Why Some Gays Don't Date Feminine Gays? Sissy Hatred And The Love Of Straight-Actors + Am I A Serious Homophobe Of Sissy Gays? (Compiled)

[Guest Guest]

He's just metro-sexual - has all the above points that you mentioned - but there's nothing in his mannerism that suggests he's sissy...hahah

Nah, it's probably very innocent and by accident - but as long as there's no sexual connotations, there're no hang ups right?

I am a rugby player and I also play waterpolo - physical contact with private parts are part and parcel of the game woah...

Well, when I said lean, I mean he sometimes back up into me when I am supporting him...usually it's me who moves away - don't want him to think that I am a pervert even if it's an innocent contact....

Nope, I have not asked him what he likes about me...all I know is that he doesn't hate me

But we get along very well and we make each other laugh all the time

Yah, I was kidding about the fugly part. I do get my fair share of attention from both male and female admirers and so does my guy...

Honestly, I think my guy is the best thing since sliced bread (not that the both of us take bread)...and the answer would be a resounding yes

I don't have a stand on the sissy issue - I always believe in personality more than looks...

But yes, I guess in my case, opposites do attract...however, I am far more attracted to his personality and mind...

Hmmm.....rugby & waterpolo = RI?ACS?

Hmmm.....lots of physcal contact but no erection(x-,men with the power to control erectile tissue)?

Hmmm.....metrosexual(not sissy) guy secretly attracted to Straight acting guy(in this case a killer whale)?

Hmmm.....attention all sissies, ORCA888 is the only evolved individual in BW who loves all of u,unconditionally!!!!!

hehe.....

[orca888]

Hmmm.....rugby & waterpolo = RI?ACS?

Hmmm.....lots of physcal contact but no erection(x-,men with the power to control erectile tissue)?

Hmmm.....metrosexual(not sissy) guy secretly attracted to Straight acting guy(in this case a killer whale)?

Hmmm.....attention all sissies, ORCA888 is the only evolved individual in BW who loves all of u,unconditionally!!!!!

hehe.....

Close but no cigar

Cos the relationship now is not sexual although he's hot hot hot...I totally respect him as my friend and brother

Not sure about the secretly attracted but I am who I am - I don't have to "act"

LOL - thanks for the "promotion" but I only have my eyes on one guy - so I am taken

Edited March 11, 2012 by orca888

[Guest jayy]

I disagree, and here are the reasons why:

- If you "meant gripe", use the word gripe.

-"I don't bash on effeminate men or hate them. It is simply an annoyance and no more, as I have to continually educate..." So you're annoyed with effeminate men because your straight friends think all gay men are effeminate, for being who they are? Shouldn't you be annoyed with your friends?

-"I am not acknowledging the stereotype, I'm trying to break it!" If there's no stereotype in the first place, what is there for you to break?

-"I never said nor implied that I am a fortunate straight-acting gay man. That is complete and utter bullshit." vs "regular gay men like myself"... Firstly, i did not mean "fortunate" in the sense that you're rich or well off; I meant it in the sense that you're not "unlucky" enough to be part of the stereotype. Secondly, I'm curious what you mean by "regular" if effeminacy is defined as "displaying characteristics regarded as typical of a women; not manly",

which I then presume means that anti-effeminacy, ie "regular", means the opposite, which in turn means that you're not part of the unfortunate stereotype of gay men which you are not acknowledging but trying to break...

Perhaps it is just the way you have phrased yourself, the words you have chosen, that I misunderstood the real point you're trying to make. Unfortunately though, I see more things that go against what you claim you mean, as opposed to actually being in line with your argument.

1. Ok perhaps "issue" was too vague.

2. Ok, I shouldn't have used "as". I'm definitely angry with those straight folk who think all gay men are effeminate, which is why I try to educate them. And sometimes I think, if effeminate men weren't effeminate, these straight folk wouldn't have that misconception, which leads me to being annoyed at effeminate men in general. It just irritates me and I can't help how I feel. But this does not mean I hate them or would talk down to them or not befriend them or whatever.

3. The stereotype: all gay men are effeminate.

4. Just because I want to break the stereotype doesn't make me anti-effeminacy right? I'm just trying to say that there are gays that are. And those that are not.

By "regular", I simply meant average. You know, on average if you pick a random man he's more likely to show manly attributes than womanly attributes, right? I guess this is like opening a can of worms.. because we're going to argue who defines normal versus exception...

[Guest d]

Jay, just because your straight friends deem that all gay men are effeminate does not give you the valid reason to feel annoy with them. Instead of blaming them for your predicament, it is more worthwhile to examine your motivations. Your attempt to blame the effeminate gay man in impeding the acceptance of gay people in general speaks volume of yourself. You are desperately trying to make yourself acceptable in the eyes of your straight friends by making yourself straight-acting, and you blame those effeminate ones for ruining your attempt by 'perpectuating' the gay stereotype. Very devious and selfish I would say.

[Guest Guest]

Sheesh!!

Whenever such a topic comes up, all the sissies will self-righteously bash the straight-acting ones and accuse them of desperately trying to make themselves acceptable to the straight community.

Why don't those sissies examine their behaviour first? Are their parents proud of their ways?

[TheAntisen]

It's really no different to how the straight-actors bash effeminate guys for ruining the image of gays.

All this energy from internal bashing should be directed in to trying to make people understand that we have our own unique personalities, need/wants, ideals and direction, regardless of sexual preference. Just because a guy is effeminate, that doesn't make him any less or more of a person. Similarly to how just because a gay guy is in to football, that doesn't make him any more or less of a person. A person's value should be judged by his actions, not by a societal stereotype.

Take this scenario:

Straight-acting gay guy: Is an asshole, likes to sleep around with other people, treats people like shit.

Effeminate gay guy: Is nice, respects people, always goes through the trouble of making you feel comfortable.

