How Long Will You Stay In The Closet?

[Guest Mind Spinning]

15 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

I hope that the work of trimming my excess wording does not give you a fainting spell

 

Don't ever do that again.  I am keeping a close watch on the usage of  limited bandwidth space here.

[Steve5380]

6 hours ago, Guest Mind Spinning said:

Don't ever do that again.  I am keeping a close watch on the usage of  limited bandwidth space here.

 

Thank God that there is someone watching over the use of bandwidth !!!

You should be also concerned over the use of disk space in BW's server  

 

 

10 hours ago, Since u r here said:

he is so touched that the dad did not violently disapproved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Mum is also crying due to tears of happiness!! goodness, Steve

U r not asking qns to amuse me right??????? and this was not the first time u interpret it wrongly again (he has a sister and mum's version too) 
----   etc.
 

 

I also found and watched his coming out to mum and sister.  They all act like being gay is a horrible thing but because it is about her son and her brother they accept it.

The first thing a family that has a gay member should do is to investigate the reality of homosexuality and convince themselves that it is perfectly natural and fine.  

Especially his sister is so evasive behind a fake smile.  Instead she should have hugged and kissed his brother and told him that she is absolutely fine with him being gay.

 

9 hours ago, fab said:

 

This American dad isn't very comforting. 

 

I reckon it's more a dads issue.

 

I never said that American dads are more comforting.  I personally don't see the need of making a distinction between East and West.

 

The two videos about East and West make the case for the need of society to "decriminalize" homosexuality.  Coming out should not be a BOMB dropped on the family.  Parents as early as possible should identify their children and give special care to the education of the gay children so that they are strong to confront life.  That FEAR revealed in the videos should not exist. Instead, there should be nothing to be afraid of.   Imagine the fear of the two boys having to come out to their father...  on the phone instead of in person!

 

Seeing these strong scenes of coming out to the father reminds me again that by never having had a father I was not really disadvantaged !

[Guest Guest]

28 minutes ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Thank God that there is someone watching over the use of bandwidth !!!

You should be also concerned over the use of disk space in BW's server  

 

 

 

I also found and watched his coming out to mum and sister.  They all act like being gay is a horrible thing but because it is about her son and her brother they accept it.

The first thing a family that has a gay member should do is to investigate the reality of homosexuality and convince themselves that it is perfectly natural and fine.  

Especially his sister is so evasive behind a fake smile.  Instead she should have hugged and kissed his brother and told him that she is absolutely fine with him being gay.

 

 

I never said that American dads are more comforting.  I personally don't see the need of making a distinction between East and West.

 

The two videos about East and West make the case for the need of society to "decriminalize" homosexuality.  Coming out should not be a BOMB dropped on the family.  Parents as early as possible should identify their children and give special care to the education of the gay children so that they are strong to confront life.  That FEAR revealed in the videos should not exist. Instead, there should be nothing to be afraid of.   Imagine the fear of the two boys having to come out to their father...  on the phone instead of in person!

 

Seeing these strong scenes of coming out to the father reminds me again that by never having had a father I was not really disadvantaged !

 

 

 

[fab]

2 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I never said that American dads are more comforting.  I personally don't see the need of making a distinction between East and West.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 2/10/2020 at 12:16 AM, Steve5380 said:

 

 

Here in the West we see the gains in spiritual health when parents, especially fathers, are not afraid of giving their children plenty of affection.

I see this in my son, who, I don't know from where, got this extraordinary parenting skills.  Apart of being a busy doctor, he spends so much time with my grandchildren, and hugs them, kisses them, plays with them, tells them he loves them, etc.  I would like to have been instead of his father,  his son!  

 

[Steve5380]

 

1 hour ago, fab said:

 

 

Well... I contradicted myself.  It is not the first time.😪

I am changing my thinking in that both East and West  have good and bad fathers.

 

And "good" or "bad" is not really an absolute.

It is the environment these fathers live in and the way they were educated.

[Steve5380]

1 hour ago, Since u r here said:

u read it too negatively and commented it too negatively

 

According to the rule of signs,  negatively times negatively should result in positively.  No?  

[Guest Guest]

11 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

Well... I contradicted myself.  It is not the first time.😪

 

Very common with spineless people with no firm principles. 

[Steve5380]

8 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

 

Very common with spineless people with no firm principles. 

 

Yes, it is very common with you.  But it happens to me only by accident

 

[Guest Guest]

22 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

 

Very common with spineless people with no firm principles. 

 

14 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Yes, it is very common with you.  But it happens to me only by accident

 

 

 

Sorry to hear of your accident.

And thank you for your admission that you are spineless and with no firm principles. 

[Steve5380]

10 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

 

Sorry to hear of your accident.

