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My Crush Is Straight + Is it wrong to Fall for A Str8 Guy (Compiled)


Guest -Sebastian-

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Guest anoynomous

I am facing a dilemma right now in army. To start off, i have a crush on on of the officers in my company. I am a spec. So this new officer came in and was friendly to everyone. Soon we started to go out as commanders in groups, and slowly we realized our interest were similar and the group going out became smaller and smaller,like a small clique. One day he said that he was bored and decided msg me to ask me out. We messaged each other about the details and soon it became a long sms conversation. Coincidentally everyone wasnt free and it became a solo outing. The outing was normal and nothing special happened.

However it became a norm for us to start messaging each other. As the inferior one in terms of personality and rank, I dared not initiate the messages. But he would start randomly asking me stuff and we would soon drag to be a long msg convo. Soon, i felt that I couldn't concentrate on doing anything but to wait for his message. And my mood would be swayed but the frequency and tone of his messages.

I do not know if he is just being friendly or interested. However i could sense that he was straight, though he seems troubled and thinking much most of the time. Perhaps he was being curious or just overly friendly. I feel that i am inching nearer and nearer to him daily, but don't dare to confess as i am afraid this will spoil our relationship. I know this thinking has to stop if he is straight. I know i am wishing too much for him to like me but i am tempted to think of it that way. Sometimes i would daydream that we were a couple and hope to look out for any hints and his intentions in his messages. Its like taking a step forward but being afraid at the same time.

Its troubling me and i do not know what to do. Would any straight man message a guy friend that much if he had no intentions, and summore a friend that you meet for less than a few months? Should i demand an answer or let my heart go into this unknown relationship?

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To annonymous,

Please don't do anything silly. He is straight and as you have mentioned the first part of ur post, he is very friendly. Trust me I have been in ur position. I was a spec and had a crush on my officers . It's normal. And it's normal to have fantasies. The reason is because we are so bonded together like brothers. We work together very close and that explains the SMS. He is treating u nothing more than just a brother. U don't want to end up in undesirable situations so just stop thinking too much. This is just an advise because I don't want u to end up like me.

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Having gone through a series of straight crushes in my teens, I can conclude it's not very wise to confess your liking.

Unless you have certain cues and are very sure he is actually interested in men.

My first crush was at 14. Anyway he still doesn't know it and he has been dating the same girl since 16.

I'm happy for him and his girl.

Image00109.jpg

I'm always running after you.

You are my ideal.

You are me.

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A bit side track... but still a crush...

Years ago, met this guy online looking for tennis friends. Replied to his post and we met at his condominium at Maplewood along Bukit Timah. Am quite a good player and he passable. Don't mind rallying with him as he was totally my type. Very nice guy and cheerful too. Big big crush on him and after the game, always go to his house to shower before heading for dinner together. A couple of times, I just wanted to enter the shower with him, but afraid that it may just shock him! Haha... He told me about his family history, being married, divorced etc. We met a couple of times for tennis after that and when he told me that he is dating this guy who kissed him when he sent him home, i was "devastated"... Haha... Has not seen him for a long time after this, if he is reading this forum, hope he is doing well :)

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Guest Ironrod

A bit side track... but still a crush...

Years ago, met this guy online looking for tennis friends. Replied to his post and we met at his condominium at Maplewood along Bukit Timah. Am quite a good player and he passable. Don't mind rallying with him as he was totally my type. Very nice guy and cheerful too. Big big crush on him and after the game, always go to his house to shower before heading for dinner together. A couple of times, I just wanted to enter the shower with him, but afraid that it may just shock him! Haha... He told me about his family history, being married, divorced etc. We met a couple of times for tennis after that and when he told me that he is dating this guy who kissed him when he sent him home, i was "devastated"... Haha... Has not seen him for a long time after this, if he is reading this forum, hope he is doing well :)

This story proves, U try u have 1% chance if you don't try you can forever live in your "what if" dream lol

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I have a crush on a most probable straight guy in my camp.