Who would you more likely be friends with (don't factor in sex)?

Edited March 13, 2012 by TheAntisen

[TheVisitors]

Now you're being a hypocrite Zaihan. Can I ask you, do you prefer sissies or boyish guys? Would you be ok if your life partner is a sissy? If you're not, and if you indeed are attracted to boyish guys, then you're part of the huge camp of individuals: old men who like young men, Indians/Malays who like Chinese, Chubs who like fit guys, etc.

Now do I even have to explain this? So many uncles complain that youngsters are superficial and mind their age. They themselves mind their own age!! They don't even seek other uncles, and if faced with someone twenty years older than they are, they would be utterly repulsed!! So how dare they expect younger guys to be attracted to them or not mind their age? Similarly, some, I SAID SOME, Indians and Malays go after Chinese guys and are not even okay with guys their own race. As for chubs who want fit guys or expect other guys to accept them, it's the same. Until they themselves are okay with getting involved with other chubs, they are simply hypocritical. Even if you are indeed okay with someone like yourself(your age, your body, your face), that still does not give you the right to get angry with people who are not okay with you. Because given a choice, you'd want what they want as well.

Dear Truth.

I have been following up most of your astonishing postings, and really applause fo your thinking, because , very seldom , will you find someone who can present such intelligent hard facts and sharp observations to the truth in life....here

However, to add on to your already said view, hypocisy do exist in every level, from the tiniest subtle, to the most obvious glaring.

In whatever sense, when the truth of your sermons preached, does not equate to the truth practised, the talk the talk is already a form of hypocrisy.

Kind of reminds me of someone here.

On one hand, he preaches a long winded love and acceptances of trannies and transexual here, but on the other, in reality it seems, pretty confusing, if not puzzling. And I am getting abit of the giggles here

When we were supposed to meet for a short lunch, even before we met in person, he hesitated, but prompted a question, which I already knew what was already in his mind, even before he asked.

He asked me, if I belong to those gays who behaved effeminately, or dressed effeminately in public, because he does not like to associate himself with such class of gays.. Simply because, their behaviour arouse public attention, that will suspect and mock his own sexuality , as a gay man.

No doubt everyone is entitled to who they want to associate, but I do find, such a question, reflects on a person's true capacity to accept others which he thinks, lesser to his manly behaviour And ,In addition, his own sexuality being exposed, even thought, there is a constant boasting about he and his boyfriend's long term relationship, is already known to families and friends.

I was actually thinking to myself, I don't even bother how you look like and who you are, so why do you came out with such kind of judgement on others?

Although the mention of trannies, and transexual are abit off topic here, it is to highlight that they are included with effeminate boys who are all judged together, as the lesser kinds, among our gay/bisexual communities.

As I will reiterate once more, hypocrisy does exist in all levels.

Unless you have a very valid objective reason, why the need to judge?

[Guest Guest]

Dear Truth.

I have been following up most of your astonishing postings, and really applause fo your thinking, because , very seldom , will you find someone who can present such intelligent hard facts and sharp observations to the truth in life....here

LOL, true

[Guest Guest]

A person's value should be judged by his actions, not by a societal stereotype.

Take this scenario:

Straight-acting gay guy: Is an asshole, likes to sleep around with other people, treats people like shit.

Effeminate gay guy: Is nice, respects people, always goes through the trouble of making you feel comfortable.

Who would you more likely be friends with (don't factor in sex)?

What kind of ridiculous scenario is that?

You should be asking which brings more shame to the gay community - sissy or non-sissy actions?

There, you have your answer.

[Guest Guesty]

Suddenly all the sissies kept quiet.

They must be running back to their mother's lap, like this:

[mispronounced]

On 3/12/2012 at 1:10 AM, d said:

 

On 3/13/2012 at 1:52 PM, Guest said:

 

On 3/13/2012 at 5:05 PM, Guesty said:

 

Edited February 19, 2016 by mispronounced

[Guest Truth]

I wouldn't say hypocrisy exists on all levels, but it's all about your perspective. Standing from your perspective, you'd see the wrongs about things and people but not yourself. Whether you're a man, woman, teacher, student, wife, husband, child, etc, you'd be more inclined to lament about certain things and see things from your perspective. A teacher scolds a student for things that she had most probably done when she was a student(roll eyes at those who disagree; because believe me, I KNOW that's the case). A father scolds his son for mistakes that he did when he was young. A student laments about school life and that they do not have freedom to do things. I guess it's like knowing that something is wrong but we still do it even though we tell others not to do it. Knowing that judging is wrong but when we ourselves do it unknowingly and uncontrollably(next time when you judge someone so very "judge-able", try not to) it's okay. Like eating unhealthy food, knowing that it's really bad and really hating it but still gobbling it down. Can that count as hypocrisy too? A bit of a vague connection/analogy here though.

As for the hypocritical person that you've mentioned, I guess it all boils down to our superficiality. I guess for some people they wouldn't be ashamed to come out of the closet if their partner is handsome and non-sissy. It really does make things less shameful to a certain extend don't you think? But of course all that judging is unnecessary. I have very sissy friends too, and some of them are actually quite popular(I guess they're really nice)! So notwithstanding all the undeserved severe judgment, whether a sissy guy is liked by others or condemned has to do a lot with his personality and the combination of all those characteristics. Haven't we all seen some flamboyant sissies that are accepted by cliques and groups wherever they go? The point is that there are too many things to rage about in life, and if we can't just accept things and let go, realising that these things don't really affect us greatly on a personal level, then we're doomed to an angsty life.

[Guest Truth]

Jay, just because your straight friends deem that all gay men are effeminate does not give you the valid reason to feel annoy with them. Instead of blaming them for your predicament, it is more worthwhile to examine your motivations. Your attempt to blame the effeminate gay man in impeding the acceptance of gay people in general speaks volume of yourself. You are desperately trying to make yourself acceptable in the eyes of your straight friends by making yourself straight-acting, and you blame those effeminate ones for ruining your attempt by 'perpectuating' the gay stereotype. Very devious and selfish I would say.