 

 

Thank you.  Honest people like me only contradict themselves by accident. 

 

But this thread is about the Closet.  How long will you stay in your "Guest Guest" aka Dirty Auntie closet?

[Guest Guest]

1 hour ago, Steve5380 said:

 

Thank you.  Honest people like me only contradict themselves by accident. 

 

But this thread is about the Closet.  How long will you stay in your "Guest Guest" aka Dirty Auntie closet?

 

Cannot answer for Guest Guest aka Dirty Auntie. 

[Guest Uncle]

On 2/12/2020 at 12:44 PM, Guest Guest said:

 

Sorry to hear of your accident.

And thank you for your admission that you are spineless and with no firm principles. 

Life is short. Come out of your closet

[Guest exfirit]

On 11/13/2014 at 12:22 AM, xLeviathan said:

I think we should all prepare some form of back up plan if we're coming out to our parents (in case we get kicked out lol)

At least I am.

 

How I pray, that a time will come, I can free myself, from their expectations.
On that day, I'll discover someway to be myself, and to make my family proud.

[Guest Charlie]

On 9/1/2020 at 10:52 PM, Guest exfirit said:

 

How I pray, that a time will come, I can free myself, from their expectations.
On that day, I'll discover someway to be myself, and to make my family proud.

 

When would that time be?

[daydreamingfish]

On 11/11/2014 at 10:33 AM, Jake.Roxas said:

If you are not 'Out' yet, we want to know the reason why. How long will you keep it?

Till this day, who "we" refers to is not explicitly stated. 😏

 

[daydreamingfish]

.

Edited February 15, 2021 by daydreamingfish
gone off course from original purpose of thread 🙃

[SuBee]

I'm a bisexual man which I found over the years are distrusted by either straight or gays as if this can't be possible, that somehow I just couldn't accept my homosexuality (from the gays) or that bi people are just sexual perverts (from the straights).  Coming out as bi almost ensures disdain for "playing both teams".  Beside, as a married man who is supposed to be monogamous, it really wouldn't matter if I like both men and women. 

So I am a closeted bi and really like the sexual energy of both women and men for the way they are different and the way I respond differently.  I like to be more assertive with women and more feminine with men and comfortable with both.

[Guest Jonas]

I made my big reveal early this year and now I'm homeless. So better think not just twice but many times before you reveal yourself to your parents especially to you father.

[FlippantMount]

It's my stance that that moment you come out to yourself (e.g acknowledge and accepting you are not straight), you are no longer in the closet.

 

[sum1outhere_03]

Sorry for hijacking this thread, I dunno if this is the right place to post this. But perhaps to those who have already come out of closet:

 

1) Has life for you changed? (positively or negatively)

2) Do you actually have more friends within the community, and

3) Has finding a partner been "easier" after you have come out?

 

Maybe you can share with us for our considerations? 

[bhyx]

Nothing wrong with not coming out. Don't feel pressured to do so.

[Guest Why oh Why]

Why must stay in closet?

 

Why must come out?

 

Why must tell people your sexuality?

 

Why do people even care?

 

Do straight people go round telling others they are straight?

 

It's 2021. Nobody cares about who you love or sleep with. 

[Guest Trent]

Until I die I think

[Steve5380]

On 4/9/2021 at 11:38 AM, Guest Jonas said:

I made my big reveal early this year and now I'm homeless. So better think not just twice but many times before you reveal yourself to your parents especially to you father.

 

I lost my father when I was a baby, but I am a father myself.  So I understand perfectly well what fatherhood is.

Even the conservative Catholic Church has now spoken against parents rejecting their children who are homosexuals.

 

If I were in your place,  I would go around all your family members and acquaintances and reveal that your father threw you out for being gay,  and how this is against being civilized and against today's standards of parental morality.  I would expose your father for the abominable act of rejecting his son because he does not like his nature.  I would go to the media if possible, even walk in front of government places with a placard describing what your father did to you, and, if I will end up in jail, I will gain access to the media.  

 

On 4/9/2021 at 1:03 PM, FlippantMount said:

It's my stance that that moment you come out to yourself (e.g acknowledge and accepting you are not straight), you are no longer in the closet.

 

 

Yes, coming out to yourself is wise.  And this can be all the coming out. 

 

On 6/12/2021 at 10:13 AM, bhyx said:

Nothing wrong with not coming out. Don't feel pressured to do so.

 

We agree!  What is the need to reveal our intimate issues?  The only justification to do it is if there is a NEED.

If we want to satisfy our nature we should do it without making a big deal out of it. If others find out, that is their issue. 

 

I have nearly completed my life, enjoying some good gay life, without ever doing a "come out" like it is understood.  Why do I need to do this now? 

