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  1. Hey guys, do share any info on new cruising spots here. So far from what I know, we have these in KL: Parks 1. Taman Tasik Permaisuri (Bandar tun Razak) 2. Taman Kelana Jaya 3. Bukit Jalil Park (upcoming?) Swimming Pools 1. Kompleks Renang Bandar Tun Razak 2. Kelana Jaya Municipal Pool 3. Chin Woo Stadium Swimming Pool Malls 1. KL Sentral/Nu Sentral 2. Cheras Sentral Mall (upcoming?) 3. AEON Big Kepong? Gloryholes 1. Putrajaya Presint 6 Public Toilet 2. Gyms 1. CF Sunway? Saunas 1. Otot otot 2. Mandi manda 3. Kakiku Feel free to add to the list!
  2. Time Should I waste my time on you who i can't control Should i waste my time on things that is of my beyond Can't we see the time that went tick tock Is this the right time or is it not? They say time flows like a stream To a land where there are many dreams But you told me you did like to be a place full of surprises and supremes There are no other choices but this is the way its seems. I do not know what to say The world is so full of grey You say I am imperfect and this I know Yet I still think you are gold I may be kind and silly but it’s not fine. Your avoidant ways clearly shows through time Time will reveal who you are And you can really be a pain in the arse Letting you go should keep you afar As there is nothing left to be my fuss Finally I can get on my path. E.T. 13.01.2019
  3. Hi, 1. This thread is for users who are encountering problems with accessing Blowing Wind forum normally. You can ask questions on forum features or report technical problems here. Before posting, you may find it useful and often faster to go through the FAQ and help section. If you don't find your answer then, you are welcome to start a new reply here, I will get back to you as soon as I can. Help - http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?app=core&module=helpFAQ - http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php?showtopic=67 2. This thread is strictly for technical issues pertaining to the forum. You should post your complaints and non-technical queries to the respective moderators. 3. I will be housekeeping this thread regularly to remove any non-related posts. Best regards, Bern
  4. Those who need encouragement... motivation...need advice...etc... Open to anything...chat...mingle...share..meet...repeat... If keen, pm. 🥂
  5. Organized religions and other homophobic justify their condemnation of gays with the false idea that we cannot reproduce. One reads about the difficulties and costs for same-sex couples trying to find surrogates and / or adopt born children. But the reality is that we can procreate perfectly well. We gays can ejaculate, and lesbians can be fertilized and conceive. I can foresee a lot of disagreement, but I believe that every gay is able to impregnate a woman. No, I don't like pussies, but this dislike is such a small obstacle in the magnitude of this issue. Every day more women, many very beautiful, desire and choose to become single parent mothers. Often this is the result of failed relationships, tiredness of putting up with inconsiderate men whose only attraction is having a cock. These women want to have children, and they want to seek this opportunity during the window of their fertility. Why shouldn't such a woman be happy to find a handsome gay man who will give them the baby they want and then continue being a good father to the child? Why not marry a gay man who will also be a good provider to his family? A motivated woman can become so loving that she can make even a stone ejaculate 😄. And what is wrong with the gay man living with his wife, the mother of his child, who can be caring and a good company even if there is no sex? I speak from personal experience. I married at 35 y.o. and had my child, my son at 37. We had a normal family for 13 years until we separated for incompatibilities that were not sexual. She remarried, and I remained single until I started a relationship with my bf that lasted 21 years. Now 40 years after I married I am happy that I did, that I started the life of a great son and by extension the life of my three grandchildren. Hopefully I will never need a dollar from them, I am totally pleased enjoying the family satisfaction of any fortunate straight. .
