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Joke: An old couple

 

There was an old couple laying in bed.

 

The man turns and tells the woman, "If you want to have sex, pull on my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull on my dick one hundred times."

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Fake Bills

I was working in my shop when the cashier called me over.

 

He said, “These two guys came in and tried to give me some fake fifty dollar bills.”

 

“What did they look like?” I asked.

 

He said, “Fifty dollar bills.

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: The mother of course

 

A wife calls her mother in-law and asks her, “If your baby puked and pooped, who should it clean it up?”

 

The mother in-law yells, “The mother of course!”

 

The wife says, “Then come clean up your drunk son!”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Six should be enough

 

I was walking down the street with my wife when we saw six guys beating up my mother-in-law.

 

My wife yelled, “Hey, aren’t you going to help?”

 

I said, “No, six should be enough.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Pirate

 

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder.

 

The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants.”

 

The pirate says, “Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts.”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: In the desert

 

A man is walking in the desert with his horse and his dog when the dog says, “I can’t do this. I need water.”

 

The man says, “I didn’t know dogs could talk.”

 

The horse says, “Me neither!”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Three questions

 

A guy goes into a lawyer’s office and asks the lawyer: “Excuse me, how much do you charge?”

 

The lawyer responds: “I charge £1,000 to answer three questions.”

 

“Bloody hell – That’s a bit expensive, isn’t it?”

 

“Yes. What’s your third question?”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Your money or your life

 

A thief pointed a knife at me and said, “Your money or your life

 

I smiled and told him I was married, so I have no money or a life.

 

He dropped the knife and we hugged and cried for a moment.

 

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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Joke: Give me your money

 

A thief stuck a pistol in a man’s ribs and said, “Give me your money.”

 

The man, shocked by the sudden attack, said, “You cannot do this, I’m a congressman!”

 

The thief said, “In that case, give me my money!”

a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"

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