Discussion on Married Gay Men (有妇之夫) Whom Hv Gay Sex + An Open Letter to Married Men + Married men's stress & struggles (compiled)

[kee_hsiao]

Married guys are hot! They bring not only experience but the passion and the thrill of being with someone like me.

izzit???? hahahhaa... but come to think abt it, married men have a set of priorities in life (family, wife, children... etc) and this will translate to less time for you... what's your view on this?

[cw30]

Doom to be left unwanted in the end. Hahahaha

[mcsweet]

izzit???? hahahhaa... but come to think abt it, married men have a set of priorities in life (family, wife, children... etc) and this will translate to less time for you... what's your view on this?

Although I always believed in the sanctity of marriage, I believe married men should always have the disposition to explore themselves.

Nevertheless, yes, I believe married men will always have their own set of priorities...and for me it really doesn't matter for as long as I know my role in his life and we have mutually agreed on certain arrangements. I have dated and had sex with some married guys and I can say that they experience a different pleasure too with gay people like me. At the end of the day, it will be a consensual choice of the married man and they person whom they want to have sex with.

I believe in the power of choice and yes....safe sex!

[specs101]

thanks kee. And .. Congratulations too!!!! Just remember to prioritize ur family(upcomng one).. U can get a lot of support and advise from this room....

[kee_hsiao]

Although I always believed in the sanctity of marriage, I believe married men should always have the disposition to explore themselves. Nevertheless, yes, I believe married men will always have their own set of priorities...and for me it really doesn't matter for as long as I know my role in his life and we have mutually agreed on certain arrangements. I have dated and had sex with some married guys and I can say that they experience a different pleasure too with gay people like me. At the end of the day, it will be a consensual choice of the married man and they person whom they want to have sex with. I believe in the power of choice and yes....safe sex!

safe sex! yes... last thing that every married wanted to do is bring home diseases that potentially harms the wife and children...

on the arrangement thingy... somehow, not that easy for many. after all, "single" men being "single" are still opened to choices outside. and believe many eventually end the r/s with the married man and leave for some other who are not married. but of course, there are nice stories too.

thanks kee. And .. Congratulations too!!!! Just remember to prioritize ur family(upcomng one).. U can get a lot of support and advise from this room....

i'm sure support here is ever ready. many "lau chiaos" here to guide this small boy! hahahahahaha

[GymStock]

For those that are married in here... are there times... whereby the arguement between your and your wife is so heated that you have;

a) the strong desire to call it quit regardless of children or not - Divorce

b) thinking of killing her...

c) thinking of killing yourself...

d) go f or get f by someone you like... (like paid sex... be it with guy/gal).

For me, it is usually © to make her regret for the rest of her life, and (D)... thou i dont have paid sex.

Comments?

[specs101]

On gymstock

honestly...none of the above... We let the dayspast by and by the time everythng had subsided.. We start talking. We all go through these, marriage has so many ups and downs, trials, and if both sides are on the fighting.mood, it could turn into one of your choices. Killing yourself is not the answer, your children will be affected... Hey.. U could pm me if u wish to share..

[kee_hsiao]

though i'm not married yet... well, in a few hours i'll be but everytime when the argument gets really bad, i always think of (a) but coz we ain't married yet and there's lesser consideration.

but from tomorrow onwards, i guess once the children comes in, things prolly gonna be different... and calling quits may not be the best solution.

will see how life goes in the future. have lotsa to consult u guys here.

[lausanne]

Seems like a "brokeback mountain" scenario for quite a few of you here....keeping it discreet and mutual...does it really last?

[specs101]

as long as u prioritize your family and ur 'other partner' would understand .. Maybe yours will come along way...

[tinkymale]

getting married soon... and not sure what's in for my future... =(

It's gonna be tough if you already know your preferences. The struggle can be hard to swallow. Do u love her?

[GymStock]

On gymstock

honestly...none of the above... We let the dayspast by and by the time everythng had subsided.. We start talking. We all go through these, marriage has so many ups and downs, trials, and if both sides are on the fighting.mood, it could turn into one of your choices. Killing yourself is not the answer, your children will be affected... Hey.. U could pm me if u wish to share..

Yes, ultimately, when both calm down... we just moved on... I just want to know if I am the only one to have those thoughts... just that at times when those incidents happens... those few options (other than killing her)... does surface from time to time...

[bi2bi69]

For those that are married in here... are there times... whereby the arguement between your and your wife is so heated that you have;

a) the strong desire to call it quit regardless of children or not - Divorce

b) thinking of killing her...

c) thinking of killing yourself...

d) go f or get f by someone you like... (like paid sex... be it with guy/gal).

