worldangel Posted September 8, 2021 Posted September 8, 2021 Joke: Good Day My boss told me to have a good day. So, I went home. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 8, 2021 Posted September 8, 2021 Joke: Original Pentagon Today I learned that the Pentagon was supposed to be the Octagon. But the contractor kept cutting corners. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 8, 2021 Posted September 8, 2021 Joke: Ocean Cutter How do you cut an ocean in two? With a sea-saw. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 8, 2021 Posted September 8, 2021 Joke: Helium Factory I just quit my job at the helium factory. I won’t be spoken to in that tone. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 8, 2021 Posted September 8, 2021 Joke: Gasoline Drinker Who can drink 2 liters of gasoline? Jerry can Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 8, 2021 Posted September 8, 2021 Joke: Guitar Buyer I bought a guitar the other day but it doesn’t work. Guess I should’ve known when the seller said no strings attached. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 8, 2021 Posted September 8, 2021 Joke: Pass The Pamphlet Bro, can you pass me that pamphlet? Brochure. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 8, 2021 Posted September 8, 2021 Joke: Store Opening I opened a shop selling used artificial limbs. I called it the second hand second hand store. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 8, 2021 Posted September 8, 2021 Joke: Retired Boxer A retired boxer goes to see his doctor because he’s having trouble sleeping. “Have you tried counting sheep?” the doctor asks. “I tried,” the boxer explains, “but every time I get to the number nine I stand up.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 8, 2021 Posted September 8, 2021 Joke: Mahogany Bowtie My wife said she saw a bowtie made from solid mahogany. She said she nearly bought it for me but she didn’t think I would wear it. I replied, “Wooden tie?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 8, 2021 Posted September 8, 2021 Joke: Mayonnaise Thrower Somebody just threw a jar of mayonnaise at me. I was like, “What the Hellman!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 8, 2021 Posted September 8, 2021 Joke: Bad Movie I don’t know why everyone is saying Cats (the movie) was bad. They played it on my flight home and there were only two walkouts. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 8, 2021 Posted September 8, 2021 Joke: Zoo Minimum Apparently to start a zoo you need at least two pandas, a grizzly, and three polars... It's the bear minimum. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 8, 2021 Posted September 8, 2021 Joke: They Call Me the Computer My boss calls me "the computer"... Nothing to do with intelligence, I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 8, 2021 Posted September 8, 2021 Joke: This Morning My neighbour banged on the wall at 4:30am this morning! Can you believe it. Lucky I was still awake listening to music. They banged and shouted, "Can we have a little respect please?" I shouted back, "I'm not a big Aretha Franklin fan but this one’s for you!" Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 8, 2021 Posted September 8, 2021 Joke: Good Advice Father is giving his son some life advice. Father: “If you want to be a good man, you must be honest and cautious in life.” Son: “And what does that mean?” Father: “You must fulfil everything you’ve promised.” Son: “And cautious?” Father: “Never make any promises.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Twin Daughters If I have twin daughters, I’ll name one Kate. And I’ll name the other DupliKate. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: First Time In Elevator My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience. The second time let me down. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Ultimatum My wife gave me an ultimatum. It was either her or my addiction to sweets. The decision was as easy as pie. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: A Lot Like Algebra Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: High Heating Bill My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high my heating bill is. I told him, “My door is always open.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Gone In 60 Seconds I can’t find my ‘Gone in 60 Seconds’ DVD. It was here a minute ago. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Bad Sense Of Direction What do you call a superhero with a bad sense of direction? Wander woman. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Second Man Hi, I’m Buzz Aldrin. Second person to step on the moon. Neil before me. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Wife’s Job It’s really hard to say what my wife does for a living. She sells sea shells on the sea shore. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Wife Clone My wife said to me, “I’m going to clone myself” I said, “That would be just like you.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Procrastination My son asked me what procrastinate means. I said, “I’ll tell you later.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Brain Fell Out Doctor: Your brain fell out after your accident, but we managed to put it back in. Me: Thanks for reminding me. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Angsty Teenage Robot What do you call an angsty teenage robot? A sigh borg. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Defibrillator Failure It’s very rare that a defibrillator fails. But when it does, no one is shocked. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Pig In Black Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied? Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Star Wars Name My son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as inspiration when naming my kids. However, his sister Chewbacca is less amused. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Building Site I was walking past a building site when the guy hammering the roof called me a “paranoid little weirdo”. In Morse code. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Cheap Wig I thought my dad spent all his savings on an expensive wig. But one look and I realized it was a small price toupee. