crazygolfer Posted August 25, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:A hole in one is amazing when you think of the different universes this white mass of molecules has to pass through on its way to the hole. ~ Mac O'Grady (US Pro Golfer) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 25, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour. ~ Author Unknown Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 25, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Bad putting is due more to the effect the green has upon the player than it has upon the action of the ball. ~ Bobby Jones (US Golf Legends Player) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 25, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 25, 2007 Golf Jokes: Scratch GolferTwo women were put together as partners in the club tournament and met on the putting green for the first time.After introductions, the first golfer asked, "What Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:If your opponent is playing several shots in vain attempts to extricate himself from a bunker, do not stand near him and audibly count his strokes. It would be justifiable homicide if he wound up his pitiable exhibition by applying his niblick to your head. ~ Harry Vardon (English Golf Legends Player) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 26, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly and the player always lies well." ~ Anonymous Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:The average golfer doesn't play golf. He attacks it. ~ Jack Burke (US Pro Golfer) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day: (Golf) You can't call it a sport. You don't run, jump, you don't shoot, you don't pass. All you have to do is buy some clothes that don't match. :oops: ~ Steve Sax (US Baseball Player) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:A passion, an obsession, a romance, a nice acquaintanceship with trees, sand, and water. ~ Bob Ryan (US Sports Columnist) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray. ~ Lee Trevino (US Golf Legends Player) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Any game where a man 60 can beat a man 30 ain't no game. ~ Burt Shotton (US Baseball Player) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 Golf Jokes: Heaven Or HellAn ardent golfer dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. St. Peter tells the man he has lived an exemplary life and that he can go right in.The man asks, "St. Peter, where is the golf course?""I'm terribly sorry," replies St. Peter, "but that's one thing we don't have here." The man turns and decides that he will see if the situation is any better in hell. On the road to hell, he is greeted by the devil who has already heard of the golfer's rejection of heaven."This way, Sir," says the devil, "the finest tournament-quality 18-holes you are likely to find this side of Augusta, Georgia."The golfer looks around and agrees that it is the finest course he has ever seen and decides he'd rather spend eternity there than in heaven, so he signs up for the full package."So," he says to the devil, "why don't you go get me some clubs and balls and I'll have the game of my after-life.""I'm sorry, Sir, we don't have any.""What?" says the man. "No balls or clubs for a fine course like this?""No, Sir," says the devil fiendishly, "That's the hell of it." Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:(The Golf Legends) Trevino is in a league by himself. We don't even count him. We figure when you come in second, you're a winner. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez (Pro Golfer) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"His nerve, his memory, and I can't remember the third thing." :oops: ~ Lee Trevino (US Golf Legends Player), on the three things an aging golfer looses. Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:If it goes right, it's a slice. If it goes left, it's a hook. If it goes straight, it's a miracle! ~ Anonymous Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil. ~ Author Unknown Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2007 Golf Jokes: Missed Putt An older golfing couple is playing in the annual Husband & Wife Club Championship. They are playing in a play-off hole and it is down to a 6-inch putt that the wife has to make.She takes her stance and her husband can see her trembling. She putts and misses, they lose the match. On the way home in the car her husband is fuming."I can't believe you missed that putt! That putt was no longer than my 'cock'." The wife just looked over at her husband and smiled and said, "Yes dear, but it was much harder!" Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt. ~ Jack Nicklaus (US Golf Legends Player), on why he tees his ball high. Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:In golf, you keep your head down and follow through. In the vice presidency, you keep your head up and follow through. It's a big difference. ~ Dan Quayle (former US Vice President) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2007 Golf Jokes: Slow GroupThe same foursome played every day at ten o'clock. They were known as the three-hour gang, always finished by 1pm so they could play gin all afternoon.One eventful day, they ran into a foursome ahead of them, playing incredibly slow. The guys in the three-hour gang waved and waved at each tee, but the group ahead never moved aside to let them through.After a frustrating five and one-half hour round, the gang came into the men's bar fuming. The slow group was at a table across the room and the whole bar could hear the cussing coming from the gang. Finally, the waitress approached the gang and said, "You guys should lighten up. That group you're cussing out?....they can't see. They're blind golfers and I think it's great they can even play!"The first player in the gang felt terrible and told the waitress, "You're right, tell you what..send them over a round of drinks on me!"The second guy told the waitress to put the blind golfers' lunches on his tab. The third guy sent a caddie to the pro shop for four sleeves of balls to present to the blind golfers. Everyone looked at the fourth guy. "Screw 'em", he grumbled, "Tell those idiots to play at night." Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 29, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day: They throw their clubs backwards, and that's wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don't have to walk any extra distance to get it. ~Tommy Bolt (US Pro Golfer), about the tempers of modern players Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 29, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it. ~ Robin Williams (US Actor), 1986 Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 29, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:The game has such a hold on golfers because they compete not only against an opponent, but against the course, against par, and most surely....against themselves.