For me, it is usually © to make her regret for the rest of her life, and (D)... thou i dont have paid sex.

Comments?

Hi Gymstock

In the earlier year of our marriage, I shared the same thoughts as yours. We were very individual and always fight for our own right and never tried to see each other point of view. Mainly, to be honest, it would be C and D.

However, as years go by, I have grown to understand her better and tried my best to see her point of view and where she stand. I will also tried to remember the good times and why I love her in the first place. I make sure that I will hold her hands wherever we go out. Now, 15 years into our marriage, our relationship has improved.

Hence, I would like to advise you to try your best to do your part, regardless, whether she is also doing the same for you. At least, in between both of you, you have children that bond and bridge your relationship. I have none and therefore, I have to do extra hard to ensure that our relationship still nurture. We talks and we plan our future together. We shop and watch movie. We plan our overseas holiday yearly. But most importantly, remember to give each other space. She loves shopping and yoga, and I ensure that I drive her down for her activities while I spent my time alone - namely, sleeping or PCC....

Gymstock - as a man, sometime we are quite narrow in our thinking and our ego gets in the way. We need to cast aside these and try to be a better man.

I wish you all the best and if you need a listening ear or a buddy hug, all BW members are here for you.

Cheers

[GymStock]

Hi bi2bi69, thks.

For my case, I would say it has now improved a lot too. Cos like you said, she begins to see my point of view. I am no MCP that I demanded her to see my point of view. But it was one of her close friend, whose hubby died suddenly because of a cancer... go in hospital on Monday, diagnosed with cancer stage 2. But come Friday, he passed on due to some complications. Her friend through her own journey advise my wife to see my point of view, not to be overly assertive, agressive and etc. She then changed for the better.

I thank God that I no longer have those thoughts or incidents whereby I contemplated those options... right now, is only the dilemma of wanting to be true to myself or to stay in closet and remain status quo.

[bi2bi69]

Good to know that things has turned out well for you gymstock. It is true that some event will make us realize how precious our partner is to us.

My wife also has been very keen to ensure that I lead a healthy diet and to quit smoking when her dad past away due to lung cancer (something I am still struggling with). She has been very patient with me and I thanks God for that.

Yes, let's do our best.

Wish us well.

[specs101]

welcome marlo.. Hope u can share whatever experiences and situations u had and advices as well

[GymStock]

welcome mario to the thread... this the place for bi/gay married guys to chat and share!

lately my wife been doing sometime quite strange... whatsapp chat late into the night, though she claimed it is with her group of old classmates... and today she asked me a strange questions... she asked "how/what will you feel/do, if I tell you that someone like me?"...

I kept quiet and look at her as if she is joking... though for some reasons she did say this or something similar for the past week...

When she pressed me for the answer... I told her this... "if someone like you it shows you still have your attractions... I am flattered and proud to have a wife like that. Someone likes you doesn't mean u have fall for him so I don't have to do anything. If and when you fall for him because he likes you or make his move to woo you... honestly, I will not do anything at all. I will not fight to win you back. I will just let it be. But I will ask for a divorce."

She asked "Why?! why don't you fight to win me back?" She sounded pissed here...

My replied, "If after 11yrs of marriage and with a kid of 7yrs old, and the journey we have had for the past years, means nothing to hold you back from falling for another guy... no matter what I do, is not going to help either."

She just kept quiet.

Although at the back of my mind, I was thinking, if this is really happening, I'll be happy for her and for me. Happy for her, because I know someone else would love her that she deserved to be (I hope the new guy would). Happy for myself because, I can be myself finally, without creating too much of a scene and I don't have to be labeled as the unfaithful one in our marriage.

What are your thoughts guys? Am I being an asshole? Does she really have someone going after her?

[rockexcel]

Hi GymStock,

Reading through your post tells me that you are open-minded and kind in nature.

You are damn right! She is meeting someone outside but could be male or female. However, she is still apprehended of what is right and wrong at this moment.

As her man, you should remind her and tell her to remind her admirer that she is married with a happy family. Do not show that you do not care about her and the family. That's worse! Maybe it is time for you to plan together with her on a family trip after the kid's exams. It helps!

Keep in mind on the old saying, "If you love it, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was."

Even husbands and wives keep dark secrets from each other so that they do not hurt each other. Sometimes, don't say is better than to say. Truthful is always cruel, just like us PLUs.

[Triplecode11]

Harlow! Married straight guy here, just to share a lil abt myself why i am here..

Wifey not so wild in bed, i am always horny. Not easy to get girls randomly to 'service' me.. So there u go..

