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How does anyone determine their role in bed ? - Are You Top, Btm Or Flexi? Which Role Should I Be? (Compiled)


yishun

Top? Btm? Vers? or .....??  

618 members have voted

  1. 1. Are you ...... (PICK ONE ONLY)

    • Top only
      70
    • Versatile Top
      74
    • Versatile
      75
    • Versatile Bottom
      104
    • Bottom only
      80
    • I don't do anal...
      46

This poll is closed to new votes


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hehe,as what i say,i dunno any sissy & dun think i wan to know any too ( sorry no offence ) just tat i more comfortable out or talk with str8 manly type.

Crazygolfer,is nothing to do with experience,reason i told above & if u watch gay p--n movie,there r manly str guys some even married but they get fxxk,they just earn for living as the p--n movie pay well,some do show their interview b4 that. :D

So Crazygolfer,what type of guys turn u on? :P

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Reading the above, I am a top and like to cruise in Blue Heaven on Thu and then in One Seven on Tue because my cup of people, the young one. Sometimes I met some sissy there and so far, I always 'top' them. Maybe I will become a 'bottom' oneday and be top only by a sissy, if I found one, I will report in this forum (hahahaha) :D . We can not discriminate the sissy because they were born like that mah and must tolerate them, because maybe one of your relative could be like that, how?

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am a top. But I secretly wanna be top-flex... Esp after seeing the btms feelign so shiok when they are being fxxked and after cumming almost without touching myself when my ex fxxked me with his small dick...

Somehow I think that being top-flex would mean more chances for fun. I can get fxxked, then fxxk someone, then suck someone then get fxxked again etc... Haha... Today too tired to fxxk but horny? Just get fxxked! LOL...

Oh well, that's what I am thinking... :P

Anyway, my ass is still not used to getting fxxked... Cock stays soft whenever I kena fxxked... How to get hard? Training? I am buying a dildo just to train... :P Or shall I just get a few good tops to keep fxxking me? :P

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I am a top. But I secretly wanna be top-flex... Esp after seeing the btms feelign so shiok when they are being fxxked and after cumming almost without touching myself when my ex fxxked me with his small dick...

Somehow I think that being top-flex would mean more chances for fun. I can get fxxked, then fxxk someone, then suck someone then get fxxked again etc... Haha... Today too tired to fxxk but horny? Just get fxxked! LOL...

Oh well, that's what I am thinking... :P

Anyway, my ass is still not used to getting fxxked... Cock stays soft whenever I kena fxxked... How to get hard? Training? I am buying a dildo just to train... :P Or shall I just get a few good tops to keep fxxking me? :P

Yes, and you probably can get someone from here.

:D

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Haha... I need someone who can make me relax totally when fxxking me... Then I can feel shiok and not the pain... Openly solicit for people to 'loosen' me up ah? No lah... Me still shy lah... Later I become branded as loose slut, then I die lah! Haha... No one would want me then... :D

If you wait, later older nobody wants.

Now better start soliciting. If you are a slut, you will be one, no need to hide. If you are not, you will never be.

Haha. :D

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Guest passerby_yis

after reading all the message...just wonder if anyone can share with us " how to define a good top" ?

someone who can F* long? or F* skillfully? F* long long but don cum? hm.... just curios.....

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As someone who is trying to enjoy being fxxked, I would say a good top is someone who can make me relax and fxxk me skillfully. So I will feel shiok, loved and want to or better still can cum in the end... Rather than used plainly as a fxxking tool...

But in the slut mode, I really dun mind being used as a fxxking tool... Think I am crazy? :unsure::blink:

But I am scared of someone who can fxxk and fxxk long long... My ass sore and painful! Haha... But I belong to that category... My btms often cum liao and I am still fxxking them! Haha... Oops! :whistle: :P

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after reading all the message...just wonder if anyone can share with us " how to define a good top" ?

someone who can F* long? or F* skillfully? F* long long but don cum? hm.... just curios.....