]

It's curious how you judge Jay as someone devious and selfish, and you do not even allow him to be "annoyed". His mere expression of annoyance with sissies giving gays a bad reputation spurred such a presumptuous judgement. Aren't we all annoyed about certain things and people? Aren't you annoyed when a group mate's tardiness pulled down your project grades in school? Or annoyed about Steven Lim giving Singaporeans a bad image? Of course I'm not agreeing with his statements, because he does not have the right to discriminate against sissies just for that. But to be annoyed, or to blame without discrimination and hateful actions towards that group, is fully his right. Discrimination and prejudice are different. Everybody is prejudiced, but not everybody discriminates.

[Guest Truth]

What sissies should rethink is their expectations. Expect tolerance, yes. Hateful actions and discrimination are never justified, unless of course, you treat others that way. Acceptance, not even normal people can expect that everywhere they go. And yet some are expecting others to EMBRACE them, meaning to put themselves in their shoes, to empathise with them and their behaviour, to understand them and protect them from judgement. I'm sorry but that, only you can do.

Of course, I understand that when a gay dude severely judges a sissy gay dude, he probably has insecurities about his own manliness and fears and all that crap. But we all have insecurities and fears and we all react adversely when we see a projection of them, and also we project them onto others. Your annoyance with his annoyance with the sissy population; your anger at his anger at the sissy population; your judgement of his judgement of the sissy population; aren't they the exact same thing? Only varying in degrees and reasonableness. And if you want to point out my hypocrisy, let it be known that I never claimed to be more impartial or more clear-headed about issues that I'm grappling with, but of course I see more clearly issues that I'm not quite bothered by. I merely provide perspective so that we all can find our own truths.

[Guest Guest]

^{As long as a gay is straight-acting, it's easier for him to blend into the hetero-majority & be accepted, quietly.}

^{A sissy gay is scorned at bcoz his behaviour is too extreme to conform to the whole. He's also a 'social threat' waiting to be crucifed.}

^{Unless there's another planet for all gays to migrate to.}

[TheAntisen]

What kind of ridiculous scenario is that?

You should be asking which brings more shame to the gay community - sissy or non-sissy actions?

There, you have your answer.

The point of the scenario was to force people into looking at the individual, not at the labels that society has decided to put on them.

Edited March 13, 2012 by TheAntisen

[Guest jayy]

] It's curious how you judge Jay as someone devious and selfish, and you do not even allow him to be "annoyed". His mere expression of annoyance with sissies giving gays a bad reputation spurred such a presumptuous judgement. Aren't we all annoyed about certain things and people? Aren't you annoyed when a group mate's tardiness pulled down your project grades in school? Or annoyed about Steven Lim giving Singaporeans a bad image? Of course I'm not agreeing with his statements, because he does not have the right to discriminate against sissies just for that. But to be annoyed, or to blame without discrimination and hateful actions towards that group, is fully his right. Discrimination and prejudice are different. Everybody is prejudiced, but not everybody discriminates.

Thank you for understanding. In my original post I was merely stating my feelings. My intention was not to discriminate or persecute.

I find it really strange that people are saying that I'm "desperately trying to act straight". Where in my posts is this implied...? I don't act anything. I don't go out of my way to hide my sexuality. If someone asks I'll say and I not ashamed of it or afraid of what straight folk think. I behave like any ordinary average Joe you'd see on the street.

[Guest Truth]

Thank you for understanding. In my original post I was merely stating my feelings. My intention was not to discriminate or persecute. I find it really strange that people are saying that I'm "desperately trying to act straight". Where in my posts is this implied...? I don't act anything. I don't go out of my way to hide my sexuality. If someone asks I'll say and I not ashamed of it or afraid of what straight folk think. I behave like any ordinary average Joe you'd see on the street.

You're welcome. I'm merely stating the truth. People jump into conclusions and presume things because of their insecurities, fears, past experiences and deep-seated angst. They project all that emotional baggage onto everything in their lives, so at the slightest opportunity, all their perceptions get "corroborated" or "confirmed". Of course nobody is immune to that, but some see things more clearly that others. But from others' responses and their projection and emotional responses to statements that do not usually elicit such emotions, you can deduce with fair accuracy their pertinent complexes; what exists in the deepest recesses of their heart and mind. I don't want to point out the deep complexes, experiences and fears of d, mispronounced, and Zaihan, because that's at the heart of their soul, but I'm sure you do not have to be a psychologist to roughly know what those are now. Of course from my earlier responses you could also make out my perceptions, fears, experiences, and outlook in life to a small extent. But always know that you see others through the lens of your own perception, so nobody's perception is untainted. Your judgement of my perceptions and fears and what not are also colored by those of your own.

[Guest Guest]

Now do I even have to explain this? So many uncles complain that youngsters are superficial and mind their age. They themselves mind their own age!! They don't even seek other uncles, and if faced with someone twenty years older than they are, they would be utterly repulsed!! So how dare they expect younger guys to be attracted to them or not mind their age?

I am an uncle and I am attracted mostly to men a bit younger than myself. But I would not complain when some younger men are discriminating against older. I would challenge their views that all uncles are ugly. I am not trying to attract these ugly youngsters back to like uncles. I am trying to keep them as far away as possible.

I don't mind people older than me. But then they are not my cup of tea. So when touched by an older man, I won't make a scene and post it for all to read. I'll tell him nicely not interested and if he is nice enough, I'll let him feel a little before removing his hands.

As I always say,

A - No matter how goodlooking you are, there will be someone who do not find you attractive.

B - No matter how ugly you are, there will be someone who find you attractive.

You need to be confident of yourself to look beyond those small minded people who discriminate others because their own insecurities.