[specs101]

triplecode:

how wild do you want your wife to be? Sometimes, it is us who makes our wives wild .... Even if we are so horny, we should also tease them (to begin with, foreplay), gently squeeze ur body nxt to her, letting her feel ur hard thing, act as if ur not into having sex yet with her, run ur fingers with gentleness and do it until she will beg u for more... And it will be so hooottttt....u can also do this to ur extra .... U know what i mean

[specs101]

gymstock:

i think it wasnt right to let her feel that u wouldnt fight for her to win her back.. Rwmember that ur no longer ibn a bf-gf relationship , what u have is a family. The old saying set her free blah blah blah can only be applied after u fave fought for your love...although she may not show u that she was hurt when u said that, deep inside, she was. Try to communicate with with her more, she needs u now and let her feel ur the right guy for her,(unless u dont want to or its not true)

[Triplecode11]

Specs101: she's conservativr to start with. I wanna her to rim me, etc or maybe take my load in her mouth or face etc..

But when i talk to her abt it, she was like 'u're not gonna make me do that right?' then she was like yucking and eewwing away..

[kee_hsiao]

hey gymstock... I can understand that feeling -- liberating both u and ur wife. but perhaps think abt the child... it's gonna be devastating...

triplecode, that sucks man!!!!! keep it up to find ur right sex-tifaction!!! haha

[specs101]

Triplecode:

i see, maybe she's definitely not into it but u can get satisfaction aside from rimming. U were rimmed before that is why u long to be rimmed by ur wife. If wife cant.do it.. Then u dont have any other.choice but to go back to the person who rimmed and received ur load in the mouth... That is if u want to have that kind of sex..

[kee_hsiao]

Triplecode:

i see, maybe she's definitely not into it but u can get satisfaction aside from rimming. U were rimmed before that is why u long to be rimmed by ur wife. If wife cant.do it.. Then u dont have any other.choice but to go back to the person who rimmed and received ur load in the mouth... That is if u want to have that kind of sex..

ya man

[specs101]

triplecode: rim.your wife so she can feel the sensation... Maybe she will rim you also.. Do it while ur in the 69 position..

[bi2bi69]

Hi Gymstock

Honest opinion - yes, you're an asshole.

In any kind of relationship, the one who love you would expect you to fight for her or for him to win her/him back. Sorry for the point blank answer. I believe your wife would be very disappointed without much further expression to you. I concur with Rockexcel.

However, if your wife have fall out of love with you and choose to leave you, than I agree to let her go as long as she is happier with that 3rd party. Love is about letting go someone you once loved so that she can be a happier person.

Perhaps some of us do not like confrontation and hence usually would think of an easy way out. Can't deny - I am also one of them.

[GymStock]

Hi GymStock, Reading through your post tells me that you are open-minded and kind in nature. You are damn right! She is meeting someone outside but could be male or female. However, she is still apprehended of what is right and wrong at this moment. As her man, you should remind her and tell her to remind her admirer that she is married with a happy family. Do not show that you do not care about her and the family. That's worse! Maybe it is time for you to plan together with her on a family trip after the kid's exams. It helps! Keep in mind on the old saying, "If you love it, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was." Even husbands and wives keep dark secrets from each other so that they do not hurt each other. Sometimes, don't say is better than to say. Truthful is always cruel, just like us PLUs.

I only suspect that she is. But so far, I don't think so cos most of the time, I know where she is and who she is with (cos I sent her there and see the friends that she is meeting). If there is anything going on.. is prob just over whatsapp. Plus she is helping me out in my biz, so she come into the office with me.

gymstock: i think it wasnt right to let her feel that u wouldnt fight for her to win her back.. Rwmember that ur no longer ibn a bf-gf relationship , what u have is a family. The old saying set her free blah blah blah can only be applied after u fave fought for your love...although she may not show u that she was hurt when u said that, deep inside, she was. Try to communicate with with her more, she needs u now and let her feel ur the right guy for her,(unless u dont want to or its not true)

After going through the past 11yrs with her, i can assure you we both went through mostly valleys period than mountain top life lessons. I have fought very hard back than to keep her and the family intact. Honestly, I am not sure how I pulled through despite her constant 'make me feel unworthy' of being a man of the house. When my biz went through a tough time in 03 (SARS) and 08 (financial crisis), she actually said to me, I think it is better for you to be a taxi driver or be a Mcdonald staff is better. The constant dressing me down day in and out was what cause me to kill myself (like I posted earlier). All these years that I endured, is to me fighting for her and the family. She knows it too cos we chatted about this. So I have fought for her. But to ask me to fight again... I don't think I have the mental strength to do it.