Hmmm, to answer your question, i would define as 'a good top' is, the fxxker who able to satisfy the 'bottom' and to do this, the top should be able to penetrate the asshole and his shaft or cockhead touching the prostate of the bottom. Anyway, i dunno how to do tis, must learn from the expert here :blink:

The duration of sex is secondary and the third is the size of the tool & it's capability to stay hard :D

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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after reading all the message...just wonder if anyone can share with us " how to define a good top" ?

someone who can F* long? or F* skillfully? F* long long but don cum? hm.... just curios.....

I don't know how to describe a 'good top' but a 'bad top' is the person who wanted to insert his cock quickly into bottom's asshole, quick to bang it until he've got his climax and withdrew his cock without bothering the 'bottom' reaction, whether he (the bottom) satisfied or not :blink:

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Alamak, forgot to enter user name, just now the above was posted by me.

Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy Demaret

Quote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003)

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My view is there is no such thing as pure tops or bottoms. Its all psyhcological and individual preference. Those "selfish" tops who claimed they dun kiss, oral and simply want to fxxk someone are infact bullshit. I believe all guys can fxxk and fxxkable as well. Its a matter of choice of which we enjoy our preferences.

:smokin:

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Hi Worldangel

Who am i doesnt really matter.

I enjoyed reading the accounts you guys have written. However, i still maintain my view that its a matter of preference to be top or bottom, as there is no absolute top or bottom in this circle. Therefore in a relationship, two tops or two bottoms can be couple and easier to satisfy the sexual compatibility of each other. :rolleyes:

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  • 11 months later...
Guest Guest_2bsucked
Forgot to tell you all cubken, I live in Ipoh. Here very quiet. At night got nothing to do. Drink kopi drink bear only.

We are secret group but don't think everytime we have sex. Only when very bored then I sometimes go and drink with them.

I had fun with a stocky guy in Heritage Hotel in Ipoh last year or sometime around then. Are you him?

I am very str8, manly, athletic, gym, stocky muscular, from Singapore, there on business...

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Forgot to tell you all cubken, I live in Ipoh. Here very quiet. At night got nothing to do. Drink kopi drink bear only.

We are secret group but don't think everytime we have sex. Only when very bored then I sometimes go and drink with them.

I had fun with a stocky guy in Heritage Hotel in Ipoh last year or sometime around then. Are you him?

I am very str8, manly, athletic, gym, stocky muscular, from Singapore, there on business...

Aiyo ...... you are replying to the message posted 13 months ago ?? :oops:

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Guest Guest_2bsucked
Forgot to tell you all cubken, I live in Ipoh. Here very quiet. At night got nothing to do. Drink kopi drink bear only.

We are secret group but don't think everytime we have sex. Only when very bored then I sometimes go and drink with them.

I had fun with a stocky guy in Heritage Hotel in Ipoh last year or sometime around then. Are you him?

I am very str8, manly, athletic, gym, stocky muscular, from Singapore, there on business...

Aiyo ...... you are replying to the message posted 13 months ago ?? :oops:

Sorry lah, I am new to this focum what....

Also, maybe I dun frequent this forum as often as others here...

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  • 1 month later...

Just asking a very simple Question to those that are attach & to those that are real PURE TOP. If your boyfriend is flexi & he want to top you, what would you do? Allow or NOT?

To those that are Flexi Top or flexi, if your boyfriend is PURE TOP, will you ask & want to top him?

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There is a difference between having sex and making love. The latter, in my opnion, holds no definitions like top, bottom, flexi etc. A couple in love rides with their feeling, asking no favours, expecting no returns. Be in the mood for love, let the emotions take over and you will know what I mean. There is only so much words can say.

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When two persons are in love and during the passionate moment, feelings will leads them to some favourite positions. During the subsequent rounds, when the s called 'flexi' expressed interest to play a reverse role such as being a top, his partner should give in unselfishly. I think its very selfish to impose his liking on his other half who enjoyed similar role as him. So compromise and giving in should be encouraged inorder to maintain the sexual part going on. Being tops or bottoms are just a preference, not inflexible rules. :rolleyes:

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Reference from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

TOP (Sex)

In the context of human sexual behavior, especially anal sex among gay men, a top is an insertive partner, or a person who prefers the insertive role. The counterpart is a bottom. The top need not be physically on top of the other partner though this is often the case. A person who enjoys both topping and bottoming is called a switch or versatile. These terms are also used frequently in some lesbian circles, and are gaining use among some opposite-sex couples too. For example, the act of pegging involves a female top and a male bottom.