  6. It's comforting to know that even the royalities face the same problems as us. What a reassurance ! artile from 2/Jan's Nytimes (New york times) http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/f...lines-frontpage Vadodara, India — AS a maharajah's son, Manvendra Singh Gohil grew up in a bubble of prestige and privilege, surrounded by hangers-on who treated him so reverentially that he was 15 before he crossed a street by himself. So the public snubs and rejection of the last nine months have been a new experience. Yet the mild-mannered Gohil couldn't be more content. At last, he says, he is living an honest life — albeit one that has touched off a scandal in the royal house of Rajpipla, one of India's former princely states. Last March, he revealed a lifelong secret to a local newspaper, which promptly splashed it on the front page. "The headline was: 'The Prince of Rajpipla Declares That He's a Homosexual,' " Gohil said with a rueful chuckle. "The newspaper sold like hotcakes." In the uproar that followed, disgusted residents in Gohil's hometown flung his photograph onto a bonfire. His parents publicly disowned their only son, printing notices in the press that he was cut off as heir because of his involvement in "activities unacceptable to society." Gohil's mother has threatened contempt proceedings against anyone who refers to him as her son. For scandal-mongers, the tale of India's gay prince is an irresistibly juicy affair full of details worthy of a tabloid tell-all: his teenage affair with a servant boy, a sexless marriage to a minor princess, a nervous breakdown. For Gohil, his very public unmasking has brought him a bully pulpit from which to speak out against a law that makes him not just a pariah of noble birth but also a common criminal. Here in the world's largest democracy, home to 1.1 billion people, sex between two people of the same gender remains a punishable offense. Decades after India threw off the yoke of British rule, the country still clings to a Victorian-era statute established by its colonial masters nearly 150 years ago, which demands up to life in prison for anyone committing "carnal intercourse against the order of nature." In practice, few prosecutions are brought to court. But reports abound of police using the law to harass and blackmail gay men and lesbians. Human rights advocates, lawyers groups and the government's AIDS coordinator are lobbying for repeal or revision of the law. In September, dozens of Indian luminaries, including Nobel Prize-winning economist Amartya Sen and author Vikram Seth, added their voices to the campaign. Activists are guardedly hopeful about the chances of a legal challenge now pending before the Delhi High Court. A hearing is scheduled for this month. But even should they succeed, changing attitudes will prove a far harder task. Despite India's high-tech wizardry and its rising affluence, this remains a highly conservative and conformist society where most young people undergo arranged marriages, the pressure to produce children is enormous and no gay role models or TV shows like "Will & Grace" exist to offer a hint of an alternative. Those who feel different learn to keep it to themselves — and to feel guilt-stricken about it. "It's not uncommon among the young people we work with to ask, 'Is there a medicine that can make me stop feeling this way?' " said Anjali Gopalan of the Naz Foundation, an AIDS organization that has taken a leading role in the fight to decriminalize homosexuality. "The law compounds all of this. It creates an environment for people to feel like this." The criminalization of homosexuality makes it difficult to set up social venues where gays can meet. Even in the nation's capital, New Delhi, a thriving metropolis of 15 million people, there are only two bars that host furtive, word-of-mouth gay nights just once a week, usually under the protective guise of a "private party" for some fictitious person. Those nights are packed. * GOHIL, 41, would seem an unlikely spokesman for bucking the system, one from which he has benefited handsomely. Although India's royal families were stripped of formal political power after the nation's independence in 1947, many retain enormous wealth and influence in their former fiefdoms, as smiling ribbon-cutters and patrons of the arts, education and charitable work. Gohil's parents, the maharajah and maharani of Rajpipla, a predominantly agricultural town of about 70,000 people in the western state of Gujarat, are the community's biggest landowners and have several palaces to their name, including a majestic, salmon-pink creation, complete with columns and balconies, that was Gohil's home when he was a toddler. (It's now a hotel owned by the family.) He lived a cocooned existence there and at the family residence in Mumbai, spending his childhood absorbing the finer points of royal protocol and etiquette, attending the finest schools and being waited on hand and foot. "It was so luxurious that even a glass of water I didn't have to go and get for myself," he said. By age 12, Gohil had already been invited to be guest of honor at a local school event. Around the same time, he began sensing that something besides his aristocratic background set him apart from his peers. "Somewhere inside me I felt I was different than others," he said in an interview at his office here in Vadodara, about 1 1/2 hours from Rajpipla. "When I came to the age where you develop sexual attraction to the opposite sex, I had the feeling that I'm not attracted to the opposite sex but the same sex." In India, talk of such intimate matters is taboo. At school, sex education for Gohil consisted of an embarrassed teacher telling her students about the sexual development of animals as a stand-in for human sexuality. Gohil's first clue to his own identity came from a classmate when he was 14. "A boy from my class, out of observation or what, one day came and asked me, 'Are you a homo?' I had not heard this word before. I said, 'What? I don't know,' " Gohil recalled. "I went home and looked it up in the dictionary, and it wasn't there." He didn't have the words to describe his impulses, but as a young teen he found a way to act on them at home with a servant boy his own age, an orphan whom Gohil's grandmother had taken under her wing. The two boys maintained a secret relationship until they were about 18, Gohil