worldangel Posted September 1, 2021 Report Share Posted September 1, 2021 Joke: Throwing Darts Husband throwing darts at his wife's photo and not even a single throw hitting the target. From another room the wife calls, "Honey, what are you doing?" Husband: "MISSING YOU..." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 1, 2021 Report Share Posted September 1, 2021 Joke: A man and his wife were making ….. A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit, the wife being pregnant with their first child. After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife's stomach with indelible ink. The couple was curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home, the husband got out his magnifying glass to try to see what it was. In very tiny letters, the stamp said, "When you can read this, come back and see me." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 1, 2021 Report Share Posted September 1, 2021 Joke: Store Manager: "I saw you arguing … Store Manager: "I saw you arguing with that customer who just left. I told you before that the customer is always right. Do you understand me?" Salesclerk: "Yes, sir. The customer is always right." Store Manager: "That's better. Now what were you arguing with the customer about?" Salesclerk: "Well, sir, he said you were an idiot." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 1, 2021 Report Share Posted September 1, 2021 Joke: Coffee Shop I walked into a coffee shop on Halloween to find the woman behind the counter with a bunch of sponges pinned to her uniform. "I'm assuming this is a costume, but just what are you supposed to be?" I asked. The waitress responded proudly, "I'm self-absorbed." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 1, 2021 Report Share Posted September 1, 2021 Joke: A husband and wife are sitting A husband and wife are sitting on the couch watching TV. The wife looks at the husband and he is staring at the ceiling above her head, she looks up and asks, "What are you staring at?" "A spider," he replies. "I don't see anything," she says. "Oh, it must have fallen on your head," he said calmly. The wife jumps up screaming... The man says, "While you're up, can you get me another beer?" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 1, 2021 Report Share Posted September 1, 2021 Joke: Kids Eat For Free Waiter: I just wanted to let you know kids eat free. Dad: Good, I'll have water and my daughter will have the steak and a kid's light beer. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 1, 2021 Report Share Posted September 1, 2021 Joke: Ruined My Day "My Friday is ruined!" "Why, what happened?" "I realized today is Tuesday." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 1, 2021 Report Share Posted September 1, 2021 Joke: A seventy-six-year-old man married A seventy-six-year-old man married a woman less than half his age and took her off on honeymoon to the Caribbean. When he returned home, his sister asked him how it had gone. "Oh, it was wonderful," he said, "We made love almost every night." "That's quite a feat at your age," said the sister. "Yes," he continued. "Almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday... Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 1, 2021 Report Share Posted September 1, 2021 Joke: Electricity bill My electricity bill was running suspiciously high so I had the power company send someone over. He found a wire tapped into my house running to a neighbour’s. Watt do you know, a Joule thief lives next to my Ohm. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 1, 2021 Report Share Posted September 1, 2021 Joke: A jewel thief A jewel thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up the woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewelry and money. The man started sobbing and said, “You can take anything you want. You can even pistol whip me, but please untie the rope and free her.” Thief: “You must really love your wife!” Man: “No, but she will be home shortly.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 1, 2021 Report Share Posted September 1, 2021 Joke: Steal the paintings A thief tried to steal the paintings at the Louvre in Paris. He was caught two blocks away when he ran out of gas. He said, “I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh. But I tried because I had nothing Toulouse.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 1, 2021 Report Share Posted September 1, 2021 Joke: Spelling Errors I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole one liner is urined. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 1, 2021 Report Share Posted September 1, 2021 Joke: Bagel With Cream Cheese I went to a deli and said, “I’d like to buy a bagel with cream cheese.” The kid behind the counter said, “Sorry we only take cash or credit cards.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 1, 2021 Report Share Posted September 1, 2021 Joke: Eye Test A Polish guy goes into an optician for an eye test. The optician holds up a card with CZWJNYSACZ on it and asks him can he read that? The Pole says, “Read it? He’s my best friend.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Ethics Failure My professor told me that I’m failing my ethics class. So, I slid 20 dollars across the table and said, “What about now…?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Coming Home Now My wife stormed into the bar last night as me and the boys were downing shots of tequila. “You’re coming home now!” she screamed. “No, I’m not,” I laughed. She said, “I’m talking to the kids.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Fear Of Birds I said to my therapist, “I’m getting a gun because of my fear of birds.” She replied, “I think you might be getting carried away.” I shouted, “Not without a fight, I’m not!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Dog Pancakes My wife said to me, “We just ate, why are you making pancakes?” I said, “They’re for the dogs.” She asked, “Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?” I said, “They don’t know how.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Calendar Vandalism Someone removed the 5th month from all my calendars. I’m really dismayed. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Spiderman Jacket Did you know that Spiderman has a winter jacket made entirely of Mediterranean flat bread. It’s a Pita Parka. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Favourite Teacher My favourite teacher at school was Mrs Turtle. Strange name, but she tortoise well. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Vampire Hunter I recently bought 51% of a vampire hunting company. I’m the main stake holder. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: No Canaries Did you know that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands? And the same thing applies to the Virgin Islands. There are no canaries there either. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Tire Rolling When I was a child, we used to roll down hills in old tires. Those were the good years. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Claustrophobic Astronaut I once met an astronaut who was claustrophobic. Turns out he just needed a little space. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Fault Finder My dad always told me, “Don’t be quick to find faults.” He was a good man. Terrible geologist though. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Lying Son The school phoned me today and said, “Your son’s been telling lies.” I said, “Tell him he’s very good. I don’t have a son.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Stairlift I’ve offered my elderly neighbour $20 to try out her stair lift. I think she’s going to take me up on it. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Straw User I told my friend that he really shouldn’t be using a straw and he replied, “Yeah, I know, I know, it’s bad for the environment.” I said, “Sure, there’s that…” “But it’s just a really weird way of eating spaghetti.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Hotel Towels I stayed in a hotel last week where the towels were so thick…. I could hardly close my suitcase. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Bed Fart Why doesn’t James Bond fart in bed? Because it would blow his cover. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Validated Opinions Some people always need their opinions validated. Am I right? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Different T-Shirt My wife said to me, “I’m leaving. I am sick of you wearing a different t-shirt every half an hour.” I said, “Wait. I can change.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Winter Fat Finally, my winter fat has gone… Now, I have spring rolls. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Going Deaf My doctor told me I’m going deaf. The news was hard for me to hear. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Expensive Teslas I figured out why Teslas are so expensive. It’s because they charge a lot. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Enhanced Senses If you lose one of your senses, your other senses are enhanced. This is why people with no sense of humor have a heightened sense of self-importance. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: New Kitten How do you buy a kitten when the pet store is closed? You order it from the cat-alogue. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Lawn Mower I had to fire the guy I hired to mow my lawn. He just didn’t cut it. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Twitter Addiction Doctor you’ve got to help me, I’m addicted to Twitter. Doctor: I don’t follow you. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Flight Possibility A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly … And as you can see, they were Wright. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Diabetes Awareness I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies… Is this a trick question? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Pretty Positive I got called pretty today. Well, actually, the full statement was “You’re pretty annoying”, but I only focus on positive things. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Scared Yoda Why was Yoda afraid of 7? Because 6, 7, 8. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Grease Soundtrack I told my therapist I can’t get the Grease soundtrack out of my head… He said, “Tell me more”. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Meet my little brother A guy takes his girlfriend to his bedroom, drops his pants, and says, "Meet my little brother." The girlfriend picks up her purse on the way out and says, "Call me when he grows up." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Erleen I'm in trouble with my next-door neighbours. I went over to their house recently to jump on there tramperleen. I had just got on when I heard a voice say, "Hey you, get off my daughter Erleen!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: An old couple An old couple is ready to go to sleep. The old man lies on the bed, but the old woman lies down on the floor. The old man asks: ”Why are you going to sleep on the floor?” The old woman says, “Because I want to feel something hard for a change.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: Walking Orders A graverdigger, walking in the streets of a small town chanced to turn and noticed two doctors walking behind him. He stopped until they passed and then followed on behind them. "And why this?" asked the doctors. "I know my place in this procession," he said. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
worldangel Posted September 2, 2021 Report Share Posted September 2, 2021 Joke: The detectives Detective Johnson and detective Smith were investigating a murder that occurred next to a playground. The only witnesses to the murder were four children, a brother age 3 and sister age 4, and a different brother (age 7) and sister (age 8). The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldn’t bother question 8D’s children about what they saw, since they’re too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9D’s kids will remember. A detective is staking out the entrance of a romantic restaurant and after a few hours of not seeing the criminals he’s looking for he gets hungry. He calls his partner to fill in for five minutes while he grabs some dinner and tells him to “Take a picture of every single person that walks through the door.” The partner waits for the detective to return and when he does the detective asks to see the photos that he took. The partner replies, “I didn’t see any single people, I saw a lot of couples though.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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