I used to come from this coy in my camp before I went OOC to be a storeman.

During my days in my old coy as an armskoteman, I would peek at him and stuff and look away when he sees me. He's really really REALLY good looking! no pimples, no blemishes, no specs, thick eyebrows and the generic standing-up hairstyle. He's a sergeant btw, and im just a private.

Just recently he was the COS and I got to chat with him when I came to the coyline to collect my stuff. was just a simply "how is COS duty? shagg not?". He's really dreamy.. still thinking about him...

58c8af435f3b0_bwbanner.jpg.add74f89662a08c064062b974efe1ce7.jpg

I draw sexy men, visit http://www.toastwire.tumblr.com click on 'My Artworks'. Willing to take on comissions

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I had a huge crush on my buddy 2 years ago back in the army. We were still spec trainees then and were going to receive our vocation soon. He's very similar to me in almost all aspects (looks, height, weight, results blah) everything except that he has a girlfriend but not me. We would do a lot of things together like how normal buddies would. I was happy because he relied on my a lot and we both would stick around together, always. Other closer mates would get a bit jealous of him as I would prioritise him over them as well, we're buddies what! But secretly inside me, I know the crush on him is getting bigger and worse.

We, unluckily got posted to different units after receiving our vocations (though both us hope to end up together). That was a really heartbreaking moment for me as I know I would not be able to see him for the rest of my army life. I would lie on my bed and get really depressed and have no mood to do anything. To prevent him from knowing, we didn't have much meet ups after posted out together except for some platoon gatherings. There was a time I knew he had guard duty in his camp that night. I booked out from my camp, had dinner with some friends before buying him dinner (thought of giving him a surprise) and went to his camp. He came out and we talked for a while. It was there and then I kinda let loose my feeling a little and told him that life became really different without him and I really miss spending those times in camp with him. He had to return to do his work so I asked for... a hug. It was quite a long hug and I hugged as though he was mine. I guessed from there he kinda knew it but yeah he remained indifferent - which was okay for me.

So 2 years passed and now we're both in school. I still see him every now and then but hey, I'm not interested in him anymore. I often asked myself like "why did I like him so much the last time?" I figured probably that was a "seeking bromance" kind of moment for me.

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i have a crush at my workplace on this guy who is cute and straight and though i know that someday he will settle, at least i know that he make me happy and confortable during work and that every single time i'm stress at work, all i need is to see his cute face and all the stress will be gone from my head :)

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So 2 years passed and now we're both in school. I still see him every now and then but hey, I'm not interested in him anymore. I often asked myself like "why did I like him so much the last time?" I figured probably that was a "seeking bromance" kind of moment for me.

I have exactly same experience before ... I tot I cannot live without this campmate (chuckle ! as I typed) ... met him again in a gathering after ORD and this same question popped out "why did I like him so much the last time?"

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During my NS recruit days, I had a corporal who is totally cute and nice. He has the nicest smile and the best personality that any recruit could ask for. He is a devote xtian and he don't curse/swear and he talks to you nicely if he needs things to be done. Seeing him and talking to him will make my day.

One time, due to some ghostly rumours, he even spent a nite in our bunk. Before passing-out from BMT I ask him for his contact and he gave me. During my 21st birthday, he and my platoon sergeant was the only 2 person I invited for my party. We lost touch after that.

29 years later, it was by chance I met him again. This time he is much older and still as charming. But he told me that he had become a pastor and will be devoting his life in his believe. I wish him all his best. :)

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Based from the postings on this thread it seems that many have a crush on a straight guy. I think it is normal however as far as crushes go, they should remain that way: A crush; an unfulfilled sentiment towards someone. You know deep down, nothing within your wildest fantasy with that straight guy is ever going to come true. Let it stay a fantasy and nothing more. Over time, you will move on, meet someone who will reciprocate your feelings.

Love. 