said. * AFTER his graduation from university, the pressure on Gohil to marry mounted as his parents expected their only son to carry on the Rajpipla line and assume his duties as custodian of the family's royal heritage, which stretches back 600 years. A suitable wife could manage the household, making sure that the heirlooms, the china and the sumptuous royal costumes were kept up to snuff. Gohil's father, the maharajah, and his mother, from a royal family in Rajasthan, scouted out potential mates, settling on a princess from the state of Madhya Pradesh. Gohil, then 25, agreed to the match, which quickly turned out to be a disaster. He felt no physical attraction for his wife and could not consummate their marriage. Her efforts to seduce him ended in tears. She even dragged Gohil to a doctor, but after 15 humiliating months of their being together yet not together, divorce became the only way out. As she left, his ex-wife gave Gohil one piece of advice: Never do this to another woman. But it took years for Gohil to summon the nerve to contact a well-known gay activist in Mumbai, formerly Bombay. Slowly, the young royal began tiptoeing out of the closet, deepening his involvement in the gay community and becoming an HIV counselor to other homosexual men. "My parents thought I was in yoga school, but I would be out distributing condoms," he said. Nonetheless, the increasing strain of pretending took its toll. His parents were on the hunt for a second wife, and residents in Rajpipla constantly asked Gohil whether he came bearing "good news" whenever he visited from Mumbai, unaware of the activities and friendships he was pursuing. In 2002, Gohil suffered a nervous breakdown, spending 15 days in the hospital. At the end of it, his sympathetic psychiatrist arranged for his parents, his sister and her husband to come for a family meeting during which, at Gohil's request, the doctor informed the family of his sexual orientation. "It was very, very emotional, very disturbing," he said. "They were all crying. They were still not willing to believe that this thing was true." Since then, Gohil has thrown himself into HIV/AIDS work through the Lakshya Trust, an organization he founded in 2000. It was partly to raise the profile of the group that Gohil decided to come out publicly. His straight friends were shocked to find out he was gay. His gay friends were shocked to find out he'd been married. For his parents, it was the last straw. He is no longer on speaking terms with his mother. His father, despite disinheriting him, has softened slightly, declaring in a newspaper interview that he had felt pressured by friends and relatives into taking such a drastic step and describing Gohil as "a gifted individual" and "a good son." The two men still speak occasionally, but their conversations are awkward. Gohil believes that his parents cannot legally prevent ancestral possessions from passing into his hands. Geeta Luthra, a leading civil lawyer in New Delhi, agrees. "If it's ancestral property, then in India … nobody can disinherit you," she said. "Custom is a part of the law in India, and the custom among princely families is the principle of primogeniture. So you can't deprive him" of his inheritance. Despite the controversy surrounding his coming-out, Gohil has continued to receive invitations to attend functions in his royal capacity. During the recent interview, Gohil happily showed off a photo of himself in traditional regalia: an elegant ivory suit on his slender frame, a large red turban complete with ostrich feather on his head, a double strand of pearls around his neck and a broad smile on his face, though whether it was out of the general Indian love of pageantry or a personal sense of fabulousness is hard to tell. * AN introvert by nature, Gohil enjoys nothing more than quiet time on his farm on the outskirts of Rajpipla, where he cultivates a passion for organic farming — his primary source of income — and practices the harmonium. He says he has "no regrets at all" over his decisions or the very public consequences that followed. Rather, he has finally been able to put on a little weight, offers for dates have started coming in and the Lakshya Trust just won an award from the United Nations. Representatives of the media keep calling, and a cheerful, newly liberated Gohil appears to enjoy telling his story. To those in Rajpipla who might still harbor reservations about their patron-in-waiting, he waves an indifferent hand. "They cannot get a prince on hire. I am the prince, and whether I am gay or not gay is hardly the issue," Gohil said. "I'm the only son — there are no cousins or brothers they can go to. They have to come back to me." * -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- henry.chu@latimes.com
  7. If you have a big cock, you are in for a good time at nude night in our saunas. Yes, size does matter a lot when come to sauna's nude night. Ask anyone who had been to nude night, he will swear that everyone will be going for the guy with the big tool hanging there. It does not matter whether he is a bottom or top but what matters is big! Rightly you will expect a big tool will be top, but many times you will be disappointed as the numbers of bottoms in the gay community far out-numbered the tops. Good tops are hard to find, least one with a size which immensely increases your pleasure both physical and aesthetically. One Seven had been a nudist heaven on Friday for a long time. The turnout is better and the choice is more. Having it on every Friday is a better choice than Towel Club once a month FMP, for the wait is far too long and most of the time the date is not right as the next day is a working day. Perhaps this is really the season to be jolly, the turnout on last Friday (22 Dec) was good. Perhaps many were on long leave and the season of joys is on the air. There were visibly more tourists too. What makes nude night more popular than the other is that there is more actions and the hit up rate is higher than those towel nights. When a guy decides to go for a nude night sub-consciously he is ready for action otherwise he would not be standing naked there. Those who are not sure and pretentious will not be there in the first place. I like OS nude night especially there double nude on every 17th of the month. It is very relaxing and free when the whole spa is nude. It reminds me of the days of Rairua, lying on the deck chair under the moonlight hugging someone with an erected dick. It is just pure erotic and sensual with the another hot body on top of you and the soft music will guide you in..