Will You Have A R/ship With A Married Man? + In Love With / Liked A Married Man (Compiled)

[fab]

Is your bf from the Qing dynasty?

[Firday]

this is true event happen to my dear friends...

family threaten to cut off financial assistance

married but not happy

lover married to revenge but disaster on the poor vietnam girl and his family - no in good term.

the cycle have destroyed the lover path and hurt those parties.

now they can't do anything but in sorrow regret mood.....living apart/running away from family..

tragic love story...the last time, they lament rather die then live on.

[Guest Saga]

Your boyfriend surely sucks alot by not choosing you, sad to be you. Move on and get over.

He is destroying an innocent girl life just to fulfill his demanding mother's fantasy.

'Educating' your mother takes time and patient over the years, surely your boyfriend cannot do it over a day.

[123ZZZ]

tried forcing, fighting, etc. so over that already, main concern is hurting the innocent wife-to-be

accept his decision so see what happens next, if can tolerate then tolerate lor, if cannot then still have to move on right, pain will go away hopefully quickly

thanks to everyone for your concern and really appreciate all your advice

[iamziz]

tried forcing, fighting, etc. so over that already, main concern is hurting the innocent wife-to-be

accept his decision so see what happens next, if can tolerate then tolerate lor, if cannot then still have to move on right, pain will go away hopefully quickly

thanks to everyone for your concern and really appreciate all your advice

I am sorry to learn about your predicament. I hope you will find all the strength you need during this trying time. I can relate to the main concern of hurting the innocent wife-to-be. Life is such when we are trapped or not making a wise decision, the innocents seem to be at risk. I can relate to that, if this is any consolation.

Long time ago I met a pleasant guy. We dated not long. Just for a couple of weeks. 2 weeks before his wedding day, he told me he was getting married. Needless to say, my heart was broken. I kept asking myself why would he spend time and show so much affections to me when he already knew he was getting married. He got married on 9th August. A date difficult to forget. I asked why was he getting married and he blamed the failed relationships he had with men. I found that excuse one of the lamest I ever heard and avenge on an innocent lady just not the right thing to do. He went on honeymoon with his wife. They came back, I made a friendly visit. I saw her for the 1st time. A very decent and pleasant looking lady. She served me some drinks and desserts and excused herself. I asked how was the honeymoon. He said it was good. He went to a sauna next to the hotel. Had sex with a black guy. He had fun while his wife was sleeping. The next day the black guy rang the doorbell. He brought him a bouquet of flowers. He opened the door and while the black guy was excited to see him again, he panicked. Took the flowers and chased the black guy away. The wife asked who was it. He said a delivery of flowers he had ordered for her. It broke my heart and I hated him for that.

I do hope your friend will find peace, too. He must also be in a stressful situation now and as some said, leaving you doesn't mean he doesn't love you anymore. It is just that he just couldn't love you the way you guys used to love each other.

Some would disagree, but if you can find some love left in your heart for this man, do help him to ease the emotional pain he is going through. He has a difficult mother for the stories we don't really know except the threat to end her life and you whom he has not really forgotten, possibly sleepless and in tears now.

“In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us.”

Flora Edwards

I wish both of you the best in the days ahead. Hang around with positive people. Try to avoid listening to romantic songs during this time. Spend time with real friends who are not biased but neutral.

Hugs

[am9]

He can marry.

Just like Abraham Lincoln and Mary.

Abraham Lincoln is a closeted gay.

Just let him marry lar.

Although not happy married will be most likely, but he no longer need to bear pressure from people especially mother. He is like Lincoln, u are like Joshua

[Snonymous]

Hard to judge in different cases, different persons have different preferences and we won't know how the bf thinks and why he thinks so, as that's his life too.

*** For my personal view ***

We can't hide the truth forever. In my opinion, I will just try to communicate with my parents instead of keep it behind.

In fact, I am slowly instilling some thoughts about homosexual and the right for every mankind to love someone without boundaries (sex, races & etc) into their thinking. Because they are my last and strongest support forever and I need them to understand, and I knew that fire will never be covered by paper, they will know the fact that I am gay someday.

