crazygolfer Posted September 19, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 19, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:My body is here, but my mind has already teed off. ~ Author Unknown Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 19, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 19, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Find a man with both feet firmly on the ground and you've found a man about to make a difficult putt. ~ Fletcher Knebel (US Author) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 24, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:It's good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling. ~ Mark Twain (US Writer) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 24, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:If you want to take long walks, take long walks. If you want to hit things with sticks, hit things with sticks. But there's no excuse for combining the two and putting the results on TV. Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. ~ National Lampoon, 1979 Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 24, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 24, 2007 Golf Joke: The Professional KillerOne morning, a man approached the first tee, only to find another guy approaching from the other side. They began talking and decided to play 9 holes together. After teeing off, they sat off down the fairway, continuing their chat. "What do you do?" the first man asked. "I'm a salesman. What about you?" "I'm a Professional Killer for the mob," replied the second man. The Professional Killer noticed that the 1st guy started getting a little nervous and continued. "Yeah. I'm the highest paid guy in the business. I'm the best." He stopped, sat down his bag of clubs, and pulled out a fancy, high powered rifle that was loaded with all types of scopes and sights. He than asked the man where he lived. Still nervous the man replied, "In a sub-urban just west of this golf course." The Professional Killer placed the gun against his shoulder, faced west, peered into a scope and asked "What color roof ya' got?" "Gray." Then he asked "What color siding?" "Yellow." "You got a silver Toyota?" "Yeah," replied the first man who was now completely amazed by the accuracy of the Killer's equipment. "That's my wife's car." "That your red pickup next to it?" Looking baffled the man asked if he could look through the scope. Looking through the sights, he said "Hell. That's my buddy Jeff's truck. What the hell is he doing there if I'm..?" The Professional Killer looked through the scope once more. "Your wife a blond?" "Yeah." "Your buddy got black hair?" "Yeah!" "Well, I don't know how to tell you, but I think you've got a problem. They're going at it like a couple of teenagers in there." said the Killer. "Problem??! THEY'VE got the problem! I want you to shoot both of them! Right now!" The Killer paused and said, "Sure. But it'll cost you. Like I said, I'm the best. I get paid $5,000 per shot." "I don't care! Just do it! I want you to shoot her right in the head, then shoot him right in the groin!" The Professional Killer agreed, turned, and took firing position. He carefully stared into the sights, taking careful aim. He then said, "You know what buddy. This is your lucky day. I think I can save you $5,000!" Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 25, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 25, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:I'm a golfaholic, no question about that. Counseling wouldn't help me. They'd have to put me in prison, and then I'd talk the warden into building a hole or two and teach him how to play. ~ Lee Trevino (US Golf Legends Player) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 25, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 25, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good. ~ George Archer (US Pro Golfer) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"After all, golf is only a game," said Millicent. Women say these things without thinking. It does not mean that there is a kink in their character. They simply don't realise what they are saying. ~ P.G. Wodehouse (British Comic Writer), Order by Golf, 1922 Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:His driving is unbelievable. I don't go that far on my holidays. ~ Ian Baker-Finch (Australian Pro Golfer), on John Daly Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:John certainly gives it a good hit, doesn't he? My Sunday best is a Wednesday afternoon compared to him. ~ Nick Faldo (British Pro Golfer), on John Daly Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be barred from any public office in the United States and the families of the breed would be shipped off to the white slave corrals of Argentina. ~ H.L. Mencken (US Writer) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:A golfer's diet: live on greens as much as possible. ~ Author Unknown Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 27, 2007 Golf Joke: Blonde Golfers Two young blonde women were playing golf at a foggy par three, and could see the flag, but not the green. Each hit their ball anyway.When they walked to the green, they discovered one ball about three feet from the cup, while the other ball somehow had gone directly in. The blondes tried to figure out which ball belonged to who, since they were both using Titleist number three.Unable to decide, they returned to the Club House and asked the golf pro for a ruling.After hearing their story and congratulating them both on their superb shots under such adverse conditions the pro asked, "Okay, so who was playing the yellow ball?" Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 28, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well. ~ Art Rosenbaum (US Painter) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 28, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and run backward. ~ Ken Venturi (US Pro Golfer), on Art Rosenbaum Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Gone golfin'... be back dark thirty.~ Author Unknown Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day: May thy ball lie in green pastures... and not in still waters. ~ Author Unknown Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted September 30, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing. ~ Ben Hogan (US Golf Legends Player) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 1, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:When you hear someone shout "You da man," if he ain't shouting at Arnold Palmer, then it ain't da man. ~ Ron Green, Charlotte Observer Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 1, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:That son of a bitch was able to hole a putt over 60 feet of peanut brittle. ~ Lloyd Mangrum (US Pro Golfer), about Bobby Locke (South African Pro Golfer) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 1, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 1, 2007 Golf Joke: Thanks For Saving His LifeA tourist was playing golf in Europe when he came to a hole with a fast flowing river running down the side of the fairway. A young boy was sitting at the bank of the river and as the tourist hooked his drive and hit the boy who fell into the river. By the time the worried golfer arrived at the river bank, the boy was sinking into the deep water for the third time and was looking poorly. The tourist immediately jumped into the river and after a real struggle managed to bring the boy to dry land where he quickly revived him. He then brought the boy back to the clubhouse where he arranged for a taxi to take the boy home. About an hour later a man arrived at the clubhouse and asked the Pro, "Could you tell me where the man is who saved my son?" The Pro replied "He's over in the hotel - check with the Receptionist." The man then went to the hotel and asked the receptionist, "Could you tell me where the man is who saved my son?" "Yes, I'll call his room and ask him to come down," was the reply. A few minutes later the American tourist came down. The man asked him, "Are you the man who saved my son?" "Yes, I sure am," was the reply. "Well, would you have his cap?" Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day: Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day: Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Golf gives you an insight into human nature, your own as well as your opponent's. ~ Grantland Rice Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles. ~ G.K. Chesterton Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture." ~ Winston Churchill Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf."~ Jack Benny Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2007 Golf Jokes: EscapeeTwo golfers are waiting their turn on the tee when a naked women runs across the fairway and into the woods.Two men in white coats and another guy carrying two buckets of sand are chasing her, and a little old man is bringing up the rear.One of the golfers grabs the old man and says, "What's going on?" The old guy says, "She's a nymphomaniac from the asylum, she keeps trying to escape, and the attendants are trying to catch her." The golfer says, "What about the guy with the buckets of sand?"The old guy says, "That's his handicap. He caught her last time." Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 8, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex -wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands works." ~ Lee Trevino (US Golf Legend Player) Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 8, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"Golf is not a game, it's bondage. It was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins." ~ Unknown Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 8, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet." ~ Tommy Bolt Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 8, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five." -- John Updike Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 9, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 9, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:A golf course is the epitome of all that is purely transitory in the universe; a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible.~ Jean Giraudoux Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 9, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 9, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Eighteen holes of match or medal play will teach you more about your foe than will 18 years of dealing with him across a desk. ~ Grantland Rice Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 9, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 9, 2007 Golf Jokes: HeavenBob was trying desperately to get in 18 on a soon-to-be stormy day ... He was playing the round of his life, but as the weather grew worse, his swing on the 15th tee was awkward, resulting in a hooked drive into the trees.His lie was a good one, but right next to a tree. He quickly approached his ball, set himself up, and right as he took the club to the top, lighting struck down from the sky catching his steel shafted 5-iron. His friends hurried over to see that there was a large crater in the ground and no site of Bob or his clubs. He was gone.When he reached the pearly gates, St. Peter said, "Son, we are sorry to have taken you at such an early age, however, because you love the game so much, and you had the round of your life going, we decided to bring your clubs that you love so dearly so that you may play all the courses of Heaven which are more incredible than any course you have ever played." The man started crying instantly, to which St. Peter replied, "I know, you have left behind many loved ones." Bob said, "No, that's not it.""Yes my son, you also had an unbelievable life and a great career," St. Peter said. "No, that's not it either," sobbed Bob.St. Peter was stumped, "Well then, what could make you so unhappy, that you would cry like a three year old girl?" Bob looked up as the tears flooded from his eyes and said, "I think I left my sand wedge back on the 14th green." Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 9, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 9, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. ~ Horace G. Hutchinson Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 9, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 9, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Golf is like a love affair. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. ~ Arthur Daley Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 10, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death. ~ Sam Snead Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 10, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that. ~ Gardner Dickinson Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 10, 2007 "Golf Quote of the Day:[Players today] throw their clubs backwards, and that's wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don't have to walk any extra distance to get it." ~ Tommy Bolt Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 10, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:We learn so many things from golf -- how to suffer, for instance.~ Bruce Lansky Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 10, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 10, 2007 Golf Jokes: Sports StudyAfter a-2 year study, they announced the following results on People's recreational preferences: ?The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: basketball. ?The sport of choice for maintenance level worker is: bowling. ?The sport of choice for blue-color worker is: football. ?The sport of choice for supervisors is: baseball.?The sport of choice for middle management is: tennis.?The sport of choice for corporate officers is: golf.Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate ladder the smaller your balls become. Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 11, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 Golf Jokes: S.H.I.T.In the 16th century, most everything was transported by ship and it was also before the invention of commercial fertilizer, so large shipments of manure were common. It was shipped dry, because it weighedless but once water hit it, fermentation began which produced methane gasas a by-product. The manure was stored in bundles below deck and once wet with sea water, methane began to build up.The first time someone came below at night with a lantern.... BOOOOM! Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what had happened. Afterwards, the bundles of manure were stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" which directed the crew to stow it in the upper decks so that any water that came into the hold would not reach this volatile cargo and produce the explosive gas.Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T " (Ship High In Transit) which has come down through the centuries and is still in use today. You probably did not know the true history of this word. Neither did I. I always thought it was a golf term? :oops: Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 11, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music." -- Unknown Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 11, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:"In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base." ~ Ken Harrelson Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 12, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.~ A.A. Milne Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 12, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:It's easy to see golf not as a game at all but as some whey-faced, nineteenth-century Presbyterian minister's fever dream of exorcism achieved through ritual and self-mortification. ~ Bruce McCall Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hole-in-Want Posted October 12, 2007 Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day ~ Friday, 12 October 2007Student: Isn't golf a game for bisexuals?Golf Coach: Rubbish, only real men play golf. Not sissies, not deviants.Student: Don't golfers chase both holes and birdies?Golf Coach: (Quietly convinced) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 12, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day ~ Friday, 12 October 2007Student: Isn't golf a game for bisexuals?Golf Coach: Rubbish, only real men play golf. Not sissies, not deviants.Student: Don't golfers chase both holes and birdies?Golf Coach: (Quietly convinced) :thumb: Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazygolfer Posted October 12, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2007 Golf Quote of the Day:What a shame to waste those great shots on the practice tee.~ Walter Hagen Quote Quote: Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~ US Professional Golfer Jimmy DemaretQuote: If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Actor Bob Hope (1903 - 2003) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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