"Top" can also be used as a transitive or intransitive verb meaning to sexually penetrate (someone).

BOTTOM (Sex)

In the context of human sexual behavior, especially anal sex among gay men, a bottom is a receptive partner (that is, a partner who is penetrated), or a person who prefers the receptive role. The counterpart is a top. A person who enjoys both topping and bottoming is called versatile or a switch. These terms are also used frequently in some lesbian circles, and are gaining use among some opposite-sex couples too. For example, the act of pegging involves a female top and a male bottom.

"Bottom" can also be used as an intransitive verb meaning to be sexually penetrated by: to bottom for someone.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Reference from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

TOP (Sex)

In the context of human sexual behavior, especially anal sex among gay men, a top is an insertive partner, or a person who prefers the insertive role. The counterpart is a bottom. The top need not be physically on top of the other partner though this is often the case. A person who enjoys both topping and bottoming is called a switch or versatile. These terms are also used frequently in some lesbian circles, and are gaining use among some opposite-sex couples too. For example, the act of pegging involves a female top and a male bottom.

"Top" can also be used as a transitive or intransitive verb meaning to sexually penetrate (someone).

BOTTOM (Sex)

In the context of human sexual behavior, especially anal sex among gay men, a bottom is a receptive partner (that is, a partner who is penetrated), or a person who prefers the receptive role. The counterpart is a top. A person who enjoys both topping and bottoming is called versatile or a switch. These terms are also used frequently in some lesbian circles, and are gaining use among some opposite-sex couples too. For example, the act of pegging involves a female top and a male bottom.

"Bottom" can also be used as an intransitive verb meaning to be sexually penetrated by: to bottom for someone.

Your point being?

Are there anything in the explaination that renders either terms to be mutually exclusive or imply some form of immutability on the part of a top or a bottom?

This is just as vague as the description "pure top". Does that mean that a man who prefers to put his dick inside another man is incapable/cannot/unable of enjoying the pleasure of making love to the love of his life?

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There is a difference between having sex and making love. The latter, in my opnion, holds no definitions like top, bottom, flexi etc. A couple in love rides with their feeling, asking no favours, expecting no returns. Be in the mood for love, let the emotions take over and you will know what I mean. There is only so much words can say.

I agreed with you, each has his own preference and perform to your liking, take and give to your loved one as his your bf.

Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy Demaret

Quote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003)

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Many of us did not understand well or maybe not very sure the gay slang or terminology. The gay slang for TOP, BOTTOM, FLEXY, TOP FLEXY, BOTTOM FLEXY only applied to this region (Spore, Malaysia), Hongkong and not sure where too ..?

Once I met an angmoh (a German) and asked me whether I am a ‘ACTIVE’ or ‘PASSIVE’ which I didn’t understand the meaning and later he explained ‘active’ (top) and ‘passive’ (bottom)

Similar case too, when I was in Jakarta on business trip and I called a masseur and asked him whether he is ‘Atas’ (literary translated from Top) or ‘Bawah’ (Bottom) and the fellow could not understand, apparently they used the slang ‘active’ and ‘passive’ and I am not sure what they called for ‘flexy’ ……. :oops: ?? Maybe 'Atas' boleh, Bawah boleh = Semua boleh ;)

In this junction, maybe BW member ‘Bukit Panjang’ could translate correctly the gay slang in Bahasa or Worldangel would look the meaning in Wikipedia Bahasa?

The Japanese slang for TOP is ‘Tachi’ which literary means masculine or butch (for Lesbian) and for BOTTOM is ‘Neko’ literally means ‘Cat’. Why ..... not sure? Maybe BW member Andy@Tokyo could explain this or WA in Wikipedia Katakana? :thumb:

So whether TOP, BOTTOM, FLEXY, TOP FLEXY, BOTTOM FLEXY, ACTIVE, PASSIVE, ATAS, BAWAH pls get the right gay slang where ever you are and enjoy both of you and your loved one :thumb:

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I agree that when 2 person love or care for each other, whether one is top or bottom, it all depends on what each is comfortable with. I used to be a bottom but lately I have enjoyed topping my lover(s) and they are rather surprised when I informed them that I used to be quite exclusively bottom. I am told by my lover(s) that ...ahemm....I am very good in bed.... :P:P:P I guess from my experience as just go with the flow...once both of you are comfortable with each other, labels like top or bottom just doesnt really matter. It's about giving and receiving pleasure with someone you love or care. :thumb:

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  • 2 weeks later...
In this junction, maybe BW member ‘Bukit Panjang’ could translate correctly the gay slang in Bahasa or Worldangel would look the meaning in Wikipedia Bahasa?