(a smooth entry...) In contrast OS is wild and fetish. I have seen guys walking around in all sort of cock rings, PA and leather gears. OS was meant to be fetish when they renovated the place. You still see some of the fetish installment there like window in the doors for people to peep in, SM bench, chains and jail setup. I heard that fistees were playing before in the old OS because a sling room was availble. Now there are no more sling around after both of them were damaged by heavy use. It used to be a gangbang when ever one hanged himself on the sling at the jail area. One just need to hang himself on the sling, others will take the cue and bang on him. Last Friday was an eye opener, a guy tied himself up on the sm cross bench and was blindfolded awaiting for his master to serve him. Not before long a muscular guy came and the wait was over. Obviously the guy was an experienced dom in sm. He played his tits and put the cloth pegs on his tits making him moaned with pain and pleasure. Having aroused the slave the master when on to played with his cock, hitting the balls sending the slave to another round of ecstasy. Seeing the slave is ready, the master went over to examine the butt, whipping both moons with his palm to prepare for the next play. He pinched open the ass, peeped into the hungry juicy hole. He climbed over the bench, knelt over the hole and with one sharp swift push, banged his rock hard tool into the hole. Others were holding their breath and many already had a hard on at the side. The slave screamed and his voice only added pleasure and heat to the master and those watching at the side. It was one of those real life action that I had decided to document here for your reading pleasure. OS - 22 Dec 2006 Friday.
  8. i like to start a new topic abt how bottoms make preparation to do anal i.e CLEAN HOLE lah .. i only know my way n i wonder if there are any better ways to do it .. my way using me fingers n hose pipe water ready to clean the waste . im quite kiasu n want to make it really clean so i dig deep inside .. ths sometimes cos a bit of temporary pain , thus if not in a rush i will do it halfnhour b4 the top arrives .. by then my muscles are relax n the hole is stretch-ready for anal .. any other ways or styles ? tops can put input also please B)
  9. Dear All, We are part of the local Buyer's Club in Singapore. Selling generic versions of HIV medicines for patients living with HIV. These are cheaper than those branded ones sold at local hospital pharmacies. All that is required is a valid prescription for the medicines that the patients' need. Apart from the usual 3 in 1 pill taken once daily of Tenofovir Disoproxil Fumarate 300mg, Emtricitabine 200mg and Efavirenz 600mg, there are other options such as Rilpivirine 25mg, Raltegravir 400mg twice daily and Dolutegravir 50mg. Also, generic Descovy is now available (Tenofovir Alafenamide 25mg, Emtricitabine 200mg). Patients can also look forward to the new 3 in 1 pill that combines Descovy (TAF 25mg, FTC 200mg) with Dolutegravir 50mg. Do discuss this information with your doctor. We (at Buyers Club) provide patients with affordable options that are available and accessible. We hope that by doing this, we can contribute significantly to our Community efforts to bring down HIV infection rates to zero. Do help us spread the word around, especially to those who need it the most. Thank you. Hotspunk WhatsApp +65 97531592
  10. Hi friends, I am running for a college election and was told that there will be an interview. And the interview is meant to be a killer one. I am aware that some interviews are structured to test how one will react in certain scenarios or under pressure. Being the sucker that I am, I was hoping to seek ya'll out for some sample qns, so that I can prepare. Once again, sankiew
  11. Would you put your phone on urinal during peeing? (Provided have space for you to do so)
  12. Hi all, Just curious, I wunder if every session has to have anal sex? Is there any who does not enjoy anal sex but enjoy companionships, huggings, non-anal sex? Care to share or comment. cheers
  13. Hello everyone! I'm a skincare junkie and I hope to learn about your skincare routines, favourite products, tips on maintaining your face & combating acne For me in this weather I have oily combination skin, oily on the t-zone and the other parts of my face & a little dry on the inner cheeks of my face. Some of my favourite products Sunscreen: Dr Jart, UV sun fluid, which I bought at Sephora. Took me long to find the perfect sunscreen for me because most sunscreen are generally thick, heavy on the face & leaves a chalky white finish on the face however the consistency and texture of this sunblock is light and thin almost water gel like absorbs into the skin nicely & leaves no white finish. I've been using it for almost a year now and have repurchased a new bottle would continue to use this. Moisturisers: Like the sunblock it took me quite a while to finally find something I like, but for now I'm using the Bioderma Sensibio Light soothing cream as my moisturiser. It's not thick & it absorbs well. I'm currently trying to find and explore other moisturisers so if you have any suggestions please share too
  14. No not really. I do not believe I am. But I do have a question on sexuality in general. I felt why not ask the most liberal folks about it! I am a male of 25 years of age and I like to keep good shape of my body. Although I am sexually attracted to females, I find myself checking out guys with nice bodies. I think its mainly because I know how much work goes into creating a physically built body, and can appreciate it. I view it like admiring a custom car nice garden lawn. It just creates a very awkward feeling whenever a male sees me staring at them. My wife is also physically fit and I absolutely love running my fingers across her abdominal muscles. I don't know I guess I am just looking for some understanding people hear me out without getting all wierded out on me. I mean a straight guy tells his friends he admires both female and male bodies? Thats a social knife in the heart right there. who knows i could be a latent gay, time will tell.
