crazygolfer Posted July 21, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2007 Golfing Quote of the Day:They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.~ Gardner Dickinson (US professional golfer, 1927-1998) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 22, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2007 Golfing Quote of the Day:My handicap? Woods and irons.~ Chris Codiroli (Professional Baseball Player) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 22, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2007 Golfing Quote of the Day:The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.~ Billy Graham (Evangelist) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 22, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective. ~ Huxtable Pippey Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 22, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom. ~ Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf, 1967 Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 23, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2007 Golf Jokes: Not Much of a FighterThe argumentative drunk in the club bar had been looking for a fight all afternoon since losing his game. Finally he threw a punch at the player on the nearest bar stool. He ducked and the drunk, losing balance, fell off his stool and onto the floor. By the time he'd disentangled himself from bar stools and dusted himself off, his opponent had left. "D'ya see that, barman.'" he complained. "Not much of a fighter was he?" "Not much of a driver either, Sir. He's just driven over your clubs," said the barman gazing out the window. :oops: Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 23, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2007 Golfing Quote of the Day:Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one.~ Author Unknown Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 23, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2007 Golfing Quote of the Day:It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.~ Mark Twain (US writer, 1835-1910) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 23, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2007 Golfing Quote of the Day:If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball (on the golf course).~ Jack Lemmon (US Actor, 1925-2001) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 23, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2007 Golfing Quote of the Day:If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up.~ Tommy Bolt (US Professional Golfer) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 24, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2007 Golfing Quote of the Day:The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flagstick on top.~ Pete Dye (US Golf Course Designer) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 24, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2007 Golf Jokes: Lifelong Headaches Fred was moderately successful golfer, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. His golf, personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he managed to push on, but when his game turned really sour he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem. "The good news is I can cure your headaches, the bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine.The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure and allow your swing to work again is to remove the testicles." Fred was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he has anything to live for, but then figured at least he could play reasonable golf again. He decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realised that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning, swing free, and live a new life. He went to the club for a drink and as he walked past the Pro shop thought, "That's what I need: A new outfit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like some new golf slacks." The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see . . . size 44 long." Fred laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job." Fred tried on the slacks, they fitted perfectly. As Fred admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt, I've got some great new Nicklaus stock." Fred thought for a moment and then said, "Sure . ." . The salesman eyed Fred and said,"Let's see. . . 34 sleeve and . . . 16 and and half neck" Fred was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job."Fred tried on the shirt, and it fitted perfectly. As Fred adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes, we just got new stock with soft spikes" Fred was on a roll and agreed. The salesman said, "Let's see. . .9 and a half. . . wide."Fred was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job." Fred tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Fred walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about a new hat?" Without hesitating, Fred said, "Sure . ." The salesman eyed Fred's head and said, "Let's see . . . 7 5/8." Fred was really impressed, "That's right, how did you know?" "It's my job." The hat fit perfectly. Fred was feeling great, when the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear, got some great new imported stock." Fred thought for a second and said, "Sure . . " The salesman stepped back, eyed Fred's waist and said, "Let's see. . size 36." Fred laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34 - every time you swing it would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache." Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 24, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2007 Golfing Quote of the Day:I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced.~ Author Unknown Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 24, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 24, 2007 Golfing Quote of the Day:Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.~ Harry Vardon (English Legends Golfer) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 25, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 Golfing Quote of the Day:I'm hitting the woods just great -- but having a terrible time getting out of them!~ Author Unknown Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 25, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 Golfing Quote of the Day:The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.~ George Deukmejian (Former Governor of California, 1979-1983) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 25, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 Golfing Quote of the Day:If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle.~ Author Unknown Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 25, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day: Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated. Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Golf Jokes: A Hot Summer DayThe summer day was a particularly hot one, but the Englishman who was on a golfing tour of the Continent gloried in the heat even though in Italy it had most of the locals gasping. He was playing towards the 4th Hole at Pisa's Golf and Country Club when he came across a player who was completely naked and cooling herself in the water hazard. Being a discreet soul, he cleared his throat to let her know he was there. She took no notice. "Er, I say, hello," he called hesitantly in case she hadn't heard his previous approach. "Er, I believe I've taken you unawares." "Well," came a languid reply, "You junta' putta' 'em back!" Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"Every hole should be a difficult par and a comfortable bogey."~ Robert Trent Jones (1906-2000) U.S. golf course designer Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"Tennis and golf are best played, not watched."