Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
GachiMuchi

Common Relationship Mistakes Gay Men Make

32 posts in this topic

Very interesting read . . . and in actuality, I totally agree . . .:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Agree.. especially no.1 because the other guy might just use him/you for sex, and u r stupid enough to fall for it, end up he dump you/your boyfren, and end up with nothing else

 

thats the most common I see... ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Few weeks back, i hit the brick wall in my rs but i am glad that happen cos i now understand him more ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That Great ... i agree with GM... Need more time to reflect once awhile

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"...Don’t get in a relationship because you need stability and he’s your safety net...Be with someone because you love them, not because they can give you something of luxury."

 

This author is a genius.

 

We may not realise it but this puts to words what many of us are actually thinking when choosing partners.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"...Don’t get in a relationship because you need stability and he’s your safety net...Be with someone because you love them, not because they can give you something of luxury."

 

This author is a genius.

 

We may not realise it but this puts to words what many of us are actually thinking when choosing partners.

Like this phase.. seriously quite a lot wanted the other party to commit, even if the other party is not the playful, unfaithfuly type and has already said that he wanted to go slow for fear of hurting each other.. but sadly most who are pushy cannot accept this..sigh..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Read this few days back, now read again~

Feel the different again @.@

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Number 6 perfectly sums up the reason why my last two relationships failed :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think everyone should pin this up on the wall and go through this check list before deciding to go for a new relationship. :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Disagree with most, speaking from a decades long relationship.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Giving up on a relationship withou. Trying hard enough to.save it.

Giving up on a relationship withou. Trying hard enough to.save it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for sharing. I really like this thread.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

10 common mistakes gay men make in the dating world

 

 

By Brent Heinze

 

 

10. “Big muscles or a handsome face make up for being stupid or rude.”

The most important qualities for a person to possess are integrity, inner strength and intelligence.  Some people feel that muscles can compensate for the inner demons, but at the end of the day, these people remain insecure, sad and lonely. Being an arrogant douche only serves to alienate you from others, except for those shallow enough to be impressed by your physical overcompensation.

 

9. “He cheated on his last four boyfriends but he won’t cheat on me because we’re in love.”

It takes a lot of personal initiative to change any behavior. When a person feels entitled enough to cheat on his partner, that shows a deep-rooted belief that his desires are more important that anyone else’s, probably yours as well. Protect your heart, and your genitals.

 

8. “I’m just not good at connecting with people.”

There are only a few people in the world that are natural social stud-muffins. Most of us still remember our awkward years where we felt like we didn’t fit in to the popular crowd. Rope-in your confidence, and put yourself in a social situation where you have the opportunity to strike up some casual conversations.

 

7. “You can’t find love on a dating site or in a bar.”

Quite the contrary. Actually, staying in your apartment wishing for Prince Charming to find and fondle you is totally pointless. Logging onto social networking/dating sites or venturing out from your house mentally prepares you for meeting and interacting with people. You can improve your communication skills, change your expectations or hang out in different environments to increase your chances. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there.

 

6. “I will never find a good relationship.”

This is one of the most destructive beliefs that can cause depression, isolation, bitchy attitudes and a lack of initiative in getting out to meet people. Maybe a more accurate statement would be, “I am never going to marry Enrique Iglesias.” You may need to re-examine what you are looking for and how you are doing it. There are many awesome people out there. Don’t close yourself off to possibility.

 

5. “Gay men can’t be trusted and are emotional trainwrecks.”

This is not always the case, but many feel that there is a high prevalence of dishonesty, substance abuse and annoying quirks. It is so important to really take the opportunity to get to know someone before you ask him to move in or make him your Power of Attorney. Unfortunately, it may take longer than a few weeks.

 

4. “Being nice and thoughtful isn’t valued in our community.”

The stereotype that states: “nice guys always finish last” isn’t true. However, there are some other things that can keep you from finishing first. Being caring or sympathetic is great, but it can be pushed to the extreme. You may want to hold off on sending two tickets to Palm Springs to the guy you went on a first date with last night.