[InBangkok]

8 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

If I were in your place,  I would go around all your family members and acquaintances and reveal that your father threw you out for being gay,  and how this is against being civilized and against today's standards of parental morality.  I would expose your father for the abominable act of rejecting his son because he does not like his nature.  I would go to the media if possible, even walk in front of government places with a placard describing what your father did to you, and, if I will end up in jail, I will gain access to the media. 

You would dare to do this in Singapore? You would be prepared to go to jail in Singapore? If you actually lived in Singapore (where I assume @Guest Jonas might live), you would either be mocked or jailed - probably both. You do not understand the nature of Chinese families - and many other Asian families.

[Steve5380]

35 minutes ago, InBangkok said:

You would dare to do this in Singapore? You would be prepared to go to jail in Singapore? If you actually lived in Singapore (where I assume @Guest Jonas might live), you would either be mocked or jailed - probably both. You do not understand the nature of Chinese families - and many other Asian families.

 

Why not?  There are people with more guts than you have. Would you have demonstrated at the Stonewall riot?

Have you been in jail in Singapore, and you want to warn me?  

I don't understand the nature of your resentment that makes you attack most posts I write.

[InBangkok]

5 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

Why not?  There are people with more guts than you have. Would you have demonstrated at the Stonewall riot?

Have you been in jail in Singapore, and you want to warn me?  

I don't understand the nature of your resentment that makes you attack most posts I write.

What a ridiculous reply! You compare Stonewall with Singapore?

 

I did not attack your post. I commented on it - with a degree of derision as it deserved. I made the point that in Singapore you would never dare do what you suggest another should do "if I were in your place . . . ". I stand by that 100%. So I suggest you write posts that are more sensible given the legal, cultural and societal situations in Singapore.

[Steve5380]

2 hours ago, InBangkok said:

What a ridiculous reply! You compare Stonewall with Singapore?

 

I did not attack your post. I commented on it - with a degree of derision as it deserved. I made the point that in Singapore you would never dare do what you suggest another should do "if I were in your place . . . ". I stand by that 100%. So I suggest you write posts that are more sensible given the legal, cultural and societal situations in Singapore.

 

You never read carefully or you have a comprehension problem.  I never suggested what another person should do.  Instead, I commented WHAT I WOULD DO.  And when I wrote "in your place",  I didn't necessarily mean in his location but in his situation, which is the meaning of this English idiom.  If my father had thrown me out of the house for being gay, this would never have happened in Singapore but in the place I live,  and I know this place quite well.   

 

 

[InBangkok]

2 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

You never read carefully or you have a comprehension problem.  I never suggested what another person should do.  Instead, I commented WHAT I WOULD DO.

Oh really! Your first sentence is rubbish (a term you use quite frequently of other posters)! As for the second sentence, let me get this straight. You respond to a poster who has informed readers in a Singapore forum of his situation after coming out. Now you twist your comment to suggest that instead of giving HIM specific advice on what he ought to have done you state you were actually advising him what YOU would have done in Houston, Texas or wherever your father (had he been alive) would have thrown you out of the family home. But you know perfectly well that is just not true! Let's consider your response -

 

19 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

If I were in your place,  I would go around all your family members and acquaintances and reveal that your father threw you out for being gay,  and how this is against being civilized and against today's standards of parental morality.  I would expose your father for the abominable act of rejecting his son because he does not like his nature.  I would go to the media if possible, even walk in front of government places with a placard describing what your father did to you, and, if I will end up in jail, I will gain access to the media. 

Now if you really intended - which I very sincerely doubt - that that comment referred to what you would do or have done, there would be no "you" and "your" in that comment. Instead you would have used "I" and "my". But then you had earlier advised us that you lost your father when you were a baby! So you had no father to complain to! 

 

As for your response - 

 

10 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

Why not?  There are people with more guts than you have.

If I lived in Singapore, I certainly would never even consider any of your suggestions. The thought that any Singaporean would parade with a placard in front of a government department about the actions of his father throwing him out of the family home because he is gay is just laughable. And if you got thrown in jail, neither The Straits Times or The New Paper or 联合早报 or 新明日报 or any other media would even consider giving you the time of day. That's not a matter of guts. It's of practicality and consequences.

Edited August 2, 2021 by InBangkok

[Steve5380]

9 hours ago, InBangkok said:

 

Now if you really intended - which I very sincerely doubt - that that comment referred to what you would do or have done, there would be no "you" and "your" in that comment. Instead you would have used "I" and "my". But then you had earlier advised us that you lost your father when you were a baby! So you had no father to complain to! 