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  • 1 month later...

i can't express these feelings of mine

i'm afraid of scaring you away

so i keep them hidden deep inside

afraid that you'll know with one glance toward my eyes

the last thing i wanna lose, is you

but there's something that makes this worse

i have a crush on a guy

The whole world thinks i'm straight and i'm in so much pain.... :(

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During my NS recruit days, I had a corporal who is totally cute and nice. He has the nicest smile and the best personality that any recruit could ask for. He is a devote xtian and he don't curse/swear and he talks to you nicely if he needs things to be done. Seeing him and talking to him will make my day.

One time, due to some ghostly rumours, he even spent a nite in our bunk. Before passing-out from BMT I ask him for his contact and he gave me. During my 21st birthday, he and my platoon sergeant was the only 2 person I invited for my party. We lost touch after that.

29 years later, it was by chance I met him again. This time he is much older and still as charming. But he told me that he had become a pastor and will be devoting his life in his believe. I wish him all his best. :)

U can still go to his church lah be 'holey'for once a wk . Hehe....

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I had a straight guy who crushed on me last year and he had been saying he wanted me as his 'kept' lover. He is married with a son, but now divorced. He had all the qualities that I am looking for: straight looking, manly, good body, matured thinking, fxxk well...but too bad I have to part him as I do not feel secured after few months having him as my part time lover. Oh yes, forgot to mention, he is a straight looking guy that turned gay when his colleague brought him to a (gay) sauna claimed by him that it was the place meant for guys, but he at the first place didn't know that the place was really meant for guys.

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I had a straight guy who crushed on me last year and he had been saying he wanted me as his 'kept' lover. He is married with a son, but now divorced. He had all the qualities that I am looking for: straight looking, manly, good body, matured thinking, fxxk well...but too bad I have to part him as I do not feel secured after few months having him as my part time lover. Oh yes, forgot to mention, he is a straight looking guy that turned gay when his colleague brought him to a (gay) sauna claimed by him that it was the place meant for guys, but he at the first place didn't know that the place was really meant for guys.

Sounds familar? Introduced to gay culture bcoz of colleague. Hmmmm

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Guest Rivrics

Sometimes to learn the crush is straight or not out of closet is the hardest truth. If straight and the person doesn't hide is clear of who he is, he will let you down easy. If the person is still unclear and still in closet, or should I term it denial, then you are in for a rollercoaster ride. So u will be unclear yourself too... we have to spare ourselves the pain sometimes and not find someone who is straight or still in denial.

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when in school, i had a crush on one of my best friends. he is tall, very fit and was the head prefect. he wore his uniform fitted and he got me all hot all the time. he is a nice good guy, but too horny for gals. met up with him recently at a gathering, not so hot now, but still got that twinkle in his eye, he became a successful businessman.

in the army, i had a crush on my OC, dunno why leh, he not handsome or anything.

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I had a crush with my PC during BMT who had a gf. We had a chalet to celebrate POP. Dunno what happened that night and he let me, I swallowed him that night when he and I drove out to buy supper for everyone. Notti sir.

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I would like to contribute to this discussion.

I am cutting and pasting a post made by my dopey, straights chasing, living only in the past twin Golfnut. This post originally dated October 15th, 2000. Although he wrote it in 2000, he was recollecting about something that happened 1982 while he was still in SIA, before he left for studies in New York City.

Try to imagine what it was like almost 30 years ago..........

============================================================================================

Do what I did with my straight friends. Contribute positively to the friendship, that's is assuming they are good people. Leave out assholes, they give us wrinkles. If and when the opportunities arise, then maybe you can fool around with them. But do be careful. Some people I know claim that they can "conquer" straight men by offering them foot or neck rubs, or even massages. You know, one thing leading to another. But these people are usually a bit effeminate and the people they "conquer" may not be all that straight... As for me, the last time I offer a massage to a straight friend, he thought I was buying him a massage and ask which health center should we go. Sigh, I look like a Geylang gangster afterall.

