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Atrapada

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One and a half years left to decide: to get a permanent job and settle down or continue studying. But at the end of the road, I want to have kids. 

Edited by leibniz

Do the things at which you are great, not what you were never made for.”

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I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me. And it has nothing to do with what I look like really, it is just that I gave myself the power to say that I am beautiful, and if I could do that, maybe there is hope for them too. And the great divide between the beautiful and the ugly will cease to be. Because we are all what we choose. - Margaret Cho

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善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no

right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind,

changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

― J'son M. Lee 

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I ran around the block. Tot I saw a familiar bike passed around the corner of the building. That was where he normally parked his bike when he came over.

Was kinda disappointed when I couldnt find his bike there. We were supposed to meet for lunch but he didnt turned up. No call even. Perhaps he was caught up in his office and clearing his work before our flight, later at night, to Bangkok.

The weather was hot and I was soaking in sweat. Took the elevator up, back to my office. Barely seated when the phone rang. I answered.

'Hi TamPenis. This is M from the XXX Embassy. I have bad news to share with you.'

'Erm.. ok. How bad?'

'Our beloved TA.... he had passed on early this morning in a road accident.'

'Huh? How?'

'We dont have the full details yet. The police is with His Excellency, right now. I thought I just give you a call first to let you know.'

I sat on my chair and froze. Mercedes was saying something but I just cant digest n understand any words from her from there on.....

24 hours earlier... 'I'll be dropping by Branigans later. I pick you up as usual?', he asked.

'No. I think I'm not going. Got tons to do today.'

'Oh... not even just for awhile? Just a drink. I give you a ride home.'

'You really have to go tonight? We will be drinking lots more in Bangkok... or else why not we just have a drink at your home?'

'Just a drink, I promise. I wont stay up late.'

'You sure? You promised the same thing, the other time but you had more than 1 drink and left only at 3 am.'

'This time I really promise. If you dont believe me, you come along and drag me out after I have 1 drink.'

'You go ahead. I havent even packed. Dont drink too much ok?'

'Ok. I come over for lunch tomorrow.'

'Nah... dont have to. We meet at the airport tomorrow at 7, ok?'

'Yup but before that we are having lunch. See you tomorrow at 12.'

'Ok ok... see you tomorrow.'

That was on the 8th July 1992. That incident left me with alot of What Ifs...

What if I had gone to Branigans with him?

What if I had told him not to go to Branigans and be adamant about it?

What if.... what if.... what if....

If I cant feel it, I aint faking it

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A dicky durian?


 


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善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no

right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind,

changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

― J'son M. Lee 

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Guess the so-called intelligence of an educated society is still easily influenced by what they are given to read, instead of going out to seek the truth for themselves.

Happy with a painted picture instead of going deeper to find the canvas underneath.

Every community has its dark side and to judge them based on that dark side alone is really disappointing.

Name me a society that doesn't have a dark side and I'll shut my gap but assuredly every community has its own flaws.

It all boils down to how far are we willing to understand other people.

"People fear because of a lack of understanding, and a lack of understand comes from a lack of proper communication on both parties, so to resolve fear we need to first resolve communication".

Of course, evidently there are people out there who are scared to build the bridge in the first place.Guess the so-called intelligence of an educated society is still easily influenced by what they are given to read, instead of going out to seek the truth for themselves.

Happy with a painted picture instead of going deeper to find the canvas underneath.

Every community has its dark side and to judge them based on that dark side alone is really disappointing.

Name me a society that doesn't have a dark side and I'll shut my gap but assuredly every community has its own flaws.

It all boils down to how far are we willing to understand other people.

"People fear because of a lack of understanding, and a lack of understand comes from a lack of proper communication on both parties, so to resolve fear we need to first resolve communication".

Of course, evidently there are people out there who are scared to build the bridge in the first place.

Cooking is my passion. Music is my life. Reading is my sanity. 

Bitching about you keeps me happy. 

 

"People fear because of a lack of understanding, and a lack of understanding comes from a lack of proper communication on both parties, so to resolve fear we need to first resolve communication"

 

 

 

 

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and when toothbrushes have sex

 

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and a reminder to myself and all of us

 

10525591_774779095894130_296980020854431

Edited by iamziz

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善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no

right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind,

changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

― J'son M. Lee 

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1238011_644820472218000_1525478810_n.jpg


______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no

right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind,

changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

― J'son M. Lee 

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10526074_10154399270870061_6486634833231


______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no

right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind,

changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

― J'son M. Lee 

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10306318_1476836182555954_36946604251655


______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no

right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind,

changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

― J'son M. Lee 

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Unhappiness happens when we allow our ego wanting to control things; when there is a strong desire to fully take charge even on subjective matters.