  15. Any help on the hair loss? I dun like the hair loss centres which charge sky high.
  16. Hi just wanna rant. So i like my best straight friend. He knows it too and despite of that, we are still friends. I got a boyfriend now, who is really great, and he got a girlfriend too. But at times, i still fraternize about him and we still talked and he still wished me for the best for my partner and i but i feel a little torn. So hard. I think i will just live on with it and have him as close to me as possible (well, after all, he did tell me he will never live me in that way as he is straight) but does that means being unfair to my boyfriend? Arh! Conflicted. To add on, i don't really find my man physically attractive, he is cute, a great and fabulous man who have been by my side through my high and low, and i really am so grateful to have him in my life, but sex wise..... I tend to look for others behind his back >< i have been trying to be more exclusive, but it's hard. We have an age gap too, but arh i don't know! Thanks for hearing me rant.
  17. The incident surrounding Seng Han Thong and Cherian George's affirmative blog on "There is Enough Real Racism in Singapore" shows that there are racial biasedness for and against certain races. I believe the same holds for the gay community. Some shirk the issue off by saying it's personal preferences, but often these prejudices of making friends or finding a partner stem from social and peer pressure. Why does race matter when you are having sex or dating someone: Malay, Chinese, Indian or White? Let's go make some gay friends of a different race this holiday season!
  18. Lately, got to know a pleasant guy in Penang. He is very sure that I am the one for him and wanting to get commit into a relationship. So am I. But am confused as to how to manage a long distance relationship.. Been sharing with my friends and most advised to look here.. Any guys have advices to maintaining it ?
  19. I am sure there are many people out there who is currently having issues and of it could be the one as the title mentioned. I get extremely horny when there is work overload or too much to handle (too much stress thus finding something fun?). But the fun is only temporary after which is leaves you void and disappointed. I feel I am jerking off too much and I am trying to stop but it's really tough (feels like a full blown addiction). After i ejaculate, i'd feel back ache and teeth would suddenly become brittle like AND my hair started to drop and it's SUPER frizzy, I am going bald (excessive hair drop and severe receding seems to get worse after JO) thus I have decided to shave hair on Monday.. Anyone has similar problems? we could start a support group to fight this..feels like an addiction. I want to stop, it's ruining my psyche.
  20. Always having the jitters before anal doubting myself if I douched fully and cleanly. Anyone has any tips on douching? Lets share so bottoms can improve and have more confidence, and tops to have more compassion and appreciation for bottoms 🥰 Personally, I usually do it 1-2hrs before meeting. I’ll use a hose and flush repeatedly till water runs clear and odourless. I also finger myself and smell to check. End off with some gentle soap around the hole and patted dry. Amount of water wise I’m not very sure as it is always by feeling. I know that there are articles that mention that you cannot go too far else the water will exceed the ascending colon and go to other parts which could make you unviable for anal sex for the day. A good rule of thumb for myself would be a steady gentle flow (if you direct it on your hand it shouldn’t feel impactful or pain) for 5-7 seconds, and hold it in, then flush it out. You’ll get the feeling as if your abdomen is swelling but not too much. I read that eating less and liquid diet, or high fibrous diet prior to anal sex (1-2days) could help to attain a clean douche/colon. This would mean that sex is planned and there is sufficient time to prepare. I have not tried so as things for myself are very much impromptu. Not sure the effectiveness of it. With my practices, I would say most of the time it is clean (condom comes out clean, no smell, no shit water), but there were occasions, it wasn’t. And it was really embarrassing… some tops won’t make a fuss out of it and this is actually very thoughtful and appreciated by fellow bottoms like myself. Some offer to clean up with the towels or wet tissue which is also a nice gesture but I would prefer just excusing myself to clean up my mess. Any tips for speedy douching and if there is time to prepare for it? Cheers and stay safe everyone! Meet and have fun responsibly!