The cardinal rule therefore is never ever fall in love with them. Fooling around is ok but never ever fall for them emotionally. I recalled a time when I was much younger. I was working at a SIA engineering office. There was this guy called S that was about 5-6 years older than me. He was married with a couple of kids. My type. Our normal routine was to have a real quick lunch(ta pao earlier) then take a nap in the printing (blue prints) room.

There was an empty space behind the printers that was quite isolated. It was at a corner and was not visible to other people who are also napping in the room. That was the ideal spot to take a nap. S being an old-timer there was the one who seemed to get the spot most of he time. Me and a handful of others would then have to find other spots in the room. We would switch off the lights and have about 50 minutes of nap time during lunch.

One day, I got into the room a little later then usual. All the spots were taken. I walked to the hidden corner and saw S sleeping alone. The space was actually big enough for two, so I innocently told him to make space for me. That's how it began. It was a bit tight but it was cosy. From that day onward, we "napped" together until I quit my job about six months later.

It all started innocently enough, two colleagues napping on card boards on top of the carpeted floor during lunch. But as time progress, it became a routine. I would join him if he get there first, or he would join me when I get there first. Somehow, the rest of the people who also napped in the room never use that space. I think they just assumed that it was "reserved".

I did touch S quite a few times, but I don't ever remember if he got hard. I was just lightly fondling his dick outside his pants. I can't unzip him of course - people may still walk into the corner. Imagine me trying in haste to zip him up and catching his cock in the zipper - OUCH!!

What was interesting though was what happened before I left the company. I had just tendered my resignation - it was a stop-gap job before I left to go further my studies, and I was feeling a little naughty. During one of the nap I began to fondle S a little more aggressively than ususal. Previously, I might just touch him very lightly because I wasn't sure how deeply asleep was him. And once he turned over to his side, I will leave him alone. Not this time, I fondled him feeling for his cock beneath all that clothing materials. I found what I thought (it was beneath his tailored pants and underwear) was his cock and started feeling and pressing it. Suddenly it felt hard(?) and after a while, he quickly turned over to his side. Feeling kinda dejected (damn, after all these mont s, the first time I could feel that he got hard and he turnrd over). I laid there pondering my next move. After a while, I decided to use the "I have no idea I did that - I was sleeping" routine. I turned to his side and grind my crotch, ever so gently, onto to his fleshy butt.

I was of course hard and at that first time, I did not dare to press too hard onto his butt. We stayed in that position till it was time to get up. Normally, somebody else in the room would get up first, turns on the lights, say something like "Wake up!" and we'll all get up.

This pressing my hardened cock into S's butt routine occurred until I left. It was extremely erotic at that time because I do not have any gay friends and there was no outlet for my lust. Everyday I would look forward to nap time where the routine is S will get there first and then I will arrive later. He would be sleeping or probably pretended to be asleep by then and within a few minutes after I had laid down beside him, I would turn to his side and pressed my hardened crotch against his butt. And we will lay there like like for about 40 minutes. Nothing extra happened.

Until just before I left, for the last few times, he allowed (without complaining) me to press really hard onto his butt. I remembered even moving my crotch a little to simulate fxxking him and he did not say anything.....absolutely nothing. After the naps, while at work, both of us behaved as if nothing happened.

Nothing else ever happened between S and me, and we lost touch when I left for my studies.

Some straights may, and that's a big MAY, let you fool around with them. Just remember, it is a male kind of thing not to be brought up to discuss over. It is as if, it never happened!! They prefer it that way - so be it. *sigh and smile*

Take care and do be CAREFUL if you want to fool around with your straight friends. Lock up your heart when you do that. Just let both your heads lead the way.....*smile*.

=================================================================================

Please play safely! Use a condom if you are having anal sex.

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Assuming that gay men are disproportionately likely to get crushes on straight guys, the most efficient way to solve the straight crush problem is to confess to your crush. There are 4 possible outcomes (actually there are many but only 4 which matter):

#1: Crush is truly straight, rejects your fragile puppy butt love. You cry for a week or 25 years. You get over it.