 

The irony living in a round Earth is that all forms of thoughts and emotions are never linear and straight.  These energies go round and round in circle and the only way out is the consciousness to detach from it.

Click Here To Visit My Blog @ "The Blessed Life"

*Let me live my life to be an instrument of 'Love', in how I speak and in how I see others*

- May there be Love and Peace beyond all understanding -

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10393574_568198826624168_320274838427729


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善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no

right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind,

changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

― J'son M. Lee 

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No smell of coffee or a tempting call

No running water, just the rain that falls

No one to guard this fragile wall

Everything is broken

The weather channel says only grey

No poets urging me to seize this day

No one to shield me from the pouring rain

Everything is broken

 

Torn to the bone

And burned to the ground

You left nothing for me

Battered and blistered and brought to my knees

You left nothing but my smoking remains

Drenched by the rain

- It's always darkest before the dawn.

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When you surround yourself with turkeys, you try to be a peacock. When you leave to be by yourself, you'll realise how ugly a duck you were then - thinking of yourself as a peacock.

 

Much to learn, fatso. Much to learn.

- It's always darkest before the dawn.

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It was an accident when I met her for the first time in the airport and she asked my number. The second time we met she gave me a box with present. Was it a Snoopy keychain? For some time I thought I would marry her. But things change.

Do the things at which you are great, not what you were never made for.”

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It was last year that we bid each other goodbye. Since then, we ignored each others' presence whenever our path crosses.

But tonight, we both let our guards down.

Tonight's silence was broken by the beep sound from Grindr's notification.

"You are still awake?" He texted.

"Yeah.. I'm not an early sleeper."

Then there was silence.

"What were you doing in the neighbourhood?" I asked. Breaking the silence.

"Sent somebody home. Now I'm waiting for the bus at the bustop opposite your home."

"Ah... ic."

"Aren't you not gonna invite me over for coffee?"

I was baffled at his question. Its almost midnight and he might missed his last bus. I paused for awhile in my reply.

"?"

"Its kinda late isnt it? You might missed your last bus if you wanna have coffee. And by the way, I run out of coffee and tea. Left only me." I replied.

"I could catch a cab after i had me. I'm coming up now."

Huh? Fuck!! I frantically changed into somewhat a decent clothing.

As I'm zippping up my bermuda, my phone rang..... You're the one I'm waiting for.. I give you my heart, my soul, my everything...

I answered. "I'm at your door and you still have that ring tone?"

I didnt answer his question, end the call and opened the door.

If I cant feel it, I aint faking it

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10500287_569684926475558_407839990856377


______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no

right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind,

changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

― J'son M. Lee 

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Work too much, everyone see you are tired, say why so tired, you look like you lose weight

Work too little, everyone say why you so lazy, dont do enough will lose out.

In the end, work until sick, work until fall asleep standing up.

Where to draw the line, when to force yourself?

Uncertainties and worries, can work numb you and make you forget, or will you eventually remember, why you work so hard (Cos of the uncertainties and worries)?

How does one feel validated in all that they do?

Speaking loudly, suffers softly. Smiles so wide, cuts unseen inside.

Bitin' the bullet, but never kick the bucket.

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善待对人。麻烦用英文来表达信息。不是每个人都会看的懂中文 “People need to learn the art of making an argument. Often there is no

right or wrong. It's just your opinion vs someone else's opinion. How you deliver that opinion could make the difference between opening a mind,

changing an opinion or shutting the door. Sometimes folk just don't know when they've "argued" enough. Learn when to shut up."

― J'son M. Lee 

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What is becoming of the world?  What is becoming of us?

 

For whatever it is, for whatever that humans are in darkness for answers, I pray for my own forgiveness.  I pray to be forgiven.  Forgiveness is a gift.  Forgiveness frees us.  Forgiveness in our own acts in error because we forget about divinity.

Click Here To Visit My Blog @ "The Blessed Life"

*Let me live my life to be an instrument of 'Love', in how I speak and in how I see others*

- May there be Love and Peace beyond all understanding -

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