worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Lawyer Entitlement A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present.” One of the cops replies, “You are the lawyer.” The lawyer says, “Exactly, so where’s my present?” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Paid A Stranger Yesterday I paid a stranger to knock me unconscious, shove a foreign object up my butt and film the whole thing. Or as my doctor insists on calling it, a colonoscopy. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: A can of peaches The judge asked the woman what she stole. She replied, “I stole a can of peaches.” The judge then asked, “How many peaches were in the can?” “Six,” replied the woman. After consideration, the judge decided to sentence her one night of prison for every peach she stole. Six nights total. At this moment the woman felt helpless, bawling her eyes out, she didn’t know what to do. And before the judge smacked the mallet down to make it final, her husband entered into the courtroom and yelled, “Your honour, wait!” The judge froze and listened to what the husband wanted to say. “She also stole a can of peas!” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Several years ago …. Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often, he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over. The warden was thinking of remodelling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top, which he had promised his wife. So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him. But, alas, Andy refused. He told the warden, “Gosh, I’d really like to help you but counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Dancing Queen Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common. No one needed an ABBA cuss. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Pasta Eater My wife said she’d leave me if I didn’t stop eating pasta. Now I’m feeling cannelloni. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Newly Qualified As a newly qualified veterinarian, I’m now permitted to treat animals. Tonight, I took a herd of cows out for drinks. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Even Numbers I somehow managed to make it through high school math while only being able to remember even numbers. What are the odds? Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Book On Clocks My book on clocks finally arrived. It’s about time! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Viking Messages How do Vikings send secret messages? Norse code. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Sword Weight My sword doesn’t weigh much. It’s my light saber. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Hungry 50Cent What did 50Cent do when he got hungry? 58. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Annoyed Lobster What do you call an annoyed lobster? A frustacean. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Darth Vader Steaks How does Darth Vader like his steaks? Well, done done done, done da done, done da done. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Video Games I get depressed if I don’t play video games. I always need to console myself. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Odd Beef What beef only comes in 2, 3, 5, 7, or 11 ounce portions? Prime rib. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Look At Egg What happens to an egg every time you look at it? It becomes egg sighted. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Participation Trophy What do you call a participation trophy in astronomy? A constellation prize. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Mount Rushmore Have you ever seen a picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved? Its beauty was un-presidented. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Hulk’s Jeans How come the Hulk doesn’t lose his pants when he transforms? The scientific experiments altered his jean Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Birthday Cake I said to the doctor, “Every time I eat birthday cake, I get heartburn”. She told me to take the candles off first in future. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Pasta Factory I started my new job at the pasta factory last week. It’s been going well for the most part, just a fusilli mistakes. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Unwell Book Two books meet in a library. The first book says “You don’t look too well”. The other book replies “Just had my appendix removed.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Autopsy Club Everyone was excited at the autopsy club. It was open Mike night. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Gardening Skills Has anyone else’s gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have? I planted myself on the sofa at the start of April and I’ve grown bigger ever since. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 5, 2021 Posted September 5, 2021 Joke: Describe Me I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I’m mature, I’m moral, I’m pure, I’m polite and I’m perfect! Then she added that I also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Nice Smelling Pope Which Pope smells the nicest? Pope Pourri. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Secret Taxidermist I hate telling people I’m a taxidermist. When they ask, “So, what do you do for a living?” I just say, “Oh, you know… stuff.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Two Crows My roommate tried to keep two crows in our apartment as pets. The police arrested him for attempted murder. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: High Fish How do fish get high? Seaweed. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Horoscope Obsession My girlfriend just couldn’t accept my obsession with horoscopes. In the end it Taurus apart. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Armed Robber A shop assistant tried stopping an armed robber by attacking him with a labelling gun. Police are now looking for a man with a price on his head. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Genuine Friend What do you call a genuine friend? A legiti-mate. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Foot Cooler Earlier, I was driving behind an ambulance when a cooler fell off the back. I stopped and opened it up to find a foot inside. So, I decided to call a toe-truck. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Instagram Celebrity What do you call an Instagram celebrity who got coronavirus? An influenzer. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Exercise Routine I asked my wife for suggestions for an exercise routine. She said, “Why don’t you try lunges?” I said, “That’s a big step.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: One Thousand Bees News just in: Local police have acquired 1,000 bees. They’re believed to be used as part of a sting operation. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Overrated Tofu A few minutes ago, I came to the conclusion that tofu is overrated. It’s just a curd to me. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Rough Neighbourhood I grew up in a rough neighbourhood. As a child people would cover me in chocolate, cream and put a cherry on my head. It was tough in the gateau. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Hiking Playlist I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries and Eminem. I call it my Trail Mix. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Cat Ladies When single ladies get to the age of 50, they tend to get lots of cats. This phenomenon is known as many paws. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Two Faults My wife tells me I have 2 major faults. I don’t listen – and something else. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Psychic Powers Not to brag, but I have sychic powers. For example, right now you’re thinking, “It’s psychic, you idiot.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Named After Dad I was named after my Dad. Because I couldn’t possibly have been named before him. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Blacksmith Interview I went for an interview at a blacksmith’s yesterday. The blacksmith asked me, “Are you any good at shoeing horses?” I said, “No, but I once told a Donkey to get lost.” Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Alphabet Soup You’ve heard of alphabet soup now get ready for… Times new ramen! Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Chest Hair My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all. I’m nervous she won’t be able to pull it off. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: National Anthems What musical genre are national anthems? Country. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Feeling Numb English puns make me feel numb. But math puns make me feel number. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
worldangel Posted September 6, 2021 Posted September 6, 2021 Joke: Mixed Up Monkeys What do you call a bunch of monkeys all mixed up? An orangutangle. Quote a good oral sex makes your day, a good anal sex makes your "hole weak"
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