#2: Crush is truly straight, but is cool with your stupid crush. Now you feel more awkward than lovesick. You get over it.

#3: Crush is not truly straight, but rejects you because "you're not what I'm looking for"/"I'm not ready for a relationship right now"/"I'm just so confused you know? I don't want to drag you into my shit". You know these are excuses, just because your dick is only 5 inch erect or because you couldn't afford a proper skincare regime in your teens. Now you're more angry than aroused (when your crush announces he's less-than-straight, your crush intensity just subsided by 90%) and bitch about him on your blog and find a new straight crush.

#4: Crush is not truly straight, accepts your love. You live happily ever after with your trophy boyfriend but a sense of uneasiness forever plagues you. How could it have been that easy? you think to yourself, there must be a catch. You grow increasingly paranoid. When he talks to girls you'll obsess, oh my gawd is he turning back straight? Stupid bitch stop talking to my man I'll cut you, I'll cut you up real good. You march up angrily to them with a box-cutter and he stops you, shouting, "What is wrong with you?!" You think, oh fxxk it's true he's straight he was never gay he just used me that stupid fxxk. I bet he's been fxxking me when she has her period. You channel your inner crazy bitch and break up with him spectacularly, never mind he's perfect and has no gag reflex. You are your own gay man. Go forth bravely. Weep a single tear and ride off into the sunset, or a Ben and Jerry's.

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Assuming that gay men are disproportionately likely to get crushes on straight guys, the most efficient way to solve the straight crush problem is to confess to your crush. There are 4 possible outcomes (actually there are many but only 4 which matter): #1: Crush is truly straight, rejects your fragile puppy butt love. You cry for a week or 25 years. You get over it. #2: Crush is truly straight, but is cool with your stupid crush. Now you feel more awkward than lovesick. You get over it. #3: Crush is not truly straight, but rejects you because "you're not what I'm looking for"/"I'm not ready for a relationship right now"/"I'm just so confused you know? I don't want to drag you into my shit". You know these are excuses, just because your dick is only 5 inch erect or because you couldn't afford a proper skincare regime in your teens. Now you're more angry than aroused (when your crush announces he's less-than-straight, your crush intensity just subsided by 90%) and bitch about him on your blog and find a new straight crush. #4: Crush is not truly straight, accepts your love. You live happily ever after with your trophy boyfriend but a sense of uneasiness forever plagues you. How could it have been that easy? you think to yourself, there must be a catch. You grow increasingly paranoid. When he talks to girls you'll obsess, oh my gawd is he turning back straight? Stupid bitch stop talking to my man I'll cut you, I'll cut you up real good. You march up angrily to them with a box-cutter and he stops you, shouting, "What is wrong with you?!" You think, oh fxxk it's true he's straight he was never gay he just used me that stupid fxxk. I bet he's been fxxking me when she has her period. You channel your inner crazy bitch and break up with him spectacularly, never mind he's perfect and has no gag reflex. You are your own gay man. Go forth bravely. Weep a single tear and ride off into the sunset, or a Ben and Jerry's.

Go n find ur ltr on grindr, any aj iphone app or irc then u wont get the first 3 scenario, plus ur crush is most likely to give u the first 3 scernario like 99% of the time. it is also pointless to fall for a straight for obvious reasons. Else u can turn str8 and avoid all the 4 scenarios and led a happily ever after life, if it ever exist haha.

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  • 1 year later...

its a common question that i still dont understand very well. cuz theres this guy i really like but he just sees me as a friend although im not very very close with him. hes straight but when i confess to him he treats as if like nothing happens. i just keep wanting more from this even though he said no. its been 4 years since i fell for him. 

 

i want to forget him but i really just cant. 

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We ain't robot. We can't just forget someone or something simply by reformatting our system. Had been through what you have facing now. Only difference is I did not confess but I think my actions tend to speak louder than words. I think he sort of know what Im up to.