  21. Aging is inevitable, so why not do it joyfully? Here’s how Apr 27, 2021 / Ingrid Fetell Lee Angus Greig This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from people in the TED community; browse through all the posts here. It was recently my birthday. It wasn’t a “big” birthday — one of those round-numbered ones that feels like a milestone — but nevertheless it got me thinking about aging. When I was a kid, growing older felt like an achievement. Each year that passed marked one step closer to adulthood, which for me meant independence and freedom. I remember going to the city with my dad to see plays or go to the Met and seeing a group of women having lunch in a café. It seemed glamorous and exciting to be an adult. I couldn’t wait. Likewise, I never quite understood the popular antipathy toward old age. At Spencer’s, a novelty store at the Galleria Mall in White Plains where my friends and I would find gag gifts, I was always perplexed by the section of “Over the Hill” merchandise. I mean, my grandparents didn’t listen to my music or play Nintendo with me, but they were cool in their own way — not crusty and out of touch like the caricatures suggested. The geezer jokes and “lying about your age” punchlines that adorned the mugs and t-shirts there seemed to come from another world, one that didn’t make sense to me. In my 20s and 30s, friends would casually toss around the phrase “We’re so old!” I rolled my eyes. We were so young, I felt, and why should we waste that youth focused on what was already behind us? After all, right at that moment we were the youngest we would ever be. My 20s were miles better than my teens — more expansive, less cloistered — and my 30s better than my 20s. I became more confident in my 30s, I got into therapy and dealt with years of childhood trauma, I learned to communicate my needs and be more mindful of the needs of others. I wouldn’t trade the growth of these past decades for fewer lines on my face or grey hairs on my head. Now that I’m in my 40s, though, aging isn’t some future concept. Just being alive means growing older, so yes, we’ve all been aging since we were born. But at a certain point, the notion of what life will be like in a couple of decades starts to feel more real, and then I start to reflect more on what my current choices mean for that future me. I look back and wonder what my work-hard-play-hard 20s mean for me now. Could I have had a healthier body today if I had been kinder to it when I was younger? And could being gentler now give me more joy and freedom in the future? The dominant discourse on aging, especially when it comes to women, revolves around “aging gracefully.” This generally involves looking at least three to five years younger than you actually are, while not appearing to do anything to get that way. It also means “acting your age,” by wearing age-appropriate clothes (mini skirts have an expiration date, apparently), having age-appropriate hair and doing age-appropriate activities — but maybe doing one or two surprisingly youthful things (surfing, maybe, or tap dancing) that don’t seem like you’re trying too hard yet let people know you’re still in the game. As author Heather Havrilesky writes in her biting essay on the topic, “I think about how growing old gracefully really means either disappearing or sticking around but always lying straight to people’s faces about the strength of your feelings and desires.” “Aging gracefully” entails walking a tightrope between a youth-obsessed society, which tells us that our value declines as we age, and a culture that says nothing is as uncool as desperation, the fervent desire for something we can’t have. Marketers stoke our desire for youthfulness as the ticket to remaining relevant, then shame us when our efforts to preserve that youth go awry. So the person who ages without thought to their appearance is written off as “having given up,” and the one whose face remains 35 forever thanks to the surgeon’s knife is considered a joke, and the only way to be deemed acceptable is to have lucky genes or to conceal your battles against time underneath a practiced smile. It all sounds exhausting, doesn’t it? And so I’ve been thinking about how we move beyond this damaging — and frankly misogynistic — frame. What if instead of seeing aging as something to defeat and conquer, we were to embrace what gets better with age, and work to amplify these joys while mitigating the losses of youth? I’m not suggesting we paper over the very real challenges, both physical and mental, that come with aging. But can we view these challenges without judgment or shame and instead look for joyful ways to navigate them? I delved into the research on aging, and here are 8 insights I’ve found that can help us think about joyful ways to feel well as we grow older. 1. Seek out awe In a study of older adults, researchers found that taking an “awe walk,” a walk specifically focused on attending to vast or inspiring things in the environment, increased joy and prosocial emotions (feelings like generosity and kindness) more than simply taking a stroll in nature. Interestingly, they also found that “smile intensity,” a measure of how much the participants smiled, increased over the eight-week duration of the study. These walks were only 15 minutes long, once a week, and are low impact, so this is an easy way to create more joy in daily life as we age. Practiced joyspotters well know the power of attending to joyful stimuli in the environment to boost mood. This study suggests that tuning our attention specifically to things that invoke wonder and awe can have measurable benefits, especially for older adults. 2. Get a culture fix A 1996 study of more than 12,000 people Sweden found that attending cultural events correlated with increased survival, while people who rarely attended cultural events had a higher risk of mortality. Since then, a raft of studies (a good summary of them here) has affirmed that people who participate in social activities such as attending church, going to the movies, playing cards or bingo, or going to restaurants or sporting events is linked with decreased mortality among older adults. One reason may be that these activities increase social connection, deepen relationships, and reinforce feelings of belonging, which are positively associated with well-being. Cultural activities also help keep the mind sharp. While the pandemic has made this one challenging, as things start to open up again, getting a culture fix can be an easy way to age joyfully. 