I have preferences but I don't discriminate.

[TheAntisen]

I have preferences but I don't discriminate.

Words to live by.

[Guest Guest]

Non-preference is a form of discrimination, even if it's not outright or blatant.

If you don't prefer sissies like the one below, that means you discriminate against them!

[Guest Guest]

I am an uncle and I am attracted mostly to men a bit younger than myself. But I would not complain when some younger men are discriminating against older. I would challenge their views that all uncles are ugly. I am not trying to attract these ugly youngsters back to like uncles. I am trying to keep them as far away as possible.

I don't mind people older than me. But then they are not my cup of tea. So when touched by an older man, I won't make a scene and post it for all to read. I'll tell him nicely not interested and if he is nice enough, I'll let him feel a little before removing his hands.

As I always say,

A - No matter how goodlooking you are, there will be someone who do not find you attractive.

B - No matter how ugly you are, there will be someone who find you attractive.

You need to be confident of yourself to look beyond those small minded people who discriminate others because their own insecurities.

I have preferences but I don't discriminate.

I am uncle, too. I attract ppl of all age groups. I am also not that desirable to a few others. I am fine with that.

I dun like the youngster 20 to 25 coz I m old enuff to be their father.

I dun like those who dance around & lip synch as if they r possessed by Whitney(sorril)

I dun like those who strut around like they are Spore Nxt Top Models.

I dun like those who are supermacho - butcher, gangster, etc

I dun like GongX2 (60 & above) whom I afraid they kenna heart-attack if 2 excited.

I dun like uncle(my group) who kept staring at you & help themselves to your 'raisins' & 'banana'.

It's better to ask in a polite "Can I feel your 'banana', if it's ripe, i would like to makan it".

No free touch or sample, unlike other nice & kind uncles

If i say no or walk away, pls dun turn around & curse "I hope your banana rot & u kenna rape, u think u so high class"

I have a question for those who think they are sissies(ah gal, auntie, lao lao).

Is there a reason for you to behave like you are a woman trapped in a man's body? Is it to attract attention to yourself ?

Is it more effective to get guys that you like? If someone(gay or straight) walk pass you & shouted 'chow ah kua', do you think u deserved it or you are being discrimnated?

[Guest jb1]

Non-preference is a form of discrimination, even if it's not outright or blatant.

If you don't prefer sissies like the one below, that means you discriminate against them!

Not all sissies are that drama.

I don't prefer sissies but I don't discriminate.

Once I was at Shogun watching movie at the 3rd storey big TV room and lying on the big bed. This sissy guy came up to me and started touching me. I told him not interested. He went away but later came back. He touched me again. I told him very nicely, "if you touch me some more, I will have to charge you money for this service."

That got him and people nearby laughing. He left me alone then.

That is how I have preference without discriminating.

Then another time at Hercules steam room. This 70+ old man asked me very nicely," lao xiong, can I touch you?"

I told him no right away. Then he said," as an uncle I thought you will understand that we older men are very lonely. What is just some minor thing to you is a very important thing to me. On the MRT they pity us old men and allow us to sit. In sauna, if you pity me, can you let me touch you? 求求你啦。 可能明天我已经不在了。"

That last sentence was an emotional blackmail. Kind of bad karma if he really needed it and I refused him.

So I told him, "我对你没有性交的兴趣。你摸我，我也不会硬的。你已经几岁啦，应该看看就够啦。“

He said," 那我摸你的手脚不算是性交吧。当做朋友握握手啦“

I said,"那就当然可以啦“

So he merrily touched my hands up to the armpit which was ticklish.

When he touched my legs and slowly moved up, I sensed something was not right. I grabbed his hand and stopped him at my thighs.

He said,"刚才我摸你的手到那毛毛的地方，你还喜欢到笑呵呵的。为什么摸你的脚不让我摸到毛毛的地方呢。“

”哗，ah pek ah, 那里是禁区leh.不要玩玩啦。“

“什么玩玩啦，那里又不是用来性交玩玩的。”

”是啦，你很厉害啦，说不过你啦，不要这样啦，够啦“

”你答应让我摸的。大丈夫，说得到要做得到啦。“

”你太过分啦“

”我是过分一点啦。但是我已经想了很久才想到的。我。。我。。真的很想摸“

So I had to let go of his hands and slowly it went to my butt. There it stopped and tickled my ass hairs. It tickles but in a shy way. In the dim light I can see his cock was still limp and small. What a relief that this is non sexual.

Then came the 64 M$ question..."你被男男人玩过吗？“

”喂，你那里可以这样问的“

”应为如果啦，你没有被男人玩过，我的手指进去就不能算是性交啦。

但是如果你有被男人玩过，我的手指进去你就会爽，那算是性交了。

怎么样，有没有啊？我答应过不可以跟你性交的。

有,我就不能进，没有,我就可以进啦“

I was too shy to admit it, then I answered yes since he was already touching me there, let him inside won't be a big deal.

With the sweat from the steam, he went in too easily and when he tickled me inside, I moaned involuntarily. Though it was late and deserted, I was afraid someone may come in. I myself was actually towelling myself in the steam room and about to leave.

I pulled out his finger and told him that was enough.

Anyway, after that night I never met him again. Maybe he moved on and luckily I don't get bad karma troubling my conscience.

[Guest Guest]

thanks for being myopic as usual. Yes, because all "sissies' behave like that. Instead of bringing something objective and useful to the table, you offer an animated gif. How enlightened you must be.

You imply (directly or otherwise) that not all sissies behave like that.

Obviously you mean there are some sissies who behave in that way and they're therefore something to be shameful about.

If you can't even stand by the really undesirable sissies, then don't be a hypocrite talking about acceptance of sissies.

[TheAntisen]

You imply (directly or otherwise) that not all sissies behave like that.

Obviously you mean there are some sissies who behave in that way and they're therefore something to be shameful about.