~ Arnold Palmer (US Golf Legends Player) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 29, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:I can airmail the ball a long distance, but sometimes I don't put the right address on it. ~ Jim Dent (US Pro Golfer) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 29, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:After an abominable round of golf, a man is known to have slit his wrists with a razor blade and having bandaged them, to have stumbled into the locker and asked his partner, "What time tomorrow?" ~ Alistair Cooke (US Journalist) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 29, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 29, 2007 Golf Jokes: Best BallTwo couples were enjoying a competitive, best ball match...wives against husbands with the losers buying lunch and a libation.On the final hole, the match was all even and one of the wives had a long, breaking, fifteen foot putt to win the match. She lined the ball up carefully and confidently stroked the winning putt.Unfortunately, it stopped three inches short of the hole...dead on line. Her husband thought that this was a riot and laughing said, "Right train, wrong ticket."The wife failed to see the humor and not cracking a smile replied, "No sleeper cars on that train either" Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 30, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Playing the game I have learned the meaning of humility. It has given me an understanding of futility of the human effort. ~ Abba Eban (Israeli Politician) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 30, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. :oops: ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez (Pro Golfer), on his Puerto Rican accent Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 31, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Golf is an open exhibition of overweening ambition, courage deflated by stupidity, skill scoured by a whiff of arrogance. ~ Alistair Cooke (British Journalist) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 31, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:No game designed to be played with the aid of personal servants by right-handed men who can't even bring along their dogs can be entirely good for the soul. ~ Bruce McCall, "The Case Against Golf," Esquire Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 31, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And it took a seven to do that. ~ Jim Murray (Co-founder Ronald McDonald Hse) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 31, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used "His" name in vain when I get up there. ~Bob Hope (US Comedian & Actor), about his golfing Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 31, 2007 Golf Jokes: AgeBob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the country club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year-old blonde.She hangs onto Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how did you get the trophy girlfriend?" Bob replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!" They're amazed, but continue to ask, "So, how did you persuade her to marry you?" "I lied about my age", Bob replies."What, did you tell her you were only 50?" Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90." Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted August 31, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 31, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the cart.~ Buddy Hackett (US Comedian) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 1, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron. ~ Lee Trevino (US Golf Legends Player) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 1, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:I know I am getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators. ~ Gerald Ford (former US President) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around. ~ Rick Reilly, "Master Strokes," Sports Illustrated Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead (US Golf Legends Player) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2007 Golf Jokes: Labour Ward Exercise ClassThe room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Labour Ward Exercise class was in full swing.The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" replied the teacher... "Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?" Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2007 Golf Jokes: Tough Golf CoursesMac invited his friend Jimmy to play at his new club. Since Jimmy had never played the course before, Mac pointed out the trouble spots and where to aim on the first hole.Jimmy teed up, addressed the ball, took a couple of waggles and took a vicious swing. He hit a foot behind the ball, tore up the teebox and totally missed the ball. Unphased he stepped back, took a couple practice swings and again addressed his ball. This time his swing missed everything.He stepped back from his ball again, looked at Mac and said, "Boy, this is really a tough golf course!" :oops: Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a mouse. ~Gerald Ford (former US President) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well. :oops: ~ Author Unknown Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 3, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 3, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:I don't like watching golf on TV. I can't stand whispering. ~ David Brenner (US Comedian) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 3, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 3, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly. :oops: ~ Author Unknown Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 4, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:When I putt, my emotions collide like tectonic plates. It's left my memory circuits full of scars that won't heal. ~ Mac O'Grady (US Pro Golfer) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 4, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Golf seems to me an arduous way to go for a walk. I prefer to take the dogs out. ~ Princess Anne of Great Britain Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 4, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 Golf Joke: Senior Golf LogicA foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm. "These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained. "These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others. "The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too," said the third senior. After hearing enough from his senior buddies, the oldest and wisest of the four of them, at 87 years old, piped up and said, "Just be thankful we're still on the right side of the grass!" Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 5, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. ~ Ernest Hemingway (US Novelist) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 5, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:There is one thing in this world that is dumber than playing golf. That is watching someone else playing golf. What do you actually get to see? Thirty-seven guys in polyester slacks squinting at the sun. Doesn't that set your blood racing? ~ Peter Andrews (US Mathematician) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 5, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"Play it as it lies" is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. The other is "Wear it if it clashes." ~ Henry Beard, Golfing, 1985 Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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