 

3. “Bars are the only places to meet gay people.”

Many times bars can hold the highest concentration of gays at any given time, but we are everywhere. Get creative. Go to coffee shops, parks, museums, social organizations or book stores (not just the dirty ones). Keep your eyes open for that cute guy that just smiled at you walking down the sidewalk. Don’t look away; smile back!

 

2. “Drugs and alcohol increase my chances of scoring.”

Being obnoxious, falling down and making an ass of yourself will not guarantee you get laid. Actually, most of the time people aren’t impressed by it and your equipment won’t work anyway if you do get the opportunity to get naked with someone. Keep your usage in check. There is a fine line between social lubricant and an oil spill.

 

1. “That person is too hot to talk to.”

There is absolutely no one too hot for you to walk up to and say, “hi.” Be careful not to get confused if someone returns the greeting. It does not mean that he wants to strike up a conversation, is going to sleep with you, or that you should grab his crotch. Picking up on social cues and body language can help you figure out if you should continue trying to engage this person in conversation, or move on to another stud.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi folks

 

Can anyone here tell me how to end a relationship with politeness without hurting each other?

 

Thank you

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi folks

Can anyone here tell me how to end a relationship with politeness without hurting each other?

Thank you

Be brave.

Be honest.

Be respectful.

Be tactful.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Regarding about opened relationships, alot of people argued that it is up to the couple to decide and set the parameters and boundaries. There are many claims of "successful" opened relationships on the internet and also by people in our gay circles.

 

 

My own principle is still towards monogamy because from my perspective, many of these "opened relationship" couples have too much time on hand and choose not to focus on growing/evolving their relationships, but instead to spend time looking for hookups (well whether you cruise in sauna or on the internet, it takes alot of time and effort). Most of the time I also noticed that these people are just waiting for something better to come along. 

 

Maybe because I am not a highly sexed person, and can be happy just resting in bed cuddling with my partner (instead of chasing non stop mechanical anal sex or blow jobs). 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi folks

 

Can anyone here tell me how to end a relationship with politeness without hurting each other?

 

Thank you

If u have been truly into a relationship, there's no way u wont be hurt.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0

  • Similar Content

    • Guest halp
      By Guest halp
      Hi, I cannot help but keep thinking of my boyfriend even though we meet very often! Yes, you can call me clingy, and I know it is not healthy. I am trying my best to curb this issue. Help!!
    • By fab
      Don't tell me gays do not know it better than them!
       
       
      A cross-discipline study has challenged the belief that human sexuality and gender identity are determined by biology and remain fixed, saying that there is no scientific proof of this. The study cautioned against drastic medical treatment for transgender children.

      The notion that sexual orientation is predetermined by biology is an important part of the current LGBT discourse. If a person has no choice over whether to be gay or not, society cannot demand that he or she be straight, so the argument goes.

      But regardless of its political worth, the “born this way” paradigm is not backed up by sufficient scientific data, according to a new paper published in the autumn issue of the New Atlantis, a journal focusing on political, societal and ethical ramifications of technological advances.

      The study does not claim that being gay is a choice, merely that stating the opposite may be wrong.

      The 144-page paper was written by Dr. Lawrence S. Mayer, an epidemiologist and biostatistician also trained in psychiatry, who is currently a scholar in residence at the Department of Psychiatry at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, and Dr. Paul R. McHugh, a renowned psychiatrist, researcher, and educator and former chief of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins Hospital. The paper’s three parts focus on sexual orientation, links between sexuality and mental health, and gender identity.

      Drawing on studies in fields varying from neurobiology to social sciences, the authors wrote that “The understanding of sexual orientation as an innate, biologically fixed property of human beings – the idea that people are ‘born that way’ – is not supported by scientific evidence.”

      The term ‘sexual orientation’ itself is ambiguous and is used to describe attraction, behavior or identity by different researchers. Sometimes it refers to things such as belonging to a certain community or having certain fantasies.