If you can't even stand by the really undesirable sissies, then don't be a hypocrite talking about acceptance of sissies.

Do you fail to see things as a spectrum? Of course there are annoying ass sissies. You know, those overly whiny one's that act like the queen of the world. I get why people dislike such behavior. However ANYONE can be just as annoying, regardless of their sexual orientation. I think that one should only look at their behavior, not at their sexual orientation. If a straight guy acts like a dick head, no one says "Omg, that fxxking hetero", "I hope he burns in hell". So why should these annoying sissies suffer such a fate? Because identifying yourself as gay automatically converts your personality? Chances are that this person would probably be just as annoying even if they were straight or lesbian.

Call people a hypocrite all you want, but some people in this thread strike me as those that try not to judge a book by it's cover. There are people that unfortunately get branded as something they are not because these ignorant labels. Someone can be effeminate or enjoy dressing up in strange clothes but might just be a really cool person to hang out with. But because of how "gay" is tagged with "shit and rainbows", people will stay away from this person.

To sum it up, judge a person by their personality and actions not by stupid labels.

[Mandrake]

Man will be man. We like to compare, one from another.

We love one and hate the other are harsh words.

But if we prefer one, it is like rejecting the other.

I always hear sissy man enraged when they are criticised for their sissyness....

but when they chose, they discriminate the sissy ones themselves.

I hear people complaining that people don't respect them...

And they only give respect to a certain people.

They did not realise... they are doing the very same things to themselves.

So give basic respect to all and fxxk the respect once and for all.

Be who you want to be and perhaps the Prince will love you for your gayness.

Where's the catch? Are you already who you want to be or you secretly dislike yourself?

Is who you want to be undesirable to others? Do you take the risk of going through the trouble.

It is all a choice and you are entitled to change your mind.

You are confused. Yes, pierce into the

Kaleidoscope

and accept the starry view. Lost and found again... till you find your angel and that Angel can be you. *Wink*

Edited March 15, 2012 by Mandrake

[Guest Guest]

Not all sissies are that drama.

I don't prefer sissies but I don't discriminate.

Once I was at Shogun watching movie at the 3rd storey big TV room and lying on the big bed. This sissy guy came up to me and started touching me. I told him not interested. He went away but later came back. He touched me again. I told him very nicely, "if you touch me some more, I will have to charge you money for this service."

That got him and people nearby laughing. He left me alone then.

That is how I have preference without discriminating.

Then another time at Hercules steam room. This 70+ old man asked me very nicely," lao xiong, can I touch you?"

I told him no right away. Then he said," as an uncle I thought you will understand that we older men are very lonely. What is just some minor thing to you is a very important thing to me. On the MRT they pity us old men and allow us to sit. In sauna, if you pity me, can you let me touch you? 求求你啦。 可能明天我已经不在了。"

That last sentence was an emotional blackmail. Kind of bad karma if he really needed it and I refused him.

So I told him, "我对你没有性交的兴趣。你摸我，我也不会硬的。你已经几岁啦，应该看看就够啦。“

He said," 那我摸你的手脚不算是性交吧。当做朋友握握手啦“

I said,"那就当然可以啦“

So he merrily touched my hands up to the armpit which was ticklish.

When he touched my legs and slowly moved up, I sensed something was not right. I grabbed his hand and stopped him at my thighs.

He said,"刚才我摸你的手到那毛毛的地方，你还喜欢到笑呵呵的。为什么摸你的脚不让我摸到毛毛的地方呢。“

”哗，ah pek ah, 那里是禁区leh.不要玩玩啦。“

“什么玩玩啦，那里又不是用来性交玩玩的。”

”是啦，你很厉害啦，说不过你啦，不要这样啦，够啦“

”你答应让我摸的。大丈夫，说得到要做得到啦。“

”你太过分啦“

”我是过分一点啦。但是我已经想了很久才想到的。我。。我。。真的很想摸“

So I had to let go of his hands and slowly it went to my butt. There it stopped and tickled my ass hairs. It tickles but in a shy way. In the dim light I can see his cock was still limp and small. What a relief that this is non sexual.

Then came the 64 M$ question..."你被男男人玩过吗？“

”喂，你那里可以这样问的“

”应为如果啦，你没有被男人玩过，我的手指进去就不能算是性交啦。

但是如果你有被男人玩过，我的手指进去你就会爽，那算是性交了。

怎么样，有没有啊？我答应过不可以跟你性交的。

有,我就不能进，没有,我就可以进啦“

I was too shy to admit it, then I answered yes since he was already touching me there, let him inside won't be a big deal.

With the sweat from the steam, he went in too easily and when he tickled me inside, I moaned involuntarily. Though it was late and deserted, I was afraid someone may come in. I myself was actually towelling myself in the steam room and about to leave.

I pulled out his finger and told him that was enough.

Anyway, after that night I never met him again. Maybe he moved on and luckily I don't get bad karma troubling my conscience.

Wow, I think u r also longing to be touched.

After hearing your story, I sort of feel emotionally blackmailed.I am very troubled lei.

I think must go to sauna this wknd to invest in good karma by offering these straight acting or sissy senior citizens free SEXUAL HEALING. Then after that I hope to strike Big Sweep or TOTO 1st prize.

SEX IS NOT CHARITY. IF NOT, I WOULD HAVE DONATED MY VIRGINITY LONG TIME AGO.

[Guest Guest]

Sissies hates sissies. They want to be fxxked by straighting-acting men.

Straight-acting men loves straight-acting men. Straight-acting men dun not like sissies.

Now I get it.

[Guest Guest]

Wow, I think u r also longing to be touched.

After hearing your story, I sort of feel emotionally blackmailed.I am very troubled lei.

I think must go to sauna this wknd to invest in good karma by offering these straight acting or sissy senior citizens free SEXUAL HEALING. Then after that I hope to strike Big Sweep or TOTO 1st prize.

