2025 Joke: Efficiency Expert An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 28, 2025 Posted December 28, 2025 Joke: In school one day, the teacher... In school one day, the teacher decided that for science class she would teach about raw materials. She stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?" Little Stevie raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Corvette." The teacher nodded and called on little Susie. Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche" The teacher smiled and then called on Little Adam. Little Adam stood up and said, "I would want silicon." The teacher said, "Adam, why silicon?" "Because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars parked outside of our house!!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 28, 2025 Posted December 28, 2025 Joke: Loud Train A man had to attend a large convention in Chicago. On this particular trip he decided to bring his wife. When they arrived at their hotel and were shown to their room, the man said: "You rest here while I register - I'll be back within an hour." The wife lies down on the bed... just then, an elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed. Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again, a train shakes the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor. Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager. The manager says he'll be right up. The manager (naturally) is sceptical but the wife insists the story is true. "Look,... lie here on the bed - you'll be thrown right to the floor!" So he lies down next to the wife... Just then the husband walks in. "What," he says, "are you doing here?" The manager replies: "Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 28, 2025 Posted December 28, 2025 Joke: Emergency landing... An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. "All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 28, 2025 Posted December 28, 2025 Joke: At The Bar I was sitting at a bar with a friend the other night when he casually pointed across the bar from us and said, "see those two old drunks sitting there... that's going to be us in ten years." I looked and him and said, "that's a mirror stupid!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 28, 2025 Posted December 28, 2025 Joke: What Is A Pessimist? What is a Pessimist? The real world dictionary defines a 'pessimist' as an optimist with no experience Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 28, 2025 Posted December 28, 2025 Joke: Christmas Shopping I tried to go Christmas shopping last year, but I didn’t have no money. I just went window-shopping with a brick. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 29, 2025 Posted December 29, 2025 Joke: Two elderly gentlemen from old folks home Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?" John says, "I feel just like a newborn baby." "Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just pooped my pants." shyc 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 29, 2025 Posted December 29, 2025 Joke: Christmas Eve Accident Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something related to or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pockets and finds mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a candy cane, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of stockings. Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent Christmas?" "They're Carol's." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 29, 2025 Posted December 29, 2025 Joke: Speeding Ticket Cop pulls over a car with a couple in it. "What's the problem officer?" "Sir, you were going 68 in a 50-zone." "What, that's ridiculous! I did no such thing!" "Sir, I caught you with my radar gun, and it's always accurate, but I’ll give you some leeway and reduce it to 62. "Well, not this time, asshole. I know I was doing 54! I'll take it to court, you son of a bitch!" The cop hands the man the ticket, and he rips it up. "Sir, I'm going to have to insist you calm down, or I'll put you under arrest." Suddenly, the wife interjects, "Mister, I wouldn't push it. There's no use arguing with him when he's drunk." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 29, 2025 Posted December 29, 2025 Joke: The will to live A man went to his lawyer and said "I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it." The lawyer says "No problem, leave it all to me". The man looks somewhat upset ... "Well, I knew you were going to take the biggest slice, but I'd like to leave a little to my children too! shyc 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 30, 2025 Posted December 30, 2025 Joke: Heaven or ??? A spiritualist who'd recently been widowed met a colleague and reported excitedly that she'd just received a message from her dead husband - asking her to send him a pack of cigarettes. "The only thing is," she mused, "that I don't know where to send them." "Why not?" asked her friend. "Well, he didn't actually say that he was in Heaven - but I can't imagine he'd be in Hell." "Hm," responded the friend. "Well, maybe I shouldn't bring this up, but. . . he didn't mention anything about including matches in the package, did he?" shyc 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 30, 2025 Posted December 30, 2025 Joke: An older gent had an appointment An older gent had an appointment to see a urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. He approached the receptionist desk. The receptionist was a large imposing woman who looked like a wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice the receptionist said, "Yes, I see your name here. You want to see the doctor about impotence, right?" All of the patients in the waiting room snapped their head around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly though, and in an equally loud voice replied, "No, I've come to inquire about a sex change operation and I'd like the same doctor that did yours!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 30, 2025 Posted December 30, 2025 Joke: Daddy Is Going To War The following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred during the war. During the war, I was assigned to go to overseas. As I was saying good-bye to my family, my three-year-old son, Christopher, was holding on to my leg and pleading with me not to leave. "No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating. We were beginning to make a scene when my wife, desperate to calm him, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza." Immediately, Christopher loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 30, 2025 Posted December 30, 2025 Joke: Playing the Game Our computers went down at work today, so we had to do everything manually... It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards for solitaire. shyc 1 Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 31, 2025 Posted December 31, 2025 Joke: Child’s Birthday Wish Child: "Mom, may I have a bicycle for my birthday?" Mom: "Will it make you behave any better if I do?" Child: "No, but I’ll behave over a wider area." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 31, 2025 Posted December 31, 2025 Joke: Mice and Light Bulbs Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two, if they're small enough. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 31, 2025 Posted December 31, 2025 Joke: Good Bottle of Wine Question: How much should I spend on a really good bottle of wine? Half an hour? Twenty minutes? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted December 31, 2025 Posted December 31, 2025 Joke: Writes and Wrongs Teacher: "Your spelling is really improving, Henry, I only counted three mistakes." Henry: "That's great!" Teacher: "And now, let's check the second sentence." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
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