3. Stimulate your senses One of the most talked-about parts of my TED Talk is when I describe my experience spending a night at the wildly colorful Reversible Destiny Lofts, an apartment building designed by the artist Arakawa and the poet Madeline Gins, who believed it could reverse aging. The idea that an apartment could reverse aging sounds farfetched, but it becomes more grounded when we look at the theory behind it. Arakawa and Gins believed that just as our muscles atrophy if we don’t exercise them, our cognitive capacity diminishes if we don’t stimulate our senses. They looked at our beige, dull interiors and imagined that these spaces would make our minds wither. And as it turns out, some early research in animals (see also) suggests there might be something to this. When mice are placed in “enriched environments” with lots of sensorial stimuli and opportunities for physical movement, it mitigates neurological changes associated with Alzheimer’s and dementia. While there is some evidence to suggest that this might apply to humans as well, the mechanisms behind this phenomenon are not yet well understood. That said, we do know that the acuity of our senses declines with age. The lenses of our eyes thicken and tinge more yellow, allowing less light into the eye. Our sense of smell, taste and hearing also become less sharp. So, while you don’t have to recreate Arakawa and Gins’s quirky apartments, enriching your environment with color, art, plants and other sensorially stimulating elements may be a worthwhile investment not just for protecting your mind as you age, but also your joy. 4. Buy yourself flowers As if you needed an excuse for this one, but just in case, here you go. A study of older adults found that memory and mood improved when people were given a gift of flowers, which wasn’t the case when they were given another kind of gift. Why would flowers have this effect? One reason may link to research on the attention restoration effect, which shows that the passive stimulation we find in looking at greenery helps to restore our ability to concentrate. Perhaps improved attention also results in improved memory. Another possibility, which is pure speculation at this point, relates to the evolutionary rationale for our interest in flowers. Because flowers eventually become fruit, it would have made sense for our ancestors to take an interest in them and remember their location. Monitoring the locations of flowers would allow them to save time and energy when it came to finding fruiting plants later, and potentially reach the fruit before other hungry animals. I have to stress that there’s no evidence I’m aware of to support this explanation, but it’s an intriguing possibility. Taking it a step further, research has also shown that gardening can have mental and physical health benefits for older adults. So whether you buy your flowers or grow them, know that you’re taking a joyful step toward greater well-being in later life. 5. Try a time warp In 1981, Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer ran an experiment with a group of men in their 70s that has come to be known as “the counterclockwise study.” For five days, they lived inside a monastery that had been designed to look just like it was 1959. There were vintage radios and black-and-white TVs instead of cassette players and VHS. The books that lined the shelves were ones that were popular at the time. The magazines, TV shows, clothes and music were all throwbacks to that exact period. But these men weren’t just living in a time warp. They also had to participate. They were treated like they were in their 50s, rather than their 70s. They had to carry their own bags. They discussed the news and sports of 22 years earlier in the present tense. And to preserve the illusion, there were no mirrors and no photos, except of their younger selves. At the end of five days, the men stood taller, had greater manual dexterity, and even better vision. Independent judges said they looked younger. A touch football game broke out among the group (some of whom had previously walked with a cane) as they waited for the bus home. Langer was hesitant to publish her findings, concerned that the unusual method and small sample size might be hard for the academic community to accept. But in 2010, a BBC show recreated the experiment with aging celebrities to similar effect. Langer’s subsequent research has led her to conclude that we can prime our minds to feel younger, which in turn can make our bodies follow suit. While it might be difficult to recreate Langer’s study in our own lives, I think there’s something joyful about a mini time warp. Maybe it’s revisiting a vacation spot you once loved, and steeping yourself in memories from an earlier time. Maybe it’s a getaway with friends where you banish all talk of present-day concerns. Maybe it’s finding a book or a stack of old magazines from back then and reading them while listening to throwback tunes. It’s also worth noting that a control group from the counterclockwise study who simply reminisced about their youth, without using the present tense, did not experience the same dramatic results — so these “mini time warps” may be more for fun than for tangible benefit. But even if you don’t turn back the clock, checking back in with your younger self can be a way to rediscover parts of yourself that you may have lost touch with and bring them with you as you age. 6. Maximize mobility Exercise is often touted as a way to stay healthy and vibrant at any age, but one finding that makes it particularly relevant as we get older is that movement has been shown in studies to increase the size of the hippocampus, a part of the brain that plays a vital role in learning and memory. This is important because the hippocampus