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GachiMuchi

Common Relationship Mistakes Gay Men Make

32 posts in this topic

Very interesting read . . . and in actuality, I totally agree . . .:)

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Thanks gm for this refresher. Needed to reflect once in awhile.

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Agree.. especially no.1 because the other guy might just use him/you for sex, and u r stupid enough to fall for it, end up he dump you/your boyfren, and end up with nothing else

 

thats the most common I see... ;)

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Few weeks back, i hit the brick wall in my rs but i am glad that happen cos i now understand him more ;)

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That Great ... i agree with GM... Need more time to reflect once awhile

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"...Don’t get in a relationship because you need stability and he’s your safety net...Be with someone because you love them, not because they can give you something of luxury."

 

This author is a genius.

 

We may not realise it but this puts to words what many of us are actually thinking when choosing partners.

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"...Don’t get in a relationship because you need stability and he’s your safety net...Be with someone because you love them, not because they can give you something of luxury."

 

This author is a genius.

 

We may not realise it but this puts to words what many of us are actually thinking when choosing partners.

Like this phase.. seriously quite a lot wanted the other party to commit, even if the other party is not the playful, unfaithfuly type and has already said that he wanted to go slow for fear of hurting each other.. but sadly most who are pushy cannot accept this..sigh..

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Read this few days back, now read again~

Feel the different again @.@

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Number 6 perfectly sums up the reason why my last two relationships failed :(

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I think everyone should pin this up on the wall and go through this check list before deciding to go for a new relationship. :-)

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Disagree with most, speaking from a decades long relationship.

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Giving up on a relationship withou. Trying hard enough to.save it.

Giving up on a relationship withou. Trying hard enough to.save it.

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Thanks for sharing. I really like this thread.

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10 common mistakes gay men make in the dating world

 

 

By Brent Heinze

 

 

10. “Big muscles or a handsome face make up for being stupid or rude.”

The most important qualities for a person to possess are integrity, inner strength and intelligence.  Some people feel that muscles can compensate for the inner demons, but at the end of the day, these people remain insecure, sad and lonely. Being an arrogant douche only serves to alienate you from others, except for those shallow enough to be impressed by your physical overcompensation.

 

9. “He cheated on his last four boyfriends but he won’t cheat on me because we’re in love.”

It takes a lot of personal initiative to change any behavior. When a person feels entitled enough to cheat on his partner, that shows a deep-rooted belief that his desires are more important that anyone else’s, probably yours as well. Protect your heart, and your genitals.

 

8. “I’m just not good at connecting with people.”

There are only a few people in the world that are natural social stud-muffins. Most of us still remember our awkward years where we felt like we didn’t fit in to the popular crowd. Rope-in your confidence, and put yourself in a social situation where you have the opportunity to strike up some casual conversations.

 

7. “You can’t find love on a dating site or in a bar.”

Quite the contrary. Actually, staying in your apartment wishing for Prince Charming to find and fondle you is totally pointless. Logging onto social networking/dating sites or venturing out from your house mentally prepares you for meeting and interacting with people. You can improve your communication skills, change your expectations or hang out in different environments to increase your chances. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there.

 

6. “I will never find a good relationship.”

This is one of the most destructive beliefs that can cause depression, isolation, bitchy attitudes and a lack of initiative in getting out to meet people. Maybe a more accurate statement would be, “I am never going to marry Enrique Iglesias.” You may need to re-examine what you are looking for and how you are doing it. There are many awesome people out there. Don’t close yourself off to possibility.

 

5. “Gay men can’t be trusted and are emotional trainwrecks.”

This is not always the case, but many feel that there is a high prevalence of dishonesty, substance abuse and annoying quirks. It is so important to really take the opportunity to get to know someone before you ask him to move in or make him your Power of Attorney. Unfortunately, it may take longer than a few weeks.

 

4. “Being nice and thoughtful isn’t valued in our community.”

The stereotype that states: “nice guys always finish last” isn’t true. However, there are some other things that can keep you from finishing first. Being caring or sympathetic is great, but it can be pushed to the extreme. You may want to hold off on sending two tickets to Palm Springs to the guy you went on a first date with last night.

 

3. “Bars are the only places to meet gay people.”

Many times bars can hold the highest concentration of gays at any given time, but we are everywhere. Get creative. Go to coffee shops, parks, museums, social organizations or book stores (not just the dirty ones). Keep your eyes open for that cute guy that just smiled at you walking down the sidewalk. Don’t look away; smile back!

 

2. “Drugs and alcohol increase my chances of scoring.”

Being obnoxious, falling down and making an ass of yourself will not guarantee you get laid. Actually, most of the time people aren’t impressed by it and your equipment won’t work anyway if you do get the opportunity to get naked with someone. Keep your usage in check. There is a fine line between social lubricant and an oil spill.

 

1. “That person is too hot to talk to.”

There is absolutely no one too hot for you to walk up to and say, “hi.” Be careful not to get confused if someone returns the greeting. It does not mean that he wants to strike up a conversation, is going to sleep with you, or that you should grab his crotch. Picking up on social cues and body language can help you figure out if you should continue trying to engage this person in conversation, or move on to another stud.

 

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Hi folks

 

Can anyone here tell me how to end a relationship with politeness without hurting each other?

 

Thank you

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Hi folks

Can anyone here tell me how to end a relationship with politeness without hurting each other?

Thank you

Be brave.

Be honest.

Be respectful.

Be tactful.

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Regarding about opened relationships, alot of people argued that it is up to the couple to decide and set the parameters and boundaries. There are many claims of "successful" opened relationships on the internet and also by people in our gay circles.

 

 

My own principle is still towards monogamy because from my perspective, many of these "opened relationship" couples have too much time on hand and choose not to focus on growing/evolving their relationships, but instead to spend time looking for hookups (well whether you cruise in sauna or on the internet, it takes alot of time and effort). Most of the time I also noticed that these people are just waiting for something better to come along. 

 

Maybe because I am not a highly sexed person, and can be happy just resting in bed cuddling with my partner (instead of chasing non stop mechanical anal sex or blow jobs). 

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Hi folks

 

Can anyone here tell me how to end a relationship with politeness without hurting each other?

 

Thank you

If u have been truly into a relationship, there's no way u wont be hurt.

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