 

 

There are multiple linguistic ways to write what is in our mind.  So please don't keep twisting what is in MY mind.  What I wrote is correct,  like the following example:

 

If I were in your place,  I would arrange your abundant trips around the world in a different way.  Instead of constantly adding carbon footprints from the planes you ride to be able to sit down somewhere far away to listen to someone play some music... , you would be experiencing the enjoyment of this music in the comfort of your home, at whichever time you want to hear it,  by whichever artist is your favorite,  in the environment you choose, like while eating pizza and ice cream... , instead of having to sit quiet for some hours in an assigned place, surrounded by strangers who may be expelling who knows what viruses, looking at the musicians from a distance that not even binoculars can bring as close as what you see in a YouTube video, and hearing a sound that may be inferior depending on where you sit and the acoustic of the place compared with the video.  And if the event is long and your bladder is acting up,  you may have no choice but to pee in your pants or in the precautionary diapers you may be wearing, all this instead of stopping the video and doing what you need to do, and then continuing where you left off without problems.  This is what I would do if I were in  your place.  But I have little interest in being in your place and I'm not telling you what to do.  You are already an adult! 

.

Edited August 3, 2021 by Steve5380

[Steve5380]

8 minutes ago, alexandrbower said:

S­ecre­t pla­yground for ad­ults, wh­ere y­ou can m­eet di­fferent peo­ple - https://bch.gg/nasty

 

There is nasty, and nasty.  The nasty criticism I keep getting by a troll who twist what I write is not the good "nasty".  I hope that with my last post he will desist and spend his time elsewhere. 

[InBangkok]

13 hours ago, Steve5380 said:

There are multiple linguistic ways to write what is in our mind.  So please don't keep twisting what is in MY mind.  What I wrote is correct.

Nope! What you wrote was 100% incorrect and that is perfectly obvious.

 

But then you never, ever accept that you can possibly be wrong. Instead you always twist what you wrote when you are wrong and then write stupid childish posts like the most recent one which, by the way, should be in a different thread as it has absolutely nothing to do with the subject of this thread. Remember comparing live opera performances to attending a gay sauna and suggesting you would eat pizzas if you went to an opera performance? You cannot deny either. But I have zero doubt you will. You repeated these several times until weeks later you announced you had been joking. By that time there was no other excuse you could fallback on. Time perhaps to remind readers but I will not bore others with more of what you have written at this time.

Edited August 3, 2021 by InBangkok

[Steve5380]

8 hours ago, InBangkok said:

Nope! What you wrote was 100% incorrect and that is perfectly obvious.

 

 

Zzzz... zzzz...zzzz

[Guest Justin]

As long as I want. And who cares

[Guest Ptero]

Is there a timeframe?

[BudakFit]

Forever. So far so good...why need to ruin it? Beside bromance fun sex is cool..go with the flow....

[Cookieeee Monster]

I am close to 50 yrs old and I've no intention to announce my liking in men. Will just go on with my life as of what I am doing now. If one day I get caught by family, relatives or friends then I might just acknowledge it lor. 过一天，看一天吧！

[Guest Frederick]

I'm thinking of coming out now this year. What are the pros and cons?

[Steve5380]

On 7/30/2022 at 8:53 AM, Cookieeee Monster said:

I am close to 50 yrs old and I've no intention to announce my liking in men. Will just go on with my life as of what I am doing now. If one day I get caught by family, relatives or friends then I might just acknowledge it lor. 过一天，看一天吧！

 

At 50 yrs old you can have many more years of good sex life.

 

Since you "have not been caught", your persona must not give any hint that you are gay.  Good.  Continue like this, and don't give any value to an unnecessary action of "coming out".  Your sexual orientation is no one's business but yours and those you want to know it.

 

But at 50 yrs old you should not allow any persons or prejudices in your mind to get in the way of living your life according to your nature.  Be what you are on a need-to-know basis.  And convince yourself that there is nothing to "get caught" on, instead some family, relatives, friends may "learn something new" about your nature that should not be negative in any way.  And at 50 yrs old you should have enough knowledge and assertiveness to confront anyone who objects to it and set the person straight.  

[bodybuildMLY]

Even if one opens up and everyone who is straight is accepting, it is not easy to be in a gay circle especially how divisive and unstable we are as a community. 
 

A lot of gay men prefer status quo. 

[Ryuki]

On 11/12/2014 at 2:33 AM, Jake.Roxas said:

If you are not 'Out' yet, we want to know the reason why. How long will you keep it?

As long as I can ,

 

Malaysia it is illegal and in my job I might be discriminate by colleagues or asked to resign.. and if caught can be in jail plus caning... Really depends on the country law.. my friend not as simple as you want out then you can out.. I was being harassed to resigned from a job in early 2000s just bcos someone posted a stupid comment in my fb and hr say I am gay bcos of that