I cannot imagine if my parents knew the fact in the very last minute, without any preparation. I think it is too selfish to do that to the parents. Just like others to let me know the fact that I will never accept in the very last minute, I will be damn mad too!

Parents need to understand their children. This is another part of problem. Most of the parents not really understand the needs of their children in nowadays society. Parents always enforce their thinking (those things that the parents selfishly cannot fulfill in their own life) into their children life. Hence, we need to let them know about this kind of wrong doing too. Thanks God that I have the parents that let me do the things I really want. Just the idea of homosexual is too new for them, so I need to teach them.

I always believe that, parents are the persons who give our lives; deep in their heart they will know how to love us and accept us, just the matter of time to correct their thinking. I hope something can be done to stop the marriage, as that does consider a blind marriage too. It is unfair to everyone, including the wife-to-be. Don’t give up any hope, only hope can make things happen. Cheer up~

[Guest guest]

Dick lee is gay but he is married than divource.

[evianguy]

if your bf is getting married because his mother threathens to kill herself

what would you do?

Come out to the mother and gf.

gg liao

[thaiboyz]

封建！

[Cereal]

I am sorry to learn about your predicament. I hope you will find all the strength you need during this trying time. I can relate to the main concern of hurting the innocent wife-to-be. Life is such when we are trapped or not making a wise decision, the innocents seem to be at risk. I can relate to that, if this is any consolation.

Long time ago I met a pleasant guy. We dated not long. Just for a couple of weeks. 2 weeks before his wedding day, he told me he was getting married. Needless to say, my heart was broken. I kept asking myself why would he spend time and show so much affections to me when he already knew he was getting married. He got married on 9th August. A date difficult to forget. I asked why was he getting married and he blamed the failed relationships he had with men. I found that excuse one of the lamest I ever heard and avenge on an innocent lady just not the right thing to do. He went on honeymoon with his wife. They came back, I made a friendly visit. I saw her for the 1st time. A very decent and pleasant looking lady. She served me some drinks and desserts and excused herself. I asked how was the honeymoon. He said it was good. He went to a sauna next to the hotel. Had sex with a black guy. He had fun while his wife was sleeping. The next day the black guy rang the doorbell. He brought him a bouquet of flowers. He opened the door and while the black guy was excited to see him again, he panicked. Took the flowers and chased the black guy away. The wife asked who was it. He said a delivery of flowers he had ordered for her. It broke my heart and I hated him for that.

I do hope your friend will find peace, too. He must also be in a stressful situation now and as some said, leaving you doesn't mean he doesn't love you anymore. It is just that he just couldn't love you the way you guys used to love each other.

Some would disagree, but if you can find some love left in your heart for this man, do help him to ease the emotional pain he is going through. He has a difficult mother for the stories we don't really know except the threat to end her life and you whom he has not really forgotten, possibly sleepless and in tears now.

“In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us.”

Flora Edwards

I wish both of you the best in the days ahead. Hang around with positive people. Try to avoid listening to romantic songs during this time. Spend time with real friends who are not biased but neutral.

Hugs

I'm feeling sad for the girl... A bouquet of flower intended to Him but he lied that it was for her... His life is full of lies and cover-up.

[allmyimages2020]

i can't deal with someone unfilial, no matter how evil/unreasonable the parents may be... i dunno but that's just me. not asking u to worship the ground ur parents walk on but at the same time i dont think i can stomach something a person does that hurts his parents, let alone cause their death.

Nonsense, the mother expecting a filial son cannot do things that put the son into an impossible situation. Such mothers are worse than unfilial sons.

Edited August 24, 2012 by allmyimages2020

[awkwardpenguin]

this happen to me, 9 years ago. till now i've never ever been into any serious relationship any more.

never really recovered from the emotional scars.

but now its my family who r pressuring me to get married. i just cant. dont wanna ruin an innocent girl's life. nor my parents.

its the worst situation u can get.

all i can think of is just to find a way to live in another continent and dissappear.