shrinks as we age, which can lead to memory deficits and increased risk of dementia. In one study of older adults, exercise increased hippocampus size by 2 percent, which is equivalent to reversing one to two years of age-related decline. In addition to its cognitive effects, movement itself can be a source of joy. The ability to swim, hike, dance and play can be conduits to joy well into our older years. When I struggle to get motivated to exercise, I often think about my future self and how investing in my mobility now can help preserve range of motion and minimize repetitive stress injuries later. Simply put: you have one body, and it has to last your whole life. The more you do now to care for it, the more freedom you’ll have to do the things you love late in life. 7. Refeather your nest Once you start looking at negative tropes around aging, you start seeing more and more of them. Take the phrase “empty nest,” which carries strong connotations of loss and deprivation. Though I’m at the stage where my nest suddenly just became quite full, I love the idea of reframing the “empty nest” into something more joyful. One of my readers, Lee-Anne Ragan, offers up as a joyful process in the wake of children going off to start their own independent lives. She points out that the idea of an empty nest suggests that there’s nothing left, while refeathering takes a more ecological lens, imagining a kind of regeneration that happens as the home, and the family, transforms into something new. A refeathered nest is a place of possibility, creativity and delight. 8. Stay up on tech While technology is often blamed for feelings of isolation, some studies show that for older adults, being technologically facile can offer a boost to well-being. One reason is that internet use may serve a predictor of social connection more broadly, and social connection is one of the most important contributors toward mental health and well-being throughout life, but especially in old age. Other studies suggest that when older adults lack the skills to be able to use technology effectively, it leads to a greater sense of disconnection and disempowerment and that offering training to older adults on technology can promote cognitive function, interpersonal connection and a sense of control and independence. I’ve often been tempted, when a radically new app or device comes out, to say “That’s for the kids,” and ignore it. With free time so scarce, exploring new tech feels less appealing than digging into one of the books piled up on my nightstand. And anyway, unplugging is supposed to be good for us, right? But technology shapes the world we live in, and those technologies that seem new and fringy in the moment often end up in the mainstream, influencing the ways we communicate, work and access even basic services. I remember trying to teach my grandmother how to use email. She was someone who never wanted to bother anyone, and I thought that email’s asynchronous communication would be good for her. Instead of calling, she could just send a note and know that she wasn’t interrupting anyone. She tried, but she struggled to learn it. She had stopped caring about technology long before that, and the leap to figure out how to use a computer was too great. Small choices not to engage with a new technology don’t matter much in the moment, but once you get a few steps down the road to disconnection, it can feel intimidating to try to plug back in. Staying engaged with new technologies doesn’t have to be a burden. It might simply mean saying yes when a niece or nephew invites you play Minecraft or opening a TikTok account just to check it out. You don’t have to master every new app or tool, but being comfortable with new developments can help you ensure you don’t end up feeling helpless or blindsided when the tech you rely on every day changes. I think a lot about something psychologist Alison Gopnik said when I interviewed her for the Joy Makeover a couple of years ago. She said that each new generation breaks paradigms and overturns old ways of doing things as a matter of course. This isn’t gratuitous — it’s how we move forward as a society. Each generation of kids will remake the world, and from this we’ll gain all kinds of new discoveries. So as we age, we have a choice: we can either cling to the world as we shaped it and refuse to engage in the new world our kids’ and grandkids’ generations are creating, or we can adapt to their world and remain curious, active participants in it. This to me is at the heart of aging joyfully. Our goal shouldn’t be to cling to youth as we get older, but to keep our joy alive by tending our inner child throughout our days while also nurturing our connection to the changing world. In doing so, we balance wisdom with wonder, confidence with curiosity and depth with delight. This post was first published on Ingrid Fetell Lee’s site, The Aesthetics of Joy. Watch her TED Talk now: ABOUT THE AUTHOR Ingrid Fetell Lee is the founder of the blog The Aesthetics of Joy and was formerly design director at the global innovation firm IDEO.
  22. can anyone explain how to organise, and what happen during orgy? normally, can a chub join? it seems like its very quiet in this kind of event.
  23. Being married... its kinda hard to meet guys but luck is on my side this time round!!! Manage to get a guy to drive up & meet me at the mscp... our cars parked next to each other!!! We got onto the back seat of my car since its slightly bigger... & started kissing & tongue each other. He's Chinese... with a a little bit of body hair. As I suck his nipples, my hands runs down to his shorts... wow!!! I can feel that its big... & clean shaven. Both of us took turns blowing each other cocks... kissing & sucking nipples in between until I cum... That was my first blowjob... 5 inch thick, cut Chinese cock!!! I can still remember how it taste like in my mouth... heaven!!!
  24. hi all, just hope all can share your experience on your first time.. got mine during my ns... got it from my buddy... painful but song... now addicted must have it once a week if not more...
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