      “It is important, then, that researchers are clear about which of these domains are being studied, and that we keep in mind the researchers’ specified definitions when we interpret their findings,” the paper said.

      There are biological factors associated with sexual behavior, the paper acknowledges, but there are no compelling “causal biological explanations for human sexual orientation.” Differences in the brain structures of gay and straight individuals identified by researchers are not necessarily innate and may be the result of environmental or psychological factors.

      “The strongest statement that science offers to explain sexual orientation is that some biological factors appear, to an unknown extent, to predispose some individuals to a non-heterosexual orientation,” the paper said.

      LGBT individuals are statistically at greater risk of having mental health problems than the general population, the authors say. As a more dramatic example, “the rate of lifetime suicide attempts across all ages of transgender individuals is estimated at 41 percent, compared to under 5 percent in the overall US population.”

      The usually accepted explanation for this is social stress from discrimination and stigma, but the study said that those factors may not solely explain the disparity and that more scientific research on the issue is necessary.

      The paper added that the notion that gender identity is fixed and determined by biological factors is also not backed up by data.

      “In reviewing the scientific literature, we find that almost nothing is well understood when we seek biological explanations for what causes some individuals to state that their gender does not match their biological sex,” the authors said.

      They strongly advocate caution in resorting to drastic medical treatment such as sex-reassignment surgery for people identified or identifying as transgender. This is especially true in children, whose sexuality is mutable and for whom such treatments may do more harm than good, they warn.

      “There is little scientific evidence for the therapeutic value of interventions that delay puberty or modify the secondary sex characteristics of adolescents, although some children may have improved psychological well-being if they are encouraged and supported in their cross-gender identification,” the paper said. “There is no evidence that all children who express gender-atypical thoughts or behavior should be encouraged to become transgender.”

      “Sexual orientation and gender identity resist explanation by simple theories. There is a large gap between the certainty with which beliefs are held about these matters and what a sober assessment of the science reveals. In the face of this complexity and uncertainty, we need to be humble about what we know and do not know,” it said.

      The authors noted that their paper touches upon controversial issues and insist that first and foremost it is about science and the need for additional evidence in the field. Mayer said many people who contributed to the report asked not to be identified so as to distance themselves from the potential backlash.

      “Some feared an angry response from the more militant elements of the LGBT community; others feared an angry response from the more strident elements of religiously conservative communities,” he said. “Most bothersome, however, is that some feared reprisals from their own universities for engaging such controversial topics, regardless of the report’s content—a sad statement about academic freedom.”

      The paper was specifically written for the general public to draw attention to mental health problems of the LGBT community, the authors said. McHugh is an opponent of sex reassignment surgery for transgender people, arguing that it often fails to improve their well-being and instead does the opposite in the long run.




      https://www.rt.com/news/356848-study...ntation-fixed/
    • By 72%dark
      When you’re in the process of looking for a boyfriend, partner, or even just someone to hook up with, are you usually the one who has to woo or pursue the person you're interested in, or are you usually the one who is wooed by someone who is interested in you? 
       
      Do you find that the connections you make are usually initiated by you or by the other person? 
       
      Do you find that when you're in the process of courting or dating someone, you seem to expend more effort or take more initiative in moving the relationship forward, or the other person does? 
       
      When someone catches your eye or you find yourself falling for someone, is it usually one-sided (i.e. you are more interested in the other person than the other person is interested in you)? 
       
      When you're pursuing the object of your affection or lust, have you ever felt like the other person was your first choice but you were only their second/third/backup choice?
       
      When you're in a relationship, have you ever felt that one party loved the other more or treasured the relationship more? (Or when you're hooking up with someone, have you ever felt like one party felt more attracted to the other?)
       
      Alternatively, have you ever experienced a connection where both parties are equally attracted to each other and equally interested in making/deepening the connection (whether just physical or more)? Is this even possible?
       
       
      Please share your experiences and views on whether love/affection/lust/attraction is ever equally reciprocated between two people, or if it's usually the case that one person is more invested than the other.