[Firday]

this is true event happen to my dear friends...

family threaten to cut off financial assistance

married but not happy

lover married to revenge but disaster on the poor vietnam girl and his family - no in good term.

the cycle have destroyed the lover path and hurt those parties.

now they can't do anything but in sorrow regret mood.....living apart/running away from family..

tragic love story...the last time, they lament rather die then live on.

recd a sudden sms,...he commit suicide last nite overdose of sleeping pills and a suicide note to his lover.

i m lost in words....going to buy train ticket to attend his wake this weekend.

[Freedom711]

If such situation happens to us....wad will we do? Will we give in and live a big lie like the gays before our time? I had been thinking what if Im stuck in such situation one day...I should be asking myself will I be able to live with such a lie 4ever. If can't, I rather let my mother hates me than ruining the life of an innocent gal...or worse....children's. I think ruining someone else's life just add on bad karma to mothers. Its good to be filial...but have to look at bigger picture at times.

[iamziz]

recd a sudden sms,...he commit suicide last nite overdose of sleeping pills and a suicide note to his lover.

i m lost in words....going to buy train ticket to attend his wake this weekend.

I am sorry for your loss.

[doncoin]

Seriously, not that I am being unsympathetic, but I am tired of seeing everyone just whine and whine about how miserable their lives are. Keep in mind that you have the power to make that change. It has to start with you.

By living your life out and proud, you are managing the expectations of everyone around you instead of them managing yours. No longer will you have to deal with the pressure of getting married, or going through the charade of a farcical marriage. No longer will you have to lie daily and creating more lies upon lies to manage the expectations of everyone around you.

Things may be tough at first when you decide to become honest with the people you care most. They may reject you and want nothing to do with you. The thing to keep in mind with their rejection is that it is not you they are rejecting, but the truth that they do not want to deal with. You've done your share by being honest, and as adults and people who care about you, it is their job to manage the truth. It is something they have to do themselves.

We all know the typical consequences of farcical marriages. They eventually break down. You do not want to wait 10 year down the road and look back at the moment and wish you had be braver.

You can only live your life for yourself. It is not being selfish. It is being responsible towards yourself. It has to start there before you can be responsible for another human being. Altruisum will only lead to resentment eventually. Attachments lead to suffering.

As I've mentioned in an earlier post, the mother, by threatening to kill herself because of an unmarried son, is doing so not so much as she really wanted to die, but more of her unwillingness to handle the realities of having a gay son. She is pushing her responsibility towards herself onto her son. She is cornering her son to conform to her expectations, live the life she wanted him to without concern for his happiness, so that she is able to continue living in this fabricated reality of harmony at the expense of her son.

Parents are human beings. They are not perfect. As adult children, it is our responsibilty to demonstrate to them that we are old enough, wise enough to some degree, and responsible enough towards ourselves, and our well-being. By coming out and sharing with them who we are, is not an act of unkindness or selfishness. It is us exposing our vulnerabilities to our parents and letting them know that we want to be honest with them. We cannot control how our parents will react to the news- i.e. threatening to kill themselves, or how they will feel about the truth, but by letting them know, we are sending to our parents that we are being responsible to ourselves. They in turn are responsible for managing the truth themselves.

[babyleo]

hey guys!

just wanna ask how will you feel and what will you do when u found out your bf is ady married?

[merlinkun]

Send photo of said person and me having sex anonymously to his wife.

[babyleo]

Send photo of said person and me having sex anonymously to his wife.

for? isnt that sexposing yourself? and what if the wife ady know he got guy outside?

[merlinkun]

for? isnt that sexposing yourself? and what if the wife ady know he got guy outside?

good point, pixelate your face?

depend on the wife? she might say "wow hot threesome sounds fun!" but what are the odds? lol

[babyleo]

good point, pixelate your face?

depend on the wife? she might say "wow hot threesome sounds fun!" but what are the odds? lol

LOL! then his wife is just pure slut.... slutter than him.... but how will u feel when u found out that he is married?