SEX IS NOT CHARITY. IF NOT, I WOULD HAVE DONATED MY VIRGINITY LONG TIME AGO.

Haha, I know there will be such comments from these bitchy ones.

I am very confident of my own looks to tell people these so unflattery things. If they are judgemental then good, at least I found out early. I am not embarrassed. I like to use these things to shock people into revealing their real hidden self when caught off guard.

[Rafa87]

Very interesting read, and this reminds me of a good friend of mine who perpetuates all the qualities of a quintessential "sissy" (the lady like demeanor, high pitched voice, pale complexion, petite frame). It doesnt help that his complexion is horrid ! Like many fellow sissies, he is well aware of how people perceive him and the fact that his girly mannerisms and effeminate traits have contributed to his somewhat "low" market value in the gay scene. Over the last couple of years, he is always grumbling and whining that majority of the gays he meet are malicious and vindictive because of the ostracism and unnecessary bullying he has been subjected to, not to mention all the disparaging remarks that he is "girly", sissy", "ugly", "looks like a clown/ghost", "chao ah gua" on grindr from his so-called detractors. He always claims that he is not expecting people to embrace him or gaga over his looks, as all he expects is a little more respect and tolerance, and the freedom to be who he really is without having to endure all the teasing and vicious mockery.

Nonetheless, the exasperation, jealousy that he is clearly not as popular as his peers,the indignation that he is not as desirable as he expects himself to be, the feeling of self-pity not to mention angst that he has been unfairly treated in the dating scene, are pretty obvious. There was once he told me that he was seriously baffled that i was more popular than him because he thought he was clearly the better looking one and that if i weren't as tanned as i was back then, he would most likley have outshone me. Those were the exact words he said and it was only then that it struck me that the rampant discrimination was never the sole factor causing the distress. It was more of him behaving like a sore loser, refusal to accept that he would never come close to becoming the popular gay star that he had always aspired to be, the bitterness that it was virtually impossible for others to perceive him as the cream of the crop in terms of physical attributes, and the sense of helplessness that he could barely do anything to change the situation except bitch and bitch.

I'm more convinced that this is the case because of what i learnt over coffee a few days back. My friend was relating to me that someone on Grindr called him a ghost and asked him to buy a mirror when he took the initiative to chat him up. When i was looking through his chat logs (he allowed me to do so), i was appalled that my friend only made an effort to talk to all the good-looking, muscular/gym-fit hunks and he basically ignored all the below average looking ones, or simply those who did not appear to have a fit bod. Not that there is anything wrong (everyone has their preferences), but what annoyed me was that while all along he has been complaining about being an easy victim of taunting and ridicule on Grindr , he is also deliberately, single-mindedly and stubbornly seeking the drop dead gorgeous dudes. I'm not condoning the vileness of those guys who insulted him but i believe that if you jolly well know where you stand but still insist in courting those guys that are totally out of your reach, then you should be prepared to face a certain level of rejection or worse, repulsion from the other end. The fact that he shuns the average looking guys reinforces my belief that he is nothing but a hypocritical, attention-seeking drama queen.

And i just wanna tell Truth that i agree whole-heartedly with every single thing u said here, very very insightful thoughts.

Edited March 15, 2012 by Rafa87

[Guest Guest]

Sissy then sissy loh.... When I was studying abroad, those Ang Mos will not fail to use me at least once a week. Forced me to suck their dicks or fxxk my tight ass simply becos I am soft and sissy. Of cos I acted as if I hated it and tried to fight back lah, but deep inside I was so happy, don't know how enjoyable......they can do me 24 by 7

[samsara]

Zaihan Kariyani.... what a pretty name!

Tell you what, life's about diversity. So is the gay community. Gay community can be as diverse as human beings of different races. Masculine, straight-acting, Macho Marys, closeted, bisexual, transgendered and effeminate guys, so on. So let's take things in stride as we go through different stages of life. It's already a pain in the ass to try to change people's mindset towards "sisters" (I don't like to use this derogatory term, sissy but rather "sister").

Oh yes, from your command of English, you are pretty educated. I've also seen a few smart "sisters" studying in my university. Especially a group of "sisters" took a same chemistry module as me. I crudely assumed that they won't be seen in technical arenas but in arts/social sciences. But I was wrong. When I spotted them walking up the aisle in lecture theater like "making waves", I was like repeating "OMGOSH?!" Haha. But it's not the whole point here. Now I meant to say that "sisters" can be unique and smart, not just an entire group of failed offsprings of humankind with limp-twisted features.

And Voguelicious dance group rocks!

Peace with you all. (:

[samsara]

Sissy then sissy loh.... When I was studying abroad, those Ang Mos will not fail to use me at least once a week. Forced me to suck their dicks or fxxk my tight ass simply becos I am soft and sissy. Of cos I acted as if I hated it and tried to fight back lah, but deep inside I was so happy, don't know how enjoyable......they can do me 24 by 7

Fail.

[Guest Guest]

Fail.

Paseed - Doctorate in the discovery of new bacteria - sissy slut.

[Guest Guest2]

Paseed - Doctorate in the discovery of new bacteria - sissy slut.

LOL

[TheAntisen]

Paseed?

[Guest Guest]

Zaihan Kariyani.... what a pretty name!

Tell you what, life's about diversity. So is the gay community. Gay community can be as diverse as human beings of different races. Masculine, straight-acting, Macho Marys, closeted, bisexual, transgendered and effeminate guys, so on. So let's take things in stride as we go through different stages of life. It's already a pain in the ass to try to change people's mindset towards "sisters" (I don't like to use this derogatory term, sissy but rather "sister").