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Underwater Dog What do you call a dog that’s underwater? A sub-woofer. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: High Temperature Dog What do you give a dog that has a high temperature? Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: After Match Party After my son’s team won the soccer game, the goalkeeper invited us to his house for a party. It was the father, the son, and the goalie host. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: One Is Not Enough It has recently been brought to our attention that a definite parallel exists between a Martini and woman’s breasts… One is not enough, and three are too many! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: A Diet Plan I’m not interested in any diet plan... Unless of course it lets me use rollover calories! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: You're Beautiful and I Love You "You're beautiful and I love you!" I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff. My echo replied, "I just want to be friends! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: In Love With A Teacher My teenage son asked me if I ever fell in love with a high school teacher. "In fact, I did. She was gorgeous! I couldn't take my eyes off of her... I dreamt of a life together with her day and night." "Wow! What happened with that, dad?" he excitedly asked. "Your mom moved you to another school. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: The Meaning of Politics A group of etymologists has discovered the two root words of the word 'politics'. Greek polu-, from polus, meaning much, many. Tick: Any of numerous small bloodsucking parasitic arachnids of the family Ixodidae, many of which transmit febrile diseases, such as Rocky Mountain spotted fever and Lyme disease. Make your own conclusions Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Dinner Party A man and his wife attended a dinner party at the home of their friends. Near the end of the meal, the wife reprimanded her husband. "That's the third time you've gone for dessert," she scolded. "The hostess must think you're selfish and an absolute pig." "I don't think so," he said. "I've been telling her it's for you." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: A Dog's Life A woman told a marriage counsellor that her husband's complaint that he leads a dog's life is probably well founded. "He comes in the house with muddy feet," she said, "tracks across my clean floors, barks at nothing, growls at his food, and makes himself comfortable on my best furniture. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Air Disaster This country’s worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. The search and rescue workers have recovered 2826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: It's Ten Miles Teacher: If two people told you they walked five miles in a straight line into a desert how many miles would they have walked together? Little Johnny: They would have walked 10 miles together. Teacher: That isn’t correct Johnny, they walked 5 miles together, so the answer is 5 miles and not a combined total of 10 miles. Little Johnny, nope, it’s 10 miles and I’ll betcha a buck. Teacher: You’re on! Now explain to the class how you arrived at 10 total miles. BTW, I’ll let you off the hook for the dollar. Little Johnny: You said two people told me they told me they’d walked in a straight line five miles into the desert. How could they have told me this unless they walked backed? That’s ten miles in my book and I’m not letting you off the hook, change will be fine. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: That's Not A Problem Is It? Three older gentlemen in a nursing home are discussing their nightly Bathroom habits. The first guy says, "I have to get up every 2 hours and take a wiz, but I stand there and only dribble a little bit an nothing hardly comes out." The 2nd guy says, "I know exactly what you mean, the same thing happens with me." The 3rd guy is not saying anything. The other two ask him if he has any problems. He replies, "At about 5am every day I whiz like a race horse on a rock, and by 6am I have the best bowel movement every day." As the other two guys are listening one asks him, "That's not really a problem is it?" He replies, "For me it is, I don't get up till about 7am." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Still Up In Bed A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where’s mom and dad?" She replied, "They're up in bed," so the little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma the same question. She replied with the same answer and the little boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went out to play. Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his grandma, "Where's mom and dad?" Once again his grandmother replied, "They're still up in bed," and the little boy started to laugh again. The grandmother asked, "What's wrong? Every time I tell you they're still up in bed you start to laugh! What is going on here?" The little boy replied, "Well last night daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline and I gave him super glue instead." Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Gimme Your Money While strolling down Hollywood Boulevard at night, a guy felt a gun pressed to the base of his head. “Gimme your money or I blow your brains out,” a voice snarled from behind. Without missing beat the guy said, “Go ahead and shoot. In Hollywood you can live without a brain, but not without money.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 9, 2021 Posted September 9, 2021 Joke: Healthy and In Good Shape Little Johnny attends a horse auction with his father. He watches as his father moves from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses’ legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asks, “Dad, why are you doing that?” "Because when I’m buying horses, I first have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape.” Johnny, looking worried, says, “Dad, I think the gardener wants to buy Mom.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
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