[rclds123]

for me, the bf must choose, the wife or the guy? unless, it's amicable for the 3 to be in a 3-some intimate relationship

[Guest 蓝天蔚]

i probably will beat him up first for making me a 小三 w/o me knowing..... wth.....but ultimately i probably will leave him.....too complicated

[Guest stbrianud]

I ain't no mistress... I'm either the mister or the wife. Preferably the former.

[Guest stbrianud]

Haha nothing just trolling~

Anyways it's complicated...

(SIDEBAR: think why we use the term "complicated" it's because we have a thought or opinion but it's convoluted and can't exactly put it to words haha...)

It's a choice... I mean do u really wanna be with him KNOWING that he will always put someone else first?

Aside from that would be the violation of the sanctity of married... Marriage is suppose to be a sign of commitment and devotion.. Not a mask or facade to disguise you being gay.

[GachiMuchi]

hey guys!

just wanna ask how will you feel and what will you do when u found out your bf is ady married?

Well, if the rice have been cooked and if you chose to be with him, then you will have to accept that he is married. Then again, if you can't accept that he is married for fear of breaking up his family, you can always leave him. No one put a knife on your neck to force you to stay with him. Stay or go, you always have a choice, regardless if you love or or not.

[babyleo]

mixing feeling....

[bodybuildMLY]

Haiyah, just be opened minded. If he cares for both his wife and you, to me, it is okay. Strike a balance, and be happy. Isn't it better?

[SeannyShortcake]

Alt + F4.

I would thoroughly investigate his background first naturally but if in the case that that HUGE ASS fact eluded me,

I would most likely say good-bye.

Case-to-case basis really.

[babyleo]

Haiyah, just be opened minded. If he cares for both his wife and you, to me, it is okay. Strike a balance, and be happy. Isn't it better?

isnt that easy as u said.... the fact that "one day he might divorce cz of me" is affecting me.... :/

[estee12]

haha. i wonder how the kids will feel.

[oralb]

how did you find out? did he tell you or you found out yourself.

anyway both tell you that your BF is not exactly honest.

[Crimson87]

Make a clean break with that guy. If he is not honest about his marital status when he decides to be with you, how can you continue to trust him? Who knows, he is not only married, but also attached with many boyfriends and you are only one of them.

[thaiboyz]

Aiyo cannot lah! Can't accept to fxxk someone's hubby who in-return will fxxk his wife later on. Poor wife and worse still if he is somebody's father. Dun wan to cat fight with his wife lah....haha

[Guest 谢安真]

hey guys!

just wanna ask how will you feel and what will you do when u found out your bf is ady married?

Leave him. Imagine if he also has a daughter and even if he divorce his wife, you'll be the stepmother?! :o Scary hor

[media=]

[Guest Guest]

I am married and even when I tell guys that, they still want to have relationship with me.

Ymmv it's all about looks.

[abang]

I still stick to my first rule..

I will not get entangle in a relationship with a bisexual and/or a married man.

They want the best of both worlds..

See them..RUN away ....

At the end of the day, he will never bring us to his family's REunion dinner, right?

[XiaoMessy]

Blackmail him! :>

[Guest Guest]

married guys are gd for fun or f*ck buddies only.

go find a fellow gay as your bf.

no offence but married guys in nature gonna hide this and hide that, who knows what he will hide from u in future?

[oralb]

there are 2 different issues here - whether the person is married and how truthful he is.

Dont mix it up.

[babyleo]

how did you find out? did he tell you or you found out yourself.

anyway both tell you that your BF is not exactly honest.

he told me after we are together for 6 months.....

[GachiMuchi]

Tell tale signs that your bf is a Married Man (or attached) and how to spot them :

1. He will tell you the he is discreet or closeted.

2. He never answer your call late at nite and tells you that he off his phone when he is home.

3. He has 2 or more phones.

4. He tells you his weekend is spent with his family or he is never contactable during weekends, especially Sunday.

5. He only meets you during weekdays and have to be home before midnight or earlier.

6. He never talks about his family or share things about his family or he is evasive when you asked about his family.

7. He will always make you meet him in some hotel and or your place, but never his place.

[Guest payon]

Leave him alone. I will never breakup another family. Especially if he has kids. Even if you both truly love each other, its too complicated for things not to turn ugly.