Oh yes, from your command of English, you are pretty educated. I've also seen a few smart "sisters" studying in my university. Especially a group of "sisters" took a same chemistry module as me. I crudely assumed that they won't be seen in technical arenas but in arts/social sciences. But I was wrong. When I spotted them walking up the aisle in lecture theater like "making waves", I was like repeating "OMGOSH?!" Haha. But it's not the whole point here. Now I meant to say that "sisters" can be unique and smart, not just an entire group of failed offsprings of humankind with limp-twisted features.

And Voguelicious dance group rocks!

Peace with you all. (:

YES, we need sisters(yin) to contrast how straight-acting(yang) we are.

[Mandrake]

YES, we need sisters(yin) to contrast how straight-acting(yang) we are.

You mean like every community needs a villian, a town witch and a village idiot, to make the rest good.

Don't forget the salt. Heh...

[TheVisitors]

Very interesting read, and this reminds me of a good friend of mine who perpetuates all the qualities of a quintessential "sissy" (the lady like demeanor, high pitched voice, pale complexion, petite frame). It doesnt help that his complexion is horrid ! Like many fellow sissies, he is well aware of how people perceive him and the fact that his girly mannerisms and effeminate traits have contributed to his somewhat "low" market value in the gay scene. Over the last couple of years, he is always grumbling and whining that majority of the gays he meet are malicious and vindictive because of the ostracism and unnecessary bullying he has been subjected to, not to mention all the disparaging remarks that he is "girly", sissy", "ugly", "looks like a clown/ghost", "chao ah gua" on grindr from his so-called detractors. He always claims that he is not expecting people to embrace him or gaga over his looks, as all he expects is a little more respect and tolerance, and the freedom to be who he really is without having to endure all the teasing and vicious mockery.

Nonetheless, the exasperation, jealousy that he is clearly not as popular as his peers,the indignation that he is not as desirable as he expects himself to be, the feeling of self-pity not to mention angst that he has been unfairly treated in the dating scene, are pretty obvious. There was once he told me that he was seriously baffled that i was more popular than him because he thought he was clearly the better looking one and that if i weren't as tanned as i was back then, he would most likley have outshone me. Those were the exact words he said and it was only then that it struck me that the rampant discrimination was never the sole factor causing the distress. It was more of him behaving like a sore loser, refusal to accept that he would never come close to becoming the popular gay star that he had always aspired to be, the bitterness that it was virtually impossible for others to perceive him as the cream of the crop in terms of physical attributes, and the sense of helplessness that he could barely do anything to change the situation except bitch and bitch.

I'm more convinced that this is the case because of what i learnt over coffee a few days back. My friend was relating to me that someone on Grindr called him a ghost and asked him to buy a mirror when he took the initiative to chat him up. When i was looking through his chat logs (he allowed me to do so), i was appalled that my friend only made an effort to talk to all the good-looking, muscular/gym-fit hunks and he basically ignored all the below average looking ones, or simply those who did not appear to have a fit bod. Not that there is anything wrong (everyone has their preferences), but what annoyed me was that while all along he has been complaining about being an easy victim of taunting and ridicule on Grindr , he is also deliberately, single-mindedly and stubbornly seeking the drop dead gorgeous dudes. I'm not condoning the vileness of those guys who insulted him but i believe that if you jolly well know where you stand but still insist in courting those guys that are totally out of your reach, then you should be prepared to face a certain level of rejection or worse, repulsion from the other end. The fact that he shuns the average looking guys reinforces my belief that he is nothing but a hypocritical, attention-seeking drama queen.

And i just wanna tell Truth that i agree whole-heartedly with every single thing u said here, very very insightful thoughts.

One more things you will realize about them.

When alone or in solo, they will be quiet and as timid as a mouse.

But it is when they come in a group, like a pack of giggling hyenas, then their behaviours become so loud and flamboyant,. The disilludeds, who think such behaviours are catchy trendy, hip, glam, gracious, making feel so beautiful about themselves, but actually, they are more like a group of socialliy rejecetd misfits, Not to mention their sense of fashion.

Some realy dressed up. if they are some colour-blinded circus clown, who just got retired, or got sacked from the circus for their very gross fashion sense

No one will judge you unless your public behaviour is that annoying.

Such annoying, ones can be found it clubs, more especially in saunas.

The whole loud and annoying group can hound and harass you, without limits, thinking it is fun and it is their rights to do so.

If you dont roar into their face, or punch their face like a fearsome tiger, they will go on, thinking you are sick cat.

I have done that before, when push to my limits. And I have witness some were slapped by other guys who found them very annoying

This is the only way they can be stopped.

[Guest Guest]

Paseed?

Pa seed = Pai Si = teochew= naughty lah

[Guest Guest]

The whole loud and annoying group can hound and harass you, without limits, thinking it is fun and it is their rights to do so. If you dont roar into their face, or punch their face like a fearsome tiger, they will go on, thinking you are sick cat.

These old sissies are just horny attention whores.

Give them a cucumber or a brinjal, they need some attention down under.

[koolkai]

Some realy dressed up. if they are some colour-blinded circus clown, who just got retired, or got sacked from the circus for their very gross fashion sense

Do you mean the effeminate gays have no fashion sense? Could you give us some examples?

Edited March 16, 2012 by koolkai

[Guest Ghostbusters]

someone on Grindr called him a ghost and asked him to buy a mirror when he took the initiative to chat him up.

I LOLED!

[Guest Truth]

And i just wanna tell Truth that i agree whole-heartedly with every single thing u said here, very very insightful thoughts.