And she is not hurt too, cos we carried on our usual routine, had another round of talks on other matters and she is ok. She is not hiding or keeping it inside. My wife is the rare kind of lady that her yes is yes and no is no.

hey gymstock... I can understand that feeling -- liberating both u and ur wife. but perhaps think abt the child... it's gonna be devastating... triplecode, that sucks man!!!!! keep it up to find ur right sex-tifaction!!! haha

I know about the effect on the child too. If there is any strong bond that hold me (and have been holding me back for the past years) from doing anything drastic is because of our child. I grew up in a single parent environment and I have said to myself that I do not want my child to grew up in the same environment as me. If ever such is going to happen, I will feel that I have let me child down and it is likely that I will feel that I owe my child big time.

Hi Gymstock Honest opinion - yes, you're an asshole. In any kind of relationship, the one who love you would expect you to fight for her or for him to win her/him back. Sorry for the point blank answer. I believe your wife would be very disappointed without much further expression to you. I concur with Rockexcel. However, if your wife have fall out of love with you and choose to leave you, than I agree to let her go as long as she is happier with that 3rd party. Love is about letting go someone you once loved so that she can be a happier person. Perhaps some of us do not like confrontation and hence usually would think of an easy way out. Can't deny - I am also one of them.

It is ok bi2bi69 for the point blank and honest opinion. It is appreciated. But like I shared above... I have fought, not that I have never. It is now just another enemy. I am tired of fighting to keep the family intact and sound. But am I truly happy? Is she truly happy though on the outside we are one loving family. That is why I said, if it really happen, I will let her go if she fall for the other guy and that she will be happy with him. I am a tired soldier in life. I would now rather want to do things or fight for the things that I will be happy with by being true to myself and pursue the interests that I have.

[GymStock]

Specs101: she's conservativr to start with. I wanna her to rim me, etc or maybe take my load in her mouth or face etc..

But when i talk to her abt it, she was like 'u're not gonna make me do that right?' then she was like yucking and eewwing away..

Hi Triplecode, I empathize with you cos my wife is the same... my don't even oral me at all... even if she does, the next thing I'll see, not after sex, literally after giving me a blowjob, she will go into the toilet and used listerine to rinse her mouth. Despite I wash my dick clean for her to do it.

So you are here to look for guys to do it to you?

Ur other gf did that to you and that is why you want to experience it again?

[rockexcel]

GymStock, well, overall, what I see is nothing serious though, this is part and parcel of marriage life. Don't take it too hard or else life would be miserable for the whole family.

Concentrate all the blessings to our kids and when they do well in moral and education, then take a good look at ourselves to see the glow in our faces. They are our prize and results but don't take extremes on pamper or abuse them.

Think of solutions and not problems...

[specs101]

hi gymstock:

so sorry to hear that... It's just an opinion based from what u previously said. Lucky u did not kill yourself because you were able to hurdle all the obstacles and look bro, where R u now? Standing high.. You were able to keep your business alive...

hats off to you bro!

looks like ur wife is some kind of dominating...

and having sex with other people is a relief.. U can experience whatever you havent experience with/from your wife. Sometimes guys give good bj than our wives, gfs, and mistress... hehehe

that is why.. We are looking for that certain sensation....

it is really nice that we have this kind of sharing, regardless of who we are and where we came from or race we belong to, it does not matter at all. Hope to meet u guys someday....

[rockexcel]

Come to think of this topic on husband and wife relationship, lets take a step backwards and think :

"What if our wives found out that we are PLUs and they feel cheated or short-changed, can they do likewise the same like what we did and we hubbies accept as they are?"

Looks complicated hor? But I believe it happens in real life... All married BW forumers, what's your view?

[balara01]

still looking for a married guys here. hope to find a buddy

[bi2bi69]

Hi All Married Buddies

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and encouragement base on Gymstock's case. I have benefit from this chat and learnt a lot. I am still learning.

I can empathize with some of you as I sometime in the same predicament with my emotion dealing with my wife - I tend to concentrate on my feeling, my pride, my ego during quarrel. But then, I don't know what's my wife's emotion state during 'heated' argument which usually ended with silent treatment. After few days later, I would be usually the first to build the connection again when I have cooled down.

During the cold silent treatment, that's when I get haughty... hee hee. I need to seek outlet in order to forget the whole event, something exciting but no emotion commitment.

I shared Spec101's perspective - guys give the best BJ. Sometime, I still fantasized my past event with a married guy (regular buddy) for some 69 rendezvous.... Of course that was before I was married.