[WightTonguehlk]

Haiyah, just be opened minded. If he cares for both his wife and you, to me, it is okay. Strike a balance, and be happy. Isn't it better?

This guy.. Everywhere I go... (threads discussing taboo), he is there to support it whole heartedly........... I wonder how u reconcile this with your own personal life... Must be a pretty "go with the flow" or "cin cai" type of life-.-

[Guest Guest]

there are 2 different issues here - whether the person is married and how truthful he is.

Dont mix it up.

yes they are 2 different issues. but it is true that married guys have a high possibility of not being truthful. they might not know it themselves cos it seems natural and becomes a habit after awhile - hiding from wife, hiding from bf and it will soon spill over to matters and aspects of life.

[sgboxers]

Hi babyleo,

Sorry for the sticky situation you are in right now. As much as I would like to give you some sound advice, I am actually not sure how to. Especially when I have not experienced it nor heard it from my friends before. However, I did come across an article in a local magazine before (can't remember which one).

The article was written by a lady thanking her dad for everything that he has provided to her over the years and how she was proud to be his daughter. However, on the flip side, the lady actually knew that her dad was gay, as she mentioned about how her dad was extremely metro-sexual, and she always see guys coming over to her house and sharing a room with her dad for hours at a time. However, I cannot recall if she mentioned if her mum was still around or not.

Also, if you guys thinks this happens only for our circle, think again. I personally do have a family member (quite distant) who is the girlfriend of a married man. On top of it, the family (with kids) of the married man knows about the existence of this relationship and have came to terms with it. To top it off, the family and the husband's girlfriend do travel overseas for holidays together.

I guess being human is complex enough and relationships ain't making it any easier for anyone. However, I've learn not to judge how people want to handle their relationship. Yes, the easy way would be to break off and look for someone better. But at times, it may seem easier said than done. However, I guess end of day, communication and trust is key to most relationships (that what I feel). Again, I'm not to judge what is right or wrong for you. More I feel is, what is acceptable or not to yourself.

Good luck and stay strong dude to whatever path you decide to take. =)

[lormee]

Seems like there is always something interesting abt bi or married men here.

I think it's too vague to pass any opinions here based on what TS said - sometimes we are a tad quick to pass judgements based on what little information we have, which in turn is based on whatever we have experienced in the past.

Anyway, to me (yes I am bi) - it depends on what TS's premise was from the beginning - if he intended to live happily ever after, it's most likely not gonna happen with any happily married dude.

If the premise was just fun and games, what does it matter if the guy is bi/married or gay/single or divorced/with two cocks? It was just physical chemistry. So why yearn for happily ever after if that was the original premise?

But if the "bf" hid the fact that he was married in the first place w the intention of just getting what he wanted for sex, then I'm afraid u've got yourself a lemon. That's just not right...

I'm afraid some bi's (married or otherwise) are not sure of what they want, so in this case, it's best to establish some sort of understanding from the beginning. Don't expect to get what you want, when he himself is not clear on what he is willing to give.

But let's be clear that there are no rights and wrongs based on the sexuality of the person; but rather on the character of the person.

I'm surprised that some of the members have pre-disposed notions about the person based on the sexuality or marital status of a person, which is suprising when they themselves are gays.

And I am not short of listing the stereotypical assumptions about gays - half of which has nothing to do with their sexual orientation but rather based on what other's perceive the gay community to be.

What a fxxked up world we live in.

Good luck to TS - I do hope you find a happily ever after resolution but this is a decision which you can only take.

[Guest Guest]

Nowadays marriage is not a big deal anymore.

7.6% ended in divorce. That is one in 14.

It is not a cliche that the wife don't understand the husband and he seeks outside relationship.

If it's gay relationship, why not? If 5% of those are gays then there sure are plenty of married men looking for relationship.

[Kiat Jun]

i will follow my heart !