The Japanese slang for TOP is ‘Tachi’ which literary means masculine or butch (for Lesbian) and for BOTTOM is ‘Neko’ literally means ‘Cat’. Why ..... not sure? Maybe BW member Andy@Tokyo could explain this or WA in Wikipedia Katakana? :thumb:

Sorry Uncle, the info you are looking for not available in Wikipedia or it's not updated yet :oops:

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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i pure top now. a fling asked me if he can top me cos he's flexi btm but i rejected him more than once. why? cos i dun find my btm manly enough to top me. to top someone, u dun just hav a dick - u must hav the aura of a man in bed to command your btm and to make him submissive.

i can never imagine getting top by my btm as the very reason i chose them is becos they are ku niang enough for me to dominate :smokin:

if one day, i were o date a manly guy who is a btm and wants to top me, i'll let him without question. but he has to prove his worth - his manly worth first. :hat:

Serve my fellow bottom men well !

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i pure top now...

Boya, sorry but is true that you never be a pure Top cos you ever get top before, somemore you don't mind getting fxxk by a manly Top if he is your type, most most you can only say you are Flexi Top :P

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c'mon get real. the concept of 'pure top' is only a fantasy. haven't u guys heard that 'todays top will be 2morrow's btm" ? u can only claim to be a pure top for a period and this period usually come with a validity period. those btms who believe they can find a pure pure top will only end up having their pure bubbles burst when eventually they find their tops getting nailed by someone more manly than them.

but for me, now, after experiencing both roles, i can only conclude for myself tat i enjoy being a top than offering my arse to another guy. the psycological and physical pleasure are just not there lor.

does this non-existent 'pure' concept also apply to pure btms? i dunno. maybe the proclaimed 'pure' btms' can enlighten us :B)

Serve my fellow bottom men well !

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Have lah. Pure top are those occasional straight men whom dont mind fxxking a man once in a while. And they would never want to be pocked in the rear (unless they end in prison lah :D )b

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c'mon get real. the concept of 'pure top' is only a fantasy. haven't u guys heard that 'todays top will be 2morrow's btm" ? u can only claim to be a pure top for a period and this period usually come with a validity period...

OK Boya, nothing to get so serious about the word " pure " then, so as what you say, there is no such thing as " pure ", we all guys are Flexi :P

Every body is virgin, we are not virgin only our ass enter by cock at that moment :D

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if pure top only refers to those occasional straight guys who like to anal a gay guy backside, then tats aso nt true wat. cos i top a married straight french guy who has a 10yr old daughter. he was writhing in pleasure til he comes w/o touching his cock. another straight aussie guy i topped was a neuro surgeon whom i met at the gym. he asked me to top him cos he always have the fetish of inserting hard things up his arse, even when he was still dating his gf. but this guy never came when i top him, ony keep saying " OMG, its in, its in!!" so farny till i oso can't keep hard :D

how u explain tis huh? so i ony speaking from real life experience lor. words r ony words until u put it into practice mah :D pure or flexi aree only categories that keep us frm being more open-minded mah. why restruct urself and others from opening up unknown experiences and pleasures? :thumb:

Serve my fellow bottom men well !

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i dunno abt u. bt i sure can't imagine getting top by someone effeminate in behaviour or looks. the best jap p--ns are those where 2 really manly guys top each other and from the start u can't tell which one is the btm or top. :thumb:

its the suspense mah i guess :hat:

Serve my fellow bottom men well !

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After reading all the post... I want to say something about myself... I LIKE SEX full stop. I like the idea of two people coming togather bare skin and explore each other's body and enjoy the touch and the sight of the partner either touching or being touched...