Aww! Thank you Rafa, I'll like to get to know u haha

[Guest d]

You're welcome. I'm merely stating the truth. People jump into conclusions and presume things because of their insecurities, fears, past experiences and deep-seated angst. They project all that emotional baggage onto everything in their lives, so at the slightest opportunity, all their perceptions get "corroborated" or "confirmed". Of course nobody is immune to that, but some see things more clearly that others. But from others' responses and their projection and emotional responses to statements that do not usually elicit such emotions, you can deduce with fair accuracy their pertinent complexes; what exists in the deepest recesses of their heart and mind. I don't want to point out the deep complexes, experiences and fears of d, mispronounced, and Zaihan, because that's at the heart of their soul, but I'm sure you do not have to be a psychologist to roughly know what those are now. Of course from my earlier responses you could also make out my perceptions, fears, experiences, and outlook in life to a small extent. But always know that you see others through the lens of your own perception, so nobody's perception is untainted. Your judgement of my perceptions and fears and what not are also colored by those of your own.

Hi truth, I am afraid to say that you are also jumping into conclusion too. I don't think you know me well at all to paychoanlysis me by judging what is my fears from my comments. It is not your or anyone else's business to label me as of a certain category because I make that remarks to jay. I admit it is unwarranted as I'm accusing him but these remarks are meant to be directed to those straight acting gays who bash sissies. I am as unapologetic as those forumers who bash sissies. In fact, it doesn't take a sissy to endorse such views, sometimes it can be simply people sympathetic to sissies are calling for acceptance of them. I'm sick and tired of reading those anti-sissy comments and having some people here justifying them. It doesn't need to take a sissy to be upset over such remarks, any person with a conscience will feel the same way too.

[Guest Guest]

These old sissies are just horny attention whores.

Give them a cucumber or a brinjal, they need some attention down under.

Better dun, they will make salad out of those.

May I suggest Silicon Pipe, Recycled TekKo & Curtain Rod,

These are stronger, durable, washable & can be passed down to the nxt generation as heirloom.

Save the World, Don't waste food!

[Guest Guest]

Do you mean the effeminate gays have no fashion sense? Could you give us some examples?

Effeminate gays are more sensitive to colors & forms. They do have better taste than the average beng tee ganasai gay.

The problem is that they tends to go for unique(sometimes outlandish) and softer representation.

U think a HERMES scarf look nice on a gay man?

Or blink blink T-shirt makes a gay man looks like a 3rd rate JLo?

Fancy hairband that makes a gay man looks like Angelina Joline(or SunMoKong?) so he could turn along & whisper to all her admirer "U NOT WORTH TO LOOK AT ME"

The shoulder bag that is bigger than my maid Conceula's shopping basket which she carries to the market?

[koolkai]

These old sissies are just horny attention whores. Give them a cucumber or a brinjal, they need some attention down under.

Are those loud gays tend to be older?

[Guest Truth]

Hi truth, I am afraid to say that you are also jumping into conclusion too. I don't think you know me well at all to paychoanlysis me by judging what is my fears from my comments. It is not your or anyone else's business to label me as of a certain category because I make that remarks to jay. I admit it is unwarranted as I'm accusing him but these remarks are meant to be directed to those straight acting gays who bash sissies. I am as unapologetic as those forumers who bash sissies. In fact, it doesn't take a sissy to endorse such views, sometimes it can be simply people sympathetic to sissies are calling for acceptance of them. I'm sick and tired of reading those anti-sissy comments and having some people here justifying them. It doesn't need to take a sissy to be upset over such remarks, any person with a conscience will feel the same way too.

Everyone replying here must necessarily be jumping into conclusions most of the time, to different extents. There's only that much of text for us to base our replies on. Also, you can't be reprimanding someone specifically and then explain that those remarks are meant to be directed at those who bash sissies instead. Regarding the psychological analysis part, you're showing it again. Who wouldn't be sick and tired of reading anti-sissy comments, anti-gay comments, anti-anything else comments unless they agree with them? But my point about your emotional reaction towards statements that should not elicit such a response shows something. To begin with, Jay wasn't bashing sissies, although yes, it takes a small change in perspective to see it differently. But from whence came that deviation of perspective from that of a normal person unperturbed or impartial about this issue? In no way did I mean that if you have a unwarranted emotional reaction to sth then you must have some hidden psychological complex regarding the issue at hand. It isn't strictly so and you shouldn't take it at face value. But it definitely underlies something else, another deep-seated issue that I can only figure out if I know you personally.

Ok I'll spend just a little time elucidating this for your benefit. Let's use your example then? So a normal person would calmly explain that one should not blame sissies for this and that, and not get personal or emotional because although he disagrees with what Jay says, there is no basis for an emotionally-charged response unless for certain reasons: He could be a sissy in denial, or an effeminate guy like Zaihan. This first plausible reason is easy to guess. But he need not be a sissy, just like you need not be female to feel strongly for middle eastern women. But something must underlie that personal attack. It could be his personality, that he's generally more inclined to attack people for statements that they make. But let's assume that he's not someone like that. It could be his past experience, that his brother, close friend or anyone he sympathises with was discriminated because he was a sissy, hence he'd be more predisposed to jump into judging anybody who does not make politically-correct sissy-friendly remarks. Or it could be that he's attracted to sissies, naturally, then that explains it. It could be that it's none of the above reasons, but the chance of that is truly slim.

But you get my drift, don't you? Humans are extremely complex creatures, physically, emotionally and mentally. With the infinite array of personalities and infinite number of issues and experiences, as well as overlaying and underlying mental and emotional complexes, how could we understand others adequately when most of the time we already find it hard to understand ourselves?

[Guest Truth]

If I appear to be speaking to anyone in a derogatory manner, please know that I have no such intention because I do not believe that I'm any more intelligent than you are. Intelligence has many facets, from math to science, to art to music, to language to abstract concepts to physics to understanding how physical things work. Everybody is intelligent in their own way, in an area in which they somehow understand things much faster and more than others. And as for me, I dare say I'm a deep thinker and understand humanity more than others. From the age of 14 I was already studying psychology and reading extremely, hmm, mind-fxxking(for lack of a better word) books. Hence, when explaining things to people I definitely don't imply that I'm more intelligent, because you sure have areas in which you're naturally apt, and more so than I am.