Sigh - this is something I believe many of us are struggling with me, be truthful or carry this secret to our death bed?

[specs101]

i just want to ask you guys, how often do you fantasize having sex with girls or guys?

a. Seldom

b. Often

c. Always

maybe we can assess ourselves from here.

[kee_hsiao]

i just want to ask you guys, how often do you fantasize having sex with girls or guys?

a. Seldom

b. Often

c. Always

maybe we can assess ourselves from here.

with gals, rarely...

with guys, often... or more than often but not always... hahaha.

[kee_hsiao]

I shared Spec101's perspective - guys give the best BJ. Sometime, I still fantasized my past event with a married guy (regular buddy) for some 69 rendezvous.... Of course that was before I was married.

ya man! guys give the best BJ!!! always feels that only man can suck me properly...

my wife do enjoy sucking me but many times, I need to fake my enjoyment... it's just wasn't quite there yet...

[specs101]

hey kees.. You are now married!!! ... Cheees

[kee_hsiao]

hey kees.. You are now married!!! ... Cheees

yup! I'm juz married! hahahaha.

[GymStock]

hi gymstock:

so sorry to hear that... It's just an opinion based from what u previously said. Lucky u did not kill yourself because you were able to hurdle all the obstacles and look bro, where R u now? Standing high.. You were able to keep your business alive...

hats off to you bro!

looks like ur wife is some kind of dominating...

and having sex with other people is a relief.. U can experience whatever you havent experience with/from your wife. Sometimes guys give good bj than our wives, gfs, and mistress... hehehe

that is why.. We are looking for that certain sensation....

it is really nice that we have this kind of sharing, regardless of who we are and where we came from or race we belong to, it does not matter at all. Hope to meet u guys someday....

Thks Bro....

I too agree with you without a doubt that guys gives the best blowjobs... come to think of it... am hungry for one now... hahaha.

Once again, am happy that this thread gives us the avenue to share our life journey, experiences, struggles and etc...

[GymStock]

Come to think of this topic on husband and wife relationship, lets take a step backwards and think :

"What if our wives found out that we are PLUs and they feel cheated or short-changed, can they do likewise the same like what we did and we hubbies accept as they are?"

Looks complicated hor? But I believe it happens in real life... All married BW forumers, what's your view?

This is probably one question that we choose to ignore... be it they do with a gal or a guy. I think all of us hope that our wives will NEVER find out about this side of us.

[GymStock]

i just want to ask you guys, how often do you fantasize having sex with girls or guys?

a. Seldom

b. Often

c. Always

maybe we can assess ourselves from here.

with gals... never.

with guys... when i need or want to fantasize... it will always be with guys. Does that falls under always? haha.

[GymStock]

yup! I'm juz married! hahahaha.

Hey... congrats! hope you managed to cover your dinner cost thru the ang baos! haha.

[specs101]

gymstock:

looks like that's an always haha...

so... Did u had a load? Hahaa

[kee_hsiao]

Hey... congrats! hope you managed to cover your dinner cost thru the ang baos! haha.

yup. all covered. phew~~~

[bi2bi69]

Hey... congrats! hope you managed to cover your dinner cost thru the ang baos! haha.

Welcome Kee_Hsiao - to the true status of Married Bi. Congratulation! Hope you have a blissful marriage and at the same time a good secured 'balance' in your lifestyle. :clap:

i just want to ask you guys, how often do you fantasize having sex with girls or guys? a. Seldom b. Often c. Always maybe we can assess ourselves from here.

How do I put this? There are times when I have short fantasy on making love to women. Sometime, when I see a women, I would wonder how it is like to fxxk her.

However, more often then not, I have long fantasy on making love to man when I PCC. Usually would be a 3some. Someone going down on me while I gave a BJ to the 3rd.... :oops:

[specs101]

bi2bi:

that.one is hot.. Mine is im eating her while he sucks me hehe... Turning hot in here

[Triplecode11]

Yes i've gotten rimmed before.. I liked it and thats ehy i yearn it. The one that gave me rimming was my ex gf, but she's married now too, her life itself is problematic, i dont wanna complicate my life as well as hers.

I tried gently touching or lick ny wife's hole before but EVERYTIME she'll like move away.. Or push my hand or head away.. Sigh..

I yearn to have my hole stimulated, heard abt the male gspot too..

I am here to look for people who i can connect with , or someone who i can work with for fun..

[lifebook]

yup! I'm juz married! hahahaha.

Congrats !!!

[frendlee]

If a married man has a JO buddy is he cheating?