The moment I know we are impossible to have anything else more than friends, I had him remove from my life temporarily. I stopped myself from contacting him by all means and focus on my studies. I keep myself real busy in terms of studies and social life. 

 

I desired to move on and hence I started meeting people, making friends. Though I try real hard at first but the feelings still lingered around for a long period of time. Took me some time to really move on. 

 

Not sure if my advice works for you but just do whatever you can to keep yourself occupied. Time will heal.

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Dude, just get over it. He's straight, nothing will get out of it. You're not in love or infatuated - you're obsessed.

 

Let him go and find another gay guy to fall in love with. Things will be so much easier.

 

i have to agree with you. I think i am going through something like this as well just that in my case hes attached. Dont think too much about it. slowly let go and move on. If it helps, find a distraction, maybe like work or school. Really keeps you busy and stops you from over thinking a lot of stuff. Sometime the worst demons are not others, its ourselves.

:mellow:
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its a common question that i still dont understand very well. cuz theres this guy i really like but he just sees me as a friend although im not very very close with him. hes straight but when i confess to him he treats as if like nothing happens. i just keep wanting more from this even though he said no. its been 4 years since i fell for him. 

 

i want to forget him but i really just cant. 

 

不是你的就不是你的. 干嘛浪费你的精,力,神去为一个根本没给你机会的人呢?自讨苦吃. 早跳出苦海找自己的快乐吧!

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不是你的就不是你的. 干嘛浪费你的精,力,神去为一个根本没给你机会的人呢?自讨苦吃. 早跳出苦海找自己的快乐吧!

 

can someone translate that.

 

anyways. its not easy to forget. the only time i forgot about it is during my field camp. too shag alr. i still talk to him at times. but not too much. i dont want him to feel irritated by me ):

Edited by lonely57
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can someone translate that.

 

anyways. its not easy to forget. the only time i forgot about it is during my field camp. too shag alr. i still talk to him at times. but not too much. i dont want him to feel irritated by me ):

Translation:

Not yours - why waste your energy for someone who won't give you a chance? You are begging to be hurt. Leave this sea of bitterness and search for your own happiness ...bah. - end.

 

But seriously, speaking from experience, don't waste time. You may think it's ok to just be with him but no no no no no. When you look back years later, you'd wish you had moved on earlier.

After all, tomorrow is another day. ~ S O'Hara

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When something that is not your to be had, it won't be yours to have. Why waste energy & time on someone that won't give you any opportunity. You are looking to have the door slam on your face.  It's not worth chasing after soap bubbles, move on to find your happiness.

Edited by GachiMuchi
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That's the problem, you never learn from your past mistakes. Always barking up the wrong trees. Why don't you move to a different tree or a bush for a change. Do you always have to learn things the hard ways before you realised that you had wasted time and effort chasing after soap bubbles?

When will you learn then?

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I came across this once. What a painful experience to fall for a straight guy. Especially when he just treat you like a normal normal friend. Its ok not been able to be his lover, but its hurt when he don even give me a chance to be his best buddy, thats the most hurtful part. If given a choice, i rather not have it the second time. But when it comes to emotion, its really hard to control. So praying hard that i will not meet another straight guy who can make me willingly give up everything for him again, for now, i already have nothing to give after that first encounter. foolish me.

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I am so glad I came across this thread. Despite the wisdom that years should bring I recently found myself falling for a straight friend who I found to be everything I could possibly want in a guy - apart from the fact that he has no interest in men sexually speaking. He was only visiting S'pore but we had the most intense week together (platonically speaking). I'll add here that he knows I am gay and has no problem with that - it doesn't affect our friendship in any way. But this time around I really felt myself beginning to fall for him. But the advice given here has given me a much needed reality-check. He has gone on his way now and instead of feeling depressed I will just smile with happy memories and carry on as normal friends. What is not meant to happen will never happen. I am glad I never discussed my then feelings about him.  I would only have seemed stupid.

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