If anyone asked me whether I top or bottom.. I will say.. I LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU...

Because quite a number of times in the pass when I send out the message that I want to be fxxked by a top, most of the time during foreplay they end up lying down and opening their legs like asking me to fxxk them. Maybe it is the way I caress them or my looks or the air. Then I ended up fxxking them. They felt good and I not satisfied.

All these labels are more than position preference. It also tells of a person pyscho makeup. MOst of them go for the sound of it and the image they want to project about themselves... it is very complicated I must say

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Inthecloset, I agree with you on that. It is sex between 2 person, or in some case between those involved.

Like in Inthecloset's case, I have also encounter a few instances, when the guy claimed that he was also top but he ends up being the btm. After the sex, when I ask them why they bottom for me, the guys also say something like, since I am more manly than he, so he let me fcuk. But then, he will ask me to help him keep the secret so as not to let people knows that he had bottom. He says he would only give people he likes or someone special, etc.

I have also know friends who were top in early years, but now, he is more bottom and vice versa.

Top, btm or flexi, is just a label, then again it is may also be just a preference, it is like some would like rice, while others prefers potatoes. In any case, whether they are pure top or pure btm or pure virgin, why do we have to double guess?

As long as you guys have fun and enjoyed each other during those happy hours together, nothing else matters lor.

Anyway, to each his own.

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Guest Lookingood

What gachi_muchi says is true: have fun and enjoy! Top, bottom and flex are just labels after all.

I don't go to the discos, bars or pubs frequented by PLUs, neither do I have opportunity to talk to the PLUs here. The only place I go sometimes to is the sauna, just to have fun :) So I don't often interact at length (literally speaking, hahahah) with my encounters.

But I must qualify here that from my perspective, there is such a thing as "pure top" - one who has never been fxxked before, but does the fxxking during each encounter. He likes to fxxk so much - over 95% of the encounters ended with him topping the guy or guys (if in a group), the remaining 5% or less of the encounters he got sucked but no penetration because the bottom is not prepared or said his dick is too big! Most of the time too, the guys who hooked him sort of knew in advance that he is a top, perhaps from his aura or bearing. This "top" cannot ever imagine even a finger entering his asshole, not to mention a dick! He has no yearning to play the alternative role.

How do I know this? Because one such guy... is me!

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This "top" cannot ever imagine even a finger entering his asshole, not to mention a dick! He has no yearning to play the alternative role.

How do I know this? Because one such guy... is me!

Agree with u completely Mr Lookinggood.

I think some posters are off the mark when they tried to link being a pure top to factors such as marital status, the curiosity of a str8 guy or a person with manly countenance.

These are, at best, pheripheral indicators of some possibilities that that person is a top.

U have nicely summarised up what a pure top is and I think ur post accurately fits the more rigorous and robust definition of being a top.

You get more things done with sugar than with vinegar.

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My personal version of gay sexual roles - what they claim and what they are actually:

Top - mean they versatile

Versatile - mean they are bottom

Bottom - mean they are insatiable bottom

:D

Trust me on this. Years of research and disappointments.

Lungker - mean Golfnut in his evil twin brother mode :hat: :smokin:

Please play safely! Use a condom if you are having anal sex.

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I think some posters are off the mark when they tried to link being a pure top to factors such as marital status, the curiosity of a str8 guy or a person with manly countenance.

These are, at best, pheripheral indicators of some possibilities that that person is  a top.

U have nicely summarised up what a pure top is and I think ur post accurately fits the more rigorous and robust definition of being a top.

I'm glad my sexual partners are not as rigid as you. You will be a disappointing person to know... seem like such a nice guy but inflexible when it comes to sex.

Having coffee with you while you are thinking "Must fxxk! Must fxxk". Waste my coffee money...

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there are some people that are really " Pure " just most people are liar so make it sound fake, they like to cliam that they are Top ( Flexi or Flexi btm ) & Flexi ( mostly btm ).

Some people like to get fxxk by manly guys or guys their type, but they consider themselve as Top, haha, very insulting...

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  • G_M changed the title to How does anyone determine their role in bed ? - Are You Top, Btm Or Flexi? Which Role Should I Be? (Compiled)
  • G_M locked, unlocked and locked this topic
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