~ Roger Kahn (1927-) U.S. author Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf" ~ Gene Perret Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2007 Golf Jokes: Three Old GolfersThree old men are about to play their regular match when the Golf Starter asks if they mind that a lady joins them to make up a four ball. When they see the stunning beautiful 18-year old blonde they all agree that she would make a great 4th. Her standard of golf does not match her looks and after playing 17 bad holes she gets to the 18th and has a 20-foot put for a par. "I would do anything in the world to get a par" she tells the three men. All three obviously have the same thing in mind. The first man says "hold your hands tight together and aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole" The second man says "No, no, aim just inside the left edge and hit it firm, make sure you do not leave it short" The 3rd gentleman walks around the green surveying the hole from every angle and say's "Ah, its a gimmie." Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. ~ Author Unknown Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Golf is life. If you can't take golf, you can't take life. ~ Author Unknown Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day: Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day: Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day: Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Golf Jokes: A Rider A foursome of elderly gentlemen went to the bar after a round of golfwhere the new Pro asked them "How did your game go today?" The first said he had a good round with 25 riders. The second said he did OK with 16 riders. The third said not too bad since I had 10 riders.The fourth was disappointed and said that he played badly with only two riders.The Pro was confounded by this term "rider" but not wanting to show his ignorance just smiled and wish them better golf the next time. He then approached Jerry the bartender and asked "Can you tell me what does this term 'riders' mean?" He smiled and explained that a "rider" is when you have hit a shot long enoughto take a ride on a golf cart. Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:A passion, an obsession, a romance, a nice acquaintanceship with trees, sand, and water. ~ Bob Ryan Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:They call it golf because all of the other four-letter words were taken. ~ Raymond Floyd (US Pro Golfer) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 29, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"You're only here for a short visit. Don't hurry, don't worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way. Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 29, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2007 Golf Jokes: Tee BoxA 9-year old boy was walking along a golf course caddying for his dad when he sees an old man teeing off from 3 yards in front of the tee box." Excuse me sir, but your ball is supposed to be in line with the tee box, or just behind it." says the boy. "That's great son." the old man replies."Now do you mind shutting up while I take my second shot?" Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 29, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2007 Golf Jokes: In The RoughMac and Jimmy are playing a challenging new course and as usual Mac is having a tough time off the tee. On the 6th hole he hits a huge banana ball."Did you see where that drive went...is it in the rough?" he asks. "Sort of " says Jimmy. "How far in?" asks Mac." I'm not sure, but I hope our golf cart has 4-wheel drive" Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 29, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 29, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day: Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day: Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 Golf Jokes: Golf Beginners First RoundMorris was a man who knew all there was to know about golf. He knew all the courses, the champions, their scores, as well as the prize money the professionals had won for the past fifty years or more. He had read every book ever published on the game and knew all there was to know about technique, but, strange to say, he had never played a game. Having listened to him hold forth for so long his friends finally ganged up on him and insisted that he play a game. It was arranged for the following weekend. Morris set out with borrowed clubs and faced the eighteen holes of his home course. Five hours later he returned with a score of 53 which included four eagles, nine birdies and a Hole-in-one. Never had anyone seen such a fine performance from a beginner. However while the celebrations were going on in the clubhouse, Morris announced that he would never play again. "What!" cried his distraught mates. "What!" echoed the equally distraught pro. "But you could win all sorts of prizes for the club. You know everything there is to know about the game." "Not everything," Morris replied. "The books didn't tell me I'd have to walk." Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead. ~ Tommy Bolt (US Pro Golfer) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Golf is very much like a love affair, if you don't take it seriously, it's no fun, if you do, it breaks your heart. Don't break your heart, but flirt with the possibility. ~ Louise Suggs (US Lady Pro Golfer) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:If I can hit a curveball, why can't I hit a ball that is standing still on a course?~ Larry Nelson (US Pro Golfer) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:They call it golf because all of the other four-letter words were taken.~ Raymond Floyd (US Pro Golfer) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around. ~ Rick Reilly (US Sports Writer) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted July 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2007 Golf Jokes: Imaginary GolfTwo golfers join up at the first tee and each explains that due to a psychological problem, they play slightly differently than most golfers. The soon learn that they both have the same doctor who has prescribed a game of golf using an imaginary golf ball to reduce stress. And so they tee off with their imaginary balls. After a day of splitting fairways and hitting nothing less then eagles, birdies and pars, they reach the 18th hole.. The first one indicates because they are equal in their score that he should hit first. So he tees off with his imaginary ball. "Look at that, a beautiful shot just on the edge of the green" The second guy hits his imaginary ball and indicates that it has also landed on the edge next to the other ball. The first guy lines up and drains his 20-footer to the bottom of the cup. "You wouldn't believe it, my ball just rolled into the cup, I win."The second guy responds, "You won't believe it either, you just hit my ball." :oops: Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 1, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 1, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"The most rewarding things you do in life are often the ones that look like they cannot be done. Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 1, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 1, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"Golf is not a game of great shots. It's a game of the most misses. The people who win make the smallest mistakes. Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 1, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 1, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening - and it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented. Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 1, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 1, 2007 Golf Jokes: Tough PuttTwo men walk up to a relatively long par three.The golfer says to his caddy, "Looks like a 4-wood and a putter" The caddy hands him the 4-wood and he tops it about five feet in front of him.The caddy immediately hands him his putter and responds, "It looks like you got one hell of a putt left!" Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts